Dude, What's With the Robe?
by PsychoticSushi
Summary: Moving to a new continent can be pretty weird for you. It's even weirder when a pervert with a talking bear ends up in your bathroom to interrupt your shower. How the HELL does Ichigo plan to survive this crazy Yankee chick? Randomness at its finest.
1. Hey, Soul Sister

**Me: Well, here it is. The first chapp. Y'know, this is the first fic i've done since my house fire. That's right, I'm officially caught up!**

**Ichigo: (eye-roll) No one gives a shit.**

**Me: (rolls eyes right back) You're just lucky Rukia isn't here. **

**Ichigo: (looks around) She's not? Then why the HELL am i still here?**

**Me: Go away now.**

**Ichigo: Tch, don't have to tell me twice. (runs off)**

**Me: (sighs and shakes head) Whatever. Anyway. If you've read this fic before, you're probably going "WTF" a hundred times a minute right now. Stating the obvious, i decided since i couldn't sleep, why not edit my earlier chapps! So yeah. Hopefully they'll be a bit better. Enjoy!**

* * *

_Sigh. Jetlag._ Peyton wasn't exactly used to 14-or-so-hour flights. Especially when she was dragged into the aforementioned flight _despite_ hating flying with a passion. Your dead mother having been a flight attendant would do that to you. ...Or maybe that was just her weird logic talking.

Either way, you'd think maybe her dad would take that into consideration before deciding "Hey, kids, let's move across the world to a foreign country! I mean, we used to visit the town every year, right?". Granted, the last time they went was when her mother had died, but nah, why would that matter?

She shook her head quickly as she continued to scrub her reeking body. "Nope. Don't ruin the pure goodness of this extremely hot and well-needed shower. Don't you do it!"

During the stupid flight, some geek puked all over Lindsay, and some of it had gotten on her as well. Disgusting. Peyton may be paranoid about planes, but _she _could at least contain her bodily fluids!

Even though she told herself to stop ruining the showery goodness, that didn't mean she couldn't ruin the largeness of her new room as she unpacked. Technically, she couldn't mope in the _shower._ And when you promise to do something stupid, such as be positive, technicality matters.

_Sigh. Again._

* * *

Peyton hated Japan already. She used to love it, everything about it. But some restless moaning outside had kept her awake, causing her hatred to return tenfold the next morning.

So, guess who had to make a detour on the way to school to try and settle it? _(Note to self: when moving your kids across the world, DON'T move on a Sunday and make them have to face school on a **Monday**, for crying out loud!) _

Peyton sighed again, hoping this angsty mood of hers would disappear soon. She knew she was probably annoying the hell out of her family with her attitude over this whole situation, but she couldn't help it! It sucked!

Finally, she turned the corner to see a nearly transparent girl sobbing and moaning in an alleyway, just like she had been all night last night. _There she is._ "So. YOU kept me up all night. What's eatin' ya?"

She stared at Peyton with wide brown eyes, surprised she could be seen, but too desperate to share her misery with someone to question it. "I was hit by my own boyfriend's car, and...I died in the hospital. He blames himself. He's planning to committ suicide. Please, help me talk him out of it before it's too late!" she begged, starting to cry all over again.

Peyton nodded quickly; she hated it when ghosts started crying. "S-Sure, I can miss my first day! Where does he live?"

She sighed, rubbing her eyes briefly. "T-Tokyo."

Peyton groaned. "Dude, that's HOURS away! When's he planning on making his dramatic exit?"

"How am I supposed to know?" she wailed.

"YOU'RE the one who told me he was committing suicide, shouldn't you know when he planned to do it?" she exclaimed, despite knowing arguing with a miserable ghost was pointless. She glanced at her phone, and wished she hadn't; school started way too soon for her liking.

"Just _please_ help him!" she moaned, sobbing some more and making Peyton feel even more miserable.

Peyton had to wrap this up, or she was gonna be late. And there's nothing more humiliating then being late on your first day in the middle of a school year. "Okay, um, yeah. He's beyond help. BUT!" she yelled as the poor girl started wailing again. "BUT, when he committs said suicide, he'll have unfinished business as well. Which will eventually bring you two back together. Which will SETTLE said business, so you two can prance off into the light together."

"Won't he go to hell for killing himself?" the ghost questioned, her tears slowing nonetheless.

"I...think there are certain exceptions. But I wouldn't recommend it!" She added loudly to anyone who might happen to be listening.

You know, just in case they could see ghosts too.

Dead girl brightened. "Thanks!"

Peyton gave her a quick half-salute before sprinting like mad for school. "Good luck!"

* * *

So. _That _delay cut the extra ten minutes she had. Peyton thanked her lucky stars she had a belt on as she just _barely_ made it to the office.

Running skills aside, her skirt was almost three sizes too big. "Leave it to dad to assure us that, and I quote, 'I know your sizes! If your mom could do it, so can I!' " She muttered darkly as she walked up to the desk.

The woman behind the desk blinked up at her. "Yes? Can I help you?"

"Um, I'm transferring here? My sister and brother already got here, I'm guessing." As if that would help. They were both blonde-haired and blue-eyed, the complete opposite of their red-haired and brown-eyed younger sister. _Thanks a lot, mom, for only passing your genes onto **one** of your spawn._

"Name?" She asked dully as she rifled through folders.

"Oh, right. Peyton Cullen?"

Her head shot up. Oh yeah. Before Twilight came out, she _never _got that reaction. But instead of commenting on the coincidence, the woman whispered, "The _Yankee kids_!"

Peyton cleared her throat nervously. "Well, if you wanna be _specific_, I'm from the South, so I would be part of the Confederacy in this reference. But I still think slavery is bad and everything, of course, I mean, I may be lazy but I'd do my own work any day," she rambled, wincing slightly as the bell rang rather loudly in the hallways.

The lady nodded slowly, mesmerized. It was more than a little unsettling. "Right...Ah, here you go," she said suddenly as she handed her some papers. "The one on top's a hall pass and a note explaining who you are and other information your homeroom teacher might need. Good luck!" she explained cheerfully.

Peyton smiled politely, then muttered to herself as she walked away, "I'll need it."

* * *

You know those movies about new kids where the door shuts really loudly, and everyone's heads shoot up in their direction? Same scenario. And boy, was it as cliche as she'd imagined it would be.

"Um...hi," she said lamely, this being one of the few times in her life that she wanted the floor to swallow her up.

The teacher waved a hand cheerfully. "Why, hello there. Can I help you?"

"Yeah, are you, Ms. ...Ochi?" Peyton read off the slip of paper, thanking Lindsay in her head for insisting they should learn about basic Japanese characters before moving to Karakura Town. Although, Ms. Ochi _had_ spoken English, so that was a little comforting.

"That's me! You must be the Yankee kid!" Looking at everyone's faces, Peyton had an epiphany. _Huh. THIS must be what a fish in an aquarium feels like! _

"Uh...Yes ma'am?" she replied uncertainly, fully aware that she probably sounded like a complete idiot. Her Southern accent wasn't helping her case any, either.

"Well, take a seat, take a seat!" Ms. Ochi said in her oh-so-cheerful tone, making Peyton feel even more miserable as she made her way down a row of desks and plopped into an empty seat near the middle of the room.

Peyton spent the rest of homeroom studying her class schedule and maps carefully. She took Bella's tip seriously from that damn Twilight series; she didn't want her nose buried in the map all day.

Of course, it was hard to focus when you have slight ADD and a whole classroom full of people staring at you intently to see if you do something...gasp!..._YANKEE!_

Finally, once she had at least the way to her first two classes memorized, she slowly looked up at them. "...Yes? Can I _help_ you?"

Like minnows, they swiveled back around in their seats and their gazes shot down to their books. Some random guy whistled innocently. Peyton rolled her eyes. _Idiots. _

* * *

First period was history with Mr. Udo. His name reminded her of noodles, making her want ramen real bad.

He was cool, he didn't call her Yankee Kid, which made him one out of roughly five hundred.

Peyton's seat was behind a girl that she considered cool enough; she hadn't stared at her in homeroom like everyone else had. ...Well, minus that one other girl whose face was buried in some gooey romance manga (the cover had some doctor and nurse with hearts all around them, if that gives you any clue).

Besides, history had always been her favorite class. The fact that it was Japanese history made it even _more _interesting, and she was a natural talker, so...needless to say, it was over way too soon, and she had had a good conversation with Tatsuki through most of it.

Now she had no choice but to trudge to the next class, one she hated with a passion: Biology.

Here she was known as American Girl. That was slightly better, but was still pretty damn depressing. She was partnered up with the whistling kid from her homeroom, and he immediately swiveled towards her in his seat. "Why, hell-_ooo_ there," he said suavely.

Peyton gave him a half-wave. "Yo."

He held out a hand, making her blink at him. "I'm Keigo. You're Yankee Kid, right? One of three, I hear."

She sighed and shook it. "Yup. Word sure travels fast around here..."

"Karakura's a bit, uh, small. So what's your _real _name?"

She sweatdropped, getting her hand out of his after two tries._ Wait...Isn't Karakura quite large?_ "Peyton."

_"Peeyy-_ton," he repeated suavely. "I like it."

Peyton sweatdropped. _Did I mention how much I **don't like** Karakura Town anymore? _She pretended to be relieved. "Oh, good. I was named just to please you."

Keigo chuckled. "Feisty, are we?"

She sweatdropped again. "...Sure." _I was thinking more along the lines of a smartass, but whatever floats your boat, kid._

"Hey, you. What time is it?" someone asked from above her head, interrupting her flow of thoughts that were bound to turn more and more suicidal the longer she sat by Keigo. Peyton glanced up at him and realized this kid looked _really _tall from the insanely low seat she was sitting in. NOT fair.

She held up both wrists; they were covered with random multicolored bracelets, including one from a Tokio Hotel concert that she was particularly fond of, but no watches. "Does it _look _like I know?" she replied dully, not feeling like pulling out her cell phone and getting it taken up.

Keigo didn't seem to like this guy's arrival. "10:15, Kurosaki. Can't you see I'm _busy_ here?" He pointed at Peyton meaningfully.

The Kurosaki kid looked from Keigo's suave expression, to Peyton's bored one, and just smirked. "Yeah, you're on a roll. Have fun."

And with that, he just walked right off. Peyton turned in her seat to look at Keigo. "Who the hell was _that_?" she asked, hoping she'd have a name so she'd know who not to ever stand by. She was short enough as it was.

He waved the question off. "Ehhh, no one important. So, where _were _we?" he asked with a waggle of his eyebrows.

_...Oh. Dear. God. Someone shoot me_.

* * *

Thank _God_ she had Lindsay in her PE class at least. "Have they been staring at you too?" Lindsay whispered as they changed.

They had taken refuge in the locker room's bathroom stalls to escape the sideways looks they kept getting. "Well, yeah. We're YANKEES!"

"OMG!"

They exchanged a laugh. "It's worse for me, I think," Lindsay commented thoughtfully after a few moments of silence between them.

Her younger sister had to agree. Not only was Lindsay one of the fellow apparent Yankee Kids, but she was a tall blonde that was more "developed" than_ two _Peytons. Not outrageously so, but enough to make Peyton shake her head at her own chest in disappointment._ Poor Lindsay...the girls might eat her alive._

Peyton, unlike Bella Swan, had a knack for sports. So _there_. Of course, when the coach called her name, about half of the room's female population gasped. The fact that she could play baseball didn't help the situation, it just made her the butt of every Twilight joke out there. Oh well, she was used to it by now, but it still didn't really ease the excruciating pain of a slow first day.

Needless to say, she practically _ran_ out of the building once the bell rang, and her two older siblings weren't far behind.

"So? How was _your_ day?" Seth asked them as if it were of extreme importance. Even _that_ sounded like he was mocking her, but perhaps that was her pessimism and paranoia mixing together.

"I felt like a bug under a microscope," Lindsay whined.

Peyton waved her hand from side to side. "Ehh, it was okay." Total bold-faced lie. While it had a couple nice points, like meeting Tatsuki and having at least one subject she actually enjoyed studying for, the majority of the day had just been an epic failure.

Seth grinned and popped his collar, making his sisters sweatdrop. "All the girls_ so _wanted me. Nothin' they like more than a new senior in town with badass hair and a sexy accent to match his sly Southern grin," he explained, probably having read that off the back of one of Lindsay's romance novels and paraphrasing it to his liking.

"Well, aren't _you_ the stud?" Peyton said as she smoothed his collar and flattened his dirty blonde hair. "Here, your hair's all scruffy."

"Dammit, P, you're ruining my image!"

"WHAT image?"

"The one I'm building like a pro, stupid! _You_ wouldn't know!"

"I know that you're a _dumbass_!"

"YOU'RE the dumbass!"

"No, YOU ARE!"

"_YOU_ ARE!"

"_YOU_ ARE!"

"YOU GUYS, CUT IT OUT!" Lindsay shouted, making them settle with sticking their tongues out at each other. Their sister sighed and shook her head. "Funny how you're older, Seth, yet you let her treat you like a five-year-old."

"You _both_ treat me like a five-year-old," he muttered.

Lindsay grinned. "I cook your dinner, I have a right to!"

"Yeah, and you better watch it. 'Cause one day, Linds is gonna get sick, and _I'll_ be fixing dinner! I might poison you food!" Peyton warned with a maniacal laugh.

Her siblings both shuddered. "...Peyton, if you cooked dinner, you wouldn't _have_ to poison the food, it'd kill us regardless."

"HEY! MY COOKING ISN'T _THAT_ BAD!"

"LAST TIME YOU COOKED, YOU SET THE KITCHEN ON FIRE!"

"YOU CAN'T PROVE THAT!"

"YOUR RAMEN NOODLES WERE STILL ON THE STOVE, DUMBASS!"

"...Minor details."

* * *

The next day, she was walking to school when she felt something whoosh past her, making her stop and gasp. In her so-tired-she-looked-dead state, a bunny hopping past her could make her scream in terror, so feeling fabric against her skin when there was no one beside her _definitely_ did a number on her nerves.

It had felt like...she didn't really know...robes maybe?

She glanced around quickly, but due to her delayed reaction, whatever it had been was long gone. _Was it the breeze? Huh. Weird. _

The day after _that_, Tatsuki introduced her to Orihime, who put Lindsay's developed-ness to shame, and Rukia, the one with the gooey romance mangas.

She more or less hit it off with the three, though it took Rukia a while to "decipher" her "strange dialect". Even with that odd statement, neither she nor the other two considered her to be some gang member from America, like the others did. Apparently that was what "Yankee" meant around here...

Why they thought this in the first place, Peyton had no idea. She wasn't exactly the gang-banger type. For crying out loud, she was the one that made fish faces at Mr. Okiwura, her biology teacher, when his back was turned!

Peyton had only been there for about half a week, but she had already noticed how Rukia and that orange-haired guy hung out a lot. Kurosaki kid, right? Almost like they were related or something, though they looked nothing alike. ...Granted, she didn't look anything like Lindsay and Seth, but she still didn't buy it. So, when she was almost a hundred percent sure dad was staying at the morgue late that night (he was the Chief Coroner, the whole reason they moved was so he could take the job), she decided to do some recon.

Which here meant following them with idiotic secretiveness, such as rolling behind buildings and doing cartwheels across alleys for kicks and giggles. But, hey. She wasn't noticed, _and_ she had fun. So...two birds with one stone!

She had just barrel-rolled across another alleyway, stalking them from the shadows as they had some sort of shouting match about something, when she got curious as to what exactly they were arguing about. But before she could get within hearing distance, she heard heavy sighing. Peyton knew that sigh. It was definitely a ghost.

She groaned to herself and quietly stomped towards the restless spirit. "Goddammit..."

* * *

"So, lemme make this REEAALL simple," Peyton was calmly saying a few minutes later as she kept a firm grip on the squirming punk under her arm.

"Alright. Now. When there's flowers placed by a pole or a bit of sidewalk, what does this usually mean? Anyone?"

"Uh-"

"IT'S AN EASY QUESTION."

"Someone died there!" He yelled quickly. His fellow "gang" members were shaking like leaves.

"Very good, Wise One. Now. Should we disturb said memorials by doing lame skateboard tricks like idiots?"

"No ma'am!"

"And would you agree that they don't deserve to have their memorials wrecked, disturbing their peace? And _also_ interrupting me while I'm busy lurking in the shadows?"

"No ma'am! I-I mean, YES MA'AM!"

"VERY GOOD!" She practically body-slammed him into the concrete. "And it's Yankee to you! Not ma'am, that was my momma!" She yelled as they ran off.

"Y-yes, Yankee chick!"

"Dude, that girl's a freak!"

"For real! You think her and that orange-headed kid team up? This is almost the same spot we got our asses kicked LAST TIME!"

"I wonder if she's single?"

"Shut up! She might hear you!"

"Keep running, dickheads!"

Once they turned the corner, she addressed the poor guy with a cheerful sigh. "There," she said simply, putting his picture back up against the pole. Like the punks, he was a few years older than her. He smiled at Peyton. "Thanks."

Peyton shrugged. "Not a problem. It's a gift, really, my uncanny ability to talk sense into hardcore idiots."

He nodded in agreement. "It really is. Thanks again."

She glanced around. "Yeah. And, uh, sorry about that vase. I found this cool leaf if you want _that_, and I could stop by and bring some flowers or something tomorrow on my way to school," she offered, setting the leaf under the picture frame to hold it down.

He chuckled. "Sure. Thanks for the leaf. Y'know, you're pretty cute when you're angry."

Peyton grinned. "Well, _that's _a gift too, I guess. See ya around." He gave her a half-wave before shimmering away.

She let out a contented sigh; she had gotten her rage fix for the day.

"Well. _That_ was interesting."

Peyton nearly jumped ten feet in the air before turning around to give whoever it was an earfull. "You just cut about ten years off my life!" She trailed off when she realized it was the orange-haired guy she had been dumbly following earlier, along with Rukia.

"...Oh. Hey Rukia. And...you."

"Uh, hey Peyton. ...Were you just _talking _to yourself?"

She laughed nervously. "Psh...what? Of course not, Rukia! I was-I was talking to my friend," she explained quickly.

No one had ever really caught her talking to ghosts since she was eight and had _realized_ they were ghosts, so it had definitely thrown her off guard. Especially with that look the orange-headed kid was giving her.

"Uh-huh...So where are they?"

"Oh, he left before you guys showed up...he's, um, fast," she muttered. Well, he _was_ fast.

"Oh...I see. Well..see you later."

"Bye Rukia. And..._you_."

They sweatdropped as she left, and Rukia clicked her tongue. "...That explains her spiritual pressure."

"You _think_?" Kurosaki kid replied, and Peyton flushed as she stomped down the street.

"I can't believe that!" she grumbled to herself once she got home. "Grr! Now I look like an idiot, and slightly schizoprenic! ...But what the hell did she mean by 'spiritual pressure'?"

* * *

Over the next few days, Peyton kept being visited by ghost after ghost after ghost. She had never dealt with so many, not even over the course of _weeks_. Lately it was an average of four a day. And on _top _of that, she had to catch up on the lessons she'd already missed in her subjects, and apparently, Tennessee curriculum sucked by Karakura Town standards. All of that equaled dark circles under her eyes, even more unkempt hair than usual, and waking up with drool all over her textbooks.

"Gah!" She had fallen asleep in the shower. AGAIN.

Today had had an eery feeling behind it. Like something was bound to attack her at any minute.

She scowled at her paranoia and turned the hot water knob some more. _Ahhh. Burning skin never felt so good_, she thought to herself with a content sigh. But she turned stiff when she heard a crash right outside the curtain. _What the hell?_

"Hey, is this _Orihime's _bathroom?"

"Shut up, you idiot! Just 'cause_ I'm_ invisible, doesn't mean _you_ are!"

"So? The water's running, they can't hear me."

"They can when you're _yelling_! ...Wait...Where the hell's the Hollow?"

"Oh...I was hoping we were paying a visit or something.."

"Kon, I know this is hard, but let's use logic for a second, alright? Focus. Why would I go all Soul Reaper if we were _visiting_?"

Peyton's brows furrowed. _Soul Reaper? Is that some kind of weird Japanese slang for something perverted? Well, since they're standing in my bathroom and being secretive about it, I suppose so..._

She slowly clutched the shaving cream that's lid had been left behind in Tennessee somehow. While the morons continued arguing, she pulled back the curtain just enough to poke her head out, make sure her body was still behind it, and let out a yell.

"Take THAT, dumbass PERVERTS!" she screeched, and shaving cream flew everywhere.


	2. What's My Age Again?

**Me: Well, I figured I'd go ahead and post the second chapp while I'm here. You guys can live with that, right? Can you? CAN YOU?**

**Rukia: (sweatdrops) Um, Mandy?**

**Me: Why yes, Rukia?**

**Rukia: (stage-whispers) I think you're scaring them off...!**

**Me: Ohhh...right, right... (plasters on huge, freakish grin) READ IT NOW!**

**Ichigo: ...Dumbass.**

**Me: Tite Kubo owns the awesome Bleach characters and storyline, I own the less-than-awesome Americans and this nowhere-near-as-great storyline. I think you'll be able to tell the difference. I have the utmost faith in you. **

* * *

She sprayed the first one she saw in the face with all the shaving cream in the can. It got him, but it didn't take long for her to realize that he practically reeked of that strange aura that always accompanied ghosts, making her gasp.

"Holy _crap_...Hey, _wait_ a minute..." She gasped again, scrutinizing him. "_YOU_?"

He scrutinized her right back, suddenly putting two and two together and pointing at her. "_YOU_ LIVE HERE? OH MY GOD, IT'S THE YANKEE CHICK!"

It was none other than the Kurosaki kid, and some...teddy bear? It seemed to be in shock, if that was possible. Just then, Lindsay barged in, meat cleaver in hand. All three sweatdropped.

"Um, Lindsay...why are you wearing a hair net and wielding a giant meat cleaver?" Peyton asked carefully as she watched all the steam escape the room with a tiny sigh of disappointment. She loved stepping out of showers with all that steam in the room!

Lindsay rolled her eyes. "Dad asked me to wear a hair net...he doesn't want hair to fall in his food. Blonde's just too hard to make out, and after Seth choked on it last night, he doesn't wanna take any chances."

"Um...okayyy..."

"Anyways, what's with all the racket? Here I am, slaving away over_ your _food, and I hear you yelling something at the top of your lungs-" Lindsay stopped abruptly and spastically looked around, trying to cover her head so the hair net couldn't be seen. "PLEASE tell me some hot...ghost dude isn't laughing at me right now!"

Peyton glanced at the shaking-with-laughter orange-headed guy and shook her head. "Nope. No hot ones."

"HEY!" She ignored him.

Lindsay sighed. "Oh, good. Well, if you're okay.."

"Yes, still alive. Could you shut the door before you let out whatever steam might be left in here? Don't want to have to buy a new smoke detector after Dad hits it with a bat again..."

"Yeah, that's true. OK then."

As she shut the door, the pervert shook his head. "Yankees are crazy..."

Peyton gave him a glare. "Ignoring that. If you don't mind, I'm kinda cold. Could you maybe, I dunno...GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BATHROOM?"

* * *

_**SEVEN**__** MINUTES LATER...**_

She stepped out of the bathroom, fully dressed, to address The Problem.

"Now I just have to..." Peyton trailed off as she noticed the teddy bear sniffing a bottle of Lindsay's favorite perfume. "Ahh...Almost better than Orihime's!" he exclaimed happily, practically cuddling the bottle.

She sweatdropped. "...Find them."

Kurosaki kid popped up out of nowhere, making her yelp. "You have _no idea_ how long it took to get that shaving cream off my face!"

She put her hands on her hips. "Serves you right for being a pervert! What were you doing in my bathroom, and what the_ hell _is all this Soul Reaper business?"

He sighed. "Um...This would be a lot easier to explain if I were in my body again."

"Come again?"

He rolled his eyes and tugged her and the bear along. "Just come with me!"

She pried his fingers off her shirt. "I will NOT be dragged around by an invisible hand!"

"Wait...so you _can't_ see me? Now I'm confused!"

"No, _I _can see you, but not many other people can if you're as...ghost-y as you feel. No one in _this house _can, anyways. So...IF YOU DON'T MIND, I would like to look SOMEWHAT sane while talking to myself."

As they walked out the front door, Peyton threw over her shoulder, "To whom it may concern, I'm going out for a while!"

After trying to keep up with him for about two blocks, he stopped abruptly in front of a house, causing her to spastically wave her arms and sway a little to keep from ramming into him. "Wait here."

She sighed and waved him off. "Yeah yeah." While he was inside, she crossed her arms and looked at his house; not like she had much else to look at. According to the Kanji on the front of it, his house doubled as a clinic. The clinic part of it jutted out from the rest, with the rest of the house branching to the left. There was railing with some bushes, and it had two floors to it, all topped off with a green roof. All-in-all, she deduced it was cooler than _her_ current house, which made her even more depressed about moving here in the first place.

_Goddammit. _

Two minutes later, he walked out in a normal t-shirt and jeans. Peyton smirked. "Aw, no robe? I thought it was making a great fashion statement."

He scowled at that, and she scowled right back. "So...plan on explaining _before _I turn eighty, or what?"

* * *

_**THIRTY MINUTES LATER...**_

"Well, gee, if you had said you were buying me food I would've been a _lot_ nicer," Peyton muttered, switching her little sack of fries to her other hand as she struggled once again to keep up with him. "So, lemme get this straight...Soul Reapers bring the dead to this Soul Society, and chase after Hollows, which are spirits that went off the deep end, basically?"

"Yeah."

"And...Rukia's really 'dead', aka a full-fledged Soul Reaper from the Soul Society, and her body's a gigai, which is just a Soul Reaper's human form?"

"Uh-huh."

"And _you're _alive and from _this_ plane of existence, but when your family was about to be killed by Hollows, or eaten, or _whatever_ the hell they do, she transferred her powers to you, and boom! You're a part-time Soul Reaper?"

"Pretty much."

"And...I'm supposed to believe this is true, _not _some elaborate story you made up to cover the fact that you were somehow in my bathroom hoping to get a flash show or something? Because my Aunt Kate warned me about guys like that around here!" she informed him, making him sweatdrop as she plopped down beside some random fountain defiantly.

He rolled his eyes before sitting down next to her, making that bear of his squeeze between them to feel like a part of the conversation. "First of all, who would peek at _you_? And secondly, how come your sister didn't see me? And how come you thought I was a ghost? And what was that about me _feeling_ like a ghost? Speaking of which, how the _hell_ can you see me when I'm in my Soul Reaper form in the first place?"

Peyton shrugged. "I've seen plenty of ghosts, you're no different. Dad says I got it from my mom. The red hair or something," she explained carelessly, too busy munching happily. "As for you feeling like a ghost, I've noticed they all feel about the same. It's kinda...well, cold obviously, but there's just some kind of otherworldly feeling about them. It makes my scalp tingle. And you felt the same way," she elaborated.

He nodded. "I get what you mean. I've felt that around ghosts, too."

She sweatdropped. "And yet it's just _so_ surprising that someone else can see ghosts like you can?"

That just made his temple throb. "...That's besides the point!" he exclaimed defensively.

"Tch. Whatever. Wait, so _why _were you in my bathroom exactly? You never explained that part."

The bear nudged him secretively, apparently trying not to be noticed by passersby. "...Should we be telling her all this?" _Most people would be kind of freaked out about a talking stuffed animal. It's pretty bad when you can just shrug and say 'I've seen weirder', _Peyton noted with a sweatdrop.

"What harm could it do? It's better than her calling the cops on us or something, and she looks like she gets it."

"Um, I'm sitting right here," Peyton commented dully with a sweatdrop.

"Oh, right. Anyway, Rukia sent me to take care of this Hollow on my own. I didn't expect anyone _alive _to be there, much less armed with shaving cream."

She smirked. "Rule number one: Expect the unexpected."

* * *

_**THIRTY-FOUR**__** MINUTES LATER...**_

"I still don't really get it," she informed him matter-of-factly, arms crossed against her middle.

"Get WHAT?" he asked with an impatient sigh as they walked home. The guy wasn't half bad, he had the decency to walk her home. The least he could do for interrupting her shower, plus he probably was trying to make sure she didn't call the cops or anything.

"The whole switch between Rukia's powers and yours. How'd she do it?"

"Oh, that. Basically she transferred it through her sword, and my own spiritual energy did the rest. Simple," he said with a shrug.

Peyton sighed. "NOTHING about this info-dump you've given me is simple. This would've been a lot easier if you had shown me some kind of diagram or something, I mean, pictures make everything easier."

He sweatdropped. "Not if the drawings are crappy. Trust me on this." She gave him a weird look and was about to reply when something quite literally ran her down.

Before Peyton could quite process what was happening, she was skidding on the ground and some huge gray creature was above her, ready to strike, dust from the road billowing behind it. She flinched as it roared and its claws slashed through the air, but they never struck her.

With a quick flash of sun glinting against metal, Kurosaki kid had sliced right through the..._thing _with his zanpakuto - that Soul Reaper blade he'd mentioned. It soon disappeared, and he was back in his body in no time at all. Peyton watched on in a shocked silence before standing up slowly. "W-What...What the hell was _that_?"

"Hollow."

Her face fell. "Holy shit, you weren't bluffing. There goes my theory about the straightjacket and whatnot..."

His temple throbbed at that, but then he made a face. "You don't look so good. Kind of...green?"

Peyton shook herself quickly. "I-I'm fine, just...shaken up, I guess? That was the most fucked-up thing I've ever seen..." She glanced down at her leg and made a face. There were three giant, claw-like slashes trailing down her calf. "Ewwww, they're sort of slowly oozing blood!" she exclaimed, shaking her leg as if that would get the marks to vanish.

He cocked his head, sweatdropping at her spastic leg-shaking. "Wow. Looks kind of like Orihime's, only...bloodier."

Peyton rolled her eyes. "Gee, thanks. ...You know, I have _yet_ to catch your name."

"I'm Ichigo Kurosaki."_ Heh. Strawberry? Figures. _

"Oh. Well, Ichigo, thanks for saving me from a freaky, painful death," she said cheerfully as she walked with him around the corner, favoring her injured leg but trying not to show it hurt. Last thing she needed was another reason to stick around, she was tired and confused enough as it was.

"Um...you're welcome. Should I call you Yankee?"

"Sure, if you have a death wish. My name's Peyton." She stopped at a four-way stop, walking backwards so she could look at him. "Well, this is where we go separate ways. See ya," she said with a half-wave.

Ichigo grabbed her arm and tugged her the other direction. "Whoa whoa whoa, where do you think _you're _going?"

"Um, I dunno, _home_ maybe?"

"No way, you were just _attacked_, you idiot!"

"...So? You killed it! You went all Ninja-Like on it! I saw you!"

"Yeah, but if _one_ didn't get you, the _others_ will. Unless, of course, you stick with a Soul Reaper," he explained proudly.

Peyton sweatdropped. "Well...are there any _other_ Soul Reapers?"

He just rolled his eyes and gave her an extra-hard tug as he practically dragged her around several corners. "You're coming with me. At least for a few hours. The last thing I need is a guilty conscience."

She sighed exasperatedly. Not only was he about twice her size, but she had to admit he was pretty strong, so she highly doubted anything short of kicking him in the groin and making a break for it would help her at all. But then she'd have to run away with her hurt leg, and he _had_ saved her ass back there...

Peyton settled with scowling and giving him a fake salute. "Aye-aye, Mon Capitan."

* * *

When they got back to his house, Ichigo glanced at her as he opened the door. "You might wanna duck."

"What?"

Almost as soon as the door was opened, a man with spiky black hair dove outside, aiming for Ichigo's face. He simply ducked and let the man land in a bush, and Peyton tripped over a twig and landed flat on her back. "WELCOME BACK, SON!" he exclaimed, struggling with the bush before springing out of it cheerfully.

Peyton sat up, blowing the bangs out of her eyes, and Ichigo's dad's eyes widened to the size of saucers. "Who's THIS?" he asked with a drawn-out gasp, making both Peyton and a younger dark-haired girl that had been standing by the front door sweatdrop.

"Um...I'm Peyton?" she offered, almost as if it were a trick question.

"Isn't that one of the Yankee Kids?" a girl with light brown hair asked the other girl, who nodded.

"I think so."

Peyton's temple throbbed, and Ichigo sighed. "Look, can she stay here for a while? Maybe for the night?"

Mr. Kurosaki's jaw dropped, as did the brunette's. "W-WHAAAT?"

"A girl?"

"Here?"

"The _night_?"

"Does Rukia know about this, son? " he demanded, and Ichigo promptly kicked him in the face.

"It's nothing like that!"

Peyton sweatdropped as the two started fighting, and the darker-haired girl just shook her head before jerking her thumb towards the inside of the house. "Come on in, this'll take a while."


	3. Creepin' Up The Backstairs

**Me: OK, so if you thought the LAST chapter was funny, you'll REALLY-**

**Ichigo: what makes you think the last chapter was funny?**

**Me: BECAUSE, _shadowgouf_ said so!**

**Ichigo: and so he suddenly knows EVERYTHING about funny stories?**

**Me: Well, he said MINE was funny, so, in a word, YES.**

**Ichigo: (sigh and annoyed shake of the head)**

**Me: (eyeroll) ANYWAY! I OWN NOTHING BUT PEYTON AND HER FAMILY! AND MOST OF THE STORYLINE! Enjoy.**

* * *

Peyton followed her inside, and she slammed the door shut before shaking her head. "In case you haven't noticed, my brother and dad are idiots."

"I'll keep that in mind."

The girl with the light brown hair winced as they heard another crash outside. "I hate it when they fight..."

"Why? They do it all the time," the other one replied with another shake of the head.

The other girl frowned before smiling at Peyton. "I'm Yuzu, and this is my sister Karin."

"Peyton," she replied, smiling back. Before much else could be said, Mr. Kurosaki suddenly flung the door open, rubbing the side of his face as Ichigo trudged in behind him. "You're improving, son! Soon, I'll have to up my efforts!" he informed him before practically prancing around Peyton. "SO! Why's this lovely young lady gracing our presence?"

Both teens sweatdropped, and Karin's temple throbbed. "Either way, I doubt she'll be back after that..."

Ichigo sighed exasperatedly. "Just common courtesy, dad, she was attacked around the corner over there."

Karin looked at the two skeptically. "...Attacked? By _what_?"

"Uh...gangsters."

"Yeah, the scary kind," Peyton added lamely, glancing at her leg. The other three did the same. "She could've _drawn_ that or something. I wouldn't put it past her, everyone knows how determined Yankees are," Karin muttered to herself, making Ichigo sigh and shake his head while Peyton's temple throbbed at yet ANOTHER gangbanger joke.

"A_ normal _sibling, that's _all_ I want for Christmas..." Ichigo muttered.

Yuzu seemed to buy it. "Wow! Is it true then, that you're a former gangbanger?"

"No no no! They just don't like redheads, I guess," she said quickly with a nervous laugh.

Karin nodded. "Uh-_huh_." She seemed somewhat impressed, though.

"You don't mind if she sleeps in one of your rooms, do you?"

"She can sleep in mine!" Yuzu offered cheerfully.

"See? No problems."

"You look like you could use a hot shower," Yuzu informed her, making Peyton's temple throb since she'd just taken one no more than an hour ago. Ichgo snickered, and she shot him a glare. "Not a word."

Mr. Kurosaki drooped as everyone moved on to do separate things; Yuzu went to start the water for her shower, Karin went to finish her homework, and Peyton followed Ichigo upstairs despite his protests.

"...Yes, of course she can stay!"

* * *

Peyton took in his room, then sighed and shook her head. "Guys' rooms are so boring. Always the same colors."

Ichigo rolled his eyes, not even bothering to point out SHE was the one who brought it upon herself to follow him in there. "Well, I didn't know you had so much _experience_ with guys' rooms."

She shot him a glare. "...I have an older brother."

"...Oh."

"Dumbass." Then she smirked. "Well, what about you? Your dad didn't seem to like the idea of me staying too much. Have much experience with girls being in your room, do you?"

"N-No! My dad's a bit of a...well, an idiot. And a pervert," he explained thoughtfully, flushing slightly.

"Oh, come on now. He seems alright," she replied, shuddering at his closet. Like her own, it was one of the usual Japanese closets with the sliding doors. Ever since seeing Ju-On, which was much scarier than the American Grudge movies, the sight of Japanese closets made her immediately assume there was a ghost waiting to grab her and seriously fuck up her day.

"That's 'cause you don't _live _with him."

Peyton shrugged. "Maybe. But _I _for one _like _your family," she informed him.

"Well, _now _I can breathe easy," he muttered sarcastically.

"Oh, in _that_ case, you're so welcome!"

"Yeah, I fashioned them _just _for you."

"Aw, Ichigo, you shouldn't have! Honestly, I'm flattered."

She laughed as his temple started throbbing. "Oh, come on, do you _ever_ play along when someone's being random?"

"You're not being random, you're being an annoying dumbass. There's a difference."

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"Nuh-_uh_!"

"Uh-_huh_!"

"_No there is not_, Ichigo Kurosaki!"

"..."

"..."

"Yes there is," he stated simply.

"NO THERE ISN'T!" she shouted, making his spiky orange hair blow back and off his face. He threw a pencil at her in annoyance, to which she threw a pillow back.

"Ow! That was my eye!" She stuck her tongue out at him, and he threw the pillow back at her.

"Dumbass," he muttered, "throwing a pillow at people."

Choosing to ignore that, she simply smirked at him. "Oh, how kind. I_ was _tired, thanks for asking," she said cheerfully, kicking her shoes off and tucking the pillow under her head.

"Hey, wait, you can't sleep in here!" he protested.

"Why not? You're not gonna _try_ anything, are you?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

"What the- _hell_ no!"

"Well then there's nothing to worry about,_ is _there?" she replied, wiggling her toes at him mockingly.

He sighed in exasperation and attempted to pry her off the bed, but she held on to the edge defiantly. "Will you get_ off _my-"

"Stop, that tickles!" she yelled between laughs.

He smirked to himself. "Heh. That's what she said." She promptly kicked him.

"Ow!"

"Serves you right!"

Ichigo sighed and went to open his door. "Is her freaking shower _ready_ yet?"

As he opened the door, Mr. Kurosaki and Yuzu fell inside, glass cups in hand.

Peyton and Ichigo sweatdropped, while Karin sighed. "I told you. Idiots."

"Just testing your door for termites," Yuzu said innocently with a nervous chuckle, while his dad was too busy muttering things like:

"Oh, Masaki! What should I do? He's all grown up!" And, "I take it back, I _don't_ want grandkids this Christmas!"

Ichigo turned bright red.

"Like a strawberry," she observed to herself with a chuckle as she skipped down the hall with Karin, who just watched and snickered as Ichigo yelled at his other sister and dad.

"This is gonna get interesting."

"GODDAMMIT, DAD, DO YOU HAVE TO DO THAT WITH EVERY GIRL THAT STOPS BY? YOU NEARLY MADE ORIHIME FAINT, SHE TURNED SO RED LAST TIME!"

"I'M SORRY THAT I WANT GRANDCHILDREN, SON, OKAY?"

* * *

When she was done and had borrowed Karin's pajamas (she was apparently the baggier-shirt-wearing girl out of the two), Yuzu was waiting eagerly at the foot of the stairs.

"Are you hungry, Peyton? I just finished dinner!"

Ichigo popped up out of nowhere. "Oh, whoops, we already a-"

Peyton cut him off by elbowing him in the gut, and he let out a groan. "OW!"

"Starving," Peyton replied with a nervous chuckle.

"But-"

"ICHIGO!"

* * *

**FIVE MINUTES LATER...**

Mr. Kurosaki practically had kittens as she plopped down into an empty seat beside Karin cheerfully. "Oh, Peyton's joining us!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes as he flopped down into his seat, defeated and sore.

Yuzu gave her a heaping plateful of onigiri and some fish. She soon noticed that almost everyone was watching her intently for her reaction. She swallowed and grinned. "Better than mine, Yuzu."

"Oh, I'm glad!" she practically squealed.

"Score," Ichigo muttered sarcastically to himself, making Peyton kick him under the table. "Ow!"

Thank God for Karin. Just before Yuzu or Mr. Kurosaki ("Please, call me Isshin!") could ask her some strange Ichigo Question, she interrupted by saying, "I learned something interesting today."

Everybody but Peyton nearly dropped their food. "She almost _never_ says anything like that," Yuzu whispered.

Peyton shrugged. "So, what was it?" And off it went.

_Thank thee for saving my ass!_

After dinner was over, Yuzu proceeded to show her every single item in her room (which was actually an interesting tour), then Karin casually showed hers off while pretending not to enjoy Peyton's comments on its awesomeness.

"But not more awesome than_ mine_, right?"

"They're the _same _amount of awesome: The Ultimate Level of Awesomeness," Peyton announced solemnly.

Ichigo, who "happened to be passing by" (Eavesdropping. Totally busted.), scoffed. "Please."

Peyton gave him a look. "Oh, here, I'll show you!"

* * *

**_THREE MINUTES LATER_..**

"Okay! Here, at the bottom, are the plastics - because no one likes people harder to bend and more flammable than your average human being, right? Then we have the _wannabe_ plastics and rockers that only listen to Metallica. Then, there's the nerds and geeks, followed by the slightly higher dorks."

Ichigo raised his hand. "How come the dorks are slightly awesomer?"

"Well, wouldn't you rather be a dork than a nerd or geek?"

"Hmm...good point. Carry on."

"What next?" Yuzu asked, absorbed.

Peyton cleared her throat. "Okay, then there's that whistling kid, umm...yeah! Keigo! And then there's Ichigo. Then there's sushi. And then my brother and sister. And Rukia, Orihime, and Tatsuki. Followed by Chuck Norris. And, finally, Karin and Yuzu, names in no particular order! See? Right there in bold green marker!"

Ichigo sweatdropped. "I got beat by..._sushi_."

"_Nooo_, you got beat by sushi, my brother and sister, Rukia, Orihimi, Tatsuki, Chuck Norris, _and_ your sisters. See?"

"Yeah, I got that. _Why_ did I listen to this again? Rukia's pictures are bad enough as it is," he mumbled gloomily to himself.

Yuzu giggled, and Peyton closed the pointer importantly. "You should_ never _hate _pictures_, Ichigo. They make the world a better place! Anyway. So, you see, you have achieved the Ultimate Level. You've even beat Chuck Norris! Nothing can stop you now!" They suddenly heard a noise of surprise, making them all turn to look.

There in the doorway stood Isshin, drooping rather comically. "Hey! How come _my_ name's not up there?"

The three siblings sweatdropped, sighed, and shook their heads at Isshin's stupidity. Peyton quickly squeezed his name underneath Chuck Norris in bright red while he was distracted with Karin and Yuzu.

"No, look, see? Isshin Kurosaki, right there. You just couldn't see it before because Chuck Norris's name was distracting you, is all!"

Isshin grinned and nodded in approval. "Oh, that makes sense. Ha! I beat you, son! She even wrote mine in my favorite color!"

Ichigo's temple throbbed. "Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Just go downstairs."

"Okay. But you don't control me, I just _wanted_ to go downstairs!" He shouted over his shoulder. Karin and Ichigo exchanged a look.

"Idiot."

* * *

Soon, it was the youngers' bedtimes, so Peyton followed Yuzu after saying goodnight to Karin.

"Goodnight, Peyton," Yuzu called out from her bed.

"'Night Yuzu," she replied as she climbed into her pallet on the floor.

A few minutes passed.

"Night, Peyton."

"...Night..."

Without warning, Yuzu flipped over to look at her, making Peyton jump.

"Hey Peyton?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are you _really_ staying the night?" she asked, smiling giddily. "Are you and Ichigo sneaking _out _later?"

"Um...no...why would I sneak out with _him_?"

"Well, why _else_ would you be here?"

"Because he told me I was coming here. And _dragged _me over here," Peyton said honestly.

Yuzu made a face. "And you _listened_?"

"No. I was_ dragged_, remember? He wanted to make sure they didn't try and kill me again."

"That's even _more_ romantic! You must be _so_ grateful!"

Peyton sighed. "Yes, sure, that's it. That's _exactly_ why I'm here, Yuzu."

"I knew it!"

"Yep, you caught me. Can you please go to sleep now?"

Yuzu sighed in disappointment, but it was interrupted with a yawn_. "Fiiiinee..." _

She was snoring peacefully in under five minutes.

* * *

Peyton desperately wanted to go to sleep, but she couldn't. That noise was making her head hurt. No, scratch that, it made her shiver, too. It was so haunting.

So she waited until everyone else seemed to be snoring too, then crept out through Yuzu's window. Peyton jumped down from the roof and quickly regained balance. She glanced around in all directions, but couldn't seem to find anything that could make such a noise. She checked all around the house and was about to cross the quiet street when a hand pulled her back from behind.

"What the FU-"

Ichigo covered her mouth. "Will you shut the hell up? You're gonna wake up the whole neighborhood! What the hell are you doing out here?"

"Phwell, phi phwas twryin ro-"

"Wait, what?"

Peyton sighed impatiently and yanked his hand off her mouth. "I SAID, I was trying to go to sleep, but that howling noise kept distracting me!"

"You idiot, those are the Hollows! You know, trying to_ hunt _you?"

"Well, how was_ I _supposed to know?"

"Common sense, maybe?" he suggested before mimicking her voice. "Ooooh, I hear some ominous howling in the distance! I think I should check it out, even though Ichigo saved me from being _mauled to pieces by a Hollow _today! Errrr, NO, _wrong _answer!" Ichigo hissed, switching back to his normal voice.

They had a stare-off. "...I do_ not _sound like that, thank you _very _much!"

"Arrggh, you're impossible!"

A sudden thought occured to her, and she cocked her head as she stared at him. "Hey, _wait _a minute. How could you know I was out here? I was being all Charlie's Angels!"

Ichigo cleared his throat nervously. "I was, um, watching outside the window."

"Why?" Then it dawned on her, and a slow grin spread across Peyton's face. "You were _waiting_ for someone,_ weren't _you?"

"NO!"

"Oh, please. Why _else_ does one stare out the window this late at night? You don't seem like the angsty type."

Ichigo hesitated, then sighed reluctantly. "Okay, fine! I was waiting for Rukia to get back, IF YOU MUST KNOW."

"Ahhh-HA! Wait, doesn't she live in your closet or something?"

"Occassionally, yeah, but not all the time. But earlier today, she said there were way too many ghosts around Karakura than the norm, so she went to Soul Society to figure it out. She said she would be back tonight, and if not, it was probably something HUGE," he recited grudgingly.

Her guess was that something huge would mean more work, which was a very bad thing considering_ Ichigo's_ occupation. Peyton glanced around and nodded. "Alright, then. We'll wait for her right..._here," _she stated as she sat on the front steps with a tired sigh.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "But then you're a sitting duck for the Hollows. Do you have short-term memory loss or something?"

"What makes you think they can't find me inside your house, you idiot? Besides, they're _going _to find me, it might as well be while you're around to go all ninja on them. Better stop them at the front steps than endanger your family again," she pointed out matter-of-factly.

He opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. "...I guess you're right," he admitted with a sigh as he sat down.

"I tend to be correct sometimes."

"Rarely, I'm sure."

"Will you just shut _up_?"

* * *

_**HOURS**__** LATER...**_

"Peyton? Peyton...Yankee Kid? HELLO?"

Peyton jumped awake with a yelp. "What, what, I'm awake! Is Rukia back?"

Ichigo shook his head. "Nope. But it's about three in the morning. If she was coming back, she would've been here by now. Besides...your head was starting to really get heavy," he muttered as he stood up.

"So you better sneak back in before Yuzu realizes you left."

Peyton stood up and stretched, shivering in Karin's thin PJs. "Yeah, that's true. She was hell-bent on the fact that I was sneaking out with you or something. Karin was right. She_ does _read way too many romance novels..."

Ichigo shuddered. "Yeah right. Like I'd sneak out with you."

Peyton scowled at him. "The same could be said about you, Strawberry." And with that, they stomped off in opposite directions, throwing another scowl over their shoulders for extra measure.

* * *

Though she thought she'd never go to sleep, Peyton was passed out within minutes of sliding back underneath her covers. Yuzu hadn't even budged. She was right in the middle of a strange and psychadelic dream when someone shook her gently. "Peyton, wake up! ...Peyton?"

She shot straight up. "PRESENT! ...Wait, what?"

Yuzu giggled. "It's ten in the morning!"

"So? It's Saturday, I usually sleep 'till about noon," Peyton whined.

She giggled again. "Yeah, but I'm making pancakes! And you and Karin get to _attempt _to wake Ichigo up so he can help me!" Peyton sighed and jumped out of the pallet, making it up out of courtesy before trudging over to Karin's room.

Karin was already out in the hall waiting for her. "Guess what? Since you're the guest,_ you _get to try and wake him up. Though I should warn you, he sometimes thinks it's part of the dream, so if he swings his arm, watch out. He's got a nasty right hook. Good luck!" She finished cheerfully, making Peyton sweatdrop.

"...Thanks."

Then she sighed and shrugged. "Come on, Peyton. How hard could it be?" She muttered to herself. Pretty goddamn _hard_, actually.

First, she tried making his alarm clock go on and off. Then she tried pulling him out of the bed by his ankles, to which she got the best response: an extra snore. Finally, she had a genius moment and poked her head outside his door.

"Karin? Get me some shaving cream, would you?"

* * *

Karin watched from the safety of the door while Peyton stood on the edge of his windowsill precariously, applying the shaving cream to his open hand. "Okay, Karin. Now I want you to_ carefully _toss me the fog horn!"

Karin tossed it, but it fell a little short and hit Ichigo in the head, while Peyton, who had tried to grab it, fell on top of him with an "Oof!"

He jolted awake at the same time Peyton grabbed the fog horn by the wrong end and blasted them both in the face, making them both flail around spastically and yell out, "MY EARS!"

"What the hell?" Ichigo demanded, temple throbbing majorly.

Peyton sighed exasperatedly. "I'm tangled up in the sheets! Would you please stop gawking and help me?"

"Okay, hold still-"

"No, not there, I'm EXTREMELY- hahahahaha!"

"Ow!"

"...Ticklish," she finished with a random giggle.

"That was my _face _you just kicked!"

"That was my _side _you just tickled!" Then she burst into laughter again. Karin watched on, more sweatdrops appearing by the second.

"Okay, how about this! You move left, and I move right!" she suddenly suggested, having abruptly stopped laughing.

Ichigo nodded. "Okay, on the count of three!"

"One!"

"Two!"

"Three!" they said at the same time before jerking their separate ways, but they just ended up bumping heads.

"Oww...Wait, I know what we did! Okay, Ichigo, you move left, and _I'll_ move left!"

"Okay!"

"One, two, three! Hey, look, I can see my ankle now!" She waved it in the air for extra measure, grinning triumphantly.

Ichigo groaned. "This is getting us _nowhere_!"

Peyton fell back against the mattress in annoyance, blowing some stray hair out of her face. "You make me tired."

"Hey, what the hell are you doing?"

"Dozing."

"No!"

"Hey, you have to make pancakes, by the way."

"Oh, yeah, I'll just waltz right over there while we're both still tangled. On the way I'll say hi to Chuck Norris."

"You do that, and tell him hi for me too, would ya?" she replied with a yawn.

He groaned in frustration. "Hey, smartass, you're not helping!"

"YOU started the stream of smartassery, smartass!"

"...I'm going back to sleep."

"Ah, that's a good idea," she muttered, turning over on her side.

"OH NO YOU'RE NOT!" Isshin yelled out of nowhere, making them both jump and sit up. He and Yuzu looked like they didn't know what to make of them, while Karin couldn't breathe she was laughing so hard.

"Ichigo, what did you _do_?"

"Why do you automatically assume it was _me_?"

"Peyton, are you okay?" Isshin and Yuzu asked, dramatic tears of concern in their eyes.

Ichigo sweatdropped. "What the- I'M YOUR FLESH AND BLOOD!"

"HA! They like me more than you," Peyton teased in a sing-song voice, totally unbothered by their situation.

"That's not really an amazing feat," Karin muttered.

"Shut up Karin!"

"Hey, don't talk to her like that!"

"You tell him, Peyton!" Isshin and Yuzu yelled from the sidelines, which just made Karin roll her eyes.

Ichigo sighed and shook his head. "A normal family, is that too much to ask?"

"Ichigo, how could you say that!" Yuzu wailed, making Peyton give him a glare.

"Watch what you say, you big dope!"

Ichigo sighed and rubbed his temples. "This is so not cool." Then he seemed to have a lightbulb moment and yanked a corner of the sheets, making Peyton spiral out of them and fall on the floor with an "Oof!".

"Hey! That _really_ hurt my ass, you jerk!"

"Well, problem solved. I'm going back to bed."

"Ohhhh _no_ you're not! I did NOT do all that for nothing!" Peyton shouted before standing up, shoving up the sleeves of her borrowed shirt, and marching determinedly to his bed, yanking him up by the arm and dragging him out and down the stairs.

The others watched on with wide eyes. Finally, Isshin grinned happily. "I_ like_ _her_, son!" he called down the stairs.

"SHUT UP, DAD!"

* * *

_**THIRTY ****MINUTES ****LATER**_**...**

"These are delicious!"

Ichigo sighed tiredly, covered in flour, while Peyton beamed proudly. "Good!"

Karin smirked. "So who _really_ made them?"

"Yuzu," they muttered in defeat.

"And you both took the credit? How devious!" Isshin exclaimed.

They pointed at Yuzu defiantly. "She told us to!" they exclaimed, a slight whine in their voices. The other two looked at Yuzu, who nodded.

"Neither of them can even measure correctly! If I'd really let them cook..." she trailed off with a shudder, and Peyton nodded solemnly.

"Yeah. I cause a kitchen fire and food poisoning the last time I cooked."

They all turned to look at her with huge sweatdrops, and she shrugged. "What? It's true."

Ichigo frowned to himself. "Somehow, I could see myself doing that if I cooked...Seriously, could they make cooking any more confusing? So many fractions..."

Karin made a face. "That would explain why Yuzu is so protective over the measuring cups."

"AND it would explain his math grade!" Yuzu chimed in cheerfully.

She stuck around for a few more hours before announcing that sadly, she had to go home. "Will you come back over again?" Yuzu asked eagerly.

Peyton shrugged. "Sure. That's up to Ichigo, I guess."

The other three looked at each other before bursting into laughter. "Ha! You think it's _his_ decision? So cute!" Isshin wheezed.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "I'm gonna walk her home."

"Awwww!"

"Shut up Yuzu!" he yelled behind them, while Peyton sighed in annoyance.

* * *

"So, do you think they're still interested in me? I mean, couldn't they have found something better?" she asked suddenly, yawning and running a hand through her tangled and knotted bed-hair.

Ichigo shrugged. "I'm not a Hollow expert." He winced as he said it, making her cock her head at him. _Hmm. I'll be sure to bring that up again later. _

"Why is it so bad that there are more ghosts than usual around Karakura?"

"Because the last time something like this happened, it almost destroyed Karakura and some of the Soul Society."

Peyton nodded slowly. "...Oh. That _does_ sound potentially problematic._ How_, though? What did the ghosts have to do with anything?"

Ichigo sighed. "You ask _way_ too many questions, you know that?"

She shrugged. "You stall too much, and you're not very good at it," she remarked, making his temple throb.

"...Point taken. ...Basically, it was because it drew the two worlds closer, and they would've basically melded together, destroying a little part of both."

Peyton scratched her head in confusion. "How could they meld together?"

"The shininju," he muttered quietly.

"...Come again?"

"I'm not really sure what she was. But they called her the shininju, the Memory Rosary."

Peyton raised her eyebrows. "_She_?"

"Oh, look at that, we're here!" Ichigo practically yelled. "Well, see ya around." Peyton gave him a suspicious look. "...Right. _Don't_ think I'm gonna drop this, Kurosaki."


	4. Whatcha Say

**'ELLO EVERYONE!**

**Ichigo: cheerful much?**

**Me: little bit, yes. ANYWAY. This is more like a filler because:**

**a) i couldnt fit all of it in one nice and short chapter for yall**

**b) fillers arent always bad, they give you something to read until-**

**Ichigo: until you get off your lazy ass and type again?**

**Me: ...NO.**

**and c) ...well, there isn't a C. Except that it's my story. So NEH.**

**LYRICS OF THE CHAPTER: "Oooh, whatcha say? Oh, that you only meant well. Well, of course you did."**

**EDIT: Me: (looks at author's note) ...What is this, I don't even...**

**Ichigo: How is this a filler, Mandy?**

**Me: I wrote that author's note over a year ago, leave me alone! ...I still go by those lyrics, though. I like it. **

* * *

Come Monday, Rukia was back, and Ichigo looked like a scorned puppy. Peyton eyed the two suspiciously during lunch period, having followed them onto the roof. "Uh...do I _want_ to know what he did?"

Rukia shot him an annoyed glare. "You _weren't_ supposed to _know_. _Was she_, Ichigo?"

"Noooo..."

Peyton gave her a weird look. "What, about the, uh...Soul Reapers?" she asked, whispering at the end. Rukia nodded angrily, and Peyton laughed.

"Oh! Well, I had already figured something really freaky was going on! He's actually pretty lucky I believed him, or I would've kicked his perverted _ass_!"

Ichigo made a face. "I don't doubt it. Did you see what she did to those poor skaters last week? ...Kinda reminded me of myself, actually..."

They both shuddered at the thought of them being alike, and then Peyton groaned. "You saw that? You saw me talking to ghost kid?"

"Yup," Rukia answered, cheered up by her embarrassment.

Peyton sighed and shook her head. "And I thought I was _so_ good at keeping the whole psychic thing a secret!"

Rukia waved her off. "Oh, don't worry. If anyone else had seen it, they'd just think you were talking to yourself!"

Peyton sweatdropped. "Oh, well _that's_ a relief."

Ichigo smirked, let off the hook. Rukia furrowed her brows. "Wait, did you call Ichigo _perverted_?" His face fell as Peyton smirked at the thought of revenge.

"Oh, _yeah_. I was taking a shower, minding my own innocent business, when him and his stupid teddy bear thang popped in my bathroom!"

Rukia gasped, even ignoring her accent slipping when she said "thang". "ICHIGO!"

"RUKIA, HONESTLY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO!"

Peyton and the rest of the roof dwellers winced with every blow. "Dang. She sure is angry. Um, sorry Ichigo!" she called out with an awkward laugh.

"You're gonna pay for this, Peyton!"

"DON'T YOU TAKE THIS OUT ON HER! PERVERT!"

"I'M _NOT_ A PERVERT!"

"DON'T ARGUE WITH ME!"

..._Ouch. That's gonna leave some marks..._ Peyton shrugged. "Oh well. He had it comin'."

* * *

The next day, as soon as she got to homeroom, she busted out laughing at Ichigo. He sighed as she held her stomach with one hand and the edge of a desk with the other, laughing so hard she wasn't making any noise. "It's not that funny, really!" he protested, temple throbbing.

"Your eye...looks...like a prune! HOW IS THAT NOT FUNNY?" she wheezed. "I thought they only did that in _cartoons_!"

Rukia sweatdropped. "I laughed too, but honestly. Can you even _try_ to stop?" Peyton shook her head, gasping for air before finally giving one last giggle. "You done?"

"For now!"

She giggled randomly. "Sorry. I had some chocolate milk for breakfast."

* * *

"So, out of curiousity...what did they say over in the other world? About the extra ghosts."

Rukia shot Ichigo a glare before explaining. "They're not sure what to make of it. Such an increase hasn't happened in well over fifty years. Well, of this type. We had an incident a while back, but...it was different," she explained carefully.

Peyton shot a sideways glance at Ichigo, who was currently kicking a random pinecone with extreme interest. "What kind of incident?" Rukia cleared her throat anxiously. "Oh, it was nothing, really." A brief awkward silence followed. _Hmm. So no one wants to share it with the newbie. Proves my theory..._

Ichigo suddenly scowled at her, snapping her out of her thoughts. "The hell're you staring at me like that for?"

She blinked, flushing a little. She hadn't realized she'd been looking at him, but luckily she recovered with a scowl of her own. "Don't flatter yourself, Kurosaki, I was zoning out."

"Uh-huh. That's your story, eh?"

"IT'S THE TRUTH, GODDAMMIT!"

* * *

"Finally, you're home!" Lindsay called out a little too cheerfully.

Peyton eyed her suspiciously. "...Is it somebody's birthday?" She glanced around spastically for a calendar. "I know it's not yours...is it mine? Did I forget again?" Lindsay laughed. "It's not anyone's birthday! We have a _guest_."

"...Guest?"

Peyton peeked into the living room. She saw her brother, her dad...and hair tied up with a red ribbon. She slinked into the living room. "I was informed we have a guest?"

Dad smiled anxiously. "Oh, good, you're home. Finally."

She sweatdropped. "That seems to be a common phrase around here, I usually get home around this time..." Granted she was only late when she and Ichigo got into verbal fights, which usually led to physical fighting, but that happened nearly every day, so...

The woman grinned and held out her hand. "Hey there. You must be his middle child. I'm Miya."

**A/N****: Ha. Bet you guys thought it was Senna!**

Peyton hesitantly shook it, taking her in. She looked only a little older than Lindsay, to be honest. Her shiny black hair trailed down to stop at her waist as she stood up and fixed her ribbon. Her bright blue eyes were practically fricking _glowing_, she was so happy.

"...Er, I'm Peyton," she said suddenly, flushing a little after realizing she'd been staring.

Dad cleared his throat. "Miya's a co-worker. And a very good friend of mine."

Both Seth and Peyton snorted at that line. "Please, dad." _Now we know why he's been coming home so late nowadays! ...Jeez, I thought she was a foreign exchange student or something..._

So Miya stayed for dinner, and they all had a very interesting and hilarious conversation from what Peyton could gather. She was too busy picking at her food. Lindsay had made it, of course: onigiri and fish.

She suddenly laughed out loud as she realized that minus the sleeping-over part, this was almost like her night at the Kurosakis'. This caused everyone to turn and look at her, and she cleared her throat nervously and went back to picking at the fish.

Later, Peyton offered to wash dishes as everyone else went to watch television with Dad and Miya. She thought about this Memory Rosary girl, wondering who -or what- she was. Was, is? No, definitely was. Otherwise they wouldn't so neatly sideskirt the subject, especially Rukia. And why did she feel so determined to know?

After a few hours of washing a grand total of five dishes and utensils at least eighty times, Miya was saying goodbye. She went to show her out like a good girl, but to her surprise, Miya hugged her. Peyton patted her back awkwardly, and Miya pulled away, grinning from ear to ear. "I can't wait to see you all again. Goodnight!"

As dad went outside to walk her to her car (which made Peyton wonder why she hadn't noticed the extra car in the driveway when she'd first gotten home), she felt sick to her stomach. _Was it the food? Nope, most definitely rage, nice try, Peyton. I have to ask him. I have to. As soon as he comes back, I'm asking._

"Wasn't she great?" Dad asked, with more than a little hint of excitement in his voice as he joined them on the couch. Peyton was situated between Seth and Lindsay, seething.

"Awesome!"

"She's hot enough."

"Sure."

"I'm glad you like her, guys. You're going to be seeing a lot more of her-"

"Dad?"

"Hold on, Peyton. You'll be seeing a lot more of her beca-"

"Dad!"

"Jeez, P, let the man finish!"

"Shut up Seth!"

"Thank you, son. Now, as I was saying-"

"DAD!"

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?"

Lindsay and Seth looked between the two, from dad's exasperated expression to Peyton's position on the couch: arms folded over her chest, pale, and a look on her face that could kill.

"Why does she have a bright, sparkly ring on a very important finger?" she asked, each word sharp and precise.

Dad sighed heavily. "That's what I was trying to tell you. I asked her to marry me last week."

"YES!"

"I HAVE A HOT STEP-MOM!"

Peyton blinked, almost as if she hadn't known the answer before she'd even asked the question. Which, of course, she had. "...Oh. Congrats, dad."

He smiled at them. "She's moving in next week."

"Have you set a date?" Lindsay asked excitedly.

"Not yet, but we were thinking around March or April."

"A spring wedding!" Lindsay exclaimed, nearly swooning at the romantic-ness. Peyton about gagged.

Seth had a scowl on his face. "She doesn't happen to have any hot friends, does she?"

"Either way, they're too old for ya, son."

"How? She could be my sister," Peyton muttered to herself. Luckily no one heard her, so she stayed a little longer before waiting for them to be occupied with the tv. She then went upstairs and resumed her role as Seething Younger Sister Who Hates Her Family's Guts For Moving Her Here, complete with slamming a book onto her desk and pretending to be extremely absorbed with its contents as she continued to mope .

A week later, Miya came to stay. A few weeks after that, things were almost normal. Except for Peyton. More and more spirits were begging for her help, leaving her exhausted and cranky when she wasn't solving their problems.

See, THIS was why she could never be a therapist. Quite honestly, if she heard one more spirit's sob story, she was going to gouge her eardrums out with a spork.

"...And I had to wake you up four times today!" Rukia finished, making Peyton sigh tiredly.

"I'm sorry, okay? I just...I'm just tired."

"It wouldn't have anything to do with an extra car in your driveway, would it?" Ichigo asked sneakily.

Peyton shot him a glare so intense that he winced. "I'm. Just. _Tired_. Okay?" She pretended not to see the look they exchanged between each other that clearly read: "Should we stage an intervention now, or later?"

* * *

Almost three months since Peyton's family moved, she noticed with dismay the leaves were changing. It was that time again. Realizing this made her even more tired. Before that Wednesday afternoon, Peyton had never seen Ichigo go all Soul-Reaper. Not clearly. Until, that is, they were walking home.

Rukia had left for the Soul Society at the request of some of the captains, which basically meant Ichigo and Peyton could have as many stupid fights as they wanted.

"What, can no one look at a leaf anymore, Ichigo?"

"It's not _what_ you were looking at, it was the _way_ you were looking at it!"

"...That sounds like something a _girl _would say," she pointed out dully.

"But still! You've been all depressed, too, so...What the hell's _wrong _with you?" he demanded to know, narrowing his eyes slightly as he stared at her.

Peyton sighed in annoyance. "NOTHING!" She yelled it out so loud that some random birds on a wire flew off in a frenzy. They watched them go with wide eyes and sweatdrops.

"...Uh-huh. Nothing at all, Peyton."

Peyton sighed again. "Well, fine, if you_ must_ know-" Before she could finish her sentence, a giant Hollow ran her down. They apparently had a nasty habit of doing that. "Godammit, how come I can never see them coming?" she exclaimed, wincing as she realized that her fall had hurt like hell. She struggled to get up as it slashed at Ichigo; she was pinned by a heavy branch it had knocked down when it attacked her.

Eventually she got it off and slid away from it, standing up. There he was, his body laying awkwardly by the ground, and his Soul Reaper self battling the Hollow. She suddenly felt an instinct cross her mind - she needed to move his body, and fast.

Peyton did so without question, and made a small yelping noise as the Hollow crushed the spot Ichigo's body had been lying just seconds ago. And this all took place right around the corner from Peyton's house. After defeating the Hollow with relative ease that made Peyton realize just how helpless she really _was_ whenever he wasn't around, Ichigo slipped right back into his human body, bruised and with a slight scratch by his wrist.

"Thanks for keeping my body safe."

Peyton glanced at the place where the Hollow had been. "No problem. Just keep that thing_ away_ from me!" she declared, making a weird face.

Right as they started laughing, Ichigo stopped and scratched his head at something behind her. "What the hell is that guy doing?"

"What guy?"

He pointed behind her. "That one right there, he's running right-"

_**BAM!**_

"Oh crap! Seth, get off him!" She yanked him off before he could land a good punch. "What the hell's your problem, bro?"

"What do you mean? You're _defending _this pervert?"

Peyton and Ichigo glanced at each other. What with Ichigo's bruises and bewildered expression, and Peyton's dissheveled clothes, not to mention her yelling "Keep that thing _away _from me!"...

"Ohhhhh. No, Seth, it's nothing like that! It was an, um, a raccoon! Yes, a raccoon. I wasn't...er, assaulted!" _...Goddamn pervert_, she thought moodily with an eye-twitch.

He eyed them both. "Huh. That explains all the scratches on you guys. C'mon Peyton, let's go home. Miya's cooking again...Sorry about that, dude."

Ichigo waved him off. "Eh, no problem. Who's _Miya_, exactly?"

"What, Peyton didn't tell you? She's our-" Peyton stomped on his foot. "OW!"

"Miya's no one. C'mon Seth, let's go home."

"...Uh-huh. Don't think I'm _dropping this_, Cullen!" Ichigo shouted after them.

Peyton turned around and stuck her tongue out at him before stomping away with a confused Seth. "The hell was that about, P?"

"Noooo-thing," she replied innocently.


	5. When You're Gone

**You know the drill, DON'T OWN! **

**Lyrics of the chapter: I always needed time on my own...And I never thought I'd need you there when I cried...**

* * *

Peyton drew in a breath as she realized she only had four days left. Four days until the world stopped again. She knew because she had circled it in black Sharpie on her calendar-_ yes_, she kept a calendar, what of it?

Rukia was back and could almost immediately sense her mood in homeroom. "Peyton...are you alright?"

She smiled as convincingly as possible and nodded. "Yeah. Fine."

Tatsuki looked skeptical. "You look like you ate a few bites of Orihime's lunch, dude."

Orihime's head shot up at this. "What?" she exclaimed defensively. "My lunch is _delectable_, thank you very much: Canadian bacon with ketchup and rice on some toasted bread, with a side of pickled eggs and some jelly beans! ...Oh, and some pineapple orange juie."

They all sweatdropped. "...I rest my case."

Peyton sweatdropped again. "Do you honestly think I'm stupid enough to try _that_? U-Uhhh, no offense, Orihime!" she added quickly at Orihime's expression.

Later, during lunch period, Peyton was stabbing the straw into Rukia's juice- _again_- when Ichigo popped up out of nowhere. "Poor straw...So who's Miya?"

She jumped, and Rukia sipped her juice in interest. "...No one."

Everyone within hearing distance was soon following their argument like a ping-pong match.

"Then how come Seth was shocked you didn't tell me yet?"

"I dunno, it's SETH!"

"Would you just TELL ME already?"

"Why should I? And why do _you_ care, anyway? Must you know EV-erything about me, Strawberry Shortcake?"

Renji snickered. "Nice one."

Ichigo shot Renji a quick glare before attempting to stare Peyton down. He wordlessly measured the distance between their heights, then nodded. "Almost six inches. Need I go on?"

**_BAM! THWACK!_ **

"Good God, woman! WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU?"

"I SHRUNK TWO INCHES, THANKS FOR _REMINDING_ ME, JACKASS!"

"SO YOU KICKED ME IN THE SHIN AND SLAPPED ME?"

"WANT SOME MORE?"

"N-NO!"

Rukia and Uryu nodded in agreement. "Score: Ichigo- 14, Peyton- 17." Everyone else was laughing, some were shrugging since this was a regular occurance. They all quickly turned to "Oooohh!"'s as they realized the vice principal had been standing there the whole time.

"Cullen, Kurosaki: in my office. NOW. And Ishihackaloogie, wipe that smug look off your face unless you want a week's worth of detention."

Ichigo and Peyton exchanged a snicker at Ishida's face. "...My name is Uryu Ishida."

He waved off the notion. "Whatever."

* * *

After a good five minutes of being chewed out, and the rest of the day banging erasers together, they stomped out of school. Rukia was loyally waiting for them, but they were too busy arguing to pay attention.

"How's it all my fault?"

"You ALWAYS pick on people being shorter than you, myself included! Did you ever think about your possible relation to the Jolly Green Giant, Strawberry Shortcake?"

"I dunno, did you ever think about attending Anger Management, you goddamn midget?"

"Why, you little-"

"HA! Me! _Little_! That's funny. Besides, it was you asking him what he was doing on the roof in the_ first place _that set him _off_!"

"Uh, NOOOO, it was you ticking _me _off, 'cause it made me _injure_ you, dumbass!"

"Oh, so now even your_ bodily functions_ are my fault too?"

"...N-Nobody mentioned FARTING, Ichigo!"

"ENOUGH!" They gulped at her tone and slowly looked at Rukia. An evil aura surrounded her small frame, and she was staring at them rather ominously.

"I've about had enough of you two constantly biting each other's heads off! Usually it's funny...in an idiotic sort of way...but now it's just_ idiotic_! You leave me with no other choice. As of now, in order to properly control your anger, you are to both start keeping...diaries."

"WHAT THE _FU_-" They shouted at the same time, and a random truck honked its horn at the perfect moment.

"YOU HEARD ME!"

"But Ruuukiaaa, that's stupid," they whined pathetically, to which she raised her fist suggestively. They immediately shut up.

* * *

**_ENTRY #1:_**

_This sucks. Ooh, I like the ring of that. Lemme say it again: this sucks. This SUCKS. THIS SUCKS THIS SUCKS THIS SUCKS! THIIISSSSS SUUUCCKKKSSS! _

_Okay. Now that that's out of my system. This is all stupid Ichigo's fault. What a GREAT way to kick off a week that sucked before it even began by getting detention for a week, a bruise on my forehead from where Ichigo tripped me on the way out, and NOW I have to write a stupid journal entry at least once a day. _

_Holy crap. Ichigo was right. I ended up taking anger management! This SUCKS ASS. Rukia says she's tired of hearing us fight. Well, it's always HIM that starts it. I don't see why she got pissy at ME, too. Sigh. Stupid Strawberry-Shortcake-Giant. I wish he'd go crawl in a hole and rot._

_...Actually, that's not true. He'd find a way to come back and haunt me. I just know it. _

* * *

**_MY FIRST ENTRY IN MY MANLY JOURNAL OF THINGS OF A MASCULINE NATURE:_**

**The title might be a bit too long. But I AM a guy. I have to defend my manliness, y'know. This is all that stupid midget's fault. You'd think I mean Rukia, but NOOOOO. I mean the OTHER midget, the one that's PURE ANNOYANCE. Rukia's pure evil, she's pure annoyance. There's a difference. **

**Although, I do give her this: thank God she doesn't like Chappy, it makes her somewhat more bearable. Actually, she's scared shitless of Chappy. Something about Lindsay putting her through the most traumatic 5-year-old birthday that Chappy's ever been to. **

**I really don't wanna know. It'd give ME nightmares too. (shudders)**

**But anyway. We always fight, it's like our hobby. Our goddamn TALENT, really! Only this time we got caught by Mr. Panties-in-a-Wad. That's our "Vice President", as Peyton and her fellow Americans call them back across the ocean. **

**If you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, you'd have a perfect diamond in a couple weeks tops. ****Not that I'd recommend going near HIS ass. Us sophomores hire a different freshman dumbass each week to stand post and scout him out. That way, when he lets one rip, we all know when to haul ass downwind. **

**I swear, he could choke a donkey with that "special brand" of his...**

**Y'know, if Peyton hadn't moved here, I'd blame it on being American. But now I don't think that's true, for three main reasons:**

**1. I've never heard Peyton fart. EVER. Burp, yes, fart, no.**

**2. If I DID happen to blame it on his American-ness, Peyton would kill me.**

**3. If I ever commented on her farting, she'd clone me and kill me again. **

**Speaking of farting, sometimes I seriously wonder if girls ever even fart. I have yet to hear one do it...**

**And speaking of American, I really quite honestly and truly think Panty-Wad simply has personal problems that have nothing to do with being American. I mean, he has the hugest "Redneck accent," as Midget Annoyance calls it. She's from Tennessee, the most redneck place in America, yet her accent isn't HALF as bad! **

**Although, I DO have to give him credit for calling Quincy "Ishihackaloogie". **

**Banging erasers with Peyton for two hours? -76 points of energy.**

**Keeping this diary because of Peyton being so fucking hostile? -97 points of manliness.**

**The look on Quincy's face at his new nickname? PRICELESS.**

* * *

The minute she hid her diary, Seth burst through the door, and she gave him her "Privacy" glare. He rolled his eyes. "What are you, twelve? Anyway, Lindsay said you're wanted in the driveway."

Peyton furrowed her brows. "How come she didn't just tell me herself?"

Seth neatly sidestepped the question and pointed towards her bedroom door. "Go. Now. Before she makes you suffer."

When she went outside, she gulped and turned on her heel to get the hell out of dodge, but Seth blocked her way in amusement. Lindsay was holding rope and duct tape, giving her a menacing look.

"We're going to go with Miya to pick out a wedding dress. You're coming, I'm coming, Miya's coming. It'll be perfect time for us to get to know her better, and for you to stop bitching about this wedding. Nothing else to it. Now, do I need these or not?"

Peyton whined and bit her lip. "But, Lindsaaaaaay..."

* * *

_**TWENTY-THREE MINUTES LATER...**_

By some strange stroke of luck, Peyton ran into Yuzu. "OH THANK GOD! YUZU!" she exclaimed, hopping after her at full speed and causing herself to faceplant. _Goddammit, Linds, thanks for tying me up so damn tight! _Peyton thought miserably as she groaned from her fall.

The look on that poor kid's face as she helped her up made Peyton regret her decision. "Oh my goodness...did the gangsters find you?"

"No no no no, they-"

"WE SHOULD CALL THE POLICE!" Yuzu screeched, making everyone who wasn't already gawking at them to turn a look.

Peyton waved her hands as best she could, shaking her head quickly. "No, really, that's not necessary, just...can I hide at your house for a few hours?" she asked, looking around quickly to make sure Lindsay and Seth weren't running toward them.

* * *

_**TEN MINUTES LATER...**_

Peyton totally understood the expressions on everyone's faces. Isshin looked horrified/amused, Karin looked like she was dangerously close to laughing uncontrollably, and Rukia immediately glared at Ichigo.

"...You pervert!"

"What the hell? I WAS _HERE_ THE WHOLE TIME, MIDGET!"

"DON'T CALL ME MIDGET, WE HAVE A SERIOUS SITUATION HERE!"

"WHAT serious situation? She's tied up by a freaking jump rope and some flimsy duct tape!"

Peyton interrupted them nervously. "Uhhh...let's just say my siblings are very vengeful."

"They ARE American," Karin whispered to Isshin, who nodded slowly.

"This is true." He then almost immediately brightened. "Fine. Stay as long as you like! As if I'd say no!"

He turned to Yuzu as they walked off to help Karin with her homework. "This is tough! I can't tell who our Ichigo's ending up with!"

"My money's on Orihime. She's very..._developed_," Karin commented, making Ichigo and Peyton sweatdrop.

"Since when do you put in YOUR input on my love life?" Ichigo exclaimed.

Peyton and Rukia exchanged a grin. "You're bright red. Like a _strawberry_," Peyton said slyly.

He rolled his eyes and yanked at the end of the rope, making her spin extremely fast and unravel, landing on her butt just like in the cartoons. "Ow! GODDAMMIT, ICHIGO!"

"Oh, get over it."

"YOU get over it!"

"Get over WHAT?"

"I dunno, just GET OVER IT!"

Rukia just sighed and shook her head as the two scowled at each other, growling a little. "That's it. You guys better start writing, before an all-out war breaks out."

"There's no way I'm doing that, it's total bullshit."

"Ichigo, don't make me use that jumprope to tie you to a chair and force you to look at my whole sketchbook full of drawings!" Rukia threatened before turning to a pouting Peyton. "...CHAPPY drawings."

They both paled and exchanged a look that clearly read "Aww shit, she got us there" before letting out an extremely long "AWWWWWW!" and stomping up the stairs, but then Peyton brightened. "WAIT a minute...Ha! I don't _have_-"

Suddenly the door slammed shut, and through the window they saw Rukia flash-stepping for the Cullen house. "...Mine?"

Ichigo stared at her expression, then pointed at her slowly.

"...FAIL."

"SHUT UP!"

* * *

**_ENTRY #2 IN MY MANLY JOURNAL OF THINGS OF A MASCULINE NATURE:_**

**I just saw something I never thought I'd see.**

**I was sitting there, minding my own business, explaining to Evil Midget what Spam was-**

_SPAM? That stuff's like crap in a can, molded into the ever-popular Crap Can Shape for your own viewing pleasure._

**PEYTON, GET OUT OF MY MANLY RAMBLINGS!**

_Heh. Make me. BRING IT ON STRAWBERRY-SHORTCAKE!_

**Ignore the pissy Annoying Midget in the background. She's just mad because Evil Midget went to go get HER required dia- er...JOURNAL. Why is she even here in my personal space, you ask?**

**Well, I dunno. But all of a sudden, Yuzu walks in, and she shows us Peyton like she's her new pet or something. The funniest part was Peyton's face. ****She was tied up by this stupid jump rope, the duct tape was hanging onto her cheek by tiny threads, and she was hopping beside Yuzu, all huffy and being her usual pissy, stupid self.**

_If you MUST know, Lindsay and Seth mutinied and tied me up in my own driveway! Damn them. AND I'M NOT STUPID, GODDAMN YOU!_

**BULLSHIT! ...Wait, Peyton, isn't it their driveway too? **

_Yeah, so?_

**Wait, why am I talking to you via my Manly Journal?**

_Ichigo? There's NO SUCH THING as a manly journal!_

**...This coming from the chick who's currently spinning in my wheelie chair at warp speed, yelling "WHHHEEEE!". Like SHE knows anything. **

**Rukia's here. Let the fun begin.**

* * *

**_ENTRY #2_**

_I just learned that Ichigo thinks he has a "Manly Journal". I think I nearly wet myself, I laughed so damn hard! Hahahahaha. _

_Anyway. I can't believe they freaking tied me up. Not like Miya's wedding dress has anything to do with ME. Shoot, her WEDDING doesn't even have much to do with me! _

_...Well, besides the whole 24-year-old stepmom part. But besides that, nothing else! __What pisses me off the most is that I seem to be the only person who remembers what this Saturday means. Only two days now. Scary. ...And they wonder why I'm acting like a bitch. There, I admit it, I'm being a bitch. But c'mon, I'm getting little sleep and it's almost time to visit her again! And now there's some new chick - much YOUNGER than my dad chick - added into the crazy equation known as my family to make things even more hectic? I. DON'T. NEED. THIS. SHIT._

Peyton didn't write HALF as much as Ichigo. Luckily, Rukia didn't read them. She could tell by their Concentration Faces that they had been seriously jotting stuff down. She nodded with satisfaction. "Rukia, if you don't mind my asking, how the hell are these diaries supposed to do any good?" Peyton asked suddenly, sprawled out on Ichigo's floor as he spun slightly in his wheelie chair.

She loved his wheelie chair; too bad he knocked her out of it earlier when Rukia wasn't looking.

Rukia shrugged. "Think of it as a stress reliever. My brother used to make me do it. ...Besides, it amuses me," she added cheerfully, making their temples throb.

"So. Are you staying here tonight?"

Peyton sighed and stood up, now free of rope and duct tape. "No, I _really_ need to be with my family this week. But thanks."

Rukia looked concerned about something for a split second, and then she had a normal expression again. "Okay, if you're sure. They DID try to kidnap you..." She sighed to Ichigo. "I'll never understand humans."

"Oh, not humans. You'll just never understand Americans."

Peyton elbowed him in the ribs, making him groan. "Ichigo, don't push your luck," Peyton warned tiredly as she went downstairs. "Later, guys."

Ichigo and Peyton exchanged an eye-roll as Mr. Kurosaki and the girls immediately shot up. "You're leaving so soon? Please stay awhile!"

"Sorry, Mr. Kurosaki, I need to get back home before they _really_ kill me."

"Well, in that case...COME BACK SOON!" Isshin and Yuzu yelled after her.

Ichigo and Rukia exchanged a look as they snuck back upstairs. "What was that all about?" Ichigo wondered, rubbing the spot where she'd elbowed him thoughtfully. "She didn't look near as pissed as usual when she elbowed me."

Rukia shrugged, opening his closet with a yawn. "She's been rather distant lately, not to mention cranky. ...Maybe it's lack of sleep?"

"Maybe..."

* * *

_**SATURDAY.**_

Peyton sighed heavily as she slipped on her black flats. It was that time of year again, and now she had no choice but to go back to the grave and accept the fact that she'd been without a mother for another year.

She sighed. "Saturday, October 17. Phew, it didn't take its time getting here, did it?"

Peyton slipped downstairs and out the door unnoticed; she'd already dropped hints for about a week as to what she would be doing today, but no one really caught on. And if they did, they didn't really say anything. Although Lindsay was outside throwing something away in the big trash can by the curb, and she furrowed her brows at her younger sister as she stuffed her iPod's earphones into her ears. "...What's with the black? I didn't even know you _owned_ a skirt besides your school uniform, much less a black one..."

Peyton just rolled her eyes. "Don't worry about it."

"What day's today again?" Lindsay wondered thoughtfully as she walked back inside.

"SATURDAY!" Peyton threw over her shoulder.

"Right, thought so."

Her little sister sighed and shook her head; she supposed this was Lindsay's way of coping with it, to forget entirely, but Peyton wasn't lucky enough to get distracted with a wedding and forget.

Surprisingly, she didn't run into anybody on her way there. When she finally found what she had been looking for, Peyton closed her eyes, deep in thought.

_Please forgive Linds and Seth for forgetting. Miya's changed everything. But I didn't forget, I never will. I've been dreading this day every single day for exactly two years...I never thought I'd actually be here to visit your grave in person. I know you can hear me, I **know** you can._

"I miss you so much," she whispered, eyes still squeezed shut._ Every girl needs her mom..._

"...So who was she?"

Peyton jumped and whirled around, suddenly face-to-face with the last person she ever expected to see here. "Ichigo? What're you doing here?" she asked, turning away quickly to look at her grave again.

He shifted to where she could see him out of the corner of her eye, and he shrugged. "Does it matter? So, who was she?"

Peyton turned back to the grave. "My mother. It's her ann-...She died two years ago today." She didn't like using the word "anniversary". It made it sound like a happy occasion.

He looked at the picture, too. "Thought so. You look almost exactly like her."

She smiled slightly. "Eh, I guess so, but she was different. She was special."

He nodded. "I know what you mean, so was mine."

_Was._ Peyton felt her stomach drop. She had had the creeping suspicion his mom was dead, but it never really clicked to her before now. Before she could stop herself, her anger boiled to the surface. "Funny how I'm the only one who bothered coming. Besides my dad, I mean. He wouldn't, all he did last time was hole himself up in his room and take off of work. Lindsay's _cooking_ couldn't even get him to come out, all he did was sit on his bed, watch TV Land, and look at old pictures. Then he'd be totally fine the next day. The rest of us would just kind of mope around, since her grave was all the way in Karakura and we didn't really feel like seeing relatives and hearing how wonderful mom used to be. We already knew that, no need to make us feel worse, right? But today...I guess Miya's a bit more interesting. Which is good, I guess, since she takes their mind off of it. It's better than hearing the Bonanza theme song playing through the wall all night," she rambled, not knowing where half the stuff she was saying was coming from.

Ichigo appeared to have a lightbulb moment amidst her rambling. "Oh, _I _get it now. Miya's your stepmom?"

Peyton shook her head. "Not yet. Come spring, she will be. It wouldn't have pissed me off so much if I had at least known she _existed _before he dropped the bomb on us...I just got home one day and she was there, all beaming sunshine and pooping butterflies and shit." Ichigo sweatdropped at that, and she pretended not to notice.

A slight wind blew past them, ruffling her hair. She glanced over at him. "I still remember exactly what I had been thinking throughout that day, every single tiny thing...It's weird. Then again, it _was_ the worst day of my life, so I guess it makes sense."

He looked at her with the most serious expression she had ever seen Ichigo wear. Not saying much, but still. "Peyton?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever...y'know, blame yourself?"

"Of course I do," she blurted, then winced. "Well, it_ is_ my fault." His look clearly said_ Please Explain_, but she knew he was too nice to ask.

"Well, I was 13, y'know. All 'ooh, I'm a teen now, I count for something!'. And I was a lot less patient with my parents, like every other kid in the world. We used to come here sometimes during the fall. She liked the way Karakura looked with all the leaves changing color, and the fairs and such. Plus, at the time, dad was still looking into the job offer as Chief Coroner here. Anyway, we had just had this huge fight about something unbelievably stupid, and I was walking along the river by myself, right down there," she explained, jerking her thumb behind her.

Her voice started getting shaky as she thought back. "I remember some woman flailing around in the water, she looked like she was drowning. I called for help and looked around for anybody, but I didn't see anyone. And of course, my phone didn't have service, y'know, just to fuck my over doubly. So...I tried to save her myself. After that, it's kind of hazy...the paramedics said I hit my head, and I _do_ remember a sharp pain from hitting it on something, but after that I don't remember much at all...I remember the look on my mom's face when she randomly showed up on the shore and dove in, though. When I woke up..."

She cut off for a second. This part always made her vulnerable. And she didn't like vulnerable. "Some random bystander was doing CPR on me, and another one was calling an ambulance or something." She shook her head. "And the rest I saw...it's just unspeakable." What she meant was the way her mom's body looked; it looked like more had happened to her than just a simple drowning, that's for sure, and Ichigo seriously looked like he knew what Peyton was talking about. So much so that it was a bit unnerving.

Peyton felt tears brimming to the surface, and tried her best to blink them away before thinking, _Fuck it, let 'em come._

"I never even made up with her before the accident. And I've always been a good swimmer. But on the one day I apparently decided to throw all previous swimming experience out the window, my mom died. So, I have no choice but to blame myself. People can tell me it wasn't all they want, it doesn't change the fact that I think they're wrong. You know?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I know."

She glanced at the flowers she had put there, the ones she had been randomly picking on the way. Half of them were weeds, but they still looked cool. She knew her mom would like them regardless. "Why_ were_ you here?"

He looked around, then shrugged, inching a little closer. "I like coming here. My mom's buried nearby, too. It's peaceful here, and usually when we come on the day she died, my dad does something stupid anyway, so...it's nice to see her when it's quiet."

Peyton nodded. "You're right, it _is_ pretty quiet around here. Maybe I should come here more often." Whether it was something in her voice, or just that he'd had plenty of experience with the whole grieving thing, he was ready for the breakdown that was coming.

He wordlessly put an arm around her shoulders, she hid her face in his shoulder, and the sobs finally tore from her dry throat. Peyton felt all previous thoughts of Ichigo's annoyance temporarily disappear as he just patted her back and let her cry.

* * *

**Me: (Grabs tissue from Ichigo's tissue box) That's so emotional!**

**Rukia: (nods tearfully)**

**Ichigo: (tries to wipe away tear marks on his face) I-I've seen better. You chicks, so fucking emotional!**

**Me: (sweatdrops) Dude, your voice is shakier than mine and Rukia's combined!**

**Ichigo: YOU CAN'T PROVE THAT!**

**Rukia: (eye-roll between sniffles) Whatever. REVIEW!**


	6. Spiderwebs

**Me: 'Ello again! I would like to dedicate this chapter to Jennifurball, for being so awesome. *nudges Ichigo***

**Ichigo: ...Yes? Can i help you?**

**Me: HAND HER THE COOKIE!**

**Ichigo: *jumps* alright, alright! One giant chocolate-chip cookie, fresh out of Yuzu's oven.**

**Me: YAY!**

**Rukia: How could anyone be happy about giving someone ELSE a giant cookie filled with cookielicious-ness?**

**Me: *droops* ...crap. You're right! **

**DISCLAIMER: C'mon you guys. It's pretty obvious im not a millionare. In fact, why am I still even GIVING OUT a disclaimer? **

**Lyrics: Sorry I'm not home right now/ I'm walking into spiderwebs So/ leave a message, and I'll call you back/  
A likely story but/ leave a message and I'll call you back. - "Spiderwebs", No Doubt  
**

* * *

Even after Peyton's crying jag slowed to a stop, they stayed like that a little longer. They weren't really sure why, but hey- what could it hurt?

This was one day where a bit of a mutual truce existed between them, where they could both be sad and comfort each other like friends, instead of, y'know, biting each other's heads off some more.

But then, of COURSE, a stupid dead person had to clear their throat and ruin the moment.

They both stiffened, glared at the ghost, realized they were actually embarrassed, and moved a good five feet away from each other while avoiding the other person's eyes pointedly.

The ghost- a kid a few years younger than them- sweatdropped. "Wow. I've never seen two people move that quick in my life _or_ death. Especially if they were hugging a few minutes ago!"

"We weren't _hugging_!" they snapped defensively, as if the very idea disgusted them. Which it did, of course...

"We were, uh.."

"He had something on his shoulder..."

"She was wiping it off with her face..."

"And tears...and I was tired..."

"And cold, it's kind of chilly, isn't it?"

"Yeah!" they explained lamely, and the ghost boy sweatdropped with each line.

"Riiiiigghht. Look, you don't have to explain it to me, I was a teenager too!" They sweatdropped at the suggestive look he was giving them, and Ichigo leaned towards her slowly. "Awkwaaarrd," he stage-whispered, making her roll her eyes.

She then smiled at the ghost boy. "Anyway, what can we help you with?"

"_We_?" Ichigo hissed. She waved him off with a flip of her hair, which just made his temple throb and eye twitch slightly. "Why you..."

The ghost boy turned sad. "I died two days after my fourteenth birthday. Everyone thought it was my dad, since we argued a lot. But all he did was yell at me for my grades, I swear! Even though they couldn't prove he killed me, everyone in our neighborhood still thinks he did. Wherever he goes, people whisper behind his back. He's not the same. He looks older and...worn-down. But I have proof of who killed me!" he declared.

Ichigo and Peyton perked up, exchanging a look. Solving a murder? Might actually be interesting. He grinned at their obvious excitement and cocked his head towards an old street. "Follow me!"

* * *

_**TWO HOURS LATER...**_

Peyton shivered for about the eight-millionth time. "Well, what the hell possessed you to wear that skimpy top anyway?"

She shot Ichigo a glare. "One, it is _not_ skimpy. Skimpy would be a coconut bra. This is a camisole. A fancy undershirt, if you will. And two, I didn't know a GHOST BOY WOULD LEAD US ON A WILD GOOSE CHASE!" Peyton yelled loud enough for the boy, Hura, to hear.

He winced and yelled back, "Sorry! It's kind of far!"

"That would've been great information to share with us BEFORE we passed my house! Maybe I could've grabbed a jacket," she muttered to herself moodily.

Ichigo glanced her way. They both knew she couldn't _stand _going over there after the little crying episode she just had. She didn't want to deal with _any_ of it at the moment as far as her family was concerned.

Finally, Hura stopped dead in his tracks. "...That's it," he whispered shakily. Peyton and Ichigo exchanged a look of pure misery at the ram-shackle house. Rotted wood, a creepy window whining as it wobbled off its hinges in the wind, completely dark inside and out.

"...But of _course_ it is!" Peyton hissed as she walked through the front lawn moodily. Hura grabbed her arm, and she shivered at the extra cold on her already goosebump-covered skin.

"Um...I forgot to mention...I don't actually _have_ the evidence. I was hoping you could find some for me. But I have a good idea of where it should be!" he added quickly at the look of pure horror on their faces.

Peyton gulped and stared at the house with wide eyes. "...I'm gonna die."

Ichigo rolled his eyes and pulled her along. "Oh _please_. I'm a goddamn Soul Reaper! I'll kick the asses of anyone who tries to hurt you in there...or, more importantly, me."

She shot him a glare. "Oh, well, thank you. I feel so safe now. My hero."

He glanced at her arm. "Damn, you really _are_ cold."

"No shit, Sherlock."

He scowled. "I was just saying."

"I was just replying."

"...Smartass."

* * *

Once inside, the creepy factor went even farther off the charts. One look at the stairs, and Peyton gave Ichigo an extra push so he was ahead of her. "You first. You're heavier."

"Oh, yeah, you're right. Since I'm pure muscle and all."

Peyton laughed out loud. "Hahahaha...you're funny, Ichigo! Who knew!" But she ended up screaming and ramming into the railing of the not-so-stable staircase as a black cat wriggled through her shaking legs. "Oh _shit_!"

Ichigo tried really hard not to laugh as he stated, very seriously, "That was karma."

"SHUT UP AND GO!"

He jumped and shushed her. "You don't fucking yell in a murderer's house, idiot!"

They finally made it up the stairs, and ended up in an even creepier hallway. "This is almost like The Grudge, only creepier because I have no idea what kind of fucked-up monster's gonna jump out at me," Peyton whispered shakily.

Ichigo sweatdropped at that before glancing around. "Maybe we should split up. Cover more ground."

She smacked him upside the head. "Idiot! Do you not watch horror movies? You never, ever, ever, EVER split up!"

Ichigo sighed and rolled his eyes. "Honestly, you _believe_ that crap? I'll be in the room right across from you. Besides; the more ground we cover, the quicker we can leave."

She bit her lip, then sighed in defeat. She was FREEZING. "Fine. But you better not leave me up here. I'll haunt you for the rest of your life, until you die, and then I can kick your ass to some other dimension!"

He rolled his eyes and went into the first room they saw. "Yeah yeah, sure you will."

* * *

Peyton took one look in the other room and nearly had a heart attack. Of _course_ she got the room with all the Chappy Collectibles. "Are you freaking _kidding _me?"

She couldn't help but consider murdering a certain someone as she searched the room. She took it with courage, rifling through drawers and looking under stacks of books and assorted papers until she found something interesting.

"A diary?"

She opened it, and felt a little sick as she read some of it. It was filled with drawings of hideouts, traps, and information on every victim this guy had conquered. Including one that matched Hura.

Peyton closed the book with a shudder and headed for the doorway, going around the opposite end of the coffee table than on her way in. She then noticed she was about to pass the Chappy displays and shuddered again, legs shaking now.

She seriously needed a freaking paper bag right now.

"Alright, P. Deep breaths. They won't try and hug you like that _one _did ten years ago! It was just a person in a costume back then. It's okay...in and out...in and-"

"CHAPPY WANTS A HUG!"

Peyton screamed bloody murder as the Chappy displays suddenly sprang to life when she passed, reaching out for a hug. "A hug...of DEATH! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" Peyton yelled, bolting for the exit. She ran smack into Ichigo, and screamed again before losing her balance and falling down the barely-even-stairs staircase, falling through the very last one and grabbing onto a piece of wood for support. "ICHIGO? A LITTLE HELP WOULD BE _VERY_ AWESOME!"

Peyton narrowed her eyes into slits, as if that would make the rotten wood stop bending under the pressure of her hand and the rest of her body, which was dangling over a really dark room. She gripped it tighter, which did nothing except make her hand hurt even more.

Then the wood gave way, and she yelped as she fell. But at the very last second, right before she was in the dark room entirely, Ichigo stretched as far as possible and grabbed her wrist, pulling her up quickly.

She sighed with shaky relief. "Seriously, I owe you." Peyton picked up the diary, which had miraculously landed on the stair above the giant hole during her tumble.

She waved it in front of his face. "Looks like we're not the only ones keeping dia-..._journals_," she corrected at the look on his face.

* * *

_**THIRTY-SEVEN MINUTES LATER...**_

The cop on duty at the nearest station read it over, making faces every few lines.

"Sick bastard. Guess it wasn't the father after all." He nodded in approval at them. "Thanks, you two. Maybe now the kid's family and neighbors can sleep easier. We'll check out his place tomorrow."

"Watch out for the second room to the right, it's filled with...animatronic Chappies," Peyton warned with yet another shudder. Ichigo and the cop sweatdropped. "I was reliving it," she snapped defensively.

"She's terrified of Chappy dolls," Ichigo informed him, and he nodded slowly. Then he looked her over, brows furrowed with slight concern.

"You look like you could use some first aid, kid. Did the Chappy dolls do that?"

Peyton laughed sheepishly. "Um, no...the stairs did." They sweatdropped again, and as he turned his back, she stomped on Ichigo's foot.

"Ow! What the hell!"

"It was _your fault_, dumbass!"

"Not _my_ fault you're clumsy."

"Okay, you know what? One more crack and I swear I'll ki-"

A woman cleared her throat, and they gave her an "Oops, my bad" look. "I was told someone was in need of some first-aid?"

Peyton raised her good hand. "That'd be me."

* * *

_**EIGHT MINUTES LATER...**_

Hura looked her over as they came back outside. Her right hand was wrapped up, after getting the cuts cleaned and about eighty bazillion splinters yanked out not-so-gently, and there was a Chappy band-aid on both knees and her elbow.

She sighed in agitation. "It seems like everyone knows how much I hate Chappy, and they just _looove_ to rub it right in my face. Maybe it's just too funny for them to pass up...?"

"On the plus side, they're glow-in-the-dark," Ichigo pointed out.

She glanced at them and grinned. "_That's_ true! I love those type of band-aids!" Hura laughed and hugged them both in turn, to which Peyton smiled and Ichigo patted his ghostly back awkwardly.

"Thanks you guys! How can I ever repay you?"

Peyton waved him off. "Ah, no worries. Now go rest in peace, or whatever it is you ghosts with finished business do." Ichigo rolled his eyes and went all Soul Reaper, taking out his zanpakuto.

Peyton started spazzing out. "Whoa whoa _whoa_, what're you gonna do with that thing?"

He blocked her with one hand as she attempted to move between him and the ghost, both Hura and himself sweatdropping. "Chill out."

He turned it around, held it by the blade end, and pressed what she called the stump end to Hura's forehead. He then disappeared, leaving nothing behind but a butterfly, which fluttered away.

Peyton glanced around them. "What happened, where'd he go?"

Ichigo returned to his normal body. "Soul burial. I sent him to the Soul Society. That's what happens when they have no more unfinished business. Another thing Soul Reapers do a lot, besides killing Hollows."

"You never mentioned_ that_ part," she muttered moodily as they headed for their neighborhoods.

* * *

_**TWO HOURS LATER...**_

"It's eleven at night, my sister's gonna kill me," Peyton said to herself miserably. "If I weren't so tired, I'd kick your ass and blame _that_ on you, too."

Ichigo waved her off. "Sure you would. Hey, maybe they remembered about your mom by now, and they'll feel so guilty that you'll be off the hook."

Peyton considered that. "Maybe. ...I hope. I'm tired as it is. That was my twelfth ghost this week, last thing I need is to get chewed out...I might explode."

"Your twelfth? I usually deal with that many every couple weeks or so, not in a few days."

She shrugged. "Remember what Rukia said? Something weird, with the balance? Probably why."

"Ichigo! Peyton! There you are." They looked around through the darkness to find the source of the yelling. Rukia and Seth ran up to them, panting and angry/relieved.

"We've been looking for you two for hours! Where the hell have you been?"

"...Nowhere," they said innocently. Rukia was about to give them an earful, but then Peyton looked at them suspiciously. "Wait a minute. Why were _you two_ looking for us_ together_? How do you even _know_ each other?"

They both turned about five shades of red. "It's nothing like that!"

"We just, uh, ran into each other!"

Peyton and Ichigo exchanged a smug look; they were officially off the hook.

"You're not the only one who remembers what today is, P. Honestly. Have more faith than that, jeez! ...You were just the only one who wasn't too preoccupied to go. I was planning on going later, but I never got around to it. When I got home, Linds was wondering where you were, and I didn't want her to feel guilty, so I said I'd talk to you. ...That way I could see the grave, too. She's just so excited about this wedding, you know how chicks love that shit."

Peyton sweatdropped. "Not all chicks, obviously!"

Seth ignored that. "So I got to the cemetery and you weren't there. Right as I was wondering what the hell you could be doing, Rukia ran up and was all, 'You're looking for Peyton?' And I was all, 'What are you, a stalker?' And she was all, 'Nooo, I'm her friend Rukia. I'm looking for Ichigo, have you seen him?' And I was all, 'That kid with the orange hair that got attacked by raccoons a week ago?' And she was all, 'I dunno about raccoons, but that's the one.' So we figured if we found one, we'd find the other, and we've been looking for y'all ever since," he concluded.

Ichigo and Rukia sweatdropped, and Peyton laughed. "He has a way with storytelling."

"So it seems," Rukia replied with a slight giggle.

Ichigo and Peyton sweatdropped. "Rukia giggles? In a non-maniacal way? _Besides_ when she's doing her Innocent Schoolgirl act?"

Ichigo shrugged. "I guess when you hang with human chicks long enough, they rub off on you."

Seth gave her an understanding grin. "If you wanna go to a friend's house for the night, I'll cover for ya."

Rukia perked up, and Ichigo drooped. "Really?"

"Really?"

"Seth, do you hate me?"

They both gave Ichigo a look, and Seth sweatdropped. "Um...yes, yes, and naw, Ichigo, you're alright."

* * *

_**TWENTY-THREE MINUTES LATER...**_

"Papa, Peyton's back!" Was the first thing Yuzu said. She said it with such excitement that Ichigo didn't even shoot her a smart-ass comment.

Mr. Kurosaki and Karin's heads popped up from behind a wall, making the three teens jump. "What the hell, you guys!" Ichigo yelled, trying to hide the fact that he was caught off guard.

Karin rolled her eyes. "Idiot. In case you never noticed, there's a wall separating the den from the kitchen."

Peyton grinned. _I feel at home already. _

* * *

_**Entry #3:**_

_Well then. Today was probably the most eventful so far in Karakura. Filled with random crap. I went to mom's grave by myself, but I didn't expect Ichigo to be there too. Which...in the end, I was kinda glad he was. __For a few minutes there, we didn't fight. We didn't cause bodily harm to each other. He just let me ramble and explain my side of mom's death, and he didn't insist it wasn't my fault...that was cool. And then he let me cry on him, which...now, it's kinda embarrassing, but it still felt pretty good at the time._

_But then a ghost kid, Hura, ruined it. So we ended up going to a creepy murderer's house to find some evidence to prove his dad's innocence. Hura's dad, I mean. _

_And NOT ONLY did I end up surrounded by Chappy dolls, but I fell down the stairs and almost fell into some really dark room. Which is probably the basement, where the killer-person would most likely torture and kill me! ...If the fall didn't kill me, that is. _

_So now I have all this gauze stuff on my hand, from where the nurse lady at the police station mauled it trying to get all the splinters out, and several Chappy band-aids. GREEEAATT!_

._..But, as Ichigo pointed out, at least they're glow-in-the-dark. I was pretty impressed with him, he saved me back there. But he's still an annoying, giant dumbass. _

_I'm at Ichigo's house now (again). Oh crap. Yuzu's got a very ominous look on her face. I have a feeling I'm not gonna get any sleep tonight on her floor...Dammit. _

* * *

_**ENTRY #3 IN MY MANLY JOURNAL OF THINGS OF A MASCULINE NATURE:**_

**I seriously need to think of a shorter title. Oh well. Takes too much time. **

**So today, n****ot only did I find out something creepy about Peyton, but I solved a murder. **

**Oh, and saved her life. Which she never really thanked me for, but then again, it's ****Peyton. I guess her "Seriously, I owe you one" is good enough.**

**Anyway. The creepy thing. Her mom died two years ago today. Which isn't creepy, it's sad. I felt pretty bad for her. I've never seen her like that. But the creepy thing is that her mom's death sounds almost exactly like MY mom's. Now THAT'S creepy. And...sounds like a really bad plot to some mystery-romance story or something...in fact, I think Rukia had a manga about something like that...(shudders) **

**Aside from my mom dying when I was nine, they happened in the same area, and sound sort of the same. I guess I could've told her it was pretty likely a Hollow killed her, and that it wasn't her fault. But that wouldn't help; she'd feel more guilty for falling into the Hollow's trap. I fell for it too when I was a kid. **

**I guess we're both lucky our moms were there to save us. I used to feel really guilty about my mom, too, and still do from time to time. But I think Peyton feels worse 'cause they were fighting over something stupid and she never got to say she was sorry. But I think her mom knows, and I told her that when she was having her crying jag episode. **

**You know what was cool about that? For a while there, we weren't fighting or anything. It was like a...a...uhhh, what's it called? Ummm...OH! A truce. Yeah, that's it. I wonder what would've happened if that ghost kid hadn't been there... **_  
_


	7. I Hate You, My Friend

**Me: I had a snow day today, so i might post up to THREE new chapps today! Because i had to split this into 2 chapps since i had way too much fun with it! **

**Ichigo: so, lemme get this straight. On snow days, you spend time writing about me and my private life?**

**Me: NOOOOO, i write about, you, Rukia's, AND Peyton's private life!**

**Ichigo: (sweatdrops) oh. well that makes it loads better.**

**Me: (hands Ichigo sheet of paper) here, like we practiced!**

**Ichigo: (looks at Jennifurball and reads off paper enthusiastically) YOU ARE SO WELCOME FOR THE COOKIE!**

**Me: Good boy. See, now you just made her day. don't you feel a bit better on the inside?**

**Ichigo: Sure.**

**Me: NOT TITE KUBO!**

**Lyrics: "I don't know why, I don't like what's in your eyes, and I'd love to split 'em wide/I'd rather go to hell than shake your hand or wish you well, in case you couldn't tell/ I could pretend, DUDE! Can't you understand/ I hate you, my friend. **

**And some call it obsession/ And others call it PURE HATE/ And others call it pathetic/But some, totally relate." - "I hate you (my friend), John Oszajca**

* * *

Come Monday, Ichigo and Peyton had to serve their first of many detentions together. Why they couldn't have started last week, they weren't sure. But whatever.

"I love Karakura's idea of detention," Peyton muttered to herself happily as the teacher, Ms. Himuro, just left them there. Apparently Orihime's cupcake didn't settle well with her, which wasn't all that surprising, really.

Everyone immediately erupted into talking, and Peyton noticed some girls talking about Twilight. She rolled her eyes as they stole glances at "The Cullen Kid". Y'know, her. One girl noticed her eye-roll and blinked dumbly. "What's _your _problem?" Before Peyton could answer, a random spitball hit the girl square in the face, and she spazzed out. _Wow. That kinda just made my day...!_

"I don't _get _Twilight," Peyton stated as they walked home. Ichigo nodded in agreement, and Rukia was shocked. "What's not to get?"

"Well, several things. How could they survive all these years if the dudes _sparkle_? Either someone would've beat them with a crowbar for it by now, or they would've been found out. And another thing: they're not true vamps."

"WHAT?"

Peyton scoffed. "If they are, how come they've never attacked Bella during her period, _hmm_?"

Ichigo sweatdropped. "I can't believe we're having this conversation right now..."

Rukia nodded slowly. "You have a point. That IS strange! Huh. And those girls said you were a disgrace to the Cullens!"

"Obviously they haven't met the rest of my family."

Later on during the walk, Ichigo and Peyton were in the middle of a heated debate over where hot dogs came from when she abruptly stopped walking and squinted into the distance. "...Is that..? No way!"

Rukia glanced around frantically, thinking something was wrong. "What, is it a Hollow?"

Peyton waved her off. "No! Wouldn't your pager go off if it were? ...Excuse me a minute." She then ran towards the figure.

They laughed in disbelief, and he hugged her. "Jake!"

"Peyton? Holy crap!"

Ichigo and Rukia soon caught up with them, and question marks popped up above their heads. "Oh, um, sorry about that. Jake, Rukia, Ichigo. Rukia, Ichigo, Jake." He grinned and shook hands with them. Rukia smiled approvingly. Ichigo shook hands extra hard.

"Jake's one of my friends from back home. Dude, what're you doing here?"

Jake shrugged. "Dad moved us for his job. Some sort of business deal, it's only temporary, but we'll be here for a few months. Small world, huh?"

"I'll say. Where are you staying?"

He jerked his thumb behind him. "Back there somewhere, I'm still not good with the directions."

Peyton rolled her eyes. "You've_ never_ been good with directions, Jake."

He flashed a grin. "I'll show ya, if you want. Maybe you could show me a good way to get to the high school from there. I'm pretty much lost."

Ichigo pointed towards the high school, which was only about a hundred feet away. "You mean _that_ one?"

"...Oh."

Peyton laughed. "Guys, can you go on without me?"

Rukia nodded happily, and Ichigo waved her off. Jake snaked an arm around her shoulders in a friendly way, and as they walked off, she nearly laughed out loud at the not-so-friendly look the two guys shot at each other when they thought she wasn't paying attention.

_What dumbasses. _

_**ENTRY #4: **_

_The unthinkable has occurred. Jake moved to Karakura! I'm so excited. Now I have someone from my old life, and some friends from my new one. I have cake AND I can eat it too! OHHHH. WHAT now? I never really got that saying, anyway. _

_Now that I think about it, something's different about him, I just can't put my finger on it...Meh. Whatever. But what's even funnier is the natural territorial mood that occurs between two dudes. Which I get, 'cause they're two weird guys who have no idea what the other one's like. It's still freaking hilarious. But hopefully once they get to know each other, they'll play nice. _

_...Oh, who am I kidding. This is gonna be fucking hilarious._

* * *

_**ENTRY #4 IN MY MANLY JOURNAL OF THINGS OF A MASCULINE NATURE: **_

**Three words:**

**What **

**The**

**Fuck?**

**How many people from America move to Karakura, and how many of them are from the same place and seem to be good friends?**** This Jake dude...I don't like him. I dunno what the hell it is, but something about him doesn't settle well. This dude better not be a douche. Or else I'll be forced to kick his ass.**

* * *

The next day, Jake was in their homeroom waiting. "At least I showed up on time, so I didn't look like one of those losers who shows up late and everyone looks at them funny."

Peyton glared at him, and an icy aura surrounded them in the background. "Funny. That's what happened to me."

Jake waved her off. "Please. We all know YOU'RE not a loser though, P."

By lunch, almost every girl she knew (and most she didn't) had begged to be introduced to "The Hot Yankee Dude". Ichigo rolled his eyes as Peyton locked the door to the roof to keep a wave of girls from pouring in. "I see Jake's upped his status."

Peyton nodded, then eyed him slyly. "What do _you_ think of him, Ichigo?"

Rukia's straw became really interesting as he poked it through the juice box with ease. "He's okay, I guess."

Rukia snorted a laugh. "Very convincing, Ichigo. Do all the Tennessee boys look like that?"

Peyton laughed, too. "Ha. Yeah, right. If they did, I would've committed suicide the day we moved here!"

"Well, now, us Karakura guys aren't THAT bad," Ichigo commented nonchalantly.

Peyton gave him a weird look. "Well, sure, I _guess_ not.."

* * *

Jake also walked home with them, which was an interesting sight. He hid in the bushes until Peyton and Ichigo's detention was over, so no crazy-obsessed schoolgirls (or boys) would find him.

"I don't get why so many girls are drooling over him," Peyton commented more to herself as they headed down the hallway. She glanced sideways at Ichigo, who seemed in a better mood now.

Until they met up with Rukia and Jake. Jake instantly fell into stride on Peyton's right side, and she glanced between the two guys. _Let the show begin_.

"Hey P, do they have any bulls around here?"

Peyton laughed. "Where do you think we are, Spain?"

"C'mon now, Ole Man Zimmerman had plenty of bulls out in his field."

Rukia raised her brows in interest. "Ole Man Zimmerman?"

Jake told the story happily. "This one time, me and Peyton were hanging out with some friends when one of 'em got a stroke of genius."

"Dumbass-ness in my opinion," Peyton commented. Then she smiled innocently. "Heh. Go on."

"Anyway. He said he'd pay me fifty bucks if I slapped one of Zimmerman's bulls on the ass twice."

Rukia cocked her head. "Why twice?"

"If you slap it once, nothing happens. But after the first time, it's alert, and it'll charge you," Peyton explained.

"Yeah, what she said. So I did, and, well...I couldn't walk for about a week." Rukia laughed, and Ichigo and Peyton did a sort of half-laugh. Peyton had heard the story about eight million times from him and every other person that had been there. Ichigo was just moody, as per usual.

Peyton grinned. "Again, I shake my head at your stupidity."

After a while, the two guys lingered behind, and Rukia and Peyton walked ahead.

"How the hell did you meet that guy?" Rukia asked, making Peyton laugh.

"He lived three houses down. Honestly, I don't see what the big deal is."

"He's hot."

"So?"

"Well, that's the big deal for giddy, overly-hormonal schoolgirls. Not to mention he's new. They acted the same way over your brother, you know."

Peyton nodded. "Good point. I guess we're the exceptions."

* * *

_**ENTRY #5:**_

_It seems like all of Karakura's teens are going crazy over Jake's arrival. I don't quite get it. Sure, he's cute. There's hotter here in Karakura. Like this one kid I saw at the store the other day. Me and Lindsay followed him casually through about six aisles, he was that hot. _

_When I got to my house, Ichigo looked about to kill someone. It freaked me out. NOTE TO SELF: Ask Ichigo what the hell his problem is tomorrow. Also, get Jake to stop telling that stupid bull story. I've heard it so many times that if I hear it again, I'm gonna gouge my ears out with a spork. _

_...ANOTHER NOTE TO SELF: Figure out what the hell I'm gonna be for Halloween in three weeks. Yaaayyy...Halloween! My favorite hol-ii-daayyy!_

* * *

_**ENTRY #5 IN MY MANLY JOURNAL OF THINGS OF A MASCULINE NATURE:**_

**I think I might kill that kid. I seriously considered it. But wouldn't you after what he so casually told me? Oh, wait. I'm the only one who heard it besides Jake. **

**_Here's what happened_:**

**The two Midgets went ahead, and he stayed behind as if he seriously thought I cared what he had to say. And I didn't really, until he started talking about Peyton.**

Jake: "Are you two going out?"

**Me**: "**Hell no!"**

Jake: "Oh. Cool. No offense, but thanks for being an idiot." (laughs like a douche)

**Me**: "**Uh...you're welcome? Why am I an idiot again?" **

Jake: "Oh, nothin'. I guess she's just hot to me."

**Me**: "**Uhhh...yeah, I'd say it's just you. And Keigo." **

Jake: "Nah, more than that, I'm sure. I mean, c'mon. Red hair, brown eyes, nice bod. A little short, but that's totally fine. Nice ass, too."

**Me: (desperate to LEAVE THIS CONVERSATION!) "That's great, really. Why are you telling me this again?" **

Jake: "Are you gay?"

Me: "**What the- no!" (AWKWARD.)**

Jake: "Oh, my house is this way. Later, Ichigo."

**Me**: "**Yeah." ****(Waits till he's out of range) "...Douche." **

**I mean, come on! Who says shit like that? Out LOUD?**

**Well...every other dude on the planet at some point...BUT STILL! **

**No one's ever said that about PEYTON. The very thought of her being hot just...makes me shudder. No, really, I just shuddered while I was writing that.**

**Damn. What a douche.**

* * *

After pretty much twisting Ichigo's arm behind his back to get him to tell her what happened yesterday, she laughed when he finished explaining.

"That's all? You looked like you were gonna kill someone."

"I was considering it."

Peyton folded her arms across her chest. "Honestly? Dude, every guy thinks about crap like that. ...Aren't you the guy here? You should know by now...Jeez. Anyway, you think I don't know he does? I've known him for five years. I've been aware of every girl he's ever set his sights on, myself included."

"But...but he's a jerk!"

"What, is it hard to think someone could think about me that way?"

"Well...Well, no, I guess not, but-"

"Alright then! Jeez, Ichigo. For a pervert, you sure don't take well to perverted thoughts about people."

"Well, no, it's not that. It doesn't bother me about most people, just..." He didn't finish his sentence, but they both knew what he was going to say.

Peyton grinned. "It's because he's American, isn't it?"

Ichigo rolled his eyes, the permanent scowl on his face deepening. "Yep, that's it. You caught me. I hate Americans."

"TERRORIST!"

* * *

Next Friday, Rukia brought the word "Awkward" to a whole new meaning.

Jake had to take off early that day for some reason, so it was just the three of them walking home. And out of nowhere, she casually asked Peyton, "Is it true? That you're going out with Jake tonight?"

Ichigo had been drinking some random drink he had snagged from Orihime earlier, and it flew everywhere. "What?" he sputtered.

Peyton sweatdropped, and Rukia laughed nervously. "I'm guessing you didn't hear about it, Ichigo?"

"Hell no!" They both looked at her and asked at the same time, "ARE you?" Rukia sounded eager; Ichigo sounded PISSED.

She sweatdropped once again. "Uhhh...well, um, yes."

"Yay!"

"What the_ fuck_?"

Peyton gave him a defensive glare. "What? I can go out with whoever I want, thank you _very_ much."

"Yeah, but...He's a DOUCHE!"

"No he's not!"

"Uh, YEAH, he is!"

Peyton stomped her foot in annoyance. "Dammit Ichigo, I think I've known him longer than you have! If you weren't so damn thick-headed, maybe y'all would get along!"

"Thick-headed? I'M thick-headed? How the hell did this happen in the first place?"

Rukia, who had been watching them go back and forth with confusion, now perked up. Kon, who had been poking out of Ichigo's school bag, whispered to Rukia, "Oooh, this is getting GOOD!"

Peyton sighed. "Well, if you MUST know...I told him about the conversation we had. He apologized for saying all that, he said he just couldn't help himself. I asked if that was supposed to be an excuse for being an incurable pervert. He said no, but if I would just go on ONE date with him and see how it went, at least I'd know for sure if I were missing out on anything. While it was kind of offending, I figured why not and said yes," she concluded casually.

Rukia nodded in approval. "Niiccee."

Peyton grinned. "Thanks, I thought he was pretty smooth too."

Ichigo looked between them as if they had just announced Armageddon was coming tomorrow. "WHAT? How come you didn't tell me?"

"Well, I didn't think it was any of your business."

"News flash: it is."

"Alright, I'll tell you next time."

"There's a next time?"

"Maybe...?"

"What the hell, Peyton!"

"What the hell's your _problem_, Ichigo?" Peyton finally yelled.

He waved her off. "...Problem? Psh. I don't have a problem. YOU'RE the one with the problem."

"Fine then. I guess I'll see you around. AFTER my date, which you have no problem with."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Yeah, I know. _So_ good!"

"Fine then!"

"FINE."

"FINE!"

"FINE FINE FINE FINE FINE FINE FINE!"

"..."

"..."

"GOOD!"

"FINE!"

She stomped up to her house, but he yelled "FINE THEN!" right before she shut it.

_**CREEAAKK**. _"FINE!" _**SLAM**._

* * *

"...And you told me all that _because_?" Lindsay asked, rifling through Peyton's closet.

She crossed her arms, still annoyed with Ichigo, staring at the ceiling above her bed. "Because he pissed me off! I don't see why he cares so damn much."

Lindsay scoffed. "He's probably jealous."

She shot into an upright position. "Ichigo? Kurosaki? We're talking about the same person, right?"

Her sister laughed. "Last time I checked, yeah."

"Oh. Well in that case, no, there's no way_ he_ of all people is jealous. He just really, really, really, really, REALLY doesn't like Jake. If anything, his ego's slightly bruised."

Lindsay shrugged. "Okay, whatever you say. But that's what it SOUNDS like."

"Psh. Funny."

* * *

_**AN HOUR LATER...**_

Freshly showered and dressed, Peyton finally gave in to Lindsay's begging and let her do her hair. "Why not? You've done everything else."

It took Lindsay about the whole length of Peyton's shower (and she was known for taking _extremely_ long hot showers, during which she now always checked every five minutes to make sure no Soul Reapers popped up in her bathroom without her noticing...) to decide on what Peyton would be wearing.

Which turned out to be something so simple that Peyton facepalmed when thinking about how long it took for her demented sister to deem it suitable: skinny jeans with a dark purple v-neck tank top. I mean, really, even Peyton could've picked that out. But, since the date wasn't much of a big deal anyway, Peyton thanked her nonetheless.

Three burns later, Lindsay unplugged the iron and clapped happily. "All done! It's a work of art!" Peyton was almost afraid to look, but she did, and smiled. Lindsay had teased and curled it, so her hair was now tousled and very touchable (_thank you Sudzz shampoo and 24-hour spray that makes that tangled mess called hair soft_). "Awesome, Lindsay. Purely awesome."

She slipped on some bracelets, hooked in a random pair of earrings, and headed for the stairs. "I'm off."

When she went downstairs, Seth looked her up and down and sighed. "I think I'm gonna cry. My little sis is going on a date."

"Dumbass, I've had four boyfriends."

"Not as far as dad knows. Of course, that could change..."

"Do it, and I swear to God I'll tell him about your porn collection."

"I don't have a porn collection! Pshh..."

Miya and Peyton both rolled their eyes, and she waved Peyton off. "Go on, have fun!"

"Yeah. Later."

Peyton shook her head as she left, hoping this date wouldn't be boring. _Screw Ichigo, I'm fucking GOING!_


	8. Check Yes Juliet

**Me: AAAAANND WE'RE BACK!**

**Ichigo: We?**

**Rukia: You're such a smart-ass, you know that?**

**Me: (smirks slyly, sliding next to Ichigo) Ohh, he's just all in a tizzy because there's slight fluff in this one, riiiiight Ichigo?**

**Ichigo: N-no!**

**Rukia and Me: (high stage-whispers) DENIAL!**

**Ichigo: SHUT UP AND GET ON WITH THE STUPID CHAPTER!**

**Me: Well, FINE then! Oh, and if you want to see an absolutely AWESOME drawing of Peyton done by an awesome fan, type in this baby: jennifurball . deviant art . com (no spaces). She's awesome-looking...THANKS JENNIFAH!**

**DISCLAIMER: how many times do we have to go through this again?**

**Lyrics: Check yes Juliet, I'll be waiting/Wishing, wanting, yours for the taking/Just sneak out and don't tell a soul goodbye/We're flying through the night, We're flying through the night/Way up high/The view from here is getting better with/You by my side **

* * *

"This is un-_freaking_-believable!"

Rukia sighed from her position on the edge of her closet, legs dangling off the side. "Ichigo, why are you still moping?"

"I'm not moping! I just can't _believe_ her!"

"Well, Ichigo, she _can _go out with pretty much whoever she wants. Unless she was your girlfriend, there's no way you're winning this conflict."

"...Psh. Well, that'd never happen, Rukia! Why would you even suggest that?"

"I didn't _suggest_ anything, I just said-"

"I get it!" Ichigo sighed for about the fiftieth time. "I just REALLY hate that guy. Very very much. Douche."

Rukia rolled her eyes. "I dunno, he seems alright to me..."

Ichigo threw his hands up in the air. "Of _course_ he does! To YOU GIRLS! Until he's with fellow guys. He looks at her like a prize or something."

"...Ichigo, are you sure this isn't all in your head?"

"YES, Rukia, I AM!"

Rukia jumped and took a moment to regain her balance. "Well, then, sounds like you're SOL."

"What?"

"Shit Outta Luck."

"Yeah, I know, but how did YOU know that?"

Rukia rolled her eyes and was about to reply when his bedroom door randomly flew open. Dad and Yuzu stood there glaring at him, glass cups in hand. "Son! Get off your orange ass and stop moping!"

Ichigo's temple throbbed. "I'm _not _moping! And my ass is NOT orange, thank you very much!"

"Well, whatever you're doing, and _whatever_ shade your ass is, neither are _helping_! I will _not_ allow my future daughter-in-law to go on a date with another man and give HIS father grandchildren because my son didn't do anything about it!"

Ichigo sweatdropped, eye twitching. "...There is_ so much_ wrong with what you just said.."

Yuzu strode over and looked up at him defiantly. "Ichigo, papa's right! Are you _really_ going to let Peyton go out with this jerk?"

"Well, uh..."

"Maybe she doesn't realize how much of a douche he is, and someone needs to show her! If you really cared about her _at all_, you'd be that person!"

Ichigo considered this. She _was_ his friend. "Go Ichigo go!" Rukia yelled excitedly.

Ichigo jumped up and went outside. "I'll _go_ just to get you to stop cheering me on like that." But then he nearly froze his ass off, so he went and grabbed a jacket. _Then_ he went outside.

* * *

_**FORTY-FIVE MINUTES LATER...**_

Since he forgot to ask if anyone knew where Peyton and Jake were going, Ichigo ended up looking through the window of every building like a stalker. Or a creep. Or maybe just an idiot. OR...

...Like a creepy idiot that stalks people. More specifically Peytons. Yeah, probably that.

Finally, he found them after peering through what had to be the eightieth food place. For some reason, when he saw them, his gut felt weird, like it was twisting up. Without even thinking of a strategy, he waltzed into the joint and looked around casually.

After a few moments, he heard Peyton distinctly mutter "Oh SHIT," and saw her hide her face with a menu from the corner of his eye as if her hair weren't poking out from behind it.

This made him chuckle, and the chick behind the counter eyed him strangely. "Uhh...can I _help_ you?"

* * *

"I know I've said it already, but you look awesome, P."

Peyton waved him off. "Thanks, but it's really not that great. I froze my ass off on the way here." Jake laughed, and she cracked a smile. On the inside, she was already starting to die little by little of boredom. There just wasn't much to talk about; she'd known the date was doomed from the start when they met up at a food place. Two people by themselves across the table from each other on their first date just spelled out "awkward", she was more of an active person to begin with.

Just when she had decided she'd find a way to salvage the date JUST to prove Ichigo wrong and further piss him off, she noticed something truly horrifying.

"Oh, SHIT," she muttered to herself before covering her face with the menu.

"Damn, P. Hungry, or do you just need glasses?"

"Yeah, sure," she said anxiously, trying to be able to see Ichigo over the menu while not being seen by him at the same time. She finally gave up, hoping against hope he hadn't seen her yet.

"...C'mon Peyton, you know I saw you." _Shit. On. Me. Just what I needed...this is gonna be a trainwreck...No, scratch that, I'm just gonna kick his ass. _

* * *

Ichigo was so loving the look on Douche's face as he came into his view. "...C'mon Peyton, you know I saw you."

The look on _her_ face as she slowly set down the menu suggested whatever she was thinking was very inappropriate for young audiences.

"So, what's so interesting about that menu, anyway? Anything good?"

Without hesitation, she answered in a deadly voice, "As a matter of fact, the _chopped strawberries_ sound _very_ tempting right now."

Ichigo gulped in spite of himself before looking at Jake. "'Sup, dude?"

His eye twitched slightly. "Nothing much. Kinda busy."

Ichigo decided to play the Dumb Card. "Ohhhh! Are you guys on a date?"

"YES," Jake answered. "What was your first clue?"

Peyton looked between the two. "Hey Ichigo?"

"Why yes, Peyton?"

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure."

He gave Jake a girly little wave before Peyton yanked him around the corner, into that little room with the bathrooms and whatnot. At least she had the decency not to kick his ass in public.

She gave him the fiercest look he had ever seen before smacking him upside the head as hard as possible. "_Why_ are you trying so damn hard to ruin this for me? Honestly, _one_ date with Jake and you absolutely _have _to interrupt?"

"What? I simply came for a bite to eat and saw you here-"

"The_ hell _you did!"

Ichigo decided to let her have that one. "Okay, yeah, that was a lie. But seriously, Peyton, you shouldn't even go out with this guy _once_."

Peyton eyed him warily. "Give me one good reason."

"Only one?"

"ICHIGO!"

"Alright. Just one of the many reasons is the way he looks at you. It drives me insane."

She gave him a skeptical look. "Care to elaborate?"

Ichigo sighed. "How to put this...He looks at you like a fat guy looks at cake. Like you're a trophy. Also, his eyes seem permanently glues to your ass, and you shouldn't be looked at like that. You're not a _trophy_, or _cake,_ or a walking ass, you're Peyton."

* * *

Peyton was pissed still, for sure, but now she had to admire him a little bit. Not often, if _ever_, would Ichigo say something like that. Although it was hard to believe THAT was the main reason he hunted them down...nicely done, Kurosaki. She also had to bite her lip to keep from laughing when he mentioned her being a walking ass.

"C'mon, let's ditch him!" he said suddenly, making her jump and blink in surprise.

"What?"

"Oh, please, he'll bounce back fast. They always do."

Peyton stared at him for a few seconds, considering, then sighed and shook her head. "Why not."

Ichigo pumped his fist triumphantly, making her roll her eyes. "YES!"

On their way out the back doors, Ichigo pulled her the other direction. Peyton planted her feet defiantly. "Oh, c'mon, Ichigo. We're not _seriously_ gonna rub it in his face that I'm ditching him, are we?"

Ichigo scoffed. "No way. Him NOT knowing right away is way more fun."

He pulled her along and stopped in front of a hostess behind the counter. "NOW you can help me! I'm trying to sneak this midget here out without that guy over there noticing. Here."

He gave her two twenties. "I'll pay you forty bucks to show him a good time after he realizes he's been ditched. But be sure to count how long it takes for him to notice. It makes it more fun."

The dark-haired hostess shrugged and stuffed the bills into her breast pocket. "It's a deal. He's hot." They gave her thumbs up and bolted for the back doors.

* * *

_**THIRTY-SEVEN MINUTES LATER...**_

"Whoa whoa whoa, what's all this?"

Ichigo gave her a weird look. "What does it look like? It's a fair."

Peyton perked up so fast it was kind of scary. "Well then why the hell did Jake not bring me _here_? I love fairs!"

"Good thing I sprung you then."

"Yes, very good indeed," Peyton said happily, already eying the awesomest rollercoaster they had.

"You're not gonna cry, are you?" Peyton asked with a smirk as she pulled down her harness after dragging Ichigo over to said rollercoaster.

Ichigo gave her a "Get Real" look as he brought his down. "Yeah. Right. When it comes to coasters, NOTHING can freak me out."

"You say that NOW. Have you ever been on this one?"

"Nope. It's new."

"Oh, good. We're both newbies." She handed him a random Kleenex. "Here. Just in case."

Ichigo rolled his eyes and tossed it over his shoulder, where it landed smack in the face of whoever was behind him. "Hahaha. Hilarious. Hey, wait a minute. Why the hell'd you have a Kleenex with you in the first place?"

Peyton shrugged, and then they started moving. It was truly the awesomest coaster ever, with plenty of flips and twists and turns, with a good amount of steep drops.

Sadly, Ichigo didn't cry. They were both too busy screaming and laughing and whooping to notice the couple behind them. If they had, they might've gone into cardiac arrest at the total twist of it all. And Peyton just might have thrown up.

Who was this couple, you ask? Well, you'll find out when Peyton and Ichigo find out.

* * *

_**FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER...**_

"Hey, Soul Reaper." She jerked her thumb towards one of the stands: the classic Throw-A-Baseball-To-Hit-The-Targets Booth. "I bet I make more shots than you."

Ichigo took one look at it and scoffed. "You're so on."

Soon, they were tied nineteen-to-nineteen, and there was actually a crowd around them to listen to their smack-talk.

"Okay, so maybe I went easy on you, being the nice guy I am. But now I'm seriously gonna kick your ass, Peyton."

"Huh. Funny, I was going easy on YOU since you brought me here in the first place. I could kick YOUR ass at this both with both hands behind my back."

"...How would you throw the ball then?"

"I'd manage."

He rolled his eyes. "Sure you would."

"Okay, you know what? I'm not going back and forth anymore starting now, 'cause I'm gonna concentrate, throw this baseball, and beat your _ass_ at this booth!" Peyton declared.

"Uh-huh. Right."

"Shut up!"

"See? You can't resist me and the tempting argument."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah?"

"HELL YEAH!"

"Fine, on the count of three, we throw the balls at the same time. THEN we'll see who the master is here!"

"You're on!"

"One..."

"Two..."

"THREE!" they yelled together before throwing their baseballs as hard as possible. By some strange twist of fate, the guy behind the booth was so absorbed in flirting with a girl that he moved right in front of Ichigo's target, and Peyton's went in perfectly.

"WHAT? NO WAY! REMATCH, I DEMAND A GODDAMN REMATCH!"

Peyton waved him off. "Please. You would've missed anyway, it would've bounced off the rim." The crowd laughed and applauded before moving on. By another twist of fate, the boy before them claimed the last character that WASN'T Chappy, so guess what she ended up with.

Ichigo couldn't help but laugh at Peyton's face. "That's so damn funny! Hahahahahaha...ha..." He cleared his throat and wordlessly took the cursed figure out of the poor girl's hands before she hyperventilated. "Rukia can have it."

* * *

They had just tried out the last roller coaster when Ichigo stopped dead in his tracks, mouth ajar in shock. "Holy _shit_."

Peyton gave him a worried look. "What, what's wrong?" He pointed at a couple in the distance, and she turned green.

"Is that...is that Orihime...and my brother?"

He looked about as sick as she did. "Yes, I believe it is."

"Ichigo?"

"Yeah?"

"My _brother_ is exchanging saliva with _Orihime_! Orihime not only landed a senior, but it was my brother. MY BROTHER, Ichigo, are you seeing this?"

"Yeah, I am."

She linked her arm through his. "I need support." They both knew she didn't really, but whatever. Why not? A few minutes later, they both jumped as they heard a huge boom and bang.

"...Oh. Fireworks. Psh, I knew that!"

"Sure you did, Ichigo."

"You jumped just as hard, okay?"

Peyton laughed and shook her head. "Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night."

As they were leaning against the wall of one of the buildings, watching the display, Ichigo remembered something totally random:

_**FLASHBACK**:_

"_Pst. Pst. PSSSSSSSTTTTT! ICHIGO!" Rukia hissed. _

_Ichigo slowly turned to look at her, secretly happy for the distraction from biology homework. "YES, Rukia?" _

_"Have you ever looked at a girl?" _

"_What the hell kind of question is that?" _

"_No, not looked at a girl. LOOKED at a girl." Seeing how totally lost Ichigo was, Rukia cleared her throat and showed him her romance manga of the week. __Some doctor dude was staring at this hot nurse chick, and t__he caption read: "When I saw Fumi, I knew I had never looked at a girl before. Not the way I saw her. I realized there was a difference between looking at a girl, and **seeing** a girl. Between knowing she's there and noticing every little detail that comes with her presence. Yes, I had never before seen a girl as I saw Fumi now." _

_Ichigo sweatdropped._ "_...Rukia? Shouldn't this doctor dude be more focused on the heart transplant?" _

"_HEART TRANSPLANTS AREN'T ROMANTIC!" _

"_ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! Jeez..."_

_**END FLASHBACK.**_

And with all those fireworks going off and lighting up every little expression that crossed her face, he thought, _Whoa, Doctor Dude was right_. Guess the flashback wasn't so random after all.

* * *

_**AN HOUR LATER...**_

Peyton shivered for about the hundred-millionth time as they hit the two-blocks-away mark to their neighborhoods. Stupid Lindsay, picking out the goddamn outfit while knowing it'd be chilly...

"Ichigo?"

"Yeah?"

"Why DO you hate Jake so much?"

He rolled his eyes. "Haven't we been over this? He's a _douche_!"

Peyton shrugged. "I dunno, I guess people change...He _does_ stare at my ass a lot. It's more than a bit annoying."

"See? Told you. And don't you go blaming it on the guy mind, either!"

Peyton gave him a doubtful look. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Be honest, how many times have you looked at my ass?"

Ichigo turned about five shades of red. And yes, one of which was about the equivalent of strawberries. Shocker. "W-well do you mean like _staring_ or _glancing_?"

"All of the above."

"There was only two options," he pointed out.

"Quit stalling and answer the damn question," she shot back in annoyance.

"...Okay, I get your point!"

"How many?"

"I get it!"

"Dammit Ichigo, how many times?"

"...Okay, MAYBE five. Or seven. Glances."

Peyton couldn't help but laugh. "Isn't that about the average of guys' ass-staring?"

"About."

"Well then, there you go. I _can _blame it on the guy mind if I want."

Ichigo groaned. "He's a douche, I swear!"

Peyton laughed again. "I said I could if I _wanted_ to." She suddenly thought of something, causing her to stop walking and narrow her eyes. "Wait a minute...he _does _seem to pop up right behind me whenever I drop something..." She gasped suddenly, temple throbbing. "That _perv_!"

Ichigo smirked. "There's hope for you yet. See, and without me finding you guys, you never would've realized that. Holy crap, Yuzu was right..."

"Huh?"

"Oh, uh, nothing."

"Whatever-" She cut off by covering her nose and making an extremely weird and loud squeaky noise. "...You say."

Ichigo sweatdropped. "What was_ that_ supposed to be?"

"I sneezed, dumbass."

"That didn't sound like any sneeze I've heard."

Peyton waved him off. "Honestly Ichigo, you should know by now that I'm not your average person."

"True that."

After about her fifth sneeze, Ichigo sighed and threw his jacket at her. "Here. That's getting annoying as hell."

Peyton had a mini-spazz-attack, not expecting him to throw something at her, and shot him a look as she slipped it on. He sweatdropped. "Interesting."

* * *

_**FIVE MINUTES LATER...**_

_One..two...THREE!_

"WHO'S LAUGHING NOW, DUMBASS?" Peyton yelled as she jumped him, hitching onto his back somewhat-gracefully.

Ichigo's reaction was to turn around in circles like an idiot yelling "What the FUCK?"

Peyton laughed maniacally, getting a death-grip on his shoulders and latching her legs around his waist. After about ten minutes of trying (and failing pathetically) to fling her off, he sighed and let her stay. "Monkey from hell."

Peyton grinned. "Never been called that before. How original. I applaud you, good sir."

"You better applaud me. You stole my jacket AND half my body!"

"Actually, you THREW me the jacket. Hence why I sought my revenge by hitching a ride as well. Pure genius, if you ask me."

"Well, I DIDN'T ask you."

"Yes you did. You just don't know it."

"Oh, of course."

"Yep."

* * *

By the time Ichigo got them home, Peyton was fast asleep. Now that he thought about it, it was actually a _good_ thing she jumped him, because otherwise he would've frozen his ass off. But with his jacket AND her body heat coming from his back, it wasn't as bad.

For some weird reason, he ran into Rukia and Lindsay. They scared the crap out of him, and he was lucky he didn't drop Peyton. "You don't just pop out of nowhere! What the hell's _wrong _with you guys?"

Rukia sweatdropped, and Lindsay eyed him suspiciously. "Something's wrong with this picture. Why is my sister on your back and wearing different clothes?"

"ICHIGO, WHAT DID YOU DO?"

Ichigo spazzed out at the look on Rukia's face. "I didn't_ do_ anything! She's wearing the same clothes, just with a jacket! Dirty minds!"

Lindsay giggled with embarrassment. "Sorry, Ichigo. Damn, she's out like a light. Hey, wait, I thought she was supposed to be on a date with Jake?"

"Change of plans," he answered, a satisfied smirk on his face. "She had more fun with me anyway."

Lindsay turned around. "Here, put her on my shoulders instead and I'll take her home."

Ichigo reluctantly tried to pry her hands off of his neck first, but she was latched on tight. "Uhhh..."

Rukia rolled her eyes. "Lemme try, whimp." All she did was nearly choke him to death.

Rukia and Lindsay sweatdropped. "Well, _that's_ not good. Dad'll kill us all if some _guy _brings her home." She looked to Rukia. "I know! Can she stay at your place?"

Ignoring Ichigo's look of pure terror at the thought of his dad and Yuzu seeing this, Rukia immediately nodded. "Sure. She practically lives there as it is."

"Awesome!" Lindsay kissed Ichigo's cheek happily, making him turn bright red. "Thanks for saving Peyton! That guy IS kind of a douche now, he won't stop looking at my ass..."

Ichigo sweatdropped. "Now how come even YOU could see that, but it took all my powers of persuasion to get _Peyton_ to see that?"

Lindsay shrugged. "I'm not too surprised. They grew up together. To think of him as anything but a good friend is kinda hard, y'know?"

"Oh."

She waved goodbye to them and ran off. "See ya later, guys!"

Rukia eyed him slyly as they waved goodbye. "So what did you guys do?"

"...Oh, not much," he said mysteriously, smirking to himself.

* * *

**Me and Rukia: (happily munching on popcorn) Awwwww!**

**Ichigo: (turning about five shades of red) Okay, you know what? That chapter doesn't bug me at all, so stick THAT up your ass!**

**Rukia: Hey, watch it!**

**Ichigo: (turns to me like a scorned puppy) ...Sorry.**

**Me: Aw, it's okay.**

**ALL TOGETHER NOW! REVIEW!**


	9. 21 Guns

**Me: Sooo...Ichigo...don't you just LOVE your life?**

**Ichigo: (stares at duct tape on a nearby table longily) one more word, and i swear I'll jump you with that tape.**

**Me: RUKIAAAA!**

**Rukia: I'm staying out of this one.**

**Me: (sniffles) ...Fine. **

**Lyrics: When it's time to live and let die/And you can't get another try/Something inside this heart has died, you're in ruins.**

* * *

Karin opened the door, and Ichigo glanced around spastically. "Where's Dad and Yuzu?"

"...Grocery shopping," Karin said slowly with a fresh sweatdrop.

"At ten o'clock at night?" Rukia asked skeptically, but Ichigo made a loud noise to interrupt her.

"DON'T...jinx it."

Rukia rolled her eyes. "You're so damn paranoid."

"Nooo, I'm AWARE. For example, I'm extremely aware that if Dad and Yuzu saw us like this they'd-"

"_THAT'S_ MY BOY!" Dad whispered as loud as possible, making Ichigo and Rukia yell in surprise. Yuzu had a giddy-slash-sappy look on her face, still holding a pan carelessly.

"You did it! See, I_ told you_ it would work out," Yuzu cried out happily.

Ichigo drooped, and Rukia sweatdropped at Karin, who was in a heap on the floor laughing hysterically.

"...They'd do _that_. Where should I put her?"

"You mean _attempt_ to put her," Rukia corrected.

"She can sleep in my _bed_ this time," Yuzu offered. "She looks kinda sniffly."

_Well, she _**_had_**_ been sneezing. If she gets sick, she's gonna kill me...! _Ichigo sighed. "Lead the way."

It took very little strength to pry her off this time. "Oh, NOW you'll get off me," Ichigo hissed moodily to no one in particular. As carefully as possible, he shifted her into his arms and took her up the stairs.

Before opening her door, Yuzu turned around and let out a happy sigh. "Can I take a picture?"

"What the- HELL no! Open the damn door!"

She pouted, but cooperated. "Always such a downer, big brother."

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Always the romantic, little sister," he shot back.

Yuzu pulled back her covers ceremoniously, to which Ichigo simply dropped her into the stupid mattress _un_ceremoniously. "ICHIGO!" She hissed. "Women are delicate creatures!"

As if on que, Peyton simply let out a soft snore, sneezed, and rolled over. Ichigo scoffed a laugh. "Ha! Delicate creature. Good one, Yuzu."

* * *

When Peyton woke up, she realized three things:

1. She was in Yuzu's bed. (it didn't look too different than it did from the floor)

2. She still had her clothes on from last night (thank _God_)

3. Her right leg was freezing, along with her left hand being numb under the pillow.

She let out a tired groan and sat up slowly. Peyton stretched, and cringed as she heard her bones pop in a couple spots. As she rubbed her eyes, she wondered where everyone was. Her question was half-answered when Peyton opened her eyes and saw the girls of the household staring at her eagerly from the side of Yuzu's bed. She let out a yell and spazzed, falling off the other end.

They all laughed, and she slowly poked her head from behind the edge. "...Yes? Can I help y'all?"

"I love her accent, it's so different," Rukia chirped happily. Rukia was happy? And _complimenting_ people? Now Peyton was very afraid. Very afraid indeed.

Yuzu flopped onto the bed eagerly, propping up her chin with her hands. "So! How was last night?"

_Damn. I should've known. _The patterns on Yuzu's bed suddenly became extremely interesting as she traced them with her finger. "Oh, it was fine."

"FINE?" they all yelled together, Karin included.

"...Yeah. It was fine."

"What did you do?"

"Anything illegal?" Karin asked with interest, and Rukia nodded eagerly.

"Ummm...I don't RECALL doing anything illegal..." They both groaned with disappointment.

Peyton shrugged and skipped down the hall, to which everyone shot up and followed her. "Where are you going?"

"TAKING MY MORNING PEE, IS THAT OKAY?" she shouted, eye twitching.

Of COURSE Ichigo happened to come out of his room at that exact moment, and he sweatdropped.

"..."

"..."

"...Well, _this_ is awkward," Rukia stated.

"Hey, Ichigo."

"Hey, Peyton."

"What's up?"

"Oh, nothing much. Just scarred for life."

"What, did you get a mental image?"

"OH GOOD GOD SHUT UP!" he cried out, covering his eyes miserably.

Peyton laughed somewhat maniacally and went into the bathroom. "I got first dibs. Mission accomplished."

* * *

It took everybody about three days to stop asking about their "date".

"I think personally it's karma," Ichigo stated as they walked home. Rukia was off in the Soul Society (again?), and she seemed to be in a huge hurry.

Peyton rolled her eyes. "You and your damn karma."

"You believe in it, too!"

She shrugged. "Besides the point. It's not karma, 'cause good stuff came out of it."

They couldn't argue with that one; Jake hadn't walked home with them at all since they ditched him, easing their anger (Peyton) and jealousy (Ichigo).

"That hostess must have shown him a _really_ good time, they're always together now."

Peyton suddenly had a thought. "Hey Ichigo? I just thought of something-"

"Don't hurt yourself."

"Okay, YOU KNOW WHAT?"

"What?"

"...Nevermind. Anyway, I think the fact that I still have your jacket doesn't help the whole We're-Not-Dating-It-Was-Just-A-Spur-Of-The-Moment thing."

Ichigo sweatdropped. "...I never even _thought_ of that." He shrugged. "You can keep it."

Peyton eyed him suspiciously. "...What did you do to it?"

"Nothing! But you've been wearing it, you've contaminated it, you might as well keep it."

"...Honestly, you think I have cooties?"

He laughed. "No, but you never know. Insanity might be contagious."

She pointed a menacing finger at him. "Okay, you know what? I _just might_-" Peyton cut herself off as her head started pounding alarmingly. She couldn't blame Ichigo for being slightly freaked out since she just froze mid-sentence, not daring to move.

"Whoa, are you alright? You look like you just saw a-"

"Sh."

"Did you just-"

"Yes. Please. Quiet."

Peyton glanced around, but saw nothing. "Which means," she said to herself before looking up at Ichigo, who had huge question marks ding-ding-dinging above his head. "...Something's coming."

Now he was alert, too. What with Rukia being all edgy when she left...

"Do you feel it _now_?"

He nodded slowly. "Now that you mention it, I do. ..._What's_ coming?"

"Do I _look_ like I know?" she asked back as quietly as possible, looking around curiously. And then, as if on que, a mysterious-looking guy emerged from the trees to their right. He was wearing casual clothes that you might see at, say, American Eagle; cargo pants with a royal blue polo. His face was normal; dark brown hair with darker wisps in it, dark brown eyes, a scar by his cheek that he could've gotten in something as mundane as a bike accident. It was his expression and aura that made him mysterious. His expression screamed cruel intent, and his aura reeked of some sort of spiritual resonance she couldn't quite place. Similar to that of a Soul Reaper, but...

With his approach, her head threatened to explode, and her body twitched with the sudden impulse to attack. Which frankly scared the crap out of her, considering she had never fought in her life. EVER. Not even in the schoolyard!

"So. Kurosaki and Cullen. It's my lucky day."

Like she usually did in scary situations, Peyton said the first thing that popped into her head. "...You mean, like a twofer?"

The guy gave her a strange yet amused look, and Ichigo sweatdropped. "Okay, you, shut up now. Do we know you?"

He chuckled as if that were hilarious. "No, I should think not. But I know you two. Quite well, actually."

"Isn't that the stalker's motto?"

"Peyton, shut up."

"Prove it, Stalker Guy! What do you know?" she challenged, chin jutting out slightly in defiance.

"Shut the hell up, dammit!" Ichigo yelled, temple throbbing in annoyance. Obviously he had much better battle skills, which wasn't saying much when compared to Peyton's, and knew she was just wasting time.

Obviously this guy wasn't an expert, either. "Alright. Kurosaki. Your last real fight- with a human that is- was in the fifth grade, against a girl. And you lost. Horribly."

Peyton tried not to laugh, but a little giggle escaped. Ichigo immediately got angry. "Okay, look, she was huge! I mean, she had been held back twice! And besides, the-"

"The sun was in your eyes," he finished for Ichigo, who was momentarily stunned into silence.

"...Creepy," Peyton whispered at Ichigo's annoyed expression and the man's smug one.

"As for you, Cullen..."

"BRING IT!"

"...The worst thing you've ever done (in your opinion) was when you were nine, and your brother kept teasing you. You got in a fight, and then placed a rock in the middle of a snowball. A perfect one, might I add. Then threw it at his face. He had a black eye for weeks, and he never fully accepted your apology."

Peyton looked at the ground guiltily, the background turning all depressing. "...That's right, he didn't...He must hate me still...I'm so EVIL, I mean, who DOES shit like that?"

Ichigo sweatdropped. "...You have issues, you know that? Sure he forgives you, it was a stupid damn snowball! SIX YEARS AGO, might I add."

The man sighed impatiently. "If you two are done asking idiotic questions..." He suddenly appeared about five feet closer, making Peyton jump. "If you please, my dear. Good to meet you, Kurosaki."

Peyton yanked her arm out of his grip. "Oh, _hell_ no!" she and Ichigo yelled at almost the same time.

Peyton beamed. "We agreed on something!"

The dude's temple throbbed. "This is ridiculous! I was hoping to indulge in your life force privately and without having to spill extra blood in the process, but it appears you wish to make things difficult!"

Peyton could see the veins in his neck and everything. "...Quick question. Why do you want _me_?"

He seemed to think that was hilarious. "Well, besides the obvious benefits of your young blood...You honestly don't understand your own aura, do you? What you're capable of?"

"I can make a Tower of Twinkies," she offered.

"What the hell are you doing?" Ichigo asked, sweatdropping.

"I don't know," she hissed urgently like a dog whining to go outside and do its business.

Whoever this guy was, he wasn't messing around. Peyton could feel it. Granted, she'd realized right away that seeing ghosts wasn't normal, and she had accepted the fact that she'd better get used to the Hollows that overran Karakura. She knew it _also_ wasn't normal for Ichigo, Rukia, and Renji to wield zanpakutos and be able to exit their bodies and go badass on said Hollows, sure, fine, she was cool with that. But now this guy meant to say her position could get even MORE abnormal? God, wasn't being a high school girl enough pressure?

Ichigo put a hand on her shoulder and could feel her shaking. His grip tightened, and in one swift movement he was all Soul Reaper. She and Kon (in Ichigo's schoolbag, screaming at the top of his lungs like a whimp) practically flew to the opposite side of what was about to be a battlefield.

The man started laughing. "Ah, so the Soul Reaper wishes to pick a fight with me, does he? Hm...This might prove interesting," he murmured to himself, twirling a ring on his middle finger thoughtfully. Finally, he chuckled and nodded. "Very well. Two souls make all the better. _Zeige Dich_, Streik!" he called out, and the ruby ring glowed before unleashing a huge...scorpion.

It had the segmented outer-body armor of one, complete with a giant stinger on the end of its narrow tail, curving up at a sharp angle.

Now somehow in Ichigo's body, Kon scooted as close to Peyton as possible while they both stared up at the creature with wide eyes. "...This might not end well..."

* * *

_**TEN MINUTES LATER...**_

The two winced from the sidelines as Ichigo dodged another blow from the giant scorpion. Not only was its stinger powerful enough to leave craters in the ground, but it left an acidic residue behind on impact. Not to mention that it occasionally spat fire. Needless to say, Ichigo was exhausted, Kon was terrified, and Peyton felt so helpless that it hurt.

It had been going on like this for a good while, and she was getting more and more nervous. As the scorpion and Ichigo fought, she couldn't help but notice the occasional stares the guy controlling the scorpion gave her; they were bloodthirsty, almost like some sort of vampire.

Which was ironic since she _was_ in fact Peyton Cullen. _Ha ha, Stephanie Meyer. Ha ha. Fuck. You. I had my family name first, goddammit!_

A sigh of relief escaped Peyton's lips as Ichigo suddenly sliced the tail off the giant scorpion. It let out a monstrous roar - as if there were any other kind - as it flailed around, its tail and hulking stinger falling limply to the ground as it spurted blood and acid. Ichigo jumped out of the way of the acid, getting grazed by the fire the scorpion spat in the process.

The man had a stricken look on his face as the creature glowed and began to return to the ring. Ichigo turned to look at them, and had just started to smirk at Peyton and Kon's expressions when the scorpion made one last move. It let out another roar as one of its legs elongated, sharpened itself, and plunged into his back. And just like that, it zoomed back into the ring completely.

It was like the world had temporarily stopped moving. They all heard a heart-wrenching scream, and it took Peyton a second to realize it was her own. The man paused, highly amused, savoring her and Kon's reactions. "I am disappointed I couldn't see the expression on your face as you fell, Kurosaki," he commented as he walked towards Ichigo, who had collapsed face-down on the ground.

Peyton hadn't missed it. In fact, his shocked expression as he had locked eyes with her to confirm what had happened before collapsing was like a replay from the Super Bowl lingering in her vision.

The man chuckled sinisterly and raised his foot to kick Ichigo's head with his heavy boot. Her fists clenched as she watched, her fingers starting to tingle the higher he raised his foot, twitching as she heard Ichigo groan.

Finally, she couldn't take the slow dramatic pace he was taking, and Peyton stood up quickly. "Peyton!" Kon exclaimed, voice shaking ever so slightly. The man looked up, foot hovering above Ichigo's head, and she glared at him. "Don't you even fucking think about it."

He looked highly amused by her now. "Oh? What's this?"

"Don't you touch him. If you want me so damn bad, come get me. I'm all yours, just...leave Ichigo alone."

His face fell into a mocking expression in one fluid moment. "Ah, that truly is tempting. But you seem to care about his well-being so much. It's a shame to put those interesting expressions and emotions of yours to waste, don't you agree?"

"Didn't you say I had some sort of power you wanted? Something you found interesting?" she asked, her tone so calm and cold it could cut through steel. Her fingers continued to twitch and tingle, and it almost felt like that time she had touched an open outlet when she was little and been slightly electrocuted.

He cocked his head as she moved to stand less than two feet in front of him. "Eh? You remember that, do you?"

"Just tell me what I have to do. If you know so damn much about it, tell me how I activate it," she offered.

That made him laugh, which just made her more pissed. "You _fool_! I can't just tell you how to use your own ability! You are not near as formidable as I thought you to be! Ahahahaha! Can't even activate your own ability! That's rich!"

Peyton flushed a little, just now realizing how stupid that had really sounded, and he shook his head. "Ahhh, Cullen, I thank you heartily for the laugh. I shall be drinking your life force in just a moment, but for now, I believe I should finish Kurosaki first. I was taught at a young age to always finish whatever I started."

He raised his boot again, and before Peyton really knew what she was doing, she moved to punch him. Of course, the man caught this with ease, but then some sort of dark purple...sparks began to surround her fist, jumping onto his own hand and causing him to cry out before drawing away quickly. He looked as if he had been...electrocuted slightly.

Peyton glared at him defiantly. "Huh. Lookie there. Would that be the 'ability' you were going on about?"

He smirked with satisfaction, panting slightly as he waved his hand back and forth briefly. "Indeed it is. Though, as I said, I doubt you to be near as formidable as I previously thought. ...I hope you don't mind if some of my friends come play with us." He raised his hands, and a huge swarm of mosquito-like monsters rose up out of nowhere.

Peyton sighed exasperatedly, watching the creatures warily as they began to swarm towards them, drawing in tighter around her and Ichigo. "The fuck are _these_ all about?" she practically whined, much to his amusement.

"Cullen, do you not even _comprehend_ my purpose here? I intend to drain you of your life force - souls such as yours are what've kept me alive all these centuries. And these lovely creatures, the bitto, harness the souls and condense them so that I may drink the energy you contain. They even have wonderful little vials ready to store it in for me! And with energy like yours...I can only assume your soul will provide me with immense power, just the sort of power I need to survive in _any_ world, since I am welcome in neither. Besides...Your and Kurosaki's blood are just too wonderful to pass up. Still beautifully innocent, not to mention that both belong to powerful souls in their own rights. The best kind."

Peyton succesfully hid her disgust behind her You're-So-Dead-You-Bastard look. "Did you _really_ just make me stand here through your Villain Lecture? We all know how this is gonna go. You give me the explanation on what the fuck you're doing, I say some kind of catchphrase, and then I kick your ass. Can we just skip to the ass-kicking now?"

He chuckled. "As you wish, Cullen." And with that, the bitto zoomed in towards her in one fell swoop. Peyton ducked, cursing rather loudly before feeling that tingling surge back into her fingertips tenfold. The energy shot out again, and soon it was doing so involuntarily. It continued to do so even after she had fried almost all of the bitto, which made her scared for a minute there that it would never stop surging out. _It...It won't stop! What the fuck? First I don't have any super-special powers or whatever the hell this is, now I can't get them to go away...? Why's this happening? _

The man laughed at the fear on her face as she attempted to keep it under control. "You can't just shoot energy out like that without _some_ form of control, Cullen, you might burn Kurosaki to a crisp if you even manage to pull yourself together enough to defeat me," he warned, obviously highly amused as she forced the strange electricity to stop flowing to her fingers altogether.

Panting, she watched warily as he approached her, grabbing her by the throat. "Perhaps the bitto have failed me this time, but I am more than capable of finishing the job myself." His ring glowed, and her eyes widened.

"Ichigo, get up!" Kon shouted, making her jump slightly. He had been quiet through most of the "battle". "ICHIGO!" he called out again as she began to lose her breath, and the man started laughing as the veins around his eyes and temples started to throb with anticipation.

She could see the hand around her throat begin to glow, and she started to feel faint. Ichigo began to stir as her hands frantically tried to grasp the man's own much bigger palm, making him laugh again as he squeezed her throat even tighter. Finally, she clapped her hands onto his and let herself succumb to the electricity dancing against her nerves, lying in wait just below her skin.

She squeezed her eyes shut as the man screamed, and she fell to the ground as he continued to twitch, her odd energy having jumped onto his body and running all over him. After a few moments, she and Kon watched with wide eyes as he fell to the ground, seemingly unconsious.

Peyton, slightly in a daze from the sudden adrenaline rush and still trying to catch her breath, staggered to her feet before trudging over to stare down at him. Half his left arm - especially the left hand, which he had been choking her with - was burnt to a crisp, and there were a couple pieces to the skin on his face that were missing. The rest of him was either bruised from the inside out or burnt to various degrees.

She inwardly cringed, feeling a little sick from the look and smell of burnt flesh, but remained unnerved as she finished him off by pounding her fist into his chest as the energy let out another surge. "I _told_ you I'd...kick your ass," she commented between pants, laughing a little.

Peyton then remembered Ichigo and started panicking, running over to him and kneeling by his side. Could he breathe lying on the ground like that? "Kon, go get help!"

"From who?" he asked, gulping as she desperately attempted to force the electricity back down.

"Whoever helps Soul Reapers when they're hurt! Hurry!"

She carefully turned Ichigo over as fast as possible, and managed to do it before the next surge ran through her. His eyes were shut. Was he breathing? Peyton put her head against his chest, trying to silence her own heavy panting; he _was_ breathing, but they were way too shallow and ragged.

"Ichigo? Can you hear me?" Nothing. Peyton took off his jacket from around her and slid it underneath his back, which was losing blood way too fast than she'd like and already had made a pool on the ground. In fact, she was sitting in it, but she didn't care one bit. She knew the jacket probably wouldn't do any good whatsoever, seeing as he was almost impaled a while ago, but it made her feel a little less helpless. She pressed her elbow against it, too scared to touch him with her hands until she gained control of the energy again.

This got a groan out of him. "Ichigo? No, don't move," she said somewhat frantically. To keep him from moving, she quickly pulled him until she was propping him up with her legs from his head to his torso, the jacket sliding out from under him and seeping up some of the blood she was sitting in.

"So you move me _for_ me? Dammit, Peyton, that hurts like hell," he whined halfheartedly, and she quickly removed her hands from his shoulders as the energy coursed through them once more. "You're lucky you can still talk."

"It takes a lot to do it."

"Well then shut the hell _up_ for once," she snapped, making him smirk just a little.

"Where's the bastard I was fighting?"

"Dead. I told you to shut up," Peyton said simply.

He opened his left eye just a little bit. "Don't cry, Peyton. I'm fine."

"I'm not cryi-" A tear slid down her cheek and landed on her arm defiantly, making her temple throb. "...Okay, I guess I am. You're not _fine_, you're bleeding to death, you dumbass!"

"Don't make me laugh, it hurts too much. ...Are you okay? I heard Kon...shouting for me..." he muttered, breathing heavy again.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me," she assured him, clenching her fists momentarily and wishing the energy would stop so she could touch him. It was weird to only have her arms against him, hands worked much better.

A few quiet moments passed. All that pent-up energy she never even knew she had was really draining, plus she couldn't think of anything to say. What was she _supposed_ to say after all that? "For the record, Kon ran faster than you ever have for _anything_," she informed him suddenly. He had to stay awake. _Had_ to.

Ichigo coughed. _I thought they only coughed like that in dramas or Western shoot-outs? _"Well, if I make it, I'll be sure to run faster."

"If? There's no _if_, you-you're gonna be fine," she stuttered shakily. "Kon went to get help, you'll...you'll be okay."

"Hey Peyton?"

"What?"

"When I'm...I mean, if I _don't_ make it, can you tell my family they're not so bad after all? Even...Even my dad. Especially my dad," he asked thoughtfully. Peyton nodded tearfully, cursing herself for crying.

"And, uh...I made a will yesterday. Check it out. It's in my desk. You'll have to really look. I didn't want anybody to find it, y'know."

"Why the hell would you make a will when you're 16 years old?" she asked with honest curiosity.

"I dunno. I guess I...was bored," he explained between coughs, and Peyton laughed.

"You better take back all the times you've called _me_ weird, then."

His face turned serious. "Hey. ...Peyton."

"Yo."

"...I'm sorry," he said in a tone so serious that it made her nervous all over again.

"...For what?"

"...Stuff."

"What stuff?"

"I dunno, stuff. I guess for fighting with you all the time. And calling Jake a douche. A lot. And calling you a dumbass...and weird...and freaky...and short-tempered...Oh, and bitchy...and-"

"I get it," Peyton interrupted with a temple throb, eye having been twitching more and more with every new item he added to his list. "Is there a _point_ to bringing up all that?"

"...Well, 'cause you're not any of that stuff. I just kept running out of comebacks with you," he admitted gloomily. "...Well, except for short-tempered. You're definitely that..."

Peyton laughed. "Yeah, I guess I am. And, uh...same here. With the comebacks. Now stop talking all regretful-like. Once you heal up, you're just gonna start fighting with me again."

His breathing was much shallower, if that was possible, and his coughing was more frequent. "Peyton?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm gonna take a nap, okay?"

"Ichigo, you jackass, don't you DARE die all dramatic on me like that!" she fumed, glaring down at him. He managed to roll his eyes a little before searching for her hand, and she hesitantly let him grab it. She used every ounce of energy she could muster to keep that energy from coming to the surface.

"Ow," he muttered suddenly, his hand twitching a little.

She felt color surge up to her cheeks despite herself, trying even harder. "...Sorry about that. ...HEY, JACKASS, I _SAID_ NOT TO CLOSE YOUR EYES!" she shouted suddenly as he attempted to do so, making his temple throb.

"Peyton, just...calm down. I'm fine. See? Would my...Would my temple be throbbing if I...wasn't?" he pointed out, though his breathing and the way his voice was getting further and further off kind of blew his whole theory out of the water.

She stared at him for a moment before reluctantly nodding, blinking quickly to get the tears to stop. "...Okay."

_If Kon doesn't hurry up, so help me..._


	10. Rough Landing, Holly

**Me: So-(sniffles)- we're back.**

**Rukia: (blows nose loudly) ...yeah. (Sniffles) Stupid cliffhanger. **

**Me: I AM SAD TO REPORT THAT I'M STILL NOT TITE KUBO, AND THAT IS MY DISCLAIMER.**

**Lyrics: She calls out the farther that I fly/ I love that sound so give me one more line/From the sky, she pulled me down tonight.  
**

* * *

_"Peyton, just...calm down. I'm fine. See? Would my...Would my temple be throbbing if I...wasn't?" _

_Which had been a lie._

_"Okay." Her hand squeezing a little tighter._

_Five minutes later, Peyton's voice. "No, keep breathing! Ichigo!" A few more breaths. _

_And then...Nothing._

* * *

_**LATER...**_

Ichigo felt like shit. There was no way he could still be alive with this much discomfort. He had probably been sent to Soul Society or Hell or...something. Yeah, that was a lot more likely.

He felt like opening his eyes, but just trying to made his head pound. Eventually, he could open them a bit without the major headache, and saw he was at Urahara's. Speaking of which, Rukia and Hat-And-Clogs were there, talking by where he was laying.

"It makes no sense, that energy she put out...I didn't know a human body could contain something like that without combusting, not to mention she's lucky I helped her get it to stop before she fried Tessai...I honestly have no idea how she - Oh look, it's Sleeping Beauty," Urahara said cooly after noticing Ichigo eavesdropping.

Not like he had much else to do than lay there and eavesdrop. Rukia sighed with relief. "Oh, good, you aren't in a coma. Honestly, I'm gone seven hours and you almost _die_? Fool..."

He knew she was kidding, but scowled at her anyway. Urahara gestured at his stomach. "Cut it kinda close there, Ichigo."

"How long have I been out of it?" It felt like he had been lying there for days.

"Almost forty-eight hours," Rukia answered. Oh. That might be why.

"...Where's Peyton, is she okay?"

"Well, yes and no."

"What the _hell_ kind of answer is that?"

"Yeah, he's back," Urahara commented as Rukia sweatdropped.

"Well, _physically_ she's fine, but she's worn out."

Urahara glanced at a hallway, which Ichigo guessed was near wherever Peyton was, then gestured to a spot on the floor. "That's an understatement, Rukia. Once we got her taken care of, the kid didn't leave that spot right there until Rukia forced her to, about ten minutes ago."

Great, that was his fault, too. He could easily see Peyton kicking his ass - or attempting to - for making her all sleep-deprived.

Urahara poked Rukia, making her jump. "Let's go somewhere else to talk about..._that_," he said mysteriously.

She pointed a menacing finger at Ichigo. "_Don't_ move around too much, you might reopen your wounds," she instructed before slinking out behind Urahara.

The more he thought back, the more he remembered about the fight. Like how hard Peyton was crying when he was basically dead. And Kon's yelling. Urahara's voice. Peyton shouting something about how no one should touch her, she couldn't "control it".

If he thought even further back, he could even remember hearing what sounded like insect wings, and bright purple light dancing against his closed eyelids.

"He's dead...Wait, how did he die?"

* * *

Peyton wanted to sleep so bad, but her stupid mind wouldn't let her. It kept thinking of Ichigo, and worrying, and thinking of a logical explanation for all that energy she shot out.

It had to be some sort of adrenaline rush. Maybe since she had a spirit connection, she had a different kind of adrenaline rush than the average person. And since she was a dumbass, she didn't know how to control it. Yeah, that must be it. Right? Right?

But eventually she fell asleep, and when she woke up, she heard hushed whispering. Peyton slowly stood up, her stiff bones protesting, and shuffled into the hallway.

Rukia and Urahara immediately stopped talking, and Rukia sighed in annoyance. "Goddammit, where can you have a secretive conversation around here, Kisuke?"

She stomped off, and Urahara followed. But not before telling Peyton oh-so-casually, "He's up."

Great. Now she'd _never_ get some sleep. She ran towards the room he was laying in, walking once she was in his view so she wouldn't look like an idiot. Peyton smirked with amusement as she stood patiently by the sliding door. Ichigo was so deep in thought he didn't even realize anyone was there.

So she did what any good friend would do: sit right next to him until he did, which resulted in him being scared shitless.

"What the hell, Peyton? GODDAMMIT, YOU DON'T JUST SNEAK UP ON SOMEONE LIKE THAT!"

She simply laughed. "Hi. You're not dead, after all. ...And it's not sneaking up if you sit beside the person for a good five minutes, dumbass."

"Good to see you were so worried about me," he mumbled moodily. If he only knew she had just left his side for the first time about twenty minutes ago...

But a look in his eye suggested he did.

"Now, why would you do something so _selfish_, like stop breathing?" she scorned with mock anger. "You're such a jackass. I think it has to do with your height."

Ichigo shrugged, then winced at the pain caused by the movement. "Maybe so, but maybe I'm just a really cruel person."

She smiled. "Well, cruel or not, welcome back."

* * *

Ichigo looked her up and down. She had his jacket on again (it was always freezing at Urahara's, something to do with his merchandise), but it was stained with blood. Actually, her clothes were blood-stained in general. She had a couple scratches on her face, but that was nothing compared to the hand-shaped mark on her neck. _So he choked her, huh? That bastard's lucky he's dead already...Oh, wait, that reminds me!_

"Earlier - or I guess, a couple days ago - you said he was dead. What happened to him?"

Peyton paled, and before she could answer, Urahara walked in with Renji, Rukia, Matsumoto, and Toshiro.

Matsumoto perked up. "Oh, good! You're alive after all, Ichigo!" Toshiro reflexively winced at her suddenly squealy voice, which was understandable since he was less than a foot away from her.

Peyton looked so tired and confused that Ichigo decided to be nice. "If you haven't noticed, there's a newbie here," Urahara said before Ichigo could. Damn.

* * *

Who were all these people? Well, obviously they were Soul Reapers judging by their robes, but still. Peyton was so confused, so she just continued to blink up at them blankly, trying not to give in to the urge to rub the mark on her throat. Her throat was still killing her...

The girl noticed her and perked up, flipping her strawberry-blonde hair behind her shoulder. "Oooh, who's this? I'm Matsumoto, lieutenant of the 10th Divison," she explained proudly while holding out her hand eagerly.

"...Peyton," she said hesitantly before shaking it. "And this is my Captain, Hitsugaya. And you know Renji."

Peyton and Toshiro exchanged a sort of half-nod of acknowledgement. The Captain looked about the same age as her, if not younger. Odd. His white hair was even more odd, but she supposed hair color should be the last thing to surprise her nowadays.

Matsumoto was bouncing with excitement, which with the way she was dressed was not a good thing; her boobs (or maybe inflatable rafts was more appropriate) were threatening to pop right out of her shirt. "So, how do you know Ichigo and Rukia? Do you have a brother? What size are those, B or C?"

Toshiro cleared his throat in annoyance, and she shut up while Peyton tried hard not to process that last question. "We're here for a reason. A REAL reason."

She turned serious. "Oh, right. Take it away, Rukia."

Now both Peyton _and_ Ichigo were lost. "The man you fought wasn't _just_ a man, though that much should have been obvious. He was a Bount, Ichigo, in case the Doll wasn't enough of a clue for you."

"I KNEW IT!" Renji yelled, at the same time that Ichigo yelled, "That's impossible!"

"Calm down!" Rukia snapped, and they both shut up.

"I thought they were all dead, and the only one that could have kids died with them," Ichigo said in confusion.

"So did we, but new evidence suggested otherwise," Toshiro answered.

"What _kind_ of evidence?"

"Does it matter? He's dead either way. That's not the main reason we're back," he answered cooly.

"_She_ is," Matsumoto stated, pointing at Peyton.

She sweatdropped. "Gee, no pressure or anything."

"Do you remember what happened between you and the Bount yesterday?" Rukia asked casually.

"Yes..."

"Do you remember HOW it happened?"

"Ummm...adrenaline rush? Caffeine, maybe? That V8 I had that morning?" she replied carefully. They sweatdropped. "Look, I don't know," she snapped defensively. "All I know is that it just HAPPENED."

"I am _so_ lost right now," Ichigo commented.

Renji nodded. "They lost me at Bount."

Rukia sighed. "Yesterday, I was summoned to Soul Society for a possible threat. Hundreds of strange souls and what looked like bitto were converging all over Karakura for seemingly no purpose. Then another presence came up. Something I myself have never witnessed. And all the souls and bitto that had appeared were suddenly eradicated and sent to their proper dimensions in a matter of minutes."

"Twelve minutes, forty-four-point-seven seconds, to be exact," Matsumoto added seriously.

"When Kon came to find me, he told me what happened between you and this Bount. Rukia and I put our heads together and found _you_ were the new presence," Urahara explained.

"..._Damn_," Renji said to break the silence, and Urahara looked his way.

"Hey, wait. Renji, if you had no idea about all this, why are you even _here_?"

Everyone looked at him. "Uhhh...actually, Strawberry's little sister sent me."

"How the hell did you run into my sister?" Ichigo demanded to know, temple throbbing.

"Dude, she ran into me! She was all 'Ichigo hasn't come home, make sure he's not off doing anything stupid,' and then I heard you were here and now here we are."

Everyone else sweatdropped. "Whatever," Rukia said impatiently.

"So...let me get this straight...Peyton's a Soul Reaper?"

"That's the problem. Peyton, what kind of energy did you _emit_, exactly?"

"Uhh...it was, um, dark purple. And it looked like electricity. Felt like it, too. And once it stopped, I couldn't really stop it, but...that was probably my fault."

Matsumoto suddenly looked troubled by this, biting her lip in thought. "No zanpakuto, no uniform," Toshiro clarified.

Peyton shook her head. "No, nothing like that. I stayed in my own body, too."

"So basically, she's an USO?" Renji asked.

"A _what_?" Peyton asked him.

"An Unidentified Spiritual Object."

"Okay, I am NOT an object, and I am NOT an alien, thank you very much!"

"Who said anything about _aliens_?"

"Well, it sounds _way_ too close to UFO."

"Wait wait wait!" Matsumoto yelled before their idiotic argument could progress any further.

"I remember something like that...Something about the electric energy she described...but it was literally centuries ago, it might've been an urban legend by the time I was even born," she said thoughtfully. "I know I've heard it, though..."

"I've got tons of those works in my library, I'll dig for some stuff," Urahara offered casually. Great. Peyton was now a research project for Soul Reapers. It was just what she dreamed of being as a little kid.

Matsumoto suddenly perked up again and looked from Rukia to Peyton excitedly, then to Ichigo. "And I'm _happy_ to announce we'll be here for quite a while to keep an eye on Peyton and those powers of hers. Right, Captain?"

"...Yes, how wonderful," Toshiro replied with hardly any inflection. Then Rukia randomly got all mad at everybody, shouting that Ichigo needed rest and Peyton needed food, and they all dispersed immediately.

Matsumoto pumped her fist. "Yes! WacDonald's it is!"

"But McDonald's is so much better," Renji protested as they ran out.

"Bring me something back," Ichigo called after them, he and Peyton exchanging a grin and already thinking of ways they could snoop through Urahara's merchandise when everyone left. Matsumoto grabbed Peyton's wrist and practically dragged her along, dashing all her hopes of being nosy, and Ichigo whistled the funeral theme innocently.

"You want some _more_ injuries?" Peyton snapped before she was yanked out the doorway.

* * *

**R****ukia: (claps) YES!**

**Ichigo: Stop yelling, dammit!**

**Me: (baby voice) aww, does the big bad Soul Reaper have a headache? **

**Ichigo: (death glare) **

**Me: (clears throat nervously) Well, uhh...review! Or Ichigo will get angry. **

**Ichigo and Me: AND YOU WANT LIKE ME/HIM WHEN I'M/HE'S ANGRY!**


	11. Toxic

**Well. I'm back! Sorry about that, I had an awesome idea for a new story and had to get it out there. You know. **

**Ichigo: No, we don't. We have lives.**

**Me: Don't make me Chris Brown you.**

**Ichigo: Ohhhh noooo. I'm shaking in my boots. (total sarcasm)**

**Me: Damn STRAIGHT you are! (Innocent voice) Anyways, enjoy!**

**Ichigo: (turns to Rukia) ...She scares me sometimes.**

* * *

Two weeks later, Peyton was so bored that she decided to take a walk. So there she was, on the brink of belting out to Dashboard Confessional, when Ichigo popped up right in front of her. Peyton screamed and fell off the curb she'd been balancing on as she walked, making him bust out laughing.

"Goddammit, Ichigo! That's not funny!" she whined, standing up and brushing herself off with a temple throb.

"Do you always get this jumpy around Halloween?" he asked with a hint of a laugh still in his voice.

"No. Your _face_ scares me year-round," she shot back smugly.

"Okay, I'll let you have that one," he said in grudging defeat, falling into step beside her.

"Don't you have something more productive to do than scare me? Like, oh, I dunno...defeating Hollows or training so you can continue to at least HOPE to be as badass as me?"

"Nope. Don't you have something more productive to do than walk around aimlessly? Like, oh, I dunno...training with Hat-and-Clogs so you can continue to keep from frying everyone stupid enough to touch you?"

"Nope."

"No training or anything? Seriously."

"No, Ichigo, I'm at Urahara's right now. This is just a hologram," she snapped in annoyance.

He drooped. "That's not fair...When he was training me, I was lucky to use the goddamn BATHROOM between sessions..."

She sweatdropped. "Thanks for sharing. Maybe I'm just progressing quicker than you did," she said innocently, making his temple throb menacingly. "Are you stalking me now or something?" she asked, trying to change the subject before they got in an argument for the next ten minutes over training.

"No, you wish. I was told by Rukia that if I didn't find you, I'd be punished severely. And with Rukia, I take that _very_ seriously," he muttered. They both cringed at all the mental images of what Rukia was capable of doing.

"What does she want, and why couldn't she find me herself?"

"Well...it's a long story, but basically she needs your help with finding a costume."

Peyton waved him off. "Baahh, that's easy!"

"Yeah, she mentioned something about wanting to look, and I quote, 'sexy'. So I also went to get Matsumoto after pointing out you were the _last_ person to go to when it comes to the sexy department," he called out as she ran off to find Rukia.

She stopped dead in her tracks, turning on her heel to look at Ichigo as he smirked at her. "...WHAT. Was. That?" she asked, eye twitching as an evil aura surrounded her.

"You heard me," he said smugly, but his face fell when she started stomping towards him. "Um...Peyton, I was just kidding...C'mon, I nearly _died_ two weeks ago, let's not be rash...PEYTON, HAVE MERCY!" he shouted, running for his life.

"GET BACK HERE, JACKASS!"

* * *

_**FIVE HOURS LATER...**_

"For the hundredth time, Chappy is unacceptable!" Matsumoto and Peyton yelled from outside the dressing room, five or so stores later.

"But I picked up a, uh...'Sexy Ms. Chappy'. Can I wear that?" Matsumoto was about to say "Whatever," but Peyton looked absolutely petrified, so she said, "NO, Rukia." Ignoring Rukia's complaining from within the dressing room, Matsumoto looked at Peyton with a quirked brow. "What happened to you?"

She looked at her with a temple throb, hair sticking out randomly and a bruise already showing up on her arm. "...Ichigo happened."

"Ichigo did that to you?" she asked with slight alarm, and Peyton rolled her eyes.

"Yeah. He looks much worse, trust me. ...Plus, I kicked him in the balls by mistake, so I kinda deserved the punch," she muttered, referring to her slightly-swollen cheek.

Matsumoto sweatdropped. "...And...what brought this on?"

"He accused me of not being sexy basically," she muttered with slight embarrassment, knowing it sounded stupid as soon as it left her mouth.

"...I didn't know Ichigo beat up girls," Matsumoto commented with a giggle. "It seems pretty unlike him!"

"He usually doesn't. I don't think he really considers me a girl, I piss him off and kick his ass too much," she grumbled, the thought making her a little depressed.

Matsumoto pouted. "Well, we can't allow that. Halloween's coming up! Perfect time to remind him you're a woman! ...Or at least remind his 'little friend'," she said thoughtfully.

Peyton turned bright red, spastically waving her arms. "M-M-MATSUMOTO!"

"Or big friend, it could be either way! ...They say you can tell by the size of his hands. I haven't checked his hands, maybe we should next time!" she said with a rather mischievous glint in her eyes.

"What're you two talking about out there?" Rukia wondered.

"Just girl talk, Rukia!" Matsumoto replied cheerfully. "Right, Peyton?"

She just crossed her arms, sinking lower and lower in her chair. "Right...Just as traumatizing as it usually is..."

"...I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I SHOULD BE! NONE OF THIS IS SEXY!" Rukia suddenly shouted, making them both jump.

Matsumoto sighed heavily. "There's plenty of sexy things here, you just have to know where to look!"

Peyton grabbed a random costume. "For example, er...Cat Woman! She's plenty sexy! And played by Halle Berry."

"Think of her as Yoruichi in superhero form," Matsumoto added.

There was a long pause, and then Rukia flung open the dressing room door. "...Where's the Cat Woman costume?"

* * *

_**TOMORROW MORNING...**_

When Peyton got to school, she immediately smacked Ichigo upside the head. "Ow! What was _that_ for?"

"Why didn't you tell me we could wear our costumes to school today?"

"Rukia could've told you!"

"I thought she knew!"

She looked from Rukia and her cat ears to Ichigo and his Chuck Norris outfit.

"You both suck!"

Keigo popped up as Ichigo opened his mouth to shout something perverted back at Peyton, and checked her out. "What are _you_ supposed to be? You look like your normal beautiful self!"

_**BAM**!_

"...Love hurts," Keigo groaned from the floor. Ichigo and Rukia exchanged a smirk, while Orihime and Tatsuki shook their heads sadly.

"I pity the guy, I really do."

"He's so annoying, though."

"Isn't he?"

* * *

_**THAT AFTERNOON...**_

"Are you done YET?" Peyton yelled at Lindsay. "If I was done, I wouldn't still be messing with you, now, would I?" she yelled back as she applied more mascara.

She then shoved her head down, tousled her hair, applied more of that magical Touch Me Hairspray, and simply stated, "Flip."

As Peyton rolled her eyes and did so, a random gong noise rung out in the background for emphasis. The two sisters sweatdropped. "Am I the only one who immediately thought of Cameron Diaz in Charlie's Angels?" Peyton asked.

"Okay, NOW, what're you gonna wear?" Lindsay wondered, tapping her chin and shifting weight from one go-go boot to the other. She had ironed her blonde hair so it was pin-straight, pulled it back with a headband, and had on black eyeliner and thick mascara that contrasted nicely with her bright blue eyes. She was also wearing a black-and-white mod 1960s minidress with irregular black and white circles all over it. Complete, of course, with huge hoop earrings and white go-go boots.

"...Oh, CRAP, I forgot to get one!" Peyton moaned.

"How? Halloween's, like, your favorite holiday."

"I was too busy talking Rukia out of getting a Chappy costume!" she wailed, banging her head against the counter of her bathroom repeatedly. Right on cue, her bedroom door slammed open, and Peyton and Lindsay whirled around to look. In strode Matsumoto, who tossed something to Peyton. "Good thing your good pal Rangiku was determined to ensure Ichigo saw you could be sexy, or else you'd be screwed!" she said cheerfully.

"...Matsumoto, what're you supposed to be?" Lindsay asked with a sweatdrop, looking pointedly at her revealing-as-usual clothes as Peyton gaped down at the package in her hands.

"I'm not dressed yet, Lindsay," she replied with a sweatdrop of her own.

"Phew, good, you scared me for a second there! ...Peyton, why do you look so pale?"

Peyton looked up at Matsumoto. "...I think you handed me your costume by mistake. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?"

"It's a gangbanger costume! ...Thought it'd be funny."

"B-B-But, look at that neckline! And what's with the lacy bra?"

"Oh, I picked that one out at Victoria's Secret. It'll look much better than an undershirt, trust me on this."

"Matsumoto, you've got to be kidding me. This..." She trailed off, shaking her head in disbelief. Lindsay took the package, ripping it open and laying out the outfit for her own approval.

"...Rangiku Matsumoto, you're a genius," she declared cheerfully, and Peyton's jaw dropped.

"TRAITOR!"

Matsumoto just giggled before heading for her bedroom door. "Just put it on, Peyton. You'll thank me one day," she assured her, winking before leaving the room.

Peyton sighed heavily as Lindsay handed her the bra. "...Goddamn it, I can't believe I'm doing this."

* * *

_**FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER...**_

When Seth saw her as they went down the driveway, he yelled and covered his eyes.

"Ahhhhh! NOOOOO! That can NOT be my baby sister!" Orihime giggled, arm linked through his, and Peyton sweatdropped.

"What, I can't be attractive?"

"Attractive, yes. Sex kitten? Hell to the no! MY EYES!"

Lindsay rolled her eyes. "You're just pissed 'cause now you're thinking really dirty thoughts with someone's head juxtaposed where hers should be."

"...Maaaybe...C'mon Orihime, let's go before I have to watch the boys drool over her and become scarred for life. I don't want this image permanently etched into my brain," he said quickly, making Orihime laugh some more.

Peyton bit her lip as she followed Lindsay, trying to ignore the stares she was feeling from random passersby. "Linds, are you sure this is a good idea? I don't wanna look like a slut..." she muttered as a kid ran past her giggling. Their mom took one look at her and steered her kid clear away from her, which wasn't exactly comforting.

Lindsay laughed. "Sis, the whole point of Halloween IS to look like a slut! ...Either way, you don't look like a slut. You just look hot. I know it's new to you, but welcome to the Hottie Club. You're a temporary member!" she said cheerfully, making Peyton sweatdrop.

"And somehow, I can actually picture this being a club..."

* * *

_**FIVE MINUTES LATER...**_

"You sure they said meet up at Urahara's?" Lindsay asked her as they checked their phones for about the millionth time.

"Yes!"

Then the door randomly threw open, and there they all stood. Rukia and Ichigo were arguing over who would win in a fight, and Matsumoto was adjusting her nurse's cap.

"I'm telling you, Chuck Norris wins all!"

"But Cat Woman kicks ass! Trust me, I watched all the movies she's in with Karin and Yuzu for two days!"

"Not more ass then Chuck Norris!"

"Oh yeah?_ I'd_ win, 'cause I'd_ shoot_ you both," Peyton commented from the sidelines. "Now drop it, before a catfight breaks out."

They glanced at her to shout at her to stay out of it, but both ended up doing a double-take. Ichigo's jaw hit the ground, and Matsumoto giggled. "There you are!"

"What the hell are you supposed to be?" Renji wondered.

"Gangbanger. Apparently, it's supposed to be funny," Peyton said dully, looking at Matsumoto as if trying to kill her with her eyes.

Rukia eyed her in disbelief. "You'd think, knowing you. But, damn-"

"That's the hottest gangbanger costume I've ever seen," Toshiro commented, making everyone turn to look at him.

Toshiro shrugged. "It needed to be said."

Ichigo sweatdropped. "How ooc can you GET, Toshiro?"

Matsumoto grinned proudly. "It was all me! You're welcome, Peyton!"

"Well, we all know Peyton couldn't do it herself," Ichigo commented.

_**BAM! THWACK!**_

"Ow! GODDAMMIT, WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" Ichigo shouted, rubbing his head where she'd smacked him.

Peyton stuck out her chin defiantly. "I could _too_. If there was anyone around here worth _doing_ it for," she snapped.

"Oooooohhh," everyone commented from the sidelines.

Ichigo and Peyton sweatdropped, glaring at them meaningfully. "Oh. Right. Moving on, let's go get some candy!" Matsumoto yelled to change the atmosphere.

Ichigo sweatdropped after a few moments, looking at Peyton funny. "...Why the hell do you keep staring at my hands?" he asked suddenly, making Matsumoto start laughing uncontrollably as Peyton turned bright red.

"U-Uh, it's nothing."

"Sooo, Peyton, how big're his hands?"

"SHUT UP, MATSUMOTO!"

* * *

It was understandable that virtually every guy they passed had to look at least two more times at the girls.

Rukia in her slinky leather CatWoman suit, complete with spiked-out hair, knee-high stripper-esque boots, and cat ears.

Matsumoto and her slutty nurse uniform, white with red piping that only covered from her collarbone to her upper _upper_ thigh, with _plenty_ of cleavage. Her nurse's cap was set stylishly askew on her head, seemingly falling off her strawberry-blonde locks, yet perfectly in place. Complete with white go-go boots.

And then there was Peyton, with her "Hot Gang-Banger" as Toshiro so fondly called it.

Pin-stripe suit that hugged her body with only three buttons keeping it together, causing a midriff that showed off just what kind of training Hat-and-Clogs was giving her. And, just to tease him and virtually every guy passing by, did she wear an undershirt? Oh, of course not. She wore some lacy bra that was apparently a pretty damn good push-up.

The pin-stripe short shorts rested on her hips and stopped way above her knees. She had fishnet stockings on, too. Of course, it didn't matter that she was wearing orange-and-black Converse. Not like that was what the other guys were checking out.

Her hair was tousled to perfection and running wild all over the place, and she had some kind of eyeliner thing going that made her eyes look bigger than usual.

...And he basically got all those descriptions from Matsumoto's comments, because the only thing that went through his mind concerning all three of them was that they looked hot. But, c'mon, he was a guy. He couldn't quite help it, no matter how much he wanted to.

And believe him, he wanted to. Especially since he knew Peyton caught him every time he tried to sneak another look at her.

* * *

_**ENTRY #...#...6? AH, WHO'S COUNTING THE ENTRIES? IN MY MANLY JOURNAL OF THINGS OF A MASCULINE NATURE:**_

**Needless to say, the girls got extra candy from the houses where the dads were handing out candy. **

**Which was kinda sick, but I couldn't really blame the poor guys. **

**Whenever Matsumoto "dropped something", she got six extra. Just throwing that out there. **

**I think I nearly had a heart attack and spasms when I saw Peyton's costume. Because, I might as well say this: Peyton looked hot. **

**H-O-T.**

**HHHHOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTT.**

**Smoking. **

**Well, anyway. I think you get the point when I say, Peyton looked extremely hot. Which caught me off guard, since I didn't think that was even possible. She's cute, I guess, sure, but hot? That's more Matsumoto's domain, isn't it? And what about Rukia? Where the hell did THAT come from? Cat Woman my ass...she probably just wanted to wear leather and cat ears...**

**Why can't Halloween be a holiday every day?**

**BUT, this does NOT mean I like Peyton. Well, I like her, sure, but not like THAT. **

**Did I think perverted thoughts about her all through Halloween?**

**Hell yes. **

**Do I like her like that?**

**No, I don't think so. I mean, NO.**

..**.No, absolutely not. **

**Stop questioning me!**

**Oh great. I'm contradicting an inanimate object about whether or not I like a girl.**

**This is by far the most pathetic dia-...JOURNAL...I have ever seen in my life. **

**And I've seen plenty of people's journals!**

* * *

It took Peyton about an hour to get ready for bed that night, between wiping her makeup off, washing all the product out of her hair, and having to do all sorts of maneuvers to wriggle out of her skin-tight shorts.

And then she got the perfect idea right after flopping onto her bed in her boy's boxer shorts and Batman t-shirt. She immediately picked up her cell phone, but before she could dial the number, her phone rang.

She jumped with a yelp before shaking her head at her stupidity and answering it.

"...Hello?"

**_"What are you wearing?"_**

"Rukia, I know it's you. I was just about to call you, by the way."

**_"Splendid, but it was a serious question. I don't think you want Mr. Kurosaki and his friends to see you in your costume," _**Rukia said in a hushed tone as there was cheering in the background.

**_"TOUCHDOWN!"_**

Peyton sweatdropped. "Call it instinct, but I'm guessing they're watching football?" _...I didn't even know they GOT football on normal Japanese stations...not after Dad had to go through all that bullshit to order some special football package or something..._

**_"I think that's what it's called. But I was wondering if you wanted to go to the movies with me, Ichigo, Matsumoto, Toshiro, and Renji to see Paranormal Activity."_**

Peyton giggled giddily. "I was calling to ask you that! Meet ya'll there in ten minutes."

**_"Great!"_**

"I know!"

_**CLICK. **_

* * *

_**NINE MINUTES LATER...**_

"_And_ she's prompt," Matsumoto was saying as Peyton ran up with her ticket in hand.

"Huh?" she asked, blowing some wet hair out of her eyes impatiently and trying not to laugh at the obvious disappointment written on Ichigo's face at the sight of her pajamas.

Matsumoto blinked innocently. "Oh, I was telling them reasons as to why Keigo would do that."

"Do what?" Peyton asked slowly.

"Serenade you," she said as if it were obvious.

As if on que, they heard someone tuning up their guitar. Everyone but Matsumoto (who was jumping up and down excitedly) slowly turned, question marks dinging over Peyton and Ichigo's heads.

Keigo gave them a wave. "Hi."

"...Hi."

"I made you a song!" He said cheerfully.

Peyton sweatdropped. "Oooookay. Go for it, chief."

Keigo cleared his throat, then started strumming.

* * *

**"_Peeeyttoooonnn,_**

**_I was the first person you talked to in Karakuraaa._**

**_Peeeyttoooonnn,_**

**_I couldn't wait to get to know yaaaa._**

**_Peeeyttoooonnn,_**

**_I still can't wait to say something else to yaaaa!_**

**_If only dumb Ichigo would let me once in a whiiiillee."_**

During his quick guitar solo (which was basically just weird strumming), Peyton gave Ichigo a weird look, to which he just shrugged in a "Like I know what he's talking about", innocent-like way.

Whatever.

**"_Peeeyttoooonnn,_**

**_I've never seen hair so pretty and red,_**

**_Peeeyttoooonnn,_**

**_Your face (nor your ass) won't leave my head,_**

**_Peeeyttoooonnn,_**

**_I know I suck at singin',_**

**_But Peeeyttoooonnn, your costume this year was BANGIN'!_**

More of his weird strumming. Peyton's face was turning all sorts of red, and Ichigo looked about to have a spasm if his twitching eye was any indication.

**"_Peeeyttoooonnn,_**

**_I wish I was your best friend,_**

**_Instead of that guy right there with the strawberry-lookin' head,_**

**_And Peeeyttoooonnn,_**

**_I know that you'll probably never speak to me again after this sooooooonnng!_**

**_But now you know!_**

**_That I want you so._**

**_So if you finally see how stupid Ichigo is, _**

**_Feel free to call me up._**

**_Or MYYYYYY_**

**_SPAAACCEEEE_**

**_MEEEEEE!_**

**_And by the way, your new furniture looks great from the tree in your front yard!" _**he added quickly and somewhat quietly.

He then thumped against his guitar for emphasis.

_**DUM-DUM-DUM-DUM!**_

* * *

There was a good minute of total silence, both from the group around Keigo and Peyton and the random passersby that had stopped to listen to the song. Rukia looked confused, Toshiro and Renji were shaking their heads in pity, and Matsumoto had a sappy look on her face, totally oblivious.

Ichigo looked weirded out and pretty pissed, and Peyton's "Why Me" expression and sweatdrops were nearly bigger than her actual head.

"...Thanks, Keigo. For that. I'm gonna go watch my movie now. With my friends. Feel free to not follow me. Anywhere. EVER. Also, thank you for helping me solve the mystery of the treehouse in that tree in my front yard." With that, she strolled into the theater, and the stares of the people who had been outside during his "Serenade" followed them.

"Gee, I sure wish _I_ could sing like that," Renji said innocently.

_**BAM! BAM! SLAP!**_

"Oh good God, she's gone postal!"

"NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN," she warned everybody. Everyone but Ichigo nodded fearfully.

_Great. __Everyone's going to know about it by Monday._

* * *

**Me: Damn. Poor Peyton.**

**Ichigo: Poor Peyton? Poor Renji! He still has the bruises!**

**Rukia: I just think Keigo's a dumbass.**

**Ichigo and Me: (together) Well, we already knew that. ****(together all excited-like) HEY! ****(together) WE DID IT AGAIN! ****(narrow eyes at each other, then shout together again) STOP IT!**

**Me: (growls)**

**Ichigo: ...Ummmm...REVIEW! Maybe then she'll spare my life!**

**Me: (seeing the total promotion opportunity in this) Why, YES! YES I WILL! ONLY if you review.**

**Ichigo: (gulps) but...but you didn't specify an amount! That's not fair!**

**Me: (dangerous voice) Who said I was fair? You better start running.**


	12. Put A Ring On It

**Me: I would say this is a random filler fluff chapter, but I've deduced that this whole story is random, so scratch that. ALTHOUGH, I'm right about the fluff part. So go me.**

**Ichigo: ...Oh god, not THIS part!**

**Me: (evil grin)**

**Rukia: ...I thought it was sweet.**

**Ichigo: EXACTLY!**

**Me: That's why it's so great. He hates it.**

**Ichigo: Eat shit.**

**Me: Maybe some other time. Anyways, read, review, and enjoy!**

* * *

"WHOA!" everyone yelled out for the millionth time as the demon screamed and dropped something heavy downstairs. Even Peyton, Karakura's Queen Of Horror Flicks, jumped and reflexively hid her face, peeking through her fingers. "...I LOVE this movie!"

Matsumoto looked like the true face of PUMPED a few seats over. Like, edge-of-her-seat, open-mouthed _into_ it.

Toshiro _tried_ to look casual and calm, but Peyton knew from past experiences why he was resting his legs on the bar in front of their seats so high. Rukia and Renji were practically one person the way they were huddled together over there, they were that freaked.

Ichigo and Peyton exchanged a grin and he wolf-whistled at them while she waggled her eyebrows at the two upon catching their attention. Thus causing the people behind them to kick their seats, Rukia and Renji to throw popcorn at them, and a few people to laugh nervously, obviously freaked about the movie and glad for any distraction.

The two sweatdropped. "...Well, it was worth it. When's the scary gonna start back up?" Peyton wondered. No sooner had the words come out of her mouth than the little clock in the bottom right part of the camera's screen stopped going in fast-forward, and the creepy sound-effect that tipped them off to a scary part approaching started back up again. She bounced in her seat excitedly, making those sitting next to her sweatdrop. "Yay! This is awesome!"

* * *

_**AN ****HOUR AND A HALF LATER...**_

"...And it creeped me out every time she just _stood there_ by the side of the bed for hours on end," Ichigo was saying.

"See, if I were Mica and she was acting like that towards the end, I'd dump her on her ass instead of getting totally OWNED by a demon," Peyton commented, and Rukia nodded in agreement.

Matsumoto waved them off. "Eh, I would've kicked her to the curb the _minute_ she started sleepwalking. That would be enough to give _me_ the creeps!"

"True that. The chick was hot, but freaking psycho," Renji stated.

Toshiro held up a finger. "Well, it wasn't entirely her fault. The demon had been attached to her essence since she was a child, Renji."

Renji drooped. "You just _have_ to ruin it, don't you?"

"Hey Peyton, didn't you guys have a house fire a few years back?" Ichigo asked slyly. "Maybe you should check your attic for any missing pictures when you get home, eh?"

Peyton made a face and shoved him half-heartedly. "Shut up, Strawberry!"

"Oh, c'mon, Strawberry again?"

"Fine. Shut up, Strawberry SHORTCAKE."

"Ha. How ironic, seeing as I'm all TALL, and you're all SHORT and...and all...I'm sorry," he said quickly as she gave him a look that could kill.

Renji chuckled. "You're so _whipped_, and you're not even going out with her yet!"

"Shut up, before I whoop your ass! AGAIN," Peyton warned. Everyone else laughed at his expression (well, Toshiro half-chuckled as usual), and Renji's temple throbbed.

"You're just pissed 'cause Keigo plays the guitar better than you EVER will."

"LalalalaLAAAla, I ca-an't HEAR YOUUUU!"

"OH, _REAL_ MATURE, PEYTON!"

"WHATCHYA GONNA DOOOO ABOUT IT, RENJI?"

Everyone else watched with fresh sweatdrops as they had a stupid shouting match for the rest of the time until they all went separate ways.

* * *

Peyton ended up spending the night at the Kurosakis' again, after Rukia methodically creeped her out enough to make her too scared to sleep for a while. Ichigo scoffed as he opened his front door, and Rukia strolled under his arm with ease.

Peyton narrowed her eyes after noticing he was looking at her smugly. "What?" she asked defensively.

"You. You get creeped out that easily? It's funny."

"I am NOT creeped out, Ichigo."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"YEAH?"

"...You just can't think of anything else to say, _can_ you?" She accused.

"...Tch. No, that's not it at all!"

"Hit me with your best _shot_ then, Ichigo," Peyton teased, smirking.

"I'm not sure if you could handle it, and I hate making girls cry."

"Try me." They had a stare-off, and finally Ichigo pointed inside with a temple throb.

"Just come in already."

"...Thank you," Peyton commented casually as she strolled into the house, and he shut the door behind them.

"Don't mention it. ...Midget."

"At least I'm a _hot_ midget."

"What gave you that idea?"

"Well, let's see. Rukia told me so, _Keigo_ told me so, Matsumoto told me so repeatedly, and the looks _you_ gave me all night told me so. So...yeah, I've drawn the conclusion that I am _one_ _hot_ _midget_ when I try," she explained thoughtfully as she sat on the couch beside Rukia tiredly.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Oh, whatever. Your hotness is a matter of opinion."

Peyton nodded. "Yes, you're right. Some people would disagree with you and find me less attractive. But I guess we know better, hmm?"

"W-Whoever said you were attractive!"

"We've been over this already, dumbass!"

Ichigo pointed a finger at her and was about to retaliate when Rukia glared at them both. "Will you two give it a rest, already? God! The only demons around here are _you two_!"

* * *

The weeks went by, Thanksgiving came and went. By the way, watching the Soul Reapers stuff their faces after taking two hours to explain why Lindsay was flitting around the kitchen frantically trying to fix meals as if she had chugged five cans of Red Bull was funny as hell.

Actually, no; the expression when she OWNED Toshiro in a soccer match after he beat her five times in a row was funny as hell.

But now it was a few weeks before Christmas, and Peyton was pissed. It was hot and itchy, just like your average dressing room. Man, she hated trying on clothes. She slipped on the cool fabric, made sure the slip and such were on correctly, and opened the dressing room door.

Lindsay immediately beamed. "Oh, Peyton...You look great!"

Peyton crossed her arms. "If you say so. I'm just ready to GO. Can we go? Because I have sweat in places I didn't know sweat could gather."

They were trying on bridesmaid dresses, MUCH to Peyton's chagrin. Miya wasn't trying on her wedding dress until January, so she was using Peyton and Lindsay's dress endeavours to amuse her until then.

Lindsay rolled her eyes at Peyton's whining. "Suck it up, sis, you're giving me a headache. Miya, she's done!"

The fiancee-in-question strolled over gracefully, deep black hair swishing with her fluid movements. She broke into a huge, unsettlingly bright smile. "It's a _perfect_ fit! I knew that blue would look great on you, and the pattern does really good at making it look like you_ just might_ have actual curves."

She got a huge temple throb at that. _Look like I MIGHT have ACTUAL curves? What, there's a fake kind out there?_

Peyton smiled through gritted teeth, eye twitching slightly. "Thanks. _Now_ can I go?"

Miya laughed and waved her off. "Sure, don't forget to give Lindsay your dress."

"Yeah, or we'll have to make this _wonderful_ trip _aaaaall_ over again," Lindsay added, voice dripping with sarcasm as she blew her blonde bangs out of her eyes.

* * *

_**ENTRY NUMBER...SOMETHING:**_

_Sigh. It's almost Christmas. It's gonna be **so** weird with some different woman hosting like my mom would, not to mention spending it in a totally different town - hell, totally different CONTINENT. It'll only be the second Christmas without Mom, so it's gonna be really...well, weird...I'm still not all that used to it. _

_Not that I have a personal problem with Miya or anything. __Although, she makes me look so awkward in comparison. She's like a freaking ballerina just walking to get some potato chips! And she never gets food babies. EVER. NEVER EVER. _

_She's got more of a chance of being mistaken by a Twi-hard for a Cullen than I do. ME. And I had the family name and sports talent to help me out! If Stephanie Meyer had any say in it, I'm sure she'd agree. And soon, she'll be Mrs. Cullen. Does that not just blow your mind to bits? __It blows mine. Almost more so than Keigo's song. _

.._.That...was the MOST HORRIFIC experience of my life! Well, not near as bad as when I thought Ichigo was dead, but you get the point, right? _

_He basically admitted to CAMPING OUT IN MY FRONT YARD._

_AHHHHHH! FUCKIN' HELL!_

_...Sorry. The creepiness of that just suddenly hit me like a Tidal Wave of Brain-Rape, I had to get it out..._

* * *

"Are you going?" Rukia asked a few days later, having been visiting Urahara's shop for some random Chappy merchandise.

"Going to what?" Peyton asked, drinking some water and wiping sweat off her forehead as she tried her best to stop panting in front of all these Soul Reapers.

"Holiday party," Matsumoto stated as if it were obvious, sipping some sake. She was more commonly known around Karakura as the Schoolgirl All The Other Schoolgirls Wanted To Rip Apart For Having Much Bigger Boobs.

"For our year. Well, your year. My pretend year," she clarified with a casual hair-flip. "Captain, you're going, right?" she asked, blinking all doe-like.

Toshiro, who looked like he should be placed on Suicide Watch at the thought, sighed. "...Yes. Yes, I am."

Peyton and Rukia exchanged a smirk; she'd noticed he seemed to have a problem saying no to Matsumoto. She then sighed heavily, leaning against the table and trying to get her breath back to normal. She'd just finished her latest training session, in which Kisuke'd had her purposely lose total control of her electricity while gripping Tessai's arm, meaning she had a limited time to _regain _control until his arm was completely fried or the volts killed him. And if she tried to let go of Tessai's arm, Urahara would whack her repeatedly upside the head with Benihime in its cane form until she gripped it again. Which hurt like hell, by the way. Stupid pimp cane of a zanpakuto...

Thankfully, the volts would've taken longer to kill him than regular electricity since her electricity...well, wasn't exactly _electricity_. Apparently, it was how her body manifested the spirit energy within it that allowed her to see spirits. Or something like that, it was hard to keep up with information when he and Yoruichi kept shoving new random facts down her throat and changing old ones.

She smiled apologetically at Tessai as he came through, arm wrapped up in gauze with a bit of steam still wafting from it. "...Sorry about your arm," she offered, making Rukia and Matsumoto sweatdrop.

"YOU did that?"

Toshiro sweatdropped as well. "Rangiku, you were here when it happened. Didn't you hear them?"

"Hear what?"

"Tessai shouting for her to stop apologizing while Peyton kept shouting 'I'M SO SORRY!' over and over while shouting various comments about Kisuke's sanity. I could hear them all the way from outside," he replied with a sweatdrop, continuing to peer at his Soul Phone in hopes that a Hollow would show up. It had been kind of slow lately, now that the Bount was gone and wasn't attracting extra ghosts and Hollows.

Tessai shook his head, lifting up a crate bigger than Peyton with one hand and making her jaw drop. "...I've suffered worse, Peyton," he said simply before walking towards the back of the shop.

Renji shook his head before speaking suddenly beside Peyton, making her jump since she hadn't realized he was there. "_Damn_. ...Hey, could you fix the straw for me?" he asked, making her temple throb. She sighed heavily before ripping the plastic wrapper off the straw and practically impaling the juice box with it. "THERE."

Renji gulped before sitting next to Rukia. "Th-Thanks, Peyton."

"Any time!" she said cheerfully, picking up her water bottle. "Well, I think I've fried enough people today. I guess I should get going."

"Peyton, before you go, we found the full story on your tinglies," Urahara stated.

Everyone sweatdropped besides Peyton, whose eye started twitching. "Tinglies?" Matsumoto repeated, biting her lip to keep from giggling.

"...He calls it that just to piss me off," Peyton grumbled as Kisuke hid the lower half of his face with his fan._ And he's succeeding...What a jackass._

Renji started laughing, smacking his knee for emphasis. "HAHAHAHAHA! Ohhh NO, the TINGLIES - HEY!" he shrieked suddenly as she launched a low-powered ball of the "tinglies" at his head. He dove out of the way before it could do much damage, resulting in some of the static charge to bounce onto the wall behind him.

Peyton laughed nervously as merchandise fell off the precarious (and pretty tall) stack, making Urahara's temple throb. "...That was Renji's fault," she informed him, pointing at the Soul-Reaper-in-question.

"NO IT WASN'T! YOU TRIED TO KILL ME!"

"Oh, puh-lease! It wouldn't kill you! Just...make you have seizures. MAYBE," she added at the sweatdrops that appeared throughout the room. Yoruichi chuckled as she hopped onto what was left of the stack of merchandise, in her cat form as usual. "Tell her, Kisuke."

"Oh, right. Anyway, it took a ton of searching, but I found it way back in the library - on the top shelf, mind you. Some sort of old folklore, like Rangiku had said. It mentioned a woman who walked with the living, but assisted the dead. Yet she had no zanpakuto. She was an ally of The Soul Society, like some sort of prophecy."

"...But without the prophecy part, basically?" Renji clarified, slurping some of his juice box from his spot on the floor.

"...Yeah," Urahara admitted with a sigh. Yoriuchi rolled her eyes, and Peyton sweatdropped.

"Then why even say it was like a prophecy? That's just plain confusing."

His temple throbbed as he whipped his fan back open extra loud, slapping Peyton on the head with it in the process. "Ow!"

"Where was I? Oh, right. So, in a nutshell, this woman - like you - harnessed her spirit energy, her soul, _aaaall_ her spiritual power, into the same sort of _tinglies_ as you do."

Renji and Matsumoto started snickering again, making her temple throb. Again. "Keep going, I beg of you," she grumbled.

"Gladly! Basically, where Soul Reapers have zanpakutos, you have _tinglies_."

"SHUT UP, RENJI!"

"The _tiiiiinglies_! Ohhhh NO! I'd pay big money to see Aizen reveal his master plan with some power called 'tinglies' thrown in somewhere," he said between laughs, and that thought made everyone else start laughing.

"Who the hell's Aizen?" Peyton asked, and Urahara sighed heavily.

"Yoruichi, care to wrap this up for me?"

"Since you seem so incapable. In the legend, the woman's name was Sumi. She tapped into her tingl - ...powers...when she was nineteen. Her childhood friend was killed by a Hollow, and she exacted her revenge by newly acquired 'beams of regal righteousness', according to the legend," Yoriuchi explained.

That got both Renji _and_ Peyton snickering, making everyone sigh. "What's so funny about that?" Rukia asked.

"Righteousness, maaaaan!" Peyton managed to get out between laughs, invoking a Surfer Dude accent.

"RIGHTEOUS, duuuude, RIGHTEOUS!" Renji chimed, making the two of them laugh even harder.

"Purple is usually associated with nobles and regality," Rukia stated suddenly, making Peyton's laughter slow a little upon remembering they were still talking about her. "Regality equals immense power as far as the nobles are concerned. It makes sense."

Yoruichi nodded. "Exactly. Basically, your power is incredibly strong, if your aura and the way your training has gone so far is _any_ indication. That doesn't mean you can just use it when you please. You saw for yourself what could happen; when you faced the Bount, you nearly injured Ichigo and yourself even further because you couldn't control it. Just like a Soul Reaper must learn to control _their_ reiatsu and maintain it, you have to learn to control and maintain your own. Not to mention that using that ability in heavy quantities causes extreme exhaustion, and could even cause internal damage if you let it run rampant within you. Luckily, you have Kisuke helping you with training and guidance Sumi didn't have; she never learned to properly control it, and eventually it consumed her from the inside out. If Kisuke here keeps training you the way he has, we shouldn't have any problems, and eventually you'll be able to master it. I'll keep my eyes open for more works on Sumi or any predecessors to see if we can answer more questions about your abilities, Peyton."

With that, Yoriuchi slunk around the corner. "Well, that's enough lecturing for today. I'm off to nap."

Peyton nodded, making a clicking noise with her tongue before heading for the entrance to the shop to slip on her shoes. "Thanks, guys. Well, I guess I'll see you..."

"Tomorrow!" Kisuke chirped. "For your next training session!"

She drooped at that. "Riiight..." As she was leaving, Renji started snickering again, making her temple throb majorly.

"Heheheheh...tinglies...OW!" he shouted as she threw Rukia's shoe at him from the doorway.

* * *

_**A ****WEEK LATER...**_

"Oooh, it's georgous!" Matsumoto commented, Peyton's necklace flashing in the sun.

Rukia nodded. "I agree," she said simply, eyeing the necklace with slight envy. Peyton grinned, and Ichigo eyed them strangely as he joined their walk to school.

"What're you two crowing about?" he asked, scowl already set on his face for the day.

"The necklace he got Peyton!" Matsumoto answered.

"...Who?"

Peyton waved him off. "Eh, it doesn't really ma-"

"It was Keigo, wasn't it?"

"No!"

Ichigo scoffed. "Uh-huh. Sure. Keep telling yourself that."

Peyton narrowed her eyes. "Well, even if it WAS Keigo, it's a nice gesture, so NEH!"

"Neh?"

"NEH! Means in your face."

Ichigo scoffed again, but his eyes lingered on the necklace. Dammit, it was pretty and expensive-looking. Peyton simply continued talking with the stupid girls, totally ignoring him.

He_ hated_ when she did that.

And she knew it.

* * *

**All the girls "Oooh"ed and "Ahh"ed over Peyton's stupid necklace. **

**I don't see what the big deal is, it's just JEWELRY!**

**When I told her that, Matsumoto went all romantic on everyone and sighed.**

**She was all, "Oh Ichigo, to get jewelry from a guy is like..like.." **

**And then Rukia said, "Like dating a girl who loves Xbox just as much as you guys do."**

**So, I deduced jewelry is a huge deal for chicks. But then Peyton suddenly was like, "Hey, wait, what's so rare about a girl loving Xbox?"**

**Great. That's just fucking fantastic, she loves Xbox. Way to make me like you a little more, you goddamn midget.**

**...You know...If it WAS Keigo, he could've rigged it with a GPS so he knew where she was at all times!**

**I cannot allow this.**

**So, I feel it is my right- nay, my DUTY- to TOP that necklace so she'll stop wearing it!**

**YEAH!**

_Huh. Good plan, Ichigo. Who knew you sounded so smart. Maybe you should make up lame-ass excuses to want to get Peyton stuff more often, then people won't think you're such a loser with the girls._

**KARIN, GO AWAY!**

**...**

**...I just realized. I forgot to write my title.**

**SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!**

* * *

"...Hey, Peyton?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you notice something...I dunno, _off_ about Ichigo today?" Orihime asked worriedly during lunch, popping a rice ball practically drowning in honey and relish delicately into her mouth.

Peyton glanced at him. He was currently wearing his "Calculating My Next Move" face while fixing Toshiro's straw into his juice box.

"...No, not really. Although, he usually doesn't think so much...hmm..."

Orihime nodded slowly to herself. "I bet that straw must be causing him a lot of trouble. That would explain why he's thinking so hard, right?"

Peyton sweatdropped, eating another pretzel stick. "...It's possible."

"_I_ bet it has to do with you," Tatsuki commented, making her temple throb.

"Goddammit, Tatsuki, not you too! There's nothing going on between us. At all. Nothing."

That made Tatsuki sweatdrop. "Uh, actually, I was just figuring it had to do with you since he keeps glaring at you every ten seconds." The girls turned to look at Ichigo, catching him glaring at her just like Tatsuki had said, and Peyton scowled at him. "Hey!"

He scowled right back at her, as if he hadn't just been caught staring. "You got something you wanna say, Cullen?"

Her eyebrows shot up. "Do YOU, Kurosaki? You looked at me first."

"Tch. I wasn't looking at you!"

"So what _were_ you looking at, huh?"

"The, uh...That...wall over there," he replied lamely, making Renji shake his head in disappointment.

Peyton laughed at him, making his temple throb. "Sooo, Ichigo, what's got you acting so weird lately?"

This, of course, led to them shouting at each other for the next five minutes.

"TELL ME!" Peyton yelled for the hundredth time.

"NO," Ichigo yelled back.

She kicked a random can in annoyance before jumping to her feet and stomping over to him. "Gah! You're freaking impossible!" she declared.

"No, YOU'RE impossible!"

"You're MORE impossible!"

Then a slow grin spread across her face, making him wince. "What's that look for?"

"Wait a minute...this is all because of _this_, ISN'T it?" Peyton asked, holding her necklace up for emphasis.

"Tch. No. Don't flatter yourself, Cullen, it's an ugly look for you."

"Mm-_hm_. Don't try and fool me, Kurosaki, it's a stupid look for you."

* * *

_**THREE ****DAYS LATER...**_

"Oh c'mon, the slide-tackle was SO legal, Renji didn't call it," Peyton argued.

"That's because he's the worst referee in history!" Toshiro shot back.

"Hey!" Renji commented with a mouth full of food, making Rukia laugh. Matsumoto had gotten sick after lunch; a group of freshman girls seemed suspiciously happy about it, and they HAD been lurking around her lunch earlier that day...

"You're just mad 'cause I beat you, AGAIN, you big baby," Peyton teased. She was pretty much the only person Toshiro allowed to even_ hint_ that he was younger or shorter than other Captains, and even she didn't get away with it without a sharp glare or - if it was smack-talk during a game of soccer - rather aggressive slide-tackles.

He probably allowed her to somewhat get away with it because she wasn't a Soul Reaper, was short as well, and was close to his age. Rukia glanced behind them, then quickly turned away with a grin. Weird.

"Anyway, this means you owe me twenty-five, crisp, brand-new-" Peyton cut herself off as something was slipped over her head and around her neck. She spazzed, grabbing the person's arm and flipping them over her with a shock of electricity for good measure.

Ichigo groaned, and she winced as everyone else sweatdropped, laughing nervously. "Oh...Sorry, Ichigo..."

He stood up. "Dammit, Peyton, that fucking hurt."

Her temple throbbed. "Jackass, that's why you don't just sneak up on me outta nowhere! Jeez..." Then she realized there was something around her neck, and slipped it off. It was a necklace on a thick brown cord, and it was the _color_ of gold, but there was no way it was seriously gold._ PLEASE don't let it be real gold..._

It had Japanese symbols etched into it; after a few seconds of pondering, she realized it was her name. She gasped and looked at him. "No way. This is for me."

"Yeah."

"ME...?"

"Did I stutter? It's got your name on it, doesn't it?"

Renji raised his hand proudly. "I knew about it first!"

"...Ichigo, why'd you- There's no way I could- I mean, i-it looks so expen-"

He waved her off. "Consider it an early birthday present. And it only set me back twenty bucks or so."

"Tch, try two hundred," Renji muttered, and Ichigo smoothly stomped on his foot.

"OW! GODDAMMIT, STRAWBERRY, THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR!"

"Just be sure to wear it more than Keigo's," Ichigo said simply, ignoring Renji's shouts of protest. Peyton grinned and slipped the other one in her pocket before sliding his back around her neck.

"...Thanks, dumbass."

_...I guess I COULD tell him Seth gave it to me for my birthday, but...nah._


	13. No Sleep Tonight

**Me: Well well, Ichigo. Care to tell everyone a summary of this chapter? (smirks slyly)**

**Ichigo: (turns bright red) ...NO.**

**Rukia: Well, there's a party, and-**

**Me and Ichigo: SHUT UP RUKIA!**

**Me: (Clears throat) Er...i mean, you don't wanna ruin it.**

**Rukia: (nods slowly) ...Yes, I suppose you're right.**

**Me: I'm always right.**

**All Together: REVIEW!**

**Lyrics: You can't stop this/feeling/You can't run away/Baby, i'm whats on your mind/****You can't stop this/feeling/There's no escape/****No sleep tonight/You won't get/no sleep tonight!  
**

* * *

"Don't forget! Tomorrow night at seven!" Matsumoto shouted after Peyton as she went with Orihime to her house. Apparently the Soul Reaper needed a break from Urahara's for a few days, and Matsumoto had also informed Orihime that the latter was in "serious need of girl-talk". Therefore, Peyton felt extremely bad for Orihime, but laughed and nodded before waving bye to them regardless.

"Ichigo! You're going too, right?" she shouted after a few moments. This, of course, earned her his trademark scowl.

"Yeah, Rukia already twisted my arm behind my back about it," he informed Matsumoto, who just flashed a rather devilish grin before whirling around to talk to Orihime.

Ichigo and Peyton exchanged a look, both of them sighing heavily. "Ichigo, though it pains me to say it, we think alike with things like this. Please tell me this party thing's worth going to," she muttered miserably.

"Depends on your definition. While there's eighty other things I'd love to be doing instead, if I push that and all the suicidal thoughts out of my mind, the night's bearable," he explained thoughtfully. This, of course, made her droop.

"...Great. I'm feeling suicidal before I even go!"

Rukia rolled her eyes as they both drooped and let out more heavy sighs. "Would you two get a grip? Ichigo's I'm-Too-Cool-For-This Act was hard _enough_ to deal with without _you_ joining in, Peyton!" she snapped.

"Well, if we're so hard to deal with, why should we go to that party with you?" Peyton asked innocently, which earned her a smack upside the head. "OW!"

"YOU'RE GOING."

"...I still don't see what the big deal is, it all seems pretty damn stupid - OW! CUT IT OUT!" Peyton shouted as Rukia hit her upside the head again.

"Yeah, Rukia, she needs all the brain cells she can get," Ichigo said casually, laughing when Peyton moved to smacked him upside the head but hit a street pole by mistake after he dodged it. "Owww...you jackass, that HURT!"

"Serves ya right. You have enough trouble reaching my head when I'm standing still, thanks to how fricking short you are, why would you even try?"

Peyton simply growled at him in reply, holding her poor hand and stomping ahead to walk with Rukia defiantly. "You're still a jackass," she shouted over her shoulder.

"...Girls. I don't understand them," he declared to himself with a shake of the head.

* * *

As soon as Peyton was alone the rest of the way home, she dug Seth's necklace out of her pocket and slipped Ichigo's under her shirt. Guys could be so stupid sometimes; forget to put on their necklace ONE day, and you might as well have drowned some puppies in a creek.

Peyton shook her head; she still couldn't believe Ichigo did that. She was NOT worth two hundred dollars, ask anybody! _Dumbass... _Almost as soon as she stepped inside, even before the scent of dinner cooking could hit her full on, Seth searched her neck for his gift, then nodded. "Ahh, you remembered. I saw you were wearing someone ELSE'S necklace the other day..."

"Seth, stop using your Mobster Voice, it's fucking annoying."

"Say that again, and you'll be sleepin' with the fishes."

Peyton and Lindsay exchanged an eye-roll, and Miya's chuckling could be heard from their kitchen. She carefully sidestepped the mistletoe in their doorway out of instinct. She still cringed every time dad and Miya _conveniently _went through doorways at the same time. It was just so...so...WEIRD.

Okay, sure, her dad was attractive and not too old. Not even forty yet. But still...how could HE land a chick like _Miya_?

Even Lindsay was skeptical about Miya's motives at first. "But Peeeyyy-ton," Lindsay said with a sigh later that Thursday night, "You just _know_."

"Know what?"

"That they love each other. By the way they _look _at each other. And the way they _brighten up _when the other one's around. And the way they _kiss_," Lindsay said happily.

Peyton seriously gagged; was Lindsay just WATCHING THEM make out or something? The very thought made her lunch want to come back up; she knew they were doing a lot more than kissing, that was common sense, but that didn't mean she wanted to THINK ABOUT IT. She wasn't even making a joke when she'd gagged, but Lindsay hit her for it anyway.

"Just wait. You'll be that way with someone one day."

"Oh? And what about _you_?"

Lindsay blushed and hit her again. "Ow! Why's everyone in this family so abusive?" Peyton shouted.

"What, you mean like you?"

"...Yeah."

That made her laugh, and she shook her head. "You'll find out tomorrow night at the party. _Which_ you're going to be at, even if you use the yellow fever excuse like you did for mid-terms that one year."

"Oh c'mon, I was so convincing!" Peyton whined. "I even bought the right powder for my skin and EVERYTHING! I was freaking committed! I should've gotten an award or something, but _nooo_, I got in-school suspension for _two months _instead!"

* * *

_**THE ****NEXT DAY...**_

"_Why_ do you do that again?" Tatsuki asked as Peyton went through her usual ritual of necklace-switching in homeroom that day.

"She's too nice to tell him he got her that necklace for no apparent reason, seeing as Keigo didn't give it to her," Matsumoto answered.

"Well, that, and the fact that it's worth two hundred and pure gold doesn't hurt, either," Rukia replied matter-of-factly.

Peyton shook her head in Ichigo's direction; he was currently engaged in another stupid-ass argument with Renji over something, it sounded like pickles. "I still can't _believe _he did that. He's such a dumbass..."

"Maybe Renji was just joking about it being real expensive," Tatsuki offered. "I mean, why would Renji say ANYTHING that would make Ichigo look remotely like a good guy? Don't they hate each other?"

"Ehhh, it's more of a love-hate kind of thing," Rukia and Matsumoto said simultaneously, sweatdropping as Renji kicked Ichigo into a wall.

"DILL PICKLES ARE BETTER ON HAMBURGERS, JUST ACCEPT IT, PINEAPPLE HEAD!"

"GODDAMMIT, STRAWBERRY, THE SWEET ONES HAVE A BETTER TASTE!"

"SWEET PICKLES ARE A FREAK OF NATURE! JUST LIKE YOU! NO _WONDER_ YOU LIKE 'EM SO MUCH!"

"WELL, IF YOU LIKE YOUR DILL PICKLES SO MUCH, WHY DON'T YOU _MARRY 'EM_, STRAWBERRY? CAN I BE YOUR BEST MAN? _**HUUUUUH**_?"

All the girls (and most of their classmates) were sweatdropping heavily by this point, and Peyton shook her head. "They need to stop kicking each other into walls and shit, they're losing too many brain cells."

Tatsuki shook her head as well. "On second thought, Ichigo's _stupid_ enough to buy you something worth two hundred dollars. I withdraw my statement."

"...I still think what Ichigo did was sweet. But at any rate, you better be coming to that party, Peyton! We all know how you try to weasle your way out of these things," Orihime insisted, making Peyton resist the urge to roll her eyes. If one more girl reminded her about the goddamn party, she'd skip it just to piss them off.

"...You've been listening to Seth, _haven't_ you, Orihime?" She blushed, making Peyton laugh. "It's fine, he's totally right. Did he tell you about the Yellow Fever Epidemic of 2009? Hit around mid-terms? Tragic, really..."

* * *

_**LATER ****THAT NIGHT...**_

The music could be heard almost completely around the corner from the party's location. It made her feel sorry for the dumbasses hosting the party, no doubt they'd have one hell of a clean-up. Before opening the door, Peyton sighed. She could already tell this night was going to be crazy, but if the music was any indication, maybe it'd be a _good_ kind of crazy. Yeah! Maybe. _...Aw, dammit. __Oh well. Too late to call it off now._

She pulled open the door...

...And the first thing that greeted her was the sight of a random guy swinging around a pole, singing "Beautiful". While Peyton tried not to let her jaw drop to the floor (_Is that a LAMPSHADE on his head?),_ Rukia swung an arm around her shoulders and steered her to the bar.

"I guess you noticed Lampshade Boy. Not exactly as good as Christina Aguilera's version, eh? Ichigo tells me every high school party has at least one." Peyton laughed and nodded. "I guess he's right. ...Rukia, are you drunk? They servin' beer here?"

Rukia gave her a weird look. "Pffft. No! Lampshade Boy brought his own. The beverages here are strictly non-alcoholic. And since when have _I_ ever been drunk?"

"Well, you just look all...all...drunk-like."

"I'm not drunk! I'm just...I'm not sure, actually. Yuzu and Karin had a handful of some sort of candy they brought home with them, and they let me have it all. ...Said there was an American in their class that brought them."

"What were they?"

"...Pixie Sticks, I think..." Rukia said thoughtfully before giggling. "I feel like my head's buzzing! Whooo!"

Peyton sweatdropped, watching Rukia run off to teach Matsumoto "this sensational new dance Isshin introduced me to, the Chicken Dance!". "Oh dear God, I'll need therapy after this," she muttered with a facepalm, unable to look away from the almost unholy sight.

"Better yet, you wanna borrow the toaster after I toss it in my bathtub later?" Ichigo asked from behind her, making her jump with a yelp.

"Either that, or you can just feed me to the Hollows and THEN go suicide," she replied glumly, making him laugh.

"Perhaps you could join me when I feed _myself_ to the Hollows," Toshiro offered in the same dull tone, which made both of them jump as he calmly sipped his drink.

"WHERE THE HELL DID _YOU_ COME FROM?"

* * *

After quite a long time of dancing and mingling, with the occasional exchanged suicidal looks between the three, Matsumoto went onto the stage and sang a rather interesting rendition of "Party in the USA." Peyton was busting a gut laughing by the end of it, and she wasn't alone.

"I loved how she changed 'Party in the USA' to 'Party in Karakura'."

Orihime nodded. "She was pretty dedicated. She even changed the American sights to ones here."

Renji laughed. "Yeah, well, what about the dancing? And I thought _Miley_ was hot..."

Rukia's temple throbbed at that, and Peyton rolled her eyes. "He's a guy, Rukia, jeez."

"Yeah, but that's just plain bad taste on his part," Ichigo commented, making Peyton nearly spit out her drink with laughter at Renji's expression.

"HEY, Strawberry, I don't judge YOUR thing for Jessica Alba!"

"But Jessica Alba's hot."

"Well, I disagree."

"And I disagree about your thing for Jennifer Love Hewitt."

"And I disagree about YOUR thing for Brittney Murphy!"

"Well, Renji, I completely disagree with YOUR thing for Megan Fox!"

Everyone within a seven-foot radius turned to look at him with a gasp, Peyton included. "...Ichigo, are you stupid?"

"Is that a trick question?" Renji and Toshiro asked at the same time, making Ichigo's temple throb.

"Seriously, I thought virtually every male primate in the world was in consensus with Megan Fox's hotness level, Renji and yourself included," Uryu stated out of nowhere, adjusting his glasses in that superior way of his.

Ichigo shrugged. "I just don't see it. For one thing, you can tell she's bitchy and it just ruins her for me. Plus, I've seen hotter celebrities if you REALLY wanna go there. Aaaaand not to mention that since so many other guys think she's hot, it makes me wanna NOT think she's hot even more," Ichigo concluded importantly.

"..."

"..."

"...As long as we both agree that Penelope Cruz and Halle Berry are two of the hottest women to walk the earth."

"Agreed."

Tatsuki shook her head, Orihime picked her jaw up off the floor, and Peyton was laughing her ass off at the expression on Rukia's face. "Guys are such pigs."

"They just said what everyone else is thinking. Although I _will_ say this: I kinda figured Ichigo was more-or-less completely and totally oblivious to _anything_ with boobs and a vagina," Peyton muttered, making Orihime spit out her drink all over Matsumoto as Tatsuki laughed her ass off.

"I thought so too!"

* * *

"Hey Peyton, you thirsty?" Rukia asked slyly, successfully scaring the crap out of Peyton after showing up out of nowhere. Although she had to admit, she was welcome for the distraction; words couldn't describe how undeniably bored she was. Sure, she was talking and whatnot, but she wasn't really into it. She _really_ just wanted to take a nice hot shower and lay in bed while watching tv and maybe eating some ice cream. Yeah, Peyton was lazy, so what?

She sweatdropped as she snapped back to reality, looking at the full cup in her hand pointedly. "Ummm...no, Rukia, I'm good."

"Well, come with me, I'm thirsty as hell!"

"You have legs, don't you?"

"So do you, so you shouldn't have any problems keeping up with me!" she said matter-of-factly, grabbing her cup from her before grabbing her by the arm and dragging her along. Which...was pretty embarrassing considering she was shorter than even _Peyton_.

Peyton rolled her eyes. "How about instead of pulling my arm out of its socket, you just tell me what the hell this is all about?" Rukia's answer was to give her a firm push (with the help of Matsumoto, who bounded right over as if called), making her practically fly into Ichigo.

"What the _hell_, you guys?" Ichigo asked Rukia and Matsumoto, temple throbbing.

Peyton furrowed her eyebrows. "Kidnapped you too, huh?"

He nodded, which just made her smirk. "And...they managed to do this how_?_ Jeez, Ichigo, aren't you strong enough to fend off a couple girls?"

"S-Shut up! They caught me by surprise, alright! And what's your excuse, couldn't you have just shocked 'em to death?"

She scowled in reply, and he scowled right back, but then they both looked at each other funny after realizing Toshiro was whistling innocently and kept glancing up. This made Peyton really suspicious; since _when_ did Toshiro actually act his presumed age, and for that matter, since when could he even _whistle_?

Then Rukia and Matsumoto waved some cash back and forth in their lines of vision, which they watched like dogs being teased with treats. "Forty bucks each if you do it."

"...Do WHAT?" they asked suspiciously, snapping out of their dazed state and forcibly averting their eyes from the money. Renji popped up out of nowhere and pointed upwards, smirking rather smugly at them. They both stared at the most ominous plant in the universe dangling above them.

"...Mistletoe?" Ichigo asked them dumbly. Peyton popped her knuckles and glared at Rukia ominously, trying to get the point across. Matsumoto decided to kick it up a notch and turned to look at the group that had somehow formed. Did everyone just somehow get the memo without the two victims knowing, or what?

"All in favor to them abiding the mistletoe rule, say aye!"All the two could hear were "Aye!"'s, and Peyton's face fell. Even Keigo, her stalker, and Lindsay, her own flesh and blood, yelled out "Aye!" enthusiastically. Which would make sense, since Lindsay had introduced him as her boyfriend about an hour ago. Thus making yet another person spit out their drink.

She also saw Jake and his hostess girlfriend joining in the shouting, which was just plain depressing considering he was the only guy in Karakura that had been genuinely interested in her at one time.

They looked dumbly at each other as a cheer of "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" broke out, and Peyton thought of painful ways for the person who started the cheer to die.

"Well...we _are_ getting paid," Ichigo said slowly.

Peyton nodded thoughtfully. "O-One kiss never hurt anyone, right?"

"R-Right."

"I mean, it's not like it would _mean_ anything," she said with a nervous scoff.

"Tch. Never, absolutely not," he agreed just as nervously, clearing his throat to try and get the shakiness out of it.

Peyton nodded. "...Okay."

After a few moments of excruciating slowness on both their parts, the dread and awkwardness written all over their faces, Peyton finally sighed and grabbed him with both hands by his jacket. "Goddammit, you dumbass! Just hurry up and get it over with so I can get my forty bucks!"

At the same time she pulled him closer, he leaned in, and BAM! They were kissing.

...And kissing.

...And still kissing.

And then her grip on his jacket tightened a little as his hand moved to caress the side of her face, along her jaw line. They were completely oblivious to the wolf-whistling, or Toshiro and Renji's jaws dropping to the floor.

"Shouldn't one of them need air by now?" Orihime asked Matsumoto, who just giggled in reply.

Finally, Rukia cleared her throat rather loudly as they continued to kiss. "I never said you had to make out."

They both instantly opened their eyes, moved about five feet apart from each other, and blinked dumbly at everybody. Matsumoto started to clap, and soon everyone was laughing. Lindsay put an arm around her sister's small frame, shaking her head slowly. "Goddamn, sis. I think you just earned about _eighty_ dollars there."

Renji and Toshiro were currently picking their jaws off the floor, and Rukia shook her head as Renji started to grill Ichigo about the whole thing. But both of them kind of tuned them all out; the scowl quickly returned to Ichigo's face, and Peyton managed to maintain a bored expression despite all the blood rushing up to her face and the heat still in her cheeks. But they both were thinking the same thing:

_What the fuck did I just do?_


	14. Funhouse

**Me: In this chapter begins a rather long-**

**Rukia: But SO FUN!**

**Me: (glares) ...Filler. Arc. Type thing. **

**Ichigo: (sweatdrops) Mandy, you DO realize that this whole story is basically randomness, so there's no real plot at work here? Meaning the purpose of a filler would be defeated?**

**Me: ...SHUT UP. **

**Rukia: (eyeroll) Because that comeback always gets you far in life.**

**Me: YOU SHUT UP TOO.**

**Ichigo: Tch. Idiot. Anyway, read-**

**Me: Review!**

**Rukia: And ENJOOOOY!**

* * *

"I can't believe you guys are turning this _down_!" Peyton cried out in disbelief, drooping rather comically as they continued to shake their heads.

Lindsay sighed in exasperation. "Look, I'm going out with Keigo at _least _three times during the time we'd be there! Not to mention I'm seventeen. I'm too old for that kinda stuff."

"Sis, you're NEVER too old for this!"

"I still say no. We have a WEDDING to plan, too!"

Peyton looked to Seth, giving up on her sister, but he just shrugged. "I got Orihime. ...Plus, I'd have to babysit you the whole time."

Her temple throbbed menacingly, making Miya wince. "BABYSIT ME? I'm fifteen, dumbass, I don't NEED babysitting!"

"Yeah, you're fifteen. Meaning I'd be the only one there that could drive, even have a CHANCE at buying beer, and do all that other good adult stuff to keep me sane. While babysitting you. Because I'm eighteen. And therefore am exponentionally more badass to the third power. Get it? 'Cause you're fifteen, and I'm -"

She didn't let him finish, opting to toss a can of whipped cream at his head. "JEEZUS, P, NO NEED FOR VIOLENCE! VIOLENCE IS NEVER THE ANSWER!"

"Nope. Violence is the question, and HELL TO THE YEAH is the answer," she replied simply.

"Did Ichigo teach you that?"

"NO! ...Renji did. But seriously, you guys, you KNOW we used to have all kinds of fun there. And you _never_ get tired of it! C'moooooon...Please?" The two siblings exchanged a look before shaking their heads, making her slump even further in defeat. Great. She _knew_ Miya and her dad wouldn't go.

Peyton sighed heavily, shaking her own head. "God, I hope I _never_ fall for anyone as hard as y'all have! Or get grumpy and tasteless..." She rubbed her temple with her left hand, tickets and packets in her right.

And that's when she got an idea, a horribly wonderful idea. A slow grin spread across her face.

"_I_ know who'll go!" And with that, she ran for the door.

"...Sure, hon, I give you permission to ask someone to go across the country with you without me!" Dad called out after her.

"GREAT!"

His temple throbbed as Lindsay poked her head out the front door her sister had left wide open. "So...Where's she going _now_?" he asked them.

Miya, Seth, and Lindsay looked at him as if he were an idiot, and they all said just one word:

"Ichigo's."

* * *

"Okay, you guys are going to _love_ me," Peyton told everyone as she was let inside.

Ichigo just sighed as he shut the door behind her. "Oh, hey Peyton. Sure, come right in. I'm fine, thanks so much for asking, how are _you_ today?"

She promptly ignored him, just like everyone else, much to his agitation. "What's with those tickets?" Karin asked.

Peyton grinned. "What if I told you I had six tickets for Disney World in Orlando, Florida, and I wanna take you guys?"

Yuzu, Karin, and Isshin immediately shot up. "I _love_ you!" Karin and Yuzu shouted, and Isshin gave her a huge bear hug.

"AH! HOW KIND OF YOU! YOU HAVE _TRULY_ EARNED THE TITLE OF MY _WONDERFUL_ FUTURE DAUGHTER!"

"Dad, she's turning blue," Ichigo pointed out, and he let go with a laugh.

"And yet she still looks stunning! Yet another trait I need to add to my calculations..." he muttered to himself, making Ichigo and Peyton shudder at the thought of...well...whatever the hell he was "calculating" for.

Ichigo then scowled down at her. "Alright, did you buy those off Ebay or what?"

Peyton shook her head. "Nope. My mom worked for the airlines, so we get free flights and stuff all the time. She gave Dad the account, and we get ten buddy passes a year. So _I_ decided to use the ones we had left since we first flew over here. Merry Christmas!"

"When are we leaving?" Yuzu asked eagerly, practically - no, literally - bouncing in place.

"Tomorrow."

The girls of the house immediately went to pack, making Peyton's grin grow even more. Isshin grinned as well before bolting down the hall for his room. "Thank you so much, my Wonderful Future Daughter! I MUST PACK, THEN TELL DEAR MASAKI ABOUT OUT FORTUNE!" he called out over his shoulder, and they heard his door slam shut.

Ichigo sighed and shook his head. "Great. Fourteen hours on a plane with you guys. Just what I always wanted."

"Maybe it's karma," Peyton suggested.

"For what?"

"I dunno...Probably for kissing me for so long the other night," she said innocently before getting a head start up the stairs. It took about five seconds for him to process what the hell she was talking about, and then she heard what she had been expecting.

"Hey...wait...HEY! Come back here, dammit!"

* * *

She sought refuge in Ichigo/Rukia's room, where she noticed a really cute bathing suit being packed into Rukia's Chappy suitcase. Peyton shuddered at the happy Chappy image and sat calmly on Ichigo's bed, just waiting for him to start yelling at her while already making plans in her head on how to best get rid of the Chappy image on that luggage. _Maybe color over it...With the most permanent Sharpie I can find...I could test them on Ichigo while he's sleeping, I guess..._

Rukia glanced up, the tiny Soul Reaper's gaze snapping Peyton out of her thoughts. "Ichigo pissed at you again?"

"Yeah."

"Has he yelled and chased you up the stairs yet?"

"Nah, I got a head start."

"Oh, nice one."

"Yeah. I've had plenty of practice by now."

They both laughed, and then Ichigo burst in. "Now look here, the only reason I was kissing you that long was because _you_ were still kissing _me_!"

Rukia laughed. "Ohhhh, this is about...the makeout."

"We did NOT make out," they both yelled, temples threatening to throb right off their heads.

Rukia just blinked before continuing to fold clothes from within Ichigo's closet, making Peyton wonder just how long she'd been living in that thing. _Long enough for her to get cute clothes, apparently..._

"Oh. Sorry. The really long kiss that wasn't exactly close-lipped, then."

"...What kiss?" Karin asked suddenly, and Yuzu's eyes were wide in the doorway next to her sister.

"...Ichigo, you kissed Peyton?"

The two teens-in-question exchanged an "Oh SHIT" kind of look. "Well, she-"

"It was Rukia's fault-"

"And Matsumoto's-"

"Yeah, hers too. And the mistletoe-"

"God, I've always hated mistletoe!"

"Me too!"

"It's pointless!"

"Yeah! And they bet us money..."

"And it didn't really mean anything..."

"We barely even made contact!"

"So...Yeah," Peyton and Ichigo explained lamely.

Everyone looked at them weird, and finally Yuzu squealed and jumped up and down, obviously not believing a single word as far as their half-assed explanation was concerned. "Finally! Yay yay yay! Wait until Papa hears about this!"

Before Peyton and Ichigo could stop her (and they really tried; Ichigo almost fell down the stairs), she bolted ahead of them and headed for Isshin's room.

They both sighed, drooped, and went on about their business, accepting their fate. "For the record, jackass, this is your fault."

"I beg to differ. You're the dumbass who brought the whole thing up."

"And YOU'RE the dumbass who came up here shouting and drawing attention to our conversation."

"..."

"..."

"...Peyton, this is still your fault."

"GET OUT, ICHIGO!" she shouted, throwing a random shoe at him.

"Alright, ALRIGHT, jeez!" he shouted back, hurrying out of the room as Peyton slammed the door in his face.

Rukia looked at her funny. "He...DOES realize you just chased him out of..." she trailed off as Peyton smirked mischievously and put a finger to her lips, locking his door rather loudly and knowing he was still outside the door.

"...Wait...HEY, PEYTON, GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"

"I'M SORRY, THE DOOR'S JAMMED!"

"GODDAMN IT, UNLOCK THE DOOR!"

"Soooo-rry! My mistake!"

"JUST UNLOCK THE DOOR AND GET OUT! ...Please," he added as an afterthought, making Rukia and Peyton sweatdrop.

"...Nah, I think we're good in here on our own."

"GODDAMN IT, PEYTON!" he shouted, stomping off.

Peyton chuckled to herself, and Rukia just shook his head. "What an idiot. So...which one of these do you think I should bring?"

She glanced inside Ichigo's closet and pointed to the bathing suit on the left without hesitation. "Blue is _definitely _your color. Makes your eyes look _really_ purple-"

"**YES**! I KNEW MY SON HAD IT IN HIM! THIS MEANS SHE'S ONE STEP CLOSER TO BEARING MY GRANDCHILDREN SOMEDAY!"

"DAD, SHUT THE HELL UP!" Ichigo shouted from the kitchen. Rukia giggled, and Peyton sank lower into Ichigo's chair and turned bright pink.

"Maybe I should take off before they get really into it. I'll see you guys tomorrow," Peyton said after heading for the stairs, already hearing the usual battle sounds that tended to break out between Ichigo and Isshin.

"Bye!" the girls of the household shouted before going back to whatever the hell they were doing.

* * *

_**THE ****NEXT MORNING...**_

"Here we go!" Peyton said excitedly. They were lucky they made it in time; their plane left at eight, which was _way_ too early considering all that had to be done before going on a plane.

Karin nudged her, making her jump. "Huh?"

"Here, switch tickets with me."

"...Why?"

"Well, _you_ should sit by your boyfriend. He's my brother, it's too early for me to deal with him for fourteen hours."

"HE IS _NOT_- ...my boyfriend," Peyton hissed, eyeing Isshin out of the corner of her eye as she lowered her voice. The last thing she wanted was for him to start explaining the "phases of love" in front of all these people...it had been bad enough when he had explained it to her during dinner one night. She'd never been so happy for Ichigo to kick him in the face...

Karin smirked as Peyton started flushing at the memory, and she grudgingly snatched the ticket out of her hand and handed Karin her own. "I'm doing this out of the kindness of my heart," she proclaimed before following Rukia's small head towards the boarding gate.

"Yeah, whatever."

* * *

How to describe their flight?

Traumatizing was a good word.

Almost as soon as she sat down, Ichigo scowled at her as he put some random bag in the storage bin above her head. "...What?" she snapped, making his scowl deepen.

"How come you get the window seat? Actually, why're you sitting in Karin's seat anyway?"

"She wanted me to switch seats with her. Why, you got a problem with it?"

"Of course I do. Karin's the lesser of two evils by a looong shot," he commented simply as he shut the bin, making her eye twitch. She then crossed her arms and huffed. "Too bad the same can't be said for you. And I'm not moving from this seat, so you'll just have to deal with it."

"Here I am, never having been to America before, and you're hogging the window seat," he mumbled in a somewhat-scolding tone as he plopped into his seat.

"Ichigo, you'll survive. Can't you see over me, anyways? You're like, what, eight feet tall?"

"Five foot nine, dumbass."

"So...roughly six feet?"

"Roughly," he said with an exasperated sigh, shaking his head. "Why does it matter?"

"I'm not even five foot three, Ichigo. You can see over my head no problem. SO I GET THE WINDOW SEAT."

That made his scowl deepen even more, something she didn't think was possible, and she shook her head. "Jesus. Bite my head off, why don't you ."

"Don't tempt me."

That made her growl, and he smirked at her. "Someone didn't get much sleep last night."

"YOU'RE ONE TO TALK! Get some goddamn food on your stomach before I kick your ass!"

"LIKE YOU COULD KICK THAT HIGH!"

They settled with glaring at each other, both of them growling slightly, and finally Ichigo crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat. "Food sounds good. What the hell do they serve on planes, anyways?"

"Alcohol, orange juice, Coke products only - no Pepsi products, which means no Mountain Dew, peanuts, and the other snacks vary from airline to airline," Peyton rattled off without thinking, making Ichigo and the flight attendant next to him sweatdrop with each item.

"Uh...I was kinda asking her, Peyton."

"...Oh. Sorry," she muttered with a sheepish laugh, making Ichigo shake his head.

"Whatever. I guess some dry-roasted peanuts sounds good..."

"They don't have dry-roasted, stupid, only salted."

The flight attendant opened her mouth to reply, but closed it again when Ichigo turned in his seat to glare at her better. "Oh? And how do you know? Are you the one with the cart?"

"No, but my mom was a flight attendant, dumbass. They only have salted."

"Why would they only have salted?" he demanded to know, making her sigh exasperatedly.

"BECAUSE, Ichigo, dry-roasted costs extra to supply in the cabins! So unless we're in first class - which we're NOT - you only get salted."

"Well, why didn't you get us first class then!"

"Because they didn't have enough seats left!"

"We coulda split up! I would've LOVED a first class seat!"

"Dumbass, if anyone got a first class seat, it'd be me. That way I wouldn't have to deal with you for fourteen goddamn hours."

"...You bitch."

"Why don't YOU quit bitching about peanuts and just GET SOME GODDAMN FOOD!"

"I bet you're wrong. I bet she has dry-roasted," he informed her simply, making her temple throb.

"NO, Ichigo, she doesn't."

"Um, excuse me - " The polite young flight attendant was cut off by Ichigo's shouting, making her sigh to herself.

"When's the last time you flew on a plane, Peyton, huh?"

"DUMBASS, how do you think I got to Karakura town? I sure as hell didn't SWIM from Tennessee!"

"And did you order peanuts?"

"...Well...no..."

"Ah, so there you go. She could have dry-roasted peanuts. The airline we're on might be different than the ones your mom worked."

Her eye twitched at his tone; she hated when he suddenly became logical and calm in order to win one of their arguments. "...Goddamn it, she doesn't have dry-roasted."

"YES SHE DOES!"

"NO SHE DOESN'T!"

"Care to make it interesting?" Karin asked, standing behind the poor flustered flight attendant. The two teens looked over at her, then at each other. Smirks slowly found their way upon their faces.

"...You're on."

"PLACE YOUR BETS, PASSENGERS!" Isshin shouted suddenly, making everyone jump and turn to look at him. He practically pranced down to where they were, beaming and holding out his hands, palm sides up. "WHO'S RIGHT? MY DARLING FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW, OR MY STUBBORN SON? PLACE YOUR BETS!" he announced, and Peyton sweatdropped as people actually took out their wallets and started betting with them.

"Please don't tell us the answer until we're ready, miss," Isshin informed the flight attendant, who sweatdropped and nodded slowly.

"I'm right, Ichigo, you might as well just save yourself the embarrassment and give it up now."

"Tch. Even if you are right, which you're not, it'd be more embarrassing for me to back out. Plus, I never give up. On anything."

"...Point taken."

"FLIGHT ATTENDANT WOMAN! PLEASE, TELL US, DO YOU HAVE DRY-ROASTED PEANUTS?" Isshin asked, and everybody leaned towards her eagerly.

"Um...Er...Well, not for this class...only first class gets them," she replied with a slight flush, making Ichigo and half the plane groan.

Peyton grinned at him triumphantly as Isshin happily did business with the passengers. "Told ya, Straaaaawberry," she drawled, making him scowl down at

"Enjoy the win while you can, Cullen."

"Oh, I intend to, Kurosaki," she replied as he grudgingly took the peanuts the blushing flight attendant held out to him.

* * *

After that excitement, they both caught up on much-needed sleep. But when Peyton woke up hours later, she felt like kicking herself after she realized the clicking she had heard before opening her eyes was Yuzu taking pictures of her and Ichigo sleeping while the flight attendants milling around weren't watching.

According to the pictures Yuzu held up for her to see, her head had been drooping against his chest and he had been leaning with his head tilting towards the top of hers. So, needless to say, she spent the rest of her napping time leaning against the cold window she'd wanted to badly in defiance. And every time she thought of how warm she had been before, she simply pressed her head harder against it and drew her arms tighter around her from within her oversized hoodie, as if _that_ would keep her from thinking so much.

No such luck.

And once Ichigo had been awake for a while, the people behind them were seriously dumb enough to play I-Spy on a _plane_, so after about ten minutes of hearing it, they finally turned around and kindly told them to shut up.

Then they began to criticize each other's iPods, both on style and music on it, even though their music was relatively the same. So, minus that one time when his hand was dangerously close to her thigh while scrolling through her iPod, it wasn't too bad.

When they finally arrived, Peyton immediately led them through the Orlando Airport to the Disney Magic-Bus, and Yuzu offered to stand in the line to register them and such.

Everyone else gratefully bolted for the incredibly short line - well, as fast as they could since they were all still stiff from that extremely long plane ride. Ichigo and Peyton made a point of trying to get in front of the other one, and Peyton ended up getting tripped and tangled up in the little ropes the separated the lines. "GODDAMMIT, ICHIGO!" she shouted as he started laughing.

"S-Sorry, I didn't mean to that time," he said between laughs, helping her up.

"Whatever. ...Hey, what day is today?" Peyton asked Rukia as she brushed herself off.

"Ummm, the fifth of December, I think. And it's Monday."

Cool. She'd be sixteen Wednesday.

"Thanks."

"Why?"

"Oh, I just forgot," she stated, twirling her necklace in thought; the one Seth gave her was in her bag, since Miya had demanded pictures. She peered at the signs by each line before nodding. "Lemme see, our resort's bus is..._this way_!" Peyton stated, bringing them right up to the correct bus, and she slid into a seat in front of a tiny tv attached to the bus ceiling.

"Wow, you don't even have to stretch your neck to see it. That must be new for you," Ichigo commented from behind her, making her jump with a yelp.

She shot a glare at him, and he tried not to laugh; that would ruin the effect. "No, dumbass, I'm actually quite used to it...but the person who's stupid enough to sit behind _you_ might have problems."

Sure enough, some short guy planted himself right behind him, causing both Ichigo and Peyton to turn and look at him as if he were stupid. A rather long and slightly-awkward silence passed between the three of them, and finally the guy got up with a sigh and went to sit behind Karin and Rukia on the other side of the bus.

"Jeez, if you wanna be left alone to make out, you just have to say so. Kids these days..."

Peyton sighed and held Ichigo back by his shirt as he attempted to stand up. "SAY THAT AGAIN TO MY FACE!"

"Ichigo, let it go. We don't even know his name."

He sat down with a huff, and she laughed and shook her head. "You know, if you don't want people saying stuff like that, maybe you shouldn't sit by me all the time," she pointed out.

He scowled down at her. "Dumbass, I sit by you all the time 'cause otherwise you'd do stupid shit."

"YOU'RE the one who does stupid shit, not me."

"Yeah right!"

"You know what, just forget it. It's too late at night to be arguing with you," she muttered, leaning her head against the window, much to his disappointment.

* * *

They were staying in Port Orleans, a resort modeled after 1800s New Orleans.

"Okay, there are two parts to Port Orleans: Riverside and French Quarter. _We're_ staying in Riverside," she explained, leading them around the awesome resort.

"How do you _know _all this?" Rukia asked; everyone else nodded in agreement.

Peyton shrugged. "I've been to Disney World a few times; we've stayed at Port Orleans a _lot_."

Isshin grinned. "See, she's even good with directions!"

Ichigo and Karin rolled their eyes, while Peyton completely ignored him, hellbent on completing her mission. "Let's see...Magnolia Bend. Never stayed over there, but I still know where it is," she muttered thoughtfully to herself with a yawn.

When they reached it, everyone's jaws dropped. Peyton grinned. "You know, you can find mansions and plantations like these all _over _the South."

Ichigo snapped out of it and shoved her lightly. "Hey, no American bragging. Karakura kicks its _ass_."

She hip-checked him back stubbornly. "Um, _no_, you dumbass. I thought we agreed they were tied!"

"Aren't they _cute_?" Karin remarked loudly. They immediately cleared their throats and walked normally, avoiding eye contact with each other. Karin snickered. "See? That's all you have to say."

_Clever fucking kid_, Peyton and Ichigo thought moodily.

* * *

_**LATER ****THAT NIGHT...**_

They had bought a total of three rooms; Peyton and Rukia were sharing one, Karin and Yuzu were sharing the other, and Ichigo and Isshin were in the last one.

Peyton had thought it a good idea to have adjoining rooms - they were connected through a system of doors - so that way if one of them tried to kill each other, there would be a speedy intervention. After all, they _were _staying there for two whole weeks, and Isshin and Ichigo were sharing a room. Hello!

"Yeah, we'll see how long that lasts," Rukia said with a scoff.

Peyton laughed, changing into a baggy t-shirt. It was way too hot in Florida for pants in bed, even for her, who had dealt with horrible humidity that made a hundred degrees feel like a hundred and seventy-five minimum. "I know, right? We shoud place bets on who kills who."

"My money's on Ichigo killing Isshin."

Peyton shrugged. "Hey, you never know; Isshin could win one this time. I bet he goes easy on him all the time."

"Yes, I suppose he might be. But in any case, Ichigo's strength is still impressive."

"Oh, I know. But I bet his dad could be stronger when he tries. REALLY tries," Peyton replied as she slipped under the crisp, cool sheets.

Thank God no one had to share a bed in any of the three rooms; then they'd have _several_ murders on their hands.

"Tomorrow we start!" Rukia announced rather loudly, stretching her hands towards the ceiling for emphasis before flopping down onto her bed and turning off the light.

Peyton grinned in the darkness. "Yeah. Tomorrow we...start," she agreed between yawns.

* * *

**Me: Yay yay yay yay! I'm so excited!**

**Rukia: Me too! **

**Ichigo: (throws lamp at us) SHUT UP! I'm so fucking tired, and I _just_ got my _dad_ to shut the fuck up! Fuck!**

**Me: (stage-whispers rather loudly) You can always tell when he's sleepy because he says "fuck" a lot! Plus, he acts like a whiny eight-year-old girl.**

**Ichigo: Mandy, shut the fuck UP!**

**Me: (dodges a rather out-of-place-seeming gauntlet) ...Ummmm, REVIEW, or your author's toast!**


	15. You Spin Me Right Round

**Me: Sooo sorry for the wait!**

**Rukia: You better be. Do you know how hard it is to be patient at a time like THIS in the story?**

**Ichigo: (yawns) At least I got some fucking sleep.**

**Me: Oh, right. Thanks, reviewers, for making Ichigo stop throwing random medieval objects at me!**

**Ichigo: Yeah...thanks so much...for letting the annoying freak of nature live.**

**Me: (sweet voice) Ichigo, dear, don't make me kick your ass.**

**Ichigo: Ignoring that.**

**Rukia: Enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

Peyton grinned to herself as the rest of them (even Ichigo) gaped at Magic Kingdom. Especially Cinderella's Castle.

"I think we should split up," Karin commented after a few moments.

Peyton nodded. "Sure. But we should all meet up somewhere..."

"How about in front of the big-ass castle that's easy to find?" Ichigo deadpanned.

Everyone nodded. "Right!"

Isshin and Yuzu held up their index fingers, pointing to the sky like cheesy superheroes. "Off we go!"

Ichigo and Rukia sweatdropped as the two ran off, and Peyton and Karin shook their heads. "...Peyton, tell me, how easy is it to get devastatingly lost in this place?"

"Extremely."

"Great. They'll be crying in corners within the hour."

"Doubt it, Karin. Dad's too damn loud to be missing for long."

"Not if we say we didn't hear him," she pointed out, and they all nodded slowly. "This is true..."

Peyton rolled her eyes and strolled off. "Whatever, ya'll do what you want, but _I'm_ goin' to ride some rides!" Rukia ran after her, and Peyton turned to look at Ichigo once she caught up with her. "You comin' with us?"

He scoffed. "With you? I'll pass."

"Suit yourself, Strawberry, just watch out for the 'It's A Small World After All' ride," Peyton said rather ominously, making even Karin pause to look at her.

"...The _what_?" they all asked, and she nodded solemnly.

"Yep. It's over with all the little kid rides in the Fantasyland section. Somewhere around Peter Pan, I think. And it's got kids in it singing the theme song, 'It's A Small World After All', right? ...If you're by yourself, or acting bad, one or two workers'll kidnap you and chain you down to the floor of the ride after teaching you the song, and you have to sing on the ride until you die and they switch you out with some other kid."

They all gaped at her, and she shrugged. "Ask Seth. That's why he didn't wanna come, he saw a skeleton floating in the hot air balloon where a clown should be. The sad part is that some of the workers here even WARN YOU, but you know how people are. They just..._don't_...listen," she said ominously before smiling at them. "So. Just watch out for that."

Ichigo laughed nervously, and she bit her lip to keep from laughing at the obvious fear written on his face. "That's the stupidest story I've ever heard, Peyton...heh...Karin, wanna come with me?"

"Very much so," she said quickly, and they ran off. Rukia looked to Peyton with wide eyes.

"Is that TRUE?"

"Oh, of course it is! I can't make this shit up, Rukia."

* * *

_**THREE ****HOURS LATER...**_

"If we have to wait one minute longer, I'm ripping Walt Disney's mustache _right_ off!" Rukia snarled, which earned them both a dirty look from one of the moms in line behind them.

"Ignore the scary little lady," she told her son, who nodded fearfully.

Peyton flashed them an apologetic smile before leaning to whisper in Rukia's ear. "You can't do that, he's dead. ...Well...I take that back, you could always sneak into the cryo lab. I hear he got himself cryogenically frozen."

"Like Austin Powers?" Rukia asked curiously.

Peyton sweatdropped, having expected to have to further explain what it was. "...Yeah. How the hell did you - "

"Oh, thanks _so_ _much_ for saving my spot in line!" Ichigo said smoothly, sliding up next to Peyton.

Peyton smirked and said nothing; she wanted to see how he'd react to Splash Mountain. Rukia, however, pointed a finger at him. "Hey! We split up, remember? That's _skippi_-"

Ichigo and Peyton both covered her mouth, and Peyton laughed nervously as the still-angry mom smiled sweetly. "Was she about to say you were _skipping_, young man?" she asked innocently.

"NO," Ichigo and Peyton stated. The mom gave them dirty looks and unzipped her fanny pack rather harshly to store her sunglasses, but dammit, she should've minded her own business to begin with.

Finally the line moved, and they could see the logs from their new spots. Peyton just silently hoped neither Rukia nor Ichigo wouldn't attack the tiny creatures on the ride. Speaking of Rukia, she was bouncing on the balls of her feet excitedly. "Is Chappy going to be on this ride?"

"He _better not _be, or I'm _suing_ the frozen old fart," Peyton muttered dangerously. The nosy woman behind them sighed in dismay again. Screw her, Chappy was scary as hell!

"Don't worry, I'm sure Ichigo would protect you," Rukia commented innocently. Ichigo and Peyton both gave her a glare before huffing moodily. Luckily for them, it was their turn to board.

Peyton pumped her fist, immediately cheerful again. "Heck yuuusss!" Ichigo and Rukia sweatdropped as she leapt into her seat and dragged them both in with her, and she just grinned. "We got front-row seats. It ups our chances of getting wet," she explained happily.

Rukia drooped. "_Wet_? As in soaked-to-the-bone wet, or wow-that-felt-good wet?"

"Right in the middle, if we're lucky. Heeee-re we go!" Peyton announced as the log started moving forward.

* * *

_**LESS ****THAN A MINUTE LATER...**_

"...Please explain why the _hell _we're surrounded by stuffed animals," Ichigo asked Peyton with a sweatdrop.

Peyton turned her head sideways to look at him, having placed herself in the middle since she knew they'd ask her about a million questions. It was kind of a given with them. "Have you ever heard of Brer Rabbit? ...That rabbit that thinks he's the shit 'cause he's smarter than a fox and a dumb-ass bear? Oh, SURELY you've heard of at least 'Zippidy Doo Dah'?"

He just sweatdropped and shook his head. "You must've forgotten."

"Forgotten what?"

"That I'm not a redneck, dumbass, I have no idea what the hell you're talking about."

Peyton huffed. "Sheesh, you just had to say so. Okay, so basically this rabbit keeps outsmarting the wolf and bear while he's out looking for adventure. ...I promise that the slightly-creepy animatronics are worth it," she assured him. He crossed his arms, unconvinced.

As if on cue they went down a steep drop, and Ichigo let out a surprised yell like everyone else. He hadn't been paying attention, as per usual.

When they were out of the dark tunnel-like-area-thing, Peyton grinned smugly at him. Before she could say anything, he just scowled at her with a templethrob. "...Shut up, Peyton."

"Would you PLEASE be quiet? I'm trying to hear the story!" Rukia hissed, watching with wide eyes every scene they passed. Peyton smiled at her rather child-like expression, but it quickly turned into a scowl when Ichigo huffed next to her. "Damn bossy midget. I'm _surrounded_ by midgets..."

_**THWACK!**_

"Ow! Goddammit!"

"NEXT TIME, I'M THROWING YOU OUTTA THE BOAT!"

"There are CHILDREN aboard!" someone shouted behind them, making Peyton shake her head at him with a tsk-tsk-tsk noise.

"Yeah, Ichigo. Children. They're very impressionable, you know."

They went down another drop, successfully interrupting Ichigo's comeback. Peyton stared at him expectantly, but he just crossed his arms again and suddenly decided to look at the ride as if it were fascinating.

"..."

"..."

"...You forgot your comeback, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

She bit her lip to keep from snickering, deciding she should probably at least pretend she was paying attention to the ride. "I sure wouldn't want those hanging around _me_," Ichigo muttered a few minutes later. He was referring to the vultures perched above them on a branch, dressed up for a funeral as their log climbed up a big hill.

"Time to be turning around..."

"If only you could!"

"If you finally found your laughing place..."

"How come you aren't laughing?"

"So, you're looking for a laughing place, eh?"

"We'll show _you_ a laughing place!"

The vultures chuckled down at them, continuing their dialogue and making Ichigo's eye twitch as if he were taking it personally. Which he probably was, the dumbass.

Peyton nudged him, cocking her head at Rukia. He couldn't help but grin like she was; Rukia was so absorbed in the story that her mouth was slightly open and she was bouncing slightly with anticipation as to how it ended. Peyton clapped her hands together rather theatrically, and she noticed that dreadfully nosy woman STILL behind them had jumped and was now staring daggers at the back of her head.

"Alright, here it comes! It's gonna take our picture, just warning you. And also, you can stop glaring at me like that now, Nosy Lady Behind Me, I promise I won't eat your kid or anything," she stated cheerfully.

Ichigo laughed as the lady made an "Eek!" noise, whereas Rukia had barely heard any of that, focusing instead on Brer Rabbit's voice.

_**"Do what you want to me. ...But please, please don't throw me in that briar patch!"**_

"Isn't that where he _lives_?" Rukia asked, brows furrowed in confusion. "If I recall correctly, that was in one of the first scenes we passed in our log contraption!"

Peyton held up a hand as if reassuring a toddler that they'd been heard. "Be patient, Rukiaaa, wait for it!"

They reached the peak of the hill and could see people on a bridge, waiting for them to shoot down the 150-foot-drop. They heard the dumb bear say thoughtfully, **"_Brair patch_?"**

Peyton glanced to her left and right, thoroughly enjoying Ichigo's and Rukia's expressions as they understood at their own respective speeds what was going to happen.

And then they shot down, everyone screaming with excitement (or terror, in a couple little kids' cases). They swooped down into the water with a huge splash, and it pretty much enveloped the front two rows. Peyton and Ichigo were laughing their asses off, and Rukia was fingering her shirt worriedly, trying to keep it from sticking to her skin.

"Oh, hell _yeah_! It gets fun all over again every time," Peyton commented between laughs, wringing out the ends of her hair cheerfully. As they headed for the exit, they stopped to look at the pictures on the screens.

Ichigo pointed to theirs, and Peyton laughed. The two were giving each other bunny ears with sneaky looks, as if the other person wouldn't notice (Peyton had had no clue, but still); it was so cheesy and stupid that it was actually a little funny. Rukia was gawking down at the drop, her mouth a giant "O". The wind was blowing her hair off her face, making her widened violet eyes look even wider.

"...Yeah, we need to work on that. Buy the _perfect _picture before we leave," Rukia commented. "And this time I'll be ready, because now I've _heard _the fascinating tale of Bray-er Rabbit!"

"...Rukia, it's _Brer_ Rabbit. Brer."

"That's what I said, Bray-er!"

"I told you, Peyton, you keep forgetting who the redneck is here," Ichigo said innocently, earning a smack upside the head from said redneck.

* * *

They continued to use the Spot-Holding System for all the "big-kid rides"...and even rides that Ichigo specifically told Peyton and Rukia to never tell anyone he rode under threat of stuffing them both in lockers. Peyton knew he wouldn't, but decided that it was better to be one of only two people to know that Ichigo had managed to squeeze his tall ass in a honeypot to ride Winnie the Pooh per Rukia's request.

It got dark and close to closing time way too soon for anyone's liking, and they had rode almost every ride at least once...and a handful of rides more than twice. Yuzu and Karin were exhausted, and Isshin decided it was time to "Put me- er, I mean, my daughters- to bed!"

The three teens stayed out and swore they would catch the bus when they were done. "Next up...The Haunted Mansion," Peyton announced in a low tone, adding a spooky laugh as they strolled down Liberty Square, heading for the creepiest building in Magic Kingdom.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "It can't be _that_ scary."

"Oh-ho-HO, Ichigo, it's Piss Your PANTS scary!"

"It can't be any scarier than your face was when Matsumoto made you wear that green mask thing."

"...It was exfoliating lotion, and she assured me it would help preserve my Southern tan," Peyton grumbled, temple throbbing. But then she suddenly smirked, and Ichigo sighed. "What now?"

"I'll bet you twenty bucks that you jump from the scariness of that ride in ten minutes tops," she said simply.

"Deal," he replied without hesitation, and they shook on it.

"Wow, you guys are finally holding hands?" Rukia asked. Apparently she hadn't heard their conversation and happened to turn around at the wrong time...although, to be fair, they _were_ the idiots who hadn't let go of each other's hand yet.

"DAMMIT RUKIA!"

"Look, calm down before you have a coronary!" Peyton snapped, then grinned somewhat maniacally. "That's what the ride's for."

The mansion itself was enough to give you a shiver of anticipation; the bugs and crickets that had come out only added to the creepy manor music they had playing around the property. It all had an air of being decripit and eery despite being well-maintained. Out front, Ichigo and Peyton both had to explain to Rukia that the carriage outside with a missing horse had an invisible horse and driver, hence the hoofprints and the harness that looked to be attached to something. She then demanded Peyton take a picture to prove it to her, which she had done, and promised to get it developed as soon as possible.

Now they were standing in line with other people on the mansion's side, a grassy hill to their left with tombstones on it. "There, look at the tombstones, you still have that pissed look on your face," Peyton grumbled, knowing good and well that neither Ichigo nor herself were fun to deal with at night. She didn't want to ruin Rukia's first time riding one of her all-time favorite rides with his bitching.

Ichigo huffed and did as she suggested, pointing to one in particular a few moments later. "Who's she? Is she on the ride, or just some random person?"

It had a picture of a woman on it, and the enscription read:

"DEAR SWEET LEOTA  
BELOVED BY ALL  
IN REGIONS BEYOND NOW,  
HAVING A BALL"

Peyton grinned. "That's the crystal ball lady, Madame Leota. You'll figure out who she is as soon as you see her, I promise."

They were soon both laughing like idiots at the downright odd sayings on the other tombstones:

"DEAR DEPARTED  
BROTHER  
DAVE  
HE CHASED A  
BEAR INTO  
A CAVE,"

"IN MEMORIUM  
UNCLE MYALL  
HERE YOU'LL LIE  
FOR QUITE A WHILE,"

"REST IN PEACE

COUSIN HUET  
WE ALL KNOW  
YOU DIDN'T DO IT,"

"MASTER GRACEY  
LAID  
TO REST  
NO MOURNING  
PLEASE  
AT HIS  
REQUEST  
Farewell,"

"HERE LIES

A MAN NAMED  
MARTIN  
THE LIGHTS WENT  
OUT ON THIS OLD  
SPARTAN,"

"HERE LIES

GOOD OLD  
FRED  
A GREAT BIG ROCK  
FELL ON HIS HEAD  
R.I.P.,"

and

"At Peaceful Rest Lies  
BROTHER  
CLAUDE  
PLANTED HERE  
BENEATH THIS  
SOD."

"You know, they're all named after people who worked on Haunted Mansion back in the '50s, and most of 'em were huge animation pioneers," Peyton informed him. He nodded slowly, impressed, while Rukia just sighed impatiently and pulled them along. "The line's moving, hurry up! You can be Disney History nerds later!"

As they got closer and closer to the entrance, Peyton felt...uneasy. Goosebumps had already popped up on her and Rukia's arms, despite the humid Florida air. She glanced up at Ichigo, who looked relatively calm, but she could still tell he was a little uneasy himself. The Haunted Mansion's eery theme music was still playing, getting louder the closer they got. A woman and man, both dressed as butler and maid with green-and-black color schemes, stared unwaveringly at them all.

They looked to each other before the maid opened the door, the butler ushering them in. The three followed them wordlessly, fellow tourists chattering loudly all around them. It was rather annoying, actually, but they quieted down as soon as they heard an ominous voice ring out:

**"When hinges creak in doorless chambers, and strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls. Whenever candlelights flicker, where the air is deathly still. That is the time when ghosts are present, practicing their terror with ghoulish delight. Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion! I am your host, your...ghost host. Hmm hmm hmm hmm. Kindly step all the way in, please, and make room for everyone,"** the voice from some unknown source instructed.

Rukia gulped, making Ichigo roll his eyes. "Honestly, Rukia. We fight Hollows on a daily basis, and you're scared by a _ride_ about _ghosts_?" he asked in a whisper, not wanting the other tourists to overhear.

"I'm not scared!" she cried out indignantly, pouting slightly. Peyton didn't say anything, confused by how uneasy she still felt. She'd never felt like that on the ride before.

The smirk never left Peyton's face, however, as Ichigo put on his best bored expression while the voice went on about the ride. The room was just as she remembered it; same circular shape, same stripes of green, pink, and a decaying sort of yellow on the wallpaper. The portraits were the same, too. One had a middle-aged-at-best woman with her dark brown hair in a weird bun spiraling up atop her head and a rose in her clasped hands, one had a man with facial hair that belonged on a Russian with a pen and document in his hand, one featured a man wearing a bowler hat and smug grin with crossed arms, and finally, one had a pretty young girl with a parasol and an outfit that suited a ballerina.

Rukia's neck craned every which way to take it all in, standing on her tip-toes and using Peyton for balance occasionally. But then the room started growing, something that couldn't go unnoticed even by Ichigo.

**"There's no turning back now. Our tour begins _here_, in _this_ gallery, where you see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their corruptable, _mortal_ state. Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of forboding. Almost as though you sense a...disquieting metamorphosis. Is this haunted room _actually_ stretching? Or is it your imagination, hmm?"**

The paintings' lower halves exposed funny images, but they were made slightly creepy when the music and overall tone of the ride was taken into account. The older woman was revealed to be sitting on a tombstone that read "Rest in peace, Dear Beloved George"; there was a bust of a man at the foot of the tombstone with an ax in his head, suggesting she was an axe murderer.

The man with the Russian facial hair and the pen and document was revealed to have no pants on, his red-and-white striped underwear showing proudly as he stood atop a barrel marked "DYNAMITE", a candle lighting a fuse that coiled to the bottom of the painting.

Bowler Hat Dude was revealed to be sitting on the shoulders of one man, who was sitting on the shoulders of another, who was about chest deep in a tan puddle labeled "QUICKSAND" on a tribal-looking sign.

The ballerina woman was balancing on a tightrope above an alligator, jaws open and waiting for her to fall. The pleasant smile on her face was more than a little creepy now.

Rukia laughed gleefully at the pictures; obviously Disney World brought out the inner kid in her, just like it did for everyone else. Even Ichigo grinned for a second - and it sounded like he chuckled to himself, then caught Peyton smirking up at him and quickly returned to his bored expression, complete with his trademark scowl this time.

**"And consider this dismaying observation: this chamber has _no_ windows, and _no_ doors. Hmm hmm hmm hmm. Which offers you _this_ chilling challenge: to find a way out! AHAHAHAHAHA! ...Of course, there's always_ MY WAY_..."**

Suddenly the lights cut off, making everyone reflexively look up. The ceiling seemed to disappear or at least get higher for a split second, revealing an image of a man hanging by a noose in front of a glass window. Among the screams, Ichigo's and Rukia's were the loudest, and they all screamed again when a shrill ghost-like scream rang out, moving all around them like the narrating ghost's had before there was a shattering and thud noise.

Even Peyton jumped and screamed at it all, having never noticed the hanging man until today. She had always hidden her face against her mom once the lights cut off, having expected an actual ghost lingering in the ride to take the opportunity to talk to her - even at their last visit to Disney World, only three years ago.

When the lights came back on, Peyton and Ichigo barely had any space between them - in fact, there virtually _was_ none. He was lucky she hadn't jumped right into his arms, one of which looked to have been about to wrap around her. They both cleared their throats awkwardly and slid away from each other, much to Rukia's amusement as she patted her chest. "Stupid gigai...its pulse appears to be malfunctioning..."

Ichigo and Peyton sweatdropped at that, but decided not to comment since the "Ghost Host" had started talking again.

**"Oh, I didn't mean to frighten you prematurely! Hmm hmm hmm hmm...The _real_ chills come later. Now - as they say, 'look alive', and we'll continue our little tour. And let's all stay together please,"** the ghost instructed as the butler opened the door that had suddenly appeared behind Ichigo. It made him jump yet again, proving without a doubt she had won their bet.

Rukia grinned as Peyton held out her hand triumphantly, and Ichigo sighed and handed over twenty bucks. "Pleasure doing business with you, sir," she said in a cheerful British accent, making the butler raise his eyebrows.

The door on the other side of the room opened to let more people into the ride, and both Ichigo and Peyton jumped with a yell. Rukia held out her hand smugly, and Peyton sighed before handing over five of the twenty bucks. "Pleasure doing business with _you_, madam," Rukia commented.

**"Take your loved ones by the hand, please, and kindly watch your step. Do _not_ pull down on the safety bar, _I_ will lower it for you. And heed this warning: We spirits will materialize _only_ if you remain quietly seated at all times. Oh yes, and no flash pictures please! We spirits are frightfully sensitive to bright lights."**

Peyton once again sat in the middle, with Ichigo on her left and Rukia on her right. She couldn't help but get an eye twitch when a maid checked the bar to make sure it was lowered all the way and brushed her hand across Ichigo's arm, giggling to another maid as their little Doom Buggy left.

Ichigo smirked down at her expression. "What's with that look on your face? If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were _jealous_ or something."

She flushed, but quickly recovered by pushing him back so he was pressed completely into the Doom Buggy. "Would you move your tall ass outta my way? I'm gonna miss half the ride," she grumbled, trying not to show her satisfaction at his own flush from her lingering hand against his chest.

"You're free to look on my side. In fact, I would prefer it that way," Rukia muttered, eyes wide as they moved through the dark hallways. Lightning flashed in the windows, revealing hidding pictures within the pictures on the walls; a woman on a couch turned into a ferocious tiger woman, another turned into Medusa, and a ship turned into a raggedy Flying Dutchman-looking one, among other things. A teenaged girl that had been ahead of them thought she was extremely hilarious and decided to let out a shrill scream less than thirty seconds into the ride, successfully scaring the crap out of Rukia.

They then rode into the library, surrounded by books and busts of men, the latter following them with their eyes as they moved past. **"Our library is well stocked with priceless first editions - only ghost stories, of course," **the Ghost Host explained with a chuckle.** "And marble busts of the greatest ghost writers the literary world has _ever_ known..."**

"Freaky," Rukia breathed, making Ichigo chuckle with amusement. Peyton still felt unbelievably anxious, and the goosebumps were returning the further they went along the ride.

They moved on to the music room, where an unknown pianist was smashing away at the keys. "**They have all retired _here_, to the Haunted Mansion. ...Actually, we have 999 happy haunts here, but there's room for one thousand. Any volunteers? If you should decide to join us, final arrangements may be made at the end of the tour."** In the middle of his statement, they had moved onto a staircase with candlesticks that went across the room on Rukia's side, both the stairs and candles being upside-down and right-side-up to make random patterns down what seemed like an endless hallway. Glowing green footsteps appeared, walking across the stairs above their heads and slowly fading away. Dozens of big eyes stared at them, blinking ominously in the darkness.

"Freaky," Rukia repeated. "From what I've seen, I don't believe this is an ordinary house by _any_ means..."

"...No shit," Ichigo and Peyton deadpanned, shaking their heads at her statement.

Their buggy trudged on up the stairs, turning every which way to give them the full effect of the doors with knockers knocking of their own accord, and a candle floating in an invisible person's hand down a hallway.

**"We find it _delightfully_ unlivable here in this ghostly retreat; every room has wall-to-wall creeps, and hot and cold running chills! Ssshhhh, _listen_..."**

They did listen, and heard moaning and screaming and crying. Even Ichigo gulped, and Peyton noticed he had goosebumps as well. So she wasn't the only one feeling it...

They looked at the coffin with the lid being pushed straight up by skeleton arms from inside it, the nails that were supposed to have kept the coffin shut poking out in the green light. **"All our ghosts have been _dying_ to meet you! This one can hardly contain himself,"** the Ghost Host said with a chuckle.

Peyton chuckled as well, though she could hear her own anxiety in it. What the hell was going on? Why did she feel so uneasy and...somewhat frightened?

They made a sharp turn into a room to the left, one with floating instruments and a strong female voice ringing out. **"Unfortunately, they all seem to have trouble getting through. Perhaps Madame Leota can establish contact. She has a remarkable head for materializing the disembodied..."** And with that, the Ghost Host paused for a while, letting Madame Leota talk for a while.

Peyton looked at Rukia and Ichigo as their jaws dropped at the sight of the woman's head floating in a crystal ball that was hovering above a table in the center of the room. "Okay, even I didn't expect that one...That's most _definitely_ Leota," Ichigo said matter-of-factly.

Her temple throbbed as Rukia waved her hand in Ichigo's face to shush him, smacking her in the process. "Shh! She's talking to us! It must be of importance, you should always listen to those speaking beyond the grave, Ichigo."

"YEAH, Ichigo."

"Shh, Peyton."

"Right."

_**"Serpents and spiders, tail of a rat, call in the spirits wherever they're at. Rap on a table, it's time to respond, send us a message from somewhere beyond."**_ There was rapping from right beside Rukia, making her jump with a slight squeal. Ichigo laughed, and Peyton sweatdropped.

"Rukia?"

"Y-Yes?"

"Get off my lap, please."

"Sorry, Peyton."

_**"Goblins and ghoulies from last Halloween, awaken the spirits with your tambourine. Creepies and crawlies, toads in a pond, let there be music from regions beyond. Wizards and witches, wherever you dwell, give us a hint by ringing a bell!"**_

Sure enough, a bell suddenly rang out, followed by rapping on the table, all of which happened directly in front of Peyton and made her jump with a squeal of her own. This time, Rukia was the one laughing as Ichigo's temple throbbed.

"Peyton."

"Yeah, I know, off your lap, I get it," she grumbled, glad it was dark so neither of them could see her embarrassed blush. She'd been on this ride before, for crying out loud!

On that somewhat-climactic note, their buggy moved towards the exit door of the room, back onto the main track.** "The happy haunts have received your sympathetic vibrations and are beginning to materialize. They're assembling for a swinging wake and they'll be expecting me. I'll see you all a little later."**

They were approaching a balcony, and Peyton bounced with excitement. This was one of her favorite parts; the ghost ball. All three of them peeked over the railing before it was fully in view, and Rukia's jaw dropped. There was dozens of ghosts down there for her viewing pleasure.

There was one perched on the top of a tall hearth's canopy, one below him in a rocking chair, a sea captain and person in a nighty and cap chasing each other, a long table with cake and wine and the like that seated a good twenty ghosts with some empty chairs here and there, drunk ghosts swaying to the music atop a huge chandelier, there were several dancing couples in ball gowns and top hats, and two paintings on the wall even had one ghost each in Civil War Era clothes that stepped out of their respective paintings and shot at each other in what appeared to be the unfair duel one of the tombstones had mentioned outside.

"...Whoa," Rukia breathed, "it's fascinating."

Ichigo nodded in agreement. "I have to admit, the effects are pretty damn impressive."

"I know, right?" Peyton said with a laugh, suddenly freezing mid-laugh as the feeling hit her full-force. Ichigo was stunned into silence as well, the goosebumps appearing on all three of them again. The rooms had all been noticeably colder in the mansion, probably to add to the ghostly effect, but now it was even colder; it had nothing to do with air conditioning this time.

"Please tell me at least one of you feels that," Peyton murmured, earning nods from both of them.

"It feels like a..."

"Ghost," Peyton finished, and they all started looking around.

Rukia shook her head slowly. "I've never felt a ghost like _this_."

"I have. It's your typical Southern ghost, really. Negative ghosts like this tend to have different, more frightening auras - it really sucks. ...We have a lot of poltergeists and negative-type ghosts around here, something I noticed ya'll don't really have in Karakura."

"Do Hollows count?" Ichigo deadpanned, rubbing his cold arms. There were whispers among the people in other buggies, as they were now able to see each other's breath. Peyton stared at the pictures they passed, each one with the same bride and a different groom. And each groom's head was shown to be missing after a few moments.

"..._This_ is new...I don't remember this being here at all!" Peyton whispered, eyes wider than Rukia's.

"The hell do you mean?"

"Well, I heard that they'd refurbished it, so...this must be a new part of it."

"Whatever this is, the ghost's in here," Ichigo stated plainly as both he and Peyton's hairs on the back of their necks stood on end.

_**"You may kiss the bride..."**_ an eery female voice hissed, making them all jump.

_**"We'll live happily...ever...after,"**_ she continued, and Peyton leaned forward to get a better look at their dark surroundings; they appeared to be in some sort of attic, with the wedding pictures scattered around along with tons of cobwebs, dowry trunks, and wedding dresses. ...Among other things, like your usual ancient attic objects.

"Where the hell's her voice coming from?" she wondered, gripping the safety bar tighter so they wouldn't see her hands shaking.

_**"Till death do us part..."**_ Peyton abruptly fell back against her seat, leaning as far into the buggie as she could as the bride came into view. Her eyes were glowing, and with every sentence she said, a ghostly ax appeared in her clasped hands, her whole body illuminated with a ghostly blue glow. And she was unmistakably the only _real_ ghost here.

A couple children cried, and some people whispered about how realistic she was and were either agreed with or were asked what they were talking about, there was no one there.

The bride looked directly into the three's eyes, one by one, causing shivers to run through them. _**"Heeeere comes the bride!"**_ she practically sang, and Peyton instinctively inched closer to Ichigo as she stared back at the cackling ghost.

"...Should we go Soul Reaper?" Ichigo asked Rukia, not seeming to mind Peyton's close proximity level.

Rukia hesitated, but Peyton shook her head. "Leave her be."

"WHAT?"

"Shhh!" Rukia hissed, making Ichigo's eye twitch.

"Oh, so you're taking Peyton's side?"

"She's not hurting anyone, she's just scaring the hell outta those who can see her," Peyton pointed out. "Those who _can't_ see her are just creeped the hell out by her voice and her aura corroding the whole room. Obviously it's good for Disney business, too, and people'll live here with a ghost story, so...The last thing I want is Mickey Mouse getting pissed at me."

"...Point taken," Ichigo and Rukia muttered, making her grin triumphantly as they finally passed the bride. They went into the backyard - another favorite of hers, which included a cemetary, ghosts flying around everywhere, two fat queens on a see-saw, a caretaker and his skin-and-bones dog shaking with fear, and zombie heads that popped up and scared even Peyton since they too were new. Also new were the five busts singing the "Grim Grinning Ghosts" theme song, one of which was crumbled and looking up at them from the ground. There was even a mummy and a Viking singer with the winged helmet and blonde braids, the whole shebang. And, of course, the three hitch-hiking ghosts.

But really, they passed by so much on the whole ride in general that Peyton was sure she'd missed some of it. In fact, she'd seen things she knew had always been there but had never paid attention to, just like she always did on Pirates of the Caribbean.

Much to their dismay, the ghost bride was perched on top of the column of the exit. _**"Hurry ba-ack...Hurry baaaa-ack...!"**_

Luckily, this one was a miniature and was meant to be there, if eveyone's pointing and "Oh, so THAT'S who was talking!" was any indication.

_**"Be sure to bring your death certificate...if you wish to join us...!"**_

Peyton shivered, and Rukia shook her head as she looked up at the ghost. "No thank you, I'll stick with Soul Society," she muttered, making Ichigo and Peyton sweatdrop.

"Rukia, she's not the _actual_ ghost."

"I know, but just in case she was thinking I even considered the option..."

**" ...Ah! There you are, and just in time! There's a little matter I forgot to mention... Beware of hitch-hiking ghosts! Hahahaha!"** They passed by some mirrors, and Peyton winced at how pale and disoriented the ghost aura had made her, but ended up laughing when Rukia's reflection was replaced with that of the small bearded Hitchhiking ghost and she frantically felt parts of her body to make sure she was still there.

"How clever!" the tiny Soul Reaper praised, making even Ichigo grin to himself.

**"They have selected you to fill our quota, and will haunt you until you return! AHAHAHA! Now, I will raise the safety bar and a ghost will follow you home!"** their Ghost Host exclaimed, laughing as the safety bar was lifted up by invisible hands and the three climbed out before practically running across the little strip of moving floor. **"Kindly watch your step, please, watch your step..."**

"OHTHANKGOD!" Peyton and Ichigo shouted once they were outside, breathing in the hot, humid, non-ghost-aura-filled air.

"I hate those damn negative ghosts, they make my head hurt even worse than the normal ones," Peyton grumbled. Ichigo nodded in agreement.

"I don't think a ghost or Hollow's ever affected me that bad."

"Tch. You wouldn't last a _week_ in my old house then - or neighborhood, for that matter. We had a Civil War battle there, so it's full of ghosts, both negative and normal. Our house had been used as a hospital, too, so it was like hell on earth for me and mom. We got used to it after a while, but it still sucked to be sitting there in the morning and have some negative ghost come along and make your cereal fly into the wall," she grumbled, making him chuckle and shake his head.

Rukia pointed to a set of what looked like crypt graves; they were built into a pink granite wall outside. "Look, look! 'Six winsome wives, some fat some thin, six of them were faithful, but the seventh did him in.'"

"Gee, wonder who the seventh was," Peyton muttered.

"I have my suspects," Ichigo replied, shaking his head again. "Amazing how I'm on vacation and I still see ghosts all over the place."

"Well, Ichigo, it IS called The Haunted Mansion," Rukia replied matter-of-factly, making his eye twitch. She then brightened, beaming at them both. "Wanna ride it again?"

"NO!" they shouted, and Peyton cleared her throat awkwardly.

"Erm, I mean...not tonight. It, uh...It's getting late. YEAH! It's getting _real_ late! In fact, the park's bound to close any minute! SOOOO, I think we'll just end on a high note and come back to ride it again before we leave."

Ichigo nodded quickly in agreement, and they both practically dragged Rukia away from the mansion before she could even think about protesting.

* * *

They left before closing time, and Ichigo and Rukia were so tired that they didn't even realize Peyton wasn't on the bus with them.

She had slid out of line at the last second and snuck back into the park.

There were only a few people milling about here and there, but Peyton wasn't one of them. She was sitting on top of one of the Dumbos on the flying ride.

Peyton pulled her knees up, resting her chin on them; she had a perfect view of most of the park, thanks to her Dumbo being up in the air along with two other Dumbos.

It was so late that only a select few rides were still operating, and good old Dumbo wasn't one of them, so at least she didn't have to worry about it randomly springing to life and scaring the living hell out of her. She sighed, breathing in the Florida air deeply. It was different from Karakura Town, and more like Tennessee. Well, it was still different altogether, but it still made her think of her own sweaty, sweltering hometown.

It was strange being here, seeing all the characters and riding all the rides without mom. She had been her usual partner in crime; Seth and Dad used "male bonding time" as an excuse to get fast passes and speed through lines without them, and Lindsay was a huge fan of flirting away her boredom, so Peyton and her mom had always rode the rides together and passed the long waiting times making random observations and stupid jokes. ...And occasionally talking about various family members' stupidity, including her and mom's own.

_**So** different..._

"You think you're _sooo _sneaky," Ichigo commented from the very top of the ride, making her jump wiith a yelp.

"Ichigo! Don't do that, goddammit!" she hissed, regaining her balance at the last second after a good thirty seconds of spastic flailing.

He laughed and jumped down to the Dumbo she was sitting on, making her scowl.

"Why are you invisible?" he asked, scowling back at her.

"Why are YOU invisible?" Peyton shot back. How'd he know he'd find her if he went all Soul Reaper?

"I figured it wouldn't hurt. Didn't wanna get caught being in here after-hours."

Peyton grinned. "Urahara taught me. Apparently I can do more than that electricity stuff, I can sense and bend ultrasensitive auras. If I bend my aura _just_ right, I can only be seen by...well, basically ghosts and Soul Reapers. I'm _so_ using this in the other parks so I don't have to wait in lines."

Ichigo crossed his arms moodily. "_I _can't do that. I'd have to leave my body behind to avoid lines, and then Dad and Yuzu would chew me out for 'sleeping in' the whole time. Dammit."

Peyton laughed. "Sucks for you."

After a few moments of comfortable silence, she glanced at him. "You're quiet for once. It's nice...and scary."

He shrugged. "I'm tired and there's nothing to say."

"Then why don't you go back to the hotel?"

He shrugged again; that was becoming his trademark lately. "I dunno. Don't feel like it."

"But you _just said_ you were tired," she pointed out.

He sighed in annoyance. "I know! I guess...hanging out with you's more fun at the moment. ...Plus, the last thing I need is you getting chased around by that Bride Ghost."

"Oh, Constance? She's over by Splash Mountain," Peyton replied, waving him off.

"...Constance. You know her name now?" he asked, eye twitching.

Peyton shrugged. "I was curious, it ain't a crime. They call her the Black Widow Bride, and the people in charge of the refurbishment had a member that saw her hangin' around, so they added her on. She's on the Disneyland version, too." She then secretively scooted closer to him, and Ichigo being Ichigo didn't notice, thank God.

"...Hey, Peyton?"

"Yo."

"Can I ask you something?"

God, she hated when people asked for her permission to ask her something. It always made her about five times more nervous. But all she said was, "Sure."

"It's about the mistletoe thing."

Great. This was going to get awkward _real_ fast.

"...Okay, shoot."

He paused, starting to flush. "Why did you kiss me like that?" he finally asked in a rush.

_Crap. Crap crap crap crap!_

"...W-Well, why did _you_ kiss _me_ like that?" she retorted, forcing down the blush in her cheeks.

_Yeah, Peyton. Turn the tables!_

Ichigo sighed in annoyance, embarrassment completely forgotten. "Fine, I'm just not gonna answer that."

"Neither am I!"

"Good."

"Good!"

"Fine."

"Double fine."

"TRIPLE fine."

"QUADRUPLE fine!"

"And you know what?"

"_What_, Ichigo!"

"If you kissed me this very second, I would NOT kiss you like that!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Well, if _you _kissed _me _this very second, I wouldn't kiss _you_ like that _either_!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Really?"

"REALLY, Ichigo."

"We'll see about _that_."

"Bring it!"

He gripped the back of her neck, pulling her closer to him. "Prove it!" he fumed, temple throbbing.

"I will if you hurry up and _kiss me_, jackass," she snapped, grabbing him by the hair and hoping it hurt, but he seemed to like it more than anything.

They were just about to try and prove the other wrong when they heard a very shrill squeal. "OH! Look, it's Peyton and Ichigo!"

* * *

**Me: (sly smile) Wow, Ichigo...are you just that competitive? 'Cause to me it seems you've got the hots for Peyton.**

**Ichigo: H-H-Hell no!**

**Me: (imitating his voice) W-what's with the s-s-stutter, then?**

**Rukia: Honestly, both you dumbasses shut the hell up!**

**Together: (look at shoes) sorrryyy, rukiaaaa..**


	16. Body Language

**Me: So, we're back from the cliffha-**

**Rukia: SHUT THE HELL UP!! I wanna see what happens next!!**

**Me: (sweatdrops) ....WELL, then!**

* * *

Peyton and Ichigo glared at each other for extra measure before turning to see who had recognized them.

Their jaws dropped. "No fricking _way_," Ichigo muttered.

Matsumoto gave him her usual flirty smile. "But here we are! It was actually quite easy. Eavesdrop a little, forge a few signatures, take a few pictures...It was fun, huh, Captain?"

Toshiro, who was trying to hide a Mickey Mouse hat behind his back, smirked. "Even _I_ must admit, it was entertaining to see how easy it is to charm these female employees in charge of our arrival."

_That was a lot of extra words. What a waste of breath..._

* * *

Ichigo hopped down, and Peyton followed suit. Well, not quite as gracefully, but he was nice enough to steady her by grabbing her at the elbow.

Matsumoto grinned again, flipping her hair back. "Quite interesting, I must say. What exactly were you two about to _do _up there?"

Ichigo turned bright red, letting go, and Peyton attempted to get some nonexistent dirt off her shirt. "_Noooothinggg_," they said in unison.

"_Really_? Because to _me_, it looked like you were about to make out. _Again_."

"We did NOT make OUT, dammit!!" They shouted.

To prove even further that tonight was not their night, the Nosy Mom from earlier was still roaming the park.

She heard the voices, and seemed to recognize them, but of course couldn't see them.

Peyton sighed miserably as she literally _dragged _her son around the corner with another "Eek!", kicking up a cloud of dust and everything.

Ichigo was laughing his ass off.

Toshiro cocked his head. "Peyton, your aura's changed." "Not permanently. Just enough so I can only be seen by those who match my aura," she replied smugly.

Ichigo huffed. "Showoff."

"Oh, and like _you_ never show off!"

"Hey, this isn't _about_ me!!"

They both glared at each other and huffed moodily. Matsumoto let out a giggle. "You two are _so_ _cute_."

"Ignoring that," Peyton snapped.

* * *

On the way to the bus stops, Peyton noticed the hat again and slyly took it out of Toshiro's hand. She held it up, as if not believing what she was seeing.

"What's _this_, Toshiro?" She asked innocently. Matsumoto was biting her lip to keep from smiling.

Ichigo was practically on the ground, he was laughing so hard.

It was one of the old-fashioned Mickey hats, the ones made of that flimsy plastic-like material with a round Mickey Mouse Club sticker on the front and the strap that goes around the wearer's neck.

Her guess? Matsumoto convinced him to buy it.

Toshiro turned red, but said nothing. Peyton felt just a wee bit bad, since he had a soft spot for her, so she gave it back.

"Wish _I _had one."

Their fun over, Matsumoto and Ichigo continued walking like normal people. Peyton pretended not to see Toshiro perk up at her comment.

Sometimes, she seemed to be the only person who remembered he wasn't a full-grown Soul Reaper. Or maybe she was psychic and could see the real meanings behind his Captain Demeanor.

* * *

Matsumoto and Toshiro were staying in the French Quarter, which was a separate bus. So, guess who got a whole bus to themselves?

Yeah.

"....Still think you won't kiss me back?" Ichigo asked about halfway there.

Peyton jumped at the sound of his voice, having been trying to catch some Zzz's in the corner.

She glared at him. "Oh, I _know _I wouldn't."

Ichigo crossed his arms and nodded, closing his eyes. "Fine then."

Peyton had to admit, she was slightly disappointed. "..You're dropping it? _Just_ like that?!"

Ichigo opened one eye and smirked. "...Why yes, yes I am. What's wrong with dropping it?"

_Crap._

Peyton huffed. "Nothing's _wrong_ with it, I'm just.."

"Disappointed?"

"SURPRISED," she shot back quickly.

The driver kept glancing in their direction nervously, not being able to see either one of them.

Ichigo smirked. "...Wait...You wanna _prove_ it, _don't_ you?"

_Little bit._

"N-No!!" She shouted.

Ichigo scoffed. "You're so lying. Just admit it. You want to PROVE IT."

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Just _drop _it!!"

He was quiet for a while, and she leaned back and tried to get comfortable again.

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Peyton had tried her best to ignore the humming, but then he had to go and add damn _words_.

"Peyton wants to _prove _it, Peyton wants to proooovee itttt, PEYTON wants to PROVE I-"

Peyton finally let out a growl and shot out of her seat. "THAT'S IT!!!"

Unfortunately, they hit a turn, and she ended up sliding across the aisle and tripping spastically.

She was still really pissed, but then she turned bright red.

Of all places for Peyton to land, she landed right on top of him.

As in, in his lap.

He smirked, though his ears were red, too. "Well, hi, Peyton. What do _you _want for Christmas?"

* * *

"I was trying to beat the crap out of you."

"Mmhmm. Sure."

Peyton crossed her arms. "Now, just because you said that so sarcastically, I'm going to stay right _here_."

Ichigo smirked. "Not if I make you squirm enough."

Peyton huffed defiantly.

She felt his hand slowly slinking around her waist, and she felt herself turning red. But dammit, he was NOT going to win this time!

No matter how many shivers he was sending down her spine.

It didn't stay at her waist; he slid it down to rest on her thigh. She bit her lip, trying her best not to squirm, but man, was it hard.

Peyton could feel him staring at her, so she stole a glance at him. His smirk was even bigger, and he seemed slightly impressed that she was lasting this long.

The hand moved back up, to rest on her hip. Peyton dug her nails into her arms. Why was she so naturally stubborn?!

_It's hot as hell in here!!_

He started to go further up, but then the bus screeched to a halt, and they both jumped.

They were here.

She hadn't realized she had leaned that far back, and their faces were only inches apart.

For a minute, neither of them moved, and she noticed she wasn't the only one whose breathing had quickened just a little.

Peyton smirked and hopped up. "I win."

She tried to keep the shakiness out of her voice, but she was pretty sure Ichigo could tell her knees felt a little weak, and he just laughed to himself.

Stupid Ichigo.

_**

* * *

**_

_**THIRTY ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Rukia had bombarded her with interrogation techniques almost as soon as Peyton had opened the hotel room door, and she listened intently to her whole story.

Finally, she spoke.

"You know what's the _most _messed up with that?"

"What."

"Disney World is a place for children."

And with that, she turned off the light.

Peyton still saw the grin that had been on Rukia's face, though.

She had made herself swear not to think about it, over and over, so of course she started thinking about the bus ride. Call her crazy, but she was pretty sure the Florida weather had nothing to do with how hot it suddenly got in there.

Peyton could still feel the goosebumps on her skin.

Stupid Ichigo, making her react like that.

**

* * *

**

**Me: (waves hand like a fan) Damn, Peyton was right. It's really hot in here now. (Shoots sly look at Ichigo) How about you? I saw your expressions, Strawberry. Don't lie!**

**Ichigo: (obviously distracted) Uhmmm...REVIEW?!**

**Me: Way to change the subject, ass. (brightens) Well, at least you said something worth hearing for a change! Review!**


	17. LoveGame

_**Me: I would like to specially thank **_**MiloMaxwell **_**for their bloody brilliant ideas!**_

**_Rukia: Sooo, we dedicate this chapter to you. (smiles brightly)_**

**_Ichigo: (rolls eyes from the corner) Honestly. You two disgust me sometimes._**

**_Me: (stage-whispers to Rukia) SOMEONE's wearing their PMS-Pants this evening!_**

**_Enjoy!_**

_**

* * *

**__**THE ****NEXT MORNING...**_

"Ichigooooooo?!!!"

Rukia jolted awake, and sweatdropped. Peyton looked absolutely traumatized, sitting up in bed. "What the hell, Peyton? It was so _quiet_..."

Peyton, covers pulled to her chin, pointed a slightly-shaky finger at an object on the nightstand.

Rukia climbed out of bed and peered at what had shaken her up. It was a picture of a snoring Ichigo, and it said at the bottom, in big letters, "I Wuv You!"

"Oh. My. GOD."

Peyton nodded angrily. "You _see_?"

Ichigo barged in, looking extremely ticked off. "This better be good. What the _hell_ could be _so_ important that you wake me up at the crack of-"

Peyton stood up, grabbed the horrifying picture, and shoved it at him. "What the hell were you _thinking_?!"

Ichigo stared down at the picture. "'I Wuv You'? What kind of _dumbass _would-"

"That's _you_, idiot!!"

Ichigo turned about five shades paler, and started spazzing out. "WHAT THE HELL?!"

Peyton threw up a hand. "Yes, exactly. That's what I said. As if last night didn't freak me out _enough_."

"C'mon, Peyton, I swear I didn't give you this- …._Wait_ a minute..." A slow grin spread across his face.

"...So...last night, I _did_ freak you out? That means...that means _I_ won, not _you_! HA!!!"

_**BAM! THWACK! THUNK!**_

"Ow!! Dammit, Peyton!"

Peyton crawled back into her bed, panting angrily, and pointed at the door joining the rooms. "_Out_."

Ichigo pointed a finger right back at her. "I bet you did this yourself. And now I have three new bruises. So, _of course you know_, this means _war_."

"So be it!"

"_Fine_!!"

"FINE!! And pick that stupid alarm clock up on your way out!!"

"Maybe you shouldn't have thrown it at him."

"SHUT UP RUKIA!!!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

Rukia made the mistake of telling Matsumoto and Toshiro, who promptly laughed their asses off.

Peyton sighed in annoyance, starting to blush again. "It's not funny! It was one of the scariest moments of my life, waking up to see that!!"

Matsumoto was clutching her stomach, she was laughing so hard. "I wonder wha't he's gonna do to get you back...."

"Probably something stupid. But you know what? There's nothing he could POSSIBLY do that could freak me out as much as that damn picture did to both of us. You know what else? I bet he really DID gimme that picture, so I could totally spazz about it! _And_, let me tell you, I-"

Rukia tapped her shoulder, and Peyton slowly turned to look at her. "_Yes_, Rukia? What's the meaning behind interrupting my rant?"

Rukia, obviously on the brink of laughing, pointed to their left. Everyone but Rukia's jaws hit the cobblestone pavement of Magic Kingdom. Ichigo was being chatted up by a chick. An obviously hot chick.

"...Dude, even _I_ feel jealous," Matsumoto commented. "And I don't even _like_ the guy!!"

Peyton's temple throbbed. "Neither do I. But I'm not jealous."

Toshiro quickly regained his cool composure. "...She IS quite attractive, Peyton."

Matsumoto scoffed. "_Quite attractive_?! Captain, she practically _reeks_ of raw lust!!"

"Can we NOT talk about that? You're giving me mental images," Peyton commented, making everyone cringe at the thought.

Toshiro suddenly got an evil grin, something you didn't see on him every day. And on Toshiro, it was freaking terrifying.

"Peyton?"

"Yes, Toshiro."

"I have an idea.."

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****MINUTES LATER..**_

Ichigo was starting to think this just might work. He had paid this chick about fifty bucks to flirt with him, and Peyton was definitely not liking it.

_This is the best idea I've had in forever! She is SO gonna pay for blaming that stupid picture on me. So what if it was ME in the picture?! It could've easily been taken by anyone. Probably Keigo. _

_I wouldn't leave it past him to stalk Peyton all the way to...well, no...he's dating her sister now...Hmm, that still bugs me, it's so wei-_

Ichigo was brought out of his thoughts by a very flirty-sounding giggle. And it wasn't the hot chick.

In fact, it sounded almost exactly like Peyton, but there was no way it was Peyton. Not when he had _such_ a good plan!!

Ichigo's jaw hit the ground when he found out where the source of the noise had come from. It was, in fact, Peyton. But she was flirting...with Toshiro.

Mr. Panties-in-a-Wad-Life-is-Serious-Business-TOSHIRO.

Apparently he wasn't so _serious _anymore. They were going all-out with this flirting business, too. He had an arm around her waist and everything.

And Matsumoto was busy buying popcorn, but still looked jealous. THAT'S what made Ichigo worried that the flirting thing might be legit.

I mean, everyone knew Toshiro had a soft spot for Peyton. Damn Annoying Midget. Gets on everyone's good side. Even Ichigo's, though he hated her for it now.

The hot chick waved a hand in his face, and he blinked. "Huh? What?" She sighed and took the bills out of his hand before sauntering away, muttering something about wasting ten minutes of her life on a lovesick strawberry.

So what did Ichigo do to solve the Toshiro-and-Peyton dilemma?

Followed them, of course. All the way to Splash Mountain.

_**

* * *

**_

_**THIRTY ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Peyton could tell Toshiro was having fun with this whole Make-Ichigo-Lose-The-Prank-War thing.

Now he had an excuse to act like a normal, hormonal guy who had never been to Disney World before.

Rukia and Matsumoto had tagged along, to see what Ichigo would do about it.

….But really, everyone just wanted to ride Splash Mountain.

Toshiro and Matsumoto hadn't really rode anything yet, and as soon as they had seen a log dive down with a bunch of screaming people...they fell in love with it and demanded to ride it.

Rukia and Peyton, of course, had absolutely no problem with that.

Peyton was in the middle of explaining that the frog, whose shadow could be seen rocking in a chair and smoking a pipe in one of the burrows while waiting to ride, was SUPPOSED to be there, when Ichigo slid right into Peyton, knocking Toshiro's hand off her waist.

"Why thanks so much for saving my spot. Again. _How kind_."

* * *

Peyton tried to stay as calm as possible, which was pretty damn hard when dealing with a bonehead like Ichigo.

"..You're _so welcome_," she shot back, inching closer to Toshiro and smirking triumphantly.

Everyone in line (including Toshiro) preceded to follow their argument like it was a ping-pong match.

"I know you're just doing all this to make me jealous. Well guess what: it's not working!!"

"Ichigo, I have _no _idea what you're talking about!"

"Oh yeah?!"

"Yeah."

"What's with all the laughing?!"

"He's funny."

"And the hand on the waist?! What the hell?!"

"It was convenient, so what?!"

"What do you _mean_, so what?!"

"Look, even if it WAS the big deal you're making it out to be, I don't have to listen to you. In fact, I can do whatever I want."

"Um, _no_, you _can't_."

"News flash, Ichigo: Last time I checked, _you're _not my boyfriend. Therefore, I can _flirt _if I _want_."

"B-but that's not the _point_!"

"YEAH, it is!! At least TOSHIRO would never send me creepy pictures!!"

"I NEVER SENT THE DAMN PICTURE!!!"

"THEN WHO DID?!"

"How should _I _know?!"

"Well, how come _you _can flirt with chicks, but _I _can't laugh at Toshiro's jokes and let him put a hand on my waist?! Considering where you put YOUR hand last night..."

By this time, practically everybody in line within earshot was either covering their children's ears, trying not to laugh, or were already gasping for air from laughing their heads off.

Their friends were part of the last group in that list.

They resorted to staring the other down.

"...Peyton?"

"YES," she snapped.

"...Would you mind moving up in line now?" Rukia asked.

Everyone sweatdropped; everyone had been so caught up in the argument that no one had noticed the totally open space, leading right up to the logs.

Peyton laughed nervously. "Ohhh...Riiiggghttt..."

**

* * *

**

**Me: (sly grin) ....Well gee, no WONDER you're so bitchy. I would be too if i looked like that much of a jealous dumbass.**

**Ichigo: (throws gauntlet) SHUT THE FUCK UP!!**

**Rukia: (sweatdrops) whats with you and throwing medieval objects lately, Ichigo?**

**ME: (obviously pissed and rubbing head) dammit ichigo!! (throws giant medieval drumstick that one gets at Renaissance Fairs) TAKE THAT!**

**Rukia: (hides in corner and assumes fetal positon as a battle ensues) Review and save my ass!!!**


	18. I like you much better when you're naked

**Me: Well. Ichigo, care to give us a little hint as to what happens next?**

**Ichigo: (obviously embarrassed) yeah. next, I'm gonna kick your ass if you don't shut up!!!**

**Rukia: Whoa. What did i miss?!**

* * *

Peyton had woken up early to get revenge on Ichigo, after the whole argument thing.

They had found out that by the time they had gotten back to the room and access to a computer, the fight was already on Youtube.

Yeah. All their classmates certainly found it _hilarious_.

_Although_, Peyton mused as she turned up the hot water, _I'm kinda impressed. Already fifty thousand views in less than twenty-four hours. _

She had just wrapped herself in a towel and was opening the bathroom door when she heard a noise behind her.

Peyton whirled around, scrutinizing the wall before coming to the conclusion that it was a just a creak.

As she turned back around, she ran right into Ichigo, and they bumped heads before falling to the tile.

* * *

"Ouch! What the hell was _that_, Ichigo?!"

Peyton rubbed her forehead tenderly before blushing. Ichigo was on top of her. And she was in nothing but a towel.

He blinked dumbly. "You're very...wet."

"Yeah. I take my showers while I'm naked, actually," Peyton snapped in annoyance.

He quickly sat up like the true spazz he was, helping her up as she kept a death-grip on her towel.

He then glared at her. "It took me about half an hour to get that lizard out of my hair."

Peyton blinked innocently. "Maybe you should learn not to leave your door open. All _sorts _of things can sneak in there."

Ichigo smirked. "What? Like _naked girls in towels_?"

"NO, but _guys in frog boxers_ can certainly barge in on naked girls in towels."

* * *

She had a sudden thought while he was busy turning red over his boxers. "Hey, wait. If a girl's wearing a _towel_, doesn't that mean she has something covering her, so she's not _naked_ anymore?"

"I guess. Either way, you're _still _very wet."

"That tends to happen. Wait, haven't we covered this?!"

Ichigo got all annoyed again. "Either way, I _know_ this is all because I made you _jealous_ yesterday."

Peyton got closer, so if she got annoyed enough she could slap him. "NOOOO, it's because you scared the crap out of me with that stupid picture!! And I _wasn't _jealous, thanks very much!!"

"How many times do I have to tell you?! I DIDN'T SEND THE PICTURE."

Peyton huffed. "Well, even if you didn't, I just KNOW this was all brought on because you wouldn't believe me about that _stupid_ kiss!!"

"What about it?!"

"About me kissing you back and how I could go my WHOLE LIFE never kissing you _ever again_."

"Ever."

"EVER!!"

"So _all I have to do_ to get you to stop annoying me is kiss you again?"

"What?! How would _that_ solve anything?!"

"Because then it'd shut you _up_ for once."

Peyton narrowed her eyes. "I dare you to even try."

He put a hand on her shoudler to keep her in one place. "That can easily be arranged."

* * *

Peyton eyed his hand threateningly, wondering if she should bite him. "Nope, not this time. You are NOT gonna make me squirm again."

Ichigo grinned rather evilly. "I bet I can. In fact, it should be even easier this time."

"And why is that," she snapped.

"Because _all _I have to do is get your towel off."

_WHAT?!!_

Peyton stifled a gasp. "...You wouldn't _dare_!"

His grip moved to her back, fiddling with the hem of the towel. "Oh, I would."

Peyton held her head higher in defiance. "Humph. Fine. I dare you. Go ahead."

* * *

He tried to keep his spazzing to a minimum, but she could see the shocked look on his face after knowing him so long. "W-What? Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"Lemme get this straight. I just threatened to remove this towel, the only thing covering you, which would essentially make you.._naked_..and you're _cool _with it?!"

"Yeah, I am. Go ahead. I _dare you_, Ichigo."

Now she had him where she wanted him. "Actually, I bet you _would_, just so you don't have to kiss me again. Because THEN it would make _me _the winner, because you're SO gonna kiss me back."

Ichigo narrowed his eyes. "No I wouldn't."

Peyton smirked. "Prove it."

_Good. I'd take a quick kiss over him seeing me naked any day...Well, actually, both sound horrifying.._

"Fine!!"

And with that said, he kissed her. Again.

* * *

It was weird at first, because both were determined not to be the first to kiss back, which was fighting natural instinct. But then Peyton had to breathe, and so she moved just a little, and _he _took that as HER kissing back first.

But _she _thought him pulling away was HIM kissing back first.

So then they were both sort of kissing back, and it became a competition to see who would pull away first.

And so far, neither planned on losing. _Dammit._

Ichigo's thumb started tracing circles on her back, obviously trying to get her to chicken out and pull away, but there was no way he was winning this time!!

She was about to try and outdo him when they heard a very distinct shriek, followed by a "DAAAAADDDDD!!!!!!"

**

* * *

**

**Me: Wow, it's even funnier in writing, eh, Ichigo? And _hotter_.**

**Ichigo: (turns about five shades of red) SHUT THE HELL UP!!**

**Rukia: (pissed off) Dammit! How could i sleep through all that?! I was right in the next room! All i heard was the shrieking!**

**Me: (shrugs) sucks for you. Huh. Weird. You were in a sucky position to hear things while Ichigo was sucking face. Ha! That sounds funny to say!!**

**Ichigo: Yeah, well, YOUR FACE is funny to see!!!**

**Me: (rolls eyes) Review! And maybe throw in some better combacks for poor Ichigo.**

**Ichigo: Hey!!!**


	19. Teenagers

**Me: So. Ichigo. You and Peyton's little episode sure gave me a ton of reviews!**

**Rukia: (cheerful) Yeah! We hit the forty mark, thanks to you! **

**Me: (ignoring Ichigo's look of pure murder) ACTUALLY, we're PAST the forty mark. So...we dedicate this chapter to my buddy, Ichigo Kurosaki. Whose activities with Peyton Cullen in the hotel bathroom made him a legend on my fanfic.**

**Ichigo: (looking around for his medieval objects) Just wait. By the end of this chapter, I'll figure out where my weapons went, and I'll fucking KICK YOUR ASS!!**

**Me: (totally not worried) Enjoy!**

* * *

They both immediately opened their eyes, let go of each other, and jumped about ten feet away from each other in one fluid motion.

Peyton glared at him, and he glared right back. They heard little feet running out of the room, through the door system, and fast talking.

They were _so_ screwed.

Rukia yawned and sat up, stretching lazily. Then she blinked at them, as if trying to figure out what was wrong with this picture.

Peyton and Ichigo blinked back innocently. Then, she gasped and pointed at Ichigo.

"YOU PERVERT!!!! Why are you in the bathroom with Peyton, while she's practically naked?!"

Before either could reply, they heard a gasp of shock before a loud, "ICHIGOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

Ichigo turned about five shades paler as Isshin practically ran into the bathroom. "Ichigo Kurosaki?! I...I.." Isshin's face suddenly broke out into a grin. "Have _never _been more proud of you than at this very moment!!!"

* * *

"WHAT?!" Everyone but Ichigo exclaimed. Ichigo was too busy grinning smugly at everybody, which made Peyton want to smack him.

Karin crossed her arms. "Are you _kidding _me?! He was making out with Peyton...while she's in a _towel_...who _knows _what could've happened if Yuzu hadn't snuck in here?!"

Isshin pointed at her. "_You_ should've stopped your sister! Is _one_ grandchild too much to ask?!"

This time Peyton's "WHAT?!" was the loudest.

Rukia stood up on her bed angrily. "Ichigo?! You are freaking _dead_, you hear me?! DEAD. Taking advantage of Peyton like that!!"

_Okay, now this is just getting ridiculous...!!_

"Quite honestly, I'm _offended_," Peyton mumbled to herself. Ichigo just pointed at her and laughed.

_**BONK!!**_

"Dammit, Peyton!!"

Karin and Yuzu sweatdropped. "She's gonna regret hitting him with that towel rack once she gets the hotel bill..."

Yuzu nodded slowly. "Personally, I just have to wonder how the heck she ripped it off the wall like that!"

_**

* * *

**__**THREE ****HOURS LATER...**_

"Okay, _honestly_, you two are acting more like animals than the animals _themselves_!!" Rukia scolded after catching them glaring at each other for the millionth time.

They pointed at one another before shouting, "IT'S ALL HIS/HER FAULT!!!"

"It takes two to make out in the bathroom," Rukia pointed out, to which Matsumoto's and Toshiro's jaws hit the floor.

They were in Animal Kingdom today, and the other two Soul Reapers had just recently ran into them.

Matsumoto pouted. "No one tells me _any _of the hot stuff that goes on around here...!"

Peyton and Ichigo sweatdropped. "It wasn't hot, it was a competition," Ichigo commented matter-of-factly.

Matsumoto cocked a perfectly-plucked eyebrow. "What the _hell _kind of competition was it? Whoever's tongue gets down the other's throat first wins a prize?!"

Both Peyton and Ichigo went spastic, making everyone passing by stare at them.

"NO!!! UGH, MENTAL IMAGE!!"

"AHHH, MY EARS!!!"

_**

* * *

**__**TWO ****HOURS LATER...**_

"Ichigo, I'm not arguing about this _any more _with you," Peyton stated, crossing her arms and leaning against the bridge over the flamingo pool.

"_Not _fair! All you have to do is explain to my dad how it was all your idea, and that's all!"

"But it _wasn't _all my idea. And I really doubt he could care less whose _idea _it was," Peyton pointed out.

"B-But-"

"No."

"But _Peytooonnn_," he whined.

"NO."

"That's pretty selfish!"

"Why do _you _care so much? He's gonna keep telling people regardless. You look like a legend, and I look like a slut. So congrats."

As if on cue, they saw Isshin talking to a man a little ways off. They knew exactly what he was talking about after seeing the blush on Yuzu's cheeks, the look of pure disbelief on Karin's, and the way he pointed at Ichigo and Peyton.

"See?"

Ichigo sighed. "Look, I can NOT have him thinking I actually wanted to make out with you."

Peyton glared at him. "Oh, wow, Ichigo. Thanks. You know _just _what to say to make me want to kill you!"

"What, what'd I say?!"

"Considering it was either _that _or try and take off my towel, I'm pretty damn sure you were liking the first option!" She exclaimed, making a couple passing by give them suggestive looks.

Ichigo sweatdropped. "Wow, Peyton. YOU know just what to say to make me look like a total pervert."

"You don't need help in that department."

* * *

Ichigo made an offended noise. "I am NOT a pervert!!"

Peyton had a mischeivous glint in her eyes. "Oh yeah? How did we first officially meet, hmm?"

He sighed. "...In your bathroom...while you were taking a shower.."

"How many times have you looked at my ass?"

He sighed again. "...Seven or eight-"

"_Ichigo_."

"Twelve.."

"And, _do _refresh my memory...WHERE have you managed to put your hands in the past seventy-four hours _alone_??"

Ichigo turned bright red. "I get the point, okay?!"

Peyton laughed and pointed at him. "_You_, Kurosaki, are a full-fledged _pervert_!"

He waved her off. "So are you!"

Peyton nodded slowly. "True, but we weren't talking about me, now, were we?"

They were quiet for a minute, and then Ichigo very calmly turned to her. "Hey Peyton?"

"Yes?"

"You do realize what my dad's _really _telling everybody isn't _just _that we made out, but that I might've impregnated you, right?"

_**SLAP!**_

"Ow! I'M not saying it, dammit!" He flicked her right between the eyes.

"Ow! What the hell was _that _supposed to be, Ichigo?!"

"I read somewhere it usually calms down bloodthirsty animals."

_**STOMP! SLAP! POP!**_

"Ow! Ow! Dammit, _ow_!"

"DO I LOOK CALM TO YOU?!"

"You're _never _calm. Spazz."

She was about to kick him again, but she slipped and flipped off the edge of the bridge, falling right into the water with the flamingos.

* * *

It was less than a three foot drop, but now she was soaked and her back hurt like hell, and Ichigo being in a heap on the ground from laughing so hard was NOT improving things.

He finally gained enough composure to hold out a hand. Peyton smiled sweetly at him, and before he could pull away like any other smart person, she yanked him into the water with a triumphant yell.

"TAKE THAT, KUROSAKI!!!"

By this time, not only were passersby looking at them weird, but so were the flamingos. Once Ichigo came up, Peyton was the one busting a gut laughing. He glared at her before grabbing her by the waist. "Hey, whoa, what're you doing? Ichigo!!!"

He flipped her into the water with ease, a huge smirk on his face. She came up sputtering and glaring at him.

He simply pointed at her as a flamingo played with a few strands of her hair. "...Karma."

* * *

**Me: (yelling over shoulder) You'll never find 'em!**

**Ichigo: (from the distance) WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO WITH MY MEDEIVAL WEAPONS, MANDY?!!!**

**Me: (innocent) Noooooothinnnnggg!!**

**Rukai: (whispers) Seriously, Mandy. What DID you do with them?**

**Me: (evil laugh) I buried half of them in the backyard and fed the rest to Pluto!**

**Rukia: (impressed) Wow. You're evil AND creative!**

**Me: (shrugs) It's a gift. REVIEW!**


	20. Out of the Blue

_**Me: Well, Ichigo's a bit busy at the moment, and Rukia's off in line somewhere. So it's just little ole me for the moment!**_

**_Enjoy!_**

_**

* * *

**_

_**THIRTY-SEVEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

They finally caught up with Rukia, Matsumoto, and Toshiro.

The three sweatdropped at the sight. Peyton had her hands on her hips angrily, and Ichigo looked to be about ready to strangle someone.

They both were absolutely soaked, and Peyton's hair hung in dark, wet waves around her face.

They swung ominously as she stomped over to their spot in line for Expedition Everest.

"...Hello."

"...Hi, Peyton, Ichigo," Rukia said carefully.

"What the hell _happened _to you two?" Matsumoto asked a little less subtly.

They shot glares at each other before Peyton cleared her throat angrily. "Well. Ichigo made me fall into a pool with flamingos."

Ichigo scoffed. "I did not! You flipped over the side all on your own!"

"Yeah, well YOU started the argument!"

"You beat me up!"

"You flicked me between the eyes!"

"You kicked my legs out from under me!"

"You flipped me headfirst into shallow water!"

They both ignored Rukia's "You did WHAT?!".

"Yeah, well YOU wouldn't do me one simple favor!"

"Yeah, and YOU made the Disney officials have to sedate the damn flamingo to get my hair out of its mouth!"

The other three started laughing at that, and Ichigo smirked triumphantly.

Peyton just crossed her arms and huffed. "Whatever. I'm going to win an argument one of these days, and then I'm gonna point a finger right in your face, and yell 'HA! Take that, you son of a-"

Ichigo tapped her shoulder, and she jumped. Peyton slowly turned the full force of her glare on him. "...Yes?"

He pointed to a glass case with actual interest. "Look. Sasquatch's _foot_."

Peyton's eyes grew wide, and they both stared at the case in wonder.

Toshiro and Rukia sweatdropped. "...You're _both _gullible idiots."

Matsumoto giggled. "I love how at Disney World, you love the stuff you can look at during the wait _almost_ as much as the ride itself."

_**

* * *

**_

_**TEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Too bad this is just a two-seater," Peyton commented casually. Ichigo drooped. "Well, you didn't HAVE to sit with me!"

Peyton smirked. "NO, not that. It's too bad, because now I'll be the only one who can hear you screaming like a little girl," she informed him.

Ichigo narrowed his eyes. "Have you even been on this before, Peyton?"

"Nope."

"Betchya twenty bucks you scream first."

"You are SO on," she said with a chuckle. They slapped hands together as the ride started moving, and they went up a steep climb into "The Himalayas".

* * *

They soon found out that they were both losing twenty bucks, because they screamed at the exact same moment; when a sharp, steep drop came out of nowhere.

So, after the bet was effectively ruined, they yelled and laughed their asses off through almost the whole ride.

Except, of course, when they reached the end of the tracks, all bent up and broken.

Rukia gasped behind them. "I bet it was the Yeti, with the way they seem to have been snapped off."

Peyton and Ichigo exchanged an "Oh shit this is gonna be _so _awesome" look, and Matsumoto giggled with anticipation over what was going to happen next.

"...So...are we going to move?" Toshiro asked no one in particular. A few girls behind their group giggled in response, and Ichigo rolled his eyes.

Peyton sweatdropped. "Only Toshiro could manage to inflict the full force of his apparent hotness just from a view of the back of his head."

As if on cue, the ride hissed, and they shot backwards, into a cave in the dark.

Peyton and Ichigo sounded like two frat-boys the way they were yelling as they surged up the hill, gravity making it feel as if they would flip upside-down any moment.

Sadly, they didn't, but it was still an awesome ride.

_**

* * *

**_

_**SIX ****HOURS LATER...**_

They had kept making bets on who would spazz first one each ride the rest of the day, and even stayed a little later as Soul Reaper and, as Ichigo called it, Imaginary Peyton, to ride some rides without being noticed.

They had just gotten off of Kali River Water Rapids again, an awesome raft ride, and Peyton was soaked all over again.

"Look on the bright side, at least you weren't wearing a _white _shirt today," Ichigo commented.

"...Well, good for _you_, anyway," he added moodily to himself.

Peyton laughed before popping another piece of popcorn into her mouth.

She had gotten some from an abandoned cart in the park, but had felt kind of bad, so she had left the amount in the cash compartment of the kiosk.

"Ha! At least you're an _honest _pervert," she replied pleasantly as they boarded the last running bus for the night.

* * *

Peyton had just gotten stretched out on the seats in the back, all nice and cozy, when she felt someone poke her shoulder.

Well, there was only one person _that _could be.

Peyton slowly opened one eye. "..._What_, Ichigo?"

He flashed a half-smile at her. "You wanna know something?"

"Sure. Knowing stuff is cool."

"It's fun to hang with you when we're not killing each other."

Peyton sat up with a smile. "Yeah, you're not so bad yourself, Kurosaki. ALTHOUGH..."

At the "although", Ichigo let out a groan, and the driver looked around in his rear-view mirror.

Of course, he didn't see anything, but whatever.

She laughed again. "Will you let me finish? _Although _you made me fly into a pool with flamingos, insisted my pants were soaked because I wasn't house-trained, yelled at Rukia when she tried to hand me a Coke before pointing to a sign that told us not to feed the animals, and told anyone that asked that yes, I WAS carrying your spawn...._I _had fun, too," she concluded cheerfully.

Ichigo grinned. "Hey, you gotta admit. I was on a freaking _roll _today."

"Yeah, very true."

Peyton yawned and rested her head on shoulder. Expecting him to protest, she informed him, "Hey, you sat _right _where I was laying. I intend to rest my head _somewhere_!"

Ichigo laughed. "I wasn't gonna say anything."

_Whoa. Damn, am I dreaming??_

"...Really? You _always _say something."

"What can I say? Guess you've grown on me."

A slow grin spread onto Peyton's face, and he quickly cleared his throat. "Uh, um, what I mean- what I MEANT was...that I guess I'm used to you bugging the shit out of me."

"Yeah."

"It's what I MEANT, Peyton!"

Peyton laughed, but it was interrupted by a yawn. "...Ichigo?"

"What?"

"Just shut up. You're ruining the moment."

"Right."

* * *

**Me: Awww! I wish I was still in Disney World... (sighs)**

**Rukia: (Groans from her bed) Could you NOT narrarate at fucking one in the morning?!**

**Me: (whispers) R-E-V-I-E-W!!!**


	21. I Want You To

**Me: Yay! A looonggg chapp, you guys.**

**Ichigo: Like that's something to be freaking happy about..**

**Me: You're just in a tizzy 'cause you-**

**Ichigo: SHUT THE HELL UP!**

**Rukia: (sighs) Ichigo, that's your answer to pretty much everything she says.**

**Ichigo: (shrugs)**

**Me: ENJOY!**

* * *

Peyton tried not to notice, but everyone was acting kind of weird most of the day. Sneaky. As if they knew something she didn't.

Since Ichigo had the same look about him, she didn't like it. He NEVER knows stuff before her unless _he _does it!!

Plus, everyone knew Peyton hated surprises when she didn't know about them.

They were at MGM Studios today, and Peyton was getting more suspicious by the minute.

Ichigo noticed, and just pointed at her and laughed. For no clear apparent reason. To anyone other than Peyton, he looked insane.

But she just flashed an evil smile. "Oh, just you wait. _I _know how I'll find out." And with that, she stayed by Isshin's side for a while.

Sure enough, he eventually cracked. "Oh, I can't take it anymore!!"

This made everyone jump, but Isshin simply pulled Peyton into a huge bear hug. "Happy birthday, Future Daughter-In-Law!!!"

_

* * *

_

_WHAT?!_

"B-But...how did you know?!" She asked him before turning to the others. Well, as best as she could while still in the bear hug. They simply grinned.

"Did you really think Rukia wouldn't say something to me?" Yuzu asked. "And _she_ told me," Karin supplied.

"They both told _me_," Ichigo added.

"And then my wonderful son told _me_!" Isshin informed her.

"And then _they_ told _me_, and _I_ told Captain here," Matsumoto concluded.

Peyton just sweatdropped. "Wow. You have your own system?" She asked, the last part coming out weird as Isshin dropped her back onto her feet.

Rukia smiled sweetly. "You're not mad at me, right?"

Peyton waved her off as everyone else continued walking. "Nah. It's no biggie. Just as long as no one got me anything," she added.

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****HOURS LATER...**_

Peyton and Matsumoto exchanged an evil grin. "IIIIIIIchiggggooooo?" They called out sweetly.

Ichigo turned around, took in the building, then laughed anxiously. "Oh, _hell _no!"

Matsumoto sighed in disappointment, but Peyton decided to use her Secret Weapon.

She widened her brown eyes in an adorable puppy-like fashion. "Pleeeease, Ichigo? It could be my birthday present!"

"Hey, I gave you a necklace! A flipping GOLD necklace!!"

Peyton sighed. "Ichigo, that was just because you were convinced Keigo gave me one."

"Well, he did....didn't he?"

"...Um, of course! Just _pleeeaassseeee _do it," she begged.

He finally sighed in defeat, stomping over to the list of songs. Isshin perked up. "Oooh, oooh! I already checked that, son! I found the perfect one for both of us to do!"

Ichigo slowly turned to look at his father. "...I'm sorry...I could've sworn I just heard you say you want to sing a song _together_."

Peyton beamed innocently at Ichigo. "Why, _that _is a WONDERFUL idea!"

Ichigo shot her a dirty look before sighing at his father. "Which one?"

Matsumoto erupted into silent giggles, and Isshin grinned triumphantly. "This one!" He pointed at it with a lot more force than necessary, and the two "guards" by the door jumped at the sudden noise.

Ichigo read the title and flashed a half-smile. "Hmm. Weezer. This _might _work."

_**

* * *

**_

_**TEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Aaaannd welcome to American Idol!" The announcer...well, announced.

The rest of the gang had front-row seats, and Matsumoto grinned at Peyton. "Peyton, you're a genius. I swear, you have him wrapped around your tan little finger."

Peyton flushed. "Nah. He's just easy to convince sometimes."

Rukia snorted a laugh. "Ha! Ichigo, easy to convince. That was a good one!"

Peyton stuck her tongue out at her defiantly.

Isshin and Ichigo were on the stage, looking totally relaxed. Which made sense, considering there wasn't too big of a crowd in here.

But big enough.

"Our first contestants are Isshin and Ichigo Kurosaki, singing 'I Want You To', in the stylings of Weezer."

And with that, the music started, and they were singing.

* * *

_**A/N**_: Ichigo's lines are in **bold**, Isshin's are _italicized_, and the ones they sing together are like _**this**_!

* * *

"**The moon was shining, on a late goodnight. The Slayer t-shirt, fit the scene just right. Through smeared mascara, I looked into your eyes and saw a light." **

"_You told me stories, about your chickadees. They didn't like BB guns, or stupid archery. You charmed the lifeguard; he let them use the pool all day for free."_

"**Then the conversation stopped, and I looked down at my feet. I was next to you, and you were right there next to me, then I say: 'Girl, if you're wondering...If I want you to **_(I want you to)_** I want you to **_(I want you to)_**. So make a move **_(make a move)_**. 'Cause I ain't got all night!"**

"**The rest of the summer was the best we ever had." **

"_We watched Titanic, and it didn't make us sad!"_

"**I took you to Best Buy-"**

"_-You took me home to meet your mom and dad."_

"**Your mom cooked meatloaf, even though I don't eat meat. I dug you so much, I took some for the team."**

"_Your dad was silent, his eyes were fixed to what was on tv."_

"**Then the conversation stopped, and I looked down at the ring. Your folks were next to you, and you were right there next to me, then I say: 'Girl, if you're wondering...If I want you to **_(I want you to)_**, I want you to **_(I want you to)_**. I swear it's true, without you, my heart is blue. Oo-oo-whuh-oh-oh. **

"_Girl...If you're wondering, if I want you to _**(I want you to)**_, I want you to _**(I want you to)**_, so make a move. _**(Make a move).**_'Cause I ain't got all night!"_

By this time, everyone was totally into it. None of them had any idea they could sing so well!

For the next few verses, Ichigo looked _right _at Peyton, who was so caught up in it that she ignored Matsumoto's suggestive giggling.

"**Sooo much pain, may come our wa-a-ay...There may come a day when we have nothing left to saaay. When the conversation stops, and we're facing our defeat, I'll be next to you, and you'll be right there next to me. **

"**Then I'll say, 'Girl, if you're wondering...If I want you to **_(I want you to)_**, I want you to **_(I want you to)_**, I swear it's true. Without you, my heart is blue. Oo-oo-whuh-oh-oh. Girl, if you're wondering if I want you to **_(I want you to)_**, I want you to **_(I want you to)_**, so make a move. _'Cause I ain't got all night_!"**

"_**Whoo!" **_

Their groups' cheering was the loudest, for sure, but they got some pretty heavy applause from everyone else in the room as well.

The announcer guy even sounded impressed. "Isshin and Ichigo Kurosaki, everybody! Oh, and happy sweet sixteen, Peyton!"

Everyone clapped for Peyton, too, and she turned a little red.

Yuzu sighed happily. "What a lovely birthday present."

_**

* * *

**_

_**SEVEN ****HOURS LATER...**_

"What's got you two all excited? The food's probably not even here yet," Peyton commented as Karin and Yuzu practically dragged her from the bathroom, back to their car at the Sci-Fi Drive-In Theater.

It was this cool dining place at MGM, where they have a huge screen that plays crappy, old science-fiction movies.

They had cars as booths, flying saucers as tables, and the walls were painted like a Florida drive-in parking lot.

When they finally got back to their car, Peyton resisted the urge to groan. There was a heap of presents on the table.

* * *

Matsumoto pulled her into the booth beside her, situating Peyton inbetween her and Toshiro. Matsumoto had an evil smile on her face, and it matched Toshiro's almost perfectly.

"Open ours first. It took us _forever _to figure out!"

Peyton cautiously reached her hand into the bag, and pulled out a rather large envelope. She opened it slowly...and everyone but Toshiro and Matsumoto jumped at the sudden noise.

Hannah Montana was singing "I Got Nerve."

Toshiro gave her an innocent look. "My idea. We all know how much you _love _Hannah Montana," he said in a sweet and sarcastic tone.

At the look on Peyton's face, Ichigo and Rukia laughed their asses off.

Karin was just smirking, and Yuzu and Isshin were humming along. Which was a bit unsettling.

Peyton shook her head with a grin, setting the card down to play itself out, and reached back into the bag.

She then pulled out a tiara. And it wasn't a crappy plastic one, either; it was actual metal, with rhinestones and diamonds and such.

Matsumoto took it out of her hands and placed it firmly on her head, adjusting the combs on the side.

Ichigo and Rukia laughed even harder. Peyton just grinned at them. "...Thanks so much, you guys. I can play that card for Ichigo _all through _the plane trip home!"

Everyone started laughing at how quickly Ichigo's face fell.

Yuzu plucked a bag out of the stack before dropping it in her hands eagerly. "Here, mine next!"

* * *

Peyton unwrapped it, humming to "I Got Nerve" before stopping herself at Ichigo's snickering. She pulled out a pair of earrings with her birthstones on them, and she smiled at Yuzu. "Thanks, Yuzu! I needed a new pair!"

Karin calmly slid hers across the table. "I think you'll like the card the best," was all she said before breaking out into an expectant grin.

Peyton, now extremely curious, dug madly for the card in the bag, making Rukia laugh. "Spazz."

But Rukia's laughter trailed off as they both looked at the card. Peyton looked totally ecstatic and giddy; Rukia looked murderous.

It was a very colorful, creative, and graphic card. It had "Happy Sweet Sixteen" on the top in bright, different-styled letters.

The main picture was Peyton in a superhero costume. The initials were I.P.

Peyton glanced at Ichigo. "Invisible Peyton," he and Karin said together.

Anyway, Invisible Peyton was beating the crap out of Chappy in mid-air, yelling "Die Chappy Dieeee!!!"

Down below, citizens young and old were cheering Peyton on happily, with rosy cheeks and everything.

Peyton couldn't stop laughing for a good three minutes, and Rukia simply huffed. Toshiro shrugged, taking the card out of Peyton's hands, which were shaking in time with her laughter.

He looked at it, tilting his head to the side. He then nodded at Karin with a half-smile. "I think it shows promise."

Rukia glared at him, eyes narrowed. "Traitor. Chappy _will _get his revenge one day."

"Well, technically, nothing _happened _to him," Ichigo pointed out.

Rukia huffed, not wanting to admit he was right. Then her mood did a total about-face as she handed Peyton her gift. "Here ya go!" She chirped.

* * *

Everyone sweatdropped, and Peyton shrugged and unwrapped it. Inside was a mini-zen-garden, perfume, charm bracelet, and several pairs of earrings from Hot Topic.

Peyton grinned. "Niiccee, Rukia. _Very _nice." Rukia beamed. "I'm just that good."

Isshin slid one across the table as well, practically bouncing in his spot on the booth. Peyton eyed it. "Ah, Isshin, you didn't have to get me anything! Your song was awesome enough. Nice job you two, by the way."

Isshin waved her off. "It's the least I can do for putting up with my son! I'm hoping my grandchildren mainly inherit your traits," he added with a smile.

Peyton and Ichigo didn't even sweatdrop, used to this by now, and she reached inside the bag. She pulled out an Oscar, which was engraved, "Best Future Daughter-In-Law".

She reached even further into the bag, while everyone (Isshin included) started laughing at the light blush on her cheeks.

When she pulled the next item out, Rukia and Matsumoto "Oooh"'ed it. It was a ring with her birthstone set into it, with tiny P's engraved on the sides.

Peyton smiled gratefully at Isshin. "Wow, I don't know what to say. Thanks, Isshin!"

He beamed in response, nudging Yuzu. "Am I the best Future Father-In-Law, or what?"

"That you are," Peyton and Yuzu agreed at the same time.

That was it for the presents. Unless, of course, you count the hugest cake in history their waiter wheeled out (with help, of course).

Everyone, even Yuzu, eyed it greedily, and it didn't take long to devour the delicious cake.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****HOURS LATER...**_

After getting back to their rooms, Peyton waited until she could hear everybody's snores, then decided to walk off what was left of the damn cake. She STILL had a food baby, thanks to that.

She was also still wearing her crown, which Matsumoto insisted she should wear the rest of the vacation.

Peyton walked down to the "bayou", rolling up her PJ pants and bobbing her legs in the water from the short dock.

She sighed, looking out across the water, hoping there weren't any crocs swimming by at the moment.

It was still weird not having her mom here for her birthday, much less the rest of her family. But then again, the Kurosakis and the other Soul Reapers were kind of like her family now, too.

"Do you _always _stay up hours later than everyone else?"

Peyton jumped, and she was lucky she didn't fall off the damn dock. She glare at Ichigo as he sat down next to her, putting his own feet in the water.

"Do you _always _follow me around?"

"I didn't _follow _you, I was trying to walk off that damn cake. I can still feel it in my stomach," he said defensively.

Peyton laughed. "Me too."

He flashed a sneaky grin. "_Although_...the GPS I put in your necklace sure helps if I ever feel the need to find you."

* * *

Peyton's jaw dropped. "The WHAT?!"

Ichigo shrugged. "After the Hollows attacking you, and Bount-Boy trying to kidnap you, I figured it was a good idea. You know, just in case."

Peyton rolled her eyes. "Sure, that was your _only _reason."

"Yup."

"Uh-huh."

They were quiet for a minute. Peyton was about to say something, but Ichigo said what she was thinking. "I feel like Tom Sawyer right now, and I have absolutely no idea why.." He wondered out loud.

Peyton grinned. "I was _just _about to say that!"

"Really?"

"Word for word."

He let out a whistle. "Wow. Guess I underestimated my own psychic abilities."

Peyton scoffed. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Ichigo."

"....Hey, Peyton?"

"Yo."

"I kind of wanna try something."

Peyton waited, but he didn't finish his sentence. "...Go on," she prompted, winding her finger in a "Keep Going" motion.

Ichigo was a tiny bit red. Now this was getting interesting.

"Well, um....can I kiss you? For real?"

* * *

Peyton's pulse practically skyrocketed. "...Um...sure, I guess."

What a random thing to ask, she thought as they leaned a little closer. They were both obviously nervous, even though they had kissed, what, three times now?

And made out in a bathroom.

But this was different. Those times had been for dares, or them just being competitive. This was...a choice.

Just like it was a movie, a nearby clock chimed the hour right as his lips met hers.

* * *

Yeah, this was most definitely different.

His hand moved down the length of the back of her neck, then back up to her hair. She gripped the edge of his jacket.

Neither of them wanted to end it, but they had to breathe.

They pulled away, not looking at each other.

Eventually, Peyton leaned her head on his shoulder, as always.

"...Hey, Peyton."

"Hmm?" Was all she could say, not quite sure she remembered how to talk yet.

"...Happy birthday."

Peyton just grinned to herself.

She was pretty sure she knew which present she liked the most.


	22. Light Up the Sky

**Me: Sooo sorry for the long wait, i was sick!**

**Ichigo: You're still sick, dumbass. You even got a shot in the ass for it today!**

**Me: Okay, ONE, it was in the HIP, thank you very much! NOW who's the dumbass...**

**Still Me: And TWO...can we NOT talk about my ass?!**

**Rukia: Pervert. I TOLD you not to watch when they gave her that shot!!**

**Me: (laughs nervously after noticing Rukia's homicidal tone) Really, it's no big deal, Rukia!! (Sneaky grin) I doubt he cared, he's too busy crushing on Peeeyyyttoonnn!!**

**Ichigo: I swear, by the end of this fiction, i WILL fucking kill you.**

**Rukia: Whatever. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Helloooo! You alive?"

Peyton blinked and saw Rukia waving a hand in front of her face. She yawned and stretched, causing Rukia to jump ever-so-gracefully out of the way of Peyton's hands before she got face-palmed.

Again.

Rukia eyed her suspiciously, perched on her own bed. "I woke up before you. Either the world is ending, or something happened last night."

"Then the world must be ending," Peyton said quickly.

Rukia's jaw dropped and she pointed at her, making Peyton jump. "You're _blushing_?!"

Peyton made a little "Eep!" noise and jumped up, heading for the bathroom.

"I call dibs on the shower!" She called out behind her.

"Dammit Peyton!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****HOURS LATER...**_

"When are we going to France? I need some wine," Matsumoto commented cheerfully. She was the first one to comment since they arrived in Epcot, two minutes ago.

They all heard Peyton sigh from behind them, and turned to look. They sweatdropped. Rukia was flitting back and forth around her, asking her about ninety questions a minute.

Peyton glanced up at them and held up a hand. "Wine sounds pretty freaking good right now," she agreed, glaring at Rukia.

Matsumoto giggled, and Rukia whispered something in Peyton's ear. Whatever it was, it made her turn about eight shades redder.

"STOP COMING UP WITH PERVERTED SCENARIOS!!!"

Ichigo sweatdropped. Something told him Rukia had heard about last night...

* * *

"Epcot's divided into two parts; Future Land and World Showcase," Peyton explained, entering Tour Guide Mode.

"Future Land's about...well, the future. World Showcase is modeled after eleven different countries, like France and Germany which, thank God, have wine and beer," she explained, saying the last part quietly so Isshin wouldn't hear.

But Karin and Yuzu sure did, judging by the eager looks on their faces.

Before they could even ask, Ichigo simply looked at them both and said, "NO."

"But _Ichigooooo_!!"

"You two are scary enough as it is without adding _alcohol _into the mix!!"

"B-But kids at school say it's _sooo _good!"

"NO."

Rukia sweatdropped and nudged Matsumoto. "I can't wait to see what he's like when _he _has kids."

While Ichigo was continuing to argue with his sisters, they all looked at each other, then shuddered at the thought.

Suddenly, Ichigo yelled "HOLY CRAP!!"

Everyone jumped into fighting stance. "WHAT?!"

He pointed at the signature landmark of Epcot. "IT'S A GIANT GOLF BALL!!"

Passersby stopped to watch as several things happened:

One, all the Soul Reapers glared at him for getting them all ready to kick ass for no good reason. Two, they all looked at Peyton, who just cracked her knuckles and said, "I got this." Three, Peyton marched over to Ichigo and smacked him upside the head, causing an echoing _**THWACK **_sound that could be heard within fifty feet of them.

"Dammit, what was _that_, Peyton?!"

She wiped her hands together in a "Job Well Done" sort of way. "Ichigo, you've just been Gibbs-Slapped."

* * *

They hit Future Land first, and of course they all wanted to ride Mission: SPACE, a simulator ride.

Oh, what an unforgettable time THAT was.

The team could only consist of four members, so they split up as follows; Ichigo, Peyton, Rukia, Karin.

And Yuzu, Toshiro, Matsumoto, and some random guy since Isshin decided to sit this one out.

He was the lucky one.

They had a choice of two teams; orange team or green team. The orange teams had more intense missions, so of course they all immediately picked orange.

Each group had a pilot, engineer, navigator, and commander.

Rukia, the pilot, made them almost crash. Ichigo, the navigator, got them lost. Karin, the engineer, had the only good job, because she was a whiz at engineering. And Peyton, the commander, was almost hoarse after instructing, yelling, and such.

Needless to say, they very nearly died on their mission to Mars.

From what they gathered as they walked around, the other team didn't have much better luck.

Random Guy, the pilot, was flirting with Matsumoto the whole time and almost made them fly into random meteors. Matsumoto, the navigator, and Toshiro, the engineer, then had a fight about Matsumoto flirting back with Random Guy. Yuzu, the commander, tried her best to keep the peace and keep them from crashing.

So Matsumoto was convinced Toshiro was sick or something due to his overreaction, Peyton had to drink about three bottles of water to get her voice back, and Isshin laughed his ass off for about ten minutes straight.

* * *

Everyone simmered down as they walked through the countries, starting with Mexico.

Matsumoto and Isshin bonding over margaritas, resulting in their participation in a Mexican Hat Dance? Priceless.

Toshiro and Peyton both kept exchanging looks with each other that read, very clearly, "_God _I wish I was old enough for some margaritas!!"

Ichigo had snuck one when the girl behind the counter wasn't looking, and Rukia was saving her alcohol craving for Germany. She was more of a frothy beer person.

Who knew, right?

In Norway, they rode the Maelstrom ride, which scarred Ichigo and Toshiro for life.

Soul Reapers on a dark ride about very evil-looking trolls disguised as trees and such? Enough said.

After that was China, in which they all got freaked out due to the newly added Kim Possible attraction.

Apparently, the participants traveled around the World Showcase and found interactive clues that helped them defeat KP's villains.

They were in a store, and Peyton and Ichigo were arguing, as always...

* * *

"She pulled it out of me! She's like a conversational _wizard_!" Peyton said defensively.

"Well, what did you _say_, exactly? She won't stop giving me perverted looks," he said quickly, glancing around to make sure Rukia was currently occupied.

Peyton fiddled with a random key chain on a shelf. "Well, you know, nothing really..."

_FLASHBACK:_

"_You two did WHAT?!" Rukia screeched. _

"_Oh, come ON Rukia! That's only, like, the fourth time it's happened! Why is it so different?!" Peyton said defensively._

_She eyed her suspiciously. "Was it a dare? Or a competition?"_

"_Well...no..."_

"_What a pervert!!"_

_Peyton's jaw dropped. She was blaming Ichigo? Really? She was off the hook? _

_Her shocked expression slowly turned into an evil grin, and she let Rukia rant on the pervertedness of Ichigo Kurosaki._

_END FLASHBACK_

She bit her lip to keep from laughing.

"Yeah, nothing much!"

Ichigo eyed her suspiciously. "...Right...like I'm gonna believe that!!"

"Really, I didn't!"

Which was the truth. She had merely said they kissed and stuff; Rukia jumped to her own conclusions, most likely due to the "and stuff" part.

Not HER fault!

...Much.

Ichigo just sighed and shook his head. "_Sure _you didn't."

Peyton decided he had asked _her _plenty of awkward questions, so now was a good time to get even.

"Hey Ichigo?"

"What."

"Why'd you do that, anyway?"

"D-Do what?" He said innocently.

Peyton looked up to give him a sarcastic look, and that's when she had seen it. It was a random, blue, robotic baby rising from the top of the rotating shelf they were currently standing by.

She jumped with a yell. "EVIL BABY!!!"

Ichigo looked up and yelled too, and he was about to go all Soul Reaper on it when they heard two little kids giggling.

They slowly turned to look at them; they had bulky cell phones in their hands, which they pointed at the baby.

The baby continued its robotic crying, then suddenly burped, its red eyes turning gold. It then quietly slipped back down into the top.

Ichigo and Peyton stared at the spot it had been in, jaws on the floor, fresh sweatdrops on their heads.

"Did I just _imagine _that?!"

"I saw it too!"

"It was a Bitty Baby!" The little girl informed them. They jumped again and turned back to the two kids.

The boy held up a hand. "_Duh_!"

With that, they laughed at the idiotic teens and went to catch up with their mom.

Ichigo and Peyton looked at each other, sweatdropping again.

"Let's never speak of this again."

"Agreed."

* * *

Germany was next, in which everyone but Karin, Yuzu, Peyton, and Toshiro got beers.

This caused them both to start plotting against Ichigo, and resolved to steal his wine when he would inevitably score some in France.

In Italy, they all got gelato for their lunch, and Peyton got the shit scared out of her by a living statue.

And in the United States, Peyton's well-known clumsiness came back.

She had gone to the bathroom, and everyone else said they'd be in the giftshop. Apparently, she wasn't the only one who forgot to get Christmas presents.

When she was finished, she realized she looked kind of pretty with the tiara.

Due to the combs, it made her hair flow down in a way that framed her face almost perfectly. Maybe it wasn't such a bad present after all...

Peyton was later standing at the entrance to the giftshop, looking at an old fashioned collectible-coin maker machine to her left.

Suddenly, she heard Matsumoto call her name from near the restroom. "PEYTON!"

She jumped and craned her head to look, and somehow slipped rather comically over the slick marble floor.

Dazed, she laid there for a second before getting up. She didn't even know how it happened, really.

When she looked over, the whole group were holding their stomachs from laughing so hard.

Limping, she waved off the boy that came to help her. "I'm fine, really."

_Wait, he's kind of cute.._

He grinned cockily. "Well, in that case, can I at least have your number?"

Peyton shrugged and pulled her trusty Sharpie out of her pocket. "Sure. I mean, if I must..."

She wrote it down on his hand and gave him a half-wave bye, limping slightly as she caught up with the others.

"It was so funny!! One minute you were there, and then the next minute you were _gone_, since that wood thingie was in the way!" Matsumoto said between laughs.

"It was a gravity surge, that's all!!" Peyton said defensively. That just made everyone laugh harder.

She then shrugged. "Oh well. I got help from a hot guy because of it, I'M not complaining.."

_**

* * *

**_

_**AN ****HOUR LATER...**_

"Ready?"

"I've been ready since he drank that margarita extra slow _just _to piss me off," Toshiro muttered darkly.

They exchanged impish grins, and sprang into action.

Toshiro tackled Ichigo from behind, and Peyton stole the wine bottle before Ichigo hit the ground.

They both yelled triumphantly as Peyton popped the cork, offering Toshiro the first swig.

They grinned at Ichigo. "Thanks _so much _for getting us a beverage," Peyton said sweetly before taking a sip.

It wasn't the best thing she had ever tasted, but it was alright.

Better than the hot water she had been drinking all day.

Ichigo glared at them. "Of course you know, this means _war_."

"Oh, we know."

"Good to know you know."

"I know, right? _Very_ good to know you think it's good to know that we know. You know?"

Ichigo sighed in defeat, not able to top that, and stomped to catch up with the others, who were currently getting autographs from Belle and Beast.

"I want that damn wine back by the end of the night!!" He threw over his shoulder.

They exchanged a grin and said in unison, "Not likely, Ichigo."

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****HOURS LATER...**_

Every night, Epcot had the IllumiNations firework show. Peyton knew just where to sit; on the bridge between France and the United Kingdom.

They were waiting for the show to start. Everyone but Peyton and Ichigo had gone to get snacks and drinks, and to get their bladders taken care of before the show.

They were in the middle of arguing over what Spam really was when Peyton saw a woman that caught her eye.

Well, not like that. But she stood out from the rest of the crowd.

Peyton started laughing, and Ichigo looked at her like he was seriously questioning her sanity.

"What's so funny?"

Peyton pointed to the woman. "You see that lady right there?" "..Yeah. She's hot, what about her?"

Peyton sweatdropped. "Not what I was thinking of, but okay. She looks _just _like my mom. Acts like she did, too," she added as the woman laughed and slung her arms around her two friends' shoulders.

"If she were still alive, what would you guys be doing right now?"

Peyton looked up at the sky in thought. "Hmm..Probably celebrating my birthday, actually."

"But your birthday was yesterday," He stated as if she didn't know that.

"She always celebrated it the next day. 'Cause of her job, she always had to work late on my actual birthday," she explained thoughtfully.

_I miss that.._

The crowd, Ichigo and Peyton included, gasped. Right at that moment, a bright shooting star streaked across the sky before swooping down out of sight.

Peyton laughed shakily. "Tell me I didn't just imagine that."

"You didn't just imagine that. That was one huge-ass star," Ichigo commented thoughtfully.

She blinked quickly as she felt a few tears building up. "You wanna know about something weird?"

"You mean besides you?"

"Yes, besides me."

"Okay."

"After mom died, whenever me or anyone else in the family was having a hard time or something, we'd see a falling star. Every time. But I've never seen one that big.."

Ichigo looked at her. "You know what I think?"

"You _think_?"

"I'm serious. I think that was your mom's birthday present to you."

Peyton grinned. "Maybe so. Maybe so.."

He squeezed her shoulder. "You alright?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, fine."

The firework show was good, but it was nothing compared to that star.

* * *

**Rukia: Wow, that was cool!**

**Me: Yeah, I know right? That actually happened on my birthday, but it was my granddad instead of Peyton's mom.**

**Rukia: That's so sweet...!**

**Ichigo: Yeah, yeah, sure. Peyton flipping and hurting her ankle was the funniest damn thing I've seen in a while, though..**

**Me: (droops) Yeah, that happened to me, too...only I sprained it..**

**Rukia: (excited) Did ya get the hot dude's number?**

**Me: (miserable tone) No... (cheers up) He got mine!**

**Ichigo: Someone wanted your number? YOURS?! **

**Me: (looking very menacing and lethal) You sound shocked.**

**Ichigo: (Totally clueless) I am! YOU got hit on in Disney World? And the guy wasn't retarded or ugly? You're sure?!**

**Rukia: (backing away slowly. in the distance the audience hears battle sounds and yelling) Uhh....REVIEW!!**


	23. In My Head

**Me: (arm in sling, from previous battle against Ichigo) I'm proud to announce that i won our Epic Battle of the Ages the other day! I am ALSO proud of this chapter. Sadly, i didnt get to go to the water parks (yet), so i researched it on the Disney Website. I think i did a pretty good job!**

**Ichigo: (band-aids are seen on his forehead, arms, and by his neck. We also see cat-like scratch marks down his neck, and he has a black eye) I think I should steal this and burn it, so no one has to read this crap!!**

**Rukia: (Sneaky smile) You are SO embarrassed right now..**

**Ichigo: The hell i am!!**

**Me: Damn, Ichigo. I mean, if i got caught doing THAT, i would be too!**

**Ichigo: Will you shut the hell up?! i dont wanna talk about it!**

**Rukia: (Evil laugh) Yeah, Mandy. Let them read all about it themselves!**

**Me: Wow. That's evil, Rukia. I'm impressed!**

* * *

The next morning, Rukia and Peyton both got up exceptionally early. Why, you ask?

Well, they were going to Blizzard Beach today, one of Disney's two famous waterparks. This implied showering, taking even more time to shave than usual, and trying to pull off their bathing suits to the best of their ability.

Well, all that, plus Ichigo had woken up everyone within hearing distance that morning by yelling, "HOW ARE WE RELATED?! YOU'RE SO PERVERTED!!"

To which Isshin yelled back, "ME?! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO KEPT TALKING ABOUT MY FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW IN YOUR SLEEP, SON!!!"

"DID NOT!!"

"DID TOO!"

"PROVE IT!!"

"I CAN!! I RECORDED IT!!"

"WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT?!"

"TO SHOW HER AND YOUR SISTERS!!"

"You....YOU'RE FRICKING EVIL!!!"

Rukia had already fallen off her bed from laughing so hard, and Peyton finally pounded on the wall so hard that she almost made a hole.

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!!!"

"SORRY, PEYTON DEAR!" Isshin called out sweetly.

"Awwww, it's okay, Isshin!" She said brightly.

"YOU SUCK, PEYTON!!"

"You said something like that in your sleep, by the way," Isshin said quietly, though the walls were way too thin. "I predict, with her consent, my grandchildren will arrive right on schedule. At _least _before I retire!"

Peyton turned so red that Rukia thought it might be an allergic reaction to something, but Peyton simply shook her head and went to take a shower.

"Rukia, don't say a _word_," she said dangerously as she passed by.

Rukia just nodded, waiting until Peyton was in the shower before giggling uncontrollably and unpacking her swimsuit.

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

"Please?"

"No."

"C'mon, now Rukia made me all curious by pointing it out," Ichigo whined.

Peyton's temple throbbed. "NO. You can see it later."

"_Ugh_!"

Peyton shushed him and glanced around. "We're on a BUS, Ichigo. I'm not gonna take off my t-shirt just because you wanna see my bathing suit."

She kind of understood why it was killing him, though. Rukia only had a sarong thingie on, so he could see hers from the very start.

It was really cute; royal blue two-piece with little mickeys on them. It suited Rukia, making her best features even better. If only _Renji _were here to see it.

Matsumoto, of course, didn't even bother covering herself in any way. Honestly, _Peyton _was nice enough to cover herself so she wouldn't make any older women jealous, gain a new stalker, or give guys her age or younger any ideas.

Matsumoto's was pink with lighter pink diagonal stripes. The top half was only large enough to cover her boobs (at least half of each), and the bottom half was connected front-to-back by flimsy-looking (yet, knowing Matsumoto, sturdy) ties.

Toshiro was making a huge effort not to look anywhere but her face whenever Matsumoto talked to him.

Peyton, apparently, was the only one with the slightest modesty. Great.

The bus jerked, and she lost her grip on the pole. Luckily, Ichigo grabbed her before she slid into the cheerleading group to her right.

She would've thanked him, but instead just glared at him. He had grabbed her by her shirt, and was now trying to secretively lift it by the bottom hem to sneak a look.

She swatted his hand away, much to his dislike. "God DAMMIT, Peyton!!"

* * *

Peyton looked him up and down, and he smirked. "Jeez, Peyton. I don't think you've ever checked me out _that _openly."

"I haven't checked you out EVER," she snapped.

Okay, that was a lie. But _he _didn't need to know that.

Peyton then pointed at him accusingly. "YOU'RE wearing a t-shirt, too! Idiot!"

"Well, this isn't ABOUT me, is it?!"

"It is _now_!"

The bus driver announced their arrival, and the passengers near Peyton and Ichigo sighed with relief, a few with disappointment.

"I _seriously _thought she was about to take it off, though," one guy was whining to his friend, who nodded sadly.

Peyton sweatdropped. "See what you've done, Ichigo?!"

She stomped off the bus with Rukia, and Matsumoto giggled beside Ichigo. He just sighed and sweatdropped. "It's always _my _fault, isn't it?"

"Maybe you should just think back to your dream last night if you want to see her out of that t-shirt so bad," Matsumoto said with a wink.

She then ran off the bus before Ichigo could attack her.

_**

* * *

**_

_**TWO ****HOURS LATER...**_

Toshiro and Peyton sighed loudly for about the fiftieth time, and Matsumoto and Ichigo both finally yelled, "SHUT THE HELL UP!!"

Peyton glared at him. "Hey, _you _were sighing five minutes ago." Then she grinned happily as the line moved, and she inched up one step. "Yay!"

"Yes, whoo-hoo! One whole step!" Ichigo said dully, mocking her voice.

They were in line for Summit Plummit, the awesomest ride in either water parks.

Seeing as they still had a long way to go, and Peyton didn't want to be stuck beside a moody Ichigo in line for a good half-hour, she sighed miserably. "Alright, fine. I'll take my shirt off."

Totally misunderstanding since he hadn't heard their conversation on the ride here, Toshiro's jaw dropped. Ichigo pumped his fist. "Hell yeah!"

"Peyton, I didn't know you guys had already...you know, scr-"

"Toshiro, I have a bikini on. He just wants to see it, because he has no life and knows that's as far as he's getting with me. EVER," Peyton informed him.

Ichigo sweatdropped. "Jeez, you make me out to be some kind of creeper."

Everyone waiting in line within a twenty-feet radius turned to give him a "Duh" look, and he turned a little red. "WHO ASKED YOU PEOPLE?!" He snapped, and they went back about their business.

* * *

Peyton laughed at him, and Matsumoto squeezed onto the same step as Toshiro, who instantly turned the slightest bit red at their close-proximity-level in her flimsy outfit.

"Ooooh, I wanna see it too!"

Peyton rolled her eyes and grabbed the bottom of her shirt, slipping it off.

Matsumoto clapped happily, and Toshiro snickered at the look on Ichigo's face. It really wasn't anything too skimpy, really. Just a sky blue two-piece halter with random baby watermelons as a pattern, placed all over the swimsuit.

Peyton shrugged. "There. Whaddaya think?"

"I _love _it!" Matsumoto exclaimed. Rukia pointed a thumb at herself. "_I _picked it out for her," she announced proudly.

Ichigo cleared his throat awkwardly. "It's, uh...cool," he commented, averting her eyes. Peyton tried her best not to laugh.

"...Uh, thank you Ichigo?"

Toshiro, a kid all over again, chuckled and pointed at her chest. "Ha! Look, a couple of the watermelons look like they're walking on your boobs!"

Everyone sweatdropped at this random comment, the LAST thing anyone expected him to say.

* * *

Ichigo swatted his hand away, and the girls started laughing as the two guys started arguing.

"Toshiro, I mean this in _the _most respectable way possible....HAVE YOU LOST YOUR GODDAMN MIND?!"

"_What_, Ichigo? I was merely making an amusing observation."

"Oh, NOW you're all intelligent and...Toshiro-y!!"

"...Toshiro-y? What is that?"

"YOU, DUMBASS!! At least, the way you _usually _are!! That was _soooo _OOC!"

"OOC? What's that?"

"It means Out Of Character. My friend taught it to me.." He said mysteriously.

Toshiro sweatdropped. "Ichigo...are you and Peyton going out yet?"

"N-NO!! GOD!!"

"Then why are you so defensive over her all of a sudden?"

"Because...Well, _dude_, you just pointed at her _boobs_!! It's _perverted_!!"

"Maybe you should stop thinking such perverted thoughts. It _can't_ be good for you," Toshiro advised wisely.

That ended the conversation, but their friends' giggles continued for a good fifteen minutes afterward.

* * *

Peyton was bouncing on the balls of her feet excitedly. "Ichigo, look! I can see the slide part!"

"I know, genius. I'm right beside you."

Matsumoto and Rukia exchanged a sly look. "Hey, Ichigo. Why don't you take _your _shirt off now? I mean, you're almost up there.." Rukia commented slyly.

Peyton rolled her eyes. Rukia and Matsumoto had insisted once she saw him shirtless, she wouldn't contain her drooling. Apparently, his abs were "legendary"; unless, of course, compared to Toshiro.

Due to being a Captain, Toshiro had a better workout schedule, apparently.

"Yeah...Actually, she's right!" Peyton said suddenly.

Ichigo sweatdropped. "You want to see me shirtless? YOU?!"

She rolled her eyes again. "It's only fair! I took my top off for you, you should do the same!"

He sighed extra loudly and started to slip off his shirt. "Whatever. Just try not to go ga-ga over me," he said with a smirk.

"Now why would I..." Peyton trailed off.

Ho.

Ly.

Shit.

She had NO IDEA what he had been hiding under there. He wasn't exactly RIPPED, but..._damn_!

"...W-Why would I do _that_?! Psh! It's not _that _impressive," she said quickly, focusing on the now-even-closer slide.

Ichigo and Toshiro exchanged a smirk that only guys could make. "...Peyton, what's so interesting up there?"

"Uh, the _ride_, Ichigo. DUH!"

"More interesting than my bod?"

"Definitely."

Rukia made a weird noise with her tongue. "I'm impressed she can last this long," she muttered. Toshiro and Matsumoto made noises of agreement.

"Just watch, she'll crack. She has no choice. She won't be able to resist," Matsumoto said in a sultry matter-of-fact voice.

Peyton folded her arms and tapped her foot, huffing moodily.

"You _know _you want me," Ichigo said in a suggestive voice right by her ear, making her jump rather violently with a yelp.

Everyone laughed, and she smacked Ichigo upside the head moodily. "You _idiot_."

The Disney worker eyed her and Ichigo warily. "Who's next?"

Both of them jumped up onto the platform, raised a hand, and yelled excitedly, "ME!!"

"No, ME!"

"No, ME!"

"Dream on, Ichigo!"

"No, YOU dream on!"

"Actually, maybe that's best. I mean, after the dream _Isshin _mentioned this morning and all.."

"SHUT UP!! IT WASN'T WHAT IT SOUNDED LIKE!!"

"Well then what WAS it about?!"

"...I don't wanna tell you."

"Whatever. I'll ask later, AFTER I go first!!"

"NOOO, I'M going first!"

"I am!"

"I AM!!"

Finally, Rukia let out an impatient, vicious growl. "SOMEONE GO DOWN THE FRICKING SLIDE, DAMMIT!!"

She shoved them both, making Peyton land almost right in Ichigo's lap as they sped down the water slide.

"OHHHHH SHIIIIIITTTTT!!!!!" They screamed as they sped down the summit.

Everyone sweatdropped, and Rukia held up a finger, laughing nervously.

Toshiro spoke first. "...Rukia? Maybe you _shouldn't _have shoved two people onto a water slide that happens to be 120 feet tall and causes them to go at speeds of up to 60 miles per hour down a twelve-story drop."

Rukia nodded slowly, then blinked innocently at the Disney worker, who was sweatdropping. "..So. When is it my turn to go down?"

Everyone glared at her, and she whined. "PLEASE don't arrest me! Their murders weren't intentional!!"

* * *

The surging water underneath them slid Peyton off of Ichigo, which was fine at first, and they continued screaming. But then she scrambled back on top of him, clinging to his neck for dear life.

"What the hell, Peyton!!"

"It's either _this_, or my bikini bottom beats us to the finish line!" She snapped. He sighed, and slid his arm underneath the back of her knees to support her a little. "Fine. I'd rather _not _see that."

She beamed. "Thanks!"

"No problem."

"...Ichigo?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm gonna go back to spazzing now, since we're surely heading for certain death. Care to join me?"

"Absolutely."

They nodded, looked at each other, and screamed bloody murder. "AAAAHHHHH!!!!"

* * *

They finally saw the bottom, and shot into the pool. When they resurfaced, coughing and sputtering, people still in line and those who had seen their accident from the ground started clapping and cheering.

Peyton and Ichigo were laughing uncontrollably, amazed they were still alive, and swam out of the way of Summit Plummit.

Adrenaline rush over, Peyton wrapped her arms around his neck, sighing tiredly. "Okay, you know what? _You _do the swimming!"

"Would you get the hell _off _me?!"

"Why?"

"'Cause I said so!"

"Oh. Well, since when do I listen to a _word _you say? Jeez, Ichigo, you never learn," she said with a smirk.

He rolled his eyes, and she eyed him slyly. "Oh please, you and I both know you don't mind."

He sighed and shook his head, but swam anyway. "Damn crazy woman."

Peyton grinned. "Aww, you called me woman? You noticed!"

"Would you shut the hell up?! It was meant as an insult!"

"It didn't _sound _like one," she replied in a sing-song voice. He ignored her, as usual.

They drifted lazily for a few minutes, and then Peyton said something extremely random. "Ichigo, can I tell you something _really _weird?"

"I'm sure you've said weirder to me already, so go for it."

"I've always wondered if it's different kissing someone in the water instead of dry and on land," she blurted out.

* * *

Ichigo stared at her, and they both sweatdropped. "Sorry...it just kind of slipped out...I thought I was gonna say something else..." She said thoughtfully, turning red.

"You know what's even weirder?"

"What?"

He grinned slightly. "So have I..."

They both started laughing, then stared at each other. A slow grin spread onto his face. "I know that look. You wanna try it, _don't _you!"

"N-No!"

"Yes you do!!"

Peyton sighed exasperatedly. "Okay, maybe a little! But don't let it get to your head, it's only because this might be my only chance, that's ALL."

Ichigo nodded thoughtfully. "I think you're right. I highly doubt something this random could ever happen to me ever again.."

"...So...that means YOU wanna try it, too!" She accused.

Surprisingly, he nodded. "Sure do. Very much so."

Needless to say, Peyton was momentarily stunned speechless. "...Oh. Damn, NOW who's OOC," she commented.

* * *

"Peyton?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm about to lose interest," he warned.

"Okay, fine! You first."

"No, you!"

"No, you! Wait, let's not do this again. I don't want to worry about my bottoms falling off again," she said with a nervous laugh.

Ichigo gave her a suggestive smirk. "I could comment on that, but I'm too hellbent on doing this weird kissing experiment right now."

"Well then, go for it."

Peyton realized she was against the wall of the pool, towards the side of Summit Plummit. Ichigo braced his arm against it, to her right, and steadied her by placing his other hand on her shoulder.

And they tried it.

It really was different; it felt more..._spontaneous_. Which in turn made it a very, _very _good kiss. And another kiss. And another. And then another.

They pulled away for air, and Peyton swallowed nervously. "That was, um.."

"_Very _different," Ichigo finished thoughtfully.

She nodded. "Yeah...."

"Wanna do it again?"

"You bet your ass I do."

He laughed, and they tried it again. And again. And again. And again. The water was really hot in Florida.

"I swear to God, I saw tongue, I _know _it!" Rukia commented out of nowhere.

* * *

They both jumped, bonking heads, and glared at Rukia.

"Rukiaaa!!!"

Matsumoto, Karin, and Toshiro snickered. "You two must be the best of friends," Toshiro commented.

Matsumoto clapped.

Karin simply said, "Wait till Yuzu hears about THIS."

Peyton ducked out from under Ichigo's arm, swimming for the stairs. "I'm just gonna...go use the facilities...or something," she muttered.

Ichigo sighed as she left. "Dammit Rukia!!"

**Me: Wow. I agree with Toshiro. You two know each other very well by now, i think. Especially each other's mouths...**

**Ichigo: You...are SO damn perverted!!**

**Rukia: (Still shaking her head in disbelief) I still can't believe i saw that. it was so gross! I never saw you two...ACTUALLY make out before...**

**Ichigo: You wanna talk gross?! What about you and Renji in the parking lot after school, by that bush?!**

**Rukia: (Gasps, looking mortified) Y-Y-You saw that?!**

**Ichigo: (Happy) You bet your busted little ass i do! See, you're just as slutty as i am!**

**Rukia: It was ONE TIME!! IT'LL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!!**

**Me: (Sweatdrops) Are we seriously having this conversation? I'm sure the readers' retinas are burning by now with all these mental images. Oh, and by the way..I'M the one who taught you OOC!**

**Ichigo: ...And?**

**Me: Just thought I'd throw that out there.**

**Rukia: I still can't believe you made out with her. In our bathroom. And a pool. CHILDREN WERE PRESENT BOTH TIMES, TOO!!**

**Ichigo: (Laughs nervously) Rukia, we weren't making out! We were...uh, experimenting! It was for the good of...science!**

**Me and Rukia, Together: You HATE science!**

**Ichigo: It depends on who's teaching it...**

**Me: Dumbass. Though, Rukia, i have to agree. It wasn't _really _making out. Tongue or not, all they did was kiss. Making out involves a little more..Wait, WHY am i DOING this?!**

**Ichigo and Rukia: Cause you're a perv, just like us!**

**Me: ....Readers, I am SO sorry you had to read this extremely perverted chapter and after-chapter discussion! Review!**


	24. Fallen

**Me: Well, this one's not really that perverted!**

**Rukia: In fact, it's kind of-**

**Ichigo: A piece of pure sappy crap?**

**Me and Rukia: (Dangerous voices) ...BITTERSWEET.**

**Ichigo: (moody) Whatever. Screw you two chicks, it sucks!**

**Lyrics of the Chapter: "And I'll chase, you into the dark. Such grace, has never been this ha-a-ard. I've never fallen, never fallen faster..." **

**-------it's from "Fallen", By Death in the Park, Featuring Hayley Williams of Paramore. it's really good i think, you should check it out! it's stuck in my head, haha-**

**Rukia: ON WITH THE GODDAMNED CHAPTER, MANDY!!**

**Me: ...Well, SORRY!!**

**Ichigo: (all innocent-like) We forgive you.**

* * *

Peyton was lucky she got out of there when she did. If she had stayed any longer, who knows what she would have done?

She couldn't explain it, but something weird had come over her during their "experiment". It was like a tingly feeling, right near the middle of her gut. Like when a roller coaster suddenly plunged down.

She decided this could mean two things: either she was about to throw up, or something was changing between her and Ichigo.

Both options sucked. Honestly, what could she do about either one of them?!

She decided the best current course of action was to head for the restrooms just in case it was the first one. God, Peyton hoped it was the first one...

* * *

"You...are _such_ a pervert," Rukia muttered, hands planted on her hips, which were currently underwater.

Ichigo's temple throbbed. "How come I'm always the ONLY ONE you blame for MUTUAL PERVERTED ACTIVITIES?!"

Toshiro and Matsumoto snickered. "I think I'm gonna go hunt down Peyton. I need her opinion on something," Matsumoto commented mysteriously.

Rukia forgot about her anger towards Ichigo, now totally curious due to Matsumoto's tone. "Lemme come, too!" She shouted, wading as fast as possible after the fellow Soul Reaper.

Ichigo sweatdropped, sighed, and shook his head. "Damn midget."

"Ichigo, you have a serious problem."

* * *

He had forgotten Toshiro was there, and jumped rather hard with a ninja yell. Toshiro sweatdropped, then shook his head slowly. "Well, other than your obvious _mental_ ones."

Ichigo glared at him before hopping up to sit on the side of the pool. "Whaddaya mean by 'serious problem'?"

Toshiro hopped up as well. "Well, hmm, let me think. Perhaps the fact that you have feelings for Peyton?"

"How is that a problem? Just because I'm a smart-ass, doesn't mean I have no feelings. I have feelings for all my friends, thank you very much," he stalled.

Toshiro just stared at him. "...Not _those_ kinds of feelings, and you know it."

Ichigo laughed anxiously, not liking where this was going. He liked to avoid this subject at all cost, for _obvious_ perverted reasons.

"What makes you think I have FEELINGS feelings for that Annoying Midget?"

"Well, lemme put it this way. Do you make out on several occasions with _all_ your female friends?"

Ichigo turned red. "Well...._no_.."

"I rest my case. Just face facts; you have romantic interest in Peyton."

Ichigo groaned. "God, will you stop talking like that?! It sounds so...FINAL."

"Final? I'm not sure I get your meaning."

"Well, if I _did_ like Peyton that way, which I DON'T...I wouldn't be able to NOT feel that way after I realize I feel the way in which I feel for...wait, I just confused myself..."

"You're saying once you stop staying in denial, you've reached the point of no return?" Toshiro offered.

Ichigo pointed at him enthusiastically. "Yes, that's the one!"

"So you admit you know you have these feelings, but are in denial about them."

"What?! I never said all that!!"

"You did."

"Did not!"

"I'm sorry, but you did, I _swear_ I heard you say it."

"NO I DIDN'T!!!"

"So you can confidently say you have no romantic interest in Peyton Cullen?"

"Yup."

"Then shout it out."

"But what if she hears me?!"

"Why should _that _matter?"

Ichigo huffed. "_Fine_....Okay, I'm not gonna say it."

"Because you can't _bring_ yourself to say it."

"NOOOO, because I don't want her beating the crap out of me for it later. Plus, my _dad _might hear, and then he'll get all _emotional_, and I'll end up in a worse position than _before_."

They glared at each other for a long time, and finally, Toshiro sighed, getting up. "Alright. Whatever you say. But do you want MY advice?"

"Not really."

"I think if you have any feelings to get out, you should act on them. I really don't think she would mind. ...Or, if you're too cowardly to do that, get them out on paper or something, and burn it afterward. I've done that tons of times," he said mysteriously before strolling away casually.

Ichigo sweatdropped, swinging his feet through the water. "....Wow."

* * *

Peyton sighed, brushing the wet strands of hair away from her face as she stared down the Ole Porcelain Crapper.

_Either you like the guy, or you don't. That simple. Except, of course you know, admitting you like him is like admitting defeat, because there's no way in hell you could ever tell him that. EVER._

"Peyton? You in here?"

Peyton poked her head out, already deciding that it was pointless to wait to throw up any longer.

Matsumoto and Rukia were there, looking very curious.

Peyton sweatdropped. "...Oh. Hi."

"_Soo_. Peyton. I need some of your _advice_," Matsumoto said slyly.

"...Okay..."

"I have this _friend_ of mine, ..._Annie_. She's been friends with this guy for a while, and it seems pretty obvious to everyone else that they like each other. You know, LIKE each other. They're practically dating already. But they're both too stubborn to make an official move. What do you think Annie should do?"

Peyton laughed. "_That's_ easy. Ask him out. Worse case scenario, he rejects her, but he'll forget about it anyway, so what does she have to lose? Jeez, Matsumoto, I can't believe _you _didn't think about that."

Rukia nodded, looking her right in the eye. "Exactly what I was thinking. What does _Annie_ have to _lose_?"

And with that, they lead the way out of the bathroom.

Peyton followed, and really wanted to meet this Annie person.

_**

* * *

**_

_**SIX ****HOURS LATER...**_

She had actually come out there to run around the resort and try to make herself tired since her iPod just wasn't cutting it tonight, but ended up spotting Ichigo looking all pissy.

An evil smirk flashed across Peyton's face. One thought went through her mind: _Now I can get revenge for all the times he's snuck up on me!_

He still hadn't noticed her as she creeped across the bridge on which he was currently standing.

He was leaning over the railing, and as she got closer, she noticed two things. One, he had paper and pen in his hand. Two, he was muttering to himself.

"God, this is one of the stupidest things I've _ever _done. Stupid Toshiro. What does HE know about this crap?! Unless...I was RIGHT. He DOES have a thing for Matsumoto! Either her or Peyton, but him having a crush on Peyton is just unacceptable.."

"Unacceptable? Why is that?" Peyton asked, trying not to laugh as he spazzed out. Ichigo jumped and turned to face her before shoving his hand in his pocket, hiding his paper.

He blinked dumbly at her. "Hmm, what? What did you say?"

Peyton leaned against the railing beside him with a grin. "You heard me just fine, Ichigo. You said it was unacceptable. Why?"

He glanced at her, then noticed she was staring expectantly at him and looked at a random tree instead.

She was tempted to ask why the tree was suddenly so interesting, but decided to give the guy a break. He looked like he had just been caught doing something illegal.

"Well, because he's a...he's a, um...Soul Reaper! Yeah, he's a Soul Reaper, and they're not supposed to associate with humans unless it's for missions, anyway," he explained not-very-smoothly.

Peyton sweatdropped. "Well...isn't associating with me sort of the whole _basis _of Matsumoto's and Toshiro's standby mission here? And aren't YOU a Soul Reaper?"

"What I- what I MEANT was that, uh..CAPTAIN Soul Reapers aren't supposed to have..._feelings _for...uh, human chicks."

Peyton just sweatdropped and shook her head. "That's a splendid answer. When talking to an oblivious hard-assed general. Now tell me the REAL reason it's 'unacceptable'," she commented, imitating his voice with air quotes on the word.

Ichigo's temple throbbed. "Will you stop asking stupid questions, woman?!"

Peyton raised her eyebrows. "What's with this _woman _thing lately? And besides, it's not a stupid question, it's actually a pretty damn good one."

"Well...I don't know about the woman thing. It just keeps slipping out-"

"That's what she said," they muttered under their breath, then sweatdropped. "It's not natural for two people to be as perverted as us, is it?" Peyton asked thoughtfully.

"Nope, I don't think so."

"So. Your real explanation would be nice now."

Ichigo turned a little red, but forced it down in record time; Peyton was kind of impressed.

"Well...Jeez, Peyton, I dunno! I guess just because...you know, you're a good friend and he's...well, sort of a more-than-an-acquaintance-nearly-friend-type-person...and it-"

"Makes you jealous and come up with random terms for your friendship with Toshiro?" Peyton suggested.

Ichigo sweatdropped and sighed in defeat. "...Yeah, I guess."

Peyton laughed. "I don't get why you're so embarassed."

"I'm not _embarassed_!"

"Then what's in your pocket?"

He blinked innocently, slowly backing away. "..._Nooooothing_..."

Peyton sighed. "Ichigo, don't make me put my hand in your pocket."

He turned red again and simply said, "No comment" before running off.

"GET BACK HERE, KUROSAKI!!"

* * *

Peyton sprinted after him, finally managing to tackle him to the ground and pick his pocket.

He didn't realize she had his paper, and flipped her off into the grass. She landed and rolled with an "Oof!", and stood up before brushing herself off.

Peyton grinned smugly, pretending not to notice as he seemed to show slight interest as her hands grazed her butt.

She then calmly picked up the paper and unfolded it. A look of pure horror crossed over his face, and he lunged for her.

"Peyton, don't you dare read that!!"

She simply sidestepped at the last minute, and he went rolling, almost ending up in the lake.

While he was trying to get back up the hill, she read it out loud.

* * *

"Ahem. Toshiro said I should write out whatever the hell my problem was. So that's what I'm doing. Thank God you'll never read this, I'd have to kill myself. So. My problem."

Peyton glanced up as Ichigo climbed up the hill, muttering darkly to himself. _This should be interesting._

"Some people wouldn't think of it as a problem. That it's not bad to feel my stomach feel all tingly when it's just you and me without the idiots we call friends. That it's never bad to have thoughts and dreams about you. That it's definitely not bad that after a while, my head...or _soul_, according to Matsumoto, or _whatever_..anyway, this soul-like thing saw you and kind of went 'Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you for, like...ever!'. And the weird thing is, I think I'd do almost anything for you, even though you hold the world record for being the quickest to piss me off. This is so weird, and kind of scary, and it really, really sucks."

Damn, who the hell was Ichigo writing all this about??

"But it's bad for _me_. I don't _want _all this. It doesn't seem fair. Would YOU consider it fair if you had all these 'good' things going on, but you couldn't act on them? I know, you're probably all 'Whoa, he's such a wuss.'"

Well, actually, she kind of was thinking that.

"Well, I'm _not _a wuss, thank you very much. I'm just extremely paranoid of all the bad things that could happen if I DID act on them. I'm scared of tons of things, but there's only one thing I'm _terrified _of. And that's losing you for good. ....Oh, _and _that Burger King guy, he's creepy as hell-"

Peyton sweatdropped. "He never told me about that...!!"

"So, I guess _two _things. But the first one's a bit more relevant to this paper-thing. And if this 'good feeling' stuff I wrote about isn't happening to you, you'll say no, and then it'll be awkward, just like that one chick I asked out in the seventh grade, Rei something, I can't even remember her full name!!"

_Can you say run-on sentence?!_

"But I'll always remember _your _name, and I don't want that to be the first thing that pops into my head when I think about you. You know, after you reject me. Because there's _no _way this could work out for me. So yeah. I think I'm done. I'm gonna go burn this piece of paper now...probably even flush it down the toilet, or stick it into that processer thing or whatever they're called, they're in the kitchen sinks. You know, some form of cruel and unusual punishment for this goddamned paper-thingie. And then I'm gonna be sure to tell Toshiro this was a stupid idea. Now I'm all depressed. I hope that short bastard's happy now, dammit!"

There was a jumpy line after that sentence, and Peyton guessed that was about the time she had scared the crap out of him.

* * *

She calmly waited for Ichigo to make it back up the hill, then handed him the paper. He looked at her suspiciously.

"Did you read this?!"

She scoffed. "Of course I did. Why _wouldn't _I read it?!"

Then she flashed a half-smile. "Whoever it is you're talking about, I hope it works out."

He blinked a couple times. "You mean you didn't _know_...I mean, uh....thanks."

She yawned and stretched a little before heading for her and Rukia's room. "Well, I'm tired now. Night Ichigo."

"..Night.." He said thoughtfully, looking really confused, yet relieved.

She suddenly turned around, and he pretended he _hadn't _been watching her leave. "Oh, and Ichigo?"

"What?"

She smiled, and it was kind of sad-looking. "..That girl? She's lucky."

Ichigo looked totally surprised, and she turned around real fast before walking quickly for her room.

Reading all that was really draining for some reason.

* * *

**Me: Awwww!**

**Rukia: Still think it's not sweet-yet-sort-of-sad, aka BITTERSWEET, Ichigo??**

**Ichigo: (sniffling) N-No comment...**

**Me: Awwww...Ichigo's all emotional!**

**Ichigo: The FUCK i am!!**

**Rukia: (sighs glumly) AAANNNND he's back.**

**Me: Peyton, Peyton, Peyton. She's so oblivous.**

**Rukia: Yeah...anyway, REVIEW!**


	25. Take A Chance On Me

**Me: I'm so excited! Guess how many reviews we have as of right now?! **

**Ichigo: (excited) 69!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!! **

**Me: (narrows eyes, background turns icy and ominous) That was MY line, Ichigo...(suddenly brightens, everything turns back to normal) So, thanks so much Kavyle, for making the 69th comment! Ahhhh...it made my perverted self crack up for about three minutes straight!**

**Rukia: You weren't the only one... (sweatdrops) Ichigo nearly fell out of his chair when i spread the news to him.**

**Ichigo: (temple throbs) ...You weren't supposed to TELL HER that!**

**Me: Why, because it shows you totally enjoy my fic?**

**Ichigo: Screw you!**

**Me: I'd rather not.**

**Ichigo: ...Wow...that's kind of** **a self-diss, Mandy**

**Me: Well, do YOU want to screw yourself?! Wait, nevermind, don't answer that..**

**Rukia: (obviously ready to END THIS DUMBASS CONVERSATION) Well anyway, ENJOY!**

**Ichigo: And NO, i DON'T!**

* * *

"Bwahahaha!!!" Rukia blurted, holing her stomach as she collapsed back onto her bed, shaking with laughter.

Peyton glared at her. "Rukia, this is serious! Ichigo's seriously lovesick, I swear!"

Her violet eyes widened as her laughter slowed. "Haha...ha..ha...Good God. You're serious."

Peyton threw up a hand impatiently. "Yes! These things _do_ happen, I _CAN_ be serious sometimes!!"

She flipped her body around so she was laying on her stomach, facing Peyton, legs swinging back and forth carelessly in the air.

It was morning, but they hadn't heard any movement. So, either Ichigo and Isshin had actually battled to the death and they had been stupid enough to miss it, or everyone was still asleep.

"I'm sorry, but can you _blame_ me? I mean, Ichigo Kurosaki? LOVESICK?! I didn't think he was hard-wired that way.."

Peyton rolled her eyes, blowing her dark red bangs out of her right eye's line of vision. "Yeah, well, apparently he is. What're we supposed to do?"

"We? You mean YOU, right?"

Her eyes turned wider than her head as she waved her hands as if stopping traffic. "W-Why _me_, Rukia?!"

"Well, odds are that note was about you."

Rukia snorted a laugh at the look on Peyton's clueless face, then cleared her throat awkwardly. "Ahem. Okay, well...if it wasn't, which it WAS...who _else_ do you think he would take any advice from?"

"Gee, I dunno, YOU?!"

"Please. I play _waaaay_ too many pranks on him."

Peyton sweatdropped again. "Me and Toshiro stole his booze the other day, I've screwed around with his mind _tons _of times, in tons of creative ways...And yet you think he'll take _my_ love advice?!"

Rukia sighed impatiently. "Hopeless! Fricking HOPELESS!! Just _talk_ to the poor giant!!"

And with that she stomped off to their bathroom. Peyton watched, jumping in surprise as Rukia slammed the door.

She blinked. "...Damn. Was it something I said??"

_**

* * *

**_

_**ABOUT ****TWO HOURS LATER...**_

"....Lemme get this straight. Ichigo wrote a note about 'some unknown girl', Peyton read it, and she _still_ doesn't get it," Matsumoto clarified.

Peyton's temple throbbed as she abruptly stopped following Karin and waited patiently for Matsumoto and Rukia.

"...I have ears, thank you. And Rukia...you weren't supposed to _tell_ anybody!!"

"Why not?!"

"Because it's personal."

"Because it's about _you_?"

"NO. I mean it's personal to _Ichigo_."

"Since when do you respect _Ichigo's_ _privacy_?" Matsumoto asked skeptically.

"Since when does anybody?" Toshiro added, making Peyton jump. "When the hell did YOU get here?!"

"I've been here this whole time."

He then grinned impishly at Peyton. "Do you still _have_ this note?"

Peyton shook her head. "Nope, I gave it back."

They all turned to look at her, even Karin.

"WHAT?! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO _THAT_?!!"

* * *

Peyton jumped with a yell, then glared at them, temple throbbing even bigger now. "Be-CAUSE, it was the right thing to do."

They stared at her, Karin sighed in disappointment and ran to catch up with Yuzu, and Matsumoto finally snapped her fingers. "Ah-HA! _I_ know what her problem is."

"What is it?" Toshiro and Rukia asked cautiously. "_What_ problem?!" Peyton snapped defensively at the same time.

Matsumoto pointed at her, and she gulped. "I _knew_ you were falling for him! This just proves it even further."

"WHAT?!"

"Why else would you suddenly have a change of heart and _respect_ _his privacy_?!"

"Because I felt bad reading it! I started blushing just _thinking_ about how much he must like this chick!!"

"Because it's _you_?"

"DAMMIT RUKIA, STOP SAYING THAT FOR EVERYTHING!!"

Matsumoto just giggled and shook out her locks. "Whatever. I have a good feeling about today."

* * *

They had gone back to Magic Kingdom for the day, and spent most of the day riding rides, eating, and screwing around.

It was weird for Peyton, though. Ichigo kind of seemed to be...well, almost _totally _avoiding her. In fact, the only time he talked to her for the next six hours was to ask her what time it was.

Ironically, that was the first thing he had asked her on her first day in Karakura. She remembered it quite vividly for the way Keigo had glared at him; she had tried really hard not to laugh at him.

Karin and Yuzu spent most of THEIR day whispering to each other and glancing from Peyton to Ichigo. It was annoying as hell.

It wasn't until the late-afternoon parade that they figured out what all their whispering had been about.

* * *

Ichigo was standing in front of Peyton- probably on purpose, if you asked her. She knew he seemed to not want to deal with her today, so she simply moved to a different spot.

But she noticed Karin and Yuzu creeping up behind him, and tried to get his attention to help him avoid certain death. "Psst. PSST!! ICHIGO!!"

He turned slowly to look at her, and his sisters were suddenly two blurs; Karin pinned his arms across his chest, holding him in place, and Yuzu searched his pockets.

"Oh my God...KARIN AND YUZU ARE MUGGING ICHIGO!?!" Rukia screeched.

This got everybody, even some of the parade members, to suddenly stop what they were doing and look at Ichigo.

He was currently trying to wriggle free, yelling obscenities at his little sisters. Due to some of the more important parade members stopping, the _whole _parade stopped suddenly, now bumper-to-bumper.

Yuzu held up a piece of paper triumphantly, and Peyton whined to herself.

"Okay, deep breaths. Maybe she'll just read it, make fun of him a little, and move on."

To her horror, Mickey and Goofy walked right up to Yuzu, microphone in hand.

"Looks like you found a little treasure there! What's your name, sweetie?" Jasmine asked from the parade line.

She beamed and answered happily, "Yuzu!"

Matsumoto and Karin exchanged an evil grin. Ichigo looked like he was going to commit suicide as Mickey handed her the microphone.

"Would ya mind sharing with us what's so important about this here slip of paper, little You-zoo?"

Yuzu unfolded it spastically, never having had such an awesome opportunity to humiliate her big brother. Goofy held the paper up for her so she could focus on holding the mic right, and she read in a strong, clear voice.

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"AWWWWWWWWWW!!!!"

The crowd erupted into cooing and such, and Ichigo zoned right in on Peyton with a look that could kill.

She gulped and laughed nervously, waving her fingers at him in an innocent-like wave. _Well, at least she left out the cussing.._

Minnie clapped her hands together. "That's so _sweet_! Mickey doesn't write things like that lately," she teased.

Mickey giggled and pointed the mic at Ichigo. "This is _your_ note, right?"

Ichigo's death look barely eased as he answered, with zero inflection whatsoever, "...Yeah. Yes, it is, Mickey."

"Well, good-golley! Who's that special girl?"

"...I'm not at liberty to say."

"And why's that, pal?"

Genie snapped his fingers. "Hey, Orange! I think you should just explain to us why you can't act on these 'good feelings' of yours."

The crowd and fellow parade members shouted in agreement, and Ichigo paled. Peyton gulped again.

"Rukia?"

"Yes, Peyton?"

"I feel faint. I think Ichigo just might _murder _me when this parade is over."

"I'll check the ice machine room for your body in the morning," was Rukia's splendid reply. Peyton just sweatdropped and gaped at her.

To her utter surprise, Ichigo just sighed and took the mic Mickey was currently holding out to him, leaning against a nearby pole casually. "Great idea, Mickey. Well, you see, it all started about eight months ago..."

_**

* * *

**_

_**FORTY-EIGHT ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"....And so, you see, not only is she considered untouchable to me....but quite honestly, I don't stand a fricking _chance_!" Ichigo concluded with sweeping gestures.

Their whole portion of Main Street USA was silent.

Peyton was the first to break the silence by clearing her throat. "..Hey, Ichigo?"

"Yes, Peyton?"

"I think you should just _tell _this Dakota chick."

Everyone yelled similar phrases of agreement, and Ichigo sweatdropped. "...Maybe I should've just used actual names and events instead of censoring them for the kiddie audience.."

Peyton shrugged, then grinned at him. "I don't see what you're so nervous about. It sure as hell SOUNDS ike she likes you just as much as you like her."

Ichigo had a very evil-looking grin on his face. "....You _really _think so, Peyton?"

"Oh, definitely. I guess she's just too clueless to realize it."

"Jeez, tell me about it," Rukia and Matsumoto muttered in perfect unison.

Mickey patted Ichigo's shoulder. "The little lady makes a good point, but I know how ya feel, Eee-chee-go. It took me a reeeeaall long time to get the guts to ask _Minnie_ on a date!"

Minnie giggled and nodded. "It's true. He was a nervous wreck."

"But I'm glad I did! Look at all the good that happened from it. Let's all give him a big, warm, 'Good Luck Ee-chee-go!'"

All of Main Street USA turned to Ichigo (Peyton and the others included) and shouted, in total unison, some even waving their arms:

"ONE, TWO, THREE!! GOOD LUCK EE-CHEE-GO!!!!!!!"

The parade then continued without any other hitches, and Ichigo sweatdropped as Mickey and Friends disappeared around the corner to the next street.

The awaiting crowd's cheerful cries of relief could be heard rather clearly over the music.

"...Well. THAT was odd."

_**

* * *

**_

_**A ****FEW MORE HOURS LATER...**_

"How come you're always first to be finished with food?" Rukia asked with honest curiousity as Peyton threw away the container of her snow cone.

Peyton shrugged, then looked longingly at the trash can. "I've been told I eat like five grown men. Dammit, I should've kept that as a souvenir."

Rukia laughed, then glanced over Peyton's shoulder. Like an idiot, Peyton looked as well. A little ways off, Toshiro and Ichigo were talking quietly.

Judging by all of Ichigo's quick nodding, he was being reassured of something. She turned back to Rukia, raising her eyebrows.

"Jeez, they look pretty serious. I wonder what they're talking about...??"

Rukia merely blinked at her. "...Hmm..I wonder..What, indeed?" Without another word, she walked off.

Peyton sweatdropped, then shrugged and went to get a good spot for the firework show.

She finally found the best spot she could; a platform, the base of a fountain.

She'd watched shows in worst spots.

Rukia, Matsumoto, and Toshiro soon joined her on the platform.

Yuzu was on Karin's shoulders, who was currently on _Isshin's _shoulders.

Ichigo was nowhere to be found. Weird.

Peyton really wished he had gotten a good spot, too; unlike her, he'd never been to Disney World, and hadn't really paid attention to the late-night firework shows on previous nights of their trip.

The show was about at the halfway-mark when she noticed her friends slowly inching away from her.

Peyton beamed happily. "Wow, I didn't even have to say anything! You really DO know how much I like my personal space.."

They sweatdropped, laughing nervously. "Yes, that's _exactly_ what we were doing," Toshiro said smoothly.

_Weird, but whatever._

There was a poke against her back, and she jumped with a yell. The poker laughed- I_chigo, KNEW IT_- and steadied her.

She glared at him as he hopped up beside her. "Dammit, Ichigo, I could've busted my head! AGAIN.."

"But you didn't. You're welcome."

"I never _said_ thank you, so neh."

"It was _implied_, so neh."

"Neh yourself."

"Neh YOUR-self."

"What if I don't feel like it?"

"It doesn't matter, I have something I want to say, anyways."

He was about to continue, but Peyton just snapped her fingers and pointed at him. "Nu-uh-_uh_! You're not trying THAT trick on me again! This argument shall PERSIST, Kurosaki!"

"Peyton, I'm serious this time."

"You don't know the meaning of the word," Peyton scoffed.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Don't make me just _not_ say it!"

"Fine, DON'T say the nonexistent news you mentioned to try and trick me into letting you win the argument!!"

"Okay, REALLY? REALLY, PEYTON?!"

"REALLY, Ichigo."

"God!"

"Jeez!"

"GAH!!"

"SNORKEL!!"

"Dammit, you- whoa, wait, _what_? Snorkel?!"

"I ran out of sayings, so I just threw something out there."

Ichigo sighed impatiently. "Will you just let me say what I wanted to say before I chicken out?!"

"Will you stop with this 'important announcement' bit?! I'm not dropping this argument, and that's that!"

"Oh good God, Peyton-"

"Okay, okay, SURE, I might not even remember what STARTED this argument, but dammit, I'm not losing yet ANOTHER one!"

Ichigo finally just grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her to face him. "Dammit woman, will you just shut up for five minutes and let me take you out once this damn trip's over?!"

Before she could even BEGIN to cover all the things wrong with that statement, he kissed her as a way to shut her up.

* * *

Although she knew she didn't want to, she pulled away to glare at him. "Whoa, whoa, WHOA! What about that Dakota chick?!"

"Who the hell's Dakota?!!"

"THE ONE YOU WROTE THE DAMN NOTE ABOUT, DUMBASS!!"

Ichigo blinked dumbly, then laughed. "Peyton, that girl was you. The only Dakota I know about is an American state. A north one and a south one. Stupid Americans, think they need two of everything.."

She pointed a finger at him. "Hey, don't push it."

Peyton wrinkled up her nose as she thought back really hard. "...Hey...WAIT a minute...that means you were talking about ME during the parade!"

Ichigo sweatdropped. "Well...that's the general idea."

Peyton smirked. "Wow, you lied to _Mickey Mouse_? Well, aren't YOU a bad-ass!"

Ichigo just watched with a smirk. Anyone could clearly see on her face the stages of which she thought; first she was proud of her smart-ass comment, then she seemed to be thinking in a 'WAIT a minute!' kind of way, and finally, she processed what he had said before kissing her.

"Hey..._wait _a minute...did you just ask me out?" She asked carefully.

"Little bit, yes."

Peyton eyed him suspiciously, pointing at him. "But...that's not possible!"

Ichigo sweatdropped. "Why's that?!"

"It just is! Ichigo Kurosaki does NOT ask Annoying Midgets out!!"

"Well, Ichigo Kurosaki just DID."

"Well, why would Ichigo Kurosaki _do _such a dumb thing?"

"Hmm, not sure. We should ask him later. But my theory is that the Annoying Midget just..kind of rubbed off on him."

"Or it COULD be the Annoying Midget's hotness."

"Maybe."

"Ah-HA! You admitted it!"

"Not completely."

"But a little bit, yes?"

"I'll let you have that one."

Peyton shrugged. "_I'd _tap that," she commented sarcastically.

"Me too."

"Hahaha- wait, what?"

Ichigo just grinned innocently. "Nothing, nothing, not a thing."

"I'll be watching you very carefully, Ichigo Kurosaki."

"Is that a yes?"

"It's an 'I'll be watching you very carefully, Kurosaki'."

"Which...is a yes. Right? Right?!"

"Figure it out." With that said, she kissed him. He pulled away long enough to pump his fist and yell, "I WAS RIGHT!!", but then pulled her right back to him.

They heard Matsumoto comment, and...well, let's just say it was obscene enough to make Peyton blush and Ichigo simply flip her off, all while still kissing.

What a Juno move.

Oh well, it worked rather nicely.

Until, of course, Peyton felt something tingling and..burning?

She pulled away. "Ichigo, are you feeling...sparks?"

He smirked. "_Damn_, I'm good."

* * *

Peyton glanced around. "No, seriously, I feel little sparks around my legs!"

Then, out of nowhere, another stray firework exploded right above them, making them both spazz out and trip over each other, falling right in the fountain.

Their friends stared at them, then busted out laughing at once. Toshiro straightened his posture and cleared his throat, offering Ichigo his hand, trying to be The Good Old Soul Reaper Captain.

Ichigo simply looked to Peyton suggestively, who nodded with an evil grin. He grabbed Toshiro's hand, yanking him in. "THIS IS FOR MY FRENCH WINE, YOU WHITE-HAIRED BOOZE-HOG!!"

Toshiro flipped into the fountain, coming up with a comical look on his face as he blew some stray hair out of his eyes with a stoic, 'I'm About To Go Ape-Shit On You All' look on his face.

Ichigo and Peyton promptly laughed their asses off.

"Peyton had some wine, too!" Toshiro pointed out like a true teenager.

"Yes, but _Peyton _has _boobs_," Matsumoto commented.

Everyone sweatdropped, and she laughed nervously. "I...guess that wasn't directed to me, was it?"

Rukia coughed meaningfully. "Well, that, _and _the fact that now they're officially 'together', soooo...I think she's already redeemed herself."

Ichigo and Peyton glanced at each other, then shrugged. "True," they said in perfect unison, with a short half-laugh before kissing some more.

"...That's what I MEANT to say!" Matsumoto whined defensively.

Their kissing was interrupted by Karin, Yuzu, and Isshin jumping in, and Isshin broke the kiss apart so he could give Peyton a huge bear hug.

Which resulted in Ichigo trying to intervene once Peyton started changing colors. Which then started some perverted comments.

And it all snowballed from there. When Disney officials arrived, they were greeted by Rukia inspecting pennies in the fountain, Karin and Yuzu laughing at Ichigo, who was battling Isshin, Peyton taking bets from spectators on who would win, and Matsumoto and Toshiro engaged in an all-out water fight.

They ended up accidentally attacking the officials with their aura-enhanced water, which Peyton was pretty sure wasn't in the Soul Reaper Handbook, and it resulted in all their other friends getting caught up in the water fight.

She wondered for a moment after the water-war about that first day, when Ichigo asked her the time and Keigo had glared at him so fiercely. It had taken her at least five months to figure it out. Maybe even then, Keigo could tell just how much Ichigo and Peyton would get to know each other.

When you think about it, that's pretty funny considering she was currently linking her arm through his, soaked to the bone, a huge-ass castle lit up with Christmas lights behind them, security sirens fading away. The officials had a sense of humor, let's just leave it at that.

Peyton ended up losing some money from those bets, but quite honestly, she wouldn't have it any other way.

**

* * *

**

**Me and Rukia: (Mouths full of popcorn) Awwwwww!! It finally happened!**

**Ichigo: (mouth also full of popcorn) Shut the HELL up!! (Tosses Kavyle a freshly-baked cookie) Here ya go, fresh from Yuzu, fountain-water-free. (Points to me) and YOU...will you stop commenting on my love life?!**

**Me: Awww, how cute! The Big Bad Soul Reaper's blushing...!!**

**Ichigo: (turning face away spastically) A-Am not!**

**Me: Oh reeeaally?**

**Ichigo: Go away!!**

**Rukia: (Watches with a couple sweatdrops as i chase Ichigo over a few hills, yelling obscenities at each other the whole way) Ummm...Review, while i go get Mandy's butterfly net...Hopefully i can catch them with that..!!**


	26. Oh My God! PS Yes that's an actual song!

**Me and Ichigo: (eating the cake and half-cake given to us by Maxride4life) Mmmmm...Hey there!**

**Rukia: (grinning) Y'know, i like you and peyton going out. **

**Ichigo: (totally uninterested) Really. awesome.**

**Rukia: yeah. it makes you a lot more agreeable and less of a dumbass.**

**Me: (smirks) awwww, hear that? i think peyton's good for you, ichigo! it's a miracle!**

**Ichigo: (still shoveling in cake) i could care less what you broads think, i've got peyton and cake, and that's about all there is to it.**

**Me: (obviously impressed) Wow, good answer, Kurosaki! (sticks HUGE piece of cake into my mouth) mmmm....so good...**

**Rukia: (looking absolutely horrified) Good God...You two are absolute PIGS!! (cheerful) Enjoy! **

* * *

Peyton heard the weird noise again and finally shot into a sitting position with a growl of frustration.

"What the HELL is that stupid- ...oh." It was her cell phone.

Hoping nothing major had happened, she dove for it, yanking it from the bedside table and flipping it open.

Her eyes widened a fraction. "....179 new messages, 87 missed calls, and 96 voicemails?!" She wondered out loud, deciding to read the most recent text.

It was from one of her classmates, just like the rest of them.

**OMG!!! SAW THE VID....FINALLY!! AHHHH!!! **

Peyton furrowed her brows in confusion and read the next one.

**Dude, Peyton, THANK YOU!!! Thanks to u and Ichigo, I just won 400 bucks off 18 bets. If u 2 werent legit, I would so kiss u rite now! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! I'LL HAVE SPECIAL XMAS PRESENTS WAITIN FOR U GUYS!!**

Her pulse shot up a little, and she was starting to freak out as she read message after message. A little sampling:

_#32: _**YAY YAY YAY YAY YAAAAYYY!! Ur fights were HILARIOUS!! LOL!! **

_#47: _**Ohhh yeaahhh....tell ichigo I said GET SOME!! ...Oh, and happy late bday peyton.**

_#54: _**I think my lil sis is now obsessed wit u two. U guys r now her screensavr. Oh, she told me to tell you MERRY CHRISTMAS. Btw, thanks for helpin me win a ton of bets last night. **

_#66: _**WOOT-WOOT! LIP ACTION! I SWEAR TO GOD, HALF THE FRESHMAN CHICKS R PLOTTIN TO KILL U, SO WATCH OUT PEYTON!! THEY'RE AFTER UR MAN!! LMAO!!**

Number 66 was the most helpful, because it had a link on it.

Peyton left the message open as she stuffed her phone in her boxers pocket, threw the covers off herself, and stomped through the door system to find Karin's laptop.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Peyton had almost dropped the stupid thing, but luckily she caught the laptop mid-air. But while she was congratulating herself on how Jedi that just looked, she tripped over a glass and landed on Yuzu's bed, causing her to jolt awake with a yell.

Peyton quickly calmed her by explaining why she was there. This, of course, made her light up like a kid on Christmas.

While Peyton got the laptop powered up and bit her nails, Yuzu woke up Karin, who decided this was too funny to pass up and ran to Isshin and Ichigo's room before anyone could bother stopping her.

So now, there they were; Ichigo reading Peyton's texts, Peyton bouncing anxiously as the internet loaded, and the two little kids jumping excitedly on the other bed.

It finally loaded, and she typed the link in frantically. However, Ichigo suddenly spazzed out, holding his ear, causing her to mistype it.

"What the hell's your problem?!" She snapped, retyping the address impatiently. She wanted to see how the hell everyone knew they were making out in Disney World.

He pressed a button on her phone with a lot more force than necessary. "Sorry. Ran out of texts to read, so I went to voicemails. Some random chick just squealed into my ear..."

"You ran outta texts? Already? There were over 100!"

"Yeah, but they pretty much said the same stuff. Except for a few _extra_ perverted ones here and there. I took the liberty of deleting them so you wouldn't be scarred for life."

Peyton shrugged, then realized where the link had taken her. She tapped Ichigo's arm spastically as if he wasn't able to see it from right beside her, but he let her, because he was in total shock like her.

"Ho...Ly..Crap!!" They said in disbelief. It was a video titled "Ichigo and Peyton's Epic Hook Up in Disney...LOL!"

It was footage of almost all their most ridiculous situations, from the Toshiro-and-Peyton fight at Splash Mountain, to Ichigo and Isshin on American Idol, to their near-death experience at Blizzard Beach, and a few more of them making out and such, ultimately leading up to the parade and Ichigo asking her out.

Everything. Every word, every action, every habit they displayed during said incidents....EVERYTHING.

"Whoa. This is like..._surreal_," Peyton said quietly.

Ichigo pointed in the bottom right corner, and they both gulped. "Over 5,000 views so far," Peyton said weakly.

"And it's only been one day, according to the info tab," Ichigo added in a similar, choked-sounding tone.

"Ooooh, look. Ninety-something comments already. Let's look!" Yuzu announced, scrolling down happily.

Peyton and Ichigo were too dumbfounded to even bother stopping her.

* * *

The comments were mostly like her texts. Another sampling, perhaps?

**#18: **_Peyton: "I'd tap that." Ichigo: "Yeah, me too." Peyton: "Hahaha- Wait, WHAT?" OMG!! LOL that was priceless! The looks on their faces when they fight are soooo hilarious!! _

**#27: **_Awww man, tht's not fair! I wanna guy like that...!!_

_**#34: **Dude, shes such a skank. i bet she makes out with tons of guys!!! ugh...ichigo, blondes are ALWAYS better dammit._

**#59: **_Awwww she's so pretty! Hahahaha I wouldve DIED if my lil sis read a love lettr I wrote, out loud, to all of main street usa!!! lol!!! _

**#62: **_YEEEAAHH!! I GO TO SKEWL WIT THESE TWO!! GET SOME, ICHIGO!! _

**#63: **_Lol I wonder if they even kno they've been video'd durin all this random crap..._

**#68: **_Ahhhh, SO close to being numba 69.. oh well..dude, I agree wit ichigo and payton, I would SO tap that.._

**#69: **_YEEESSS!!! NUMBER 69!!! YEAH BABY!! dude tht makeout session in the pool is HOT. Too bad peytons taken now..you see that #68? PEYTON, not Payton. Dumbass..LOL!!_

**#88: **_damn that peyton...takin ichigo like that!!! god I wish I knew where they were from, I want him soooo baaadddd...*sighs* guess i'll just have to go back to that one frame with a good shot of his abs and make that my screensavr for now...but mark my wrds, if I find out where she lives, peytons gonna pay!! hehehehe!!_

* * *

They both sweatdropped at the creepiness of number 88. Peyton sighed and handed him the laptop before standing a little ways off from him and his sisters. "Here, you can keep looking. It's too early for this."

She did a little spazz-dance as her phone vibrated five more times in her pocket before yanking it out and throwing it against the wall with a growl of frustration.

Her head hurt. She wasn't used to her personal life being invaded like this. _Oh crap. What if dad somehow saw that?! What if SETH saw that?! Ohmigod, they'd shoot Ichigo, I just know it!!_

"Do they even _own _guns?"

Peyton jumped, not even bothering to turn around, and sweatdropped. "I was thinking out loud again, wasn't I?"

"Little bit."

"Your fangirls are gonna kill me. You know that, right?"

He laughed once, hugging her from behind. "I think you can take 'em. Just like _I'll _have to fend off your _fanboys_."

"I have _fanboys_?"

"You didn't know that??"

"No.."

"Y'know, I think Keigo was originally the vice president of the club, but after he started dating your sister, he resigned."

"Karakura High sure _loves _diversity in the club department."

"They aim to please."

"Says the manual, anyway."

"Well, you know our _vice principal _didn't say it."

"Sir-Farts-A-Lot?"

"That's the one."

"He _loves _me!"

"He _hates _me. He's gonna hate me even more after he sees that video."

Peyton rolled her eyes. "Ha! Farts-A-Lot having a Youtube account? Funny."

"Awwwww," his sisters said in unison. To her immense smugness, Ichigo didn't even let go of her waist as he snapped, "SHUT UP!! YUZU, STOP TAKING DAMN PICTURES!!"

Peyton sweatdropped. "She's taking pictures? Jeez, you'd think a fricking video is enough, but _noooo_."

"Speaking of which, who the hell do you think got all that footage??"

"Well, Ichigo, it could only be one or all of six people, and I think you know who they are."

As if on cue, Rukia stomped in. "Dammit, Ichigo, what the hell are you-...Oh. How _cute_!"

"SHUT UP RUKIA!!" They both shouted.

Isshin ran in. "Whatever could you be yelling at _Rukia _for?!" Everyone but Rukia exchanged an eye-roll. In Isshin's eyes, Rukia (along with Peyton) could do no wrong.

"Mr. Kurosaki, Ichigo snapped at me," Rukia whined.

Isshin ate it up. "_Son_! You have to respect the women! Just because you _finally_ landed my Future Daughter-In-Law, doesn't mean you can snap at poor _Rukia_! After all, she's my first grandchild's future godmother!"

* * *

Peyton and Ichigo sweatdropped. "He's got this all planned out, doesn't he?" Peyton wondered out loud.

At the same time, Ichigo sighed in exasperation. "Dad, _Peyton _yelled at her, too!!"

"Oh, I see how it is. Sell ME out, why don't you!" Peyton said, acting as if she were extremely offended as she slipped out of Ichigo's grip.

Isshin sighed. "Son, I highly doubt my Future Daughter-In-Law would do such a thing."

"Believe it. _Didn't _she, Rukia!"

"I didn't hear her say anything of the sort," Rukia said innocently. Peyton coughed to hide her laughing as Isshin made fun of Ichigo, causing another battle to ensue.

Rukia yawned and looked at Peyton. "Hey. Wanna get ready?"

"Where're we going today??"

"I dunno. I think Animal Kingdom."

Peyton shrugged and followed Rukia to their room. "Sure."

"Hey, where do you think _you're _going, Peyton?!" She heard Ichigo shout.

"You can do it, babe! I have total faith in you!" Was Peyton's innocent reply as she kept walking, and Rukia just smirked and shut the door connecting the two rooms.

* * *

**Me: Ha! Poor Ichigo.**

**Ichigo: (sneakily stabs his fork into a piece of my cake slice) shut up. **

**Rukia: (smirks) yeah, mandy. Jeez, if he's gonna show off, she might as well stay to watch!**

**Ichigo: I WASN'T SHOWING OFF!!**

**Me and Rukia: Uh-huh. Suuure.**

**Ichigo: Psht. I don't NEED to show off. My awesomeness is quite obvious.**

**Me: Whatever. REVIEW! **

**Me and Ichigo Together: (Innocent, dazzling grins) THANKS FOR THE CAKES!!!**


	27. Nine In The Afternoon

**Me and Ichigo: (eating bits and pieces of the million cakes strewn all over the room) Mmmm...so good....ahhhh...**

**Rukia: (rolls eyes) i worry about you guys, all the time.**

**Me: awww Rukia, that's so sweet! **

**Ichigo: (laughs and then continues to eat the cake)**

**Me: anyways, enjoy!**

* * *

Peyton figured it was highly unlikely she'd end up with her hair being eaten by a flamingo again, but she wore waterproof mascara and eyeliner, just in case.

She had just pulled on her shirt when there was pounding on the connecting door. "Peyton, take your phone!" Yuzu begged.

"It's going off every three seconds," Karin added dully.

Peyton sighed, opened the door, took the phone out of Yuzu's hands, and threw it against the farthest wall.

The back popped out of it, and she grinned a little maniacally before shutting the door.

Rukia sweatdropped. "I worry about you sometimes, Peyton."

"Well, it's good to know you care, Rukia."

_**

* * *

**_

_**TWENTY-FOUR ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Ichigo poked her shoulder lightly. He held up his phone. "Lindsay's calling me. Should I answer, or should you, since I'm sure she's only calling me because you murdered your own phone."

Peyton crossed her arms moodily. "Stupid phone had it coming. I need to switch to AT&T, anyways. You answer."

Ichigo hesitantly did so. She couldn't say she blamed him; who knows what Lindsay would say..?

"Hello?"

_"OHMIGOD OHMIGOD OHMIGOOOOOOODDD!!!!!"_

They both winced and covered their ears spastically. "DAMMIT, LINDSAY!" They shouted in perfect unison.

Her airhead of a sister just giggled, unfazed. _"Why, good morning, you two. Have you seen the video?"_

"Sadly, yes," was Ichigo's reply.

Peyton poked him and gestured for him to switch ears, and once the phone was closer, she put her head on his shoulder so she could listen in.

They noticed that by this time, at least three of the bus passengers near them had moved, and they sweatdropped.

_"Ohmigod, everyone at school's talking about it! I mean, they were jealous enough that you guys ditched to go to Disney World, but now..."_

"How are the freshman girls?" Peyton asked worriedly, making Ichigo smirk all smug-like.

_"Pretty hostile. Well, some of 'em really don't care, they had seen it coming. But about five handfuls had their hopes up, and then you came with your big feet and squashed their hopes like a bug, sis," _Lindsay said cheerfully.

Peyton sweatdropped. "I am truly a horrible person..." Then she shrugged. "Oh, well. They didn't stand a chance, anyway. It takes a huge amount of strength to not kill you, Ichigo. I'm afraid I'm the only girl who's mastered that skill."

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Well, that, and the fact that you couldn't kill me if you tried."

"I could too!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"How would you kill me?"

"It would depend on how pissed I was and what you did that finally made me snap."

"Okay...hmm...say I broke up with you. How would you kill me?"

"Hmmm...I'd probably break your Xbox, but then THAT would mean I couldn't play it anymore, so I'd probably just beat you over the head with it and take it back to my house."

"Okay, what if I cheated on you?"

"Easy. I'd get my dad to shoot your orange ass."

"Why does everyone assume my ass is orange??...Okay, What if I played the meanest April Fool's ever and put Chappies all over your house?"

"I'd probably either hang you or train the Chappies to kill Ichigo Kurosaki on sight."

"But then you would have to thank me, because if you trained them, you'd finally get over your fear," he pointed out.

"Yes, well, I _say_ that I would train them, but we both know I'd chicken out and have Rukia do it."

"True. But what if Rukia MADE you train them?"

"She'd never miss an opportunity to be the Chappy General."

"What if she caught swine flu, though, and you HAD to train them?"

"Well then, in that case, I would be forever grateful and decide you should live a little longer, but it would be too late because the Chappies had already completed their training."

"...Oh. You're evil sometimes, you know that?"

Peyton shrugged. "It's a gift. Oh, wait, Lindsay's still on. Sorry!"

No answer.

"..Hello?"

They looked at the screen and saw that she had hung up already. Ichigo looked up at the bus' ceiling thoughtfully.

"You know, now that I think about it...I could've sworn I heard her saying she'd just call later when we weren't being idiotic.."

They both sweatdropped, then shrugged. "Oh well."

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

When they arrived, they moved to get off the bus, but then a few cheerleaders stopped her and Ichigo.

"We saw the video on Youtube," one announced.

"....Great.." They said slowly.

A brunette with way too much blush on held out her arm. "Ichigo, do you think you could write on my arm? Maybe wish me and my team good luck?"

Three other girls held out their arms for him and Peyton, who just sweatdropped. Peyton finally pulled out her lime-green Sharpie, and they all started bouncing in place with squeals.

The brunette held out a sky blue Sharpie to Ichigo, who took it out of her grip with another sweatdrop.

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Even his _handwriting _feels gentle!" One whispered giddily as they left the bus.

"What I'd give to be that paper," another replied.

"What I'd give to be _Peyton_," another said with a laugh, making the others giggle. In total unison, they all turned around, giggled, and waved bye to them.

"THANK YOU!!"

And just like that, they were gone.

The bus driver sighed impatiently. "You two plan on getting off BEFORE my shift's over?"

Peyton and Ichigo, still dumbfounded, slowly trudged off the bus.

Their group (now including Matsumoto and Toshiro) were waiting anxiously at the gates to Animal Kingdom.

"Damn, it took you two long enough! What the hell were you doing in there?" Rukia asked impatiently.

"Are you sure you want to know the answer to that?" Toshiro whispered. The two sweatdropped again. "We were signing cheerleaders' arms," Peyton stated.

Everyone's jaws dropped, and they sweatdropped. "WHY?!"

"They asked us to," Ichigo said in a "duh" tone. "Doesn't everybody sign random people's arms?"

They exchanged a smirk at the confused looks on everyone else's faces, and lead the way into the park.

* * *

They spent at least half the day doing a few things they missed the first time, like the safari.

Toshiro's expression when a hippo ran right for their part of the convoy, in the row he was sitting in? Priceless.

They were walking around when Peyton saw it.

Matsumoto and Toshiro had been going back and forth over the stupid hippo and how "hostile" it was, Rukia was fiddling with her souvenir cup and trying to figure out how the bendy straw worked, Karin and Yuzu were teasing Peyton and Ichigo, and the latter were ignoring the two sisters, sharing some popcorn, which they would throw over their shoulder at Karin and Yuzu every once in a while.

"They act like we haven't heard them tease us for the past...what, eight months?" Ichigo commented.

Peyton laughed. "I know, right?" Then she squinted at Expedition Everest, whose peak could clearly be seen from where they were, on the othe side of the massive park.

"Hey, do you see that?"

"See what, the huge-ass mountain? Nope."

Peyton rolled her eyes and pointed at the moving object. "No, I'm serious. It looks like a-"

"Is that the Yeti?" Karin asked, pointing where Peyton was pointing.

Yuzu squinted. "What're you talking about? I don't see _anything_, Karin."

"It's right there! It's huge, white, shaggy-haired....The Yeti!"

Peyton and Ichigo abruptly stopped walking, exchanging a look.

She knew just as much as he did that Yuzu couldn't see spirits. But Karin could. So if Karin could see it, and Yuzu couldn't...

"Could there really be a _Hollow _in _Animal Kingdom_?" Peyton asked quietly.

"It'd fit right in, when you think about it," he replied under his breath.

"How ironic.."

Rukia huffed moodily. "What the hell are you two stopping for? Kali River Water Rapids is calling, and it's all the way on the other side, right by Expe-....wait a minute...is that the Yeti up there?!"

Toshiro stood on the other side of Rukia, squinting, then grunted. "That's no Yeti."

"Nope, it's one big-ass Hollow," Peyton replied.

All the Soul Reapers groaned, and Isshin and the girls turned around. "What?" Karin asked dully, obviously avoiding even glancing in the mountain's direction. Karin was constantly in denial about seeing spirits, according to Ichigo.

"Uhh...You know, I'm really hungry, aren't you Matsumoto?"

"Oh, uhhh, starving!"

"Why don't you three go ahead, and I'll make sure they don't break any laws while they're eating?" Peyton said smoothly.

Isshin hesitated, glancing at Expedition Everest suspiciously. He must've noticed everyone pointing at it.

As if on cue, they heard a monstrous roar, making the Soul Reapers tense immediately.

People passing by gasped and laughed. "Wow, the ambiance machines are so realistic today!" One guy said as he passed Peyton, who paled at the thought of the poor ghost the Hollow must be currently after.

Having no time to waste, the Soul Reapers started bouncing on the balls of their feet. If it weren't because of a Hollow, which to be honest, was so huge that even _Ichigo _looked a little worried, Peyton would've found their bouncing funny.

Isshin seemed worried by the roar as well, almost as if he knew what it really was. "..Well then, I guess we'll meet you at the Rapids," he said cheerfully.

As soon as they were a good distance away, the Reapers sprinted for the mountain. Ichigo hesitated.

"Hey, Peyton."

"Yo."

"Watch my body, will ya? I don't wanna end up in the back end of an ambulance again. I almost gave that guy a heart attack."

She nodded. "Not like I have anywhere to be." He grinned and ruffled her hair before going all Soul Reaper and running after the others.

Peyton simply caught his body by the sleeve of its shirt, setting it down a little easier. Didn't want to have to hear Ichigo get all pissy over a huge throbbing bump on his head.

She sighed and pulled Ichigo a little ways to the side before plopping down beside him.

A passersby looked at him, then patted her shoulder sympathetically. "I'm so sorry your boyfriend died out of the blue like that."

Peyton sweatdropped as they walked away. "...This is gonna be a long day."

_**

* * *

**_

_**AN ****HOUR LATER...**_

She knew how good of a Soul Reaper he was, as were the others, but she couldn't help but get all worried.

It was taking way too long. Usually him and Rukia were done in five minutes tops. Now they had Toshiro and Matsumoto, yet they had been gone at least an hour so far.

Sure, it had been the hugest Hollow she had seen so far. Did that mean it was harder to kill?

Apparently so.

Either that, or the majority of people that passed were right, and her boyfriend DID die out of the blue.

Awesome.

"I'm so sorry about your boyfriend. It's all over the park."

Peyton just looked up tiredly. "Thanks."

"So...Does this mean you're single and looking, or are you still in the grieving process?"

Peyton sweatdropped. "Please go away now."

He left quietly, shoulders slumped in defeat. She rolled her eyes; guys were such idiots sometimes.

She closed her eyes, leaning back against the wall. She heard yet another roar, and couldn't help but flinch.

"Is it true that your boyfriend died out of the blue?" Asked a familiar female voice.

Peyton opened one eye, but then both eyes turned huge, her jaw dropping. Of all people, it was the woman from Splash Mountain she had encountered that first day.

"...Uh..Yeah, I guess it is," was her careful reply.

The woman made a tsk noise, and her son pulled on her hand. "Can we go now?"

"Hold on Michael!" She scolded, then flashed an apologetic smile. "I remember you. You sat in front of us on Splash Mountain about a week ago. You know, I could've sworn I heard you and your boyfriend later that night, shouting about something stupid, but I couldn't see you."

"Yeah, we left early that night, so that couldn't have been us," Peyton lied smoothly with a short laugh.

The woman made the tsk noise again, patting her arm awkwardly. "I'm sorry. He really seemed like he loved you."

Peyton was momentarily rendered speechless. "Um...thank you."

"Do you need me to call someone to get his body or something? Maybe try and revive him?"

"No, thank you. I already have," she lied. Again.

The woman nodded sympathetically and gave her a half-wave goodbye before getting tugged along by her son.

"Michael, that lady just lost her boyfriend! Be nice and patient when mommy talks to people!" She scolded as they left.

Michael looked back at her. Peyton waved with a smile. "Sorry about the Orange Boy, lady," he called out with an innocent smile.

Peyton bit back a laugh. "Thank you!"

Then they turned a corner.

Peyton sat there for a minute, amazed that out of all people, she encountered HER. Then she replayed the conversation in her mind, and couldn't help but blush.

Sure, Ichigo liked her. Obviously. But love? No way. Right? Right?!

Peyton shook her head so quickly she could've sworn she saw the back of her head. "No, just stop thinking about it!"

So of course she did nothing but think about it, until she finally dozed off in the hot midday sun.

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

Toshiro and Ichigo sliced off yet another piece of the hulking Hollow, both of them panting. This one just refused to give up on the ghost, who was currently cowering behind Rukia.

Rukia was guarding the soul, while the other three were taking on the Hollow. They had _assumed _four Soul Reapers - all of them kick-ass - would be enough.

Matsumoto managed to run up the length of the Hollow's arm, slicing it off at the shoulder. It let out yet another monstrous roar, making them all wince.

Its roaring was worse than when Matsumoto squealed in close range, which was most definitely saying something. Eventually, they managed to slice off the other arm and one leg, and Toshiro and Ichigo got the final strike on it, slicing it in half all the way through.

It fell to the ground, which shook in response and jostled the Reapers, then disappeared completely. Rukia was about to perform Soul Burial, but the ghost looked up at them all with pleading, electric-blue eyes.

"Please let me stay here," the little boy pleaded. "It's the happiest place I could ever be. My big sister comes here every year, to put flowers by where I died, so I get to see her again. _Please _let me stay.."

Ichigo looked at them all. Toshiro was struggling to keep a neutral face, Matsumoto had tears in her eyes, and Rukia's grip on her zanpakuto was faltering.

Ichigo sighed rather loudly and took Rukia's weapon out of her grip, dropping it on the ground. "Drop that thing, before you poke someone's eyes out."

He gave the ghost a 'sup nod. "Go ride some rides. You're safe for now."

The ghost gasped happily and hugged Ichigo around his waist. He patted the ghost's back a bit awkwardly, not quite used to being hugged by ghost kids yet.

He noticed that it was happening more and more lately, though.

The ghost had happy tears in his eyes as he gave Ichigo an appreciative nod and ran off, his bare feet kicking up dust as he went.

The Soul Reapers watched him go, and Toshiro sighed. "The Soul Society won't like that."

"The Soul Society doesn't have to know," was Ichigo's reply.

They split up after that, going to ride rides and such after hunting down their bodies. Apparently Ichigo was the only one who didn't think about bringing Kon, and everybody else had their Soul Candy with them.

Ichigo grinned after seeing Peyton fast asleep in the same exact spot he had left her in, then sweatdropped after noticing there was a mini-shrine set up.

People had placed a few random-ass flowers and such, and there was even a candle lit dangerously close to his hand.

He slipped back in his body, only to realize how totally wiped out he was. He scooted the candle away to a safe distance, then grinned as an idea hit him.

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

When Peyton started stirring, she realized she didn't hear many people milling around, and there were no more roars.

She slowly binked her eyes a few times, and as her sight adjusted, she realized the sun was setting already.

Where the hell was Ichigo?!

Unless..

Peyton scrutinized the body carefully. His chest wasn't moving up and down. Crap, he wasn't back yet.

Her knees were stiff from being drawn up so long, and she stretched them out. It was then she noticed a ton of stuff laid out in front of Ichigo.

She sweatdropped, trying to process what she was seeing.

"Boo!"

"AHHHH!!!!"

Ichigo busted out laughing, and she glared at him. "Not funny. I've been waiting here for _hours_! When did you get back?"

"About three...four? Maybe five hours ago."

"And you just _laid _there?!"

"I was exhausted!"

Peyton huffed. Now that she thought about it, she HAD woken up with her head on his shoulder, which meant he had somehow moved into an upright position, like she had.

Now that he was in his body, it made more sense.

Ichigo just rolled his eyes. "You're just jealous because I have all this stuff to take home with me."

Peyton stood up slowly, stretching towards the sky. "Oh yes, that's exactly it."

Something caught her eye, and she picked it up. It was a piece of paper that read, in glitter gel pen, "FEEL BETTER EE-CHEE-GOO!!"

She sweatdropped about three times. "...Ichigo?"

"What?"

She busted out laughing, holding out the paper to him. He stood up with a yawn and read it over, then his temple started throbbing.

"'Ee-Chee-Goo'? Who _are_ these people?!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**TWO ****HOURS LATER...**_

They could see the Port Orleans bus driver's sweatdrops all the way from by the gate. Then again, who WOULDN'T sweatdrop at the sight of two teens with arms full of papers, souvenirs, and candles, waddling like penguins for the bus, the gates closing behind them?

The security guards were laughing their asses off. Very professional.

"This...crap..is heavy as...well, CRAP!" Peyton commented between pants, to which Ichigo just laughed.

"Thanks for helping me carry it."

"I'm just that awesome."

"I know."

"Ha! Me too! Never knew we had so much in common."

"I _knew _I asked you out for a reason."

"That makes one of us."

They finally made it to the bus, and the driver just watched with wide eyes and a gaping mouth as Peyton climbed the bus, then plopped all the crap onto a three-seat row before taking some of the stuff Ichigo was carrying and plopping it down as well.

"...We seem to be very popular around here," Ichigo informed the driver, who just speedily shifted the bus into gear.

The bus lurched forward, and Ichigo simply held out an arm as Peyton practically flew forward.

He lightly pushed her back into her seat, and she sighed tiredly. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

She let out a half-laugh. "Trust me, there's a _lot _about today that I'm never mentioning to anyone else."

"Such as?"

"Well, the Hollow, obviously. And, uh...stuff."

Crap, now Ichigo was all interested. "_Stuff_? What kind of stuff? What'd I miss??"

"N-Nothing!" She said quickly.

He smirked. "Oh, wait. You must be too _nervous _to tell me," he said casually.

"...I'm not nervous! Tch," she said, waving the notion off.

"Uh-huh. _Suuuure _you're not."

"I'm not!"

"It's totally understandable if you are. My awesomeness can be quite intimidating."

"Fine, I'll tell you!! But you won't like it," she warned.

* * *

So, Peyton quickly explained what had happened between her and the Splash Mountain Lady.

When she finished, he blinked. Then he laughed. "That's it? I was expecting you two to get in a fight or something."

Peyton sweatdropped. "Nooo..."

Ichigo then smirked. "Ohhhh. _I _get why you flipped out. It's because she said I _looooooved _you!!"

Peyton crossed her arms with a moody huff, temple trobbing. "No. Why would that affect me in any way?"

"Tch, whatever, Peyton. I see you blushing."

"I'm not _blushing_!"

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not!"

"Then how come your voice is all high and weird? You only do that when you're embarassed. Which always makes you blush."

"I'm NOT embarassed, and I sure as hell am NOT blushing!!"

"Uh-huh."

"I'M NOT!!"

"Jeez, I agreed with you! SOMEONE has a guilty conscience," he said in a sing-song voice.

Peyton's temple throbbed again, and the bus driver sweatdropped. "They just HAD to sit in the front row..." He muttered to himself.

"Hey, just drive, dude," Peyton commented moodily.

Ichigo laughed again, and she turned her glare on him. "Hey, _you _just ride, Kurosaki."

He jumped into the seat next to her and put his face real close to hers. She felt her face heat up, and he laughed again.

"Ha, told you. You're blushing," he said before kissing her cheek.

He jumped back into his other seat right before she aimed for his huge orange head, and he laughed the rest of the way.

Peyton would have laughed too, but that would be a win for Ichigo, and she could NOT let that happen.

* * *

**(Me and Ichigo are currently sprawled out on the floor, cake all over our mouth, our stomachs huge) **

**Me: Ugh...I'm so stuffed, i don't even have the energy to comment on how totally cute that moment just was.**

**Ichigo: Yeah? Well, I'M so stuffed, i don't even have the energy to tell you to shut the hell up.**

**Me: that's like...like...umm...ummmm...**

**Ichigo: monumental?**

**Me: YEAH! That's the one!**

**Ichigo: this cake...is really...affecting our thinking..**

**Me: (sighs like a stoner) yeah, but...but it was totally....totally....uhhhhh.....ummmm...uhhhh..**

**Ichigo: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....worth it?**

**Me: YES, ichigo, YES!! im, uh....uh...p-proud! yeah, im proud of...of you.**

**Rukia: (sweatdropping, standing up in the corner, shakes head at our pathetic-ness) ...Review, while i go deflate these two dumbasses.**

**(Rukia then rolls us on our fat bellies towards a room, and we just groan)**


	28. Stuck On You

(Me and Ichigo are currently normal-sized)

**Me: Soo...We figured we're good on cake for three days, so if we get any more, we shall simply lock it up in a safe!**

**Ichigo: (looks at me like I'm crazy. Which, of course, I'm NOT) Tch. Whatever.**

**Rukia: (dangerous voice) Ichigo Kurosaki, I am NOT deflating you again.**

**Ichigo: (nervous laugh) ummm...Enjoy?**

* * *

Ichigo slowly opened the door, and they poked their heads inside. Isshin was passed out on his bed, snoring.

Peyton grinned. His dad had turned back the covers and left the lamp on on Ichigo's side. Ichigo noticed the look on her face and rolled his eyes.

"You chicks," he muttered.

Peyton gave him a look. "Hey, I don't HAVE to help you with all this stuff."

"Yeah, I know. You're too nice for your own good," he commented, carefully setting his armful of stuff down on the table.

Peyton raised her eyebrows. "Nice? What're _you_ smoking, Ichigo?!"

"You're nice, and you know it."

"Yeah, I'm nice, but not _extremely_ nice!"

"Uh-huh. Sure."

She smacked his arm lightly. "Stop saying it like that!"

"Like what?"

"All...sarcastic-y."

"Hey Peyton."

"Yo."

"Tomorrow's our last day here."

"I know. What's your point?"

"I was just saying."

She set her load down on the table as well, then sighed and sat on the edge of his bed. "I'm exhausted. Do you know how _draining_ it is to accept everyone's apologies about 'How sorry we are that your boyfriend died out of the blue. It's all over the park!'"

Ichigo laughed. "What did you say?"

"I said 'Yeah'. What else was I supposed to say?!"

"Thank you, maybe??"

"Well, I said that too."

"You didn't SAY you said that."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'm too tired to have rational thoughts."

He sweatdropped as she flopped down on his bed, covering her eyes with her hand.

"I can see that," was his simple reply.

It was quiet for a few minutes, and then he asked, right by her ear, "So...It really made you blush that she said I loved you?"

Peyton jumped and looked at him through the cracks of her fingers as he tried not to laugh too hard and wake up Isshin.

"..._No_."

"Peyton."

"Maybe a little."

"Chyeah, okay."

"Alright, alright, _yes_, it did! Happy now?!" She snapped tiredly.

He kissed her temple lightly. "More or less."

She made a wider slit through her fingers, peering up at him. Crap, he was a lot closer than she first thought. "What was that for?"

"I dunno."

The distance between them was so short, she couldn't help it; she leaned her head up and kissed him before flopping back down with a smirk.

"....And what was _that _for?"

She grinned and kissed him again, just to see him get all flustered again. "I felt like it. I told you, I'm too tired to have rational thoughts. Remember?"

He smirked. "Oh, no way."

"What?"

"Well, if I let you get away with that, you'd win. And you _know_ I hate it when you win."

She grinned, having a good idea of what he was doing. "...So...what're you gonna do about it?"

"Tch. What do you _think_ I'm gonna do?"

"Outdo me?"

"Of course."

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Daaaad, Yuzu had a bad...Oh, hey, you guys are back," Karin said casually. Normally, kids would be freaked out at this.

You know, if you brother was currently kissing his girlfriend on a hotel room bed. But knowing them, it was probably because Peyton did something stupid, and they got into another one of their "competitions".

Both teens jumped, bonking heads. "Owww."

Ichigo removed his hand from the side of her face, and Peyton sat up spastically.

They all sweatdropped as they heard the distinct sound of Isshin hyperventilating.

"...Karin...HOW COULD YOU?!!"

Peyton and Ichigo sweatdropped some more, and Karin's jaw dropped. "What?!"

"Things were going so _well_!!"

Ichigo rolled away from Peyton, a horrified look on his face. "Oh my God...Dad...Were you WATCHING US?!!?!?!"

_What._

_The. _

_FUCK?!_

To their immense relief, he shook his head miserably. "No no no, I just woke up. But I woke up in time to see what Karin was interrupting. One grandchild is just _too_ _much_ to ask for these days, I guess....Great, now I have to wait at _least_ one more Christmas.."

Isshin trudged to Karin and Yuzu's room to prove to Yuzu her nightmare was ONLY a nightmare.

Peyton and Ichigo stared at each other, sweatdropping.

"You know, for a minute, I was starting to never be able to see your dad the same way ever again."

* * *

Ichigo laughed, but still looked a little spazzy. Peyton scooted over and patted the space beside her. "Kurosaki, you're starting to look like a fish on ice over there."

"Could you imagine that? My dad, _watching_ us?!"

"No, but thanks for putting that lovely image in my head. Well, look on the bright side. All we were doing was kissing."

"...How is _that_ the bright side??"

"Well, considering we were kissing on a bed, I'm sure more perverted things could've been going on when Karin walked in here and your dad woke up."

He sat beside her, propped up on his elbows, and nodded slowly. "True, very true."

Peyton couldn't help it; she started laughing at his expression. That made him relax a little, and she kissed his cheek before heading for the door.

"Don't have any nightmares about the pervertedness," she warned.

"Nope, I'll probably have dreams about the scenarios you just put in my head of what _could've_ happened," he shot back with a smirk.

She abruptly turned her face to hide its redness. "Sounds good," she replied cheerfully, opening the door.

"I see you _blushing_!"

"SHUT UP!!"

_**BONK!**_

"Hey, that candle was heavy! Dammit, Peyton!"

She just laughed triumphantly and shut the door behind her.

* * *

"Peyton. Peeeeytttoonn?? WAKE THE HELL UP, DAMMIT!!" Rukia screeched.

Peyton blinked groggily. Her back felt fuzzy. "...What? What's going on?" She asked worriedly.

Rukia backed away slowly, a horrified look on her face. "_Don't_ panic, but there's a huge spider on your back."

"WHAT THE _FU_-"

"I SAID DON'T PANIC, DAMMIT!! YOU'LL SCARE IT, AND IT WILL SHOOT OUT SEMI-POISONOUS BARBS AT YOU!!!" Rukia shouted.

Peyton felt the spider flinch at the loud voice, and she bit back a whine. God, she was _terrified _of spiders...!!

Rukia continued to back away. "...I'm gonna go get Isshin or Ichigo. I'll be right back."

Peyton sweatdropped. "Why the hell would you wake me up before you got it off me, _knowing_ I would panic?!"

Rukia had already left. Peyton sighed rather loudly, and the spider scuttled lower on her back in response. "Well. This is just marvelous."

* * *

"OH MY GOD!!!"

Ichigo jumped and cursed. "Dammit, who's shouting?!"

He had just been in the middle of a really good and perverted dream, dammit.

Isshin pointed at Rukia, who looked totally mortified. "You're never gonna believe this, but a massive arachnid is currently crawling on Peyton's back!"

He stared blankly at her. "Rukia, it's too early to use big words with me."

"THERE'S A HUGE-ASS SPIDER ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S BACK, DUMBASS."

Ichigo shot into an upright position, then sweatdropped. "_How_ big is this spider, exactly?"

"HUGE."

"And by huge, you mean...?"

"Bigger than my fist huge."

Isshin perked up, yanking Ichigo out of bed. "Now's your chance, son! Save your woman!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes and headed for Rukia and Peyton's room.

He had been expecting something slightly large, but no big deal. But damn, the thing covered most of her fricking back!

"Holy crap," he said weakly.

He couldn't help but smirk as Peyton perked up at the sound of his voice. That happy feeling was ruined when she sweatdropped and said gloomily, "Oh. Great. Ichigo'll _never_ kill it!!"

His temple throbbed. "Well, gee, Peyton. Thanks. I'm definitely feeling the love."

Peyton sighed. "Ichigo, come on. We both know you're scared shitless of spiders."

Ichigo simply rolled up his sleeves and looked around. "Hey, Peyton."

"Yo."

"Where're your shoes?"

"The red-and-white bag by the bathroom door. At the top. DO NOT look below the top level of my bag," she warned.

Of _course _he dug through the bag, and he found something that made him turn red. He fought down the redness and decided this was the perfect time to get back at her.

"Hey, Peyton, what's _this_?" He asked innocently, holding it in her line of vision.

As expected, she turned so red that her hair looked brown in comparison. "Ohmigod, put that back!!" She hissed, trying not to scare the spider.

Ichigo waved it around a few times, trying to contain his snickering. "But what _is_ it?"

"Ichigo, you live with two sisters. I assume you know what it is."

"I don't."

"IT'S A DAMN TAMPON, NOW PUT IT BACK!!" She yelled dangerously.

He jumped and put it deep into the depths of her massive tote bag, laughing uncontrollably. "You're right, I knew what it was."

He pulled out a shoe he had never seen her wear and held it within her line of vision. She nodded her approval, and he crept towards the bug.

* * *

"Hurry up please," she whined.

"Shh! I don't want it to know I'm coming!"

"Like it'll actually _react_..." She trailed off as she felt the spider bristle, and her eyes grew to the size of saucers.

"GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF, GET IT _OFF_!!!" She screeched as she felt her back sting.

"I GOT IT, I GOT IT!!!" He shouted with a triumphant half-laugh, and she felt the shoe wham into her back so hard it knocked the wind right out of her.

She coughed, and pretended she HADN'T felt the spider squish.

Peyton slowly sat up, and Ichigo had a weird look on his face. "Wait, don't turn around yet. You've got some of the barbs on you."

"What kind of spider was it?" She asked carefully as he put a hand on her shoulder before yanking the first barb out; she winced.

"Tarantula."

"WHAT?!"

"Relax! It won't kill you, I promise."

"Says you. What the hell do _you _know about tarantulas?!"

"Karin had a phase in fifth grade where she had a pet snake and pet tarantula. I had to listen to her talk about it for, like, half an hour at dinner for a week," he explained while yanking out the barbs.

"...Oh. You're mean, you know that?"

"Oh, yes. I saved my girlfriend from a spider. I am truly a _terrible _person."

Peyton rolled her eyes. "I meant about the tampon."

"Hey, I think I _deserved _some payback!"

"Oh, and me having a spider crawl all over my back and attack me wasn't payback _enough_?!"

"Yeah, well, I didn't _know _it'd attack you."

Peyton just sweatdropped and shook her head, wincing some more as he pulled out the last of the barbs.

Then he snickered. "Ewww, it's all over your back. Looks like you're gonna have to take off your shirt."

* * *

"I know how much you hate that."

"Totally."

"That's why I'm gonna spare your eyes and do it in the bathroom, ALONE," she said cheerfully as she sprang up before flinching as a pain shot up her back.

Good thing she didn't grab the small of her back out of reflex; she was sure that the damn spider was probably hanging off the shirt or something.

Ichigo just crossed his arms moodily. "Tease."

Peyton just winked and shut the bathroom door in his face, locking it right as the handle turned.

"AWWWW!!"

"SHUT THE _HELL _UP, KARIN!! You know, I bet it was _your _old spider I just killed."

"SHUT UP!! YOU GINGERS HAVE NO SOULS!!"

"GINGERS _DO _HAVE SOULS!! RIGHT, PEYTON?!"

"HEY, I'M NOT A GINGER, MY HAIR'S _AUBURN_," She shouted through the door while slipping off her shirt.

"Dammit, you could've just said _yes_," Ichigo whined.

"Yes, but that would be helpful."

"Whatever, just hurry up."

"Sir yes sir!"

* * *

**Me: (shudders) I think I'm too creeped-out to comment on this chapter. Ugh, could you imagine? A TARANTULA?! Review, please...**

**Ichigo: (perks up) you're not gonna talk about the chapter? really?? oh good god, it's a fucking miracle!!**

**Me: (narrows eyes) ignore the soul-less ginger over there and REVIEW.**

**Ichigo: GINGERS DO HAVE SOULS, DAMMIT!!!**


	29. Smile

****

Me: (gloomy voice) hi, hey there, welcome back, enjoy.

**Rukia: (eye-roll) she''s depressed, and it's all ichigo's fault.**

**Me: (whining) wouldn't YOU be if that orange dumbass was the reason you were officially banned of cake for another week?! **

**Rukia: Yeah. I caught Ichigo sneaking the two of them cake a couple days ago.**

**Me: I KNOW THAT DIPSHIT.**

**Rukia: I KNOW, i was telling the READERS!!!! NOW who's the dipshit?!**

**Me: ignore her. Enjoy!**

* * *

"C'mon, little spider spider spider," Peyton cooed before sighing dully as the stupid creature went in the opposite direction she wanted.

She _really _hoped no one else woke up to see this; her crouched towards the door, holding a random glass against the carpet, trying to get a huge spider into it, and Rukia holding her cell phone excitedly.

She had been at it for almost two hours, and had to bite her lip to keep from cheering when it finally crawled inside.

Instead, she picked up the glass and headed for Ichigo and Isshin's room, laughing maniacally.

Rukia followed, giggling, phone ready to record.

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"OH MY GOD!!! ICHIGO, THERE'S A HUGE-ASS SPIDER ON YOUR BACK!!!!"

Ichigo snored extra loudly, and there were sweatdrops all around the room. Everyone but the aforementioned strawberry was up, ready to see Peyton's ultimate revenge in action.

Rukia huffed at the total lack of reaction to her shriek. "God, I thought for _sure _that would wake him up!"

Peyton simply held up a hand and headed for the side of his bed. "It's alright. Chill, Rukia. I _got _this."

She bent down towards him, making sure her hair tickled his face. Peyton eyed the spider on his back carefully, and could've sworn it was looking at her, but ignored the stupid thing anyway.

"IIIIIchigoooo?" She called in a soft and sultry voice by his ear.

He immediately responded with an _actual _response. "...Whoa, what was _that_? I wonder if I'm awake or still dreaming..." He muttered into the pillow.

Peyton quickly took a few steps back and pointed at his back. "OHMIGOD, ICHIGO!!! THERE'S A HUGE-ASS SPIDER ON YOUR BACK!!!"

Everyone else sweatdropped, since this was exactly what Rukia had said, then started laughing uncontrollably as he shot out of bed and started running around in circles.

"What the FUCK?!?! GET IT OOOFFFFFFF!!!!"

Karin handed Peyton a random bat, and they exchanged an impish grin.

She advanced towards the spinning and spastic Ichigo, who stopped when he noticed her.

He laughed nervously. "Umm...Peyton? What's that bat for??"

"Don't worry, this won't hurt. Much. Well, it won't _permanently damage you _or anything."

Everyone sweatdropped as Ichigo started jumping from bed to bed, avoiding his currently psychotic girlfriend.

"WHAT THE HELL?! STOP WATCHING AND HELP ME!!!" He shouted.

"Sorry, Ichigo. Youtube _needs _me to keep recording," Rukia replied casually.

"WHAT?!?! PEYTON, IF SHE PUTS THAT ON YOUTUBE, YOU'RE GONNA PAY!!"

"ICHIGO KUROSAKI, I AM CURRENTLY WIELDING A GODDAMN BAT!!! I WOULDN'T RECOMMEND THREATENING ME, DUMBASS!!!"

"STOP YELLING, YOU'RE FREAKING OUT THE SPIDER!!!"

"I THINK YOUR SPINNING AND GIRLISH SCREAMS ARE WHAT'S SCARING IT!"

"MY SCREAMS ARE NOT GIRLY, THEY ARE MANLY AND BROODING!!!"

"MANLY AND BROODING MY ASS!! NOW STOP JUMPING AND HOLD STILL, BEFORE IT BITES YOU!" Peyton shouted before finally whacking him across the back with the bat.

She had hit him while they were in mid-air, between beds, and he fell spastically to the floor while Peyton landed on the other bed rather gracefully.

She stuck her hands out in a surfer-like pose, eyes wide. "Whoa. That was, like, ....JEDI."

Ichigo groaned from the carpet as the spider simply crawled off his back and under Isshin's bed, totally unharmed. "Did...Did you get it, Peyton?"

"Totally. I _exterminated_ its ass," she said with a nervous laugh, looking at the camera-phone with a mischievous grin.

* * *

Rukia snapped the cell shut, and Isshin and his daughters clapped. "Beautiful! Magnificent!" Isshin cried out, heading for Peyton to hug her for her wonderful performance.

Ichigo jumped up and stopped him a few feet from Peyton, who sweatdropped. "Dad, no. Just no. She has to help me."

"Help you what?!"

"It bit me! LOTS of times!!"

"And Rukia or Yuzu can't help you?!"

"I don't wanna take my shirt off for _them_, are you kidding?!"

"You have _before_, idiotic son of mine!!"

"Well, I just want _Peyton_ to help me, alright?!"

They all gaped at him, impressed, as he dragged Peyton into the bathroom. Peyton was momentarily stunned into silence.

Momentarily, anyway.

"AWWWW..._Ichigo_, I'm flattered!!"

"SHUT UP PEYTON, BEFORE I GRAB THE DAMN BAT MYSELF!"

"Yes sir!"

* * *

"Will you hold still?! God!"

"You'd make a scary nurse," was Ichigo's reply as he leaned across the sink so she could get a good look at his back.

Peyton made a face and felt a chill. "Ew. It got you good. Like, five or seven times. Jeez, just _looking _at all of 'em makes me shudder!"

"Oh. Well, that's just..._awesome_. Hey, wait...'five or seven'? What the hell happened to six?!"

"I never liked the number six. I like seven better."

"Hey, Peyton?"

"What?"

"Why was six afraid of seven?"

Peyton stopped what she was doing (which would be finding any excuse to come anywhere near his abs) to give him a sarcastic look via the bathroom mirror.

"Really, Ichigo? REALLY??"

"Because seven ate nine! OHHHHH!!!!"

"Whoa-ho-HO! Pawnage!!"

"I know, I'm hilarious."

"Totally. No, seriously. Stop Ichigo. My sides. Too funny!"

"And hot."

"Sure."

"Ah-_ha_!"

Peyton rolled her eyes and crouched to look in the cabinets under the sink, smacking Ichigo's legs out of her way impatiently.

He rolled his eyes, but moved his legs anyway as she dug inside the cabinets furiously. Finally, she pulled out a First Aid kit with a triumphant smirk.

"Ta-da!"

"Oh my god, it's MAGIC."

"It's okay, Ichigo. It's okay to be amazed."

"Oh, I'm just blown away right now."

"Totally understandable," she replied cheerfully before finding some peroxide.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What're you doing with that? That stuff stings like hell!" He protested as he watched her reflection in the mirror.

She glanced up at their reflections. "The bites broke the skin."

"Duh."

"Yeah, well, unless you wanna have some weird reaction...Or y'know, DIE...I'd suggest you let me put some stupid peroxide on them."

He huffed and flicked his hand to and fro impatiently. "Fine, whatever."

Peyton rolled her eyes and dabbed some onto a cue tip. "Plus, y'know, you dying would kinda damper my day a little bit."

"Awwww. It would damper my day, too. I mean, I AM pretty awesome, aren't I? That's why you love me, I'm sure."

She practically stabbed his back with the cue tip, temple throbbing.

"OW!!"

"Don't be a dumbass. I can always get your loving father to come in here. Maybe give you The Talk while he's at it."

Peyton tried not to giggle as he immediately turned about five shades paler. She knew as well as he did that his dad had never given him The Talk, and Ichigo wanted to keep it that way.

"Fine."

"Good boy."

* * *

It was more or less quiet for a few moments. Well, except for Ichigo's wincing and "Ow"s every so often.

"Hey, Peyton?"

"Yo."

"It's gonna be so different when we get back."

"Whaddaya mean?"

"Well, for one thing, you'll probably need someone to taste your food for you to make sure it's not poisoned."

"I vote Ishihackaloogie," was her simple reply.

Ichigo laughed, then winced as she took on another spider bite. "I fully support that."

Silence.

"Hey, um, Peyton?"

"Oh, hello again. Haven't heard from you in a while."

He ignored that. "You sure you won't regret saying yes?"

Peyton glanced at his reflection. "Saying yes to what? Helping you with this? Trust me, if I were to be repulsed, it would've hit me about three minutes ago.."

"No, not that. I meant...me asking you out."

She paused, holding the cue tip carelessly, making the peroxide drip a little. "Where did _that _come from??"

He shrugged, and Peyton shuddered at the way it made the bites move across his skin. "Well..I mean, there's the video. And people are gonna think I die out of the blue a LOT. And then there's _your _fanboys and _my _fangirls. And _my _dad. And _your _dad. And your brother. And the guns they might possibly own. And...well, yeah," he concluded.

Peyton sweatdropped. "Well. Nothing can be done about the video. Once we get back to Karakura, you'll have Kon with you a lot more often, so you won't die _too _much. I'm pretty sure you can take my fans, and I can take _yours _with both hands behind my back. I'm used to your dad by now. What my dad and brother don't know won't hurt them OR you, and if they DO find out, it's nothing that my skills of persuasion won't fix. And the guns are usually in a safe, so I can always change the combination. And...well yeah," she concluded, mocking his voice at the end in a ridiculous tone.

He gave her that half-smile that always made the backs of her knees quivery, and she swiftly turned her gaze back to the spider bites.

"For the record, I don't sound anywhere even CLOSE to that."

"Says you."

"Yes, says me."

"Good thing I never listen to a word you say. _Aaaand_..Done," she announced before smirking at his reflection.

"Unless, of course, you want some Disney band-aids."

"Actually, I do."

Peyton rolled her eyes. "Personally, I think you just like my hands all over your back."

"You might be right."

"Whatever. Kiss-ass."

* * *

She put them on every bite before throwing the paper in the trash dramatically. "There. Now you have fricking Snow White, Aladdin, Stitch, Jasmine, Lilo, Dopey, and Cinderella on your back. They're watching you, Ichigo. Always watching. _Veeerryyy _carefully."

Ichigo grinned. "Cool, I have a picture of you on my back."

Peyton kind of thought he was talking about one of the princesses, but he followed his statement up with, "Dopey."

She huffed moodily and sweatdropped, making his smirk turn into snickering.

"See if I ever help _you_ when you need medical attention ever again!"

He continued smirking. "You know you wanna look at me."

"I could go my whole life without it."

"No you couldn't."

"I could _try_."

"Peeey-toonnn!"

"Nope."

"Fine."

"Fine what?!"

He gently turned her by her chin to face him before kissing her. She hadn't realized he was that close, and was STILL blinking in suprise after he pulled away.

He laughed at her expression. "Now, if you give your dad a look like that, with those brown eyes of yours, he'd let you hide a fricking _body _if you need to."

Peyton felt her stomach flip, but she simply smirked and slipped out of his grip. "Like I said, whatever. Kiss-ass."

Ichigo laughed and followed her out, ruffling her hair on the way.

* * *

**Me: I'm too depressed to comment on this chapp.**

**Rukia: I'm not! Awwww! That was cute! **

**Me: Did you post that on Youtube yet?**

**Rukia: (beams) of course!**

**Me: (brightens a little) awesome! Hey...wait...where the hell's Ichigo??!**

**Rukia: (waves me off) ehhh, time out chair.**

**Me: ...Er...What?**

**Rukia: the time-out chair. In the corner way over on the other side of the room. It's separated from this room by sound-proof glass. He can hear what WE'RE saying, but we don't have to listen to HIS annoying voice!**

**Me: Rukia, my dear, that's GENIUS!!!!!!**

**Rukia: I know. Review!**


	30. Closer

**Me: Wow, i just now realized...this chapp's _really _long..**

**Ichigo: Just get on with it!! Today's the day we can have cake!!**

**Me and Ichigo: YAY!!! (We then do the moonwalk as Michael Jackson's "Billy Jean" randomly comes on)**

**Rukia: (Sweatdrops, shakes head) Oh, dear GOD!!**

**Aizen: (randomly poofs in) You called?**

**-----(EVERYONE STARES IN WIDE-EYED SILENCE WITH SWEATDROPS AS THEY TRY NOT TO LAUGH AT HOW FUNNY THAT REALLY IS)-----**

**Rukia and Ichigo: HOLY SHIT!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE _YOU _DOING HERE?!**

**Aizen: Tch. Be that way, see if i give YOU any cookies.**

**Me: Screw your fucking _cookies_, we have HEAVENLY CAKE!!!!**

**Aizen: (Sniffles) ...Fine. No need to be mean. (randomly poofs away)**

**Me and Ichigo: (shrug and go back to moonwalking to Billie Jean while eating cake)**

**Rukia: EHHHH?!?!?! **

**Me and Ichigo: (all cheerful-like) REVIEW!!**

* * *

How was their last day?

Well first, they hit Blizzard Beach again.

Which was, of course, hilarious.

Toshiro and Ichigo did a race across the ice platforms, in which Toshiro cheated using his zanpakuto and ran off before Ichigo could demand a rematch.

Rukia and Matsumoto decided that since it was their last day, they needed to flirt all they could.

Peyton, of course, just watched them with plenty of sweatdrops at their epic wins and even more epic fails.

Peyton and Ichigo got to re-ride Summit Plummit, one at a time, without their lives in danger this time.

(But then when the Disney worker wasn't looking they went on it together again, just to see what would happen.)

After a few hours there, they went to Typhoon Lagoon, the second waterpark, and kind of just chilled for a few more hours.

Well, as chill as they could be while Peyton, Ichigo, and Toshiro tried to casually knock each other off their inner tubes.

Oh, and then there was that one part where everyone but Karin and Isshin were flipping out over the Snorkeling With Sharks portion Isshin convinced them all to swim in.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FOUR ****HOURS LATER...**_

"I can't believe of all the rides, we forgot Pirates of the Caribbean," she heard Ichigo comment behind her.

She had spent the rest of the day with Karin, Isshin, and Yuzu; it was only fair, she felt like she had spent most of the trip with everyone else.

So now she was wedged in the boat with all three of them; she had started off inbetween Karin and Yuzu, but right after they were out of the workers' sights, Isshin claimed he was "scared silly" and flipped over to sit by Yuzu and somehow managed to stretch his arm so he had a death grip on Peyton and Karin as well.

"Dead men tell no tales..." The creepy skeleton voice was now chanting.

Peyton bit back a laugh as Isshin started wiggling dramatically like a weird noodle once they were passing the skeleton, still turning the wheel of a wrecked ship.

Karin sweatdropped at her father, while Yuzu huddled closer to him with wide eyes. It was kind of cute, really.

"Dad, seriously, you're starting to freak out those kids in front of you," Ichigo commented dully from behind.

Everyone sweatdropped as they noticed two preteen boys staring with wide eyes and open mouths at Isshin's noodle-esque movements and incoherent babbling.

"He's _almost _creepier than the ride," The mother informed her husband as she forced the two kids to turn away.

Peyton's temple throbbed. "Yeah, well, so are your kids' haircuts," she informed the mother. Her friends snickered as quietly as possible while the mother glared at Peyton.

"Control your daughter," she hissed at Isshin. Isshin just beamed proudly, suddenly having total control over his limbs. "She's not my daughter....YET. She's soon to be my Daughter-In-Law!"

Peyton and Ichigo sank lower in their seats as Isshin proceeded to tell this random family all about their antics, leading up to earlier today.

"...So you see, according to this schedule of what times they seem to be the most romantic, I estimate my first grandchild will be conceived in a little over a year, maybe two and a half," he concluded, using a pointer to indicate something Peyton couldn't see on some chart.

The mom looked interested, the dad looked disturbed, and the two boys were making fun of Ichigo and Peyton, who were sitting slumped over in absolute humiliation.

"Dude..Ee-Chee-Go, is it? You're like...a fricking legend!" One told him. "You're my new hero," the other said in amazement.

They both gave Peyton a once-over at least five times during the ride. She tilted her head back to look at Ichigo at one point. "I have to wonder, though. How do you think he manages to carry all that random crap on his person?"

He sighed and shook his head. "I try not to think about dad's immense weirdness factor."

Everyone else were just laughing their asses off at both the ride and Isshin's presentation.

* * *

"Thank you so much for defending my honor, Peyton dear!!!" Isshin exclaimed as they moved on the conveyer incline, hugging her and lifting her off the moving strip.

Karin and Yuzu sweatdropped. "Dad, are you kissing up so you can have a grandchild soon?" Yuzu asked, her tone innocent. But Peyton and Ichigo could see the mischievous glint in her eyes, and both of them mentally cursed her. Several times, actually.

Isshin beamed at Peyton, who was currently gasping for air like that one retarded fish that would try and breathe air instead of water. "Of course not! ALTHOUGH, it _would _be a wonderful present...."

He abruptly set Peyton down, and Ichigo caught her, saving her from the humiliation of falling flat on her ass on a moving floor.

"Thanks." Before Ichigo could say or do anything else, Isshin whirled around to face them so fast that they both jumped with yells, making their friends sweatdrop.

"How about this! Son, Future Daughter-In-Law, if you conceive a child soon, it could be my present for Christmas, my birthday, Easter, Halloween, Thanksgiving, or _any _holiday, really! Whaddaya say?!"

Ichigo and Peyton sweatdropped several more times. "Umm..."

"It could be my present for SEVERAL YEARS' WORTH of holidays!!"

"Ehhhh..."

"I'LL PAY YOU BOTH!!!" He declared.

"We'll consider that," Ichigo said, making Peyton stomp on his foot.

"Ow!!"

"Oh, don't worry Peyton, it'll be plenty of money to compensate for anything that might come up! At least fifteen thousand!"

"Compensation for things that might come up?? Such as..?" Ichigo asked, making his girlfriend give him an offended look.

"The obvious things, son! The nine months of pure agony, the potential hours of miserable labor, the rough few months after the birth, oh, and you know, if you aren't good in bed, which meant it wasn't even _fun _for Peyton to try and conceive it-"

"Whoa, whoa, WHOA!!!" Ichigo exclaimed, doing the Wet Noodle Dance just like his father, except even more spastically.

Peyton just pointed at him and laughed. "KARMA!!"

"FOR WHAT?!"

"WELL, FOR _ONE _THING, PROMISING HIM A KID IN EXCHANGE FOR MONEY, DUMBASS!!!"

"HEY, I NEVER _PROMISED _ANYTHING!!! Oh, speaking of which, where the hell are you going to get all this money?" Ichigo asked abruptly.

Peyton held up a hand and made a weird noise as if to say "WHAT did I JUST say to you?!"

Isshin waved the question off. "Karin's savings account."

Karin, who had been following this disturbing conversation with lots of sweatdrops like everyone else within a five-mile-radius had been doing, now backed against the wall.

She then proceeded to do what Peyton would call from then on the Offended Dance. "W-W-WHAT?!?!?!"

* * *

Isshin sighed exasperatedly. "You didn't plan on going to college anyway, remember?!"

"What the hell gave you that idea?!"

"You said you wanted to be a tattoo artist a few months ago!!"

"That was a phase!! Besides, tattoo artists need a degree too, dumbass!!"

"Well, EXCUSE your wonderful and loving father for wanting grandchildren before he retires and can no longer dote upon them as he did for his own children!!!!"

"DON'T PULL _THAT _CARD!!!" Ichigo and Karin exclaimed at once.

"Whatever has gotten _into _you children?! Your _mother's _biological clock was ticking fast! Son, you have to act while Peyton's ability to conceive is still high!"

"Are you giving Ichigo permission to _not _use protection, Mr. Kurosaki??" Toshiro asked casually with his head cocked to the side, to which Ichigo did his Spazzy Wet Noodle Dance again.

"TOSHIRO, WHAT THE HELL!!!"

"IT WAS A LEGITIMATE QUESTION!!"

"ALL OF YOU, ENOUGH ABOUT ME AND MY ABILITY TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE NEXT YEAR OR SO!!!!!!!" Peyton finally shrieked.

Everyone froze in fear of her angry tone, which resulted in her and her friends spazzing out and falling in a heap once they reached the abrupt end of the moving floor.

The people behind them sweatdropped and simply stepped over them. "Ichigo?"

"Yes, Peyton?"

"For the record, fifteen thousand would've been plenty."

"I thought so, too."

"Are you offering, son?!"

"HELL NO!!!!"

Isshin sniffled. "..Okay."

Peyton couldn't help it, he looked so crushed. "Maybe, Isshin. MAYBE."

"Oooh, Peyton, this is the best gift you could possibly give me this Christmas! Hope!"

"So..Does that mean I don't have to buy you anything?"

"Absolutely! Your mere presence and the bright glimmer of hope that my son will soon have a wife and child I can play with after my retirement is greater than _any_ store-bought gift!"

Everyone but Ichigo and Peyton sweatdropped; they just exchanged a smug grin. "Cool."

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE HOURS LATER****...**_

They were coming later for an after-hours Christmas party throughout the park, which would only be open to exclusive guests like themselves, so they decided to ride a few rides that wouldn't be open that night due to the chill in the air.

Namely Splash Mountain.

They took the best two pictures in Splash Mountain history, and the dude and chick Disney workers on duty at the time still swear by that.

In the first one, they were positioned as follows:

In the front row, Yuzu and Isshin were giving each other sneaky bunny ears, like Ichigo and Peyton had done the first time they ever rode it.

In the second row, Toshiro was positioned between Peyton and Matsumoto. He had a pimp look about him, his arms wound around them both. Peyton and Matsumoto had flirty smirks on their faces. (Isshin teased Ichigo about this for hours on end).

Rukia was in the back with Karin. Rukia had her hands clapped onto the sides of her face in a goofy "Scared Shitless" pose. Karin was looking at them all with a sweatdrop, complete witch a classic "WTF" look on her face.

Rukia scolded Karin about THAT for hours on end, because Karin had originally been instructed to make the "Scared Shitless" pose with her so she wouldn't look like a dork.

Ichigo, however, decided to be a smart-ass, and calmly told Rukia, "Oh, don't worry, you don't look like a dork. You look like a total NOOOOOOOOB!!!!"

And Peyton refused to help him as Rukia chased him around for a good fifteen minutes without slacking.

* * *

The second picture was a bit better.

This time, Isshin and Karin were in the back. Karin had been threatened by her father that if she didn't do the classic "Scared Shitless" pose with him, he'd take away her allowance for a month.

Needless to say, they both did that pose, and Karin looked to be the most passionate about it. Which, considering Isshin was her sidekick, was really saying something.

Matsumoto, Toshiro, and Yuzu were in the middle. Toshiro and Yuzu were doing goofy two-thumbs-up at the camera, complete with wide toothy grins. Strangely, that had been Toshiro's idea. Scary, isn't it?

Matsumoto had gone with a Marilyn Monroe-esque pose. She had one hand ruffling the side of her strawberry-blonde hair, which was whipped around her face in a truly mesmerizing way, and completed the pose by winking at the camera with her usual flirty smile.

Peyton and Ichigo had done the most epic thing ever. Just to freak Rukia out, they kissed right on cue, and the camera got the perfect shot of it. The "OMG-No-_Way_-Did-They-Just-Do-That" look was still fresh on Rukia's face.

Of course, she pouted about _that_ for a while, too. "I fail to see how this is everyone's favorite. I didn't get to pose!"

"Exactly," Ichigo, Peyton, and Matsumoto muttered in perfect unison before flashing innocent smiles at the homicidal Rukia.

"I thought you posed wonderfully," Toshiro announced with that georgous smile of his. Rukia beamed all the way to Thunder Mountain.

Everyone, Isshin included, just muttered, "Kiss-ass."

* * *

Everything had gone smoothly on Thunder Mountain until they went through the mine the second time. Peyton always hated that part, because it was always so fricking noisy; the ambiance consisted of drills and such to make it sound like an actual mine, it was annoying as hell.

So, of COURSE, _that's _the part the ride froze on. Everyone just kind of sat there silently, and Toshiro finally asked what most of them were thinking to themselves at the time.

"Umm...Is this a new twist on the ride??"

Everyone burst into nervous laughter, and Peyton sighed. Karin nodded. "I know, right? This is my least favorite part of the whole damn ride, of COURSE they stop here."

"Same!"

"Me too!" Yuzu chimed.

"Ahhhh, I'm so glad my daughters can bond with their future daughter while we're stuck!" Isshin gushed.

Everyone- not just their group, but EVERYONE- turned to look at him and shouted "SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT THAT!!!"

Peyton and Ichigo snickered. Isshin slumped in his seat, sighing dramatically. "Fine. I guess I'm the _only _one who cares about my son and future daughter's future!"

"Yes, you are," Karin replied smoothly.

Isshin put a hand to his forehead in dismay, and Peyton high-fived Karin under the bar across their laps, where Isshin couldn't see.

* * *

It turned out that it was NOT part of the ride. The upside? They got to see the inside of the massive ride, which was pretty fricking awesome.

Peyton suddenly had a realization in there as she saw Rukia videoing the tour. She poked Ichigo repeatedly, to which he swatted her hand away. "What the hell's your problem, Peyton?!"

"Ichigo, I know who videoed us!!!" She exclaimed. They both stared daggers at Rukia, who noticed them and laughed nervously. "Ummm...I know this _looks _bad..."

She then tried to run off, and tripped over a randomly-placed bucket. Ichigo sweatdropped as he plucked her out of the bucket, both him and Peyton dangling her above the ground by her ankles.

"Talk, Midget."

She pointed an accusing finger at everyone else. "THEY ALL HELPED!!" She screeched.

Peyton and Ichigo both turned slowly to look at everyone, dropping Rukia and ignoring her "OW!!"

"You all did?? Really??"

They blinked innocently; everyone else, including the Disney worker, stopped and sat on crates, watching with interest."Dammit, that hurt," Rukia muttered as she rubbed her head. Everyone ignored her.

Yuzu was the first to crack. "Me and Karin took the picture of Ichigo and snuck it into your room with Rukia's help!!" She wailed, to which Karin tried to cover Yuzu's mouth spastically. It was too late.

Ichigo pointed triumphantly at Peyton. "Ha! TOLD you I didn't give you that damn picture!!"

"Whatever. Alright, everyone. 'Fess up, before I _make _you," Peyton threatened, the background turning very ominous and threatening.

They whole group cringed fearfully.

"We all pitched in that night Ichigo asked you out, after you two fell asleep. We all had taken random videos of your fights, they were like the highlights of our whole trip. So we just put them all together into an epic video, and Rukia suddenly decided we should post it on YouTube, so we did," Matsumoto explained quickly.

Peyton and Ichigo's temples throbbed dangerously.

"If I didn't feel I should thank you for doing all that stuff that led to us getting together, I would _let _Ichigo kill you right now," Peyton informed them as she held Ichigo back by his shirttail.

He struggled spastically against her grip. "Dammit, Peyton, lemme at 'em!!"

"NO. Being arrested would kinda damper my trip, Ichigo!!!"

"_You_ wouldn't be arrested, _I_ would!!"

"Well, _that'd_ be bad too!"

"You DO care!"

"Well, yeah. We both know I'd end up having to bust your ass out, and that's way too much trouble."

Ichigo drooped. "Seriously, Peyton. You should stop being so sappy. Your words are just dripping with love."

"It's a gift!" She replied cheerfully as Yuzu and Karin grabbed her by both hands and sped away, wanting to have some alone time with her before the trip was over.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****HOURS LATER...**_

Everyone was buzzing with excitement as they got off the monorail that ran throughout Magic Kingdom and Epcot.

They had gone back to their hotels and changed into some warmer clothes. Well, all except Peyton.

Rukia decided to get revenge for being dropped on the head so violently earlier, and waited until Peyton had put on her shorts and tank top before shoving her outside and locking her out.

The end result was that Peyton now felt like an idiot and people kept looking at her weird. She was wearing her new Goofy shorts; they had faces of Goofy and random other characters in uneven rectangles of bright colors.

Oh, and did she mention these shorts were more like boxers, and ended about six inches from her knees?

Oh, and her tank top was lime green and insanely thin. Yeah, she had done just SPLENDID in her judgement!

"Why don't you just buy a jacket or something from one of the stores?" Toshiro asked. "Be-CAUSE, I spent all my money on Christmas presents," she grumbled moodily.

"Hey, look on the bright side!" Matsumoto chirped as she handed Peyton a plastic Mickey cup. "At least you get some hot chocolate to warm you up."

Of course, right as Matsumoto said that, Peyton burnt her tongue like an idiot. She simply winced and said, "Thanks."

Rukia laughed somewhat maniacally.

_**BONK!!**_

"OUCH!!!! DAMMIT, ICHIGO!!!"

"Awwww, Ichigo stood up for me!"

"Don't push your luck, Peyton."

"Sorry."

"Apology accepted."

* * *

That night the cutest thing ever happened. Ichigo and Peyton had been laughing their asses off as Matsumoto attempted to teach Toshiro how to dance to Crank That, and had just started a random straw-paper-swordfight after he tried to eat one of her chicken nuggets, when there was a tug on Ichigo's shirt.

They both stopped their epic battle to see who it was, and Peyton grinned. It was a cute little girl, all dressed up. Her dark brown curls were flying everywhere, and there was a pair of Minnie ears on her head, complete with mistletoe.

She was wearing a Minnie dress with mistletoe on it, leggings underneath, and yellow shoes, JUST like Minnie's.

"You were the boy who wrote that letter to Dakota and talked about it at that parade a few days ago, right?" She asked in the cutest voice ever.

"Umm...Yeah.."

Peyton rolled her eyes at his tone.

She blinked up at him. "Is that Dakota?"

"Yes...Well, actually her name is Peyton. I made up a different name so she wouldn't know it was her, but she knows now."

"Ohhh.." She looked from Peyton, who smiled, to Ichigo again. "Do you think Peyton would let you dance with me?"

_AWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!_

"Uhhhh.."

Peyton nudged him under the table with her foot and pointed spastically for the dance floor. "GO!!!" She mouthed.

The little girl was tugging on his shirt again, bouncing with excitement and anticipation, her rosy cheeks turning rosier. Finally, he sighed and grinned at the kid.

"I don't think Peyton cares. Sure, I'll dance with you."

The way that little girl's blue eyes widened made Peyton go "Awwww" out loud that time, and Ichigo rolled his eyes.

"You chicks, you always-" He never got to finish that sentence, because the girl pulled him along into the crowd, bouncing as she went.

Peyton watched (and videotaped) them slow-dancing, then as the girl convinced him to do the Chicken Dance with her.

When they finished, about eight or nine girls bombarded Ichigo with praise about how "sweet and hot" he was, but to his credit, he made a straight shot for Peyton and simply nodded at them or said "Thanks". No matter how big their boobs were (which were pretty damn big for some of them), or how much prettier and brighter their eyes were compared to Peyton's chocolate brown ones.

This made her proud. Very proud, indeed.

She handed him three of her five remaining nuggets. "You earned 'em," was all she said as she took a gulp of her drink to hide her smile as he waved to the little girl, who was currently leaving.

"Bye Ee-Chee-Go!!"

"Bye Amanda," he said with another half-wave. Peyton could hear Amanda telling her mom and sister all about how awesome Ichigo was as they left, and her smile grew.

"That was by far the sweetest thing I've ever seen you do," she commented. "Not saying much, but still," she added thoughtfully, which made his proud smirk fall right off.

_**

* * *

**__**AN ****HOUR LATER...**_

"Where the HELL is he?!" Peyton asked for about the eightieth time. Rukia and Yuzu rolled their eyes. "Shut UP, Peyton!"

"The guy's not bionic, you know," Rukia pointed out. Peyton crossed her arms moodily. "I could _easily _go right around the corner, get his stupid hot chocolate, and come back in _under ten minutes_. He's been gone for_ half an hour_!"

"I think you're just being bitchy."

"Maybe I wouldn't be so bitchy if you hadn't made me FREEZE TO DEATH tonight!!!" She retorted, to which Toshiro cocked an eyebrow at Rukia, who laughed nervously.

"Well, you see what had HAPPENED was.."

Peyton attempted to tune them out, and didn't have to try too hard, because Ichigo finally showed up.

She noticed he had a bag.

"I didn't know they sold hot chocolate by the bag-fulls," she commented suspiciously as he sat down.

"Yep. New policy."

She looked at her simple plastic cup. "Well, _I _feel ripped off."

He rolled his eyes and handed her the bag, which nearly made her spill her drink because she was in such a hurry to tear through it.

Inside was a jacket, leggings, and...tampons??

Peyton was impressed and a bit disturbed all at once. "How did you know??"

"You're covered in goosebumps."

"No, I meant about the..._other_."

"Oh, the _tampons_??"

"COULD YOU TALK _ANY _LOUDER ABOUT THEM?!"

Ichigo just grinned proudly. "Yeah, I could, but I'm too awesome to do that to you. I noticed the way you were digging through your pockets earlier. You had that same look on your face Karin got once when she forgot to bring some of hers."

"What look would that be?"

"The OH-SHIT-OH-SHIT-I'M-SO-SCREWED look."

In a way, she was touched. He had just done something not many guys dared to do: a tampon run. And he bought all this with his own money, too.

Peyton hopped up and kissed the top of his head happily before practically sprinting for the nearest bathroom.

"THANK YOOOOUUU!!!" She threw over her shoulder. Now she could stop using that stupid toilet paper as a pad!

* * *

When she came back, she felt about twenty degrees warmer. The hot chocolate made her even _warmer_.

And then they brought out the snow. It wasn't real snow, exactly, but it wasn't just bubbles or anything, either.

If it hadn't been quite as numbing as your average snow, Peyton would've thought it was real. It sure as hell was cold enough.

So then Ichigo tried to be all secretive and get closer to her, and she felt even _warmer_. By the time the parade started, she was so warm that she was probably skimming fever temperatures.

And if all that weren't enough to convince her that today was a good day, she fell asleep on the bus with her head on Ichigo's shoulder and his arm around her.

And he didn't screw it upwith a smart-ass comment or anything, he was just as exhausted as she was.

So, yeah. That was a pretty cool last day.

**

* * *

**

**Me: Ho. Ly. _Shit_!**

**Rukia: i KNOW! Who would've thought ICHIGO of all people would endure a tampon run, without even being ASKED?!**

**Me: oh, no, not that, i saw that coming eventually. That little girl had the same name as me!!**

**Ichigo: Yeah, but SHE was cuter, and YOU like to go by Mandy.**

**Me: (widens eyes innocently and pouts in a rather adorable fashion) Ee-Chee-Go, would you PWEASE do the Chicken Dance with me??**

**Ichigo: (eventually sighs and stands up) i can NOT believe I'm doing this. **

**Me: YAY!!**

**Rukia: (watches us do the dance, eye twitching) ....Wow. He is SUCH a bad-ass...!!**

**Rukia Still: (shakes head at our stupidity) ....Review.**


	31. When It Rains

**Me: Well. True to our word, we have NOT let the cake go to our heads!**

**Rukia: (looks pointedly at the insanely fat and passed out Ichigo) ....I wouldn't say WE..**

**Ichigo: (from his position amidst a sea of cakes) Ughghghgnnnnghghhhh....**

**Me and Rukia: (sweatdrops and eye twitches) Um...Enjoy.**

**

* * *

**When Peyton and Ichigo entered homeroom on Tuesday morning, it was...surreal.

The whole room filled with cheers, applause, groans, sighs of disappointment, wailing, and "GET SOME!"'s.

Peyton and Ichigo sweatdropped, and Renji sidled up to them. "What's everyone so riled up about?"

They gaped at him. "You mean you don't know?" Peyton asked in disbelief.

He slowly shook his head. "Nope. Whenever I ask, they just point and laugh at me." Ichigo suddenly nudged her with a sly grin. "Hey, uh, Renji. You still wanna do that bet?"

Renji scoffed as if Ichigo were the dumb one. "About how twenty-five bucks says you won't publicly plant one on Peyton? Hell to the yeah!"

Peyton gave Ichigo one of her "OHHHHHHHHH, okay!" looks. She then smirked at Renji. "Make it thirty bucks each, and we might consider it."

"Done!" He said almost instantly, eager for any opportunity to cause Ichigo's public humiliation. Renji dished out sixty bucks, and they both took their share with smug grins.

"Hey..._wait _a minute..Are you guys-"

"Oh no, too late," Peyton commented right before Ichigo kissed her while flipping Renji off. The noises that had been set off with their arrival came back briefly at this, and Renji's jaw hit the floor.

"EEEHHHHHH?"

She merely smirked, counting her money and heading towards Tatsuki and Orihime. "Cool, I'm going out with a multi-tasker. He can kiss me _and _flip off idiots all at once!"

While her two classmates pumped her for information, the room continued to buzz. Right as Rukia and Matsumoto walked through the door, Ichigo and Renji started battling, and both girls sweatdropped as Renji flipped in mid-air right in front of them and knocked over a row of desks.

"...Oh. Welcome back, Rukia!" He said with a casual wave.

Everyone sweatdropped again, and Ms. Ochi cleared her throat from the doorway. "If you're all done..."

She then scurried up to Ichigo and dragged him over beside Peyton. "I would like a couple autographs, and my eldest daughter wants a picture!"

Both teens sweatdropped about three more times. Peyton sighed and pulled out her ever-present lime green Sharpie.

"Could it be extra-credit for that physics test I failed three Thursdays ago?"

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****HOURS LATER...**_

"So you see, quadratic expansion is actually quite easy once one gets this basic formula," their math teacher was explaining as she pointed to the "basic" formula, which covered almost three-fourths of the dry-erase board.

They were all in the process of copying the massive, confusing equation when Rukia let out a distinct "Holy SHIT!"

Peyton glanced her way, just in time to see her duck under her desk. She raised her eyebrows at Rukia, who pointed frantically at the door.

Standing there was a...whoa, is that a _guy_?

Whoever it was rapped rather harshly on the door, and their math teacher took one look at him and lunged to open the door.

"Why, _hellooo _there!" Ms. Musaki and several girls exclaimed at once.

"Shit, it's Byakuya!" Renji hissed.

Ichigo, who hadn't been paying attention earlier, now cried out in total unison with Peyton.

"HOLY SHIT!"

"LANGUAGE, watch your _language _Cullen, Kurosaki!"

She had heard about Rukia's foster brother, but he was even more...Byakuya-ish than she thought.

"I would like to see Renji for a moment," he said in a dangerous voice.

Renji gulped and stood up, and Peyton noticed his knees were shaking a bit. Ichigo whistled the Funeral March innocently, and Renji smacked him upside the head with a resounding _**THUNK**_.

"Ouch, dammit!"

After he followed Byakuya, who went out of everyone's view, Ms. Musaki continued the lesson.

"So, as I was saying before that _god _of a man stepped in..."

She trailed off as they heard thwacking noises, complete with shouting from Byakuya and groans and screeching from Renji.

Ichigo and Peyton started laughing while everyone else was concerned about Renji's safety.

So, for the next three minutes or so, they just listened, the equation long forgotten.

Ms. Musaki ran away from the door right before Byakuya swung it open and threw Renji back into the classroom, making him land flat on his ass.

"I hope you take great heed to what I have told you," he said simply.

His gaze flitted to Peyton and Ichigo. "Job well done, Kurosaki," he said a bit suggestively.

They both turned bright red as he took his leave. Ichigo leaned towards Renji, who had now taken his seat beside Peyton.

"What the hell _happened_?"

"He mentioned something about reading about me and Rukia having an 'encounter' in the bushes after school...He mentioned some site, like....filling-fiction?"

"Fanfiction," Ichigo muttered under his breath.

"What?"

"N-Nothing!"

* * *

Everyone at home knew about the video and such. Well, everyone _except _her dad. She was currently doing all of Seth's chores so he wouldn't tell him about it.

She'd rather Ichigo stay _alive_, thanks.

Needless to say, it was a bit tense at dinner. "So, how was the trip?" Dad asked cheerfully.

"Ummm....good!"

"I'm sure it was _reeeally good_ for you, P," Seth commented.

"Wasn't it HOT?" Lindsay asked suggestively. Even _Miya _was downing her drink to keep from laughing at the expression of her almost-stepdaughter.

Peyton (whose face really _was _hilarious-looking, just saying) simply nodded happily. "Yeah, it _was_ pretty..._steamy_ there," she answered.

"OW!"

"OUCH, DAMMIT!"

"What the hell's _wrong _with you two?" Dad asked worriedly as Lindsay and Seth suffered a couple brutal kicks under the table from their youngest sibling.

"Maybe they're just tired," Peyton said innocently, rolling her peas around on her plate.

_

* * *

_

_ENTRY #....SOMETHING._

_There's only one thing I can say about my lack of writing in this thing: My life is so unexpected, it's scary. _

_I doubt diaries can log onto YouTube, so I imagine you haven't seen the video._

_Long story short, me and Ichigo are sort of a "thing" now._

_It's kinda creepy, actually. I've had so much random crap happen to me because of it..._

_I signed so many autographs today that it makes my hand hurt. In fact, I should probably stop writing this. I don't want juvenile arthritis!_

_Later._

_**

* * *

**_

_**ENTRY # WHO-GIVES-A-SHIT:**_

_**Holy crap. Holy crap. I asked Peyton out in Disney World.**_

_**Did I mention HOLY CRAP?**_

_**Just checking. Now there's only one problem.**_

_**I need to beat Seth at all costs. Ever since we got back, which was a grand total of eighteen hours ago, he's been really smooth around Orihime.**_

_**Y'know, since they're going out and everything. And every time he shows how much of an "Awesome Boyfriend" he is, he looks right at me and smirks.**_

_**He's CHALLENGING ME, dammit! **_

_**ME!**_

_**Therefore, the only solution is to be a better "Awesome Boyfriend" than he is!**_

_**Which shouldn't be too hard. I mean, I 'm naturally awesome, soooo...**_

_**Yeah. This causes for serious kissing of Peyton's ass.**_

_**...Well, not LITERALLY, but...oh, awkward..**_

_**Yeah, I'm just gonna stop writing now.**_

* * *

It was so weird how people were actually _watching _her one-on-one matches against Toshiro.

Well, there had always been a neighborhood kid or two, but now there was a whole cluster of people.

Among which were Seth and Orihime, placing bets on who would win.

After Toshiro _finally _stopped demanding a rematch, they walked off the field together, and Ichigo popped up out of nowhere.

"You always look so _beautiful _after kicking Toshiro's ass in his own game," he commented. Peyton froze mid-step. "Um...Thank you?"

He handed her some flowers, which made her start panicking. "Holy crap...Who died?"

Ichigo sweatdropped. "I do something nice for you, and you immediately assume someone _died_?"

"Well...No, seriously, if someone died, it's best to just tell me straight away, or I'll worry so much that I faint and/or throw up, not necessarily in the order. It's not a pretty sight."

Ichigo laughed. "No, seriously, everyone's still alive as far as I know."

"Oh. Well, then...thank you?"

"No problem."

As they walked off, she noticed Seth glaring at Ichigo.

_Hmmm.._

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****DAYS LATER...**_

"If I get struck by lightning, I'm blaming you," she commented, painfully aware that her hair was sticking almost completely on end due to all the electricity near them.

"Peyton, lightning hardly ever touches down in Karakura. The odds of us getting hit are a million to one."

"Whatever. You say that NOW."

"I'll be saying it when I go home and we're both still alive, too!"

She waved him off. "Fine, whatever you say."

Ichigo abruptly moved in front of her and planted both hands on her shoulders. "Whoa, wait a minute. You just let me win an argument. Something's wrong."

Peyton sweatdropped. "I just now realized how competitive we really are..."

"You're changing the subject."

She sighed and glanced up as the rain picked up. "The in-laws and my grandparents are meeting for the first time tonight. I've got about five hours until they all converge on Karakura and total _chaos _ensues."

Ichigo looked up too, deep in thought. "Huh. Can _I _be there?"

Peyton tore her eyes away from the darkening sky, and he looked right back at her. "Ichigo, are you fricking suicidal?"

He rolled his eyes and pulled her along, heading for her house. "You're so damn dramatic. If I can handle all I've handled so far, I _think _I can handle your family. Unless, of course, they're Hollows or something. Then I'd have to dispose of them..."

"You can dispose of Seth, if you like."

"Good, then I'd win!"

"...Win what?"

He paled. "Uhh...Nothing, absolutely nothing!" He said with a nervous laugh. Peyton planted her feet on the ground stubbornly, glaring at him.

"Ichigo Kurosaki, you better tell me what the hell you would win _right _now or I _swear_, I'll-"

He kissed her abruptly, and for a minute she forgot what they were talking about as he pulled her closer.

But then she remembered and pulled away. "No no no, tell me, dammit!" She stepped a good five feet away from him smugly.

"Aw, _Peeyttoooon_..!"

"Ha! Nope! Now you can't do anything to distract me! Spill, Kurosaki."

Of course, almost as soon as the words were out of her mouth, a random bolt of lightning hit Ichigo full-on, and he flew back a little.

"Holy crap. ICHIGO, ARE YOU OKAY?"

Peyton ran towards where he was laying; he had a couple burns on his arms, but nothing serious. How was that possible?

She brushed his hair back absently. "Ichigo? Hello? Can you hear me?"

There was silence, then his eyes opened just a little. She noticed they were shockingly lighter; yellow, actually.

They finally focused, landing on Peyton, and a rather unsettling grin spread onto his face.

"How the hell are you still alive? I mean, I know you're a Soul Reaper and all, but..."

He gave her a rather puzzling answer.

"Do you _honestly _think I would let my host die?"

**

* * *

**

**Me: Holy shit. Is that...**

**Rukia: (wide-eyed) Yeah, it is. Review.**


	32. When I Get Home, You're SO Dead

**Me: Wow, this is gonna be interesting.**

**Rukia: Shut the FUCK up! I wanna know if we need to intervene or not!**

**Me: ...FINE, Ms. P-M-S-PANTS! Enjoy.**

* * *

Peyton blinked at him. "Um...What?"

His strange grin grew. "You seem to speak perfect English. I'm pretty sure you understood me."

"Well, yeah, but-"

"Then what's the problem, short stuff?"

"Well- Hey, wait...WHAT did you just call me?"

He moved into an upright position, making them nearly nose-to-nose, and repeated the phrase slowly and deliberately. "SHORT. STUFF."

_**BAM! POP! THWACK! THUD!**_

"GODDAMMIT, WHAT THE HELL'S YOUR PROBLEM?"

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME SHORT STUFF, ICHIGO KUROSAKI, WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS!"

Ichigo groaned and rubbed the back of his head, which was one of the many targets of her retaliation. "Tch. Figures. _I_ get the blunt of your brute force on behalf of that Kurosaki kid."

Peyton's eyebrows shot up. "Umm..Ichigo? Maybe we should get you checked out. Isn't your dad a doctor?"

His strange new grin returned. "Oh, that's right. He never told you, did he?"

"Who's this 'he' person? Seriously, Ichigo, you're starting to freak me out a little."

"I'm not your boyfriend, dipshit! I'm his Hollow!"

Peyton's eyes widened a fraction, and she fell back onto her butt. "No way. _Ichigo's_ not a _Hollow_. Are you?"

"I'm _not_ Ichigo Kurosaki! Jeez!"

"Well then who the HELL are you?"

"What a dumbass question. I am me."

"Oh. Thanks _so much_ for that nugget of wisdom, Confucious. Now, cut the shit. Get Ichigo back!"

"Hmmm....No."

"Please?"

"Oh, sure!"

"...Really?"

"HELL NO, MORON!"

Peyton smacked him upside the head again. "Watch your tone with me! Whether you're in Ichigo's body or not, I won't hesitate to kick your ass right out of it," she growled.

He grinned again. "Wow, no wonder he likes you so much. You sound _really _sexy when you growl."

Her temple throbbed, and she kicked him as she stood up.

"Ow! God-DAMMIT, BITCH, THAT WAS A COMPLIMENT!"

"Just get up and get Ichigo back, bastard!"

"NO!"

They glared at each other, and finally, Peyton sighed. "Well, if you ARE Ichigo's Hollow...How come I've never seen this happen before?"

He waved her off. "The asshole got better at repressing me. But thanks to this whole lightning-strike bit, _I _can have some control for a spell."

He waggled his eyebrows. "And some fun."

Peyton sweatdropped and hit him again.

"DAMMIT, ICHIGO WON'T LIKE ALL THESE NEW BRUISES ANY MORE THAN I DO RIGHT NOW, BITCH!"

"WELL, THAT'S TOO DAMN BAD!"

Ichigo- wait, NOT Ichigo- tugged her along, and she twisted in his grip.

"Hey! Get the hell off me!"

"Nope. We're going to meet your new step-grandparents, or whatever the hell you wanna call the old farts, just like our good buddy Ichigo planned."

It was never fully confirmed, but people say they could hear Peyton's prolonged "NOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY MEEEE?" for a good ten miles.

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"What should I call you?"

"Call me Mr. Flintstone."

Peyton gave him a weird look. "_Why_?"

"Because I can make your bed rock," he informed her.

Her eye twitched. "Where...the HELL...did you hear that song?"

"Anything that comes in contact with Ichigo, comes in contact with me." He chuckled at her strangled expression. "That's right. When you kiss him, you're kissing me as well. You're a great kisser, by the way. Hence why I haven't killed you yet."

_**THWACK!**_

"DAMMIT, WOMAN, YOU SHOULD BE THANKING ME!"

"FOR WHAT? POSSESSING MY BOYFRIEND?"

"In a way, yes. I'm so much cooler."

"I beg to differ."

"Don't push your luck, Peyton. I could do anything I wanted to Ichigo's body- minus killing him, of course- and not have to deal with the consequences," he warned sinisterly.

Her house came into view. She sighed with relief. "Thank _God_. At least they're not here yet."

Hollow Ichigo just chuckled. "This is gonna be so much fun, wreacking havoc in that dumbass's body!"

Peyton slid in front of him and grabbed him by the collar. She pressed her forehead against his, and the horny dude didn't protest, thinking she had different motives.

"Mark my words. If you so much as point out the fact that my aunt Jennifer waxes her upper lip, or sneeze too loudly, ANYTHING wrong, I will kick your ass in front of everyone. No doubt you know I could do it, too. I'm sure you saw what I did to that Bount. And if I _can't_ kick your ass, I can always enter Ichigo's inner world and cut your nuts RIGHT off. Got me?"

Despite himself, Hollow Ichigo gulped. "Okay, okay. But afterwards, I get to see your bra."

"WHAT?"

"Kidding, I'm kidding."

Peyton sighed, shook her head, and walked ahead of him. "Sick freak."

"I was SO not kidding," he muttered to himself as he followed her up the driveway.

* * *

Right before she opened the door, he grabbed her hand. She glared at him, and he rolled his eyes. "I may be a Hollow, but I know how this works. Just lemme play along, I'll be a good boy."

He hesitated, then smirked to himself. "Well, as good as someone as horny as me can _be_, anyways."

Lindsay was the first to notice. She peered at "Ichigo" real closely, then made a weird noise. "Hmm. Something's different about you."

Both of them froze; Peyton was afraid of having to explain all this to her sister and Hollow Ichigo was afraid for his nuts.

"...Did you get a haircut?"

They both sweatdropped and laughed anxiously. "Yes, that's EXACTLY it!"

Lindsay beamed at her "smartness", but they all froze as they heard cars pulling up, followed by doors slamming and shouting.

Miya and Peyton exchanged a heavy sigh. "So it begins."

Even Hollow Ichigo gaped as Seth opened the door to reveal several generations of Cullens and Hasukos converged on their doorstep, yelling to each other to be heard among themselves.

They suddenly stopped talking and grinned at them. "Hi! Let's go eat, we're fricking starved like Roscoe was when we lost his dog bowl," her Uncle Lloyd said happily. "Damn, and I thought YOU had an accent," Hollow Ichigo muttered, making her stomp on his foot secretively.

"Lead the way, dad!" She said with an anxious laugh as Ichigo groaned.

Peyton and Hollow Ichigo were the last to leave the comfort of her home. "Welcome to my personal hell, inmate," she said in a fake cheerful tone as she headed for Seth's car.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"And these are his children. Lindsay, Seth, and Peyton," Miya explained, pointing at them each in turn.

Miya's mother hugged Lindsay and Seth. "Oh, and this is Orihime, my girlfriend," he added. She even hugged Orihime, who had the cutest dimples and everything.

But did she hug Peyton? Nope. She shook her hand.

"You're awfully..._wet_," she commented, looking Peyton up and down. She felt like naked the way that woman was scrutinizing her.

What the hell was this woman's problem with her? She _would_ wonder if it was because she had red hair, unlike her golden-haired siblings, but Orihime had orange-red hair, so _that_ wasn't it.

Obviously Miya's mom just didn't like Peyton on basic principle.

"Great to meet you, too. Oh, and this is my boyfriend Ichigo. We got caught in that storm, which would explain why I'm still wet."

Dammit, the woman even gave _Hollow Ichigo_ a friendly pat on the shoulder, which made Peyton's temple throb.

"Uhhh, why don't we follow the waiter now?" Miya suggested with a nervous laugh.

"It's because she's old, rich, and a cougar. Personally, I think she's pissed off at your hotness," Ichigo commented.

Peyton sweatdropped. "You're still not seeing my bra."

"Dammit!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**TEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"So, what exactly is it you do, Mark? Miya never got to explaining that," Miya's mom asked.

"Oh. I'm chief coroner at the Karakura Police Department's morgue."

As expected, the parents' brows shot up. "Oh? Whatever is_ that _like?"

"Cold, but usually quiet. I never get complaints from my patients."

Peyton covered her eyes with one hand as dad laughed at his own joke. This was going downhill already.

She heard Miya's mom clear her throat. "When I was a young woman, my mother would rap my elbow with a ruler if I ever had it on the tabletop like that."

Peyton put her arm back in her lap, temple throbbing as she noticed Orihime doing the same thing and getting away with it.

"...Oh. Sorry, Mrs. Hasuko."

"Please, I beg of you, call me Katana."

"Um...Okay. Sorry, Katana?"

"Oh, that's quite alright," she said lightly before turning to the waiter and ordering some wine.

"What the hell kind of name is that? I like Peyton so much better," Hollow muttered under his breath.

"Stop kissing ass, you're not seeing my bra," she hissed back.

They heard a muffled thud from the carpet, and Hollow flashed a dazzling, innocent smile at Katana, who was watching them like a hawk.

"Oh. I seem to have dropped my fork. I'll just...go get that."

He ducked under the table, which had such a long cloth draped over it that he could've _easily _escaped this hellish dinner.

Damn him for thinking of that first.

"So, Peyton? I hear you helped solve the murder of a young boy a while back. I was quite impressed with the details Miya gave me in her e-mail," Miya's dad commented.

Peyton waved him off half-heartedly. "Oh, really, I'm not exactly a hero or anything. I was just..."

She cut off with a gasp. She found Hollow Ichigo, alright.

"IIIIINNNN the right place at the right-" she squeezed her legs together, crushing Ichigo's head, then kicked him away, hiding his groans with the rest of her sentence. "TIME, is all! I'm just glad I could HELLLLP his family find some _peeeeace_!"

Ichigo came back up looking rather dissheveled, and held up his fork weakly. The younger people at the table sweatdropped, having a good idea of what might've happened.

"...Found it."

"I'm just going to pretend you _somehow_ thought it would be lodged between my legs, asshole," she hissed as he returned to his seat.

"Well, what _else_ could I have been doing? Nice legs, by the way. They're very smooth," He replied innocently as Peyton attempted to force the blush out of her cheeks.

Katana just eyed them suspiciously; hopefully she didn't have bionic hearing. "...Humph."

* * *

The only thing that made that damn dinner bearable was that the Cullen Clan had been stuck in traffic the whole time, so no further embarrassment was brought to Peyton's family name.

Thank _God_.

Any more of dad's dead body jokes or occasional "That's What She Said"'s, and Katana might've exploded.

At least Miya's _dad _had a sense of humor. Thank GOD Miya inherited his personality.

At the end of the dinner, once they were back at the Cullen house, she got full-on hugs from most of Miya's family. Katana simply informed her soon-to-be-step-granddaughter that she had a stain on her shirt and climbed into the car.

As soon as the car pulled out of the driveway, Peyton dropped her waving hand and clenched it into a fist. "I swear to God, I just might _strangle _that woman during the wedding."

The Cullen Clan were staying a couple days, beyond exhausted after spending two hours screaming at the top of their lungs at fellow drivers.

Peyton dragged Hollow Ichigo towards the Kurosaki house, and stopped in an alley about halfway there.

She planted her hands on her hips. "Alright, Hollow. Give control back to Ichigo."

He simply mirrored her stance. "No. A deal's a deal."

"W-WHAT? I NEVER _PROMISED _YOU WOULD SEE MY BRA!"

"Just show me, dammit, or I'll make you take it _off_!"

Peyton's temple throbbed. She knew good and well that she pretty much had to do whatever he said; it'd be nice to date Ichigo while he was in one piece.

She finally sighed in defeat and fingered the end of her shirt.

"Fine. Jerkface."

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE **__**HOURS **__**LATER**__**...**_

The first thing that registered to him was a monitor beeping. Ichigo squeezed his eyes shut tighter before opening them and trying to adjust to that damn fluorescent lighting.

He was in a hospital? He looked around, and his eyes landed on Peyton.

She uncrossed her legs and leaned forward in her seat. "Oh, good. Your eyes are normal now. I take it you're the real Ichigo?"

He paled. "Oh. So he really _did _win control, then."

Peyton set down her iPod and slid onto the bed beside him. "Yep. You owe me. BIG TIME."

Ichigo didn't dare look at his body. "How bad's the damage?"

"Well, for _you_, you have a broken wrist. I, however, am scarred for life."

"WHAT?"

"I'll explain that in a minute," she said quickly.

"Dammit, why does my head hurt so damn much?"

"Oh, about that....Do you know how damn HORNY your Hollow Self is? Oh, and I kinda had to beat you over the head with a trash can lid so you could regain control."

He slowly sat up. "Oh. Peyton, I'm so sorry you had to learn about him."

She waved him off. "Ehhh, it's my fault for letting you get hit by that damn lightning."

"So...How'd you get him to relinquish control?"

A blush crept onto her cheeks. "Well, um...He asked to see my bra...and since I didn't want him to do anything to your body, I...Well, I let him see it...but then he tried to give me a hug, and...well, I'm not STUPID! So then we got into a battle after he tried to touch 'em."

Ichigo sweatdropped. "Battle? What the hell, how did he lose against YOU?"

Peyton sweatdropped as well, blushing even harder. "Well, um...I kinda chased him around Karakura with a baseball bat I found in the alley, and when I finally got him in a heap on the ground, I...hit him over the head a few times with a trash can lid."

"So...YOU broke my wrist?"

"No! After I wouldn't let him have a chance to touch my boobs, he jumped off the dumpster and deliberately broke your wrist before running off with my shirt, all as punishment..."

Ichigo sighed, then started laughing. "You know, it's awkward yet a relief to know that my Hollow took a liking to you."

"You really think he did? I'd hate my _guts _if I were him, I mean, I beat the _shit _out of him."

"That's why! He _hates _weaklings. He calls me weak all the time. Since you beat the shit out of him...and with him trying to unhook your bra and all..Uhh, yeah, I'm pretty sure he took a liking to you."

Peyton laughed, and he pulled her over so her head was resting against his collarbone. "You're pretty damn lucky, usually he's a homicidal psychopath."

"Oh, well I threatened to cut off his nuts if he misbehaved."

"See, THAT is why I'm dating you."

* * *

**Me: Wow. I'm surprised he didn't go on a killing spree.**

**Rukia: (looks at sea of cakes) Yeah, i know...You know what ELSE i know? These cakes will spoil if we don't eat them. **

**Me: Yeah, Ichigo would want it this way.**

**Rukia: Totally...**

**Me: Don't worry, I'll save him about four slices since he has a broken wrist and all. Hope you weren't disappointed with Hollow Ichigo's appearance, and he'll probably show up again some other times, too! REVIEW!**


	33. Inside Out

**Me: Well, we're back!**

**Rukia: Yup. Y'know, that cake really IS pretty effin good. No wonder you and Ichigo pigged out on it!**

**Me: (beams) well, at least you FINALLY believe us! So, anyway, enjoy. **

* * *

They were laughing about something stupid (as per usual) when the nurse came in. She checked Ichigo's vitals, wrote something on his chart, then put it back on the end of his bed.

She looked expectantly at Peyton. "Kid, visiting hours are over."

"Oh, I'm staying."

"Excuse me?"

Peyton, dense as usual, cleared her throat and said a little louder, "**I SAID**, I'm staying!"

Ichigo and the nurse sweatdropped. "Uh, Peyton, I'm pretty sure she heard you the first time." The nurse nodded. "Yes, thank you. I did. Only blood relatives or spouses can stay after hours."

Peyton then got a horribly wonderful idea. "Oh, we're engaged. Does that count?"

She nudged Ichigo with her elbow so he wouldn't spazz out, and he grinned innocently at the nurse. She continued to look at them.

"Hmm...You don't LOOK old enough to be engaged..."

"We're 19, thank you very much," Ichigo replied, and Peyton nodded quickly.

"Where's your ring?" She asked Peyton.

"Well, I was _going_ to propose to her today, but I was mugged. Hence the broken wrist." The nurse made a sympathetic noise, her eyes watering.

"You're still gonna marry him, though, right?"

"Of course, with or without a ring!"

"That....is _sooo_ romantic...!" The nurse wailed. She had emotional tears brimming her eyes and EVERYTHING.

Ichigo wrapped an arm around Peyton. "Yeah, we're just overflowing with love," he said dramatically.

She tried her best not to laugh; the nurse totally bought it. "I'll leave you two alone, then," she said, still sniffling, before leaving without another word.

They both sweatdropped, then laughed for about five minutes straight. "That was...pure genious!"

"Dude, we should star in movies," Peyton agreed.

Ichigo smirked. "You lied to medical staff to stay with me? You're _so_ in love with me, just admit it."

Peyton's temple throbbed. "NO. I did it because my dad's whole side of the family's staying for a day or two, and there's no way I'm putting myself through that kind of torture."

He sweatdropped. "_Peeeytoon_, I'm INJURED here!"

She sweatdropped. "And? You want me to..what, kiss it and make it better or something?"

"Well...You don't have to kiss my WRIST..."

"..."

"..."

"...Ahhhhh, I see. Aren't you clever!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

They listened to Kate Cullen's story in amazement. "So...She actually did it? She pressed _charges _against him?"

She nodded. "If he's found guilty..."

She didn't need to finish her sentence. Lindsay and Seth exchanged a look, knowing how Peyton would react when she heard about it. The two had always been so close..

Miya cleared her throat. "I'm sorry to intrude on family matters, but who exactly _is _Cameron?"

Kate, the Cullen children's aunt, looked at Miya wearily. "Cameron is Peyton's godfather."

* * *

The next morning, Peyton was proud to be the first to sign Ichigo's cast. Renji visited Ichigo before he got released that day, to rub in the fact that he had gotten the crap beaten out of him by his own girlfriend.

Renji apparently thought it'd be funny to add to Peyton's signature.

It now read, **"Peyton owns Ichigo. From here on out, he's officially WHHHIIPPPPEEEDDD!"**

To which Ichigo simply said, "When the time comes that you get a cast or sling, we'll see what MY signature says, Pineapple Head."

So then Rukia walked in right in the middle of Ichigo and Renji's battle, which consisted of them throwing random objects at each other.

They barely got out with their lives after Renji got a hold of the disposed needles container.

* * *

Peyton made sure Ichigo got home in one piece, "like the good girlfriend she is," Rukia informed everyone.

Eager to spend as much time away from her house as possible, she stayed for a short amount of time.

And by short amount, we mean about five hours.

But in her defense, those five hours were spent doing _constructive_ things!

**Peyton's Schedule:**

**-Cook with Yuzu;**

**-Help Karin with her history homework (Peyton had always loved history);**

**-Make out with Ichigo;**

**-Help spray-paint Karin's room;**

**-Run away from Rukia, who was begging her to make Chappy items with her for Christmas presents;**

**-Make out with Ichigo;**

**-Watch the football game with Isshin and his friends (oh, and Ichigo.);**

**-Make out with Ichigo;**

**-Finally give in and help make one and a half Chappies before Karin, Yuzu, and Ichigo scared the crap out of her with one;**

**-Scold Ichigo/Hit Ichigo a few times on his non-injured body parts, blaming him for the whole Chappy scare;**

**-Make out with Ichigo so he couldn't win the argument;**

**-Eat;**

**-Nap until getting scared crapless by Rukia;**

**-Chase Rukia, in which Karin and Ichigo joined in by using Rukia's own Chappies against her;**

**-Say goodbye;**

**-And, finally, make out with Ichigo.**

See? CONSTRUCTIVE things.

But as soon as Peyton's house was within sight, she sort of wished she had found more things to do.

There was this weird feeling that suddenly hit her; like something bad was happening.

She ran for the front door, but when she flung it open, everyone was eating ice cream and watching TV.

Seth was the only one not looking somber. "Oh, look, you're still alive. How's your boyfriend?"

"On pain meds."

"Ha! Whimp."

"Seth, he broke his wrist."

"So? How bad could it be?"

Her temple throbbed, and she held up a fist ominously. "You want me to demonstrate?"

"Both of you, _enough_!" Dad finally exclaimed. Miya patted his back comfortingly, and Peyton's face fell.

"Something's going on...What's wrong?"

Seth turned back to the TV and refused to look in her direction. Her heart picked up speed, and her Aunt Kate was the first to break the tense silence.

"Peyton...It's your Uncle Cameron. Now, before I tell you, I want you to know that if you need to, you can get on the flight home with us and we'll leave first thing tomorrow morning."

"Just..._Please_, tell me what's wrong," she begged. When she told Ichigo she sometimes literally worried herself sick, she wasn't exaggerating. Already, she felt the need to throw up.

Kate stood up, and her face looked really tired. "You remember Cameron's ex-wife, Lydia?"

She nodded.

"She pressed charges for unpaid child support. He was picked up in Texas about three months ago. He's going on trial Monday, and with all the money he's never paid...if he's convicted...he could face up to 24 years without parole.."

Peyton's nausea came back tenfold. "....And you're _just now _telling us this?"

"We didn't have any other opportunity-"

"We all own cell phones and home phones!"

"Do you honestly want to find this kind of news out via telephone?" Uncle Rob snapped. Kate shot a look at her husband, then smiled sadly at Peyton.

"If you wanna be there...Your dad and Miya totally understand."

"But...Ms. Ochi's gonna kill me.."

Seth scoffed. "P, after that video, I think she'd let you and Ichigo hide a body in her backyard."

Dad looked at them questioningly. "WHAT video?"

"Um, nothing dad. Anyway...Um, if it's not too much to ask-"

"It's not at all, P. I'll call the school," Dad told her with a firm pat on her shoulder. She felt like crying.

Twenty-four years? She'd be thirty-nine by the time he could even CONSIDER getting out of prison.

Peyton sighed and went upstairs to pack and call Rukia.

**

* * *

**

**Me: (Sniffles) Poor Peyton!**

**Rukia: Yeah....Tragic...**

**Me: (looks at Rukia)**

**Rukia: (looks at me)**

**Me: Shall we drown our woes in cake and chocolate syrup?**

**Rukia: we shall!**

**Me: Dont worry, we're gonna share it with Ichigo, too, since he's got an itchy cast and all...REVIEW!**


	34. Airplanes

**Me: Sooo...We're back.**

**Rukia: I would just like to say how PSYCHED WE ARE!**

**Me: Why? Peyton's leaving? What the hell, Rukia!**

**Rukia: NO, dumbass! I meant because we officially, as of now, have 110 reviews!**

**Me: Ohhhh....Yeah, that's right! Yay! That IS psyched-worthy news!**

**Rukia: (eye-roll) Whatever. Enjoy.**

* * *

Rukia was attempting to tell Ichigo about what happened, but he was currently deleting all the comments from Karin and Yuzu on the YouTube video.

That damn video.

Still, at least Ms. Ochi had given them extra credit for it, and he was now referred to as the King Stud at school (mainly by Keigo at first, but it had caught on to basically the whole male student body, minus Ishihackaloogie and Renji).

So all he got out of that one-sided conversation of Rukia's was "the Cullens" and "Airport tomorrow morning". So naturally, he assumed that Peyton's relatives were leaving tomorrow morning, and he just said "Mm."

Rukia, however, smacked him upside the head angrily. "Dammit, Ichigo, that's all you can say about it?"

"What do you WANT me to say?" He asked, beyond confused.

She just threw up her hands and stomped out of his room. Ichigo shrugged and went about his business, but decided that tomorrow morning he'd go to the airport, just to see if they were all as crazy as Peyton said.

"Hmmm...Rukia must be PMS-ing. Do Soul Reapers PMS? Hmmm, I should ask her that one day...Preferrably when Captains are around, so she won't kill me for asking her that. I don't trust that Peyton would stop her, because she'd be too busy laughing her ass off or collecting bets from other people on how long I'll last....Hmmm..."

* * *

Peyton's hands were still shaking that morning. Lindsay was coming with her, for sibling support. She hadn't been as close to Cameron as Peyton was.

Even in her current emotional state, she couldn't help but sweatdrop after noticing that Lindsay had at least five suitcases, compared to her _one _suitcase.

"Ummm...Linds, you DO know we're only staying five days, right? _Not _moving to Texas?"

"Yeah, I know. Obviously, you don't have as much effort put into your wardrobe as I do."

She shook her head at her blonde sister. "Obviously."

Both siblings then exchanged an eye-roll; Uncle Rob and Uncle Steven's argument over the price of bottled water could be heard behind them, and Aunt Kate and Aunt Lynn were currently discussing the fact that mayonnaise had Spanish writing on it along with English and how it's interesting to know where their tax money was going.

Personally, Peyton _liked _the Spanish writing on food items. It helped her pass her Spanish I finals last year.

As they zoomed through the lobby, Peyton slowed as she noticed Ichigo wandering around aimlessly.

"PSSST! KUROSAKI!" She hollered, cupping her hands around her mouth as if she weren't loud enough on her own.

This made everyone jump, and Lindsay sighed with relief before dropping her bags onto a bench and sitting on them.

"Thank God for your boyfriend. These bags are heavy as anything."

"BOYFRIEND?" Their relatives exclaimed with glee/suspicion/pervertedness.

Peyton and Ichigo sweatdropped, while Lindsay sighed and shook her head at the Cullens. "Y'all are SO outta the loop."

"We were in traffic the whole time!" They snapped, and Lindsay threw up her hands in surrender.

"Jeez, my bad."

* * *

Ichigo slowly craned his head to look at her family, and Peyton turned around as well. They both sweatdropped again.

Aunt Kate was grinning like mad. Aunt Lynn was checking Ichigo out (quite openly). Uncle Steven shot a look at his wife for checking Ichigo out before inspecting the teen himself. Uncle Rob was smirking at the two rather suggestively.

Peyton sighed. "Ummm...If you guys don't mind..?"

Everyone made a loud and drawn-out "Ohhhhh, _riiiighht_!" noise before scurrying for their terminal, which was nearby.

Ichigo and Peyton looked meaningfully at Lindsay, who then huffed and took a good five minutes to pick up all her bags and wheel herself over to plop down beside her Aunt Lynn.

Peyton shook her head slowly at her relatives before smiling at Ichigo. "I _told _you they were crazy. Apparently the newspapers are pretty interesting here," she commented.

Both teens sweatdropped yet again; they were all reading newspapers (Rob's was upside-down and Lynn's was sideways) while staring rather obviously at the two.

Ichigo glanced down at her suitcase. "You're going with them? Why?"

Peyton's eyebrows shot up. "Rukia didn't tell you?"

"....No..."

"Funny. She SAID she did..."

"I wasn't paying attention," he admitted moodily, which made Peyton smirk. "That doesn't surprise me. Anyway, yes, I'm going."

"Why?" He repeated.

Her expression changed a bit; it looked kind of sad. "My godfather, Uncle Cameron. He, um..He's having a trial Monday, over some charges over unpaid child support. Ichigo, if he loses...He owes her over $24,000. He'll get at least twenty-four years without parole."

Ichigo's expression changed too, much like hers did. "...Oh. Crap, I should've paid attention, I would've at least called you.." She waved him off. "It's probably a good thing you didn't, I would've just started crying all over again."

They glanced at Uncle Rob, who cleared his throat and tapped his watch. Peyton waved him off, then sweatdropped as the females of the group shushed Rob rather violently and gave him stink-eyes for interrupting.

Ichigo grinned at her. "I kinda like 'em, to be honest."

"Just be glad they're not blood-relatives for _you_."

"If it's any consolation, you're much crazier than _they _are."

Peyton sweatdropped. "...Thanks so much..."

He laughed and pulled her into a hug. "Everything'll be fine. I'll fill you in on everything you miss," he muttered near her ear.

"I'm glad you're here."

"Me too. It's good to know that insanity runs in your family, and you're not the odd kid out."

"Wow, see, that's why I'm dating you. You know _just _how to ruin the moment."

"It's a gift," he replied cheerfully before kissing her forehead.

They both sweatdropped as there was a rather loud chorus of "AWWWWWWWW!"'s. As they pulled away (reluctantly), Uncle Steven nudged Rob.

"Dude, Seth was right. He's whipped!"

"Yeah, but being whipped by our little Peyton is more like _survival instinct _than a lack of _manliness_," Rob replied.

Steven shrugged, and his wife gave him a glare. "Jeez, I wish YOU still did stuff like that!" He attempted to kiss Lynn's forehead, but she just stood up real fast, and he ended up kissing the back of the chair.

"No, it doesn't mean anything NOW. Maybe I should've waited another fifteen years or so, I could've married HIM."

Peyton sighed and covered her face with her hand as Ichigo just laughed. "Peyton?"

"Yeah?"

"I _really _like 'em."

* * *

"Oh. Good. Just remind me to watch Aunt Lynn around you at all times, alright?"

He hugged her tightly again before grinning. "No need."

"No, seriously, remind me. Cougars run in my family."

"You're not gonna leave me for Jinta, are you?"

"Not any time soon. But I'd watch out if I were you, I could _easily _change my mind," she warned him lightly.

**_"Flight to Austin now boarding,"_** the flight attendant announced over the loud-speaker. She smiled sadly at him. "That's me. I'll see you when I get back?"

"Unless I get hit by lightning again. Or, y'know, if the world ends."

"It _better _not before I learn how to drive, I'll be _extremely _pissed," she commented moodily. Ichigo rolled his eyes and kissed her- on the lips this time. "Good to know what you'll regret when the end of the world comes."

"I aim to please!" She commented innocently before reluctantly heading for the terminal.

Ichigo watched with a grin as Lindsay and Uncle Steven said something rather perverted to her, making Peyton turn red and attack them both throughout the tunnel leading to their plane.

Then he sighed and left_. Well, __this__ sucks._

_

* * *

_

**Me: Awww, Ichigo's gonna be interesting to observe until Peyton gets back.**

**Rukia: Very true.**

**Me: Hey...Speaking of which, when the hell is he coming back for the pre-chapter and post-chapter discussions?**

**Rukia: (wise sage voice) Soon, grasshopper. Very soon.**

**Me: (sweatdrops) ....REVIEW.**


	35. First Love?

**Me: Well, we're back.**

**Ichigo: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Fascinating.**

**Rukia: (rolls eyes) Saying you were wallowing in self-pity would be a MAJOR understatement.**

**Ichigo: (wails) Well, how would YOU feel if you had this damn itchy cast on, and your girlfriend wasnt around to take pity on you? I got free kisses for this thing: FREE. Do you know how big of a deal that is for me? And now the only person who helps me is Orihime, because Seth thinks she's an angel and she wants to keep it that way! DAMMIT! **

**Me: (obviously extremely disturbed by that whole rant) Um...Yeah. Enjoy.**

* * *

Renji slowly poked his head out from below Ichigo's desk, making a weird face. "Hey, Mr.-Grumpy-Gills! Just keep swimming, just keep- Oh, wait. _That's _right. You CAN'T, because you have a CAAASSTT on!"

Ichigo's temple throbbed. "Dammit, Rukia, WHY did you let him watch Finding Nemo with you?"

Rukia shrugged. "It's a great movie!"

Renji smirked. "Don't mind Strawberry. He's just all bent outta shape because _Peeeytooonn's gooonnee_."

His temple throbbed again. "No, that's not exactly it. I just didn't get any sleep last night."

"Because Peyton's gone," Rukia and Renji repeated in unison, exchanging a high-five and making Ichigo sweatdrop.

"Whatever. What's the point of trying to reason with you two dumbasses?"

"Why don't you call her?" Orihime suggested out of nowhere, making Ichigo fall out of his seat with a surprised yell.

Everyone snickered, and his temple throbbed- AGAIN.

"Hi Orihime. Thanks for the warning."

She smiled cheerfully. "Hi! Seriously, though? Why not just call her if you miss her?"

Renji nudged Rukia. "Maybe we should put him on suicide watch? He seems depressed."

"I'M NOT DEPRESSED! CAN NO ONE JUST BE _TIRED _THE DAY AFTER THEIR GIRLFRIEND LEAVES ANYMORE WITHOUT THEIR MOTIVES BEING QUESTIONED?" He shouted, making everyone stare at him.

He cleared his throat, then snatched his phone out of his pocket. He glared at Orihime as he dialed Peyton's number (_Yes, I memorized it. I memorize lots of things. Except...Well, not much else than her number, lyrics, moviies, and my locker combination. Well, actually, Rukia wrote that on the bottom of my shoe for me, so I never memorized that, either. BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT_!).

Orihime sank lower into her seat under his glare, then sat up a little after Rukia smacked Ichigo upside the head and pressed a button.

"Dammit, moron, you're supposed to put it on speaker! Who says you get to hog her all to yourself?"

Ichigo sweatdropped, but just sighed and shook his head. "I'm not gonna comment."

But right as they heard someone pick up, Ms. Ochi walked in, and Ichigo slammed the phone shut.

Everyone within a five-row-radius let out rather loud and violent groans towards Ichigo after looking forward to eavesdropping, but dammit, he didn't want a good fifteen minutes of the conversation consisting of Ms. Ochi gushing about how _awesome _Peyton was, and how _cute _they were together, and her _commentary _about parts of that stupid video.

So let them be disappointed. HE had time to call her later, and that thought made him smirk rather smugly.

* * *

As soon as they landed, Peyton was ready to go to the Austin Correctional Facility, but apparently everyone else was tired.

"So what if it's three in the morning? Family comes first!" She protested with a whine.

"Yeah, and right now, the majority of your family's about to die from exhaustion," Steven had retorted.

So she ended up being passed out most of that morning and the next day, because she had been just as exhausted.

UNTIL she heard her phone playing "Because I Got High", increasing in volume steadily until she picked up.

Peyton answered it, knowing only one person would dare call her at eight-something in the morning when she didn't have to be anywhere.

And she had been hoping he would dare to do such a thing.

"Hello?"

_**BANG!**_

Peyton shot the phone a good five feet away from her ear, holding it out as far as her arm would go in a rather dramatic manner.

She heard what sounded like groaning right before the line went dead, and for a moment she sat there in the hotel bed wondering what had happened.

Then she decided that as long as she hadn't heard any screaming or Hollows, no one was in immediate danger. Therefore, she didn't care, and could flop back into the pillows with a clean conscience.

So she did.

* * *

_**SEVEN ****HOURS LATER...**_

"_**I was gonna go to class, before I got high.."**_

Peyton literally dove for her phone, making Lindsay pause in brushing her already-smooth blonde hair.

"Hello?"

"_Yo."_

"Hey, no. That's MY word."

"_Wow. I'm glad you're happy to hear from me."_

"Oh, sorry. No, I'm happy to hear from ya," she said while eyeing her own messy auburn hair. Sigh. How Ichigo seemed to think she was hot no matter what was WAY beyond her.

"Oh, yeah, she is. You should've _seen_ the way she dove for the phone. Woke her right up, it's the damnedest thing!" Lindsay added loudly.

Peyton heard him laugh as she smacked Lindsay repeatedly on her thigh. _"Is that Lindsay?"_

"Yep."

"_I like when she overhears our conversations. She always tells me the truth."_

"The truth?"

"_Like how totally uncool you are whenever it concerns something about me,"_ Ichigo replied in a casually smug voice.

She loved and hated that tone, and he knew it. Peyton huffed, but was grinning. He probably knew that, too.

"Whatever. Don't get a big head. It's not a good look for you."

"_Good thing I don't ever get one, then."_

"Ha! You're funny."

"_I know."_

"So...Why'd you permanently damage my right ear this morning?"

"_Oh, that. Ms. Ochi walked in."_

"Ohhhh, I get it. And you wanted to talk to me when you could have me to yourself," she guessed.

"_Tch. No._ _NOW who has the big head!"_

"Ichigo Kurosaki, you're the worst liar I have _ever_ met, you know that?"

"_I know."_

"Did I miss much today?"

"_Well, I beat the crap out of Renji today."_

"Shocker."

"_Yeah, I know._ _I'm too awesome for him to beat me."_

"Ichigo, he beat you _last time_...!"

"_The sun was in my eyes!"_

"We were _inside_, Ichigo!"

"_So? There were windows, Peyton!"_

Peyton laughed and rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say."

She heard Karin's voice in the background, followed by Isshin using his usual "Peyton Tone"- the tone he always used when praising Peyton and her "child-bearing skills", which he assured them both was very high.

As if that was THE number one thing on their mind at age 16.

As she predicted, Ichigo covered the speaker end of the phone to shout at them both, then sighed rather heavily. _"I gotta go. Dad's trying to use this conversation to re-calculate our Baby-Making Chart."_

Peyton felt a blush creep onto her cheeks. "Baby-Making Chart? He seriously calls it that?"

Lindsay started rolling on her bed with laughter.

_"Sadly, yes. I tried to get him to at least change the name, but Karin suggested the 'Bow-Chika-Wow-Wow Meter', so I figured I'd just let the chart be for now and burn it later."_

She laughed. "Ichigo?"

"_Yeah?"_

"It's good to know insanity runs in your family, and you're not the odd kid out," she commented innocently.

Ichigo laughed sarcastically. _"Wow. So funny. I'm gonna let that go, just because I miss you right now."_

"AWWW!" Lindsay said mid-laugh. Peyton would've hit her again, but she had to wonder how the hell her sister had heard him say that all the way across the room. She shuddered at the thought, then smirked as if Ichigo could see her.

"Really? I was sure y'all would be glad of the break. I hear I can be too much to handle for too long a time."

"_Obviously whoever told you that isn't as awesome as me. I could take you on for a __looooong__ time,"_ Ichigo boasted.

That made her stomach flip a little, knowing this was his way of trying to get through to her how he was feeling about the whole thing.

"Mm. Good thing I'm with _you_, then," she commented brightly.

She heard him laugh to himself. _"Yeah, I guess it is. So I'll call you tomorrow?"_

"Hope so."

"_Night, Peyton."_

"Night, Ichigo."

As soon as she hung up, she pretty much attacked Lindsay. "DAMMIT, STOP EAVESDROPPING ON ALL OUR PHONE CALLS! THIS IS THE EIGHTH TIME!"

"Eighth? Pfft, try the fiftieth, P."

"Exactly!"

* * *

He honestly didn't know how or why he said it. It just sort of _happened_. Ichigo had tried to talk to her during school the next day, but her phone didn't pick up.

So he figured either she forgot her charger or lost her phone again.

But he knew she wanted to hear from him, 'cause he was just that awesome. So he decided to leave Peyton a random voicemail.

Which worked out perfectly.

"Ichigo Kurosaki, is that a PHONE in your hand?" Renji cried out, grinning innocently at Ms. Ochi as if he were the best homeroom and chemistry student she had ever had.

Ichigo flashed a dazzling smile. "Actually, it is. I was trying to record the lessons so Peyton, my awesome girlfriend with whom I was featured in a YouTube video, won't miss anything while being away for a family emergency."

Of course, Ms. Ochi and the girls in the class were all like, "AWWWW!"

He smirked triumphantly at Renji, whose jaw dropped. "EHHHH? WHAT THE HELL! THAT'S NOT FAIR!"

"LANGUAGE, RENJI, LANGUAGE!" Ms. Ochi snapped before beaming brightly at Ichigo.

"Go right on ahead. Feel free to add commentary!"

As soon as she went back to whatever the hell she was doing up there at her desk, Ichigo whispered into his phone, "SCOOOORE!"

But that's not what was so mind-blowing about the extremely long voicemail.

He had kept his phone on through three periods so far, and classmates had been saying random things into it, (Peyton was gonna laugh until she cried once she heard Ichigo battling it out with some pervert who said, rather seriously, "Take off your pants. NOW." into the phone.) and Keigo had just walked up to it.

"Tell Lindsay I love her and miss her. Oh, and I hope everything goes good with your godfather, Peyton!"

Then he just walked off, so maybe that message of Keigo's had something to do with what happened next.

Mr. Okiwura wasn't exactly fond of him or Peyton (here meaning HATED THEIR GUTS), and Ichigo knew he wouldn't let him tape the lesson. Or, more importantly, anything that happened between the students.

"Okiwura just walked in. He looks hungry, his pot belly's jiggling with anger. Which means he might _eat_ me if he sees my phone just sitting randomly on my desk, so...Yeah, I'll leave you another voicemail or something later. I love you."

It wasn't until after he shut the phone and saw Rukia and Tatsuki staring at him in awe that he realized what he had just said.

For 89% of the room, their highlight of that lesson was watching Ichigo spastically re-dial Peyton's number and practically trip over his own words trying to explain himself.

"Oh, um, okay. Yeah. See, this CRAZY thing just happened. Today they brought a ninja into Okiwura's class to tell us about his awesome career, and his ninja yell made it sound like I said something weird at the end of that voicemail. It almost sounded like, uh...'I love you' or something like that. Crazy, I know! I can't believe you're missing this! But yeah, uhhh, that's all it was at the end there. I bet Okiwura paid him. So, anyway, um...yeah, bye."

He hung up, and Renji peered at him. "Did you just tell Peyton over voicemail that you _love _her?"

"NO, NOW GO _AWAY_!"

"YOU _SOOOO _DID!"

"GO GET HIT BY A BUS, PINEAPPLE HEAD!"

"GO GET CHOPPED INTO A SMOOTHIE, STRAWBERRY!"

"GO GET SUCKED BY SOME HAWAIIANS, PINEAPPLE!"

"PERVERT!"

"I didn't mean it like THAATT, Rukia!" Ichigo said warily. He should've known she'd call him a pervert.

* * *

That night, he went through dinner and such on autopilot, running the last part of that voicemail over and over in his head and hoping Peyton never caught on.

Why the HELL had he said that? Sure, he liked Peyton. Really liked her. Really, REALLY liked her. But love? HIM? No.

No, just...NO.

Right? RIGHT!

Ichigo finally sighed, painfully aware that he wasn't going to get much sleep tonight. He went to his desk, got a sheet of paper, and grabbed a pen.

After one more cautious look in his closet's direction, hoping to any Gods that might be up there that Rukia didn't have to pee or something, he started thinking.

* * *

_**MEANWHILE...**_

Peyton was actually first to wake up that morning. Lindsay, however, didn't wake up until a while later.

She would've stayed asleep longer if Peyton hadn't been noisily emptying her bag, checking everything.

"What the HELL are you doing?"

She glanced up at Lindsay, who rubbed her eyes moodily. "Oh. You're awake."

"No kidding. Having problems?"

"Oh, you noticed? Yeah, I can't find my charger."

"Is it the one that was plugged into the wall, as always?"

"...Yeah..."

"Then it's still there."

"LINDSAAAAYY! Why didn't you remind me before we left?"

"I dunno. Didn't think about it at the time."

Peyton sighed and dropped her bag, heading for the bathroom. "You comin' to visit Uncle Cameron with me?"

"Nah, I'm going later."

"Okay."

* * *

_**TWO ****HOURS LATER...**_

Peyton pretended not to notice the prisoners watching her as she followed the officer, trying her hardest not to shiver as their eyes traveled all up and down her.

"Fresh meat," one commented.

"Nah, man, she visitin' fo sure. The cop ain't got a jumpsuit in his hand, and she ain't been frisked. See, she has a phone on her."

And THAT is why she brought her currently dead cell with her; just to throw people off. Well, that and she had walked out with it in her hand, out of habit.

Finally, the officer stopped in front of a room inside of which her godfather sat, cuffed to a stainless-steel table.

Peyton had to muster all the self-control she had to not run over the poor guy as he unlocked the door, and she felt her eyes tearing up once Cameron noticed her.

He beamed as if he weren't sitting in a prison.

"Peyton. Damn, how you've grown."

* * *

She laughed and hugged him tightly, and he patted her back as she pulled away. "How are you here? Didn't you guys move to Japan?"

She nodded. "Once I heard, I flew with Kate and them straight here. Uncle Cameron, how the hell did all this happen?"

He shook his head, and his eyes turned somber. "Peyton, it happened so fast. One minute I was on the interstate, the next a cop pulled me over. I thought it was for speeding, but...well, obviously, it wasn't."

Peyton sighed. "Is it true? You could get twenty-four years?"

He nodded hesitantly. "I'm sorry to say it is. Hey, don't you cry," he said as she blinked really fast.

He attempted to pat her hand, but the stupid handcuffs wouldn't let him reach that far. A pained expression crossed his face, and Peyton's heart broke to see him that way.

The officer rapped on the window, signaling that their time was up, and Peyton came back around for another hug.

"I'll visit you again over the next couple of days, until the trial. And I'll be _there_, too."

He held her close for a long moment, then let go and smiled at her. "I'll try not to go anywhere until you get back."

She laughed, knowing that's what he wanted, and hesitantly followed the officer out.

* * *

That night, she tossed and turned. Her thoughts must've had ADHD for the night, because they couldn't stay on one topic. Her mind went from Cameron, to Lindsay's snoring, to Hollow Ichigo, to Ichigo, to how many missed calls she might have, to what he might be doing right now, and then back to Cameron.

She _wanted _to blame Lydia, his ex-wife, for the whole thing. Most of her family already did. But no matter how much she stewed over it, she couldn't bring herself to do so.

Her mom had mentioned once or twice that Peyton was an "old soul". She was able to think and feel things most people her age never even considered.

One of which being she viewed things from both sides, with very complex thoughts on them, no matter how biased she might be. This was no different. If she had adopted a kid or two, like Lydia, and gotten a divorce, she would want some support for the kids' futures, too.

It wasn't _Lydia's _fault that Cameron didn't have a job and had a hard time paying it. He could've at least tried to compromise with her, and pay it off little by little, instead of not making any effort and letting it pile up like that.

But he didn't. Don't think for a second that Peyton wasn't on her godfather's side, but at the same time, she had to wonder how those _kids _thought about the whole thing.

Did they feel abandoned, knowing their dad hadn't helped their mom prepare their future? Did they feel unloved? Or were they mad at their mom? Maybe they talked as bad about Cameron as her family did about Lydia, which always made her uncomfortable at how vicious they could be sometimes.

Needless to say, she didn't sleep at all that night.

In fact, she didn't fall asleep until about five in the morning, and it was a restless one.

* * *

**Me: That sucks. She's so right, though. I dunno if there's one side that's totally right in this kind of conflict.**

**Rukia: (totally ignoring my deep monlogue) Ichigo said he LOVES her!**

**Ichigo: DAMMIT, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!**

**Me: Oh, yeah, that's right. I was so shocked!**

**Ichigo: Screw you both, I'm going back to fucking bed. **

**Me: Want some cake?**

**Ichigo: NO.**

**Rukia and Me: (exchange looks) Oh. My. GOD. This is serious!**

**Me: (suddenly totally unconcerned about Ichigo's mood) Anyways, REVIEW!**

**Rukia: (eye-twitch)**


	36. Fix You

**Me: Hmm Hmmm Hmmm ICHIGO LOVES PEYTOOOON Hmmm Hmmm Hmmm- **

**Ichigo: (whacks me in the head with his cast, then looks innocently at you readers) Rukia's not here. Shh. Enjoy! (cue dazzling smile)**

**Me: (barely conscious) Lies...His smile is filled with LIES! (passes out)**

**Ichigo: (eye-twitch) Damn, i hit her a lot harder than i thought...Shit, Rukia's gonna kill me..!**

* * *

The three days leading up to the trial passed by _really _slowly for not only Peyton, but everyone involved, including her friends back in Karakura.

Finally, the day arrived. Three long days, two restless nights, five visits, and two crying jags later.

They all saw him and told him they loved him and such before the trial, and then they sat on hard benches for a good three hours.

The benches might've been uncomfortable, but that barely registered to Peyton. Finally, they took a break to let the jury deliberate.

"I'm surprised the case is taking such a short amount of time," Steven was saying as they ate in a nearby fast-food joint. "Usually these take place over _several days _of trials."

"Well, if you remember, his trial was canceled and rescheduled several times. I'm sure _everyone's _ready to just get it over with," Karen replied.

"I'm just ready to get _home_. I mean, of course I care what happens to him, but...you know what I mean," Lindsay stated with a sigh.

It confused Peyton how they could be so casual when, basically, his life was hanging in the balance.

Screaming this out to them wouldn't do any good, though, so she just stayed silent and nibbled on the stupid fries.

* * *

Back in Karakura, if someone looked into Ms. Ochi's last period homeroom, they'd see something interesting.

They'd see about five or six students fidgeting anxiously. Rukia was biting her nails, Matsumoto was sighing every five seconds impatiently, Toshiro and Renji were picking apart their erasers and flicking the crumbs at people's heads, and Keigo and Ichigo were bouncing their legs.

They had been doing all this throughout the whole day.

All Ichigo really wanted to do was call Peyton and find out what happened, but he'd have to wait until he got home and looked up some numbers.

He planned on Googling the hotels in that area and calling to see which one she was staying at, and hope he got through.

He was even going to pay the long distance fee with his allowance. Well, he'd probably steal Karin's, but it's the thought that counts, right?

He was THAT dedicated.

Finally, the bell rung, and they were practically airborne as Rukia flung open the classroom door...And their Soul Reaper Phones went off.

All five of them stood staring at each other, and Ichigo sighed rather heavily before unzipping his school bag, ignoring Kon as he gasped for air dramatically.

"Well...THIS sucks."

* * *

She had been expecting it. Hoping against it, but expecting it.

She thought those ten to thirteen minutes just sitting on the bathroom sink convincing herself it could happen had prepared her for it, at least a little.

"We the jury, find the defendant, Cameron Cullen...Guilty."

But it hadn't. She felt utterly numb, and stayed upright for about twelve seconds before more or less collapsing back onto the bench.

Lindsay sat down with her so she wouldn't look half as much of an emotional idiot, keeping a death grip on her hand. Cameron looked right as his goddaughter as the judge read out his sentence.

"I hereby sentence the defendant to 22 years in the Austin Correctional Facility without possibility of parole. Once eligible, if the defendant pays the $24,590. 27 due to Miss Lydia Whittaker, he will be given a minimum 5-month parole. Case dismissed. Bailiff, would you please..?"

The officer led Cameron out, and Peyton swallowed hard as her family patted her back. Lindsay dragged her into a standing position and down the aisle, walking so fast that the people nearby were blurs to her sister.

A reporter stood right in their way, looking at them. "One of you happens to be Cameron Cullen's goddaughter, is that correct?"

Everyone looked at Peyton, and Lindsay kept her gaze on the reporter, looking like she was prone to scratch her eyes out at any moment if she said the wrong things to Peyton.

The reporter took this as her answer and stuck a tape recorder closer to Peyton's face. "What thoughts ran through your mind as you heard he was guilty?"

"That depends. My _actual _thoughts were somewhere along the lines of 'Holy shit, holy _shit_, someone better catch me if I faint, and why the _hell _would I leave my charger at home'. But something tells me that's not what you meant."

The reporter was all business, but they both jumped as Lynn smacked Steven upside the head for snickering and attempting to make Peyton high-five him.

"Actually, what I meant was your opinion on the sentence."

"My opinion?"

Lindsay tugged on her arm. "P, you don't have to answer any questions this chick has for you."

"I know..I knew he was guilty already. Obviously. I just thought maybe...Maybe it wasn't too late for some kind of compromise. But I want to make it clear, since I know you're probably gonna run this in the newspaper Lydia reads, that I have no feelings of resentment towards her. She did the right thing, my godfather made some bad choices. We all do. I just...wish she didn't take it to court like this."

Her voice cracked at the end, and she realized she was dangerously close to crying. Lindsay glared at the reporter as she opened her mouth to ask something else, and she dragged her sister out of the courthouse.

"I think you've got all you need. And if you paraphrase my sister's statement, I _will _hunt you down and rip the Bump-It right out of your bleached hair from the roots up."

Peyton was still kind of dazed, but told Lindsay "Thanks sis, I love you" about five times on the way to the hotel.

* * *

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

"Hey, is there a Peyton Cullen staying there? You dunno? Oh. How about ANY Cullens? Two rooms?"

Rukia jolted upright, and Ichigo started to show actual interested emotion in his voice instead of the dullness. About time; this was his eighteenth call AT LEAST.

"Yes, please put me through." He put his hand over the receiver before hissing dramatically, "SCOOOREEE! FINALLY! HECK- Oh, hey Peyton."

Rukia crossed her arms, at first impatient to get her turn to talk, but soon became amused with Ichigo's behavior.

She noticed that when he talked to Peyton, he was noticeably calmer, and fiddled with random junk in his room.

"Oh, yeah, I figured. Nope. I just looked up the hotels near the Austin Correctional something-or-other, and called every single one until I got through to you."

Another pause. More fiddling. Cue the smug smirk. "I know, I'm awesome."

Wait. Cue skeptical look? Where'd that come from?

"You didn't contradict my awesomeness. Either you're exhausted, sick, or the trial didn't go good."

Rukia shot up from her chair after Ichigo hadn't talked in over ten seconds, listening intently to his girlfriend's reply. Rukia even counted using Mississippi between numbers, like Peyton had taught her!

"What happened?" She hissed, and her temple throbbed as Ichigo waved her off quickly.

He didn't look very happy anymore.

"That explains why you sound so sniffly. Tell me everything, alright? Just calm down."

Rukia held up a finger in protest, her mouth forming an "O", as Ichigo simply walked out of the room without handing her the phone.

_Damn him! He always hogs the damn phone to himself, even when frigging TELEMARKETERS are calling!_

She decided to look around his room while he was gone, though she lived there, so there couldn't be too much lying around that she hadn't already seen at one point or another.

But what else could she do? She was bored as hell.

One thing DID catch her eye, though. It was strategically placed between some random sheets of paper on Ichigo's desk.

A slow, evil grin spread onto her face. This was where Ichigo always hid things he didn't want anyone to see.

She dove for it, rifling through the papers as if trying to acquire some crack. Rukia unfolded it, and found a long list.

It was titled: "**A Few Reasons I Might, Maybe, Possibly, But Probably Don't Love Peyton**".

_Ohhhhh yeesss, I have GOT to read this._

* * *

A random sampling, perhaps?

**4. Her eyes. Damn those big, stupid brown eyes. I blame this on America, because no other brown-eyed girl around here has eyes like hers. Stupid fricking America.**

**7. She can talk to anyone and become friends with them. Even telemarketers. And usually remembers their names somehow. **

**9. The spazz-attack she has before she sneezes.**

**17. I have more actual thoughts about her than perverted thoughts.**

**18. When I do have perverted thoughts, there are plenty of them, and they are AWESOME.**

**24. She can beat the crap out of me and rarely says sorry, yet apologizes to inanimate objects and pets.**

**25. I let her beat the crap out of me even though I know she rarely says sorry.**

**38. The way she looks at me when she thinks I'm not looking, and how it makes me feel awesome.**

**47. I accidentally said "I love you" on her voicemail, and as much as I hate to say this...I mean really, REALLY hate to say it...it felt normal until I spazzed myself out over it.**

**59. It's officially 1:04 AM and I'm still thinking of things I can put on this list. Stupid Peyton, making me lose sleep even when she's across the goddamn ocean...**

**63. She can't cook, but insists she can. To prove it, even though it's disgusting and she knows it, she will eat the food she attempts to cook. And pretends to swallow it. And spits it out only when no one's looking. JUST to be right.**

**69. I was so busy writing this next thing down that I didn't even laugh all perverted-like when I realized I was on #69. Heheheh...69. Anyway. I really don't mind dad's Baby-Making Chart that much anymore.**

**77. The way she does this weird little Happy Dance whenever a song she likes comes on the radio.**

**89. Speaking of songs, she knows every lyric to every song in the entire world, and sings it almost better than the artists. I am not exaggerating. **

**91. She knows more Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer jokes than me and Renji combined. Which is really, really, really, really, REALLY saying something.**

**95. She plays COD. And she's actually a pretty big challenge. And damn, does she rub it in. She also wins tons of money after morons bet against her. They never learn...**

**99. There are 99 things on this list so far. Fun fact. Enough said.**

**104. My mom would love her. She'd probably smack me upside the head for even considering making this list to try to prove how much I "don't" love Peyton.**

**107. It's 2:25 in the morning and I just now have to actually think a little on what the next thing on this list might be.**

**108. I actually made a list to convince myself I probably don't love her. It's not working.**

Rukia read every single thing on the list. All 115 things. And then she stuffed it into her pocket.

Knowing Ichigo, he would probably burn this very soon, and she would NOT allow it. Peyton _had _to read this.

* * *

_**EARLIER.****..**_

"P?"

Lindsay's voice made her jump; it had been more or less quiet except for her sniffling. She had had another crying jag, and was currently hidden in her castle of covers and hotel beds.

Peyton poked her head out, taking the earphones out of her ears, and Lindsay held up their hotel room phone. "Someone wants to talk to you."

She sighed. Great. It was probably the people on the other side of the wall, calling to beg her to stop making noises.

"Hello?"

"_HECK- Oh, hey Peyton."_

She shot upright, and ignored the wide grin on Lindsay's face. "Ichigo? But...I lost my phone."

"_Oh, yeah, I figured."_

"How the HELL did you get this number? Did I tell you? I don't remember.."

"_Nope. I just looked up the hotels near the Austin Correctional something-or-other, and called every single one until I got through to you."_

"Awwww, is he serious?" Lindsay asked.

Peyton glanced up at her. "I think so. He's using his serious voice."

Of course he heard them. _"I know, I'm awesome."_

"Mm."

There was a catch of breath on the other line. _"You didn't contradict my awesomeness. Either you're exhausted, sick, or the trial didn't go good."_

Dammit, why did he have to know everything she was feeling even when he couldn't see her expressions?

Lindsay noticed how quickly her sister's face fell, and inched towards the door. "Say no more, I'll leave you guys alone for a while."

Peyton nodded appreciatively, then decided to answer Ichigo. "Y'know, I was doing pretty damn good with keeping myself composed until you asked me that. No, it didn't go well. Actually, I feel exhausted and sick, too," she said quietly, feeling her eyes getting wet again.

She heard movement, and Rukia hissing something to him nearby. _"That explains why you sound so sniffly. Tell me everything, alright? Just calm down."_

* * *

So she told him everything. From the trial, to how crappy the food was, to the prison visits, to the reporter, and finally, to her emotional breakdown.

"It just amazes me how casual and calm everyone can be. His life was at stake here, and in the end, he pretty much lost it. Can you imagine? Going to jail for unpaid child support, nine days before Christmas. I'm not gonna be able to see him for such a long time, when usually I see him at least six times a year. It...It just doesn't seem fair. I can't even _blame_ Lydia, because _I_ would've taken some kind of action too, but at the same time...ugh! You see my problem?"

She had tears of frustration running down her cheeks by this point.

"_Yeah, I see your problem. What makes it even worse is the fact that I can't come over there and hug you, or anything. It's killing me. But anyway, we're talking about you and your godfather here, not me. How about this? Your mom was a flight attendant, right?"_

She nodded, then smacked her own forehead distractedly after remembering he couldn't see her nodding. "Yeah."

"_Well, you could fly over there every once in a while to visit him, then come back. And maybe you could send him a Christmas tree or something, I saw it on Bones, like, a year ago."_

"I love that show."

"_I know, so do I."_

She heard him sigh heavily on the other line. "You have to go, don't you?"

"_Yeah, who knows what the hell Rukia could be doing to my room right now...But I'm not gonna hang up, okay?"_

"Well, you can't stay on much longer, long-distance costs a TON of money now," she stated matter-of-factly, wiping her nose with a random tissue before throwing it half-heartedly towards the trash can in the corner of the room. She missed. Shocker.

"_I don't care. Here's what we're gonna do. You're gonna get in your bed and put the phone by your ear, and I'm gonna stay on the line and talk to you until you're asleep. So there."_

"But Ichigo-"

"_I'm using Karin's money anyway."_

"She's gonna maul you."

"_I'll use dad's money, then. You KNOW he won't mind."_

Peyton sighed and slid into bed, plopping the phone onto the pillow dramatically. "There. Your wish is my command, sir. Talk away."

* * *

"_Hi Peyton."_

"Yo."

"_How's your life?"_

"It's getting better."

"_You're welcome!"_

She yawned rather loudly, then smiled. "Thanks, Ichigo."

"_Ahhhh, my bed feels so good. Oh, and you're welcome."_

"You sure you wanna do this?"

"_Peyton, Peyton, Peyton. You always ask the stupidest questions."_

Hours later, they both ended up falling asleep with the phones still on until Ichigo rolled over and pressed a random button.

But at least Peyton slept without any nightmares for the first night in a while.

* * *

**Ichigo: Ha! She's still out cold! ...Well, Mandy anyway. I dunno about Peyton. So not only did i get to tune out this chapp, but i also pigged out on both my share of cake AND her share! ****(turns ninja as footsteps are audible on the random stairs)**

**Still Ichigo: Oh SHIT! I must hide Mandy's body! REVIEW, and these two broads might spare me!**


	37. Learning To Fall

**(Me and Ichigo both have bruises, and Rukia looks extremely pissed in the corner)**

**Rukia: Well, I'm back, so hopefully no more concussions will occur, RIGHT ICHIGO?**

**Ichigo: (whining voice)She STARTED it! I just hit her with my cast a LITTLE BIT, it's not MY fault she has a sensitive head. I always thought she was hard-headed!**

**Me: I AM hard-headed, your cast is just SO FUCKING HEAVY AND HARD, DUMBASS!**

**Rukia: (screeching to be heard over us) BOTH OF YOU STOP FIGHTING LIKE DUMBASSES AND SHUT THE HELL UP!**

**(Camera cuts to Maine, where we see a flock of pelicans and seagulls fly up in a frenzy, dropping their crabs who then cheer Rukia on for letting them live a little longer. It then cuts to Australia, where we see dingos howling on a cliff and shrimp on the barbie cowering in fear whilst being grilled. All in response to Rukia's screeching.)**

**Me and Ichigo: (currently dazed from Rukia's high voice) Ummm...Enjoy...**

* * *

It took Peyton a few minutes to realize the lump pressing into her middle was the phone. Curious, she put it to her ear.

"Hello?"

No answer. _Huh, guess he ended up hanging up after all. So, technically, I win, 'cause I said he was going to. I'll be sure to point this out_, she thought groggily.

She wished she could stay in Sleepy La-La Mode all day, but about the time she and Lindsay got in the cab in Karakura hours later, reality hit her, and it hurt like hell.

So she went straight to her room without another word, and no one bothered her.

As she took the stairs two at a time, Lindsay just nodded sadly at everyone, and they exchanged sighs.

"Dammit. Cameron's always been a lazy deadbeat. He just HAS to be loveable and affect my daughter so strongly," Dad muttered gloomily.

_**

* * *

**__**HOURS LATER...**_

"Peeeyttooon? Are you dead?"

"Yes, Rukia. Go ahead and do Soul Burial now."

But this was _Rukia_ we're talking about, so of course she simply sat beside Peyton cross-legged.

Well, what little bit of Peyton that was visible; she was currently wrapped up in her covers, face-down on a pillow, sprawled out on her bed.

On _top_ of being upset, some old guy on the plane _not only_ sneezed on her, but ended up throwing up due to turbulence, and GUESS who got collateral damage from it?

So yeah. Needless to say, she wasn't exactly the most healthy and happiest kid around at the moment.

Rukia took up residence beside her drawn-up left leg before patting her back not-so-lightly. "Hey, it'll be alright. You can do like Ichigo said, send him a tree. I know where to find one!"

Peyton shifted her head to look at her tiredly. "Really? Where?" She croaked; her voice was surprisingly hoarse.

"Can't tell you. But I brought you something!" She said cheerfully.

"A gun?"

"No."

"Cyanide pills?"

"Nope, not quite."

"A katana?"

"NO."

"A noose and some ninja stars? Acid, perhaps?"

"Okay, your guessing priviledges have officially been revoked."

"Great. Let's add _that_ to my list of reasons to feel suicidal! It can go right below 'I still smell like old-man-barf'!"

"Stop being so dramatic! Just wait till you see this, you're gonna _flip_," Rukia said excitedly as she tore through her pockets.

"Oooh, oooh, is it chocolate?"

"Nope."

"DAMMIT!"

"Wait, wait, I found a Twix in here!" Rukia said triumphantly before plopping the magnificent bar of happiness in Peyton's lap.

She tore through it like Tom Hanks in Cast Away might've done while Rukia pulled out a folded piece of notebook paper.

Peyton eyed it suspiciously as Rukia dropped _it_ in her lap as well. "What's this?"

"Read it. You won't believe it."

* * *

She carefully unfolded it, keeping it at arm's length as if expecting it to explode. "'A Few Reasons I Might, Maybe, Possibly, But Probably Don't Love Peyton'?" She read out loud before eyeing Rukia skeptically.

Was this a joke? No, it was most definitely Ichigo's crappy handwriting.

She read it over, every single one, word for word.

She laughed at #45: **She beat the crap out of my Hollow, and he STILL likes her. I know because he told me so a few nights later when I was in my Inner World teasing him about it.**

The one about his mom made her throat feel weird and her eyes tear up.

"I do NOT spazz out when I sneeze!"

When she finished, Rukia was grinning like mad at her. "This is basically a confession. You _have _to tell him you love him too!"

"He never said he LOVED me!"

"Did you even read that thing? It _reeked_ of love!"

"Rukia, you scare me. I'm seriously considering revoking your romance manga priviledges."

They argued about it for another five minutes, then talked about random stuff. But as soon as Rukia left, Peyton snuck the list out from under her leg and read it again.

And again. And again. And then a couple more times.

And then she checked her phone, which had been charging on her bedside table. Ten missed calls, almost all of them from Ichigo (one was a blocked number and the other was some random chick in her chemistry class), sixteen text messages, and three voicemails from Ichigo.

So of course she listened to them.

One in particular made her face heat up and her stomach flip about eighty times. "_Okiwura just walked in. He looks hungry, his pot belly's jiggling with anger. Which means he might eat me if he sees my phone just sitting randomly on my desk, so...Yeah, I'll leave you another voicemail or something later. I love you_."

She had been grinning about him making fun of Okiwura, but then her face completely fell when the message ended.

The next voicemail was Ichigo spazzing out and trying to say a ninja yell was the cause of it, but it had been clear as day.

He had said The L-Word. Ichigo Kurosaki. Ichigo Kurosaki said he _loved_ her. HER.

So she did the only logical thing to do. She threw her phone across the room and started spazzing out, pacing the room in circles.

"Ohmigod, ohmigod, what do I do now? Should I say it back? Do I _love_ him? Does he even love _me_? I mean, what if it really WAS just an accident, a horrible mistake, and I go and embarrass us both when he doesn't say it back? Wait, do I even love _him_? I mean of course I like him- really REALLY like him...But _love_? RRRAAAAAHHHHH!" She cried out with a groan before screaming into a pillow with frustration.

This was way too much for one day. And, on top of that, it started storming outside, and her hair instantly started popping out in random places.

So she sat up miserably, and was staring out the window when she got an idea.

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

Ichigo was pretty miffed when he found out Peyton would talk to Rukia and not him. "I mean, c'mon, I ended up having to pay over $80 with Karin's allowance last night! That should count for something!"

"Isn't Peyton's joy and peaceful sleep last night reward enough?" Isshin replied, lifting up a hand dramatically as if he were reciting Shakespeare.

Ichigo sweatdropped. "Well, yeah, but I was hoping I'd get _other_ stuff out of it, too..."

Yuzu and Karin sighed and shook their heads. "You expect _way_ too much. You're not The World's Best Boyfriend, you know!"

He considered hitting Karin with his cast after she stuck her tongue out at him, but then he smirked. They were all going to the store, so it'd be just him and Rukia, but Rukia was "taking a walk". Which, of course, translated into "Going to see Renji, and Filling-Fiction better not get wind of this."

"No wild parties, keep the booze locked in the cabinet," Karin commented before jumping out of his way as he swung his hand towards the back of her head.

He had just gotten a slice of some cake he had stolen from his friend, WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED, and his butt had JUST BARELY touched the couch cushion when there were three quick knocks on the door.

This made him cautiously eye the door, because hardly anyone bothered to knock anymore. EXCEPT...Jehova's Witnesses.

"Ahhhh, crap," he said with a groan of regret as he rose, set the cake down, and headed towards the front door.

"No, I do _not_ care to hear about your religion," he commented as he opened the door, expecting the worst. But it was Peyton.

"Oh. So you ARE back."

It was raining, with thunder and everything, and she was soaking wet. With her hair sticking out in random spots like that, she looked like she had just escaped from a mental ward. But she didn't seem to mind as she bombarded him with a hug, kissing him on his cheek, mouth, other random places.

Obviously he had done something really, really, REALLY good today.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! Those voicemails were just what I needed to make me much less suicidal," she said cheerfully against his neck.

Ichigo grinned at her as she pulled away. "What the hell's gotten into you?"

She simply handed him two pieces of paper. He eyed her suspiciously. "What're these?"

"Just read them."

* * *

He unfolded the one on top, then looked at her in horror. "How'd you get this?"

"I'm not at liberty to say."

"Rukia?"

"Yep."

Ichigo sweatdropped, then looked at the second one. "A Few Reasons I Might, Maybe, Possibly, But Probably Don't Love Ichigo'?"

She just shut the door behind her and headed for his den. "I'm hungry."

"Ha!" Was his reply. This list was interesting. A sampling:

**1. He wrote down a list just like this one. About me of all people.**

**6. When he looks at me, just looks at me, it makes my stomach all flippy.**

**12. If I ever need a break from him, I can just make sure he's struck by lightning again. It shouldn't be too hard.**

**15. He made a tampon run for me. And bought them with his own money. And apparently didn't say anything smart when the clerk looked at him weird!**

**16. He probably made up the story above, about not saying anything smart. He lives off of being a smart-ass. Which is good, 'cause so do I.**

**19. The way that when he's pissed off or annoyed (or jealous), he always stabs the hell out of Rukia/Matsumoto's juice boxes with the straws, then denies it ever happened.**

**25. He got me a gold necklace for my early birthday, JUST because he thought Keigo got me the other one. **

**26. You'd think the above story would just mean he's extremely competitive, but the point is that I did the same thing. He'll find out come Christmas.**

**27. After he reads #26, he'll annoy me to no end trying to guess what I'm talking about.**

**31. He really does care about his family a lot. If you don't believe me, I've got at least eight incidences in which you can clearly see he does.**

**34. He makes me even more spastic than usual.**

**39. He's easily impressed by my COD skills. Even though I do so totally OWN that game...**

**46. He's seen all of Kevin Smith's movies, so he's pretty much the only one who gets my references to them. Tragic, really. They should have a Kevin Smith Ed in Karakura schools. Although...they'd have to do a lot of censoring...A LOT of censoring.**

**52. I found out yesterday my godfather would spend more-or-less the rest of his life in prison. Instead of continuing to mope about it, I'm writing this list about my boyfriend. Does that tell you something?**

**56. Even his Hollow side still has a heart. Scary, isn't it? **

**57. Speaking of Hollow Ichigo, apparently he still likes me. Ichigo insists his Hollow is his perverted side, but to be honest, I think their perverted levels are equal. His Hollow's just more blunt about it.**

**62. My mom would love him, too. She'd probably be like Isshin and be making baby charts. In fact, they could've worked on them together. It'd be horrifying, but it's true. Don't believe me? Ask Lindsay about Devon, and ask Seth about Madison.**

**65. I'd be willing to change the lock combination on our gun safe, unleashing the full wrath of my dad, just for him. How bad would his wrath be, you ask? Let's just say he'd start hunting redheads instead of deer.**

**67. I've sat a whole day in Animal Kingdom, watching his body while he battled a Hollow, and accepted every single comment on how "We're so sorry your boyfriend died out of the blue like that. It's all over the parks!". And helped him lug home every single shrine item and souvenir. How good am I?**

**69. Heheheheheh, I'm on #69! Anyway. He's let me cry on him on more than one occasion, he's killed a giant spider for me, he's fended off Hollows, almost died for me, taken all of Isshin and his sisters' teasing and such, stayed on the phone LONG DISTANCE all night for me, saved my life at least twice, and a couple days ago, he said he loved me via voicemail. Need I go on?**

**70. Well, I'm gonna go on anyway. He had 115 reasons on his list, so I'm gonna have 115 on mine.**

**115. Well, that was a lot easier than I thought. I don't even know why I had to write this list to convince myself. Although, I guess it's only fair. He didn't need to write his list either, apparently. **

**Oh, and also? I'm hungry. **

* * *

"_Told_ _you_ I was hungry," Peyton commented after sneaking a few bites of the cake. "Hey, where'd you get this cake, anyway?"

"...Um...Nowhere..." He said mysteriously, shifting his eyes around suspiciously. Peyton shrugged, and he sweatdropped. "I love how you just eat that cake without even asking."

"Ichigo, can I have some of your cake?"

"Why, of COURSE, Peyton."

"See? THAT'S why, I already know the answer," she said cheerfully before eating another bite.

He watched her, thinking. That was some list. She even admitted he had a hot bod in there! He had also noticed a couple wet marks by the one about her mom, #62.

"Hey Peyton?"

"Hmm?"

"Guess what?"

"Oooh, Oooh, chocolate?"

"No. I love you."

* * *

She was so caught off-guard she dropped the fork onto the plate not-so-gracefully. She looked over and up at him, as if making sure he was serious. "...What did you just say?"

"I. Love. You."

"What?"

"I love you?"

"Hold on, say it one more time."

"I love you."

"Oh. Okay. Sorry, just checking to make sure I heard you right," she muttered while pinching her arm a few times.

Ichigo was trying really hard not to laugh. "..Uh...Peyton? What're you doing?"

"Nothing, nothing. Just checking to make sure I'm not hallucinating. I've done that before."

She stared down at her pinched arm in amazement. "Ichigo, you just said you loved me. Again. And you didn't blame it on a ninja this time!"

"There's still time to do that if you want."

"No thanks, I'm good. Are you sure I didn't just imagine that? You'd tell me, right?"

"Yes, Peyton. You imagined that."

She drooped, the background turning depressing. "Knew it!"

Ichigo sweatdropped, laughed, and pulled her closer. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. You didn't imagine it. I love you."

She rested her head against his collarbone. "Wow. I never thought we'd be like this. Y'know, touching without harmful intentions. Or this sappy. Kind of creepy, isn't it?"

"Kinda."

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Ichigo?"

"Huh?"

"How about now?"

"How about now what?"

"Do you still love me now?"

"Yes, Peyton. Just like the last three times you asked me that. And in the next five minutes, just a guess, but yes, I'll still love you."

"Oh. That's good, 'cause I love you too."

That made both their stomachs flip for some reason, even thought they both knew she was going to eventually say that.

"You know, I was serious about my mom. She'd really love you."

"I was serious about my mom, too. She'd really love you and humiliate us too," Peyton replied sleepily. "Seriously, Ichigo, where'd you get this cake? I feel drugged."

"I think that's called drowsiness."

"No no no, I feel drugged. I know it!"

"Trust me, if you were drugged, you'd know."

"I _do _know, were you not paying attention?"

Ichigo laughed and shook his head. "You're not drugged, you're just tired and don't wanna admit it."

She huffed. "..Well, MAYBE."

He tilted her head up by her chin, and they had just started kissing when they heard a very formal voice say, "Well. I do hope we aren't interrupting something."

* * *

**Me: (points at Ichigo and laughs) HA! SO BUSTED!**

**Ichigo: Oh, shut the FUCK UP! (plops onto the ground and crosses his arms like a toddler. sighs and uses whiny voice) I never get to kiss her anymore, someone's always interrupting! Dammit! **

**Me: (narrows eyes) It's karma for stealing MY CAKE! As revenge, Rukia and Renji's makeout sessions have now found their way on "Filling-Fiction", as you can see. Byakuya's gonna beat the shit out of you! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Ichigo: HEY, PEYTON ATE IT!**

**Me: Yeah, but i like Peyton. Everybody likes Peyton! Well, except for the bad guys. Wherever they might be. They're not very common lately, are they?**

**Ichigo: (whacks me with his cast) DON'T JINX IT! FUCK!**

**Me: (wobbling, about to pass out) Owwww...I'm telling on you!**

**Ichigo: (suddenly really nice) I'm sorry...It was an accident! Hollow Ichigo did that! **

**Me: (evil grin, background turns evil, creepy organ music plays) Well, then. I'll just have to beat the shit out of BOTH OF YOU AND HOPE HE GETS THE MESSAGE!**

**Ichigo: HELP! REVIEW AND HELP! AHHHHHH!**

**Hollow Ichigo: (thinking) That chick scares the shit outta me, man.**

**Ichigo: I know! Fuck!**


	38. Crack A Bottle

**Me: Wow...We officially as of now have 123 reviews! Awesome!**

**Ichigo: (more or less beaten to a pulp) ...Yeah...Great...**

**Me: (eye-roll) I'll get you some more cake later, okay?**

**Ichigo: 123 REVIEWS ARE MAGNIFICENT!**

**Me: That's what i thought. Also, i would like to apologize for the intense randomness and slight OOC-ness in this chapp. I've had a lot of soda these past couple of hours..!**

**Ichigo: It's true. It was terrifying!**

**Me:Hey, Watch it!**

* * *

Ichigo and Peyton slowly turned to look towards the voice, temples throbbing angrily. It was Byakuya, and he wasn't alone.

"...That vein in Peyton's forehead is growing at a rather alarming rate.." Toshiro commented, making her temple throb even more.

Rukia and Renji looked just as annoyed, an angry flush still on Rukia's features, and...was that a black eye starting to form on Renji's right eye?

Matsumoto and Urahara clinked their bottles together as they put a ton of assorted alcohol on Ichigo's coffee table, making him and Peyton sweatdrop and perk up in one fluid motion.

"We brought happiness in multiple different-colored bottles!" Matsumoto announced happily. Byakuya and Toshiro's temples throbbed.

"Lieutenant, perhaps you should keep in the mind the reason we're all here," Byakuya commented icily.

"It would help if we _knew _why we were here. You were too pissed off at Renji and Rukia to explain that," Matsumoto replied smoothly.

Toshiro sweatdropped as Byakuya turned about five different colors. "In case you have not noticed, my lieutenant is slightly intoxicated, Byakuya."

"Slightly?" Peyton and Urahara commented at the same time, exchanging a fist-bump and making Ichigo sweatdrop.

Rukia's temple throbbed. "Will you all _please _just let Byakuya say his piece? I'd _really _like for him to be on his way.."

"I'm sure Ichigo would, too. He seemed _plenty _occupied when we showed up," Urahara replied cheerfully.

Peyton simply sighed as she held Ichigo back by his shirt, making his temple throb even more. "Lemme at him, just ONE HIT, Peyton!"

"NO. We'll by watching you two go back and forth all damn night!"

Ichigo finally huffed moodily and sat back down. "You got lucky, Hat-And-Clogs." Urahara beamed admiringly at Ichigo's still-sweatdropping girlfriend. "Peyton, my dear, by dating that fool, you're saving a lot of asses!"

"SILENCE!" Byakuya finally snapped, making everyone jump. Peyton and Urahara blinked up at him innocently.

"Fine. We'll let the pretty man say his piece," Urahara said as he flopped down between Ichigo and Peyton, much to their dislike.

"He's _soooo _wasted," Peyton mouthed behind the shopkeeper's head to Ichigo, who snickered in agreement.

"Now, I brought you all here because.."

_**CREEEAAAKK.**_

"Is this the right place?" One man hissed to the other four. "Of course it is! Look, it's _loaded _with valuables!" the other replied in a "duh" voice.

The Soul Reapers (and Peyton) sweatdropped at least three times each at the amateur burglars.

One of the guys bringing up the rear of the group poked the brainless leader. "Um, boss...It's full of _people_, too..."

They all stared wide-eyed at the shinigami and the two teens on the couch.

Everyone stared back.

Urahara giggled behind his fan, swaying back and forth against the two aforementioned teens rather drunkenly.

_**

* * *

**_

_**TWO ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Now that _that _business has been settled..." Byakuya began after "disposing" of the burglars. (Here meaning beating them to a pulp and depositing them in the nearest alley)

Before he could continue, there were several knocks on the front door. The noble held back a sigh as he looked to Ichigo, who then sweatdropped and went to open the door.

"Didn't know Soul Reapers were incapable of opening my front door themselves.." He muttered moodily before making a weird noise at whatever was behind the door.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE ALL _YOU GUYS _DOING HERE?"

Renji pushed the door open a little further, and it swung out to reveal lots of people in robes. At least ten.

Question marks _**DING-DING-DING**_**'ed **over Peyton's head, and the Soul Reapers she already knew sweatdropped.

"What the hell?" Renji wondered.

"Our meeting room's being remodeled. Plus, we decided if Kuchiki here wanted to punish Renji for having men's needs, why not annoy Ichigo in the process?" A man in a rather pink and flowery robe explained cheerfully.

Ichigo's temple throbbed. "Great job, jackass. You succeeded."

"Who's that?"

"Shunsui, Captain of the 8th Division," he explained quietly, obviously annoyed. Quite frankly, so was she.

Although, she never would've thought she'd see so many Soul Reapers in one place, much less Ichigo's house.

Byakuya, however, was livid. "What are all of you doing here, Captains?"

"You...sent us a memo about it..?" Another one replied in a "duh" tone.

"Mayuri, 12th Division. Possibly the sickest Soul Reaper around," Ichigo explained in an even quieter tone before Peyton could even ask.

Urahara started giggling again. "Man, Kurosaki, that's so true! Mayuri...you ARE the sickest one around!"

The aforementioned Captain stared at Ichigo, and the background shifted a little more ominously. "...What did he just say, Kurosaki?"

"Nothing, he said absolutely nothing. He's just wasted, don't mind this asshole," Ichigo said quickly, and Peyton sweatdropped. "Nice save."

Her voice caught the Captains' attentions. "Who is THAT?" Shunsui asked excitedly.

* * *

Urahara was the first to answer, and waved his fan a little faster. "Why, _Peyton_, of course! Ichigo's _giiiiiirrrlllfrriiiieeennnddd_!" He explained with another fit of laughter, followed by a hiccup. Ichigo promptly whacked him across the face with a couch pillow, making him fall face-first on Peyton's lap. Her temple throbbed as he started mumbling something, and shoved his head back upright.

Byakuya, meanwhile, was pacing, and finally sighed heavily. "Damn. That stupid new secretary must have dictated it wrong! I was only meeting with Captain Hitsugaya, Lieutenant Matsumoto, Rukia Kuchiki, Ichigo Kurosaki, and Renji Abarai."

"Well then why the hell is HE here?" Ichigo asked, pointing at Urahara, who was currently rambling off random facts about Peyton for the Captains. Shunsui was actually taking notes, much to Peyton and Ichigo's annoyance.

Everyone sweatdropped, including Byakuya. "Yes, why ARE you here, Kisuke?"

Urahara abruptly stopped naming facts and stowed his fan matter-of-factly. "People taking up residence in my shop were trying to leave without me noticing. Normally, I wouldn't care, but I noticed Matsumoto had alcohol, so of course I followed her. We're now drinking buddies!" He exclaimed happily, trying to get the lieutenant to clink glasses with him.

Unfortunately, Matsumoto was a lot more sober, and she just sweatdropped. Urahara very nearly fell over, and Peyton sweatdropped too as she noticed quite a few of the Captains inspecting her with their eyes.

"Um...Hi?"

"Oh my, she's lovely!" A dark-haired woman with a long braid in front murmured. Both Peyton and Ichigo's temples throbbed as Shunsui gave the latter a rather suggestive thumbs-up.

Just when she thought things couldn't get any weirder or more confusing, the front door opened, and they could hear Isshin and his daughters talking.

* * *

"...And I just KNOW we needed more sour cream, even though Ichigo INSISTED we didn't, so I hope you don't mind I snuck that into the...cart..." Yuzu trailed off as she noticed all the robed men (and occasional women) in her house.

"...DAAAADDD?"

Karin walked into view next, and she sweatdropped. "Ichigo, I thought I said no wild parties..?" She then noticed all the bottles on the coffee table, and perked up, practically diving for them.

"IS THAT BOOZE?"

"No, Karin, it's prune juice, don't drink that!" Peyton and Ichigo shouted at the same time. Everyone else sweatdropped as the two proceeded to try and convince her for another couple of minutes that it wasn't booze.

Finally, she put the bottle down with a heavy sigh. "You can't have any wild parties without alcohol...Jeez, Ichigo, don't you know anything?"

Ichigo's temple throbbed, but he said nothing as she trudged up the stairs, and Peyton leaned behind Urahara to whisper to Ichigo.

"I thought Yuzu couldn't see spirits?"

"She just sees their outlines, basically," he replied. Peyton nodded and attempted to return to her original position, but Urahara abruptly leaned back, squashing her in the process.

He spazzed out, yelling, "HOLY SHIT, A BUG!". He then realized it was in fact Peyton and started laughing. "Hahahahaha! That's so damn funny!"

And with that, he hiccuped once, let Peyton move, leaned back, put his hat completely over his eyes, and was snoring in seconds.

Everyone sweatdropped. Matsumoto started singing some random song rather drunkenly, and Shunsui was now helping himself to the massive alcohol collection.

"It seems...there are more intoxicated shinigami present than I originally thought," Toshiro stated.

And THAT was when Isshin walked in and saw them all there. He simply sighed dramatically and shook his head.

"...I would really like to know where you've been storing all this alcohol, son. It would have saved me a lot of restocking!"


	39. Glasses and Thin Doors

**Ichigo: That last chapter was THE randomest thing I've ever read.**

**Me: (shrugs) Ehhh, I've written randomer.**

**Rukia: (excited) Yeah, but it was one hell of a good night!**

**Ichigo: What, did Renji score or something?**

**Rukia: GO TO HELL!**

**Me and Ichigo: (sneaky perverted grins) THAT'S a yes.**

**Rukia: NO IT ISN'T! GO AWAY!**

**Me: Sorry, no can do. I'm eating cake.**

**Rukia: Your point being?**

**Me: Tch, like I know. Anyway, enjoy!**

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****HOURS LATER...**_

"Now, as to what I wanted to speak about..." Byakuya began, AGAIN. Peyton and Ururu glanced up from the mess they were sweeping up as the noble paused.

She couldn't blame him; every time he tried to say something along those lines, something random happened and everyone got distracted.

Since Peyton wasn't a Soul Reaper and therefore not any of his meeting's concern, she was currently cleaning up Urahara and the other Captains' messes. Ururu was helping her after randomly showing up to drag the intoxicated shopkeeper home, and until they were done, he was passed out on the floor and snoring rather loudly.

Byakuya smirked smugly when no one interrupted him (finally), and continued. "I need you to be on high alert. One of our noble houses, Miyamoto, has been threatened several times in the past few weeks."

"Miyamoto?" Matsumoto repeated groggily, still slightly disoriented from all her "happiness in many different-colored bottles".

"How come that name sounds familiar, yet _doesn't _ring a bell at the same time?"

"Your rank isn't _high _enough for the name to ring a bell, Lieutenant," was Byakuya's cold reply.

Peyton really didn't like that guy sometimes.

"So...What, you want us to protect 'em?" Ichigo asked. She could tell all he really wanted was to go to sleep; he was cranky as hell.

"Most of the Miyamoto house has already been secretly transported to a safehouse in the outskirts of Soul Society," he continued as if Ichigo hadn't said anything.

This just made him even crankier, and Peyton hoped she wouldn't end up keeping him from going all homicidal on anyone. Again.

"Only the family's head and a few of his more capable children have stayed behind, to uphold the Miyamoto House's duties and rebuke any suspicion that might give away our plan. If the Miyamoto family receives any more threats, it may be necessary for you all to escort the members left behind to an even _safer_ safehouse."

"And if nothing happens, you took _all _this time, gave me this _black eye_, got some Soul Reapers _drunk_, scared some human robbers _shitless_, AND kept us all up later than we'd like...for nothing," Renji clarified.

"...Stay on high alert," was Byakuya's brilliant reply. And with that, he just up and left. Just like the other captains had ten minutes ago.

* * *

They all looked at each other. Ururu swept up the last of the glass. Urahara giggled in his sleep. Isshin (Urahara's OTHER drinking buddy) snored extra loudly, knocking the lampshade on his head almost completely off.

Matsumoto hopped up, and Peyton smirked tiredly as Ichigo dodged the lieutenant's boobs, which flew right for him.

"Well, _I'm _ready to go home. I'll help you carry the body, Ururu."

"Just remember not to bury it in the backyard. He's not dead _yet_," Ichigo warned.

Renji nodded. "Yeah, don't want a repeat of LAST time, do we?"

Matsumoto waved them off, causing her to stumble. She blew her strawberry-blonde locks out of her mouth, but they ended up right back in there anyway. "Yeah, Yeah. It happened ONE TIME! Jeez. Nearly bury someone alive _once_, and people _never_ let it go."

Peyton sweatdropped, and Rukia just shook her head at her confused expression. "Some things you're better off not knowing, Peyton."

Karin and Yuzu had went to bed forever ago while a Soul Reaper Captain Drink-Fest raged on downstairs for another five hours. How did Byakuya let this happen, you ask?

Apparently blackmail is one of the many things Earth and Soul Society have in common.

As they watched Matsumoto and Ururu drag Urahara home (Toshiro was leading the way, "supervising") with fresh sweatdrops, Isshin started to stir.

"Ah, Masaki...That was _almost_ as wild as our honeymoon.."

This, of course, made Ichigo do the Spazzy Wet Noodle dance. "DAD, WHAT THE HELL! TMI, TMI, TMI!"

Renji and Rukia ran for the front door. "Uhhh, Renji, maybe I should make sure you get home safely!"

"Good idea, Rukia!"

"GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!" They shouted before bolting out the door. Peyton tapped the door with her pointer finger, sweatdropping, and it slowly shut as she watched Ichigo and Isshin get in another perverted argument.

"Why...the HELL...would you go and say something like that, dad?"

"Son, if you had BEEN there, you would understand-"

"Thank God I wasn't born yet! Damn! Ugh, all those mental images frying my brain...Jeez!"

"Well, you know what? Years from now, the same thing will happen to you and your kids, I guarantee it, son! Hopefully, unlike your beloved mother, Peyton will still be with us and you may share a secretive wink, just like Masaki and I would have..."

"I've said it millions of times, and I'll say it again...is the baby planning REALLY necessary?"

"GUYS!" Peyton shouted, her voice much louder than she thought it would've been. Oh well, the two idiots shut up and neither sister seemed to have woken up from it, so it didn't really matter.

They blinked innocently at her, and her temple throbbed. "In case you haven't noticed, it's past three in the morning. Ichigo, you're pissy. Isshin, you're hungover. How about we all just go to separate rooms and..just.._chill_?" She suggested, widening her brown eyes innocently at them.

When it came to looking innocent in the Kurosaki house, Peyton was the master.

Isshin immediately agreed with her. Of course.

"Ah, Peyton, excellent idea! Quick thinking, I like that. Son, go to bed! It's past three in the morning!" He bellowed, deciding _now_ was the time to play the role of the Responsible Parent.

Ichigo just rolled his eyes before going upstairs, and Peyton bounded up behind him.

"I'll see you both in the morning!" Isshin shouted cheerfully.

"Psh, try the afternoon," Peyton muttered as she headed for Yuzu's room. Even that familiar pallet on the floor was sounding pretty inviting. THAT'S how tired she was.

But out of nowhere Ichigo's good hand grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her in the opposite direction.

Peyton sighed in annoyance, looking longingly at Yuzu's door. "Dammit, Kurosaki, I'm fricking _tired_."

"Well then sleep in here," he said in a "duh" tone.

She blinked in surprise. "...Oh. Okay."

Sadly, her surprise was also in her _tone_, and this made him smirk. Dammit. "I threw Peyton off? Really? I feel so important now."

"Really? I feel so _tired _now."

"But I'm still important."

"Hardly."

"I see how it is. See if _you_ get anything for Christmas."

"You and I both know I'm getting _plenty_ for Christmas," she said with an eye-roll as she flopped onto his bed, and he followed suit.

Now that she thought of it, the last time she had laid here was the day she started getting paranoid in her own shower.

And now, she was _still_ paranoid in her own shower. But still.

"You know what?"

"What?"

"I feel kind of sorry for those burglars."

"Burglars? Who the hell says 'burglars' anymore, Peyton?"

She turned on her side to look at him, eyes wide with interest. "Have you _never_ been to McDonald's?"

"Who _hasn't_ been to McDonald's?"

"Apparently you."

"Of course I've been to McDonald's! You were _with_ me a couple times, moron!"

"Really? Huh. Oh, yeah, now I remember! Well then how come you don't remember the HamBURGLAR? Dude!"

"Oh, wait, WAAAIITT...yeeaaaahhh, _I_ remember that guy! He looked like a mini-Zorro kind of thing, only on a whole creepier new level?"

"Yeah, that's it, that's the one! Jeez, NOW who's the moron..."

"But...Wait...That still doesn't answer my question."

"Which one?"

"About who says burglar anymore."

"Oh. That one?"

"Yeah."

"That's easy! Me."

Ichigo rollled his eyes. "Wow, that was the biggest waste of my time EVER."

She rolled her eyes right back and kissed him. "Glad to know I'm so appreciated, Ichigo."

"You're welcome."

"Mmhmm."

"I love you."

"And for some weird reason, I love you too."

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

Peyton heard whispering. Why was she hearing whispering? This was never a good sign.

She should probably open her eyes and figure out what that noise was. But...she was soooo...comfy...!

_Screw it, I'll just tune it out_, she thought as she buried herself further in the pillow and hogged some more of the covers.

But then she was able to actually _understand_ the whispering. Unfortunately.

"Yuzu, this is unbelievable! They're progressing at a _much _faster rate than I had calculated!"

A sigh that was undeniably Yuzu's was heard from nearby. "I know. Papa, isn't it romantic? I can't even _see_ it and it's romantic!"

"Yes, yes, of course. I need to record this on my Chart right away!"

"Papa, wait! Don't you wanna eavesdrop? Maybe they're awake! They could be talking about baby-making RIGHT NOW, and we'd never know!"

"...Ah! You're quite right, Yuzu dear! Why don't you go grab the glasses from the kitchen cabinet?"

"Aye-aye!"

She heard the pattering of Yuzu's feet as she bounded down the stairs, and Isshin tapping his foot impatiently.

"I take it you're awake."

* * *

Peyton jumped so hard she nearly rolled off the bed, making Ichigo snicker. She rolled over to glare at him. "A bit, yeah. Did you hear all that?"

"A bit, yeah."

"Hey, that's _my_ phrase."

"No it isn't."

"I just said it!"

"That doesn't mean it's _your_ phrase."

"Yes it does!"

"I thought 'Yo' was your phrase."

"That one, too."

"You can only have one."

"Says _who_?"

"That's the rules. It's in the Phrase Handbook. Did you never read that?"

"...I never got one.."

"Huh. Must've been faulty delivery or something."

"Well, either way, 'Yo' is my WORD, not my phrase. From now on, 'A bit, yeah' is my PHRASE. So...NEH."

"Are you sure you wanna go through with this? Once you choose a phrase, there's no turning back, Peyton," he said rather seriously.

She tapped her fingers lightly on his cast in thought, bit her lower lip, then finally sighed. "Fiiinneee...I _guess_ I'll let you have it.."

"Oh, I don't want it. I was just seeing if YOU wanted it."

"Oh. Well now I REALLY don't want it!"

"Cool beans."

"Is that _your _phrase?"

Before he could even roll his eyes, they heard Yuzu running towards his door, and the clinking of glasses.

"Are you ready, Papa?"

They heard Isshin giggle mischieviously. "Ready? I was BORN ready!"

"Okay!"

Ichigo flashed a sneaky grin at her. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

She gazed up at the ceiling thoughtfully. "Probably...Is it perverted? Oh...Wait, _I_ know!" She returned the sneaky grin. "I totally am!"

* * *

Yuzu was about to put her glass against the door, but the look on Papa's face made her pause.

She watched as his expression turned from shock, to mischievous, to excited, to delighted, and back to shock again.

"Um...Papa...What exactly are they _saying_?" She finally asked. He immediately sprang up, all flustered.

"Er, Yuzu, I'm quite hungry. Why don't you be a wonderful daughter and fix us all some breakfast!"

"But it's Saturday, and Ichigo usually-"

"Ichigo's busy!" He said happily, practically throwing her down the stairs. As she got the oven heated up, she stared at the ceiling where Ichigo's room was located.

"Hmmm...What could they possibly be doing?" She said thoughtfully.

* * *

As soon as he heard the familiar sounds of Yuzu busying herself in the kitchen, he sprinted back up the stairs.

"I'll just check on Karin...I won't go anywhere NEAR my son's door...It's not any of my business what they're doing..."

Isshin DID manage to check on Karin (sleeping peacefully- she looked so innocent when she wasn't criticizing him...), but curiosity and pervertedness was just overwhelming him.

He couldn't help it! "It's beyond my control!" He exclaimed while practically tripping over himself to get to Ichigo's door.

He spastically gripped the glass in his hand and pressed it against the door. Yes, no mistaking it; moaning.

Not that he needed a glass to hear it; Peyton was obviously unconcerned with how thin his son's door was.

At first, he wondered if perhaps she was sick, and decided he should check it out. His hand was actually_ on the knob_, but then he froze.

Ichigo was moaning too.

Isshin jumped back from the door as if it had burnt him. "Could they be...Is it possible...?"

He heard heavy footsteps, and turned to see Karin groggily heading downstairs. He shrugged, then giggled pervertedly before pressing his ear back against the glass.

* * *

Karin pretended not to notice her father; God only knew what that dude did with his spare time.

Besides; Ichigo would kick his ass anyway, so it wasn't like _she_ had any responsibility when it came to keeping her father in line.

But when she saw Yuzu staring at the ceiling worriedly, a pan carelessly gripped in her right hand, a red flag went up.

"Hey."

"...Good morning.."

"Okay, what's up? I'm used to dad acting weird, but how come _you're_ acting weird too?"

Yuzu looked at Karin worriedly. "Ichigo and Peyton slept in the same room last night, and Papa and I were going to eavesdrop, like we usually do when they're alone and think we don't know...But before I could listen, he made me go downstairs and hogged Ichigo's door to himself...I wonder what they could be doing..?"

Karin blinked at her sister, sweatdropping. "...Yuzu...just how naïve ARE you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Let's review here, sis. Okay, two hormonal lovestruck teenagers...alone in a room...with a bed...and dad won't let you listen...Jeez, whaddaya THINK they're doing?"

Yuzu stared at her blankly, but then it slowly dawned on her.

"...Ohhhhh! Ohmigoodness!"

"I KNOW!"

"We have GOT to go listen!"

"Duh."

"C'mon, Karin!" Yuzu more-or-less squealed as she grabbed her sister's wrist and dragged her up the stairs.

Before their dad could even protest, their ears were pressed against the door, eyes wide.

* * *

"Un-_freaking_-believable. Stupid giant left his door LOCKED last night!" Rukia grumbled to herself as she headed for the upstairs bathroom, scratching her shoulder moodily.

She was about to take her morning potty break when she noticed Isshin, Karin, and Yuzu all piled up in front of Ichigo's door, ears pressed tightly against it.

Rukia sweatdropped. "Uhh...What the hell are you guys _doing_?"

"SHHH!" They all immediately hissed before returning to staring in wonder at the door. Her temple throbbed as she stomped over to the door. "What the HELL could POSSIBLY be so..."

She trailed off. Was that...moaning and sighing she heard?

And it did NOT sound like normal moans and sighs.

Her face twisted into some strange expression of mixed emotions. She pointed a single tiny finger at the wooden portal of horrors. "Are...Are they.."

"Hell yeah!" Was Karin's reply. Isshin didn't even comment on her language, he was so absorbed.

"You missed the dirty talk," Yuzu said matter-of-factly.

Rukia did the Spazzy Wet Noodle dance almost better than Ichigo. "W-W-WHAT? YUZU, YOU TOO?"

* * *

It was hard to keep from laughing while they were making all these perverted noises. They had to stop the dirty talk, because they started turning red and sweating from the effort of not laughing uncontrollably.

"My dad's gonna treat us awesome for a good three months after this," he said in her ear.

That was really the only way they could talk between noises, since his door was so thin; in their ears. Not that either one minded, but still.

"Well, treat YOU awesome. He'll treat me awesome-ER," she replied matter-of-factly. Peyton then glanced at his alarm clock.

"Hey, it's almost been an hour. Should we stop now?"

"Yeah, my throat hurts like hell."

"Same. I forfeit."

"Same."

"There you go using _my _words again!"

They heard muttering as the eavesdroppers tried to figure out if they were done or not, and they finally heard creaking on the stairs.

She waited until all creaking ceased, then burst into laughter. Ichigo wasn't far behind, and soon they couldn't stop.

"That was...by FAR..our most perverted stunt EVER," she said between laughs.

"And one of...the...most epic!"

"Tot-hahahahaha!...Totally!"

After they finally calmed down, both fell back against their pillows. "Jeez, I'm almost as tired as I would be if we actually DID do it," Ichigo said tiredly.

She just nodded, and for a while the only sound was their heavy breathing.

"...Hey Ichigo?"

"Yeah?"

"You've asked me plenty of awkward and perverted questions since we met, right?"

"Definitely."

"So it's only fair if I get to ask _one _right now. Right?"

"I...guess? Where are you going with this?" He asked with a nervous laugh. Peyton didn't blame him; SHE didn't know where she was going with things half the time.

"Do you ever think about it?"

"About what?"

She sighed impatiently. "Making a PB&J sandwich. Us doing it, genius!"

* * *

"...Ohhh. Well then, yeah, a couple times."

"Oh."

"Have you?"

"Um..W-Well, I, uh.."

"THAT'S a yes," he said with that stupid smirk on his face.

Her temple throbbed. "Okay, fine, yes. No need to rub it in or anything."

"Can I ask you something?"

"No."

"Really?"

"No, go ahead."

"Right, thought so. What do you think would happen if...y'know, we DID do it?"

She flushed a little. "Well...if we DID do it...I guess Isshin might have kittens from sheer excitement.."

That weak-knee-inducing half-smile returned on Ichigo's face. "I kinda meant between you and me."

"Well, you see, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much.."

He looked at her, his half-smile growing. "Peyton, you're stalling," he said in a sing-song voice.

Her temple throbbed. "Am not."

"Are so."

"Am NOT."

"Then answer the question."

"Can you repeat the question-in-question?"

He rolled his eyes. "If you and me DID do it, how different would things be between us, do you think?"

"Oh. Well...Hm. I dunno. Pretty different, I guess. Wait, _why_ are you _asking_ me this?"

"I dunno. _Why_ aren't you _answering_ my questions?"

"I dunno."

"Oh, okay, thanks for clearing that up."

"No problem. I'm here to help!"

"You're doing a spectacularly crappy job."

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it. So, how would things be different? You never explained that one."

Peyton huffed moodily; it was obvious she wasn't getting out of this one. "Well...I guess in several ways. It'd definitely make things interesting...But then again, it'd be harder to let go of each other if we broke up or something.."

Ichigo sweatdropped. "You're so optimistic. How DO you do it?"

* * *

She rolled her eyes, and he continued to stare at her. "What makes you think we'll break up?"

"I dunno. I just know it happens."

"That doesn't mean it WILL happen."

"True, but love doesn't last."

"What about old people?"

"What ABOUT old people?"

"They're not always alone, are they? And besides, the main reason you see old people alone is because the other one died."

"See?"

"But the love's still there," he pointed out.

"Yeah, sure. But it makes it seem like love is basically chilling until the other person dies, and then you're more-or-less screwed!"

"That didn't happen to your dad."

Her eyes immediately fell to look at her hand, which was currently tracing an invisible pattern on his sheets. "Yeah, I guess it didn't, but..."

He grabbed hold of one of her fingers before tracing an invisible pattern along her wrist and forearm.

"Sorry if that came off wrong. But what I meant was...It's not half as complicated as you think it is. I love you. You love me."

She glanced up at him. "_Please_ tell me you're not quoting Barney."

He sweatdropped. "Noooo...As I was saying?"

"Oh. Right. Sorry, I got distracted."

"I see that. Anyway. I love you and you love me. And I don't plan on breaking up with you. And hopefully you don't plan on breaking up with me."

She looked up at him again. "Nope, that's not on my to-do list. Oh, wait...were you done?"

"And you have a short attention span. And my cast is itchy. And your eyes are really distracting me. And I..Crap, I just lost my train of thought. Dammit, Peyton!"

She blinked innocently. "I can't help it that I have amazing eyes."

He rolled his eyes- which in her opinion were cooler since you could actually _see_ HIS pupils- and kissed her temple.

"I think that's the most serious conversation we've ever had."

"I think you're right. It was quite unsettling, Kurosaki."

"Indeed. Let's agree not to have many of those ever again."

"Agreed. We should probably get up now."

"Probably."

"We're not, are we?"

"Nope."

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Crap!" Peyton muttered as she sat up.

"What?" Ichigo asked groggily.

"I have to pee."

"Well then go pee!"

She looked at his hand pointedly, and he removed it from the tangled mess known as her hair. He watched with fresh sweatdrops as she did some weird spastic dance to the door.

She noticed his expression and shrugged. "I didn't realize it until just now. Apparently I've had to pee longer than that."

"That's truly fascinating. Go pee now."

"Fine! See if I come _back_!"

"You'll be back."

"Most likely."

It took her a minute to realize the door was locked, and she tried several times unsuccessfully to open it normally.

"Ichigo, your door's broken!" She informed him as she tried planting her foot on the wall and tugging on the door knob.

He sweatdropped some more. "It's _locked_, Smart One."

Peyton's temple throbbed as she unlocked it calmly. "Could've said that sooner, jerkface."

But then they both sweatdropped as she opened the door and Rukia, Isshin, Yuzu, Karin, Renji, and Lindsay all fell into the room.

"Uh...I'm just gonna go pee real quick," Peyton said innocently as Ichigo's temple throbbed menacingly.


	40. AN: CROSSOVER?

**Okay, so i just had a stroke of genius.**

**WHAT IF...I made a crossover between Bleach and Fatal Frame 3: The Tormented?**

**I mean, c'mon...with Peyton and Ichigo...and maybe a couple others from "Dude What's With the Robe", but im not sure yet...Dude, that's gonna be _interesting _XD**

**BUT...I also have a couple other fics that would make a good crossover with Fatal Frame 3. So, im opening up a poll on my profile. It'll last HOPEFULLY until later tonight or tomorrow, because i won't have any internet for a week as of this Friday and it'll be the perfect time to start on it.**

**Soooo...HURRY UP AND VOTE!**

**Oh, and for those who have no idea what the _hell _Fatal Frame is, it's a really creepy and cool game that involves a Camera Obscura, ghosts, and a really painful tattoo.**

**If you wanna see a really hilarious walkthrough of the Fatal Frame 3 game, check out pyschadelicsnake's channel and search through his vids. he's hilarious! he screams higher than me XD**

**GET VOTING! AND YES I WILL UPDATE "DUDE, WHAT'S WITH THE ROBE?" SOON EITHER WAY! **

**that is all. as you were, loyal FanFiction users! :P**


	41. Poll Prob Now Fixed! Sorry!

**Okay, WOW, just realized i never put the poll on my profile.**

**FIXED IT!**

**okay, NOW go vote! **


	42. Ichigo's Defeat! Complete With Pancakes!

**Me: So apparently this fic lost by ONE VOTE in the poll; my Naruto fic won, which is cool-**

**Ichigo: Cool? JUST cool? That's fucking _fantastic_! Do you have any idea how _scary _that game is?**

**Rukia: (rolls eyes) As a Soul Reaper, I would think you've seen scarier things.**

**Ichigo: Hardly. At least the scary things you see as a Soul Reaper, you have a shot at defeating. In that game, every target's already dead and all you can do is take pictures! Jeez, have you never played?**

**Rukia: (sweatdrop) Watching you and Peyton play was good enough for me.**

**Me: Oh, that's right! That's SO showing up in future chapters.**

**Ichigo: NOOOO! I sucked at that game!**

**Me: That's the point! (evil laugh)**

**Rukia: Dumbasses. Enjoy, you guys. **

**Ichigo: AND FEEL FREE TO BLAME MANDY FOR THE SHITTY LAST CHAPTER!**

**Me: (Growl) Technically, it was an ANNOUNCEMENT.**

**Ichigo: A shitty one.**

**Rukia: ANYWAY, ON WITH THE CHAPTER!**

* * *

She could hear Ichigo's spazzy yelling all the way from in the bathroom. At least _she_ was safe; she felt kind of bad for everyone else.

But dammit, they shouldn't have been eavesdropping!

"What the HELL is wrong with you guys?"

"It's the human condition to be curious!"

"Renji, you and Rukia aren't even HUMAN, dumbass!"

"Whoa, wait, back up! What do you _mean_ they aren't human?" Lindsay asked in a panicky voice.

"Oh. Lindsay. U-Uhhh, don't worry about it, it's-"

"No, tell me, dammit! They aren't human? Are _you _human? Please tell me you're human. Ohmigod, my sister's dating an alien. How could this HAPPEN?"

Peyton sighed exasperatedly as she flushed the toilet. "WAY TO _GO_, ICHIGO!" She shouted over the water.

"WILL YOU JUST _PEE_?"

"I ALREADY _DID_! HENCE THE RUNNING WATER, MORON!"

"WELL THEN, COME BACK ME UP, WOULD YA?"

"Nope. You dug yourself into this hole, you get yourself out," Peyton said cheerfully as she headed towards Ichigo's doorway.

Lindsay stared at her sister, hands on her hips, hazel eyes wide. "How are they not human?"

Peyton looked from Ichigo (who looked murderous), to Rukia (furious), to Renji (like a kicked puppy), and finally to Lindsay.

"W-Well, um...Psh, you know Ichigo and Renji are both annoying idiots who have to constantly argue! Eventually they run out of comebacks, and this was one of those times. Even _Ichigo Kurosaki_ has moments like that."

"I know, I know, it's hard to believe since I'm so awesome and all," Ichigo added. Peyton's temple throbbed. "Hey, _no_. You don't get any compliments, it's _your_ fault Lindsay's all spazzy. So neh."

"Neh yourself."

"Neh YOURself."

"Well then, DOUBLE neh yourself!"

"Well in THAT case, YOU can just-"

"WILL YOU TWO JUST HURRY UP AND START WITH THE BABY-MAKING TALK AGAIN?" Yuzu finally shouted.

* * *

They both abruptly turned their heads toward Yuzu, who looked rather annoyed and huffy by the top of the stairs. Everyone started snickering at their expressions, and both of their temples throbbed.

"Um, Yuzu...Who mentioned _anything_ about making babies?" Peyton asked slowly.

"Tch. YOU did! We _all _heard it. The whole thing!" Karin replied in a "duh" tone.

The background turned rather ominous as Peyton and Ichigo glared at everyone. "The. Whole. THING?" They shouted in disbelief; little sparks of anger crackled around their comically huge annoyed-looking faces.

Isshin was the first to respond. "Well...A bit. Oh, son, I'm so proud of you! I can practically smell the bottle formula!"

"THAT DOES IT!"

They watched the Epic Battle of The Ages unfold with lots of laughing from Renji and Rukia, glares from Peyton, "Idiots" from Karin, "Oh my"'s from Yuzu, and plenty of sweatdrops from them all.

Finally, Peyton sighed and clapped her hands together. "So! While they battle it out, who wants some of Yuzu's pancakes?"

"ME ME ME ME ME!" Renji shouted, taking the stairs three at a time. Rukia sweatdropped and followed. "Who am I to turn down her heavenly cooking?"

Lindsay pointed worriedly at Isshin and Ichigo; Isshin had just landed quite a few hits to Ichigo's jaw and stomach, and Ichigo was now rubbing Isshin's face in the carpet.

"Smell all the many odors of 20-year-old carpet. SMELL IT!"

"Do they..."

"Do this often?" Peyton suggested. Lindsay nodded, and her sister giggled. "All the time. Don't worry, they'll come downstairs in one piece. Well..._Usually_ they do...You know what? Let's just go eat some pancakes and wait it out." And with that she slid down the bannister.

_**

* * *

**_

_**A ****WHILE LATER...**_

Rukia glanced up at the ceiling. "Y'know...Yuzu and Karin have been gone pretty long, considering they were just giving those two some pancakes..."

Renji nodded slowly. "You're right. And it's...quiet..."

He and Peyton looked at each other and said in slow unison, "TOO quiet..."

Right on cue, Yuzu bounded down the stairs, breathless. "Peyton, Peyton! You'll never guess what just happened!"

There was a brief silence, and Peyton swallowed another bite of pancakes. "Wait, do I actually have to guess?"

Yuzu sighed impatiently and ran back up the stairs. "Just come on!"

Wondering if they were dead, Peyton jumped up to follow her and was halfway up when she ran back down and grabbed her plate of pancakes. THEN she followed Yuzu worriedly.

_**

* * *

**_

_**MOMENTS ****LATER...**_

"Holy crap! I'm so glad I brought my cell phone up here!" Peyton exclaimed from upstairs. She had genuine pitch in her voice; the same pitch she used during semi-serious situations.

So naturally everyone got all curious and ran up there. What they saw made them sweatdrop at least three times each.

Isshin was standing with a foot on Ichigo's stomach triumphantly, in a Captain Morgan-like pose. Ichigo was laying dazed and sprawled out on the floor, his cast throbbing.

Yuzu was frantically trying to get past Lindsay to fix Ichigo some pancakes and hopefully make him a bit more...lifelike.

Karin was going through the stuff in Ichigo's room, "In case he's dead".

And what was Peyton doing? Taking pictures with her cell phone and laughing her ass off. "I never thought I'd actually see this day! Isshin, you won me fifty bucks!"

Renji groaned at that. "Damn, that's right! Here," he said with a sigh as he fished some out of his pocket.

Rukia did her own little Spazzy Noodle Dance as Peyton took the money with a smug grin and continued taking pictures.

"WHAT THE HELL KIND OF GIRLFRIEND MAKES PROFIT OFF HER BOYFRIEND'S DEFEAT?"

"A smart one," Peyton and Karin replied in unison. Isshin was now posing heroically, among other things.

Ichigo let out a groan, and Peyton glanced down at him. She waited patiently as he took in his surroundings, and as that WTF look slowly crossed onto his face, she captured it with the video mode on her cell.

"Perfect! Ichigo, you should do commercials. Or maybe pose for artists or something. Yeah, that'd work. Although I dunno if you get paid for that, and it'd be hard for you to sit still and shut up for that long with all kinds of random people staring at you like that. Oh well...Either way, you should," she concluded matter-of-factly.

Ichigo blinked up at her; the view was kind of upside-down for him, but he was still obviously annoyed.

"...Thanks. I'll keep that in mind."

* * *

Yuzu came back with a huge mound of pancakes; Isshin immediately brightened. "Ah, you brought a fine feast for a hero such as I!"

He then drooped as Yuzu went the other way, and jumped back as if she had burned him. "Papa, Ichigo needs these more than you."

"B-B-But, they're so fluffy and golden! And piping hot!"

Karin rolled her eyes as she stuffed something into her pocket and walked out of Ichigo's room. "There's more downstairs, I'm sure, Mr. Hero."

Peyton raised a hand. "I'll take care of Ichigo if you wanna take care of Mr. Hero, Yuzu." Poor kid was already starting to look guilty for her father's dismay.

Yuzu brightened instantly. "Thanks Peyton! C'mon, Karin, let's go!"

"Why do _I_ have to go?"

"Because I need an assistant!"

"Can't Rukia or Lindsay assist you?"

"Kaa-_riin_," Yuzu whined, making Karin sigh. "_Fiiiiine_," she said in defeat before pushing Isshin forward towards the stairs.

Renji followed. "Yuzu, I want some more too! I'm fricking starving!"

"Then you have to help!"

He sighed and stomped down the rest of the stairs. "Fine, but I demand immunity from Strawberry giving me crap about it!"

Rukia rolled her eyes, and Lindsay giggled. Peyton smirked at the upside-down Ichigo. "I doubt he will, Renji. He's in no position to be teasing _anyone_, I don't think. Getting beat by Isshin. Ha!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "The only reason he beat me was because of this damn cast. Which is technically YOUR fault!"

"Oh, yeah, it WAS my fault. Because I was trying to get your Hollow to give control back to you!"

"Hollow?" Lindsay repeated.

They both flinched, having forgotten her sister was still there. Rukia laughed anxiously. "Hey, Lindsay, you wanna go snoop Ichigo's room with me?"

She immediately forgot about the weird term Peyton used, nodding so quickly her blonde hair became a blur. "Duh! Even if it IS Ichigo, it's like the Sister Code to snoop each other's boyfriends' rooms. Y'know, just to make sure they're not creepy or anything."

Ichigo sweatdropped. "Hello, I'm right here!"

They both just waved him off, and Peyton laughed as they ran into his room and shut the door.

He sighed rather heavily. "Well, that's just _great_." She plopped down beside him and calmly took a few bites of his pancakes.

"Eh, I wouldn't worry. Rukia won't let her find the more personal stuff; she'd be too worried it might involve something about the Soul Society," she pointed out.

"Yeah, that's tru- Hey, wait. Did you just eat some of my pancakes?" He asked in disbelief.

Peyton had the fork halfway in her mouth when he asked, and looked at him innocently as she slowly stuck it in her mouth, chewed, and swallowed.

"...Nooo."

* * *

Ichigo sweatdropped. "Please tell me you didn't expect me to actually believe that."

"Nope."

"Nope you didn't expect me to, or nope you won't tell me that?"

"Nope."

"Oh, okay. Thanks for clearing that up."

"No prob!"

She plopped the plate on his stomach, and he groaned. Peyton smiled innocently. "Sorry. Didn't know Isshin beat the crap out of you _everywhere_, instead of just your cast."

His temple throbbed. "He didn't beat the crap out of me! He just...took advantage of my cast, is all."

"AND beat the crap out of you."

"Kinda."

"Yeah, thought so."

"But I'm still the better fighter!"

"Mmhmm."

"I am!"

"Totally."

"Peyton!"

"What?"

"Stop doing that!"

"Doing what, breathing? Blinking?"

"NO, thinking my dad's better at fighting than me!"

Peyton waved him off. "I was AGREEING with you! Jeez, SOMEONE has a guilty conscience!"

He opened his mouth to continue arguing, but then sighed and shook his head. "I'm just gonna be the mature one here and eat."

Of course, he said this right as he stabbed a piece of pancake and ate it rather savagely. Peyton sweatdropped. "I've said too much, I can tell I upset you."

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "I _would_ argue, but these pancakes are so effin' good."

"I know right!"

She glanced down at his cast, which was still throbbing painfully by the looks of it. "What exactly did he _do_ to your cast?"

"Banged it like a gong. His fist was the mallet," he explained dully between bites.

Peyton winced. "Ouch."

"Yeah, no kidding! Just a hunch here, but that's probably how I lost."

"Ehhh, maybe. It's a bit of a long shot, BUT.."

"Anything's possible when you believe!"

Peyton sweatdropped. "...Maybe we shouldn't have been in Disney World so long. It definitely rubbed off on you."


	43. Careful What You Post On the Internet!

**Me: Yay, we're back!**

**Ichigo: Yay. Fucking amazing. Let's throw a parade.**

**Me: You're in a splendid mood.**

**Rukia: Isn't he always?**

**Me: (slow nod) True, very true.**

**Ichigo: (sniffs) You guys are mean.**

**Me: (stage-whispers to Rukia): Do you think it might be cake overload?**

**Rukia: (points rather dramatically at Ichigo): NO CAKE FOR THREE DAYS!**

**Ichigo: NOOOOOOO! WAY TO GO, MANDY!**

**Me: S-Sorry! (nervous laugh) Anyways, enjoy!**

* * *

The next morning, Peyton officially died of embarrassment and Miya was introduced to one of Lindsay's oddest traditions.

Peyton and her future stepmom were sitting at the kitchen table with Seth, minding their own business, and he apparently decided today was a good day to mortify his youngest sister.

"So, sis. Is Isshin gonna be disappointed this Christmas?" Seth asked innocently.

Miya looked up from her coffee with interest. "Isshin...That's Ichigo's dad, right?"

Seth nodded, smirking at how red Peyton was getting already. "Sure is. He wants grandkids more than _anything_, right P?"

"...Yeah. Yes he does," she replied in a dangerous tone.

"Is he gonna get some any time soon?"

She didn't know if he meant Ichigo or his dad, but she just said "NO."

"Oh, good. Then the shotgun _should_ still stay locked up until hunting season."

"It better."

"It should."

"It will."

"Fine then."

"Fine."

"Oh, and I skimmed through that video again yesterday; y'know, skipping through the makeouts so I could keep my sanity. It's on the Top Ten list of most watched YouTube videos of the year."

Miya let out a low whistle, and Peyton just huffed and continued eating her Frosted Flakes. "There was _no_ making _out_!"

"What's its rank?" She asked, and Peyton gave her a look.

Miya shrugged. "What?"

She just shook her head. "Nothing, absolutely nothing."

Seth grinned. "It's ranked number 4. You should be proud, sis! That's some great footage, and in such short time!"

"What footage?" Dad asked from behind Peyton.

* * *

Miya took a huge swig of coffee, Seth's smirk grew, and Peyton spit out her Frosted Flakes with coughing and sputtering.

"Peyton, jeez, are you alright?" He clapped her on the back, which just made it worse.

"Oh, we were talking about a wildlife video," Miya said cheerfully.

"C'mon now, don't call Peyton and Ichigo animals!" Seth retorted.

"What?" Dad was obviously beyond confused.

"Well, let's just say they had a really good trip. _Really_ good. And according to all the comments, it was pretty _hot_," Seth said mysteriously.

Peyton kicked him hard under the table. "OW! DAMMIT, THAT HURT!"

"Peyton, no violence at the table," dad said with a sigh. "What's your brother talking about?"

"I dunno. Maybe he's high," She replied innocently before gulping down some OJ.

"I'm not HIGH! Just for that, I'm telling him the truth. Peyton and Ichigo hooked up in Disney World, and there's a video of everything they did floating around on YouTube. It's number 4 on the Top Ten Most Watched This Year list," Seth explained with a smug grin in Peyton's direction.

"SETH!" Peyton screeched as it slowly sunk in for dad.

The background turned depressing and scary as dad slowly repeated, "HOOKED. UP?"

Peyton sighed. _We should've never let him watch Sixteen..._

"...Miya?"

"Yes?" She asked carefully.

"Could you bring me your laptop?" He said in a voice that was so calm you could tell he wanted to just go outside and shoot the first thing he saw moving.

Peyton gulped, Seth chuckled nervously, and dad just plopped into a chair and sighed heavily before putting on his reading glasses.

"I never thought I'd have to check YouTube to see what my youngest daughter's been doing," he commented to no one in particular as he skimmed over the newspaper.

When dad started reading, he tuned everything out. EVERYTHING. When Hurricane Katrina's tailspins hit in Tennessee, he just sat there reading the paper, not even realizing what was happening outside, while Peyton and her mom were busy spazzing out.

So of course she used this time to kick the crap out of her big brother.

"DAMN YOU, SETH! He's gonna _shoot _Ichigo, I'll have to deal with _all _those 'Sorry your boyfriend died out of the blue like that' speeches again, and it'll be ALL. YOUR. FAULT!" She more-or-less screeched.

Seth merely blinked as she panted angrily. "...Well. In that case, you don't have to do my laundry anymore."

* * *

"I wasn't going to anyway, since you broke the deal! Dumbass," she said moodily, folding her arms across her middle.

He shrugged and went back to his cereal. Miya came running in, typing the link into the address bar as she walked.

Damn her and her multitask-ness.

"Here. Honey. HERE!" She yelled in dad's ear, the only way to actually get his attention during his precious Newspaper Time.

"Hmm? You say something, sweetie?"

_Ew. Pet names?_

Peyton shuddered. She hoped to God she and Ichigo _never_ developed pet names. That would be a grim day indeed.

"Yeah, here's the laptop. I'd try typing in-"

"Peyton and Ichigo's Epic Hookup In Disney. LOL!" Seth recited.

They all turned to look at him; Peyton's temple seemed to be on constant Throb Mode this morning. He grinned. "I memorized it," he announced proudly.

"Do you know how _perverted_ it is, how much you know about this video? It involves your own precious little sister!" Peyton exclaimed, throwing up a hand for emphasis.

He shrugged again while dad pressed play and Miya leaned over him, anxious to watch this alleged video Seth and Lindsay had explained to her a million times.

"With how many times it's mentioned at school, how could I NOT know so much about it? Seriously, it's not fair. I wish I could've at _least_ made a guest appearance. I mean, _damn_! Matsumoto and that short guy can get away with all kinds of crap, _just_ because their faces were in the background a few frames!"

Peyton's temple throbbed even more. "...Gee, this must be so _hard_ for you. My heart goes out to you, bro. Truly."

"That means a lot to me, P!" He said dramatically, complete with a hand to his forehead and fake tears while gazing at the ceiling fan broodingly.

_He could be serious competition against Isshin._

She rolled her eyes and waited for the coming homicidal tendencies from her father.

_**

* * *

**_

_**TEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Awwww!" Miya said as soon as it was over. Seth was laughing, having watched most of it with them while Peyton waited anxiously on the other end of the table.

"It's funnier every time I watch it! It's so _Peyton_, right dad?"

Dad was still staring at the screen. Seth, totally oblivious, scrolled down to the comments. "Wait until you read _this_ stuff; they're _almost_ funnier than the video!"

Him and Miya skimmed through them, reading their favorites out loud, while dad just sat there. Unfortunately, his gaze had shifted to Peyton, and he was currently staring her down and watching her squirm.

"So. THAT'S how this Ichigo kid got sucked into the In-Laws Dinner last week."

"Uh, yeah, I guess," she answered, shifting awkwardly in her seat. "Can I go now?"

"NO."

"Okay," she said quickly with a nervous laugh. _He's gonna murder someone, I just know it! _

Miya looked over at her fiancee. "C'mon, hon. You know it was funny."

"Yeah. Some of it was. Except for the times when this boy _kissed_ _my daughter_. Among other things."

"Like pull her into a fountain? Or make out in a pool?" Seth offered, earning glares from Peyton and Miya.

Dad nodded slowly. "Yeah, like that."He looked at the screen again, and judging by the intensity of his look, the screen had paused on a shot of Ichigo.

"Dads don't tend to feel too great about boys kissing their daughters without them knowing a thing about it. _Especially_ not when they don't find out until weeks later, when presumably the aforementioned daughter's already gone on several dates with that boy."

_Holy crap, is he psychic?_

"Um...Five or six dates, actually, if that helps."

"It helps my _knowledge_. But it sure as hell doesn't help your _case_ any," he said with a chuckle.

_Okay, he laughed, that's a good sign_, she thought with a sigh of relief.

Miya patted his arm. "Hey, don't worry about it. He's a good kid, I've met him before."

Dad turned to look at Seth. "Hey. You. What do _you_ think about this Ichigo guy?"

Seth shrugged. "He's a pretty cool dude. Even the junior and senior chicks want him."

Dad gestured to Seth. "And THAT is why I worry. If Seth likes him, there's _gotta_ be something wrong with this guy."

Peyton started laughing, and Seth sweatdropped. "Uh, dad, hello? Standing right here! Jeez."

"Oh, sorry son."

"Honestly, I'm OFFENDED. Appalled! Flabber-"

"Do you wanna keep your allowance or not?"

"Love you dad!" He exclaimed cheerfully before heading for the front door.

"And just where are _you_ going?" Peyton asked.

"Where else? Picking up Orihime."

Peyton looked at her dad. "Well? No interrogation for _him_ and his _girlfriend_?"

He shrugged. "I like Orihime."

Her temple throbbed. "Sometimes I wonder why I'm still surprised I get the most unwanted attention in this family.."

And THAT was when Lindsay came skipping on in, carrying some random stuff that looked edible.

"Tomorrow's Christmas E-Eve, tomorrow's Christmas _E-Eve_, tomorrow's Christmas EEE- EEEVVVVEEEEEEEEEE!" She sang at the top of her lungs, making a sharp skip-steer into the kitchen.

Miya sweatdropped and poked her head in. "Um...Lindsay? Is everything...alright?"

* * *

"It's her Pre-Christmas-Tradition," Peyton and dad explained at the same time.

"Once she's up and ready for the day, she skips on into the kitchen to start making stuff for Christmas Eve."

"Although, _that_ stuff looks different. Whatchya carrying this time, Linds?" Peyton asked as she strolled into the kitchen.

Miya slowly followed, and Lindsay grinned at them. "Eggnog. Yuzu gave me some stuff yesterday."

"Who's Yuzu?"

"Ichigo's little sister, dad," Lindsay threw over her shoulder in a tone that suggested he should know her already.

"Oh, pardon _me_," he muttered moodily.

Lindsay gestured to dad, who was now back to reading the paper. "What's up with him?"

"Seth told him about the video, and he decided to watch it, and now his brain is permanently fried with horrifying mental images of me and Ichigo," Peyton said dully. "He's extremely suspicious about him now. _Great_. Fricking fan-TASTIC."

Her sister nodded, then cracked her knuckles expertly. "Don't worry, I've got this."

She then stood up on a stool and started shouting.

"Y'KNOW, PEYTON, I'M REALLY GLAD YOU'RE DATING ICHIGO!"

Peyton and Miya sweatdropped. "What the hell are you doing?" "Just go with it," she hissed before cupping her hands over her mouth to continue her monologue.

"I MEAN, HE'S LIKE, AWESOME! NOT ONLY IS HE ONE OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS, WHICH IS ALWAYS GOOD, BUT HE'S _VERY_ NICE! IN FACT, DIDN'T HE SAVE YOUR LIFE ONCE? YES, I RECALL YOU TELLING ME THAT! AND THEN THERE WAS THE NIGHT UNCLE CAMERON GOT HIS SENTENCE! HE CALLED EVERY HOTEL IN THE AREA UNTIL HE FOUND YOU, AND STAYED ON THE PHONE WITH YOU ALL NIGHT LONG!"

Miya's eyes widened at that. "Awww, he did?"

"YES, MIYA, MY WONDERFUL FUTURE STEPMOM! HE REALLY _DID_ DO THAT!"

"THAT'S SO SWEET!" Miya cooed, getting in on the action. Peyton had no choice but to grin.

"YES, IT _WAS_ VERY SWEET! HE'S A _GREAT_ BOYFRIEND, DON'T YOU THIINK?"

"WHY YES, LINDSAY, MY WONDERFUL FUTURE STEPDAUGHTER! I _DO_ THINK HE'S A GREAT BOYFRIEND! PEYTON'S A LUCKY GIRL!"

"COOL BEANS, MIYA, COOL BEANS! AND HE'S VERY GOOD WITH KIDS, AND LOOKS OUT FOR HIS SISTERS! OH, _AND_ HE'S RANKED IN THE TOP THIRTY ON THE ACADEMICS ROSTER CITY-WIDE! AND DID I MENTION HE'S IN TIP-TOP SHAPE AND ISN'T PERVERTED IN _ANY_ WAY?"

"Jeez, Linds, let's not flat out _lie_," Peyton muttered under her breath after that perverted bit. Lindsay cleared her throat and hopped down. "Well, I'm done. I need some water."

"YES, I IMAGINE YOU'RE QUITE HOARSE AFTER SHOUTING LIKE THIS FOR SO LONG!" Dad replied, making Lindsay and Peyton freeze. "Whoa, he heard you? That's like...a miracle!"

"I know!"

Miya chuckled and shook her head. "Does Christmas do this to everyone?" Lindsay blinked at her. "What, have you never celebrated Christmas?"

"Nope."

Peyton watched with a sweatdrop as her sister did her own Appalled Wet Noodle Dance. "W-W-WHAAAAAAT? Y-YOU _NEVER_ CELEBRATED _CHRISTMAS_?"

Peyton lifted a finger matter-of-factly. "Well, she IS Japanese, Linds. Not everyone's Christian here, just like in Tennessee."

"Well, yeah, but..."

Seth bounded in just then. "Forgot my wallet. Plus, I heard y'all screeching about Ichigo. Are we still doing the Screech-Fest?"

"NO," Peyton stated.

"You leave me no choice," he said ominously as he grabbed his wallet out of the fridge. How it got there was a true mystery. Wait, no it wasn't; he ate twenty-four-seven.

He hopped onto the stool and cupped his hands over his mouth.

"SPEAKING OF ICHIGO, PERHAPS YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW SOME PERSONAL INFO ON HIM I'VE GATHERED THROUGH PEYTON OVER THE PAST EIGHT MONTHS OR SO! HIS NAME IS ICHIGO KUROSAKI. HIS BIRTHDAY IS JULY 16th! HE'S 5 FEET 9 INCHES TALL! HIS BLOOD TYPE IS A!"

Peyton sweatdropped. "Even _I _didn't know his blood type. Where the _hell _did you-"

"DON'T ASK STUPID QUESTIONS WHILE I'M MONOLOGUING, SIS! NOW, WHERE WAS I? OH YEAH!"

"HE'S SIXTEEN, JUST LIKE PEYTON. HE HAS BRIGHT ORANGE HAIR AND LIGHT BROWN EYES. 'AMBER' IS WHAT PEYTON SAID, BUT THAT SOUNDS SO _GIRLY_ WHEN _I_ SAY IT...ANYWAY, HE LIVES THREE BLOCKS AWAY IN THAT CLINIC. YOU CAN TELL WHICH HOUSE _THAT _IS BECAUSE USUALLY THERE'RE SOUNDS OF BATTLE BETWEEN ICHIGO AND HIS DAD, WHO'S AWESOMELY INSANE! ALSO, I HEARD MY LOVELY LITTLE SISTER TELLING LINDSAY THAT HIS DAD HAS A BABY-MAKING CHART, WHICH HE USES TO FIGURE OUT WHEN EXACTLY THEY'LL GIVE HIM GRANDKIDS. HE WANTED SOME _THIS_ CHRISTMAS, BUT THEY NOT-SO-POLITELY DENIED HIS REQUEST! ALSO, HE HAS A METAL BAT UNDER HIS BED, SO YOUR BEST BET IF YOU WERE A HITMAN WOULD BE TO STRIKE WHEN HE'S DEAD ASLEEP. ACCORDING TO PEYTON, HE CAN SLEEP THROUGH _ANYTHING_! AND IF YOU'RE INTERESTED, I'VE ALSO BEEN ABLE TO HACK HIS FACEBOOK AND MYSPACE ACCOUNT, SO I KNOW MUCH, MUCH MORE ABOUT ICHIGO!"

* * *

The three girls stared at him, stunned speechless. Well, _two_ of them were speechless. Guess which one wasn't.

"...Bro, you took protectiveness to a _whole _creepier new level! You _hacked_ my boyfriend's Facebook and MySpace? AND gave dad hitman tactics? What the hell!"

Seth shrugged. "I did the same stuff to Keigo. When it comes to who my family's in relationships with, I have to be thorough. I did a background check on _her_, too," he added, pointing at Miya.

Peyton's temple throbbed, and Miya's eyes widened. "EHHHH?" He waved her dismay off. "Don't worry, you were clean!"

They heard dad ruffle his newspaper before uttering the scariest three sentences Peyton had ever heard from him in her life:

"Thanks for the tips, son. I guess we'll find out if this Ichigo kid passes my test soon. _Very_ soon."

**

* * *

**

**Me: Well, Ichigo was sent to time-out about three minutes into the chapp, sooo...I guess he missed a lot.**

**Rukia: It's probably better that way. Seth creeps me out sometimes.**

**Me: (shrugs) What else are big brothers supposed to do with their spare time other than run background checks and google their little sister's boyfriend?**

**Rukia: (sweatdrops) I don't think I will EVER fully understand the ways of humans.**

**Me: Neither will we, so that's alright.**

**Rukia: Hey, i just realized. How come you never put Ichigo and Peyton's dates in here?**

**Me: (shrugs) I figure we owe them at least a LITTLE bit of privacy. Besides...Who _knows _what they do when they're alone?**

**Everyone: (group shudder)**

**Me and Rukia: (together) UNTIL NEXT TIME!**


	44. Close Call And A Lightbulb In The Ass

**Me: Heheheh, damn! I should've put that bit about Peyton's dad in sooner, he got me a HELL of a lot of reviews!**

**Ichigo: What ABOUT Peyton's dad? **

**Me and Rukia: (Together) N-N-Nothing! **

**Ichigo: (Stares us down)**

**Me and Rukia: (Innocent smiles)**

**AFTER FIVE MINUTES...**

**Ichigo: (Still glaring) ...You two worry me.**

**Me: Whatever. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Hey Peyton?"

"Yeah?"

"What would you do if you had a lightbulb stuck in your ass?"

She sweatdropped about three times, turning her head to look at him. They were currently sitting on a wall for no particular reason. "Ichigo, how did I _not_ fall for you sooner?"

He rolled his eyes. "Karin was watching this stand-up show on Comedy Central Presents earlier, right? And this chick Tig was on, and one of her jokes was about what it must be like to have a lightbulb stuck in your ass."

"She sounds like fun."

"I know, right?"

"What did she say about the lightbulb-in-ass situation?"

"Well, it was based off this story in the news about these freaky people randomly sticking stuff in their ass for the weirdest reasons, like to relieve stress and crap- no pun intended. She was basically wondering how long it would take that person to go for outside help. Like, how long would they try and get it out _themselves _before saying 'Screw it, I'll call the neighbor'."

"But then, why would they call the neighbor? Why not their _best friend_, who they could swear to secrecy?"

"Well, why not the _neighbor_, who they might never have to talk to again?"

"How do you avoid your neighbors?"

"I _still_ don't know who lives to the right of us," he replied matter-of-factly.

Peyton sweatdropped again. "Okay, lemme rephrase that. Who BESIDES YOU would be able to avoid their neighbors?"

"_Plenty_ of people!"

"Says _you_!"

"Yes, says me!"

"...Do you realize we're arguing about how to properly get a _lightbulb_ out of your _ass_?"

"Technically, we were arguing about _how to get outside help _if there were a lightbulb in your ass."

"Can we argue about how to properly get it out instead?"

"Sure, you first."

* * *

"Okay. Why not just twist it a little and then pull it out? I mean, lightbulbs aren't THAT big."

"Yeah, but what if it's so stuck that it doesn't help? They should just go to the ER and have _them_ do it."

"Oh yeah, could you imagine how THAT would go? Get some butter or something."

"...What the hell kind of role does BUTTER play in this?"

"The grease should make it slippery, and you could eventually slide it right out!"

"That's what she said."

"Oh, without a doubt."

"I still think they should just go have the ER do it."

"Like I said, could you imagine how THAT would go? How many excuses do you think that guy would make up before he found the perfect one?"

"I dunno..."

She grinned at the look on his face. "I know that look. You wanna try and think of some, DON'T you?"

"Absolutely."

"Yay! Okay, you first."

"I slipped on some butter, and it just HAPPENED!"

"The kids leave out all kinds of junk. I'm surprised this didn't happen sooner, really."

"Oh yeah? How about this: I was practicing a magic trick, and it worked!"

They both laughed, then she sat up a little straighter with excitement. "Okay, wait, I've got the best one ever. Ready?"

"I was _born_ ready for lightbulb-in-ass excuses."

"_That_ explains a lot.."

"Your epic excuse?"

"Oh, right. How about this: If you wanna know the truth...It's quite embarassing, but...My ass is afraid of the dark."

His eyes grew wide. "Peyton, that...That's genius! I would pay _money_ to see that excuse in action."

She smiled, then noticed what was falling. "Holy crap, snow!"

* * *

Ichigo looked around. "Oh, it IS snowing. Huh. Didn't notice."

"I was too caught up in the lightbulb-in-ass thing."

"Me too."

Peyton stuck her tongue out to try and catch some, but gave up soon after. He sweatdropped. "Wow. I don't think I've _ever_ seen you give up so easily. Thirty seconds, that's gotta be a record..."

She made a face. "I can just TELL none are gonna land on my tongue. It's like they're dodging me just in the nick of time! Ugh, I hate them."

"You hate _snow_?"

"What? I _love _snow!"

"You just said you hated 'them'. Oh, wait. Were you talking about the voices in your head again?"

"Yes, Ichigo. YES."

Snow looked really cool in Karakura. For some reason, it just looked different here. "Y'know, it only snowed every four or five years in my old town, if we were lucky."

"That sucks."

"Not really. Since it was so rare, if there was any snow on the ground we got out of school for the day. It was awesome."

"That's not fair! It takes a lot more than it being on the ground for snow to get _us_ out of school," he said with a pout.

Peyton laughed and shook her head. "You, pouting? Funny."

"Hey, guess what?"

"What?"

"Tomorrow's Christmas."

"Really now? Whew, glad you told me. Lindsay's annual frolicking with Christmas Eve supplies yesterday hadn't tipped me off."

Ichigo seemed to be trying to make sense of what she had said. "Lindsay...was frolicking...with Christmas Eve supplies yesterday."

"Yup."

"Frolicking?"

"Frolicking."

"Who says _frolick_ these days?"

Peyton sighed and shook her head. "Don't start THAT again. Wasn't questioning 'burglar' usage enough?"

"Fine, you win."

"Really?"

"BUT..."

She groaned, making him smirk. "I should've known there was a catch!"

He blinked down at her innocently. "All you have to do is tell me what you got me for Christmas."

Peyton smirked back. "No way, nice try."

"Then I won't let 'frolick' go."

"Fine. I won't let go of the fact that Isshin BEAT you the other day!"

Ichigo was the one who groaned this time. "Dammit! I hate it when you win." Peyton shrugged. "It's not like it happens often or anything."

"That's true."

Her temple throbbed. "You're not supposed to agree!" He laughed and she rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm tired," she said with a yawn.

Ichigo sweatdropped. "Gee, I never would've guessed. Why're you so tired?"

"You bore me."

"Knew it."

"But seriously? If you only knew the kind of distractions I had going on at my house right now, what with _Lindsay_ excited over Christmas Eve, my _dad_ scarred for life, and _me_ ultra paranoid, it's no wonder I didn't get much sleep."

"Oh. Whoa, wait, back up...Why's your dad scarred for life and why're you ultra paranoid?" Crap. She forgot he didn't know. Peyton fiddled with his cast; it was becoming a habit lately.

"_Weeeelll_...Don't freak out, BUT..."

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"Hey, I said don't freak out, remember?"

"Oh, right, sorry. Yeah, why would I freak out? Your dad wants to murder me, Seth gave him hitman tactics, he likes to shoot things...What could _possibly_ go wrong!"

Peyton rolled her eyes. "Chill out! Trust me, I won't let him do anything stupid. TOO stupid.." Ichigo sweatdropped. "Wow, I feel safer already."

She smirked and kissed him. "It's a gift, really." He smirked right back. "I'm unconvinced." She smiled. "Are you saying you need proof?" He flashed a half-smile and pulled her a little closer. "Are you saying you wanna _prove_ _it_?"

_**

* * *

**_

_**A ****WHILE LATER...**_

"Y'know, now that I think about it...Us wanting to prove stuff _always _seems to lead to kissing, even if we don't mean it to," Peyton noted.

They were walking back to their neighborhood; it had been cool spending more than two hours without perverted family or crazy friends around them, but tonight WAS Christmas Eve.

Ichigo made a thinking noise. "Huh. You're right."

"Not that I hate that or anything," she said with a grin.

"_I_ do."

"Oh, I know. You're just _full_ of rage."

"I could explode at any minute."

"Well, in that case, your Hollow would take over and I'd end up chasing him all through Karakura Town again."

He made a face. "Y'know, that actually genuinely worries me. From what I can gather, he's trying to come up with some elaborate plan to get to second base with you, WITHOUT you unhooking your bra. Or something like that."

Peyton's grin grew. "And this has nothing to do whatsoever with you and _your _pervertedness, huh?"

"Nope."

"Liar."

"It doesn't!"

"Whatever you say, Ichigo. Whatever you say."

By the time they got to Ichigo's house, the snow was already up to right above her ankles. She spent a little time there, then decided she should probably head home.

Rukia and Ichigo brought it upon themselves to walk her home, and Rukia seemed ultra paranoid.

Peyton and Ichigo exchanged a look. "Uh, Rukia? You alright?"

She had just rolled secretively across the alley, and was currently doing a pose that was similar to Buzz Lightyear when he checks to make sure the coast is clear.

Rukia glanced up at them, smiling all dazzling and innocent-like. "Of course I am. Why do you ask?"

They both sweatdropped. "...Nothing, absolutely nothing. I don't WANNA know," Ichigo commented.

"_I _do! What's up with the paranoid-ness, Rukia?" Peyton asked. She sighed heavily, then ran to catch up with them.

"Okay, okay, fine! Alright, you know what Byakuya mentioned, the Miyamoto House?" She prompted eagerly.

"Yeah."

"Well, apparently the threats are still going strong. In fact, I'm surprised we haven't been called out yet."

"What kind of threats are they _giving_, anyways?" Peyton asked. Rukia waved her off. "Ah, y'know. Bomb threats, servants disappearing. Oh, and one of his kid's cats was found skinned and hung with a note promising that kid in particular was next. Minor stuff."

The background turned all weird as Peyton and Ichigo did the Spazzy Wet Noodle Dance. "MINOR STUFF?"

Rukia eyed them weird. "What the hell's WRONG with you two?"

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

It was weird not seeing extra cars in the driveway; when her mom was alive, they'd have a Christmas Eve party every year, and the whole street would be lined with cars.

Although, Peyton was _exhausted_, so maybe this wasn't a bad thing. She was halfway up the driveway when someone jumped out of the bushes. "RAAAAHHH!"

"AHHHHH!" Peyton wasn't the only one shouting; Rukia and Ichigo were now RIGHT behind her, having gotten the shit scared out of them.

Renji laughed his ass off. "You should've seen...your...faces! Priceless!"

Ichigo's temple throbbed. "Rukia, punish your Pineapple-Headed asshole of a boyfriend for me."

"HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!"

Peyton smirked. "Isn't that what I kept saying right before WE got together?" She pointed out slyly.

"Why yes, I do believe it WAS," Ichigo said in a similar tone.

Rukia's temple throbbed. "You two just wait. Karma's gonna come after you."

"Oh-ho-ho, I'm shaking in my boots, Rukia."

"I thought Santa said HO-ho-ho?" Rukia replied, her head tilted to the side in confusion. Peyton laughed as she opened the door, then sweatdropped as Renji and Ichigo slid right on in.

"...Sure guys, you can come in. Don't be shy."

* * *

Lindsay had already lured them into the kitchen. "THANKS, PEYTON!"

Their mouths sounded quite full. Probably with cookies.

She and Rukia exchanged an eye-roll before strolling in, shutting the door behind them and letting some snow in in the process.

Then they smelled it; the heavenly aroma of Lindsay's cooking. The two grinned mischieviously, but before they could hunt down her sugar cookies, Seth ran in.

"P, P! Is Ichigo here?"

"...Yeah, he's in the kitchen. Unless your hitman wants to know; in that case, he's in South Africa for the World Cup. Why?" She said slowly.

He laughed anxiously. "Well..."

Her eyes widened. "Oh God. Where's dad?"

"Watching tv. I don't think he knows Ichigo's here. But I'm pretty sure he's gonna interrogate the shit out of him once he figures out where he is. It's not gonna be pretty."

"I highly doubt he'll cause Ichigo any _serious _harm," Rukia said skeptically.

Peyton and Seth looked at each other, then burst into laughter. "Hahahaha! Rukia, you're so innocent! How are you friends with my devious little sister?"

"I know, right! ...No, seriously, he'll rip him to shreds," Peyton said quickly, heading for the kitchen.

Seth followed. "Well, as long as dad doesn't know he's here, we're home free!"

"HEY, ICHIGO, YOUR COOKIE'S _BIGGER _THAN MINE!" Renji suddenly shouted.

* * *

Peyton stopped dead in her tracks and slowly turned to look at her brother, temple throbbing. He laughed nervously. "Hey, don't blame me, blame the dumbass who shouted!"

"REEENJIIII!" Peyton and Rukia shouted. They ran into the kitchen, and dad called out after them. "Hey, is that Ichigo kid here?"

"NO!" Everyone shouted (minus Renji and Ichigo, who had no idea what the hell was happening).

"I heard his name!"

"You must've imagined it, dad!" Peyton shouted.

"...Fine," he said with disappointment.

Lindsay sighed and shook her head. "_Way _to go, Renji." Peyton sighed as well. "The things I do for you," she informed Ichigo.

He simply tossed her his last cookie. "...That...is TRUE love right there," Renji informed everybody with a slight sniffle of emotion.

They all sweatdropped and looked at him, and he shrugged. "What? It's true." And with that, he ate some more of his cookie.

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

Miya was playing an intense round of Phase 10 with Seth and Rukia. Renji, Peyton, and Ichigo were watching tv. Lindsay was in the kitchen doing whatever she did when things wound down on Christmas Eve.

And then suddenly, dad's snoring rang throughout the house. They all looked at each other, and Lindsay poked her head out of the kitchen.

"Go, go, go! Sneak him out!" She hissed. Miya watched in amusement as Renji checked to make sure the coast was clear. He nodded, and Peyton and Ichigo stealthily crept past the kitchen, where dad was currently snoozing.

They then hauled ass for the front door, and she shut it as quickly and quietly as possible to avoid creaking or slamming.

Once outside, all three hissed "Heck YESSSS!"

Renji did some weird kind of victory dance, which was probably brought on by all the sugar cookies, then slowly stopped as Ichigo and Peyton stared at him meaningfully.

He laughed anxiously. "Oh. Right. I'll just...get a head start." And with that he ran off.

* * *

They rolled their eyes, and Peyton glanced towards her house. "I honestly can't believe you made it out of there with your life."

"I'm not gone yet."

"Well then, get going."

"Well, not YET."

Peyton sweatdropped. "Dude, that's the whole point of going through the front door. See, Ichigo goes through it with Peyton and Renji, and then this _magical_ thing happens. They're all outside! And then _Ichigo_ leaves before Mark Cullen- aka Peyton's dad- tortures him. So, lemme recap the scene for you. He's outside, Renji's got a head start, he JUST MIGHT beat Ichigo home...What is Ichigo gonna do? AAAAANNDD...Action!"

After all that, he just blinked, then smirked at her. "What is he gonna do now? Well, first, Ichigo's gonna point out that there's mistletoe right above his head. Observe."

He cleared his throat importantly and pointed enthusiastically. "Wow, look Peyton! There's mistletoe right above my head!"

Peyton crossed her arms over her middle with amusement. "Go on. What happens next?"

"Well _then_, Peyton notices the aforementioned mistletoe."

"Oh, okay!" She waited a few seconds, and Ichigo sweatdropped. "What're you doing?"

"Well, this IS me we're talking about. It'll take me a minute to catch on."

She counted to five on her fingers, then pointed above his head in surprise. "Wow, Ichigo, you're right! There IS mistletoe above your head! Man, I hate that plant. Alright, now what?"

"Well, after that, Ichigo acknowledges her odd-ness in his usual way." He pointed meaningfully to his sweatdrop.

"Uh-huh, and then what?"

"Hmmm, what indeed. Well, after Ichigo acknowledges her odd-ness, he pulls her a little closer, like this."

"Go on."

"And then Peyton has this expression on her face that tips Ichigo off to the fact that she _really_ likes where this is going."

"Okay. Now what?"

"Well after that, he leans down a little, like _this_...And he runs one hand along her jaw, like _that_..."

"Mmmhmm, keep going," she replied, eyes half-closed.

"AND THEN RENJI KIDNAPS HIM AS REVENGE FOR GETTING A NOTICEABLY BIGGER COOKIE THAN HIM EARLIER!" Renji shouted, practically dragging Ichigo off her porch and down the street.

* * *

Peyton looked rather homicidal, standing there under the porch light. "DAMMIT RENJI, _THAT'S _NOT HOW THE SCRIPT GOES!"

He laughed at that, but kept running. "SORRY PEYTON! IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL!"

Ichigo looked like a cat shoved into water, the way he was trying to slip out of Renji's grip. "RAAAAAHHH, LEMME AT LEAST FINISH WHAT I WAS _DOING_, DAMMIT!"

"No can do. Making sure you get to kiss your girlfriend goodnight is NOT on my list of priorities as of right now."

"...I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR THIS, PINEAPPLE HEAD!"

"TRY ME, STRAWBERRY!"

"I _WOULD _IF YOU'D LET _GO_, COWARD! LET'S SETTLE THIS LIKE _MEN_!"

"_MANLY _MEN!"

"YEAH!"

"YEAH!" Renji stopped in the middle of the street, then smirked and tightened his grip. "Nah, I like this better."

"DAMN YOU! PEYTON, A LITTLE BACK-UP WOULD BE NICE!"

"I thought you wanted to settle it like a _manly_ _man_?" Peyton said mischieviously.

Ichigo finally stopped struggling and let himself be dragged. It was quite comical; Renji dragging him like a sled being pulled up a hill, and Ichigo just sitting there sliding across the iced-over street, crossing his arms and moping in Peyton's general direction.

"Fine, Renji. Have it your way. But ONLY because even _manly men_ get tired!"

"Tch, whatever. ...Gah! Jeez, Strawberry, what the hell did you eat?"

"Cookies."

"It's like dragging a damn piano!"

"Well then lemme _go_, dumbass!"

"No!"

"Why the hell not?"

"Be-CAUSE, you were enjoying yourself. I can't allow that! It's Christmas Eve, that's missing the whole point!"

Both Ichigo and Peyton sweatdropped, but she finally just sighed, shook her head, and went back inside.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS PEYTON!"

"Yeah yeah, whatever Renji."


	45. Merry Christmas!

**Me: Wow. You know what i loved the most about the reviews for the last chapp, Ichigo?**

**Ichigo: (obviously not giving a shit, as per usual) Nope. What?**

**Me: The fact that only one person actually sided with you about being kidnapped before you could kiss Peyton.**

**Ichigo: I don't care what anyone says, that sucked ASS!**

**Me: (shrugs) Personally, i think it was karma.**

**Ichigo: Yeah, well personally, i think you should go fix me some cake.**

**Me: (narrows eyes) For that, i shall share with the readers...TODAY'S EPIC FAIL, COMMITTED BY ICHIGO KUROSAKI! (points to scene below):**

_Urahara: You put it on like this! Put it on your forehead like so... and yell from the top of the lungs... "TAKE THIS! THE POWER OF JUSTICE! JUSTICE ARMOR! JUSTICE HACHIMAKI! ATTACK!"_  
_Ichigo: O... okay I get it. Put it on the forehead like this... LIKE HELL I'LL DO THAT! [Dodges an attack] AAACK!_  
_Urahara: See? Now isn't the time to be embarrassed, right?_  
_Ichigo: DON'T ACT LIKE THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! Damn it, guess I have no choice... TAKE THIS! THE POWER OF JUSTICE! JUSTICE ARMOR! JUSTICE HACHIMAKI! ATTACK!_  
_Urahara: Wow...! You actually did it...!_  
_Ichigo: You BASTARD_!

**Ichigo: ...Bitch.**

**Me: Why you little-**

**Rukia: (holding us both back as we attempt to scratch each other's eyes out) ENJOY!**

* * *

_**THE ****NEXT MORNING...**_

"WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UUUUUUUPPPP!" Lindsay screeched happily, jumping on Peyton's bed.

She slowly turned her head to look at Lindsay; she was NOT happy. "...Is the house on fire?"

"Nooo."

"Is anyone in mortal danger?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Oh. That's good. Goodnight, Lindsay," she said groggily with a yawn before letting her face drop back into the pillow.

A few seconds of total silence passed, and Peyton dozed off. The next thing she knew, a fog horn was being blasted near her head. "RISE AND SHINE!" Lindsay and Seth shouted.

She jumped so hard she scrambled in mid-air before falling off the bed. "GAH! WHAT THE HELL'S YOUR PROBLEM, GUYS?"

"IT'S CHRISTMAS, IT'S CHRISTMAS, IT'S CHRIIIIISSTTMMAAASSSS!" They cheered, dragging her out of bed.

Peyton's temple throbbed. "You're gonna pay for that, Christmas Day or not."

They gulped, then cracked their knuckles. "You're on!" Seth replied with a cocky grin.

_**

* * *

**_

_**LATER****...**_

"Would you look at their bright, shining faces," dad stated, he and Miya sweatdropping.

Lindsay's hair was sticking out everywhere (that almost NEVER happened), Seth had a black eye, and Peyton had a few bruises and crazy hair as well.

They were all beaming innocently. "GOOD MORNING, WONDERFUL FATHER OF MINE!" Peyton declared, hugging him happily.

Dad's temple throbbed. "Ichigo was here last night, wasn't he?"

"If I tell the truth, will you lighten up on him?"

"Sure."

"Yeah, he was here."

"Oh. Good." He rubbed his hands together, going into Complex Plotting Mode. "If he came last night, he'll be here for SURE today! Which means I'll have him right where I want him..."

Peyton pointed at him in disbelief. "B-But you said you'd lighten up!"

He stopped his maniacal pacing to blink at her. "Oh, but I am. The shotgun will only be used for visual effect!"

Everyone sweatdropped, and Peyton did the Spastic Wet Noodle Dance. "EHHHH?"

"Sis, I promise to take the bullets out, just in case," Seth said from the floor. Peyton plopped onto the floor with a huff. "Much appreciated."

Dad waved them off. "Some big brother you are. You're no fun at all."

Miya sweatdropped. "And my mother thinks I don't know what I'm getting into with this marriage..."

* * *

Seth threw a box at Peyton, which hit her square in the gut. "OW, DAMMIT!"

"MERRY CHRISTMAS, DARLING LITTLE SISTER!"

She glared at him before unwrapping it in under fifteen seconds.

Miya sweatdropped, and dad patted her knee. "That's probably the longest it's ever taken her."

She pulled out the necklace Seth had given her as an early birthday present. Everyone sweatdropped all over again, and he just grinned. "You can stop wearing that other one now."

Peyton sighed and shook her head before slipping the necklace around her neck. The two necklaces clinked together ominously, and she could already imagine the idiotic argument Ichigo would make out of it.

Seth pouted. "The whole point was to get you to _stop _wearing the other one, not wear _both_!"

"I'm not taking the other one off, and that's that!"

"What, did _III-chigo _get you that?" He teased.

"Actually, yeah, he did."

Seth and dad jumped up in protest. "WHAT?"

"HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? WHO WOULD DO THAT FOR YOU _BESIDES _ME? YOU'RE _SO _NOT WORTH GOLD, SIS, ARE YOU _KIDDING _ME?"

"WHERE DID HE GET THE MONEY? DID HE STEAL SOME FROM YOU?"

Miya put a hand on her fiancee's shoulder, sweatdropping. "Honey, you know good and well Peyton's never had more than thirty bucks on her at a time. That necklace cost an easy hundred. Now sit down before you blow the roof off the house."

Seth peered down at the necklace. "How much was it?"

"Renji said two hundred. Ichigo was too embarrassed to tell us how much it was exactly. Matsumoto says she saw one just like it that cost a lot more, and the day he got it, it was gone, but she never did mention the actual price..."

Everyone let out a low whistle, and Peyton sweatdropped. "Can we just open the rest of the presents now so I can go take care of my morning pee, maybe take a shower, all that good stuff?"

They all immediately sat down. "ABSOLUTELY!" Dad and Seth yelled enthusiastically, no doubt trying to kiss ass for the torture they had in store for Ichigo.

_**

* * *

**_

_**AN ****HOUR LATER...**_

Several tow-trucks' worth of clothes, fifteen gift cards, three books, two handfuls of jewelry, and four CDs later, everyone was sprawled out on the floor and panting heavily.

"...Dad?"

"Yes, Lindsay?"

"They spoiled us this year.."

"Yeah...I know...I would never give you...little farts...so many presents! Well, Miya, sure, but not you guys!" He said cheerfully, laughing as their temples throbbed menacingly.

Peyton then hopped up randomly. "I have to pee majorly!"

Dad held up a finger. "Oh, Miya...I believe there's another box behind the couch that you missed. I'd open it quickly; those holes won't give it air forever."

Peyton stopped in her tracks. "...Holes? Air?"

_Please don't be a spider, PLEASE don't be a spider...!_

Miya dove behind the couch (She was officially converted, as long as she got to celebrate Christmas every year. Her words exactly.), and they saw wrapping paper fly every which way. Then there was a distinct squeal; almost as high as Yuzu's.

"IT'S A PUPPY!"

Peyton took that opportunity to run to the bathroom, before Seth made a crack about _her _not being house-trained.

_**

* * *

**_

_**HALF ****AN HOUR LATER...**_

Peyton ran into the den, wet hair flipping out everywhere, looking around spastically. "Okay, okay, I'm here. Now where's this puppy?"

She was greeted by a rather interesting sight. Lindsay and Yuzu were playing with the puppy in the hallway, Miya was in the kitchen making more cookies while Isshin explained in more depth his Baby-Making Chart (_painstakingly _more depth..), and as for Seth and dad...

Peyton did the Spazzy Wet Noodle Dance. It was becoming increasingly common in Karakura lately.

"WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE?"

In the middle of the den was positioned a rickety wooden chair. In the butt part of the chair, rope and a yo-yo had been placed. Speaking of random things being placed in randomer spots, an interrogation light had been installed in the ceiling, and was swinging rather ominously right above the chair. It was turned off for now.

On the couch, Seth and dad had Ichigo seated between them, and he looked stressed out. Seth looked up at her. "Oh, hi! We're just asking him some questions."

They had index cards, and on the back the words "Qualification Round" were stamped. "Next question," Seth announced in his Game Show Host Voice.

Ichigo gulped.

"Have you ever, at any time, made my sister pay for _anything_?"

"Uhhh...Not that I can remember."

"I'm sorry, this is a yes or no question!" He replied, still using his Game Show Host Voice.

"Oh. Then no."

"CORRECT! Back to you, Mark." He even winked at a camera. _Wait, wait, wait. Camera? CAMERA? THEY'RE RECORDING THIS?_

Dad was _also _using a Game Show Host Voice. "Thanks, Seth. Final question. If you answer correctly, you're off the hook. If not...Well, we get to use...The Chair!" He announced, his Game Show Host Voice turning dark and ominous.

Peyton almost expected lightning to crackle behind him for dramatic effect, and sweatdropped when Seth quietly crept behind dad and went, "Bum-Bum-BUUUUMMM!"

"So, I ask you, Ichigo Kurosaki...Are you READY?"

"Um...Yes?"

"ANSWER WITH CERTAINTY! GOOD GOD, MAN!" Seth barked. "Sorry, sorry! Jeez! Yes. I'm ready. Happy?"

Peyton smirked. _Now THAT's the Ichigo I know._

Mark flicked his index card importantly before reading. "In the event that a robber steals Peyton's purse, what would you do?"

Ichigo nearly hopped off the couch ith excitement as he pointed at him. "Ha! That's a trick question! The only bag Peyton ever carries is luggage or her schoolbag! She only owns three purses and never uses them, that's what Lindsay always complains about!"

Dad made a "Hmm" noise. "Impressive. Give us some privacy while we deliberate."

Him and Seth made some weird huddle and started whispering excitedly. Peyton sweatdropped, and Ichigo gave her a wave. "Hi. Merry Christmas."

* * *

She couldn't help but smile. "Looks like _your _Christmas is off to a great start."

"What gave it away?"

"Your look of pure terror."

"Hey, I'm not TERRIFIED! I'm just...ill-prepared?" He offered.

Peyton was about to reply, but dad and Seth suddenly sprang out of their huddle and grabbed both of Ichigo's arms.

"Sorry kid, but you're getting...The Chair!"

"Bum-Bum-BUUUUMMM!"

"WHAT? BUT WHY? I WAS RIGHT!"

"Yeah, you won and all that, but...Well, we _really _wanna try this thing out. And by _this thing_, I mean of course...The Chair!"

"Bum-Bum-BUUUUMMM!"

"Seth, shut the hell up!"

"I'm trying to make dramatic effects here, Peyton! You're distracting me!"

"Seth, help me position him correctly in...The Chair!"

"Bum-Bum-BUUUUMMM! I mean, uh, sure thing dad!"

Peyton watched on with several new sweatdrops as they proceeded to tie him up with the rope and dad leaned all in his face. "Now, kid, we can do this the easy way...or the HARD WAY!"

Ichigo sweatdropped as Seth clicked the light on for emphasis, making it swing a little faster. "...Um...What?"

"PICK A WAY!"

"The easy way, always the easy way!"

"Oh, so my daughter's dating a slacker. I see."

"Uh, I mean, THE HARD WAY! IT'S THE HARD WAY OR NO WAY!"

"Hey, mind your manners!"

Ichigo's temple throbbed.

"See, this is where you're supposed to realize you can't win his favor by any means," Seth stage-whispered.

"Not true! There ARE ways...They have yet to be discovered, but they exist," Dad said importantly.

"Please stop using your Yoda Voice!" Miya called out from the kitchen.

"Sorry, sweetie!" Dad shouted back innocently before clearing his throat and switching back to his Cop Voice.

"Now, lemme just have my _assistant _get our _cards_..." He looked to Seth, who handed him some more index cards importantly, eyes on Ichigo the whole time.

Ichigo and Peyton both gulped as they read the stamp: "Sudden Death Round".

* * *

"Now, first question. What...are the first three digits of Pi?" Seth asked ominously.

"...3.14?"

"CORRECT! Your turn, Mark."

"Thanks, Seth. Second question. What...is Peyton's full name?"

"Peyton Alicia Cullen," He replied without hesitation.

"CORRECT! Take it away, Seth."

"Why thank you, Mark. Third question. HAVE YOU...gone higher than second base with my sister?"

"W-WHAT? NO!"

Seth narrowed his eyes. "You spazzed."

"What does _that _have to do with anything?" Peyton snapped.

"Liars spazz."

"So do SPAZZES."

"And so do LIARS!"

Dad and Seth nodded. "Seth?" "Yes?" "I believe he answered..._incorrectly_," dad said ominously.

"NO HE DIDN'T! Honestly, I'm OFFENDED!" Peyton shrieked.

"Fine, don't get all in a tizzy. We'll let that one slide," Dad said carelessly, obviously unconcerned on whether he was telling the truth or not.

"Well, in that case, back to you, Mark."

"Thanks, Seth. Fourth question. HAVE YOU EVER...played the Fatal Frame series."

"...What?"

"HAVE YOU EVER...played the Fatal Frame series."

"No, I heard what you said, sir, but...What?"

"It's a video game," Peyton prompted before mouthing "LIE LIE LIE! LIE YOUR HOT ORANGE ASS OFF!" behind her dad and Seth's backs.

"Ohhhh, THAT series! Yeah, totally!"

"Good, very good. It's scary as hell; if you can handle that game, you can handle my daughter's anger. You _might _survive. Back to you, Seth."

"Thanks, Mark. It appears we have reached the Sudden Death Within The Sudden Death Round! If you fail to answer _this _question, you shall have to suffer the _consequences_!" Seth announced ominously.

"...Okaaayy..."

"Are you READY FOR THIS?"

"BORN READY!"

"HERE IT COMES!"

"GO AHEAD!"

"WHAT'S MY FAVORITE KIND OF PIE? YOU HAVE THREE TRIES, NOW GO!"

* * *

Peyton and Ichigo sweatdropped. "How the hell should _I _know?"

"I'm sorry, that's not a pie type that I know of! Try again!"

"Ummm..." He looked at Peyton, who shrugged. "...Cherry?"

"NO!"

"Key lime?"

"NO!"

"Blueberry?"

"YES!" He let out a sigh of relief, and Seth held up a finger. "BUT...You guessed it on your _fourth _try, and you only had _three_. THEREFORE, you must PAY!"

"WHAT? I ONLY TRIED THREE TIMES!"

"Nooo, you didn't! First you guessed 'How the hell should I know', then 'cherry', then 'key lime', and THEN 'blueberry'!"

"NO WAY! 'How the hell should I know' doesn't count!"

"It does in _my _book!"

"Well, your book is _wrong_!"

"Let's consult the judge! He knows all!"

"Fine, where is he?"

Seth looked to dad, who whipped out a bobble head of Chuck Norris. "O' Wise Chuck Norris Bobble, please, tell us. Did Ichigo Kurosaki's guess of 'How the hell should I know' count as a guess, therefore meaning he is WRONG, and must sit there in his WRONGNESS and be WRONG while enduring the punishment brought on by his moment of WRONGNESS?" Seth asked importantly.

Dad "secretively" flicked the head, and it bobbed up and down at rapid speed. "Ah-HA! CHUCK NORRIS HAS SPOKEN!" Seth bellowed.

Dad handed over the yo-yo, and Seth flicked it by the string, hitting Ichigo between the eyes expertly. "Ow!"

"Okay, now that _that's _over, good luck surviving my sister. Merry Christmas and see ya around!" Seth said brightly before untying Ichigo.

* * *

"WHAAAAAT?" Ichigo and Peyton shouted in disbelief. Peyton's temple throbbed. "_ALL THAT _FOR NOTHING? WHAT THE HELL!"

"I never gave _my _opinion," dad pointed out ominously.

They both gulped while Seth wandered off to the kitchen. "So, Miya, how many cookies are left?"

It was then they noticed Isshin, who was watching on with a grin. "How long have you been standing there?" Ichigo asked with a sweatdrop.

"About seven minutes."

"AND YOU NEVER THOUGHT TO YOURSELF 'HEY, I SHOULD HELP MY SON'?" Ichigo screeched, doing the Offended Wet Noodle Dance.

Isshin just stated, "Yep. Hey, Mark, your fiancee makes splendid cookies!"

"Not better than mine, right Papa?"

"No way, Yuzu!"

Dad chuckled. "Thanks, Isshin. Your son makes splendid entertainment."

"So does your daughter! Matter of fact, she makes my son infinitely less homicidal towards me! Not to _mention _easier to beat in the morning."

"So...Does that mean we're off the hook?" Peyton asked carefully. Dad just looked at them both with a smirk. "Perhaps."

And with that, he went into the kitchen.

She sweatdropped. "Well. That was...traumatizing."

Ichigo shrugged. "I've had worse. _Although_, that yo-yo hurt like hell..." He muttered as he rubbed the spot between his eyes.

He grinned. "So what'd you get me for Christmas?"

Peyton smiled innocently. "You know, I think I'm gonna watch the rest of the show first." His jaw dropped as she plopped down onto the couch.

"WHAT? JUST LIKE THAT, YOU'RE IGNORING ME?"

She threw her fist up enthusiastically. "Go Bones!"

"Fine. YOU CAN'T IGNORE MY HOT ORANGE ASS FOREVER!"

"Oh yeah? WATCH ME!"


	46. Pineapple Trimming and Social Distortion

**Me: So, we're back. (Looks around and sees she's totally alone)**

**Still Me: (sweatdrops) ...So, I'M back. Enjoy!**

* * *

"What about now?"

Silence.

"Peyton, Bones is _long _over!"

Silence.

"DAMMIT, STOP IGNORING ME!"

More silence, but she was biting her lip now to keep from giggling.

Ichigo's temple throbbed, and he stalked off. He headed into the kitchen, then snuck out through the other door so her back was to him.

He crept behind the couch without a sound, then clapped his hands on her shoulders. "BOO!"

She didn't even budge. "God DAMMIT! NO FRICKING WAY YOU DIDN'T JUMP! You ALWAYS jump!"

Ichigo could've sworn he heard a tiny snicker escape, but when he peered down at her, her face was totally neutral.

"C'mon, CSI re-runs can NOT be this interesting," he whined.

More silence. He brightened as she shifted, but all she did was scratch the back of her neck. As if he wasn't even there. She knew he hated when she did that with a damn burning passion!

"Gah! You _tease_! Okay, THAT time you almost smirked, I saw it! Your mouth twitched and everything!"

He then got an idea and strolled over until he was in front of the tv. Peyton simply tilted her head a little to see past him.

Beyond frustrated at this point, he did something rather stupid. He turned around and scooted back, sticking his ass right in her face.

"Ichigo, what the hell!" She screeched, beyond surprised that HE would do something so stupid.

"I told you that you couldn't ignore my hot orange ass forever. I fricking TOLD YOU! But did you listen? NOOOOOOPE! Well, the joke's on you, eh? What NOW, Peyton? WHAT NOW?"

They heard her front door creak open. "...Come on in. Unless _you're_ gonna stick your ass in my daughter's face, too," her dad said in a rather dull voice.

* * *

They turned around to see her dad sweatdropping, holding the door open. Rukia had her hands on her hips, sweatdropping as well.

Renji and Toshiro's faces were frozen in a "WTF" expression, and Matsumoto was shaking with the effort of not laughing.

But then a random strand of Toshiro's hair sprang out of place comically, matching his twitching right eye, and they all erupted into laughter.

Well, everyone except Ichigo, who was currently wondering how badly Mark wanted to kill him at this point.

Renji and Matsumoto were literally ROLLING, they were laughing so hard. His temple throbbed as Renji gasped for air, pointing at him. "Strawberry, you're...You're such a DUMBASS!"

"SHUT UP, PINEAPPLE HEAD!"

Peyton sweatdropped. "Is that really the _only _comebacks you two have for each other? Strawberry and Pineapple Head?"

Rukia nodded in agreement. "They're more or less nicknames now. It lessens the blow," she pointed out.

"SHUT UP!" They shouted before continuing to battle like little kids in the sandbox.

Finally, everyone just went on about their business. Peyton went to grab a cookie, the puppy nipping at her bare feet the whole way.

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Y'know, I don't think I will _ever _forget this Christmas," Miya said thoughtfully. Peyton bit another huge chunk out of her cookie.

"Well, I'm not surprised. Not only is it your first, but holidays with US are usually quite memorable," she replied, half with her mouth full before swallowing and finishing her sentence.

She smiled. "That's true. So...do you think Ichigo will like it?"

Peyton laughed. "Trust me, he just might have spasms. Thanks again for getting it for me."

Miya shrugged. "It's what I do."

"_Whatever _it is, I'm sure the guy deserves it for putting up with _you_," Seth said matter-of-factly as he passed by.

Peyton smacked him upside the head right before he dodged her, and he ran out muttering a string of curses at her, making her and Miya giggle.

Lindsay walked in, handing Peyton the puppy. "Can you hold him? I gotta check the food."

She sweatdropped. "Call me crazy, but I'm sure he wants to run around and act like a dog," she said as the poor little guy started kicking his legs out spastically while Lindsay had him in mid-air.

She handed him to Peyton anyway, who simply set him down as soon as her sister's back was turned. The puppy gave her a look that clearly read "I officially love you" before running off to who-knows-where.

Miya smirked. "Five bucks says he gets in trouble in under thirteen seconds."

Peyton laughed, but sure enough they soon heard Renji yell "AHHHH! DEMON DOG!"

His screeching was soon followed by laughing from Karin and Yuzu, and Ichigo shouting, "THE PINEAPPLE'S HEAD HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN _TRIMMED_!"

Lindsay's head shot up from the oven as she closed it. "...Poor Renji."

Peyton couldn't help it; she laughed non-stop for a good four minutes.

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

Everyone gulped as Rukia picked up the one she wanted. This was it; the moment of truth.

Her face was its normal neutral self. Until, that is, she slapped down her last card triumphantly.

"I am OUT, bitches!" She yelled happpily.

"NOOOOO!" Everyone groaned, throwing down their Phase 10 cards. Toshiro and Peyton let their heads bang the table with moans, and Ichigo's temple throbbed as he handed her dad fifteen bucks.

"I am SO glad my daughter's dating such a generous kid," He said, patting his pocket happily. Miya held HER palm out, and dad sighed and paid her ten of the fifteen bucks.

"I am SO glad I'm marrying such a generous man," she replied smugly. Peyton smirked. "What was the bet?"

"That you would lose no matter what."

Her jaw dropped. "WHAT? I _rule _at this game!"

"Apparently not _too _much, I just whooped your ass," Rukia replied matter-of-factly. Dad laughed. "She makes a good point, you know."

Peyton waved them off. "Ah, forget you guys. I rule, and that's that."

Toshiro slapped his cards down again after counting up his score. "150," he muttered to Lindsay, who wrote it down.

Ichigo hissed in a breath and shook his head, while Renji did the same. "Dude, that's not gonna help you any. Now you're not gonna win for _sure_!"

His look revealed his homicidal thoughts. "...Thank you, Renji, I realize that." Renji and Ichigo just snickered and exchanged a high-five.

Peyton's eyebrows shot up. "Well, how many do _y'all _have?"

"Thirty!" Renji replied proudly. Ichigo, however, slumped. "...175," he muttered. Peyton started laughing, and his temple throbbed. "How many do YOU have?"

"50."

"HA! I beat you!"

"Yeah, so did I, no one cares if YOU did Renji, I _won_!" Rukia announced brightly. Ichigo shook his head. "Not yet you haven't. You're on the last phase with Miya."

Rukia waved him off. "Bah, I got this in the bag!"

Miya sweatdropped. "You doubt my mad Phase 10 skills?"

"No, I just think I'm superior."

"You mean HOPE you're superior," Peyton and Seth commented at the same time, grinning and high-fiving across the table.

Matsumoto rolled her eyes. "Honestly, THIS is why we've been at this for four hours. You guys take too damn long between rounds!"

Karin sweatdropped. "You're just pissed because you're still on phase three."

"Am not!"

"It sure seems like it," Yuzu agreed, and Rukia just smirked.

She blew a couple strawberry-blonde locks out of her eyes as Rukia snickered. "The bigger the head, the more it hurts when someone pops it, Rukia."

Everyone sweatdropped. "I've...never heard it put quite like that.." Dad said slowly. "I _like _it!" Isshin exclaimed. Everyone then shrugged and continued playing.

_**

* * *

**_

_**HALF ****AN HOUR LATER...**_

Miya's Phase 10 skills turned out to be supreme, which meant she got bragging rights for a good three weeks after this.

Rukia was depressed at first, but after getting Christmas presents and cookies, she was even brighter than usual.

Even though Peyton had assured them she really didn't need anything (all her birthday presents had been more than enough), Isshin and his daughters got her a few presents, along with Lindsay and Rukia and the other Soul Reapers.

Now everyone was happy and chilling in the den watching tv, playing with the puppy, and screwing around during commercials or boring re-runs.

EXCEPT Ichigo, who still had YET to get his present from Peyton. She knew it was driving him crazy, and really, she had planned on letting him have it hours ago.

But after he made such a huge deal out of it, the opportunity was way too funny to pass up, so he was still trying to guess what it was.

"I'm telling you, you'll never guess it," she said for the eightieth time. He groaned. "That's no fair! I've guessed pretty much everything on Earth!"

"Well, you're wrong."

"Oh, so what, you got it from Mars or something?"

"Not hardly."

"Will you please please please please please please please please please please please PLEASE lemme see it now?" He begged.

She finally laughed and stood up. "Fine. I'll go get it."

Everyone sweatdropped as he followed her, right on her heels just like the puppy had been earlier in the day.

Peyton's temple throbbed. "I promise you, I'm getting it."

"I know, I just wanna make sure."

"Jeez! You and presents, I just don't get it."

"The world may _never _get it."

"Do YOU get it?"

"Why would _I _get it?"

"Point."

She opened her bedroom door and plucked it off her dresser before tossing it at him. He opened it in under three seconds.

"Wow, you just might beat my world record," Peyton commented.

Ichigo stared in awe. "This...This is.."

"Every Social Distortion album ever made. Look inside the one on top."

He opened it spastically; it took him about three tries, he was so impatient. Peyton just grinned proudly as he read it.

"Ichigo: Peyton tells us you're one hell of a stunt guy. Show us sometime? About time we got some new tricks for our upcoming tour. Merry Christmas! -Mike, Johnny, Brent, and Charlie."

His jaw was on the floor by this point. "Oh, on the back of that, they've got a couple addresses, phone numbers, stuff like that. And, uh, there's something else in that box, by the way."

He dug his hand inside the box, and pulled out a handful of tickets. "Holy crap. Are these tickets for their tour?"

"No, they're Lady GaGa tickets. What do _you _think?"

She hadn't seen him this excited in a long time. "Did I tell you today how much I love you, Peyton?"

"I can tell."

"How the hell did you get all this?"

"Miya's an assistant to a music producer. Let's just say she has connections."

"Wow, compared to this, my present's pretty damn crappy."

She shrugged. "I like it. I needed a new iPod."

He kissed her, and for the first time in literally FOREVER they could kiss for more than three minutes without being...Oh, say, kidnapped.

They were heading for the den when they heard a painfully familiar voice.

"...We cannot allow it to progress any further. The family _must _be relocated as soon as possible. Wait, where is Kurosaki?"

**

* * *

**

**Me: (sighs) BUT of course, the moment is STILL ruined by- ...Oh, wait, I can't tell you. Ha! You can probably figure it out though, most of you aren't that stupid.**

**Still Me: And by the way, I found a website that had random facts from character profiles in the back of the Bleach mangas, and one of them was that Ichigo's favorite celebrities were Mike Ness (Frontman of Social Distortion) and Al Pacino. I happen to like Social Distortion too, so of course this was the first thing that popped into my minid when i thought "The Ultimate Present".**


	47. Goodbyes, Trees, and Possible Hellos

**Me: (looks around at empty room, then sighs) ...This being alone for these things is starting to get really fucking annoying...**

**Still Me: Anyway, back to the cliffie! ...Ish-thing. Enjoy!**

* * *

They both froze, then walked at the world's slowest pace to avoid having to see Byakuya in Peyton's den.

Byakuya Kuchiki was NOT in her den. Talking about Soul Reaper business. In front of her dad, who was already suspicious of Ichigo!

Dammit!

"Whoa, wait. _What _family needs to be relocated? And who the hell ARE you?" Seth asked rather bluntly.

"I am Byakuya Kuchiki. And-"

"Ahhhh, I see! Rukia's big bro! So, tell me...When you found out her and Renji were a 'thing', how many bruises did you give him?" Seth asked casually.

"WE are NOT a THING!" Renji and Rukia shouted, temples throbbing.

Peyton and Ichigo just sweatdropped. Byakuya looked up, and seemed rather annoyed. "How kind of you to grace us with your presence, Kurosaki. We are leaving for the Soul Society as soon as possible."

All the Soul Reapers shouted "DUMBASS!" at him, looking pointedly at the humans in the room, who currently had question marks _**DING-DING-DING-**_ingover their heads.

"Soul Society?" Miya repeated.

"It's a, uhhhh...a camp! Yeah, a camp. For school. It's in...Djibouti. Which is in Africa. Mmhmm," Rukia said with a nervous laugh.

All the Soul Reapers nodded quickly with innocent grins, Byakuya included. Peyton's guess was that his pride was lost as soon as he mentioned Soul Society.

"What does this 'camp' have to do with a family being 'relocated'?" Lindsay asked slowly.

"One of the camp activities. Fitness! Whoever pushes the family in wheelbarrows across Djibouti and crosses the finish line first, WINS!" Peyton exclaimed.

They all did their weird nodding again, and Ichigo squeezed her hand. "Nice one," he muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

"It's a gift," she replied under her breath.

"So...we should all probably go...pack. For that." Toshiro said anxiously.

"Peyton, are you going, too?" Yuzu asked.

"NO!" All the Soul Reapers shouted in unison. The mere humans (minus Ichigo) sweatdropped, and Peyton's temple throbbed.

"I never got a permission slip."

"Ohhhh, that makes sense!" Miya and Dad said after a few seconds. "But...How come _we _didn't, either?" Lindsay asked in confusion.

"Because...uhhh...They started planning it at the very _very _end of last semester, so we were automatically out of the loop since we were in another CONTINENT last semester," Peyton explained smoothly.

"How do YOU know all this?" Seth asked.

Everyone rolled their eyes and pointed at Ichigo, who gave Seth a half-wave. "Hi."

"Oh. Right. Nevermind. But, wait...How come _I _haven't heard-"

"Hey, WAIT, when'd you even _get _here?" Peyton asked, pointing at Seth. "You were gone for hours!"

"Orihime's. She was sick."

Rukia and Matsumoto nodded. "Yep. We dropped by earlier."

Peyton drooped, and the background turned rather depressing. "No one TOLD ME she was sick! Crap! Now I feel bad! I'll have to go by there later..."

Byakuya cleared his throat. "If all this foolishness has reached a conclusion, I suggest those attending 'camp' pack whatever they might need. It will be a long journey, wracked with peril. Remember, we are defending this family with our very LIVES, and that's the least I expect from all of you. Hopefully we will return with everyone accounted for and in one piece, but if not, the rest of us shall make sure they need not die in vain..."

Everyone sweatdropped, and Lindsay cocked her head. "...I sure hope you win a trophy for taking it this seriously, Byakuya."

_**

* * *

**_

_**AN**** HOUR LATER...**_

"So you're leaving tomorrow morning?"

"Yep. First thing."

Peyton grinned. "I just wish I could be there to see who wakes you up first, Rukia or Isshin."

"THAT, Peyton, is a very good question. At my expense."

"Isn't it always?"

"Point."

She flicked some snow off her porch railing. "Hey, Ichigo?"

"Yeah?"

"About what Byakuya said...Is it _really _gonna be that dangerous, or was he just trying to look important?"

He glanced at her. "Do you want me to honestly answer?"

"Of course."

"Both."

"...Oh. That's what I, uh...What I thought."

Ichigo grinned. "Are you WORRIED about me?"

She rolled her eyes. "Of course I am. It's what I do best, you know."

He waved her off. "Tch, please. I am a KICK-ASS Soul Reaper with a huge-ass sword and quick, cat-like reflexes. What's to worry about?"

Peyton sweatdropped. "Well, for one thing...The only true part of that statement was that your sword is huge."

"HEY, you've never seen me in FULL-BLOWN kick-ass Soul Reaper mode."

"Perhaps."

"And my reflexes are AWESOME!"

"Compared to my great-grandmother," she replied.

He sweatdropped. "Well, at least I have this pep-talk to think about while I'm kicking ass. It gives me hope. Truly. How can I ever repay you?"

"Hmmm...Maybe by not going?"

He plopped his head onto her shoulder. "Okay, how about something I can actually do? And stop doing that innocent thing with your eyes, it's physically hurting me."

* * *

"...Hmmm...I'll get back to you on it, then. But it was worth a try!" She said defensively.

He just laughed and kissed her cheek. "I'll be back."

"In one piece, right? And...y'know, with a pulse?"

"Of course."

"Don't you 'of course' me in that DU-UH-UH-UUUUUHH voice of yours! It is VERY easy to believe you could end up like that Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail."

"Well, in that case, I'll bite their legs off."

"Yeah, and then you hop your ass right back _here_, you hear me?"

"You mean my HOT ORANGE ass."

"That too."

"You can't just FAIL TO MENTION my ass's hotness and orangeness. Jeez, amateur."

"Hey watch it, this amateur can always kick your ass."

"My HOT ORANGE-" Peyton groaned loudly, drowning him out, and he laughed again before pulling her into a hug.

"Something tells me I'm not gonna be awake in time tomorrow," Peyton stated.

"Probably not. I'm sure Byakuya would like me and my hot orange ass to leave BEFORE three in the afternoon."

"Ichigo?"

"Yeah?"

"If you get yourself killed, mark my words, I will HAUNT your hot orange ass once I die too and then kick it to another dimension," she threatened.

"I'll try my hardest. Even though I was _really _looking forward to getting myself killed."

"It shouldn't be too hard for you," Renji commented, having just gotten outside. Him and Ichigo were the only Soul Reapers still there.

Peyton and Ichigo slowly turned to stare at him, and he laughed nervously. "I'll just...go...over there now."

"And no kidnapping this time until AFTER he's off my porch," Peyton added, to which he grinned and nodded. "You got it. He was heavy as hell last time. I wouldn't recommend baby-making any time soon."

They both shook their heads with sweatdrops as Renji headed for the end of her driveway like a good little trimmed-pineapple-head Soul Reaper.

He hugged her a little tighter, and she kissed a part of his shirt with a moody sigh. He sweatdropped. "What the hell?"

She sweatdropped too. "Nothing, I just realized...THIS is how far I can reach you without using my tip-toes."

She pointed to the area between his torso and middle, which was why she had kissed him there, and he just started laughing.

Peyton huffed. "At least one of us finds it funny. I find it _hella_ annoying!"

"Yeah, well, I used to find YOU hella annoying, too."

"And now?"

"Just annoying."

"Awww, that's one of the sweetest things you've said to me!"

"Peyton?"

"Yep?"

"As much as it sucks, I should probably go now."

She sighed- AGAIN- and nodded. "Yeah. I'm pretty sure I know what kind of dance Renji's doing over there," she commented as they noticed the aforementioned Soul Reaper bouncing in place and whining to himself like a seven-year-old.

They exchanged an eye roll, and with a ruffle of her hair, he walked towards her driveway to stand beside Renji.

The latter sighed in relief. "Thank _God_! I dunno how much longer I can hold it, dude."

"Why not just go in the bushes?"

"What if someone SEES?"

Ichigo sighed heavily, temple throbbing, and Peyton just grinned as they walked towards the Kurosaki house.

They were almost halfway down the street when he turned around and yelled, "I LOVE YOU!"

Renji imitated a whip, complete with rather loud sound effects, and Peyton just laughed as Ichigo beat the crap out of him.

_**

* * *

**_

_**LATER****...**_

**"_Hey there, P! Wait, hold on." She heard fumbling, then a ton of grown men shout "MERRY CHRISTMAS, PEYTON!" _**

"Merry Christmas, Cameron and...everybody," she replied brightly.

**"_Yeah, it is! I got all y'all's presents...But the tree was my favorite. Thanks, me and the guys really appreciate it."_**

What the- TREE? She never got around to sending the Christmas tree, and had been feeling guilty about it for a couple days. So how the HELL did he- ...Ichigo.

"Don't mention it," Peyton said with a nervous laugh. _No, seriously, don't mention it. I don't even wanna THINK about where that damn Strawberry's gonna be for the next few days. Or week. Or WEEKS. Peyton, stop it, dammit!_

**"_Did everyone get my letters?"_**

"Yeah. We couldn't stop laughing from all those stories." Which was true. His inmates were almost as crazy as her friends.

**"_Good, good. Sadly, that's the only thing I can get y'all while I'm in here. So I hope you're ready for some crappy letters for a ton of birthdays and Christmases," he said with a laugh._**

Peyton laughed, too, but what he said next made her abruptly stop laughing.

**"_Oh, right! Almost forgot! We all got a kick outta your boyfriend, too."_**

WHAT? "Oh, okay! ...Wait, what?"

**_He laughed again. "Yeah, he called- BEFORE my wonderful yet forgetful goddaughter- to wish me merry Christmas. So of course I tested him."_**

"Oh God. First dad and Seth, now you _too_?" She said with a sweatdrop.

**"_Naw, something tells me their test was worse. No, me and the guys just asked about you and how you were doing and such. Y'know, how you're REALLY doing."_**

She felt annoyed just THINKING about what kind of things Ichigo might've told them.

**"_Oh, and one of the guys- you remember Brett? The young blonde one? He's seen the video. Apparently you're even clutzier on camera. He tells me it's hilarious, we're looking into tricking one of the watchmen to letting us watch it."_**

"What kind of things did y'all talk about? BESIDES that?" She asked carefully.

**"_Hmmm...If you REALLY wanna know..Bump-Its, the Christmas Tree, the episode of Bones that inspired you and Ichigo to GET aforementioned tree, Bones in general, Social Distortion-" _**She beamed at that one.** _"-The video after Brett recognized his voice, that one teacher's obsession with the video, you, and some other stuff."_**

Peyton sweatdropped. "How long did he TALK to y'all?"

**"_At least a couple hours. It was fun."_**

"Jeez, that's an easy 80 bucks in long-distance fees," Peyton muttered to herself.

**"_Yeah, I know! I was impressed."_**

"You weren't supposed to hear that, I was thinking out loud," she accused.

**"_Yeah, well, sorry. I can't help it I have amazing bionic hearing. Hey, you mind if I get all sappy on you for a second?"_**

"Yes, I do."

**"_Well, I'm going to anyway. I don't care if he passed Mark and Seth's test or not (though I'm sure he did), any guy that calls up his girlfriend's jailed godfather, whom he's never met, to wish him merry Christmas and talk to his inmates for at least two hours is alright by me. In fact, I think I'll tell Mark that when he finally talks to me."_**

Peyton paused before answering. Something about Cameron's little speech made her get an idea. A horribly stupid, yet probably totally worth it idea. "Cameron?"

**"_Peyton, have fun, Merry Christmas. Now go fix whatever you did wrong!"_**

She sweatdropped. "I didn't do anything wrong, I'm just about to do something incredibly stupid. Do you mind if I blame it on you?"

**"_Nope. What's the worst that could happen? I'm already in jail," he pointed out with a laugh._**

"Good point. I'm handing the phone over to Linds, alright?"

**"_Alright. Love you. Have fun wreaking havoc, alright?"_**

"Always! Love you too. Bye."

With that, she placed her hand over the receiver end. "Linds! Phone!" After her sister took the phone, Peyton ran upstairs, then stopped halfway up.

"Hey, dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Is it too late to say I'm going to camp?"


	48. I Told You Possible Hellos, Didn't I?

**Me: (Eating cake like a starved person) Ichigo, i never thought I'd say this, but...I MISSED YOU!**

**Ichigo: (rolls eyes) Only because i had all the goddamn cake.**

**Me: (runs over and bombards him with a hug while stealing the rest of his cake) YOU SURE DID, YOU ORANGE BASTARD!**

**Rukia: (sighs and shakes head as battle soon ensues over the cake) ...Enjoy.  
**

* * *

"_**You can run, all your life, but not go anywhere. Take away, take away, take away this ball and chain…Well, I'm sick, and I'm tired, and I can't ta-"**_

"ICHIGOOOOOO!" Rukia bellowed, and he resisted the urge to wince. Maybe if he pretended to be asleep, she'd let him sleep a little longer.

At least until the song was over. He had apparently fallen asleep listening to all the new Social Distortion tracks (FINALLY, he had all those bonus tracks that iTunes seemed physically incapable of letting him buy) after copying them onto his iPod.

She tried to pull him out by the ankles, and he just let out a rather loud fake snore. It wasn't the first time he'd done so.

Rukia then tried his alarm clock, and smacking the back of his head a few times, but he had endured MUCH worse wake-up calls from his dad in the past.

Finally, she let out a frustrated sigh and stomped off. Ichigo smirked to himself before putting the left earbud into his right ear (he had been doing that for months now, JUST to piss Peyton off) and cranking the volume a little to avoid having to listen to that damn Midget talking to herself.

So of COURSE he never heard Karin creep in with dad and a foghorn. So when it was blasted right by his ears, he literally jumped and rolled off his bed with a yell.

Dad and Karin were laughing their asses off, and Rukia smirked triumphantly. "Why, good morning! Get your stuff. NOW."

He stood up with his trademark scowl. "I'm fricking starving, so you better watch yourself, Rukia!"

"Yuzu's making breakfast already, don't get your panties in a wad," Karin informed him.

She and dad then exchanged a fist-bump. "Who knew I would _actually _pull a dumbass prank with you, dad?"

"Who indeed?"

"_I _sure as hell didn't. But I guess, with my shitty luck, it was only a matter of time," Ichigo muttered moodily as he scratched the back of his head and stretched. "Your _brother's _not gonna show up over here, is he? He's lucky you and Peyton convinced everyone Soul Society was a camp yesterday."

Rukia furrowed her brows in thought before shaking her head and grabbing her Mini-Chappy-Backpack off her bed in the closet.

"He _shouldn't_. As long as you don't make us late, like LAST TIME we went to Soul Society together..."

His temple throbbed. "I was cleaning up after the mess YOUR BOYFRIEND made, after he blamed it all on ME!"

"HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!"

"Tch, whatever you say. Just get packed."

She waved the bag in his face. "I already AM, idiot. Hence why it's filled to the brim."

Ichigo sweatdropped as he noticed a random sock poking out of the top of the bag.

"Why not just grab a bigger bag?"

"Because a Shinigami should always travel lightly, if with any items at all. You know that. Now hurry up, before we're late again!" She commanded before stomping downstairs.

Ichigo just sighed and shook his head before turning off his iPod and dropping it into the bag dramatically.

"This assignment _already _blows."

* * *

_**MEANWHILE**__**…**_

"So what you are trying to tell me is that you want my lieutenant and myself to allow a _Non-Shinigami _to stow away inside one of our bags to cross _into _Soul Society…For no apparent, legitimate, MATURE reason?"

Urahara and Peyton nodded brightly at him. "That about sums it up."

Toshiro stared at them. "And WHY would I forego such an idiotic task?"

Peyton widened her brown eyes innocently, peering at him. "Out of the kindness and immaturity of your heart?"

Matsumoto rolled her eyes. "Hell, _I'll _do it."

"WHAT? MATSU- …Lieutenant, have you lost your _mind_?" Toshiro hissed. "Captain Kuchiki will never trust us after this!"

His subordinate just blinked at him. "Oh, I'm sorry, Captain. Was that supposed to change my mind in some way? Kuchiki already doesn't trust me."

"Obviously, he has every right not to. You have too much independence and spunk in you!" Urahara praised, making everyone sweatdrop.

"We don't have to kiss ass, she already said she'd do it," Peyton stated dully.

Matsumoto looked to Urahara suspiciously. "What exactly do YOU gain out of this, Kisuke?"

He simply grinned behind his ever-present fan, which he waved a little faster. "Can you imagine what kind of torture awaits Captain Kuchiki with how un-professional our dear Peyton makes everyone? He _deserves _it after mocking my…slightly-drunk state during his meeting at Ichigo's a few nights ago!"

_SLIGHTLY? _Everyone wondered simultaneously.

"Not to mention how much more _fun _she'll make it. I can see it now; so many potential entertainment from her and Ichigo," Yoriuchi added from her very comfortable position on the floor, stretched out and ready for a cat-nap.

Peyton wanted a nap, too. It was _way _too early. _Ah, the things I do…_

"Captain, I will bet you _fifteen juice boxes _she greatly improves Ichigo's fighting, which in turn will greatly improve our chances of success without any casualties," Matsumoto pointed out to try and completely win Toshiro over to their idiotic cause.

He looked at them all for a moment, stroking his chin in thought, before finally sighing. "Very well. But in turn, Lieutenant, when we complete this mission…If there are indeed _no _casualties, all that paperwork is to be brought here and finished. Understood?"

Matsumoto pouted and clasped her hands together, making everyone else sweatdrop at how much bigger she made her cleavage look.

"C'mon, Captain Hitsugaya. _Must _good intentions go punished?" She whined with an innocent pouting face.

Toshiro's temple throbbed. "Considering most of that paperwork was supposed to be done by April of last year, I do not consider it a _punishment _so much as a _chore_. And stop kissing ass."

Matsumoto made a rather feminine "Humph" noise and glared at Urahara and Peyton. "You owe me."

* * *

_**LATER**__**…**_

Matsumoto and Toshiro were the last to arrive. Ichigo was sure to point this out to Rukia.

"SEE? I could've eaten three more waffles and we STILL wouldn't be late!" He informed her gloomily.

Byakuya simply rolled his eyes at Ichigo's complaints before looking to Renji, who then rather dramatically summoned the Senkaimon.

Ichigo sweatdropped. "Renji, are you…walking in slow motion?" He asked with a hint of a laugh as the Trimmed-Pineapple-Head followed Byakuya and Rukia through the sliding wooden door.

"Tch…N-No!" He said with a scowl, but walked a lot quicker after that.

"Whatever you say."

"Stop questioning me!"

"I didn't question you, I was dropping the subject! Jeez, SOMEONE has a guilty conscience."

"Shut the hell up!"

"Both of you, at least TRY and be professional about this," Byakuya hissed as they passed into Soul Society.

No one noticed that Matsumoto's bag was unzipped a little, much less that she slipped some food into it as they crossed over.

* * *

_**FIFTEEN****MINUTES LATER**__**…**_

Byakuya led them to a huge, expansive mansion. Its beauty was a bit ruined by the massive hole in the middle of the courtyard, debris scattered all around it.

It looked more-or-less deserted, and a feeling of unease settled around them as they let themselves in.

They went through two ransacked rooms and one utterly destroyed library before they started feeling reiatsu.

Sure enough, they heard scattered voices before seeing someone dashing upstairs.

"Hey, wait up," Ichigo called to them out of habit, earning him a smack upside the head from Rukia.

"This is a _noble family _we're dealing with," she hissed.

Well, at least it worked; a middle-aged fat guy bounded right back down to them. He glanced around uneasily. "Were you followed?"

"No sir."

"Good. I shall just go get my children, then…" He looked around, as if seeing all the damage for the first time, then sighed heavily and went up the winding staircase.

"Where exactly are we taking them?" Matsumoto asked Byakuya.

"If you had been paying attention, perhaps you would know, Lieutenant."

Matsumoto's temple throbbed, and Rukia sighed. "Far out into the outer limits."

"_Thank you_, Rukia! How _kind _of you to answer my question!" Matsumoto said rather loudly, making everyone sweatdrop.

"I do believe being in the human world for so long has affected your Lieutenant's mental well-being, Captain Hitsugaya," Byakuya commented calmly.

"Do you, now, Captain Kuchiki," was Toshiro's dry reply, obviously feeling very cranky and sleep-deprived.

While the two Captains started going back and forth in a cold-yet-polite manner, which was really fricking annoying, Ichigo noticed Matsumoto slipping some scraps of food into her bag before eating some herself.

She saw him looking and just beamed, clasping her hands together to bust her infamous "Look At My Cleavage Move".

"What_ever_ are you looking at, Ichigo?" She asked innocently. He jumped back and did a Spastic Wet Noodle Dance. "N-Nothing! Stop making me look like such a pervert!"

Everyone sweatdropped as what remained of the Miyamotos decided to come downstairs at that very moment, and were all looking at Ichigo and Matsumoto curiously.

There was a guy and two girls with the fat guy now, and Byakuya cleared his throat.

"If you are all ready, shall we get-"

**POOF!**

* * *

Everyone watched with wide eyes as none other than Peyton Cullen tumbled out of Matsumoto's bag spastically, shimmering in and out of different auras before settling on one that resonated much like a Soul Reaper.

"CRAP! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO LAST LONGER!" Peyton shouted in annoyance as she stood up and brushed herself off.

Everyone stared at her in stunned silence. Byakuya's mouth was slack, as even _he _had been caught by surprise.

It wasn't something you would expect to see on his face.

Toshiro had a "Oh, FUCK" look on his face, and Matsumoto held up a finger while laughing nervously.

Peyton ran a hand through her hair and gave everyone a wave.

"…Why, hell-OOO there, everybody."


	49. I Spy and Byakuya's Headpiece

**Me: Soo, i wasn't the ONLY ONE who found that ending funny!**

**(Looks around to see we ARE, in fact, in a cliffhanger. Therefore, since all characters are involved in said cliffie, i am all alone. AGAIN.)**

**Still Me: ...FUCK! Well, happy Fourth of July for those who celebrate it, like me, over here in the USA. Otherwise...happy Sunday? haha Enjoy.**

* * *

Matsumoto was the first to respond.

"...Peyton, how the hell did _you_ get in my bag?"

She and Toshiro just gave her a glare, and she sighed. "Awww...I really don't want to have to face all that paperwork.." She moaned.

"What does THAT have to do with anything?" Renji asked.

"Not much. I just wanted to make sure you knew that, Captain Hitsugaya," was her huffy reply.

Byakuya cleared his throat in an attempt to get Rukia's jaw back up to its normal length and to maintain a little bit of order on his precious mission.

Although, judging by the looks on the Miyamotos' faces, it was a bit too late for that. Ichigo seemed to be in just plain shock.

"...How the HELL are you HERE? In Soul Society?"

She waved him off. "Jeez, Kurosaki, have some faith. You and I both know I'm not your average person."

A fat guy who she assumed was the head of the family cleared his throat importantly and held up a hand. "My apologies, but I am admittedly a bit lost...Who exactly _are _you?"

She beamed and held out a hand. "Oh, me? I'm Peyton. Peyton Cullen, to be exact."

He just stared at it, and she popped her knuckles instead with a temple throb.

Byakuya just let out a rather pained sigh. "...I suppose it would be a waste of breath to try and have someone get her back to the Human World before she humiliates us all?"

"Damn right it would be," was Ichigo's reply. Peyton bit her lower lip to keep from grinning at the look on Kuchiki's face.

Rukia pointed at Matsumoto. "...Urahara."

She and Toshiro nodded. "His Drunken Revenge, as I like to call it," Matsumoto stated calmly as Byakuya started to put two and two together.

"If it were up to me, you would be demoted five times over and would be thanking me for my mercy," Byakuya commented before adding, "Waste of time, Captain Hitsugaya," as Toshiro's hand impulsively grazed the hilt of his zanpakuto.

Rukia nodded. "Unfortunately, Captain Kuchiki is right. We have a duty to fulfill, here."

"...What makes you think I was about to prolong our delay?" Toshiro replied cooly.

Peyton put her hands on her hips. "I'm not a DELAY! I'm a...present that forgot to get wrapped properly. Yeah. That's it."

* * *

"How did Hat-And-Clogs _do_ it?" Ichigo asked. Poor guy still didn't seem to quite comprehend that she was actually here. In Soul Society. Alive. And without a _single _scratch!

"It was mostly _me_, he just helped me figure out _how_ to do it. All I had to do was bend my aura right. It was like skipping lines in Disney, only a lot more compact. He helped me with that part. Some pill. It makes me _very_ flexible. I don't think it wears off any time soon, either!" She explained brightly.

Renji had a suggestive look on his face, and Ichigo glared at him. "Make ONE comment on her extra flexibility, and I'll be forced to trim your Pineapple Head even further."

"Oh yeah? Well, maybe I'll call up your dad so he can kick your ass, AGAIN!"

"HEY, THAT WAS _ONE_ TIME! AND ALL BECAUSE OF THE CAST THAT _PEYTON_ MADE ME HAVE TO GET!"

"Nooo, don't you go and blame _me_, it was your HOLLOW, moron!" Peyton interjected defensively.

Byakuya sighed exasperatedly. "All of you, SILENCE! ...We have. A duty. So. FULFILL IT!"

Everyone stared at him as he breathed heavily due to his little outburst, and Peyton laughed anxiously. "So, Noble Miyamotos. Shall we get going?"

The younger guy leaned towards what Peyton assumed was his eldest sister. "...Are they _honestly_ supposed to protect us?"

She nodded sadly, and all three Nobles sighed heavily. The Soul Reapers' temples throbbed, and Peyton shrugged. "Hey, don't feel too bad, Miyamotos. If all else fails, you have _me_!"

"Don't tell them that, they'll think they're heading for impending doom for SURE!"

"SHUT UP RENJI, NO ONE ASKED YOU!"

"Ms. Cullen, I suggest you not make too much of a stir. I could summon you back to the Human World in a heartbeat," Byakuya advised.

She huffed and made faces at him behind his back, and Matsumoto snickered as quietly as possible.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Okay, _I _spy with _my _little eye, _somethiiiiiiinnngg_...Oooh! Something red!"

Peyton looked around frantically for anything red. "Hmm. Renji's hair?"

"Noooo, not Renji-san!" Chiyoko chirped. She was the youngest, only eight, and Peyton had brought it upon herself to save her from a horrible death. Cause? Utter boredom.

"Hmm. What indeed. _My _hair?"

"Nooo, not yours either, Peyton-chan!" She said with a sneaky grin.

"Well, crap. Hmm...That leaf right there?"

"Nooo."

"THAT leaf?"

"Nooo."

"_Matsumoto's _hair?" Renji asked.

The other Soul Reapers looked at him, and he shrugged. "They're right, this mission so far is utter boredom."

Chiyoko smiled and shook her head quickly. "Nooo, Renji-san, her hair is ORANGE!"

"Oh. Crap. Oooh, oooh, ICHIGO'S hair!" He shouted proudly.

Everyone sweatdropped, and Chiyoko giggled. "Nooo, Ichigo-san's hair is orange, TOO!"

"Duh," Peyton and Rukia said at the same time, exchanging a smirk. Renji drooped. "Worth a shot.."

Suddenly, Toshiro flashed a smug grin. "The fourth chain to the right on your bracelet, which is currently hidden by your right sleeve."

Chiyoko stared at him in amazement. "Yes, you're RIGHT, Captain Hitsugaya!"

Peyton grinned. The kid was the only one who called him that out of actual respect, as far as she knew.

Renji huffed. "How in the _hell _did you see that, Hitsugaya?"

"She hitched her sleeve up earlier when guessing what yellow item Peyton had seen," he replied matter-of-factly.

Peyton beamed. "Oh, you're good. I am SO having you help me with some video games when this is over."

"Your turn, Captain Hitsugaya!" Chiyoko cried out giddily. Arisu, her older sister, and their brother, who had YET to mention his name, exchanged a sigh.

Peyton glanced at them. "Feel free to play. You know you want to."

"I...do?" Arisu asked in confusion. Oh, that's right; Peyton had to be very choosy with her words. Apparently sarcasm was a lost art around Nobles, and they took things literally way too much.

"Yes, you do. You see...I...am PSYCHIC."

* * *

Renji and Rukia rolled their eyes, and Matsumoto glanced back in interest. Ichigo just grinned to himself, and Toshiro sighed before muttering, "HERE we go..."

Chiyoko and her father, Tetsuo, gasped in amazement. Their other two family members were a lot more skeptical.

"Are you really?" The brother asked in a disbelieving tone.

She nodded brightly. "Yep. I'll prove it."

"Oh, yeah? What did I have for breakfast this morning?" Ichigo asked, knowing good and well she had overheard it in Matsumoto's bag.

"...Waffles. As did Rukia," she replied in her most wise and sagely tone. He and Rukia pretended to be absolutely stunned.

"No WAY! How did you know?"

Peyton shrugged. "It's a gift. I understand you're amazed, and that's okay."

The brother and sister were more-or-less SOLD. Chiyoko giggled. "I knew there was something special about you, Peyton-chan!"

"Is she _really_?" Byakuya hissed at Rukia, who nodded solemnly. "What did I do first this morning?" He asked Peyton carefully.

She closed her eyes dramatically, and Matsumoto steered her out of the way of random obstacles.

"Hmmm...I am sensing...I am _seeensiiiing_...Ah-HA! You got dressed, took care of your hygeine, but _then_...you had to make a quick run to get some more of your silver clips, since one of them broke!" She concluded ominously.

All the Soul Reapers tried not to laugh too hard as he gave her a look that could kill. For her credit, she didn't falter at all.

"...It is a headpiece. Formerly known as a kenseikan. It symbolizes my _nobility_. And grace. Two things you are horribly lacking."

Peyton cocked her head to the side. "Really now, a headpiece? Huh. Never would've guessed." With a shrug, she looked to Toshiro.

"I think it's your turn."

Renji smirked. "Captain, you never denied that happened. Did it...?"

Byakuya's glare only intensified. "Keep moving, Lieutenant Abarai," he growled.

Renji turned to look at Ichigo. "You're right. Peyton's growling really _is _sexier."

Everyone just sweatdropped as Peyton opened her mouth to say something, but sighed and shook her head as if to say "I'm not even gonna GO there".

Arisu raised a hand regally. "I guess I shall include myself in this game of 'I Spy'."

The brother nodded. "As will I. It appears it has some interesting fellow players."

Ichigo lingered back. "Hey, Peyton."

"Yeah?"

"How did you _not _squirm when he was staring at you like that?"

She shrugged. "My dad's about ten times scarier when he hasn't had his morning coffee and I do something stupid."

He laughed, and Toshiro announced rather loudly, "I spy, with my AVERAGE-SIZED eye...something...white."

"YOUR HAIR!" Ichigo and Peyton immediately shouted. Toshiro sweatdropped. "...No."

She sighed. "He's right. Too obvious."

"True, true."

Chiyoko grinned sneakily. "The white part of Matsumoto-san's eyes!"

Toshiro eyed her suspiciously. "...Are _you_ psychic?"


	50. Ninjas? NINJAS! And No Rednecks!

**Me: YOU'RE BACK! **

**Ichigo and Rukia: (covering ears) FUCK, Mandy! What the hell's your problem?**

**Me: (sneaks cake for me and Ichigo out of Rukia's Chappy bag) Nothing NOW... (secretively hands Ichigo his share)**

**Ichigo: ...Man, i missed you! **

**Me: (Sweatdrops) Am i supposed to take that seriously? Kiss-ass.**

**Rukia: (in the background, looking high and low for something) Hey, where the fuck did my cake go?**

**Me and Ichigo: (take a few bites of our cakes before hiding it behind our backs) ...Enjoy!**

* * *

After Toshiro and Chiyoko's ultimate I-Spy Showdown resulted in Toshiro being beaten by an eight-year-old, which Chiyoko and Renji would NOT let go, they were still walking when they had their first run-in with trouble.

Of course, they didn't immediately realize that.

"Okay, so what you do is, you lay your palm like this, facing up. Then you make your hand into a fist, like THIS. You hit it lightly against your palm three times while saying the magical chant of 'Rock, Paper, Scissors, SHOOT!'. You can either form your fist hand into rock, which is just a fist, paper, which is flat like THIS, or scissors, which look like...y'know, scissors, aka THIS. Paper covers rock, rock crushes scissors, and scissors cut paper," Peyton explained.

She turned to Toshiro. "Care to help me demonstrate, Captain? Figured you could use a shot at redemption," she added with a smirk, which of course guaranteed his help.

He nodded confidently. "You're on."

"Rock, paper, scissors, SHOOT!" Peyton groaned rather loudly as Toshiro crushed her scissors with his fist.

"There, that's how it's done. So, you wanna play?"

"Yes!" Chiyoko said immediately, amazed by her Human World Boredom-Fighter Games. "Usually, we do best two out of three. That means we do three rounds, and whoever wins the most rounds, plays against a new player. But I really wanna see you beat Toshiro again, so...game on!" She declared.

Chiyoko was practically bouncing in place. "But after this, I'm playing YOU, Peyton-chan!"

"Cool."

"Cool," Arisu repeated.

"Means 'awesome'," Renji informed her.

"Idiot, if she didn't know what _cool _was, what makes you think she'll know what _awesome _is?" Ichigo asked dully.

"Worth a shot! If you think you can do better, why don't YOU explain 'cool', Strawberry?"

"Easy. _I'm _cool. _Renji's _the opposite of cool," he informed her, and she nodded slowly in amazement.

Peyton rolled her eyes as he and Renji then started a stupid argument over it. "Would y'all both cut it out? Jeez."

They eventually stopped and settled with just glaring at each other while walking.

"Y'all?" Arisu asked cautiously; it sounded weird since she didn't have even the slightest accent, like Peyton.

"That's Peyton's strange Southern dialect...What did you call it, Ichigo? ...Uhh...Oh! Redneck," Renji explained.

Peyton's temple throbbed, and Ichigo did a Spazzy Wet Noodle Dance. "Hey, I never said that! Our VP's more redneck than SHE is!"

She just smacked them both upside the head for extra measure, and Ichigo huffed. "Dammit, Renji."

"Karma," he commented simply.

She turned so she was walking backwards and could look at Arisu. "Y'all is slang for 'You all'. Where I come from, it's a very common phrase. And I am NOT much of a redneck, for the record, although I _did _get a sunburn on the back of my neck once and people kept calling me one..."

She looked off in thought, then shrugged and walked normally. "Y'all..Redneck," Arisu muttered to herself, as if committing them to memory, but it was so quiet that Peyton doubted anyone else heard.

They heard Toshiro groan, and Chiyoko laughed giddily. "I won the 'tiebreaker', Captain Hitsugaya! You lose! Peyton-chan, your turn."

The two girls grinned before holding out their palms dramatically. "Rock, paper, scissors, SHOOT!"

"Crap!"

"I rule at this game, do I not, Peyton-chan?"

"Yeah, you do. Okay, next one. Rock, paper, sc- HOLY CRAP, DUCK!" Peyton shouted as she knocked Chiyoko to the ground.

"What is the meaning of this?" Tetsuo exclaimed, outraged.

She wordlessly pointed to a throwing knife, which was currently impaled to the spot where his daughter had been standing moments before.

"How the hell did you see that coming?" Renji asked.

"Holy shit...You really ARE psychic!" Ichigo shouted, pointing at her enthusiastically.

* * *

Peyton's temple throbbed. "NOOO, I'm not. The dude's right over there, in plain sight! How come no one's fighting him yet?"

She pointed to a branch that was jutting out of a tree, on which a guy in all black was perched. He was looking at them...smugly. Which was weird, since she had just blocked his attack.

"Uhh...Peyton, there's no one there," Matsumoto said slowly, hand on the hilt of her zanpakuto just in case.

._..What?_

Peyton shook her head as the dude apparated away. "How did you NOT see that?"

"Because there was nothing there," Byakuya replied shortly.

"Then how the hell is THIS here?" She retorted, holding up the throwing knife. _What if I hadn't seen him in time? This thing's hella sharp, and it was heading right for her neck..._

She shivered involuntarily, but it wasn't due to her thoughts. "Do you feel that?"

Rukia turned to Byakuya. "Do you think it might be exhaustion, Captain Kuchiki?"

"I'm not exhausted! This is _nothing _compared to the physical fitness test at my old school!" She snapped.

Ichigo gripped the hilt of Zangetsu. "I feel it, too. It's strange...kind of like reiatsu, but...not as..obvious, I guess?"

Peyton smirked. "See, I TOLD you, but why would I be right? I'm never right! See, you Soul Reapers need to just tru- Renji, to your right!"

Renji jumped to the far left and unsheathed his zanpakuto. "Jeez, Peyton, that scared the hell out of me."

She ignored him, looking to Ichigo. "You felt it too? Felt it get stronger?"

He nodded. "Yeah. She's right. Someone's here."

"More than one someone," Peyton muttered. "Toshiro's left, Matsumoto's right, Rukia- in front of you!" She shouted.

Each swung in that direction, but only Toshiro managed to land a blow. His eyes widened a fraction as they saw a bit of blood spurt out and fall to the ground.

"What is _happening_?" Tetsuo asked, beyond confused. "We're finally getting some action, THAT'S what's happening," Renji replied as he and Peyton backed up a little to stay close to the Nobles and prevent their harm.

"Ichigo, behind! Rukia, right, Matsumoto, right, Byakuya, left and right!"

It carried on like that for a good ten minutes, but eventually three assassins lay dead and two had retreated.

Peyton patted Chiyoko's shoulder to try and calm her down. She was still a bit shaky after it sunk in that she had just had a brush with death.

"T-Thank you, Cullen-san," Arisu muttered. "You saved my sister."

She shrugged. "I tagged along for more than just to stop _worrying_."

Toshiro bent down and pulled some kind of necklace away from one of their necks. "I know this symbol...The Iga clan."

"Iga clan?" Peyton and Ichigo repeated, totally clueless.

Byakuya's mouth pressed into an even straighter line. "...A clan dedicated to train their families into hired assassins...Ninjas, to be exact."

Despite themselves, they both chuckled. "Heh, ninjas."

"This is serious, you dumbasses!" Rukia snapped, and they quickly shut up.

"Do you think..." Peyton began, but then she cut off and shook her head. "Nevermind."

_Are they able to bend their auras, too? Is that why no one else could see them? But then, how come Ichigo felt their whatchyamacallits, um...REIATSU! Yeah, that. How come he felt that, too? Ugh, fuck, they made my brain hurt. Damn ninjas. They must be BRAIN NINJAS...Hahaha that would make an interesting anime...Ninjas..._

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

Everyone had been on high alert since that ambush, but now everyone was just plain tired. Tetsuo was carrying Chiyoko, Arisu was leaning on her brother, and her brother's eyes were half-open.

They had been going non-stop most of the day, and only stopped a few times on the way for "potty breaks".

After Peyton stumbled for about the eightieth time, Ichigo rolled his eyes and gestured to his back. "Hop on."

She huffed defiantly. "I'm fine! I just can't see that well, is all. I tripped on a root."

"THAT many times?"

"Yes."

"Uh-huh," he said with a smirk as she yawned rather loudly. She huffed again. "I'm not _tired_!"

"C'mon, just hop on, I'm cold anyways."

Finally, she sighed and jumped right onto his back with ease. "Fine. But _only _because you want me to."

"Sure."

"I mean it!"

"Of course you do."

"Stop that!"

"Stop what?"

"Being all...sarcastic-y."

"Wow, why do I feel like we've had this conversation before?"

"Because we have. Only I think _I _was the sarcastic-y one last time."

"Most likely. You practically _bleed _sarcasm."

"And you don't?"

"I never said THAT."

She just shook her head before resting it on his shoulder, and he kissed her cheek. "Is the public display of affection absolutely necessary?" Byakuya asked dryly.

"YES, some of us need to stay awake. Any form of entertainment is totally welcome," was Matsumoto's reply, and Peyton laughed a little before yawning again.

She noticed something kind of funny, in a weird not-really-funny-but-makes-you-laugh-in-a-OHHH-YEAH!-kind-of-way.

It was kind of like their first date, or what she could put under that category, at least. She was wearing his jacket, it was freezing, and she was falling asleep on his back.

Weird.

Not that she was complaining or anything.

_**

* * *

**_

_**AN ****HOUR LATER...**_

"I implore you, please, we _must _stop for the night!" Tetsuo exclaimed wearily. He had already shifted Chiyoko from being in his arms, to over his shoulder, to on his back like Ichigo had Peyton, and then back to in his arms.

His other kids looked like dead people walking.

And to be honest, Ichigo was damn tired. But at least he was warm, and Peyton wasn't really that heavy, so he was happy about THAT.

Toshiro nodded in agreement. "Remember, Captain Kuchiki, Soul Reapers are not the only ones present on this trek."

"And _I'm _hella tired, too," Matsumoto added, making Toshiro's temple throb. "Lieutenant, you sound like a child."

"Fine. _Call _me a child, if it means I can go to _bed_," she replied. She pointed to Peyton, who was fast asleep. "SHE gets to sleep! Honestly, I wish I had someone to carry ME around..."

"NO," everyone said in unison, and she huffed before hurrying to fall in stride with Byakuya.

"Captain Kuchiki, we really should stop. Have you forgotten that Peyton's the only one who can see the assassins that we know of thus far? And if she's _asleep_, that leaves us pretty much defenseless."

"You make a good point. Perhaps you are a lieutenant for a legitimate reason after all. Kurosaki, wake her up."

"No way! She'd kill me!"

Renji made the "Whipped" motion with his wrist, adding rather loud sound effects. AGAIN. "Oh, give it a rest, would ya?" Ichigo snapped.

Matsumoto smirked. "If he's whipped, I'm surprised more guys aren't. I mean, from what Rukia said you guys heard from the other side of his door a few days ago, I think it _certainly _pays off.."

Toshiro nodded. "Excellent point, Lieutenant."

"What in the name of the King are you _talking _about?" Tetsuo asked wearily. Renji just shook his head. "Sir, you do NOT wanna know."

Ichigo's temple throbbed. "If I didn't have Peyton on my back, you'd be dead right now."

Byakuya finally sighed and turned to face the group. "It is obvious that everyone's patience is running thin. Perhaps your Lieutenant was right, Captain Hitsugaya. If my knowledge is correct, I believe there's a village nearby. We shall stay there for the night."

"YES!" Matsumoto and Renji exclaimed. Toshiro let out a little sigh of relief, Rukia yawned happily, and Ichigo adjusted Peyton's grip around his neck before nodding at Matsumoto.

"We all owe you."

Toshiro sighed with agitation. "Don't say that, Ichigo. Now her paperwork will NEVER get done."

Matsumoto perked up, and Toshiro simply stated, "NO."

"Damn you!"

"What was that?"

"Nothing, Captain, not a thing. I was merely admiring your sheath!"

"That's what I _thought_, Lieutenant," he said smugly.

Arisu and her brother eyed Matsumoto strangely as she pretended to murder her superior in many creative ways behind his back.

* * *

**Me: Wow...Can you believe it? The end of chapter 50. FIFTY! And we have over 170 reviews as of 3:43 PM today. **

**Ichigo: Yeah...All my humiliation, epicness, bruises, love life, all in print...it's lasted THIS long so far...**

**Rukia: I like it!**

**Ichigo: Of course YOU do, it rarely makes a fool out of YOU.**

**Me: Admit it, Ichigo, you like it just as much as we do.**

**Ichigo: Maybe a little bit. BUT ONLY A LITTLE!**

**Me: (hands him cake) Good boy. You earned it!**

**Ichigo: (smiles sweetly) Mandy, i LOVE this fic!**

**Me: Nice try, ass. (grins at audience) Thanks so much you guys for all the alerts, faves, reviews...It's amazing. BYE!**

**Ichigo: Jeez, you make it sound like we're never updating this again.**

**Me: (shrugs) We hit the fifty-chap and almost-200-reviews mark. It's a special occasion! **

**Rukia: (solemnly) On this day of July 5th, 2010, i do declare this a special occasion that calls for lots of applause-**

**Me and Ichigo: AND cake, Rukia.**

**Rukia: (death glare in our general direction) ...And cake.**

**Me and Ichigo: HELL YEAH! SEE YOU LATER, GUYS! (run off to find her secret stash of cake)**

**Rukia: (sighs and looks at audience) See what i have to put up with? Bye, review, see you next time.**

**Rukia: (runs after us with random butterfly net) TOUCH MY STASH, AND YOU'RE BOTH FUCKING DEAD!**


	51. And Then There Were TWO TagAlongs!

**Me: So, we're back!**

**Rukia: ALL of us.**

**Ichigo: Yep.**

**Me: I got some long reviews after the fiftieth chap. it was cool! i'm glad someone noticed Peyton's Dane Cook reference. So YES, spaceisforstars, that WAS Dane Cook-ness (grins)**

**Ichigo: I liked the one from the two sisters that said their wake-up call was gonna suck since they stayed up all night. What were their names, uhhhh...uhhh...OH! VivianAndAbby. Yep, that's it. AND they gave us triple D's for awesomeness! AND they liked my dia- ...JOURNAL.**

**Me: (rolls eyes) Journal, my ass. It's a diary.**

**Ichigo: OF MANLINESS!**

**Me: Whatever. And the one about reading the fic all day, then coming back from Subway right when i updated was cool too. Thanks for that, KrazyKyuubi!**

**Rukia: There was one i liked, from crazysane. it mentioned sneaking past their parents because they weren't supposed to be on the computer after midnight, but started reading this at 11:55 or something and just couldn't stop reading.**

**Me: And of course, the reviews i usually get from MiloMaxwell, Maxride4life, animelover1993, X-ParadeOfJoy-X, shadowxofxdarkness, ultima-owner, and so many others! Thanks!**

**Ichigo: (yawns) Can we move on now? This is so fucking boring. Oh, but I, ICHIGO KUROSAKI, want to thank ultima-owner first. THE CAKE IS A LIE! I love that game..**

**Me: (rolls eyes) Whatever. You with your dramatic effects. Although, that IS a cool game, Portal. Anyways, enjoy!**

* * *

"C'mon, hurry up, get up!" Matsumoto shouted in Peyton's ear, making her jolt awake and into a sitting position.

"What, what's wrong?"

Rukia was already awake, combing her hand through her hair and looking out a window. They were in a little hut, from what Peyton could gather. "Nothing's wrong. We're just hungry."

"_Starving_, to be exact," Matsumoto chimed, rifling through her bag until she pulled out a brush. She then brushed the hell out of Rukia's hair, which the tiny Soul Reaper seemed to utterly despise.

"I CAN TAKE CARE OF MY _OWN _HAIR, THANK YOU!"

"I can see that. If you didn't want me fooling with it, you shouldn't have forgotten to bring a brush," Matsumoto replied matter-of-factly.

Peyton stretched and stood up, smirking at them. They sounded just like her and Lindsay. She felt a sudden twinge of homesickness at that random thought, but it was gone just as quickly.

"Where are we? And how the hell did I get here?" She asked with a yawn.

Matsumoto glanced over at her. "Oh. I convinced Kuchiki to let us stop in a village for the night. With any luck, he's still asleep, and we can go re-stock on some GOOD food before _he _gets some."

Rukia made a face. "Don't even _mention_ his idea of food. He seems to take to heart that a Soul Reaper must travel as lightly as possible...How does he stay _fed_?" She wondered out loud, to which all three shrugged with a "Hmm" noise.

"And as to how YOU got here, YOU got to get carried for a good three miles. Well, maybe longer, if you count finding our way to the village," Rukia continued.

Matsumoto giggled. "He carried you right over there, and kissed you _goooooodnniiiiiigghhht_!" She cooed, making Peyton's temple throb and Rukia just smirk.

"What about Toshiro? Did _he_ kiss _you_ goodnight?" Peyton replied slyly, barely blinking as Matsumoto gave her a look that could kill.

"Of course not. _He _is my Captain, _I _am his Lieutenant. _End _of story."

"Mmmhmm."

"STOP QUESTIONING IT!"

"Ma'am yes ma'am!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**LATER****...**_

"I still don't get it. I thought Soul Society was supposed to be this awesome place with no worries," Peyton commented as they wandered the poor village.

"It is for those higher up. It's actually much like the Human World. Nearly identical problems. In fact, over here, souls very rarely find each other in the afterlife," Rukia replied solemnly.

"Then why do you.."

"Lie?" Matsumoto suggested, tossing a kiwi from hand to hand carelessly. She scoffed. "Would YOU come to the other side if you knew you were just as better off in the Human World?"

"Except HERE, there aren't any Hollows. So why not just tell them _that_?" Peyton asked.

"That's too honest," Rukia replied bitterly with a shake of the head at the whole thing.

They were a little less talkative after that. Until they heard painfully familiar voices shouting nearby.

The three exchanged a sigh. "They're up."

* * *

Ichigo eyed it cautiously. "What the hell is _that _supposed to be?"

Renji shrugged, staring at it with curiosity. "Captain Kuchiki said it was a fruit, but I dunno what the hell kind of fruit smells like THAT."

Ichigo sniffed it, then sneezed. "Ew. It smells like moldy cheese...and socks."

Renji sighed exasperatedly and tossed it at Toshiro's head. "Here, this one's no good. Ichigo sneezed all over it!"

Toshiro caught it with ease, making Renji droop and Ichigo smirk. He turned to look at them. "Great. Captain Kuchiki is not going to like MORE delays."

"Why didn't he just come here and grab some food himself?" Renji asked moodily, ripping a random leaf off a branch and picking it apart absently.

"Because he has brought it upon himself to watch the Miyamoto family while we're away."

Ichigo sweatdropped. "Isn't _Peyton _the only one who can see the assassins?"

"I tried telling him that, but he just said he had their room rigged. He said he'd be able to see them just fine," Toshiro replied, and anyone could hear the heavy doubt in his voice.

"Speaking of which, last night was all your fault," Renji commented, pointing a finger at Ichigo.

His scowl deepened. "Oh yeah? My fault we got to sleep? Oh, I'm such a terrible person."

"NO, your fault that the other chicks of the group wanted to get carried around. ALL YOU!"

"Well, sorry for being so awesome to my girlfriend! Maybe if you treated RUKIA good once in a while..."

"RUKIA'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!"

Toshiro held up a finger, then shook his head. "I'm not getting into this," he muttered. They ignored him.

"You say that NOW. I bet you fifty bucks you hook up by the time summer gets here."

"Well, you're wrong, AS USUAL!"

"I'm right more often than YOU! You're the one who had to give me and Peyton sixty bucks because you were too much of a DUMBASS to realize we were already together!"

"Oh, you wanna bring up past prediction fails, Strawberry? What about the time Toshiro and Matsumoto hooked up at that ONE party and you said they would remember later?"

"We did NO SUCH THING!" Toshiro exclaimed, and Renji pointed at him. "See? You didn't remember! ICHIGO was WRONG AGAIN!"

"OH YEAH? What about the time you got the SHIT beat out of you by Byakuya and I told you whenever you and Rukia made out again, the same thing would happen? AND IT DID. So stick THAT up your pineapple ass!"

"YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE, STRAWBERRY?"

"We ARE outside, dumbass."

"...Oh. Then I'll just kick your orange ass NOW!" He shouted as he literally kicked Ichigo in the ass, sending him flying right through a stand and sliding until he was right in front of a very familiar pair of shoes.

Peyton sweatdropped about three times, and finally spoke. "...That's his HOT ORANGE ass to you," she stated as she took a bite out of her mango.

* * *

Ichigo looked up at her. "A little assistance?"

She smiled and grabbed his good hand, and he sprung right up. "One day. ONE DAY, this will come back and bite you in the ass, you Trimmed Pineapple Head!" Ichigo said ominously, still holding Peyton's hand.

Renji just sighed. "Dammit, that Demon Dog..."

"Maybe it just wants a career in cosmetics?" Peyton offered.

"Oh, shut the hell up! You and Strawberry can just kiss my ASS!"

Matsumoto eyed Toshiro strangely. "...Captain, you alright?"

He was bright red, and just shook his head quickly as if shaking away evil thoughts. "...Fine."

Peyton looked to Ichigo, who just smirked and shook his head. "I'll tell you later."

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Byakuya and Tetsuo were waiting outside the hut for them when they all walked up. And were soon sweatdropping.

Rukia and Renji were shouting at the top of their lungs about who was the better Soul Reaper and why they could never date each other.

Matsumoto was flitting around Toshiro, asking him over and over what was wrong while offering random scenarios to help figure out what it was, while his temple was throbbing and he tried his best to ignore her.

Peyton and Ichigo were arguing over which one stepped on her mango, him or Renji. Inbetween which he kept trying to get her to let him win by kissing her in random places. But to her credit, she wasn't relenting.

"SOUL REAPERS! ..._And_ Ms. Cullen!" Byakuya finally shouted. They all fell silent, blinking at him innocently.

He opened his mouth to continue, but was interrupted when they heard crashing inside the hut. Everyone exchanged a look and ran in, and their jaws dropped at what they saw.

A girl fighting air, and the three Miyamoto siblings watching on in terror.

Two assassins lay dead, and soon two more dropped to the ground to join them. She looked up at them all, panting, and cracked a half-smile.

"I saw them heading this way. Guess I still have that fighting in me." Peyton noticed that Ichigo went rigid at the sight of this girl.

Suddenly, the girl's eyes widened as well. "Wait...Ichigo?"

The Soul Reapers all looked cautiously to Ichigo, as if wondering how he would handle it. He blinked a couple times.

"...Senna."

* * *

Senna grinned, amber eyes crinkling happily. "You DO remember. I knew you would."

Renji leaned towards Rukia. "But...How is she even..?"

She shook her head stiffly, gaze flitting between Ichigo and Senna. Chiyoko ran up to Peyton. "Peyton-chan, you missed the ninjas! They tried to grab Arisu, it was scary," she exclaimed, hugging her waist.

Senna cocked her head. "Who're _you_?"

She flashed a half-wave before holding out her hand. "Peyton. Call it a hunch, but I'm guessing your name's Senna."

She shook it with a grin. "Yep, that's me!" Chiyoko glanced up from Peyton's shirt, which was now slightly wet.

"Thank you, Senna-san."

Senna ruffled her hair. "No problem."

Ichigo looked more confused than when Peyton tumbled out of Matsumoto's bag, which was saying something.

_Actually, come to think of it, EVERYONE looks plain confused..._

Senna looked Peyton up and down. "Something tells me you're not a Soul Reaper."

She shook her head. "Nope. Just taggin' along."

Chiyoko's eyes widened excitedly. "I just had the most excellent idea! You should come _with _us, Senna-san!"

"NO!" The Soul Reapers exclaimed, making the others jump. They seemed to have suddenly regained total control of their mouths as they started shouting more words of disagreement all at once.

Chiyoko huffed. "But SOUL REAPERS, don't you see? Senna-san can see the ninjas as well. So that way, when Peyton-chan sleeps on Ichigo-san's back, SHE can keep us safe too!"

Senna cocked an eyebrow at Peyton and Ichigo. "Sleep on Ichigo's back?"

Peyton waved her off. "Ehhh, it's nothing, really. I think Chiyoko has a point. Why not let her tag along?"

Everyone slowly quieted down. They looked to Ichigo, as if his opinion was suddenly the most important of all.

He dragged Peyton out of the room and to the side of the hut without another word. Senna watched them with a sweatdrop, then looked to everone else. "Do they do that often?"

* * *

"What the hell are you _thinking_?" He asked once they were outside.

Peyton gave him a look. "I could ask you the same thing. What the hell's _wrong _with you guys?"

"Senna's just...she's..."

"She's just what?"

He glanced around, then sighed. "...You have no idea what you're getting yourself into, you know that?"

She laced her fingers with the ones poking out of his cast, then smirked up at him. "Since when have I _ever_ known what I'm getting myself into with you? Tell me, what's so bad about this Senna chick?"

"Nothing's BAD about her, just...she shouldn't be..." He sighed again. "If she tags along, will you drop it?"

"No."

"But she's tagging along anyways."

"Yes."

He chuckled and shook his head before kissing her forehead. "I'm telling you, within three hours, you're gonna wish she never showed up."

"Oh, we'll see about that," she replied confidently, squeezing his fingers for emphasis.


	52. Fireworks, Faceplants, And Senna

**Me: We're back! Cool, i made the right decision roping Senna into this!**

**Ichigo: An EVIL decision.**

**Me: MUAHAHAHAHA!**

**Rukia: (blinks) ...No cake for you today.**

**Me: RUUUKIAAAAA! THAT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR!**

**Ichigo: HA! Welcome to my world, Mandy.**

**Me: Your world sucks ASS!**

**Ichigo: Tell me about it.**

**Rukia: Whatever. Enjoy!**

_**

* * *

**_

_**TWO ****HOURS AND FIFTY-NINE MINUTES LATER...**_

"Rock, paper, scissors, SHOOT!"

"Dammit!" Senna exclaimed as Chiyoko beat her yet again.

"Rock, paper, scissors, SHOOT!"

"YES!" Peyton shouted as she covered Ciyoko's rock. Senna gave her a challenging smirk. "I bet I could take you on."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"You're on."

"Rock, paper scissors, SHOOT!"

Tie.

"Rock, paper, scissors, SHOOT!"

"CRAP!" One for Senna.

"Rock, paper, scissors, SHOOT!"

"CRAP!" One for Peyton.

"Tiebreaker," they said in total unison, with determined glares and shit-eating grins that were nearly identical.

Renji and Ichigo shivered. "They scare me," Renji muttered. Rukia rolled her eyes.

"Rock, paper, scissors...SHOOT!"

"NOOOO!" Peyton wailed as Senna cut her paper ceremoniously, pretending to wad it up and toss it into a trash can dramatically.

Matsumoto held up a finger. "Ichigo, that's three hours. Pay up." He dished out twenty-seven bucks, and Matsumoto gave Toshiro fifteen of it.

"You seriously bet I'd wish she hadn't tagged along in three hours tops?" Peyton asked with a sweatdrop.

"Nope. He bet that you'd wanna SHOOT HER in three hours tops," Matsumoto replied brightly. Peyton sweatdropped some more, and Senna's temple throbbed.

"I can see how much you've missed me, Ichigo."

"I didn't mention HOPING she's shoot you!"

"It was IMPLIED!"

"Was not!"

"_Peyyyytooon_?" They whined, wanting her input. She looked from Senna to Ichigo, then just sighed and shook her head. "I'm just gonna eat my second mango," she stated as she looked to Matsumoto, who tossed her a mango.

Byakuya's head whipped around at the mention of fruit. "Lieutenant, where did you get that mango?"

"The village, of course."

"That wasn't on the list of approved items!"

She and Peyton sweatdropped. "There was a list..?" They asked in unison.

Byakuya just shook his head, and Peyton tossed Chiyoko a slice. She turned to look at Arisu. "You want one?"

She looked to be starving, but shook her head. "No thank you, Cullen-san."

"You sure? You look about half-starved."

"There is no noble way to eat a mango," was her reply.

"So...You want a _lime_?" Peyton asked, making everyone sweatdrop.

Senna grinned. "I like you."

Peyton grinned. "Thanks. You're not so bad yourself."

Ichigo's sigh of relief was quite audible, and Renji snickered. Senna and Peyton looked at each other, then shrugged, totally clueless.

And quite frankly, everyone wanted to keep it that way.

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

Having Senna around made combat a lot easier. Not only could she see them, therefore she could shout out directions as well, but she also had a zanpakuto. Something Peyton was sorely lacking.

True, she had her own abilities, but she preferred not using them unless absolutely necessary. They were way too draining to be used in every fight she and her group might come across.

Byakuya was agitated about having to stop for so many potty breaks, and even MORE agitated about stopping to sleep again, but did so anyway for the good of the mission.

He wasn't so prideful to think he could fulfill his duty as squad leader and get the Miyamotos home safely when he was the only one awake and alert.

All the girls were sleeping in the same hut tonight, due to lack of abundancy, and all the guys in another.

And something told Peyton right away that she wasn't going to be getting much sleep. Chiyoko and Matsumoto were in the corner giggling about something, and soon, curiosity was way too overwhelming.

"What the hell are you two gabbing about?" She finally hissed, trying her best not to wake up Senna and Rukia.

Arisu perked up at this, wondering the same thing.

Chiyoko beamed and scooted a little closer on the wooden floor. "We were talking about why Ichigo-san carried you last night, all that way. Matsumoto-san was explaining it to me..."

Arisu scoffed. "_I_ could have explained _that_ to you, Chiyoko."

Peyton's eyebrows shot up. "Really now? What's your _explanation_, then?"

Arisu didn't smile, but her eyes crinkled up like Senna's had when she recognized Ichigo earlier today.

"You and Kurosaki-san are lovers."

* * *

Matsumoto literally fell over backwards with laughter at the expression on Peyton's face. "Uh...Something tells me that's _loads _better than whatever Matsumoto was telling your sister.."

Chiyoko bounded over to her before plopping right in her lap. Arisu strolled over to sit near her as well. Matsumoto was still laughing over in the corner.

"But I am right, yes? You are lovers."

"Well...That depends on your definition," Peyton replied with a nervous laugh.

Arisu blinked. "Well, _lovers_. What two people become right before or during engagement, which is quickly followed by marriage. What other definition is there?"

She turned bright red. "Many."

Arisu tilted her head with curiosity. "Such as?"

"Well, I mean, there's...Hmm. I don't think it's really definable. Because it comes from the word love. And _love _is undefinable. Love just is." Peyton nodded thoughtfully, then beamed. "Wow, that was pretty deep of me!"

Matsumoto's laughing died down a little. "Yeah, it was, I'm proud."

"Shut up!"

"How did you know?" Chiyoko asked, looking up at her.

"Know what?"

"That you loved Ichigo-san, of course," she replied impatiently.

Peyton stared up at the ceiling in thought. "Hmmm...I don't really know _when _I knew, exactly. I just _did_. Although, I DID write a list, but I think that was just to make saying it out loud a little easier."

Matsumoto rolled over until she was in front of Peyton, still on her stomach. She propped her head up with her hands, elbows on the floor.

Peyton sweatdropped; she looked just like Orihime did during that one sleepover where they annoyed the crap out of Tatsuki about the identity of her mysterious crush.

"Well then, how did you know you LIKED him?" Matsumoto asked. She looked at the Noble Sisters. "That's what humans feel romantically towards someone _first_. Personally, I think they make up the lighter emotion to avoid facing the truth," Matsumoto explained matter-of-factly.

Chiyoko and Arisu nodded slowly in wonder. Peyton rolled her eyes.

"Well, THAT I know. I think it was _way_ before he asked me out in Disney World. In fact...I'm about eighty percent sure it was when he woke up after that Bount dude nearly killed him. Y'know, the day I met you and Toshiro, and Urahara, all that good stuff."

She paused, fiddling with Chiyoko's hair unconsciously. "I know this is gonna sound really, really, _insanely_ cheesy...But I just kind of had this random thought that day. You know, when he was out of it, I didn't leave his side for two days straight until Rukia made me, ten minutes or so before he came to. And when Urahara told me he was awake, and I saw him...well, _awake_...I realized how close I had been to seeing him dead. And I was so happy. I just had a thought, you know...that I needed him there, here, with me...a lot more than I thought. A lot more than a friend needs another friend."

Everyone was staring at her as if she had just said the most romantic thing ever, so of course she had to change the atmosphere a little.

"But then _you guys_ showed up, and I got distracted. Plus, he was _still_ annoying," she added thoughtfully.

Matsumoto rolled her eyes and Chiyoko giggled, but Arisu looked hesitant. "May I ask how your father reacted? Knowing you were in love and not engaged to be married, as is custom?"

Peyton blinked. "...Well...He reacted _much_ better than he would've if we decided to up and get married. Personally, I think marriage is overrated. Besides...If you get married at _my_ age, the first thought anyone else has is that the girl's GOT to be pregnant."

Matsumoto snorted a laugh, and Arisu blushed. "Well, here, it is custom to be married around the age of seventeen. I am nineteen now, soon to be twenty, and _still_ not married. If I ever were to acquire a lover without marriage, my father would probably disown me..."

Peyton waved her off. "Nah, I don't think so. There's nothing more important to a dad than his kids. Especially daughters."

Chiyoko nodded. "_Besides_, Arisu! If your lover was anything like Ichigo-san, and cared about you that deeply, I do not think daddy would be as angry. As long as he knew you were safe."

Matsumoto asked the question that was now on everyone's mind. "So, Arisu, does that mean you ARE interested in someone?"

She blushed a pretty shade of pink; Peyton needed to ask her how the _hell_ she did that later. "Well, there IS a man who has caught my attention as of late-"

_**CRASH! THUD. THUD.**_

* * *

The girls sweatdropped quite a few times; Renji and Ichigo were currently sprawled out on the floor. Renji had faceplanted, and his butt was currently up in the air, while Ichigo had landed on his back and was just laying there.

Probably wishing he would somehow turn invisible.

Matsumoto was the first to speak. "...Ichigo, you might as well stop chanting that. Peyton's powers aren't gonna transfer to you any time soon. Your aura's gonna stay exactly the same."

Toshiro calmly slid through the window, which was now busted in beyond repair, and stepped over the two idiots.

"Evening."

"...Hi..." Peyton replied with another sweatdrop.

"What're _you guys_ doing here?"

Ichigo stood up, his temple and cast throbbing. "Turns out Byakuya's a heavy sleeper...when you crush sleeping pills into his jasmine tea. Toshiro and I just wanted OUT, but RENJI here decided it would be a bright idea to spy on you guys so he could talk to _Rukia_."

"About BATTLE FORMATIONS," he added defensively from his position on the floor.

"Does that floor smell good?" Peyton asked.

"SHUT UP!"

"YOU shut up, Senna and Rukia are lucky enough to be ASLEEP right now!" Matsumoto hissed.

_Wait...If they were outside...That means they could've EASILY heard every word...SHIT!_

Peyton cleared her throat anxiously. "Y'know, air sounds REAL good. I think I'm gonna go...restock on that...way out there," she said before heading for the door.

"Ichigo-san, you missed it! We were _just _talking about you!" Chiyoko chirped happily. "We know," Renji replied, snickering.

"OW! DAMMIT, STRAWBERRY, THAT _HURT_!"

"Renji, shut the hell up!"

"But _Matsumotoooo_, you SAW him kick me!"

"SHUT UP, I SAY!"

Peyton shook her head and went outside, hoping to escape the madness as long as possible.

* * *

Senna tried to stay as still as possible during all the shouting, but then something hit her rather hard. Good thing, too; she didn't know how much longer she could pretend to be asleep.

"OW, DAMMIT!" She shouted, rubbing her side. Senna sweatdropped as she threw Renji's sandal back at him.

"Sorry, Senna," he yelled to her while trying to fight Ichigo.

She rolled her eyes, then sucked in a breath. _Ichigo_.

_So. That Peyton girl really IS his girlfriend. I had a really bad feeling all day that that was the case, but the girls' conversation totally confirmed it._

_Damn. I had been so happy..._

Senna shook her head quickly. _Nope._ She wouldn't let this come between her and Peyton, and CERTAINLY not between her and Ichigo.

She kinda liked the chick. Unfortunately.

_Maybe if I keep telling myself it doesn't bother me, eventually it'll be true... _She wondered, resisting the urge to groan and shout "REALLY?" as Ichigo finally beat Renji and after a few moments went outside.

_Three guesses where HE'S going. _

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

No matter how dreary Soul Society was compared to what the Soul Reapers described it as, Peyton had to give the night sky some credit.

She had never seen so many stars and planets. Not in Tennessee, and CERTAINLY not in Karakura.

_I wonder what everyone else is doing..._

But after the possibilities seeped into her brain, she decided NOT to wonder what they were doing. It was too vivid...

"It was the fireworks."

She jumped so hard she whammed her left shin right into a log, and her temple throbbed as Ichigo started laughing.

"This better be good, making me spazz like that. What _about _fireworks?"

He shrugged. "When I knew I liked you. When we were watching the fireworks at that fair."

Peyton flushed. "Great. You DID hear that..."

"Every word, lover," he replied with a smirk.

"Yeah, well, this lover is pissed. You better hope I don't get a bruise, 'cause then I'll be so tempted to poke it, and I'll eventually poke it, and I'll be all 'OW, that hurts like hell!', and then I'll poke it some more, and it'll change colors, which I always kinda thought was a bit cool, but _that's _besides the point, the _point is _that _you _would be responsible for said bruise, and-"

"Nooo, the POINT is that you're rambling," he interrupted. "Badly."

She waved him off. "Tch. Why would I be rambling?"

"Because you love me. And you're tired, but that isn't as flattering towards me."

Peyton rolled her eyes. "Good to know you're so selfless."

"Hey, Peyton?"

"WHAT."

"You wanna know something really, really, _insanely _cheesy?"

Her temple throbbed. "You better not quote what I said about you waking up."

"Nope."

"Then go for it."

He hugged her from behind. "You're the first girl I _really _looked at."

And with that, he let her go and headed back towards the hut. Her jaw dropped. "You're leaving?"

"Yep."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"But...But.." She huffed and ran after him. "HEY! You can't hug someone like that, whisper in their ear, and then just LEAVE! What the hell's the matter with you, Kurosaki? Dammit, I'm tired, don't make me ruuuuuuuunnn!"


	53. Miyamoto Brother's Name REVEALED!

**Me: Welll, we're back.**

**Ichigo: This chap isn't very long, you know.**

**Me: Your point?"**

**Rukia: I think he's just pissed because it involves his public humiliation. AGAIN.**

**Me: Probably.**

**Ichigo: Screw you both!**

**Me: (rolls eyes) Well, anyways, thanks for all the reviews. We have officially got 201 reviews as of 1:47 AM, July 11th!**

**Ichigo: Well. THAT was a bunch of unnecessary info.**

**Me: Yeah, well, YOUR MOM.**

**Ichigo: (rolls eyes)**

**Me: Anyway. Vivian, Abby, PLEASE don't kill each other! I would miss your awesome reviews (beams) **

**Ichigo: A few injuries would be fine, though.**

**Me: ICHIGOOOO!**

**Rukia: Ugh, enjoy.**

_**

* * *

**_

_**THE ****NEXT DAY...**_

"Hmm...Tacos?"

"Noooo, that's not BREAKFAST food, Renji," Matsumoto replied brightly.

"Oooh, oooh, WAFFLES!" Peyton shouted.

"Rukia guessed that two minutes ago."

She drooped, and Ichigo smirked. "Cheese sticks."

Matsumoto bounced happily, making the Miyamoto brother turn bright red since he was right beside her and had a perfect view of...yeah.

"CORRECT, ICHIGO!"

Peyton's and Renji's right eyes twitched in annoyance. "...And cheese sticks ARE breakfast food?" They shrieked.

Matsumoto gave them a weird look. "Orihime and I have it every morning. Either cheese sticks with syrup, or bacon with Tabasco and Frosted Flakes."

"Tabasco on bacon?" Peyton asked, eyebrows raised.

"No, silly, on the Frosted Flakes too!"

Peyton sweatdropped and opened her mouth to say something, but Ichigo just shook his head. "Honestly, Peyton, you should know by now her and Orihime have the freakiest eating habits."

Senna shrugged. "Actually, that sounds kinda _good _to me."

Peyton shuddered. "That makes one of us."

"Alright, since no one got it, how about Arisu go next?" Matsumoto suggested. Arisu sighed. "I normally do not participate in such childish games, but...I shall make an exception just this once."

"Yay! Okay, go ahead."

"Okay. I am thinking...of someth-"

"Toshiro, right, Byakuya and Rukia, dead ahead," Senna and Peyton said dully in unison. The Miyamotos sweatdropped as everyone struck the ninjas with ease as if nothing major were happening.

"...Good to know they care so much about our fate," the brother commented.

"Think of it this way; we're so epic that we don't see them as much to worry about!" Peyton said brightly.

Chiyoko clapped her hands together happily. "Peyton-chan, Senna-san, you make me feel so safe!"

Ichigo sweatdropped. "But no thank-you to the Soul Reapers who do all the work."

Chiyoko grinned. "But Ichigo-san, if Senna-san and your lover weren't here, you and the other Soul Reapers would be _done _for!"

* * *

Senna sweatdropped as Peyton and Ichigo turned bright red. The others who had been present last night were trying not to laugh, and Byakuya looked back at them in interest.

"Did she just call Ms. Cullen your _lover_, Kurosaki?"

"...Noooooo," he and Peyton replied innocently. Chiyoko giggled. "Yes I did, sillies! Don't you remember? Last night we all talked about how Ichigo-san and Peyton-chan are lovers, and when they first knew they lo-"

Both teens spastically covered her mouth, laughing nervously at the perverted looks people were giving them.

"Ch-Chiyoko, that REALLY should just stay between us, as a secret," Peyton whispered so no one else would hear.

"A secret?"

"Yes, a secret."

Chiyoko winked secretively. "Okay, it's a secret." Ichigo and Peyton let out sighs of relief.

"So it's true then. Kurosaki-san and Cullen-san are lovers," the brother repeated.

"NO, BECAUSE THAT WOULD REVEAL THE _SECRET_!" Chiyoko shouted, making Peyton and Ichigo do a Spazzy Wet Noodle Dance.

"CHIYOKO, THE WHOLE POINT OF A SECRET IS TO _NOT TELL_!" They shrieked, and she laughed nervously.

"...Oh. Sorry, Peyton-chan!"

Byakuya simply chuckled. BYAKUYA. "I didn't know Kurosaki had it in him."

They both sweatdropped. "Dude, did Byakuya just _chuckle_?" Peyton asked no one in particular.

"WHAT'S _THAT_ SUPPOSED TO MEAN, KUCHIKI?" Ichigo shouted.

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

"Hey, Arisu. You never got to play," Peyton pointed out from Ichigo's back.

"Oh yeah, that's right!" Senna exclaimed. She had managed to talk the Miyamoto brother, of all people, into giving her a ride on his back.

Something about her Ninja-Sight Powers exhausting her. Peyton was just getting a ride for the hell of it.

Arisu sighed, rubbing her arm. They were getting closer to the cold portion of the Soul Society countryside, and had just recently started being able to see their breath.

"Ah, I guess you are correct. I am thinking...of an object. One I am sorely lacking and would love to have on my person at this moment in time."

"Oooh, oooh, I got this! An iPod!" Peyton guessed excitedly. Ichigo sweatdropped and jostled her a little. "They don't _have _iPods here, idiot."

She drooped. "Really? No WONDER it can be so depressing around here..."

Senna sweatdropped. "What's an iPod?"

Peyton pulled hers out of her back pocket and tossed it to Senna, who caught it with ease. But then she dropped it, and both girls sighed with relief as the Miyamoto brother caught it just before it hit the ground and handed it back to her.

"Thanks!"

"Don't mention it, Senna."

"I will, though."

"I know."

Matsumoto elbowed Rukia and jerked a thumb back to Senna and the brother as they continued going back and forth. "I didn't know they got along that well."

"They're just socializing, Matsumoto."

"Yeah, well, he doesn't socialize with any of _us_!"

Rukia nodded thoughtfully. "Hmm. That's very true."

Renji rolled his eyes. "Jeez, you two. If you wanna know if he digs her, just ask the guy!"

"RENJI, DO YOU KNOW _NOTHING _ABOUT ROMANCE?" They snapped.

"Tch. Obviously not, he hasn't confessed his love to Rukia yet, has he?" Peyton replied with a yawn, earning a high-five from Ichigo and Toshiro.

"_What _love? THERE _IS _NO LOVE, FOR THE LAST DAMN TIME!" Renji shouted, temple throbbing.

"Are you saying you HATE Rukia?" Byakuya asked ominously from the front. Not that he was ever NOT ominous-sounding, really.

Renji gulped. "U-Um, no sir. That's not it at all!"

"Well then, what IS it Renji?" Matsumoto asked innocently.

He glared at her. "No one asked YOU, Matsumoto!"

"C'mon, answer the question!" Peyton urged.

"You guys just LOVE to-"

"He's staaaaalll-iiiing," Senna teased in a sing-song tone.

"WILL YOU ALL GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE?" He shouted.

"Why? You wouldn't get off MY back before I asked PEYTON out," Ichigo replied matter-of-factly.

"That's different!"

"HOW?"

"Because it was painfully OBVIOUS you and Peyton needed to go out!"

Ichigo was about to shout something back, but Peyton just sighed. "Ichigo, it's useless. Let _him _figure it out, he will eventually."

"Hopefully BEFORE Rukia's married and has kids," Matsumoto replied, making Rukia's temple throb.

"Honestly, you guys!"

"I think you and Abarai-san would make _excellent _lovers for one another," Arisu stated matter-of-factly.

Renji pretended not to hear that, and Rukia just sighed and shook her head. "Byakuya, I believe everyone has started to get delirious from the heat."

"WHAT heat?" Everyone asked with sweatdrops. "Rukia, it is approximately 52 degrees Faranheit," Toshiro informed her.

Senna eyed him curiously. "How the hell did you know THAT?" He tapped a watch on his wrist. "My Christmas present from Isshin Kurosaki. It not only tells time, but temperature and date."

"It also has a green backlight," Ichigo added.

"Really?"

"Yep. Here, lemme show you." Ichigo walked over to Toshiro's side and started pressing not only the light button, but several others to show off some random functions.

After all that EXCITEMENT, Peyton craned her neck to look at him. "How the hell do you know how to work it and all?"

"Dad wouldn't stop showing it off ever since he got it last November," he replied dully, and Peyton sweatdropped. "I should've known."

About five minutes passed of the usual background noise. Byakuya and Rukia were deliberating whether or not to stop for the night, Renji was muttering darkly to himself, Matsumoto was STILL trying to figure out what made Toshiro so embarrassed yesterday, Peyton and Ichigo were having another random argument, Senna and the brother were listening to Peyton's iPod, and the other Miyamotos were just watching with sweatdrops.

Suddenly, Peyton stopped mid-comeback to look back at the brother. "Hey, dude, seriously. What the HELL is your name?"

"Mine?"

"YES, yours, you're the only one who hasn't mentioned your name!"

He shrugged. "Shiro."

Ichigo just started laughing, and Peyton gave him a weird look.

Senna pointed at Arisu suddenly. "HEY! It was a COAT you were thinking of, WASN'T it?"

Arisu sweatdropped. "...Yes, Senna. Clever deduction."


	54. Ambushes, Sharing, And Kuchiki's Heart

**Me: I'm happy to report that NOT ONLY is this a new chapp, but Abby and Vivian did NOT kill each other!**

**Ichigo: Much.**

**Rukia: ALTHOUGH, that medieval battle ax coming into play worries me...**

**Ichigo: (gasps) THAT'S where my medieval weapons went! Ohhhh, she's SO dead..**

**Me: (eye-twitch) Ichigo?**

**Ichigo: WHAT.**

**Me: No bodily harm towards our loyal readers and reviewers. (beams at audience as if no homicidal threat had been made) ENJOY!**

_**

* * *

**_

_**THAT ****NIGHT...**_

Peyton was right in the middle of a really odd dream, odder than usual, when she heard scratching. Her eyes blinked open, and she sat up from her pallet on the floor, looking around.

It was kinda weird to see how everyone slept. Matsumoto was sprawled out, cleavage threatening to fall right out of her Soul Reaper robe.

Rukia was curled up like a cat, and Peyton assumed that was how she was used to sleeping in Ichigo's closet.

Senna was sleeping underneath the window, and the moonlight was falling right on her face. Peyton made a mental note to ask her how she kept her hair so shiny.

Arisu was lying flat on her back, hands clasped together on the area between her chest and stomach. She reminded Peyton of Princess Fiona from Shrek. _Tch, lemme guess. There's only one noble way to sleep..._

The youngest Noble nearly scared the crap out of her, because Peyton had only just now realized Chiyoko had curled up right beside her.

"When the hell did _she _get over here...?" She wondered out loud, but her attention snapped over to the window, where she heard more scratching.

_I really hope that's Renji or one of the other dumbasses..._

But of course it wasn't. Not when she was actually EXPECTING them to pop up! Nope, instead, it was a group of four ninjas.

Peyton's eyes widened, and she blinked to make sure she was seeing them for real and she wasn't just hallucinating.

After establishing they WERE in fact sliding open the window, she hopped up and shook herself awake, debating whether or not to wake everyone up for something she could take care of herself.

Her question was answered when one ninja was clumsy enough to step on Senna's ass, making her yowl much like a cat and wake everyone up.

"What the HELL-" Senna shouted before grabbing her zanpakuto from its sheath, blocking three attacks just in time.

Peyton gestured for Arisu to join her and Chiyoko, and she nodded quickly before attempting to do so.

Unfortunately, five more ninjas dove through the already-open window, and Arisu shrieked in surprise.

Peyton sighed and shot out some "electricity" at two ninjas who had cornered her, and Arisu more-or-less ran and dove for her and Chiyoko.

Chiyoko, still groggy, patted her sister's back as even more slid through the windows. "It's okay, Arisu. It's just a dream, you know."

Peyton used mostly hand-to-hand for a few other ninjas who tried to grab the Nobles, and only had to use her spirit energy for one other ninja.

Soon, all eighteen ninjas lay dead or unconscious on the wood floor. All the Soul Reapers- well, _and _Peyton- were breathing heavily, and Arisu was trembling wide-eyed on the floor, huddled by her yawning little sister.

They heard another crash, and everyone tensed. Arisu actually screamed, hiding her face with her fingers.

But it was just the dudes. Everyone else sighed with relief, and Arisu peeked through her fingers before regally plopping them in her lap, but Peyton planted her hands on her hips.

"...Oh. NOW y'all show up. Typical!"

* * *

Toshiro glanced at all the incapacitated assassins before putting his zanpakuto back in its sheath. "We heard rather chaotic noises."

"Took you long enough," Rukia muttered with a yawn, scratching at her dissheveled hair groggily.

Matsumoto folded her arms underneath her chest. "I'm guessing this was supposed to be an ambush. We're lucky Senna got stepped on, or we might not've awakened in time."

Peyton grinned as Senna huffed. "Yes. So lucky. I'm gonna have SUCH a huge bruise on my ass come morning, but at least I get praised for it. Don't you DARE laugh, Shiro!" She added as the Noble-in-question started snickering.

Peyton and Matsumoto exchanged a grin, and Renji rolled his eyes. Toshiro bent down to look at a few ninjas in particular before grinning at Peyton. "Your handiwork. Urahara was right."

"About what?"

"Oh, nothing."

She huffed. "I _hate _it when people do that."

"If it helps, _Renji _was the reason we took so long," Ichigo offered. Everyone looked to Renji, whose temple throbbed.

"That's SO NOT TRUE, Strawberry, and you _know _it!"

"YEAH, it is! You just _refused _to wake up, and you MUST have been having a good dream, because all I heard _all _damn night so far was 'Rukiaaaa, Rukiaaaa!'"

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!"

"NO!"

Toshiro held up a finger. "I hate to choose sides, but Ichigo is right, Renji. I _also _heard you mentioning Rukia quite frequently."

Shiro nodded with a smirk, momentarily pausing his argument with Senna over her ass. "Dude, he's right. Face it!"

Peyton sweatdropped. "How come YOU know more modern terms, yet your sisters.."

"Around here, women are thought of as gentle, elegant beings. Modern isn't in their repertoire," Tetsuo explained.

Ichigo snickered. "Jeez, Peyton, you wouldn't last _five minutes _as a Noble!" She smacked his good arm, but then she noticed something out of the corner of her eye.

It was Byakuya. He was bent on one knee so he was at eye-level with Arisu, who was still trembling, but looked a lot calmer.

"Is he doing what I _think _he's doing?" Ichigo asked, making Peyton jump.

"Jeez, don't DO that! And if you think he's comforting her, then...I think you'd be right," she said in a tone that suggested amusement and wonder.

He laughed in disbelief. "Well, I'll be damned. Kuchiki has a heart."

* * *

Peyton laughed too, then groaned as she noticed something rather depressing. "Crap!"

"What?"

She drooped. "Those three ninjas are all bleeding on MY sleeping spot! Ughhhhh! NOT cool!" He rolled his eyes and held up his cast. "If it makes you feel any better, all this ninja-fighting we're doing on the road is making this thing itch even more than usual!"

"Oh, you poor thing. Especially since I just took on the same amount you have in three days, all in one night."

"Yeah, but YOU don't have a cast!"

"Yeah, but YOU have a place to sleep that's NOT stained with blood. I mean, what if they have AIDS?"

"They're SPIRITS, Peyton."

"So? Just because THEY can't die from it doesn't mean _I _can't!"

He sweatdropped. "You're obviously really tired. You make about as much sense as my dad when he's drunk. And you've SEEN how much stupider he is when he's drunk."

She stuck her tongue out at him, and he stuck his right back out at her. Soon, they were going back and forth, making faces like little kids, and Chiyoko started giggling and clapping her hands.

"Can I do it _too_, lovers?"

They both sweatdropped. "You REALLY don't have to call us that," Peyton told her.

She giggled. "I know! But Ichigo-san always gets a funny smile on his face when I say it. And you always blush so pretty, Peyton-chan!"

Matsumoto started laughing, and they both turned to glare at her.

"Hey, you KNOW...I think Matsumoto and Captain Hitsugaya would like to be called lovers, too," Peyton said sneakily as soon as the aforementioned Lieutenant was otherwise occupied.

Chiyoko brightened by epic proportions. "_Reeeeally_?"

Ichigo and Peyton exchanged a rather mischievious grin. "Oh, ABSOLUTELY!"

"See, they're secretly lovers, they just don't _know _it yet," Ichigo added. Chiyoko's eyes widened. "You mean that can HAPPEN?"

"Oh, totally. _Anything's _possible when it comes to _love_," Peyton informed her in a wise voice, and the kid nodded in absolute wonder.

"Okay! That makes so much _sense_, Peyton-chan! I have thought for a long while that Matsumoto-san and Captain Hitsugaya would make _excellent _lovers!"

The two "lovers" just nodded and waited until Chiyoko pranced off to talk to Shiro and Senna. Then they busted out laughing.

_**

* * *

**_

_**AN **__**HOUR **__**LATER**__**...**_

"Ichigo?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you still awake?"

"No."

"Oh. Well then, pretend to be awake for a second," she whispered, and he yawned before muttering, "Fiiiiine."

Everyone else was already asleep. It was pretty damn crowded now that they were cramped into the same hut, thanks to the floor being COVERED with assassins in the other one. So now all of them were forced to share. YAY.

Although, Peyton and Ichigo didn't mind too much.

"It's about Senna."

For once, he didn't tense up at the mention of her name. "...Okay, what?"

"Well...I'm not sure."

"Peyton, it's about three in the morning, why don't you try asking me when you can actually form _thoughts_?" He grumbled moodily before laying his head back on her shoulder. She continued to stare up at the ceiling, and huffed.

"NO, I wanna talk about it NOW. I want your opinion on something."

He pretended not to have heard her, which only resulted in her flicking his ear. "Ow, dammit! Fine, what?"

She rolled her eyes. "Honestly answer me, did you know Senna liked you this whole time?"

"Well...Yeah...Why, are you _jealous_?" He asked with a hint of laughter in his voice.

She wasn't, but she decided to humor him. "Well, what if I am?"

"I'd say you were crazy."

"And why would you say THAT? I mean, c'mon, she's pretty hot. She could have you in a _heartbeat_."

"Because, moron, YOU have me already. Getting me is more-or-less impossible at this point in time, for anybody. Including Senna."

Peyton grinned. "I should talk to you in the middle of the night a lot more often. You're a lot sweeter."

"Hence why I'm usually _asleep _at this hour."

"Well, anyways, I'm _not _jealous. But thanks for the entertainment. What _I _wanna know is...I don't want to make things hard for her. I happen to LIKE my potential competition. So I was wondering if maybe we should tone things down between us when she's around."

"Really now?"

"Yeah. BUT...I think she's starting to get over you, little by little. So I want to know what YOU think about the whole thing."

He pretended to be in deep thought, now playing with her hair. "Hmmm...It's MY professional opinion...That you should go to sleep."

Peyton's temple throbbed. "YOU'RE a load of help."

He chuckled and plopped his head to rest on her collarbone. "If Senna has a problem with it, I think we'll be able to tell. Until then..."

He propped himself up on his elbow and kissed her a few times before returning to his original position. "Later, lover."

She rolled her eyes, grinning. "Later."

They were dead asleep in under two minutes.


	55. An Elaborate, DirtyTalking Scheme

**Me: Weeeelllll, Ichigo is currently hunting down Abby (as in Vivian's sister, of course) because, and i quote, 'I smell a fucking CHALLENGE!'**

**Rukia: (sighs and shakes head) Needless to say, Ichigo's a dumbass.**

**Me: I wonder if he realizes it's not HIS medieval weapon? I'm pretty sure his battle axe was buried in Disney World...**

**Rukia: Should we...y'know, TELL him that..?**

**Together: (waves off) NAH!**

**Me: Oh, and by the way, i forgot to mention this. If i never answered a message one of y'all sent me through PMs, it's because my account decided to suddenly have a huge drop in brain-cell-counts. In other words, it keeps disabling my PMs in the morning (RIGHT after i fall asleep, it seems) and i try to enable them as quickly as possible, but sometimes the messages don't go through! I know, it sucks. So if you've sent me a message recently, or EVER really, try re-sending it and i'll probably reply pretty quickly. Y'know, since i have no life and all that. **

**Rukia: But ANYWAYS, enjoy! :)**

* * *

The next morning, Peyton was the last to wake up from what she could first gather. Shocking, right? She was greeted by a wonderful sight.

Matsumoto and Rukia were talking in the corner in their giddy whispers.

Byakuya was fuming, looking out the front door.

Senna was having another playful argument with Shiro, who simply asked if he could see the battle bruise on her ass to see if it really existed.

Toshiro was talking with Tetsuo, who was "flustered by the behavior of the Soul Reapers from the Modern World".

And Ichigo and Renji had matching black eyes, one per Soul Reaper, on opposite eyes.

Arisu was sitting next to Chiyoko, who was still asleep. _Cool, so I WASN'T the last one to wake up!_

Peyton's eyebrows shot up at the sight of the two morons. "So. Who did you piss off _this _time, guys?"

Ichigo scowled in Byakuya's general direction. "Ask an honest question for Trimmed Pineapple Head, and you get an unwanted eye accessory."

She sweatdropped. "Damn, what the hell kind of question WAS it that could've caused BYAKUYA KUCHIKI to lose self-control?"

The two exchanged a slight smirk. "Renji and I were just curious about his random act of non-douche-baggery towards Arisu last night."

"It still just completely blows my mind, _and _disturbs me a little, that he actually CARES about that kind of stuff. Or anything besides his Captaincy, really," Renji added.

"You mean besides his hair?"

"Very true," they both agreed. Renji smirked. "Jeez, Ichigo, I pegged anyone dumb enough to date you as anything BUT smart or observant..."

"I know, right!"

Peyton's temple throbbed as the two high-fived. "...Karma's gonna get you for that one."

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****HOURS LATER...**_

Ichigo rolled his eyes as Renji got all defensive. Again. "Could you guys PLEASE stop riding me about damn Rukia?" He hissed at Toshiro.

"Look, we _all _know you want her. Especially after sharing a room with you. Might as well just TELL the damn Midget," Ichigo replied between bites of his orange.

Toshiro nodded. "It's _almost _more obvious than Ichigo and Peyton's non-platonic relationship was, and THAT was ridiculous enough."

Renji just sighed and shook his head. "Y'know, it's easy for YOU TWO to talk about this crap. Toshiro, you're a Captain. You could have any chick you wanted. And Ichigo, you've already bagged the one _you _wanted! What about me? I have a 'trimmed pineapple head', for crying out loud! ...Not that this is about Rukia," he added quickly.

They ignored that little extra sentence. "So? Toshiro's hard-assed and I'm annoying as hell. Oh, wait, scratch that. YOU'RE annoying as hell, too. But so is Rukia, so it all balances out!" Ichigo pointed out matter-of-factly.

"This ISN'T about RUKIA!" He insisted.

Toshiro shook his head slowly. "Why DO people fight emotions like these?"

"The same reason you do for Masumoto," Renji and Ichigo shot back in unison; they snickered and high-fived each other.

Toshiro's temple throbbed. "Very well. I had some advice, but now I shall keep you in the dark about them."

"Tch. That's fine, I've got even better advice than whatever _you _have," Ichigo replied.

Renji shook his head quickly. "No way, I want Toshiro's!"

Ichigo's temple throbbed. "Dumbass, you said it yourself. I've already _bagged _the chick I want! What makes you think _I _have worse advice?"

"Be-CAUSE, Peyton totally wanted you from day damn one. It wasn't exactly a challenge, not even for you, 'King Stud'" Renji replied in a "duh" tone.

"Oh, yeah right! That's just what the geeks and players call me!"

"I beg to differ, Renji. That seems a bit far-fetched, it was _definitely _a challenge," Toshiro agreed.

"Well, I wanna hear _yours _anyways, Toshiro."

Ichigo peeled some more of his orange and ate it defiantly. "Fine, I see how it is."

Toshiro cleared his throat importantly. "Well...This is a tip Shunsui gave me."

"Then it HAS to work!" Renji said excitedly.

"Precisely. His _exact _words were: 'You wanna know if a woman digs you? Whisper somethin' dirty in her ear. If she doesn't slap you in the face, she's interested.' I, for one, have tried it a few times to test its effect, and I must say, it works like a charm."

Renji gaped at him. "THAT...is by far...THE most genius thing I've ever heard in my life!"

Ichigo sweatdropped, and Toshiro smirked. "I think I know exactly how to test this, too. Ichigo, why don't _you _demonstrate?"

"W-WHAT?" He sputtered, nearly choking on his orange. He didn't know what was more sad, Renji and Toshiro banging the shit out of his back like morons or the fact that no one else even thought twice about it.

Only Chiyoko, but Peyton just shook her head and told her he was 'a natural spazz, and PROBABLY won't die'.

Oh yeah, she loved him so much.

Ichigo's temple throbbed, and he glared at Toshiro. "If this backfires, I _demand _payment."

"Fine. It's fool-proof," Toshiro replied confidently.

He let out one final heavy sigh before lingering back to wait for Peyton, who was playing an intense round of Thumb-War with Shiro.

They caught up with Ichigo right as Peyton totally beat Shiro's thumb's ASS, however nonexistent that ass might be, and Ichigo let out a sigh of relief.

At least she was now in a good mood.

"Hey, Peyton."

"Yo."

"Come here."

* * *

She glanced at Senna and Shiro, who were now battling each other in Thumb-War, then decided she had nothing to lose and moved to his side.

"What's up?"

He bent his head down a little to whisper in her ear. "Okay, just like I told you earlier. That 'experiment' me and Toshiro mentioned. Right now I am currently saying something dirty to you, so react on the count of three."

"Okay. Wait, I forgot...React _positively _or _negatively_?"

"Positively."

"Only if you promise to pay me back for it later."

"Deal."

"Okay!"

"One...Two...THREE."

She whirled her head around to look at him and let out a flirtatious giggle. Quite well, in her opinion. She gave him a quick eye-inspection while biting her lower lip suggestively before smirking and walking a little ways ahead.

Ichigo looked to Renji, whose jaw was currently on the ground, and bit into his orange with a very triumphant smirk.

Toshiro chuckled, but then Byakuya called out from way up ahead. "Keep it moving, Lieutenant Abarai. I would like to keep to the schedule."

"We have a schedule?" Everyone asked, making Byakuya sigh. "...Just keep it moving."

Peyton leaned towards Ichigo as Renji and Toshiro started talking. "You think he bought it?"

"Yep. Kinda hard not to, that fucking gave me chills."

"Why thank you!"

"You SUCK. I'm gonna have so many perverted dreams about this."

"You'll live. So who did he want to tell him this 'advice'?"

"Toshiro. Unbelievable, right?"

"Do you want me to honestly answer that?"

"NO."

"Didn't think so!" She said brightly as Renji ran to catch up to Rukia, who was between Matsumoto and Arisu.

They watched with expectant grins as he whispered in Rukia's ear, and sure enough, all hell broke loose.

* * *

"_EXCUSE _ME?" Rukia screeched.

Renji laughed nervously as a rather deadly aura surrounded the small Soul Reaper. "Uhhh, Rukia, it wasn't what it sounded like!"

"Really, now? Because it sure as hell sounded a LOT like 'Rukia, the next time we're alone, I'm-'"

"NO NEED TO _REPEAT _IT!"

"THEN WHY'D YOU _SAY _IT?" She shot back, fists clenched. She was advancing towards him rather menacingly.

Everyone had stopped to watch, and even _Byakuya _looked a bit disturbed at the scene plying out before him.

"Rukia, I...see...we...IT WAS ALL ICHIGO'S IDEA!" He wailed, leaping back to get some distance between them.

Ichigo's temple throbbed. "DON'T YOU DRAG _ME _INTO THIS, YOU DAMN TRIMMED PINEAPPLE HEADED PERVERT!"

"SHUT UP ABOUT THAT DAMN DEMON DOG'S MISHAP! And I am NOT a fucking PERVERT!"

"REEEENJIIIII, YOU'RE FUCKING _DEAD_!" Rukia shouted, letting out a battle cry before charging at him.

Everyone watched with wide eyes and "Oooh"s at every blow for about three minutes before Rukia finally calmed down.

She simply squared her shoulders and marched forward. Everyone soon recovered and followed suit as quickly as possible.

Poor Renji was sprawled out on the ground, face down, groaning.

"..Well...She didn't slap you. OR kill you, so I think that means she's into you," Peyton pointed out cheerfully.

* * *

"You told her about Shunsui's advice?" Renji asked Ichigo, rolling over to look at them. Toshiro shook his head with a mischievious grin as he helped the poor Soul Reaper up.

"No, sorry Renji. It was all an elaborate scheme us three cooked up earlier."

"WHAT? WHY the HELL would you DO something like that?" He shouted in surprise.

They all shrugged. "To test the relationship between you both," was Toshiro's excuse.

Ichigo smirked. "For the hell of it."

Peyton grinned. "Revenge for this morning. I _told _you karma was gonna get you back for that one!"

"B-But Ichigo agreed with me! Where's HIS punishment?"

"He bribed me with a promise of a mystery reward once this whole thing's over," She replied with a shrug.

Renji made a weird little noise of disbelief, then sighed. "...You are a trio of EVIL little fuckers, you know that?"

Toshiro followed him as he tried to catch up with Rukia and make sure his life wasn't in any immediate danger at her hands.

Ichigo sweatdropped as Peyton stole a couple slices of his orange, then laughed and ruffled her hair. "Dammit. I love you, and it's all your fault, you know that?"

She shrugged. "I think I can live with the guilt of knowing that."

"Can you, Peyton? CAN YOU?"

"Yeah, I can."

"You sure?"

"Pretty damn."

"Awesome."

She shrugged and continued walking. "I know I am. Tell me something we don't know."

He was about to reply when they heard two very loud voices that sounded a LOT like Toshiro and Matsumoto.

"...L-LOVERS?"


	56. Can't Live With Or Without 'Em

**Me: (looks around nervously) Well...Ichigo's whereabouts are currently unknown...but Abby and her mace from 'Medieval-Weapons-R-Us' kinda worries me... (turns cheerful) My money's still on Ichigo!**

**Rukia: (eye-twitch) Wow...You are SUCH a good friend to him, Mandy.**

**Me: (shrugs and takes a bite of the cake clearly marked "Ichigo's. Those who eat this will DROP FUCKING DEAD!") I care in my own little way! **

**Rukia: (shakes head) ...If you say so. Enjoy!**

* * *

Ichigo and Peyton exchanged an "Oh Crap, We're SO Dead But This is SO Fricking Funny" look as the two Soul Reapers started getting all spazzy.

"Lieutenant Matsumoto and I are in _no _such relationship!" Toshiro practically shouted.

Matsumoto nodded quickly. "Yes, yes, what Captain Hitsugaya said! Chiyoko, where did you get an idea like _that_?"

"The same way everyone else did," Renji replied, snickering. Rukia and Matsumoto smacked him upside the head. "Ow, dammit, it was a JOKE! Jeez, PMS-ing women..."

Ichigo pointed at the female Soul Reapers enthusiastically. "So you guys DO have periods! I knew it, I knew it, I fricking KNEW IT! Karin owes me fifty bucks now!"

Peyton's eyebrows shot up. "Karin knows about Soul Reapers?"

Ichigo shrugged. "Sure, but that doesn't mean she _believes _in them."

"Yet she bet AGAINST their ability to PMS?"

"You act like _I _know what the hell goes on in my little sister's head!" He said impatiently. Peyton rolled her eyes, but then they both gulped.

Toshiro and Matsumoto were staring daggers at them. It wasn't very pleasant.

...Neither was being chased for three miles while dodging attacks from their zanpakutos. Though everyone _else _laughed their asses off about it.

Finally, Toshio abruptly slowed to a leisurely walk, totally calm. "...I believe we have left the rest of the group behind, Lieutenant."

Matsumoto reluctantly slipped out of PMS-Rage-Mode and pouted. "Are you sure we should let them live, Captain?"

He sweatdropped at her alarmingly-strong thirst for vengeance. He then pointed to Ichigo and Peyton, who were currently perched in a tree further up the hill, trying to catch their breath.

"I swear, I came THIS CLOSE to passing out," they heard Peyton say between pants.

"From fear or exhaustion?" Ichigo asked.

"...Both. But don't tell THEM that!"

"And risk it slipping out that I nearly pissed myself when Matsumoto started howling like a psychopath? Don't worry, I'm not taking any chances!"

"...I think they've had enough," Toshiro commented with another sweatdrop, and Matsumoto reluctantly followed him down the hill.

"...Very well, then. The _nerve _of some humans, huh Captain?"

"Indeed! They must be out of their damn MINDS, to think _we _would ever be lovers!"

"I know! I could do SO much better," she replied brightly, making his temple throb.

"Well, so could I," he shot back smugly, making HER temple throb.

"Oh _really_?"

"REALLY."

"I highly doubt that."

"And your reasoning would be...?"

"That there's no better out there," Matsumoto replied as if it were obvious.

"THAT is a completely biased opinion, and HIGHLY debatable. In other words, as the humans say...'Whatever'."

She turned her nose up defiantly and stomped ahead. "NOW who's being unprofessional, TOSHIRO?"

* * *

He ran to catch up before narrowing his eyes. "That is Captain Hitsugaya, LIEUTENANT."

"That's Matsumoto to YOU, TOSHIRO."

"LIEUTENANT."

"TOSHIRO."

"LIEUTENANT."

"TOSHIRO!"

"LIEUTENANT!"

"TOSHIRO!"

"LIEUTENANT!"

"TOSHIRO TOSHIRO TOSHIRO TOSHIRO TOSHIRO TOSHIRO TOSHIRO!"

"LIEUTENANT LIEUTENANT LIEUTENANT LIEUTENANT LIEUTENANT LIEUTENANT LIEUTEEEEENAAANT!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Peyton and Ichigo shouted.

"DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE!" Matsumoto screeched at the same time Toshiro shouted "THIS IS A PRIVATE MATTER!"

They heard yelling, then a very loud _**THUD**_.

"Holy crap, Ichigo!"

Ichigo groaned. "...Peyton...I think I deserve some attention now.."

Peyton was laughing her ass off, but they heard her saying "Damn, you just flipped right off! Hold on, lemme get the bird nest off, THEN the branches..."

Matsumoto huffed and pointed to the hill, which Ichigo and Peyton were currently on the other side of.

"See? THAT'S why I could do better. They take care of each other. In MORE than a Captain-and-Lieutenant sort of way," she added as he opened his mouth to say something along those lines.

He pressed his mouth into a line. "Then I guess it is a good thing you can do better, if that's what you really think."

She made a similar expression and stomped off. "I guess it is."

"...Well, you sure do SUCK at this kind of thing," Ichigo commented from behind him as Matsumoto turned into a tiny dot in the distance, with two other dots protruding from her chest, as usual.

* * *

Toshiro's temple throbbed. "It's called _stress _and _pressure_. Happens a lot between a Captain and their Lieutenant. Nothing more, and CERTAINLY nothing romantically induced."

Ichigo snorted a laugh. "If that's what you wanna keep telling yourself."

Peyton elbowed him in the ribs.

"Ouch, dammit!" He whined.

"Will you leave the guy alone? Or shall I share your dirty little secret about a certain bladder issue that was narrowly evaded just then?"

"DON'T YOU DARE!"

Peyton smirked smugly, and Ichigo finally sighed. "...You SUCK." She kissed his cheek. "I know."

And with that, they walked off talking about Pop-Tarts. Toshiro sweatdropped and hesitantly followed suit as Ichigo wrapped an arm around her waist.

_I can't help but wonder how it can be so easy for them..._

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

Toshiro and Matsumoto had acted like nothing had happened, so Peyton was pretty much expecting it when the latter Soul Reaper flipped over to look at her later that night.

"Can I ask ya something?"

"Sure."

"Why do they make things difficult?"

Peyton blinked innocently. "Who?"

Matsumoto sighed and rolled her eyes. "You know. Men. They second-guess everything, know nothing, and act on as few good impulses as possible. And _oh_, when you bring up the very MENTION of a relationship with anyone, they freak out! But no, they insist they don't care at _all_. Yet they make you feel almost like if you ignored them and took flirting to a whole new level with some other guy, you're...CHEATING on them or something!" She ranted in an angry whisper, trying not to wake everyone else up.

Peyton propped up her elbow and rested the side of her face on her hand. "Simple. Can't live with us, can't live without us. It's the same reason _we _put up with _their _crap."

"Well, it SUCKS. And when an innocent little kid calls you lovers, the guy's first instinct is to grow cold all over again. DAMMIT!"

She huffed a few times, then held up a finger. "...But this is NOT about my Captain."

"Of course not, no connection there at all," Peyton agreed with a quick nod.

_Is this what I was like before Ichigo asked me out? _She wondered with a sweatdrop.

Matsumoto huffed again and laid flat on her back, staring at the ceiling. "Men. They're the REAL reason the Shinigami Women's Association suggested getting some sort of safety for our zanpakutos. You know, like the kind on the Human World's guns? The risk of murdering them is just too high nowadays..."

Peyton sweatdropped and laughed nervously. "Umm...I think _this _is the part where I remind you to think before you act, and then I turn over and go back to sleep."

Matsumoto smiled cheerfully. "Is THAT how these things go? Sounds sensible."

"Night, Matsumoto."

"Goodnight Peyton!"

"Good night Peyton-chan and Matsumoto-san!" Chiyoko called out immediately after, making the two jump.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE _YOU_ STILL DOING AWAKE?"


	57. She Can WHAT?

**Me: I'm pretty sure this chapp gave me juvenile arthritus.**

**Rukia: (rolls eyes) Oh, what EVER. **

**Me: I hope y'all are enjoying the cake i gave you! Not to name names, because i don't want ANOTHER mob in front of my house demanding equal distribution of cake. AN AUTHOR'S GOTTA EAT TOO, DAMMIT!**

**Ruki: (sweatdrops) ...Enjoy.**

* * *

The next day was, according to Byakuya, the last day of their mission. So Chiyoko was rather clingy.

In fact, Peyton spent the first half of the day carrying her around, having Rock-Paper-Scissors Tournaments, and helping her work the iPod.

Finally, Chiyoko decided to go give Matsumoto some attention (who was in a much better mood today, by the way).

As soon as she was far enough away, Peyton let out a sigh of relief, and Renji rolled his eyes. "You're WAY too nice to kids, you know that?"

"Hmm?"

"Why not just say 'Look, kid, I gotta fricking have room to _breathe _for a minute!'?"

"Firstly, that's mean. Secondly, it's not like a kid would LISTEN. They'd think it was a game."

"Well, then, pretend to kill them and give them Soul Burial. Game over."

Peyton sweatdropped. "See, THIS is why Ichigo said you should never reproduce."

Renji huffed moodily. "What makes YOU the kid expert?"

"Because she might as well BE one still," Rukia replied. Peyton nodded brightly. "She's so right!"

Renji nodded as well. "Well, I can't argue with THAT ONE..."

He and Rukia soon got onto the subject of juice boxes somehow, and Peyton was just considering asking Ichigo for a ride when she heard a rather loud "PSSST!"

She turned around with a sweatdrop to look at Senna. "Hey, got a minute?" She asked, waving spastically to get her attention as if Peyton wasn't already looking RIGHT at her.

"Umm..sure."

She walked towards Senna, who then proceeded to drag her until they were a good three yards behind Tetsuo and Arisu, who were talking in quick, quiet voices.

For a split second, Peyton wondered what was so serious that they could be discussing, but then Senna abruptly stopped, snapping her back to the issue at hand.

"Yeah? What's up?"

"I have a bit of a problem..."

* * *

"...Okay..."

"I think I'm getting the hots for a guy that I can't get them for, while still holding on to another one, and it's driving me INSANE!" She wailed.

Peyton cocked her head. "Who, Ichigo?"

"Well, yes and no...See, I've always sort of cared for Ichigo that way. ALWAYS. But now..."

She nodded, putting two and two together. "You're caught in the middle between him and Shiro."

Senna's breath came out in a whoosh. "Yes!"

"And so now you have to choose."

"Yes."

"And you don't wanna choose. On one hand, you've got Ichigo, who has a girlfriend."

"Which is you, who I happen to like quite a bit."

Peyton sweatdropped. "Well...Yeah, I kind of figured I was his girlfriend. But...Wait...Why is _Shiro _unattainable?"

Senna laughed. "Are you kidding? He's a NOBLE."

"So?"

"I'm from a village even poorer than the Rukongai! And he's a Noble. It just doesn't work here." Senna sighed, her amber eyes turning down a little at the corners.

"It's so cliché..."

Peyton grinned. "Exactly. Usually, the girl in love with the rich guy somehow finds out she's in fact royalty. OR she waits on a fairy godmother to help her out. Soooo, why don't you tell cliché fairytales 'Kiss my shinigami ASS!' and make the first move?"

Senna's usual mischievous grin returned. "...Hmm..That IS more my style!"

"Exactly!"

"But what if he doesn't feel the same?"

Peyton waved her off. "Bah, that's what an amateur worries about! You are a damn PRO, my friend. Besides, anyone with eyes can see the feelings are mutual. ...Well, except...I'm pretty confident that Shiro doesn't have many feelings for Ichigo..."

Senna chuckled at that, then clapped Peyton on the back. "You know what? You really are something else, even for human standards."

She smiled. "Just here to help."

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****HOURS LATER...**_

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Okay. ...How about now?"

"NO, Ms. Cullen."

"...And now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"Okay, NOW FOR SURE."

"Sorry, but no."

Rukia sighed and rolled her eyes as Peyton opened her mouth to continue. "Peyton, my brother has an unnatural tolerance for questions like these. He's not giving up any time soon."

"It's called patience," Ichigo added. "Ever heard of it?"

"No, and I'm surprised YOU of all people have," Peyton shot back.

"That's because I'm wise beyond my years."

"Oh, then you must be still in the infant stages. I TOLD YOU he had the maturity level of a five year old!" Matsumoto informed Toshiro, who smirked as Ichigo's temple throbbed.

He looked to Peyton, who just nodded proudly. "Yep, and I'm SIX!"

He sweatdropped. "Thanks for sticking up for me..."

"It's what I'm here for!"

"You're doing a great fricking job."

"I know. Hey, Captain Kuchiki, are we there yet?"

"No," he replied from a few feet ahead.

"Oh. And now?"

"No."

Ichigo groaned. "Oh, give it a _rest _already!"

"No way, it's too much fun!"

"How the hell is that FUN to you?"

"Because it's pissing you OFF," she replied, her smirk deepening as Ichigo's temple throbbed.

"Are we there yet, Byakuya?"

"No."

"And now?"

"No."

"Okay...NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!"

"...No."

"Damn, I thought for sure I would be right that time. Okay, HOW ABOUT now?"

"No."

Ichigo finally just put a hand over her mouth. "Please, Byakuya, for the sake of all those in a five-mile radius...NEVER answer her questions ever again. EVER."

* * *

"Kurosaki, I outrank you both in social class, shinigami ranking class, and just plain _class_. I would apppreciate it if you wouldn't attempt to give me orders."

"He _said_ please," Chiyoko pointed out from beside Matsumoto matter-of-factly.

Rukia stifled a laugh as Byakuya sighed as quietly as possible. "...Yes, I am aware he said _please_. That does not change the fact that it was a command."

"But if it were a COMMAND, he wouldn't have said PLEASE," Chiyoko insisted.

"She phwas a foint," Peyton added, muffled by Ichigo's hand.

"What?"

"I THAID-"

"What was that?"

"Feez, twat's da mavver wiff yoo!"

"I'm sorry, I speak English, Japanese and a little Spanish. I have no idea how to speak RUH-TARD, Peyton."

"FAMMIT, HICHIGO, GET YOUR VAND OTT OV MY MOOF!" Peyton yelled, making him laugh and remove his hand.

"I SAID...She has a point," she concluded importantly before glaring at Ichigo. He just ruffled her hair. "Didn't want you to get hoarse asking Byakuya if we were there yet over and over."

"Oh, well aren't _you _kind."

"I know. I think I was born with it."

She rolled her eyes. "Debatable."

"Yep. Some would disagree and say I was LESS KIND in their eyes, but you and I know better, hmm?"

"If you were so kind, you'd give me a ride."

"Hop on."

"You really ARE kind when you wanna be!" She exclaimed happily as she jumped on as if it were daily routine.

Which, by this point, it was getting to BECOME daily routine.

"They're the funniest lovers I have ever seen!" She heard Chiyoko whisper to Matsumoto, who just chuckled.

"That's because they're the stupidest."

"HEARD THAT," They both snapped, making Chiyoko giggle.

_**

* * *

**_

_**LATER ****THAT NIGHT...**_

"Well, we have finally arrived, right on schedule. The safer safehouse," Byakuya announced. Several yawns were heard, along with the distinct sound of Ichigo narrowly escaping a punch from an unconscious Peyton as he attempted to wake her up.

"Crap, your aim's gotten better!"

"Hmm? What happened?"

"We're here."

She immediately snapped out of groggy mode. "Yay!"

Matsumoto didn't even bother waking Chiyoko up, but handed her over to Senna, who had been empty-handed during most of the trip.

"Your turn with the deadweight."

Tetsuo chuckled and bowed his head as a sign of thanks for their help; both Soul Reapers returned the gesture.

"Captain Kuchiki, I cannot thank you enough for your services. And for bringing with you such a magnificent squad."

Byakuya was about to give his modest reply when they heard shuffling and the door to the safer safehouse open from the inside.

Out poked a head, on which was beautiful features and wavy brown hair. She grinned at them all. "Ah, you have finally arrived. We've been waiting for my father's and siblings' safe return."

Tetsuo immediately rushed to greet her. "You and your mother? You're here, you really are!"

Byakuya's brows furrowed. "I thought the other family members were to be placed in a different safehouse."

Peyton and Renji looked at each other. "Does anyone else have a red flag popping up in their head?" She whispered.

Senna inched closer towards Arisu and Shiro protectively, nodding. "I feel it too. Something isn't right."

The woman waved Byakuya's question off with a laugh. "I missed my father. Is that so awful?"

"No, but endangering the well being of your Noble House _is_," Rukia replied.

The woman's eyes narrowed just a bit as she hugged her father, and the knot in Peyton's stomach grew a little.

Those eyes weren't narrowing JUST towards Rukia. Watching tons of episodes of Lie To Me back-to-back had finally paid off!

"Oh, forgive me. This is my daughter, Yashuu Miyamoto."

She nodded at the others; Arisu moved to greet her sister, but Senna shook her head. "No, wait. Something just does NOT seem right about this..."

Peyton realized why something felt so off. She touched Ichigo's arm. "Listen."

"...I don't hear anything..."

She nodded. "Exactly. No bugs, no animals, no wind...nothing."

Byakuya eyed the partially-closed door suspiciously. "Miyamoto-san, where exactly _is_ your mother?"

She waved him off with a laugh. "Why, Captain Kuchiki! Inside, of course. You are more than welcome to take a look. Stay the night, even. I am positive you and your squad are weary."

Tetsuo pulled away from his daughter to open the sliding door, and walked in. "It is quite _dark_ in here, Yashuu..."

"IDIOT, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!" Ichigo shouted, running for the entrance.

* * *

Peyton felt static in the air; it was about to storm.

The Soul Reapers now had their zanpakutos drawn, tensed up and ready for battle. It was quite obvious SOMETHING was wrong...

Sure enough, they heard Tetsuo shout, and clashing of blades. Hoping it was an enemy Ichigo could see, Peyton ran in anyway and strained to see in the dim light.

He was currently fighting one floating blood stain of a ninja, but couldn't see the ninja approaching his right. She took that one out for him, and Tetsuo was in the corner, kneeling beside something.

"Get him outta here!" Ichigo told her, finishing off the other ninja. Peyton nodded and approached him before sucking in a breath.

He was kneeling beside a body. It must've been his wife, because he kept saying "Dearest Yae" between sobs.

She gently grabbed his arm and dragged him to his feet. "C'mon, sir. You're of no use to her dead, she needs you to keep going right now, alright?"

"No...Not my Yae..." He muttered in reply. She sighed and pulled him out. Ichigo wasn't far behind, and when they got outside, they were greeted with an interesting sight.

Yashuu was branch-hopping and occasionally flash-stepping towards a wooded area, the Soul Reapers hot on her trail. All save for Senna, who was doing her best to fend off assassins.

Tetsuo collapsed as soon as they were outside, a sobbing mess. "Yae...Why, Yashuu, why your mother? WHY?"

Ichigo glanced in the direction of the wooded area, and Peyton gave him a little shove. "Go."

"But-"

"GO."

He hesitated, then nodded. "You be careful."

"YOU be careful," she replied. He squeezed her arm before running after the others. Peyton sighed and looked down at Tetsuo.

"Sir, no offense, but this isn't a good time to blubber. Your children are in danger now, too. I suggest you come with me and get close to them, before they lose their dad, too."

* * *

She and Senna were soon on opposite sides of the remaining Miyamotos, who were either sobbing, asleep, or shocked into wide-eyed silence.

Peyton was being careful to use her ability as little as possible, relying mostly on the martial arts Urahara and 3rd grade karate had taught her.

She had a feeling something bigger was coming.

But for now, there were at least forty ninjas around them. One move after another, she helped take them out, saving Senna's ass on more than one occasion and having her own saved a few times as well.

Finally, only two remained. Senna took him/her out, but not before getting yet another wound. This one was down her leg, and was losing blood quickly.

Peyton took care of the other one, whose blade was inches away from Shiro's head, then saw Senna's shoulders slump a little more out of the corner of her eye.

"You're losing too much blood," Peyton informed her as she ripped off a few strips of her jeans and tied them tightly around the ones losing the most blood.

"Thanks, Captain Obvious," Senna replied between pants.

"No problem. I never thought the health class I'm taking for more credits could ACTUALLY pay off any time soon..."

"Credits? What are those?"

"A sick little game invented by those in charge of education. Consider yourself lucky you don't know about them," Peyton replied with a temple throb.

Senna smiled a little at that, but they felt reiatsu swiftly approaching. They turned in that direction to see a man that looked rather important approaching.

"Very interesting. Well done, Soul Reapers."

Senna was about to reply there was only one, but Peyton nudged her with her foot as a sign to let it go.

Peyton's old habit kicked in; the one that made her say stupid things under pressure. "You know...You look like a samurai and ninja mashed together. Ran over by Green Day."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, you know...With that armour on your arms and legs, and all the black...But with the colors and style, I could SO see you playing drums for 'American Idiot' or 'Basket Case'. You know, Green Day."

"What kind of insane ramblings are you speaking, woman?"

"Hey, I'm not INSANE, I just have a different reality than you! Literally. I mean, I think you've got _guts _to dress like that. In my world, you'd probably end up getting whacked over the head with a lead pipe in an alley somewhere."

"WHAT?"

"That's a New York City welcome. In _my _old town, you'd probably be a victim of firecrackers. Maybe a roman candle. I'd take the firecrackers, if I were you. That's a Southern Boy welcome for you."

"...I DON'T UNDERSTAND!"

"Don't feel bad. No one does. Not even me! It's just the way things work in the South. But we have sweetened tea, so it's all good!"

The strange guy drew his sword with a shake of the head. "Enough of this. Your mind games will not work on me."

"Mind games? Trust me, if I were playing mind games with you, you'd be in a lot worse shape. But I'm in a bad mood, so I feel like doing something worse to you."

He smirked and gripped the hilt a little tighter, forming a battle stance. "Then, let us begin."

"Um...Peyton...I dunno if this is a good idea..." Senna whispered. Obviously she thought she was going to have to save Peyton's ass.

She was about to reply, but then lightning lit up the sky, and her smirk grew into a rather insane grin.

Hollow Ichigo would be proud.

"...Perfect. Lightning. Let's dance, douchebag."

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

This Yashuu chick was a lot harder than they thought. She was bending in and out of auras, flitting around them so quickly it made it hard to see.

Finally, Byakuya landed a blow to her arm, making her falter a bit.

Rukia took that chance to land one across her middle, and that pissed her off quite a bit. She flipped to perch onto a tree, looking down at them.

"Why'd you do it?" Ichigo asked. "What's the point?"

Yashuu shifted her gaze down to him. "Point? The POINT is for rank. I am the eldest; _I _should be the trusted daughter, next in line. I even joined the Soul Reaper Academy, and was excelling! Yet Arisu, my younger sister, is still favored as the next in line. It is not _logical_! I am the eldest; ME. I should be _respected_..."

"So you killed your mother for respect? How the hell do you figure _that one's _gonna work out!"

Her green eyes flashed angrily; they could see it all the way down there. Lightning continued to flash across the sky, and the wind was picking up.

"You think I killed my mother for _respect_? She was collateral damage; she found out about my alliance with the Iga Clan."

"So YOU are responsible for the assassins," Matsumoto clarified.

"You catch on fast, Lieutenant Matsumoto," was her reply, zanpakuto drawn.

"You see, as far as the rest of the shinigami are concerned back in the Seireitei, we were unfortunately overpowered by assassins in our safehouse. My mother was missing, and I was the sole survivor. I traveled here, prepared to finish off my siblings myself. Along the way, I found my mother in the woods, half-starved. I played the role of a good daughter, helping her along. We stayed here, waiting for your arrival. But the Head of the Iga Clan came to me during the middle of the night two days previous, discussing your strength and how none of his assassins were returning. Save for one. My mother overheard the whole thing."

Yashuu brushed the bangs out of her eyes, tucking them behind her ears. "What was I to do? Let all our hard work go to waste? So I disposed of her; merely an hour before your arrival, as a matter of fact."

Ichigo gripped Zangetsu even tighter. "That's just despicable. Doing all this, letting your family die, all for a social rank. What the hell's wrong with you?"

Yashuu narrowed her eyes, then nodded. "Now I remember. You must be that substitute shinigami everyone was talking about a while back; the one with bright orange hair that helped expose Aizen. Kurosaki Ichigo. No wonder you are so naiive to the workings of Soul Society and its leaders."

She then glanced up at the sky as the lightning was accompanied by a sapphire-purple flash, streaking across the sky, one after another.

She smirked. "That must be the girl the surviving assassin mentioned. The one who could see the auras. It all makes sense now. She should be _plenty _of fun for the Head."

"What the hell is _that _supposed to mean?"

Yashuu just chuckled and shunpoed to stand beside Renji, landing a blow to his side before he even knew what was happening.

"Gah! I should've seen that coming," he groaned as he quickly recovered and nullified her reiatsu-packed combo attack.

* * *

As an all-out battle ensued, Ichigo heard Hichigo in the back of his head between attacks. _**"You heard the psychopath, King. The Head. She must mean the Head Honcho of the Iga Clan. Does our Peyton really stand much of a chance?"**_

"_Shut up, she can take care of herself."_

"_**Oh really? You know this for a fact, do you? You don't know how many ninjas he could have backing him up right now. What if the other chick already KO'ed? That leaves our little old Peyton, all by herself, fending off the most lethal of the ninjas."**_

"_Shut up! And she's not 'ours', you dickhead!"_

"_**Tch, shows how much YOU care about her whereabouts, ya asshole. C'mon. You'll never win in time if you don't lemme help you."**_

"_I don't need you, and Peyton doesn't need me!"_

"_**How would you know? Urahara may be a former Captain, but we don't even know for a fact what she DOES. She could shoot out fucking rainbows and kittens or something for all we know. She doesn't stand a damn chance, and you know it."**_

"_Yes she does, now shut the hell up!"_

Hichigo's voice turned into an all-out smug tone. _**"Just five minutes. Come ooooonnnn. You knooowww you're doubting her. Just lemme have control for five minutes, King."**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**FORTY ****MINUTES LATER...**_

The creepy samurai-dude took a much longer time to get to his feet. Peyton formed a ball of the spirit energy in her hand, panting heavily but still managing to glare rather ominously at him.

He gripped his sword and chuckled. "You are quite the challenge. I knew you could see the auras, but I had no idea you could harness such a power."

She shrugged, wincing as pain shot up her shoulder. "I thought ninjas were supposed to always be prepared, and expect the unexpected?"

They resumed battle, charging at each other. She burnt the side of his face, he landed a blow to her temple.

Another streak of lightning flashed in the sky, and she harnessed its energy again, blasting him in the chest.

He flew back, and this time, he didn't get up.

Peyton shuffled over to the Nobles, who were still stunned speechless. "...I think we should be alright now," she informed them, ignoring Senna's "WATCH OUT!" and landing another blast in the samurai's face as he tried to sneak up on her.

Arisu finally found her voice. "...How did you know he would attack?"

Peyton smiled and slid to the ground, exhausted. "When you've watched scary movies for as long as I have, you learn a few things. The bad guy almost always 'comes back to life' for _one _last scare."

She used the back of her hand to wipe away some blood that came close to trickling into her eyes and sighed heavily. "Well, _that _was fun."

Senna laughed, and Chiyoko inched a little closer so she was between Peyton and Arisu, nearly in Peyton's lap.

"I don't know what the hell you did, but you sure impressed ME," Senna commented.

Peyton smiled. "Thanks. That's what dad and my math teacher said when I passed my winter finals with flying colors."

She looked towards the wooded area, where the clash of metal and shouting could still be heard over the thunder and wind.

"Do you think they're okay?" Chiyoko asked worriedly.

"Yep."

Arisu cocked her head. "You aren't worried about Kurosaki-san?"

Peyton shook her head brightly before yawning. "Of course not. Ichigo _always _wins."

_**

* * *

**_

_**TEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Toshiro was the one to land the final blow. Yashuu collapsed, struggled to her feet, took two steps, and collapsed again.

She trembled as several zanpakutos were raised at the ready, but then she smiled a little. "You know, I was going to kill them in their sleep. That way, they wouldn't know what happened. Maybe that way they would sleep forever, and the pain wouldn't be so bad..."

Ichigo lowered his zanpakuto slowly. "That's a good theory."

He put it back in its sheath; she was pretty close to death, anyways. "But I still hold no respect or sympathy for the likes of you."

She frowned. "I wouldn't expect an Outsider to understand how Nobles must go through life. You humans have it lucky, remember that." A few moments later, she was dead.

Byakuya was the last to sheath his zanpakuto, and Matsumoto made a clicking noise with her tongue. "How ironic. She killed to get respect, but died without any."

Toshiro nodded. "Well said, Leiutenant."

Matsumoto smiled a little, then her eyes widened. "Oh, wait! What about Peyton and Senna, and the others?"

Everyone headed for the safehouse, but Toshiro lagged behind to walk with Ichigo, who was currently trying to get a gash on his chest to stop oozing.

"How did you resist the urge to unleash your Hollow? I am almost certain he would have used Peyton to gain control."

Ichigo shrugged. "Simple. He's full of shit, and I know she'd win."

"How do you know?"

He rolled his eyes. "This might be hard to believe, but I actually happen to _believe _in my girlfriend. Besides; Did you see all that purple stuff in the sky? I saw the same thing when she defeated Bount Boy. I'm sure she could kick a ninja's ass _any _day."

Toshiro chuckled. "Well, I guess there's always that. AND there's always the fact that she can harness electricity in the air to flow through her and aid her in attacks at will."

Ichigo stopped mid-step. "...She can WHAT?"

Toshiro kept walking, and he ran to catch up.

"Wait, wait, no no no NO! That's not fair, that's so _cool_! WHY THE FUCK CAN'T _WE _DO THAT? DON'T YOU EVEN TRY TO TELL ME MAYURI HASN'T FIGURED OUT HOW YET!"


	58. Bath Time With Yoruichi!

**Me: Well, i sure got some interesting reviews!**

**Rukia: Interesting is ONE word.**

**Me: Firstly, i would like to say that unfortunately, i do NOT live in Florida. However, i AM single and i AM more-or-less enjoying summer. Secondly, i would like to stress to Syco's Path and their Best(Chick)Friend to NOT kill each other. You're too funny! **

**Rukia: (sweatdrops) You're just saying that because Syco called you a goddess of filling-fiction!**

**Me: AM NOT! (hands cake) And i shall give you BOTH cake. And it's Ichigo's i stole, so that's like a twofer, it's hard to get! Urahara sure likes it, so i assume it's good.**

**Rukia: You gave Kisuke ICHIGO'S CAKE? (pales at the thought of the battle that could ensue)**

**Me: (totally oblivious) Yep!**

**Rukia: (shake of the head) He's gonna maul you for that.**

**Me: (shrugs) His fault for being AWOL so long for the pre-and-post-chapp discussions! And thanks to all other reviewers, you're all so great and im glad you like my fic and take the time to read and review it! and i would also like to give Syco's Path credit for the second half of this chapp, because their review for the 9th chapter inspired the perverted hilarity. So thanks for the FANSERVICED ENCOUNTER! Hope you like it!**

**Rukia: Enjoy!**

* * *

"Wow, sucks to be _you _right now," Renji informed the samurai, burnt more-or-less to a crisp. Peyton's head felt really heavy, but she lifted it anyway to see everyone taking in all the ninjas and the samurai with wide eyes.

Senna stood with a smug smirk. "A little more than half of those ninjas were mine!"

Toshiro was the last to come into view, followed by Ichigo.

He was yelling about something to do with Soul Reaper technology, and her temple throbbed. "STOP SHOUTING, YOU JERK, MY HEAD'S _KILLING _ME!" She shouted.

Really, that shouting made her head feel ten times worse, but at least she got his attention. "Peyton! See, I _knew_ you'd- holy shit, that poor douchebag," he said suddenly as he saw the samurai.

"He's still alive," Byakuya informed them. Everyone, the Nobles included, hissed in breaths and went "Ouccchhh."

Peyton then grinned smugly. "See? I can take care of myself just fine." Ichigo wiped some stray hair and blood off her forehead with a smirk. "Really? Then why do I end up saving your ass nine times out of ten?"

"Well, I don't wanna show you and your magic sword _up_."

"Uh-huh."

"Really!"

"Of course."

"Don't make me bite you," she warned. He just laughed and pulled her to him, and she huffed. "So much for being intimidating..."

Byakuya quite openly rolled his eyes as they kissed, which NATURALLY made them kiss some more to piss him off.

"Public display of affection is so crude."

"Only when it's ugly people," Matsumoto argued.

Everyone turned to look at her, and she shrugged. "What? It's true. Would YOU watch two ugly people 'display affection'?"

Her question was answered with silence. Finally, Peyton raised her hand confidently. "I can honestly say that no, I wouldn't."

Matsumoto pointed at her enthusiastically. "See? At least SOMEONE else is honest!"

Ichigo shrugged. "I thought it was pretty obvious what MY answer would be."

"True, true."

_**

* * *

**_

_**THE ****NEXT MORNING...**_

"Chiyoko, I'm gonna miss you too, but not as much as I'm starting to miss oxygen," Peyton managed to get out as she was nearly hugged to death.

She reluctantly let go. "Forgive me, it's just...I'M GONNA MISS YOU SOOO MUCH, PEYTON-CHAN!" She wailed before hugging her waist again.

Peyton watched with a grin as Ichigo held out a hand to Senna, who smacked it away and bombarded him with a hug. "You better come back to see me someday, you big bastard!"

Arisu gently pried her sister off Peyton, then bowed respectfully. "Many thanks and blessings, Cullen-san. Without you, I am confident neither I nor my siblings would be alive, and my whole family's legacy would be lost."

She waved her off. "No bowing necessary, really. I'm sure there's a noble way to at least gimme a handshake."

"Hand...shake?"

Peyton nodded and held out her hand. "It's where you shake hands. Here, hold your hand out like this. Uh, no, your other hand. Okay, good, and then you shake them up and down, like _this_..."

They smiled at each other as they shook hands, and Peyton suddenly remembered something. "Oh! And that man you have your eyes on? Go after him, alright? No matter what."

Arisu's cheeks turned a lovely tinge of pink, and she nodded timidly. "No matter what. As you wish."

As soon as the Noble moved to talk to Rukia, Senna nearly ran Peyton over as she hugged her tightly. "I'm gonna miss you so much!"

"Same, Senna, same," she replied, hugging her back.

"You were the best competition ever, you know that?"

"So I've heard."

Senna laughed and pulled away, grinning. "Ya know, to be honest...I'm glad Ichigo has you. You might keep that dumbass alive a little longer."

"And it's a good thing Shiro has you. He NEEDS a battle-scarred kick-ass shinigami like you around."

"Hell yeah he does!"

They laughed, and Senna patted her non-bandaged shoulder before running after Toshiro. "HEY, COME BACK HERE, CAPTAIN HITSUGAYA! I have a bone to pick with you!"

Byakuya gave Renji a nod, who nodded back and drew his zanpakuto, summoning the Senkaimon.

Tetsuo bowed to the Captain at the waist, and Byakuya returned it. "I cannot thank you enough, Captain Kuchiki. The King will definitely hear tales of you and the amusing squad that saved our lives."

"_Awesome_," Peyton and Renji muttered at almost exactly the same time, making Byakuya resist the urge to sigh at their immaturity.

"After you, Captain," Renji said with a nervous laugh at the look he was being given. Senna abruptly stopped scolding Toshiro for "running away from not only ME but the hot-piece-of-ass Lieutenant of yours" and sighed heavily.

"I guess this is it. Goodbye, everyone! I'm glad you let me tag along."

Peyton waved goodbye before following everyone else through the wooden sliding-door.

_**

* * *

**_

_**LATER**__**...**_

"Hat-And-Clogs, you are a goddamn genius," was Ichigo's thoughtful greeting as they reached his shop.

Urahara was standing by the entrance, and tipped his hat with a smirk. "About time you realized that, Ichigo."

Ururu smiled at them as she finished sweeping and led them inside. "How did it go?"

"Well, we're in one piece, but everyone's a little banged-up," Rukia replied matter-of-factly. Peyton just grinned. "It was AWESOME."

Yoruichi was there, in human form, with her cool clothes that Peyton was always so jealous of. She looked at them all and her gaze stopped on Peyton and Ichigo, who had the most bruises and scrapes. "Looks like _you _had fun," she commented, looking pointedly at their bandages and cuts.

"Oh, I have more if you wanna see!" She said excitedly, making Toshiro and Ichigo sweatdrop.

"...She's happy?"

Matsumoto chuckled as Yoruichi dragged her out of sight, saying "You could use a bath, kid."

"Bath? Oh, no way! I hate baths!"

"WHAT?"

Their conversation trailed off as they went down the hall, leaving tons of sweatdrops in their wake.

Matsumoto then helped herself to a mysterious-looking cake on Urahara's table. "Of course she is. Her first official battle scars."

"I doubt those'll leave any scars."

"Figure of speech," she replied to Toshiro, making Ichigo snicker.

"I knew that," he snapped at Ichigo, who just shook his head.

Rukia cocked an eyebrow. "Did she just say she hated _baths_?"

* * *

Yoruichi continued to drag her to what Peyton assumed was one of the bathrooms, glancing at her in disbelief. "You don't like baths."

"Hell no! It's like stewing in your own filth. I haven't taken an actual bath since I was six. I've been taking showers for...forever!"

The former Captain laughed and shook her head. "No shit? You're so entertainingly odd, even by human standards."

"I think bath-takers are the odd ones."

She waved her off. "Nah. Once you take a steaming hot bath with tons of bubbles, your hair tied up in a messy little bun-slash-ponytail, you never go back. It's almost as good as eating chocolate on your period, it makes me happy just thinking about it!"

Peyton sweatdropped. "...That's almost unhealthy, Yoruichi. I thought cats hated water?"

"This cat sure as hell doesn't. Trust me, you're gonna love me for this. You don't know what you've been missing."

"I highly doubt that..."

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"...Of course, I've been wrong before," Peyton commented, eyes closed lazily.

"Told you. You don't know what you've been missing, Yankee," Yoruichi replied in her manly voice, having switched into cat form, stretched out on the sink.

She nodded with a content sigh. "I'm so mellow right now, I'll even let 'Yankee' slide this time."

"So, how pissed did you make Little Byakuya?"

"Moderate. I was a bit disappointed. I think _Renji _got on his nerves more than anything."

"Ah, so it's true. He IS fooling around with Rukia."

Peyton opened one eye. "Ha! He wishes. Renji kissed ass by giving Byakuya a banana. MY banana," she huffed.

Yoruichi cocked one cat eyebrow. "If you really want a banana, there's about a hundred lying around here."

"Really?"

"Bananas and limes."

"Awesomesauce!"

The cat sweatdropped. "...Did you just say 'awesomesauce'?"

Peyton nodded, blowing some bubbles out of a piece of bang that had fallen out of her bun-slash-ponytail and was currently dangling in front of her eyes.

"My new word. For when awesome just isn't enough."

The feline nodded thoughtfully before doing one of those intense cat stretches. "Awesomesauce...I like it."

Peyton grinned. "Hard not to with such an epic word."

Yoruichi hopped off the sink, eyeing the bath longingly. "I'm getting in, too."

"WHAT?"

"Oh, please. What's the problem?"

"I'm NAKED."

"So? I'm a woman, it's nothing I haven't seen before. I don't bite," she replied, flashing her cat teeth as if to emphasize her words.

Peyton paused, then huffed. "Fine. But stay on THAT SIDE," she demanded, pointing to the opposite end of the huge bathtub.

"Yay!" She exclaimed, which was rather_...what did Ichigo call it again? ...OOC! THAT'S IT!_

As if on cue, none other than Ichigo walked in. "Hey, wait, _this _isn't a secret kitchen. Hat-And-Clogs is SO full of- HOLY SHIT, YORUICHI!" He shouted as, with an impish cat grin, she changed form with a _**POOF!**_

* * *

Peyton sweatdropped as Ichigo spazzed, ramming into the door. "PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON!"

"But, Ichigo, I'm taking a bath. I usually bathe _naked_," She replied innocently.

Peyton slid a little lower, never having been so grateful for the invention of soap bubbles as she was now.

"Then hurry up and get in, but dammit, don't get so close to me when you do that!"

"What, it's not like this is the first time you've seen me naked or anything."

Peyton's temple throbbed at that; she turned her head up to look at him. "Oh REALLY?"

"It's not like that, it's- Wait...You're BOTH taking a bath? As in TOGETHER? AT THE SAME TIME?"

"Do you need a thesaurus to find more words for 'both'?" Peyton asked dully.

While he was trying to process the whole perverted situation, Yoruichi inched towards the door and locked it. Ichigo, having been THIS CLOSE to touching a specific area on her body, had spazzed out and was currently standing on the toilet, poised to defend himself.

She simply smiled. "_Now _it's a party!"

Peyton sighed and rubbed her non-bruised temple tiredly. "My perverted mind just can NOT grasp this."

"Hey Peyton?"

"Yes, Ichigo."

"I thought you hated baths."

"I did, but I was starting to change my mind-" She cut off as Yoruichi hopped in, making water go everywhere.

Ichigo sweatdropped as Peyton briefly closed her eyes in annoyance before finishing her sentence.

"...But I'm starting to stand by my previous belief."

* * *

Ichigo turned even redder. "You're awfully...wet."

"Oh, not _this _again. And under these bubbles, I'm NAKED. That's right, I bathe naked. Shh, don't tell anyone," Peyton replied in annoyance. She had a brief flashback on that one morning in Disney World, the hot bathroom situation, but shook her head quickly to get rid of it.

She didn't want to start blushing.

Yoruichi splashed some water onto her dark face, totally oblivious. "This is AWESOMESAUCE!"

Ichigo pointed at her, looking at Peyton. "What's awesomesauce?"

"For when awesome just isn't enough," she and Yoruichi said in unison, making the latter laugh. "We should do this more often!"

Peyton folded her arms, looking expectantly at Ichigo. "So. This isn't the first time? Care to elaborate?"

He laughed nervously. "Uhhh...Well, where to start, ehhh...IT WASN'T CONSENTUAL!" He blurted, making Yoruichi's temple throb.

"You make it sound like I forced myself onto you. All I did was change form, more than once." A slow grin spread onto her face. "Am I still the _only _woman you've seen naked lately, Kurosaki?"

They both turned spastic at that one.

"T-THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"

"QUIT SAYING THAT, YOU DON'T KNOW THAT YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

"THAT'S a yes," was Yoruichi's reply, and Peyton looked at Ichigo. "Oh, so she's _not_ the first. This bath is revealing more and more about us all, I really SHOULD do this more often."

Ichigo groaned, realizing there was just no way to get out of this with his dignity still intact. He then blinked innocently at her. "I love you!"

"Yeah, yeah."

* * *

During this, they didn't realize Yoruichi had gone underwater and just now resurfaced, a puzzled expression on her face.

"...What?" They asked her cautiously.

She waved them off. "Oh, nothing major. It's just...I thought Matsumoto said you were a definite B, but personally, I think you're dancing on the line between B and C. It's interesting; I thought Rangikyu was the _expert _on boobs."

Ichigo started laughing as Peyton turned bright red, and she flicked some bubbles at him. "Hey, I would keep those in the tub, unless you want me to give MY opinion on your boob size."

Her temple throbbed, and Yoruichi laughed as she threw a bar of soap at his head.

"OW, DAMMIT!"

"PERVERT!"

"_I'M _THE PERVERT? YOU'RE TAKING A BATH WITH A CAT-LADY!"

"YEAH, THE SAME ONE YOU'VE SEEN NAKED MORE THAN ONCE! _NOW _WHO'S THE PERVERT?"

Before more could be said, the door was busted down, making everyone yell in surprise. In ran Toshiro.

"We heard screaming, is everything alri- ...Oh."

Matsumoto was giggling, and they distinctly heard Urahara comment happily, "Who wants to place bets on how many minutes it takes the bubbles to run out?"

Renji suddenly ran into view. "AWWWW, NO FAIR! Can I come in?"

"NO!" Peyton and Ichigo shouted at the same time Yoruichi said "Sure, why not!"

"ICHIGO, YOU PERVERT! SPYING ON GIRLS LIKE THAT!" They heard Rukia shout. Ichigo paled, and he laughed nervously.

"Now Rukia, let's not be rash...PUT the mace DOWN!"

Peyton slid even LOWER into the bubbles until only the top of her head was visible, temple throbbing, and Yoruichi just grinned.

"This is the best bath ever."

* * *

**Me: hahahahaha!**

**Rukia: (shakes head) You're so perverted.**

**Me: Oh, i could've made it MUCH worse, but i have self-control. Oh, by the way, i have two things to say, on the same subject: FAN ART.**

**Rukia: This should be interesting.**

**Me: (glares) AS I WAS SAYING...I've gotten a few PMs about fan art, and the answer is OF COURSE! Any fan art would be just plain awesome, and i'll put the link on future chapps so others can see it. For instance, i already know of one done by Jennifurball a long time ago, and i put the link on, but forgot to put spaces. So the link never showed up. If you wanna see hers, go to:**

**h t t p : / / j e n n i f u r b a l l . d e v i a n t a r t . n e t.**

**No spaces. It'll be in an old album , i'm sure, but look for the redhead! Also, my current avatar picture looks a lot like how i would imagine Peyton drawn in the Bleach universe. Not exactly, but a lot. **

**Rukia: Are you done now? **

**Me: Jeez, you're almost more annoying than Ichigo sometimes, you know that?**

**Rukia: Whatever. I'm just so happy!**

**Me: ...WHY?**

**Rukia: BECAUSE, according to Syco's Path, their best chick friend is shorter than me! This is...like...epic!**

**Me: (eye-twitch) ...Review.**


	59. Awesomesauce: The Best Secret Ingredient

**Me: Well, here we are. Next chapp. **

**Rukia: Not much to say at 4 in the morning, is there?**

**Me: Fuck no! EXCEPT...cakes with chocolate, white chocolate, AND raspberries would be AWESOME.**

**Rukia: (sweatdrop) ...I wish thinking more along the lines of 'Enjoy'.**

**Me: (shrugs) Oh well. Oh, and i found out FINALLY where Ichigo ended up! He's in the hospital along with Abby, Vivian's sister. It's unclear who won, so my money still remains in the balance. I'M SURE CAKE WOULD CHEER HIM UP!**

**Rukia: ...AND? WHAT ELSE?**

**Me: Oh, right, right! ENJOY.**

**Rukia: Very good.**

* * *

After having to wait until almost half the bubbles were gone, Peyton finally managed to get everyone out and slip on her clothes in peace.

After an hour-long retelling of the whole Soul Society experience, she was now able to walk home in the snow by herself. It was the middle of the night, it was dead quiet, and it was plain awesome.

Very nearly on Awesomesauce Level.

Ichigo and Matsumoto had passed out before she left, so she really was totally alone. Which was kind of nice, considering she was still a bit annoyed/pissed/slightly embarrassed over the whole Bath Sequence.

But, like the epic girlfriend she was, she didn't leave before kissing the top of his head. So there. He couldn't give her CRAP about lack of attention on her part.

She expected everyone to be asleep at her house, and as she grabbed the key hidden in a flower pot on the porch railing, unlocked the door as slowly and quietly as possible.

So of COURSE as she was feeling all ninja, making absolutely no noise, she tripped over a soccer ball and went flying into the empty present boxes with a Spastic-Mid-Air-NOOOOOO!-Dance.

It wouldn't have been so bad if the boxes hadn't been stacked up against the wall.

Which she hit with her head AND butt.

She never knew plaster was so hard until now.

While she rubbed her head, groaning miserably, she looked up to see a shotgun in her face. "What the- DAD, IT'S ME, PEYTON!" She shrieked, jumping back and ramming her back and head into the wall.

AGAIN.

_DAMMIT!_

Dad immediately lowered his shotgun with a nervous laugh, and Miya helped her up. "Well, at least we know you were in one piece BEFORE you got home..."

She brushed her off, and Peyton smiled tiredly. "Thanks."

Before Miya could reply, her future stepdaughter was soon tackled by her brother and sister, bombarded with hugs.

"AHHHH, SIS, WE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!"

"GAH! GET OFF GET OFF, THAT'S MY BIGGEST BRUISE YOU'RE LAYING ON, SETH! LINDSAY, YOU'RE PUTTING A NEW DENT IN MY HEAD!"

They ignored her complaints, hugging her a little longer before yanking her up, talking a mile a minute each the whole while.

"And then we figured out that Orihime had swine flu-"

"And Ms. Ochi's daughter searched EVERY CLASS Tuesday looking for you and Ichigo-"

"Linds, you're interrupting my story!"

"My story's _better_!"

"Mine's a matter of life and _death_!"

"Life and death? She got the shot and was totally fine the next day!"

"Yeah, exactly! She's alive, and a little further away from death! Life and death! See?"

"BOTH OF YOU, REST YOUR VOICES!" She shouted, temple throbbing. They shut their mouths and gave her innocent looks, their eyes widened comically.

"...I'm extremely tired. And bruised. And scraped. And about 90% of my limbs feel like spaghetti after being in that hot bath for two hours straight!"

"Wouldn't the water have gotten cold in the bath after a while?" Lindsay pointed out, totally ignoring the whole "I'm fricking INJURED here!" point Peyton was trying to get across.

Peyton shook her head. "Not if Yoruichi's constantly draining a little and filling it up with more scalding-hot water. Now, if you excuse me...I missed y'all very much but I miss sleep more so LET ME GET BACK TO IT!"

She shut the door, stripped to her black undershirt and Spiderman undies, and collapsed onto her bed.

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

_**KNOCK-KNOCK.**_

Peyton simply buried her face further into her pillow. "FOR THE LAST TIME LINDSAY, I AM _NOT _BUDGING, IT'S A _SUNDAY_!"

No answer.

Dammit, her and Seth had already tried getting her up and moving twice each. If they only knew what all she had been doing for the past week and a half.

Had it really lasted a week and a half? Well, right _now _she could believe that, she was so sore and exhausted. THIS was why she hated using too much of her powers. It may be cool, but it came with a hella tiring price.

On the plus side, the next time she had gym and changed in the locker room, the twig-girls would have something to TRULY envy about the Infamous Yankee Chick.

She couldn't help but grin at that wonderful thought.

She felt a lot happier now.

So of COURSE Ichigo hopped onto her bed like an oversized St. Bernard, making her nearly hit the ceiling with a spastic shriek.

"The hell- WHAT ARE _YOU _DOING HERE?"

* * *

She blew the hair out of her face after landing almost in the exact same spot she had been laying.

He shrugged, grinning. "I wanted to see my girlfriend, is that a crime?"

"This early, it SHOULD BE..."

"Peyton, it's two in the afternoon."

"Yeah, well, it FEELS like two in the morning. So...NEH."

Ichigo smirked proudly. "At least I have bragging rights. According to Lindsay, no one but me's been able to get you THIS awake. I feel so special."

"That's 'cause you ARE special."

He beamed, and she smirked. "You'd HAVE to be special-_ed _to wake me up, you know I'm not a morning person," she deadpanned.

His temple throbbed. "Ouch, that's cold. And it's not even the morning!"

"It is to ME! I just woke up! Technically speaking, that's the MORNING!"

He plopped his head onto her pillow, right beside hers. "TECHNICALLY SPEAKING, the morning is the time between midnight and noon. If you look it up in the dictionary, that's what it says."

She huffed, making a point of looking at the ceiling. "Yes, well. It doesn't say that in MY dictionary."

"Oh, jeez, this should be good. What does YOURS say?"

"It defines morning as 'The time when Peyton's passed out and should only be disturbed at your own risk. Should be handled like a nuclear bomb, and is prepared to blow the lid off the joint like one'."

He laughed, and she felt the vibration through the pillow. "You left me in a house full of drunkies last night."

She sweatdropped. "Run that by me again?"

"Yeah, it was almost as bad as when Gotei 13 invaded my house...Urahara had a lampshade on his head, Yoruichi was changing in and out of form every five minutes to see who she could catch off guard or turn on, Rukia started up a terrifying game of Chappy Tag...I'm lucky I got out alive."

They both shuddered at what the shop must look like now, and Peyton grinned. "I _swear _everyone was sober when I left," she said defensively.

"Sure they were."

"They WERE!"

"Who knows, maybe they got drunk off all those damn bubbles Yoruichi made in that bath of yours."

Oh, yeah. The bubbles. She wasn't sure exactly how many bottles they had gone through, but let's just say half of Urahara's shop was a sea of magical soapy bubbles.

Ururu must have had a FUN time cleaning up all that.

Peyton pouted at the ceiling. "Trust me, I think karma got me back for it. I have about ten new bruises from my epic FAILURE last night."

"How'd you manage that?"

"Let's just say I couldn't be stealthy to save my life."

"Well, we already knew THAT."

"Hey, don't make me kick you out!"

She could hear the smug grin in his voice, making her temple throb as he said, "Well, crap, I don't want that. Then I can't wonder where the hell you managed to get some sexy Spiderman underwear."

* * *

She turned a little red, and his grin grew. "...It was on sale."

"You sure aren't modest, are you?"

"Well, you already walked in on my bath!"

"But I didn't SEE anything!"

"Yeah, well, you're not seeing much NOW either!"

"...True, true." He turned his head so he was right by her ear. "...Right NOW, anyway."

Peyton pretended that _didn't _give her tingles. "Yep, that's correct."

He made a little whiny noise of disappointment. "Aw, you're no fun. C'mon, get up."

"No."

"Please?"

"No way."

"I'll fix ya something."

"You SUCK at cooking."

"So do you, but you still eat it!"

"...Well, still! Besides, the kitchen is LINDSAY'S domain. She won't let you anywhere near it."

He sat up and smirked. "Well, she can't stop me. Mark and Miya are out doing wedding stuff, Lindsay mentioned shopping, and Seth went off with Orihime."

Peyton sweatdropped. "Dammit. But of COURSE it's just us, so there's an even SLIMMER chance of getting back to sleep."

Ichigo nodded, hopping off her bed before grabbing her by the waist. "HEY, PUT ME DOWN!"

"You can shout all you want, it's just us, remember?"

"Ichigoooo, the blood's rushing to my head!"

He rolled his eyes, then laughed mischievously. "Fine, in THAT case..." Ichigo then slung her over his shoulder, sack-of-potatoes style, thumping down the stairs.

Peyton just sighed and propped her chin onto her elbows, which she rested on his upper back. "Fine, you win. But at the FIRST sign of smoke, I'm calling 911."

_**

* * *

**_

_**TWO ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Whoa, whoa, not now boy!" Ichigo told the puppy as it almost made him face-plant, nipping at his heels.

Peyton's temple throbbed. "If you drop me, that dog is gonna be the least of your worries."

"Now why would I do _that_?" He said innocently, plopping her onto the counter effortlessly and peering at her stove.

"Okay, so if these pictures are right, the knob goes THIS WAY for higher heat..." He muttered to himself as he turned one of the burner knobs.

Peyton sweatdropped and shook her head. "This can NOT end well."

"Jeez, trust me, would you?" He said defensively while looking for a skillet rather noisily.

"Do you even know what you're making?"

"Grilled cheese."

"Yay! I actually _like _that!"

"Why do you think I'm making it?"

"Boredom?"

"...Well, that too."

Peyton smiled and shook her head as she swung her feet, giving the puppy something to play with and paw at.

He rummaged through her fridge like a mad man on a mission. "Cheese, cheese, _chheeeeesseeee_-"

"Cheese," She stated, pointing at the first drawer to the left in the fridge. He opened it and went through it briefly, then shook his head.

"It's not there."

"Yes it is."

"No it isn't!"

"ICHIGO KUROSAKI, if I get off this counter and find them, I swear I'll-"

"FOUND IT!" He exclaimed happily, holding up several slices of Kraft Cheese. Peyton sweatdropped. "...That's what I thought."

* * *

He put the skillet on the stove, and she held up a finger. "Oh, and don't forget to take the plastic OFF the cheese slices."

Ichigo gave her a look. "You act like I'm the Cooking Antichrist or something."

"I wouldn't go THAT far! ...How about A Kitchen Fire Waiting To Happen?"

He sweatdropped. "Yeah, 'cause that's just SO much better."

She shrugged, continuing to swing her legs, and the puppy ran to mess with Ichigo some after realizing she was mellow.

"Hey, what's he doin'?" Ichigo asked while dodging the spazzy little dog that dove for his toes.

"Playing. What does it LOOK like he's doing?"

"I dunno, but he kinda reminds me of you," he replied as the dog slipped on its own paw and flipped, landing on its back and flailing around like it was drowning before simply rolling over with an idiotic grin.

Her temple throbbed. "You know JUST what to say..."

He moved to stand in front of her, bracing his hands on each side of her on the counter with that half-smile of his. "I love you."

She nodded, fighting the blush (why did him saying that STILL make her blush?) threatening to rise onto her cheeks. If she blushed, he'd win. "Now _that's _more like it."

He ignored the dog, still trying to play with him, and kissed the corner of her mouth. She pulled him back as he pulled away. "Hey, wait, no, you missed!"

They laughed and started kissing, but before they could get too into it they heard the skillet hissing.

They exchanged a confused look before turning to see something rather interesting.

The puppy had somehow gotten onto the counter to their far left, and his drool was currently dripping all over the stove as he panted eagerly at them.

They both sweatdropped, and Peyton made a face. "I am NOT eating that."

"Why does this seem so perverted to me? Him just _watching _us like that..."

They shook their heads slowly in disbelief.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"I promise there's no hair in it, dog or human," he informed Peyton as he plopped a plate of grilled cheese onto the counter beside her designated "Spot".

She was currently getting some Yoplait out of the fridge, and held one up for him to see. "Want one?"

"Sure."

She tossed him one, and he tossed her a spoon before grabbing one for himself. She hopped onto her counter, crossing her legs and peeling the top off the yogurt.

Peyton was very aware that he was watching her every move to see how she reacted to his food, so she took her sweet time savoring a bite or two...of the yogurt.

"Mmmm, so yummy."

"DAMMIT, TRY THE GRILLED CHEESE!"

She laughed and grabbed the plate. "Alright, alright, jeez." Surprisingly, it was pretty edible. Good, even.

He nodded as she swallowed it, pleased, and she grinned. "I'm impressed. No initial feelings of nausea!"

"There won't be _any _nausea. I _told you _I could cook!"

"When you try," she amended, taking another bite of both the grilled cheese and the yogurt.

"That's because I used my secret ingredient."

"Which would be..?" She asked suspiciously, hoping it wasn't something disgusting.

"Oh, you know, the same stuff I'm made of. AWESOMESAUCE!"

Her temple throbbed. "That's MY word, Kurosaki!"

"Well, then, I thank you. You're a genius."

"I know!" She replied cheerfully.

He smirked. "Y'know, I just realized something."

"What?"

"Is it really much of a coincidence that your favorite yogurt happens to be Strawberry-flavored?"

Peyton rolled her eyes as he ate some of his own grilled cheese before waggling his eyebrows at her. "What was that you said about it? Wasn't it...'Mmmm, so YUMMY!'?"

"I didn't sound THAT excited about it."

"Well, of course not. That yogurt's NOTHING compared to the real thing."

* * *

"You mean actual strawberries?"

"Noooo, and you know it."

She just took a huge bite of her grilled cheese pointedly, making him smirk. "Hmm. I don't think I do."

"Are you saying you need proof?"

She ate the last of her grilled cheese before smirking at him. "Do you even have to ask by now?"

Ichigo grinned and hopped off his spot on the counter, moving to stand in front of her again. But this time, when they started kissing, there wasn't any hissing noises or anything like that to distract them FOR ONCE.

She started tracing little invisible patterns along his arm, and one of his hands gripped the back of her neck. The other was currently running along the side of her thigh.

They ignored the clatter made by either the yogurt or plate sliding into the sink as he pulled her closer, not even sure which item it was. The hand near her thigh ran up to the small of her back, making her shiver a little, and she-

"...No wonder the dog's whining," Seth commented from the doorway, making them bonk heads and jump apart. He and Karin were staring at them with fresh sweatdrops. The dog was laying on the floor and covering its eyes with its paw, whining.

Her and Ichigo's temples throbbed. "DAMMIT!"


	60. A Banana And Two Limes! And LIE TO ME!

**Me: Well, we're back. And I'm sorry to say, I'm not ready for ANYONE to have my babies.**

**Rukia: If that's even possible, seeing as you're a girl.**

**Me: (mysteriously) There are ways, Rukia...There are ways!**

**Ichigo: (rolls eyes, which makes the other two laugh since he's in a full-body cast) Whatever. No babies. THAT MEANS YOU, PenguinLuver!**

**Me: Hey, don't be rude! It was oddly flattering.**

**Rukia: Plus Syco called you a..what was it? Oh, right. Vix-**

**Me: (proudly) VIXEN OF THE VIRTUAL DOMAIN!**

**Ichigo: So, in other words he's full of shit.**

**Me: (death glare) DO you WANT to be re-hospitalized?**

**Ichigo: N-No, please, anything but that! Their food fucking SUCKS!**

**Me: That's what i thought (hands him giant slice of cake) Here ya go! It's from "im a kitty that luvz sweets". **

**Ichigo: BITCH, I can't eat cake, im in a full-body cast!**

**Me: Why don't you get PEYTON to feed it to you?**

**Ichigo: (huffy sigh)**

**Me: FINE, i WAS gonna let you have some strawberry-flavored milk KijoKuroi gave me, flavored in honor of you by the way, but NOW...**

**Ichigo: (grasping air for the glass like an idiot) Unh! Unh! GIMME GIMME GIMME! I LOVE MILK! **

**Me: (drinking it exaggeratedly, giving me a Milk Moustache before using the innocent tone on him) Oh, I'm sorry, what was that? **

**Ichigo: (currently swinging his plastered arms at me) BITCH BITCH BITCH BIIITTCCHHH WAIT TILL I GET OUTTA THIS CAST!**

**Rukia: (shouting over our shouting) ENJOY!**

* * *

"The hell are you two doing here!" Ichigo exclaimed, both of them turning redder by the minute.

"Dad said to hurry up and get Peyton home so he can, and I quote, 'See her beautiful shining face again'," Karin said dully.

"And _I _forgot my wallet again," Seth added in an equally dull tone, grabbing it out of the fridge before heading for the door.

The puppy bounded up happily as if nothing had happened, nipping at Ichigo's heels again. He seemed to really like Ichigo, who was glaring at the puppy as if this was all its fault.

Guess she wasn't the only one who found Ichigo's annoyance entertaining. Then again, who didn't?

Except right now. Right now she was flat-out disappointed. _Things had been getting good_, she thought with a mental pout.

Peyton hopped off the counter and stomped after everyone, and she tried not to laugh as Ichigo's temple throbbed due to the puppy trying to trip him.

"Hey, dude, not now, I'm mad at you!"

"Ichigo? Are you..."

"I WASN'T TALKING TO THE DOG!"

Peyton sweatdropped. "...No, of course not. How foolish of me to even assume such a thing." She then kicked him on the ass. "And don't blame it all on the dog, he was just an innocent and perverted bystander!"

"Hey, don't you damage my hot orange ass!"

"I will if I want to!"

"Hey, LOVERS, shut the hell up!" Seth called from up ahead, making them both freeze. "We're not lovers, where'd you hear THAT from?"

"Karin."

"KARIN!" They shouted, making her temple throb. "According to MATSUMOTO AND RENJI AND RUKIA, you two fooled around all during your Soul Society Camp. Oh, and they mentioned something about a bath."

An evil aura surrounded the two, making Seth and Karin cringe on behalf of the three gossipers.

"NOTHING HAPPENED, THEY'RE _SO _GONNA PAY FOR THAT!" They screeched.

Karin rolled her eyes. "Fine, jeez, chill out. We all know it's gonna happen eventually, what's the big deal?"

"The BIG DEAL is- ...Ugh, nevermind!" Ichigo said with a groan of frustration. Peyton giggled, and he kicked her on the ass as revenge.

_**

* * *

**_

_**THIRTY-NINE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Peyton and Ichigo exchanged a fist-bump, looking at their handiwork with pride. When they had arrived at Urahara's, everyone was still incapacitated (minus Jinta and Ururu), and they used this to their advantage.

They had a Hitler-esque moustache drawn onto Matsumoto's upper lip, Rukia's previously-plain-white shirt was almost an exact replica of Karin's birthday card she made, minus the "HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN, PEYTON!" part, and Renji's eyebrows had been drawn to look even weirder.

Also, Peyton had arranged his hair to show off even more of how trimmed it was.

Jinta was taking pictures and had videotaped the whole thing, while also taking pictures of Urahara, who was currently giggling in his sleep and had Yoruichi (in cat form) tucked under his chin like a little kid.

Yoruichi was one of the drunkest of the bunch, and apparently hadn't budged one bit since she crawled up there late last night.

"Ichigo Kurosaki, we are full of AWESOMESAUCE."

"I totally agree, Peyton."

"Yeah, yeah, you're epic legends. Can we go back home now? Dad's gonna get really pissed if we take much longer."

They sweatdropped and, with one last look at their masterpieces, followed Karin out. "Why would he get pissed?" Peyton asked cautiously.

She sighed. "He thinks you're avoiding him because you didn't IMMEDIATELY come see him when you got back."

Peyton sweatdropped. "...You're serious."

* * *

Karin waved her off. "He has self-esteem issues, I think." Ichigo just smirked. "I tried to tell you, from day ONE, he was weird and perverted. But you didn't listen, did ya!"

"I figured you were the weirdest!" She shot back defensively.

"Chyeah right!" He and Karin replied in unison, scoffing.

She glared at them, then pouted. "If ICHIGO had woken me up sooner-"

"Whoa no no no NO, don't even GO THERE!" He said, waving his hands as if stopping a major traffic accident from occuring.

Unfortunately, when he did this he did it facing some cars on the road as well, and they thought he meant them.

They watched with wide eyes at the chaos that followed, flinching with every screech and crash. There was even a high-pitched yowl from a cat, just like in the movies.

When it was over, Peyton made a clicking noise with her tongue and looked at Ichigo, hands on her hips.

"...This is potentially problematic. And potentially ALL YOUR FAULT!"

He laughed sheepishly before giving her his puppy-dog look. "I love you?"

She rolled her eyes and pulled him along, as Karin had already shrugged and walked away from the five-car crash.

"You've got some NERVE, Kurosaki, using my own trick on me. And epically failing, too!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**SEVEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

When they opened the door, they heard not only the familiar sounds of Yuzu cooking, but Isshin's rather loud whining.

"And where the hell's Little Rukiaaaaa? Why are all Ichigo's friends avoiding _me_? Am I _embarrassing _to them? YUZU, WHAT'S WRONG WITH KIDS TODAY, HUH? I AM COOL! I AM _AMAZING_! I AM...AM..."

"You're AWESOMESAUCE!" Peyton finished for him, waving from the doorway. The way he brightened up, you'd think she was Santa Clause or something.

He gasped in that drawn-out, surprised way that little kids do and immediately dropped his remote, shot off the couch, and sprinted for her.

"MY BELOVED FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW'S FINALLY ARRIVED!" He shouted happily, bombarding her with a huge bear hug.

"Yeah..I'm here...Good to see y'all again," she managed to get out.

"GAH! I missed your cute accent! Even if you two DID become lovers during Camp, I wish you had just stayed here and entertained us!"

"Gah! Isshin, we aren't-"

"YOU PERVERT! WE AREN'T LOVERS, OLD MAN!" Ichigo said over her strangled voice, making her temple throb.

"I was...hoping to go for...a more subtle approach," She informed him, which just made him smirk at her and his dad.

Isshin was hugging her so hard she was currently off the ground (due to being SHORT and all, okay there, she admitted it!), and he was swinging her to and fro like a kid with their first pet.

She thought it was kind of cute; Ichigo found it disturbingly funny.

"Dad, if she's gonna be your future daughter-in-law, she has to breathe first," he said matter-of-factly.

She felt her stomach flip when he said that (okay fine, she admitted THAT too! But that's gonna stay just between us, right? RIGHT?), and Isshin let out a drawn-out sigh of defeat. "Fiiiine, son, I guess that's true."

With that, he set her down, and for once she didn't nearly faceplant.

Yuzu then appeared into view, bouncing in place. "I would hug you too, but I figured I should let you recover from Papa's greeting first!" She said brightly.

Peyton smiled, breathing like she had been underwater for too long. "Good call, thanks Yuzu."

Karin took the steps two at a time. "I'll be in my room, doing...stuff!"

As soon as she was gone, Yuzu grinned at Peyton. "She's been using the art stuff you gave her for Christmas non-stop since she got them."

Peyton beamed at Ichigo. "Ha! I totally know your sister better than you!"

"What makes you say that!"

"She's been using MY present non-stop!"

He grinned smugly. "I gave her cash. COLD HARD CASH!"

She narrowed her eyes. "How much?"

"$200 worth, all in 20s."

"Oh, you bastard, I can't top that! The hell's the matter with you!"

"I guess my awesomesauce is just more epic."

"NO WAY!"

"WAY."

"It's MY WORD, jerkface!"

"So? You probably made the word with me in mind, sooo.."

"Actually, I made the word with a banana and lime in mind."

He grinned. "_I _have a banana. And _two _limes!"

* * *

There was dead silence as everyone sweatdropped; Peyton's temple throbbed before smacking him upside the head. "Ow!"

"PERVERT."

He rolled his eyes and pulled a banana and two limes out of his jacket pockets, making Isshin and Yuzu go "Ohhhh, _I _get it!".

Peyton turned bright red; he smirked triumphantly. "Whatever were YOU thinking of, Peyton, huh?"

"N-Nothing, _those _of course!"

"Oh REALLY? You sure looked surprised when I pulled them out."

"Do you _want _me to damage your hot orange ass again?" She said menacingly, and that made Yuzu gasp.

Isshin giggled like a little kid. "Son, she's a keeper. She's not afraid to try new things, Masaki was the same way on certain nights!"

They both turned bright red, and Ichigo kicked his father in the face. "NOT LIKE _THAT_, YOU PERVERT!"

"GAH! SON, MUST YOU START A BATTLE RIGHT WHEN MY BELOVED FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW ARRIVES TO SEE HER FAVORITE FUTURE FATHER-IN-LAW?"

Peyton's hands returned to her hips. "YEAH, Ichigo. What the hell's wrong with you! Hey Isshin, what were y'all watching before we came home?"

* * *

That perked him up real fast (he had previously been rubbing his face and had been heading for the poster of Masaki to complain), and he pulled her along with him, diving onto the couch.

Shockingly, Peyton didn't score another bruise this way.

"It's this new show I found called Lie to Me!"

Ichigo sighed as Peyton lit up like a kid on Christmas. "Oh, here we go. She's been talking non-stop about that show."

"Well, if you're not watching, why don't you help Yuzu in the kitchen?"

"No way, he can't cook worth a damn!" Isshin said with a chuckle.

She smirked as Ichigo looked at her in horror, knowing what she was about to say. "ACTUALLY, he cooked for me today, and _it _was edible. _Good _even."

They heard Yuzu impatiently set something down before scurrying into the room. "ICHIGO, YOU NEVER TOLD ME! C'mon, I wanna see what you can cook. Come ONNNN," she said excitedly as she pulled him into the kitchen.

"DAMMIT PEYTON!" He shouted from the kitchen.

Isshin just turned up the volume. "LOVE YOU TOO!" She shouted back brightly, still grinning excitedly at the tv as the opening came on.


	61. That's One Big Twinkie

**Me: ...Well. Ichigo's been readmitted into the hospital, and Rukia's currently being interrogated by the police. We told Rukia about Syco's Path's fic, "Bleach the Bottle", and since Syco was out of reach, she took the pervertedness of it out on Strawberry.**

**(shudders)**

**It was terrifying.**

**Still Me, Now Eating Cake: Well, anyways. Sorry for taking longer than usual to update. Enjoy, and as always, review!**

* * *

Peyton glanced in the direction of the kitchen a little worriedly.

For the past three hours, the background noise had consisted of not just the tv, but Yuzu shouting instructions, Ichigo mouthing off, lots of clanging, a couple _**WHOOSH **_noises from the stove top going full-blast, lots of dinging, and the occasional "QUICK, PUT IT OUT BEFORE THE WHOLE KITCHEN'S SET AFLAME!".

It was almost more entertaining than Ghostbusters, which she and Isshin were currently in the middle of watching.

ALMOST.

Everyone knew Ghostbusters was easily on her Top Ten Favorite Movies Of All Time list. It was the first "scary movie" she had ever watched.

In fact, she distinctly remembered it because the first time she watched it was when she was five, and the part where they try to grab the librarian ghost nearly made her wet herself, right there on her dad's lap.

...Needless to say, the second time around, dad INSISTED she sit on her mother's lap.

Actually...Now that she thought about it, Isshin currently looked a lot like she did after she got past that traumatizing Ghost Librarian incident.

His face was leaning as far as possible towards the tv, eyes wide as saucers and filled with child-like wonder.

"...Isshin?"

"Yeees, Peyton?"

"Have you ever seen this before?"

"At least thirty-two times!" He announced proudly. Peyton grinned and returned to her also-interested-and-excited position.

"Awesome."

"Oh, that reminds me: We need more awesomesauce in this! THANKS PEYTON!" Ichigo shouted from the kitchen.

"ANYTIME!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**THIRTY-FIVE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Okay, so we've got..." Yuzu trailed off, her and her big brother sweatdropping.

Peyton and Isshin were currently bouncing in their seats, waiting for Egon to finish his explanation on the Supernatural Twinkie.

They then quoted Winston as his eyes grew wide and he said his Twinkie line.

"THAT'S A BIG TWINKIE!" They shouted in unison before giggling and high-fiving like little kids who just pulled the ultimate prank or something.

Karin was in the corner, sketching, and was about to make some smart-ass remark, but Ichigo shook his head with a smirk. "Just hold off a minute, I'm sure it'll get better."

Sure enough, they quoted some more as the film progressed.

"Tell him about the Twinkie."

"...WHAT ABOUT THE TWINKIE?" More giggling.

"So be GOOD! For goodness sake! WHOAA-OA-OA, SOMEBODY'S COMIN'!" And THAT'S when everyone clapped their hands over their ears and Ichigo smacked his dad upside the head. "Pops, PLEASE leave the singing to Bill Murray and Peyton."

"HOW CAN YOU BE SO CRUEL, SON?"

"EASY, I LIKE TO BE ABLE TO USE MY EARS! IT'S KINDA HARD TO DO THAT WHEN YOU'RE MAKING THEM BLEED!"

Peyton rolled her eyes and tugged him onto the couch by the back of his shirt. "Just sit and enjoy the movie, Kurosaki."

* * *

Yuzu hopped onto the couch between her dad and Peyton excitedly. "I really do love this movie!"

"How could you not? It's a classic!" Peyton said with equal excitement.

Isshin looked at Peyton, then his son. "Son?"

"WHAT, dad."

"Marry her."

"SHUT UP SO I CAN WATCH THE MOVIE!"

"ONLY IF YOU MARRY HER!"

"ONLY IF YOU SHUT UP!"

"IT'S A DEAL!"

Karin sighed and shook her head, erasing furiously. "Great. All your spastic yelling made me mess up. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but no. Your screeching never ceases to make me cringe."

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"ARE YOU A _GOD_?" Isshin shouted in a rather impressive demonic voice.

"...NO," Peyton and Ichigo replied with the same amount of uncertainty Ray had in the film.

"THEN..."

"DIE!" Karin and Yuzu shouted, complete with the famous Don Kanonji laugh at the end.

Peyton turned to look at Ichigo, whose temple throbbed at the fact that Yuzu HAD to throw her and Isshin's favorite celebrity into this. "RAY, when someone asks you 'ARE YOU A GOD', you say...YES!" She scolded, smacking him upside the head.

He glared at her, rubbing the back of her head. "You enjoyed that TOO MUCH."

She just stuck her tongue out at him.

Karin was currently situated on the arm of the couch, having admitted defeat. Apparently the love for Ghostbusters was heriditary in the Kurosaki household.

"ALL RIGHT...This chick is TOAST!" They all shouted, eagerly awaiting the next quotable scene: The Arrival Of The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.

Unfortunately, they never got to, because they smelt smoke and spent the remaining time of the film extinguishing the stove.

_**

* * *

**_

_**TWO ****HOURS LATER...**_

"That...was...THE best meal of my LIFE," Peyton announced slowly, patting her food baby happily.

"I sure as hell hope so, I think I suffered through eight courses worth of meals," Ichigo replied. They could tell he was pleased that everyone had nearly died from stuffing their faces.

"I'm so impressed with you, Ichigo! I can't believe you never told us you could cook!" Rukia exclaimed.

She had gotten home, suffering from a slight headache and a major Hangover Hunger, around the time they were frantically searching for the fire extinguisher while Isshin had been throwing water on the fire and making it even higher.

"That's because he COULDN'T cook before. Apparently he convinced Ishida to teach him," Yuzu replied, making Ichigo groan and his ears turn a little red.

"Three guesses why," Karin snickered. He threw his spoon at her, making her laugh even harder.

"Ichigoooo?"

"Whaaaat?"

"Can you drag me home?" Peyton asked with a hint of a whine.

There was a long pause, then he sighed. "Fiiiiiine." He helped her up, and she yawned and rubbed her eyes tiredly.

"Bye everybody!" She said cheerfully. She noticed that Rukia was still wearing her vandalized t-shirt.

Had she still not noticed? Did no one tell her? ...Poor Ichigo, something told her that he'd have to deal with her brute force when he got home.

"They're gonna get married," Isshin announced matter-of-factly as Ichigo pulled her along. He poked his head back in the door to shout "SHUT UP, OLD MAN!" before shutting the door.

* * *

Peyton was currently just about falling asleep where she stood, and they got maybe fifteen feet away from his house before he sighed and gestured to his back. "C'mon."

"Yay!" She said groggily before clambering onto his back.

He sighed and shook his head. "Am I awesome or what?"

"Nope."

"WHAT? HOW CAN YOU _POSSIBLY_-" She smacked him upside the head to make him shut up before kissing his neck. "You're awesomeSAUCE, stupid."

"...Ohhhh! See, I knew that, I just-" She kissed his neck again. "Shut up."

"But if you keep doing THAT every time you try and get me to stop, why would I stop talking?"

"Because I'm not gonna do it anymore."

"Awww, no fair!"

"I'm gonna kiss you when you least expect it," she announced mysteriously. He sweatdropped. "...Peyton, with you, there IS no such thing as the Element of Surprise. SOMETHING you do always tips me off as to what your evil plan is."

"One of these days, Ichigo, ONE OF THESE DAYS! ...I will catch you by surprise."

"Yeah, well, good fricking luck."

"Yeah yeah yeah."

"Y'know, I think that's a band," he said thoughtfully.

"Noooo, that's Yeah Yeah YEAHS."

"Same fricking difference!"

"NU-UH, that 'S' makes a HUGE difference!"

"No it doesn't!"

"GREAT THINGS COME IN SMALL PACKAGES!"

"...Peyton?"

"WHAT."

"I love you."

"And _I _love the 'S' in Yeah Yeah Yeahs. …Oh, _and_ you, I guess," she added thoughtfully.

He sweatdropped. "Great. I'm an afterthought. I've been outranked by...a letter."

"Pretty much."

"Marvelous."

"Indeed!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**TWELVE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Peyton was fast asleep- shocker- so Ichigo didn't even bother waking her. He was about to knock on the door when it swung open to reveal Lindsay and Seth fighting to get to it.

Mark was sweatdropping as they continued to fight over who got to open it, and sighed and shook his head.

"Oh, no wonder. It's Ichigo."

"Hi."

"Bring her in."

Ichigo nodded and walked right past Peyton's siblings, who slowly stopped fighting and turned to look at him. Lindsay noticed the damage Seth had done to her hair during their fight (it was currently knotted and sticking out on end), and a little sob escaped.

"I've got to go tend to this...MIYAAAAAA!" She wailed, stomping off to find her future stepmother.

As he went to deposit Peyton in her room, he noticed an old woman sitting in the armchair by the couch.

Seth noticed him looking and nodded in her direction. "That's Nana. Our great-grandma. Just got here a few hours ago."

"What, for a visit or somethin'?"

"Nope. To stay."

"...WHAT?"

"Yep. Sorry, no more being home alone. You'll have to take your makeout sessions somewhere else."

Ichigo sweatdropped. "...I'm too depressed to even yell defensively about the making out thing."

* * *

Seth nodded with sympathy. "Dude, how do you think _I _feel? She's not always the most...AGREEABLE person around."

"Meaning..."

"She makes us MISERABLE, but dad just HAD to be the nice guy and invite her to live here since Cameron's in jail," He whined. Ichigo was the one nodding sympathetically this time before nudging Peyton's door open with his foot.

Seth watched from the doorway as it took about two minutes of Ichigo's full strength to pry Peyton off, and right as he plopped her onto her bed, she woke up.

"Noooo, stay here," she whined like a little kid as he was about to leave. He rolled his eyes as she pulled him back by the arm and finally plopped into bed with her. Seth just smirked and shut the door slowly, singing "Bown-chika-chika-BOW-wow-wow-Bown-"

"SHUT UP AND GET OUT, SETH!" They shouted, and he snickered before shutting it and running down the hall.


	62. Schmoranges And Monsters

**Me: Rukia's back! She's currently taking a potty break, though. (holds up new cake) I GOT AWESOMESAUCE CAKE FROM SYCO AND PENGUIN! **

**(Cake suddenly appears on a revolver, being modeled like it's on The Price Is Right) It consists of ice cream cakes surrounded by deepfried twinkies and covered in hot caramel sauce! **

**Still Me: (wide-eyed) Guys, you WON'T believe this, but i am from the South...I mean, the SOUTH...and have never had a deep-fried twinkie. I KNOW! And also, i would like to personally ask Byakuya, wherever he is, to make it up to Penguin for torturing Syco but never taking her to prom. NOW.**

**Still Still Me: Oh, and also. An anonymous reviewer asked if they were gonna DO IT this chapter, and that reminded me that on chapter 69...which is COMING SOON MY FRIENDS...you better get ready. Because EPIC PERVERTED NOSEBLEEDS WILL COMMENCE! (Laughs) I mean, come on. It's like a RULE to make a perverted chapp for number 69. So get ready! **

**And, of course- **

**Rukia: (Bursts through the door and screams at the top of her lungs) ENJOOOOOYYYY!**

**Me: (eye-twitch) ...Yeah. That. AND...thanks for the money for my cake stash, "im a kitty that luvz sweets"!**

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

"Hey. You. Hey you. Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey-"

"WHAT ICHIGO, WHAT COULD YOU _POSSIBLY _WANT?" She finally snapped, making her own head pound.

She was also pretty sure that her shouting had affected him in no way whatsoever. Fantastic.

Then she realized something, and lifted her head a tiny fraction to peer over at him. "...It's tommorow, isn't it."

"Yup. I fell asleep."

"Wow, so did I. What a coincidence, never knew we had so much in common! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna just do that some more. You know, the sleeping thing."

"You're NOT excused. It's Monday."

"That's just amazing. Nighty-night."

"We have to go to school in ten minutes."

"I can power-walk."

"But _Peeeyton_, our last detention's today! I really, really, REALLY don't want you to make us get some more from that stupid VP."

She smirked despite her grumpiness. "He won't give ME any, he loves me now. _You_, on the other hand..."

"Are about two times stronger than you, at least," he finished for her as he picked her up and set her down as far away from her bed as possible.

He then pointed at her dresser. "Get dressed. NOW."

She stomped over to the dresser and opened a drawer, scowling at her clothes. "Yes, MOTHER."

"Don't make me spank you," he replied in that slightly-smug tone of his as he left to do who-knows-what.

Peyton stuck her tongue out at his back in response.

_**

* * *

**_

_**NINE ****MINUTES AND THIRTY SECONDS LATER...**_

"C'MON ICHIGO, HAUL SOME ASS!"

"HEY, _YOU _GOT A FRICKING HEAD _START_!"

"KUROSAKI, NO RUNNING IN THE HALLS! ...Oh, good morning, Ms. Cullen."

"The HELL, man! BIASED!"

"Watch your LANGUAGE, Kurosaki! Have some respect for your vice principal!"

Ms. Ochi's class was full of sweatdrops and smirks, and everyone jumped as the door flew open and the two dove inside, sliding across the floor.

"WE'RE HERE, WE'RE NOT LATE!" They announced.

"...That's great, morons, now SIT THE HELL DOWN," Rukia growled. They were making her Slightly-Hangover-Induced Headache about ten times worse.

Their vice principal ran in, bracing himself against the door frame and panting. He pointed at Ichigo. "YOU, young man, are-" _**BRRRRRRIIIIIING!**_

He cut himself off as he nearly jumped out of his skin in surprise, clapping his hands over his ears.

Everyone stared expectantly at him, but he was scratching his head in thought. "...Gee, I forgot what I was gonna say..."

"You were just about to punish Ichigo for-"

"SHUT UP RENJI! You were just about to give Renji detention for three months as punishment for sneaking into the girls' bathroom on the second floor," Ichigo informed him without missing a beat.

* * *

All the girls gasped and looked all offended, and Renji's mouth was currently opening and closing like a fish.

The VP pointed enthusiastically at Ichigo. "Yes, yes, that's right! Thank you. REEEENJI!" He bellowed.

He pointed an ominous finger at Trimmed Pineapple Head, who was still trying to process what was happening. "...DETENTION. THREE MONTHS. NO EXCEPTIONS!"

Everyone clapped as if he had just done the most heroic thing ever, while Peyton and Ichigo slid into their seats stealthily before looking as innocent as possible.

Toshiro snuck them high-fives. The VP was busy trying to look modest, but then he cocked his head to the side to scrutinize Renji.

"...Mr. Abarai..What in the name of Sam Hill happened to your HAIR?"

A rather ominous aura surrounded Renji as he glared at Peyton. "...A _demon_."

She shrugged and blinked at everyone innocently. "It's my _stepmom's _puppy, not _mine_."

"A _PUPPY_?" The girls shrieked. "Yeah, it was a Christmas present. Isn't that CUTE?" Matsumoto explained with a giggle, smirking at Renji all the while.

"AWWW, THAT'S SO CUTE!"

Renji opened his mouth to say something, probably yell at Ichigo and somehow blame it all on him, but then he just sighed heavily in defeat and banged his head against the desk.

* * *

_**SEVEN ****HOURS LATER...**_

"But how do you KNOW there's no word that rhymes with orange?"

"Because everyone SAYS there's no word that rhymes with orange!"

"Yeah, and five hundred years ago, everyone said the world was square and there were tons of sea monsters that would eat you if you got too close."

"Well...They were idiots!"

"What if we're the idiots of THIS century because no one DARED to question if there was a word that rhymed with orange?"

"Peyton, there's no word that rhymes with orange. I promise."

"Promises mean NOTHING when it comes to serious dilemmas like this!"

"I pinky promise!" Ichigo declared before performing the sacred ritual that follows such a claim.

Her eyes widened at their linked pinkies. "...Really, Ichigo? You're willing to risk breaking a pinky promise?"

"I'm not BREAKING the pinky promise, because there IS no word that rhymes with goddamn _orange_!" He insisted.

The fellow detention-goers were watching with sweatdrops, and one girl whispered to her friend, "What's the POINT in this argument?"

One of the stoner dudes sweatdropped some more and rolled his eyes. "You must be new around here. This is daily routine."

"There HAS to be SOMETHING that rhymes with orange, because WHY ELSE would I put it as a line in this goddamn poem for Engish!"

"No there DOESN'T, you just WANT a word that rhymes with orange to justify your dumbass-ness!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Well, what about...what about...ummm...What about s-...wait, no, that rhymes with _banana_...No no NO, stop laughing, I've got this! ...WHAT ABOUT...Schmorange!"

* * *

The sweatdrops increased by about five, and Ichigo was one of them. "...Schmorange is SO not a word."

"Yes it is!"

"No it's not!"

"You can't prove that it isn't!"

"You can't prove that it IS, either!"

"Yes I can!"

"How?"

"'Cause I'm AWESOME." She was careful not to use "awesomesauce" around the underclassmen, because there were so many groupies in detention that it wasn't even funny. And she would NOT allow her amazing invention of a word to become GROUPIE-USED.

EVER.

Ichigo crossed his arms and smirked. "If it's a word, explain to us what it means."

She crossed her arms as well and leaned back in her chair. "Why, of course, ICHIGO. Schmorange is a word that originated in 1900s Boston. One blistery winter evening, a writer named, uh...Joey Tribbiani! Yes, Joey Tribbiani, he was having trouble wth business. He decided to enlist the help of his poet friend...Ross! Yeah, Ross. They sat down and tried to think of a nice poem as the intro to his book. BUT..."

She paused for dramatic effect, and Ichigo sweatdropped as everybody leaned towards her, anxiously awaiting the next part of her story.

"They made a near-fatal mistake."

"What was their near-fatal mistake?" One of the freshman girls asked, eyes wide. Peyton shook her head uncertainly. "I don't know if I should tell you. It was quite terrifying."

"TELL US TELL US TELL US!" Renji and Chizuru chimed, bouncing in their seats. (Chizuru was apparently in detention for "attempting to convert a classmate to swing a different way," as Rukia so poetically put it.)

"...I GUESS you guys can handle it. You SEE, they ended the next to last line...with ORANGE."

Horrified gasps filled the room, and Renji snapped his fingers triumphantly. "I _knew _it!"

Ichigo sighed and shook his head, sweatdropping so much that Peyton wondered how much sweat he had left.

"You see, it was so near-fatal because it was about one in the morning, and his book was due in three hours at the printing press, and all he had left to do was that _one_..._opening_..._poem_," she informed them dramatically, slapping the desk for emphasis.

They all jumped with each smack, and one of the stoners passing a blunt around coughed and laughed a rather stoner-ish laugh. "Dude, this story kicks ASS compared to that Shakespeare crap Mr. Okiwura's making us read."

* * *

Peyton beamed, then turned back into an ominous storyteller with an important clear of the throat.

"...Well, anyway. So they sat there, for two hours and thirty minutes, wondering what they could possibly do to fix their error. They wrote it in ink, so they couldn't erase it. They didn't have white-out handy. They had thirty minutes left, and it would take fifteen to get to the printing press. So THEN, Joey had a wonderful idea. He made up a new word, 'Schmorange'! So now the poem's last two lines read..."

"Read WHAT?" Several people asked.

"Ahem. 'I hope for Christmas, you get a bright, shining orange. Or better yet, make it a multicolored Schmorange'," she recited as if it were the greatest poetry in the world.

Ichigo looked at the detention teacher in disbelief as he stood up and clapped. "Cullen, that was wonderful! I never knew America had such amazing stories behind their odd vocabulary!"

Everyone else started clapping too, and a few of the groupies actually had tears brimming their eyes.

Peyton grinned rather smugly at Ichigo, who looked like he was conjuring up really creative ways to kill her. "...I believe that pinky promise is officially _broken_, Kurosaki."

The detention bell rang, and they were the first two to leave. But before they went through the door, she bowed dramatically, and the others clapped a bit more.

Ichigo rolled his eyes and shut the door, and she slid through it right before it smacked her in the ass.

* * *

Peyton just laughed at the obvious moping he was doing in his head. The pout was written all over his face, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. "...SOMEONE'S in a grumpy mood today. I think I was pretty damn awesomesauce in there."

He eventually sighed in defeat. "...Okay, maybe a little."

"More than a LITTLE! That was pure genius, admit it!"

"Okay, yes, you were good." She kissed his cheek, and he grinned. "Did I say good? I meant fantastic."

She rolled her eyes and kissed the corner of his mouth. "I'm sure your motives are totally selfless."

"More than fantastic, you were just plain AWESOMESAUCE! The _Friends _characters were a nice touch."

This time, Peyton just laughed and ruffled his hair. "Nice try."

"Is this for breaking the pinky promise?"

"No, but I'm sure I'll let you have the honor of making it up to me soon."

"Because teasing me just isn't enough!" He whined, and she shook her head cheerfully. "Nope! But it's pretty fun."

* * *

Ichigo huffed and stomped off dramatically, to which she easily caught up with him and jumped onto his back.

"Ahhhhh, DAMMIT! I thought I was a lot faster when making a dramatic exit," he whined.

"You are, I'm just ninja enough to catch up!"

"That's even worse!"

"So is breaking a pinky promise! You _monster_!" She wailed dramatically.

He scowled, but it was one of his scowls that he used when trying not to laugh. "If I'm such a monster, why do you INSIST on latching yourself onto my goddamn back?"

"Because you're the monster that I just _looooove _to piss off," she replied while messing up his hair, making him spin as fast as possible to get her to stop.

"Ichigooooo, stop, you're gonna make me hurl!"

"That's the point! Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll hurl you OFF!" To his dismay, she just started laughing like a little kid.

"Hehehehe, this is better than that game where you wind up a tire swing and spin really really fast!" She informed him.

He sighed, and even though she was currently seeing everything at warp-speed, she could still see the grin on his face.

"...Yeah, I'm one terrifying monster."


	63. Brain Rape, Curtains, Drapes, And Kon

**Me: Well, we're back!**

**Rukia: Me and Mandy, anyways. Ichigo's still recovering. That poor dumbass...He brought it upon himself... (suddenly cheerful) Well, anyways! I still have a nonexistent criminal record!**

**Me: How the hell did you manage that?**

**Rukia: Well...**

_**-Flashback-**_

_**(Rukia is currently seated in an interrogation room, with a light that looks exactly like the one used in Seth and Mark's sadistic game show when testing Ichigo)**_

_**Officer: (Slides photos of poor Ichigo, beaten to a pulp) You were seen beating the crap outta this guy! That's tons of assault charges and legal fees right there! What do you have to say for yourself?**_

_**Rukia: (Cue the tears) Gee, I'm s-so sorry Mr. Officer! You see...My grandmother just passed on, and he just made my day even worse by showing me a story on Fan Fiction that questioned which way I swing! Do you know what that can DO to a young woman's self esteem? It was...(chokes out sob) It was TERRIBLE!**_

_**Officer: (Currently sobbing and blubbering like a baby) You...You poor thing! YOU'RE FREE TO GOOOOO! (Runs off sobbing)**_

_**-End Flashback-**_

**Me: (Eye-twitch while eating taco cake) You...You're kidding me, right?**

**Rukia: Nope. It wasn't one of my best works, but I think I did pretty damn good!**

**Me: ...Whatever. ANYWAY. I would like to give props to two reviewers, Syco's Path and PenguinLuver, who happen to make an appearance in this chapp! Simply because their review just fit into the scene perfectly! And I'd also like to thank "rainbowdragongirl101" for the waffles and taco cake, and the BRILLIANT idea on who could make a guest appearance in the 69th chapp! AND "im a kitty that luvz sweets" for the 3 cakes I have yet to pick out that're her treat!**

**Rukia: Now remember, Mandy, I'm borrowing two of those cakes to take to Ichigo, so choose wisely.**

**Me: Lemme guess. He bribed you with cake in exchange for not pressing charges.**

**Rukia: Pretty much. Enjoy!**

* * *

"...And thanks to Joey Tribbiani and his poet buddy Ross, Schmorange became a beloved soda and chewing gum franchise that had record-breaking sales throughout the early-to-mid-1900s," Peyton concluded.

Everyone watched tensely as Mr. Okiwura slowly took off his glasses, his face its usual stoic and cold self.

He stood, and slowly started clapping. The rest of the class clapped too, and Ichigo just shook his head in disbelief.

"Excellent look into American history! I never knew of such a tale!" Okiwura praised, which kind of made Peyton nervous, since he usually hated her guts. But who was she to not enjoy a lucky break, right?

"I call bullshit. There's NO WAY Schmorange exists!" Keigo declared, pouting in the corner since his essay that HE read aloud had gone without barely any clapping.

Probably because Keigo's essay was the most boring piece of homework Ichigo had ever heard in his life.

And he had heard Ishihackaloogie's on several occasions, so that was obviously SAYING something.

"How would _you_ know? You haven't even been as far as Tokyo," Ichigo pointed out.

"Well how would YOU know, Ichigo?"

"Hmm, let's see. One, I've been to the US before, and TWO, I happen to be dating a hot American."

"I call double bullshit!"

Everyone looked at him, and he laughed nervously. "About the US part; you've only been to Florida, and it was barely for two weeks! Not the hot American thing. I don't want my ass kicked..."

"Good call," Chad commented from three rows back, making Keigo nearly jump out of his chair.

"Dude! You can't just sneak into a conversation like that!"

"Sure he can. He's a Convo Ninja," Peyton informed him before sliding into her seat, which was between Chad and Renji.

She was sure Okiwura did that on purpose.

Keigo sweatdropped as Chad held up a hand, and she stood up in her seat to high-five it while Okiwura was busy marking down her score.

"...Convo Ninja. Interesting. And what am I?" He asked.

Peyton smiled innocently. "Well, let's see...You're dating my sister, so I guess I have to be as nice and complimentary as possible. Keigo, have you ever seen 'She's Out of My League'?" Renji started laughing. "I was just thinking that!"

_Me and Renji having the same thoughts? …That's truly terrifying._

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

"It's kinda weird actually leaving school ON TIME," Peyton mused. Rukia smirked. "It wouldn't be if you and Ichigo could resist the urge to act like complete idiots."

She waved her off. "Psh, Rukia, it's not an URGE. It's a LIFESTYLE. Besides..." Peyton jerked her thumb behind her to point at Ichigo, who was currently debating with Keigo (STILL) on whether or not Schmorange was a word.

Well, it started out that way, anyways. Now they were arguing over the proper amount of pickles on one's hamburger with Ishihackaloogie.

"...I think you and I both know who the bigger idiot is here."

Rukia nodded. "Yeah, the one dumb enough to date him." She laughed nervously as Peyton's temple throbbed.

"...Was that not what you were getting at?" She asked innocently.

"Ruki-AAAA! I'm not an _idiot_!"

"Much."

"AT ALL! I invented a WORD, dammit! How could I be an idiot, that has GOT to count for something!"

"That just means you're a _convincing_ idiot," Ichigo called out from way behind, making her temple throb some more.

"...You DO KNOW she's calling me an idiot because I'm stupid enough to date you, right?"

"...Ohhhh! ..I knew that."

Peyton shook her head with a sigh, then jumped with a yell as he was suddenly right between her and Rukia. He rested his elbow on her head, purposely messing up her hair even more so than it usually was. "Well, Rukia's right. You ARE stupid enough to date me."

* * *

She glared up at him, looking just plain funny since her hair was currently sticking out at every angle imaginable. "Don't make me get smart," she warned, blowing the bangs out of her face.

Ichigo just rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right."

"What makes you so confident, Kurosaki?" Keigo asked as he caught up with them, to which Uryu nodded. "Indeed, I was wondering that myself."

"Because I have a hot bod, badass voice, and sexy orange hair," he replied as if it were obvious.

Everyone looked at Peyton, and sweatdropped as she simply shrugged. "He has a point."

Keigo pointed at Ichigo accusingly. "LIAR!"

"You wanna see if the carpets match the drapes?"

"Never mind," he said quickly, drooping in defeat, and everyone started flat-out laughing.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Peyton and Ichigo were the only ones left, since Rukia had realized how ticked Renji would be after detention today and decided to wait for him.

"To make sure he wouldn't hunt you down, Ichigo," was her excuse, which was a flat-out lie.

Everyone knew it would make Rukia's day if Ichigo got the crap beat out of him, cast or no cast.

"I still can't believe we made it to school on time yesterday," Ichigo said out of nowhere. "Y'know, considering you're the worst morning person and heaviest sleeper IN THE WORLD."

She rolled her eyes. "Like YOU'RE one to talk! I distinctly remember on one occasion that nothing short of a girl falling in your lap and a foghorn blasting you both in the ears could wake you up."

"That was ONE TIME!"

"One is all it takes, Ichigo. Then you're forever known as the heavy sleeper."

He sighed dramatically. "Well, at least I still have my epicness going for me."

"If you're lucky."

"Hey!"

"Hi there. What's up?"

"Nothin' much. Just chillin, arguing with Peyton. You know, the usual."

"Sounds epic."

"Isn't it always?"

"Ichigo, we've been standing here for a good seven minutes," she informed him, pointing at the driveway under her feet.

"You doin' anything later?"

"Weeeellll...I'm probably gonna do something with my boyfriend, so I might have to make a rain check."

"Aw, c'mon, what he doesn't know won't hurt him." He pulled her closer, making her laugh and shrug. "Ah, what the hell. Why not have a man on the side?"

"Not just a man...a MANLY MAN!"

"Whatever you say, Kurosaki."

Mid-kissing-session, Ichigo slowly turned his head to the left, pulling away. "...Peyton?"

"What?" She muttered with a huff, licking her lips and glaring at him.

He sweatdropped. "She's watching us."

* * *

"Who?"

"Your great-grandmother."

Peyton gave him a weird look before tightening her grip around his neck. "Impossible, she's in Tennessee. Nice try though," she replied before kissing him some more.

Five kisses later, he finally just started laughing and pulled away, pointing to a window. "No, seriously, look...It's creepy, I can feel her eyeballing me!"

Peyton sighed in disappointment and turned to look...only to see none other than her great-grandma staring at them through the living room window.

"Holy fricking CRAP! WHEN THE HELL DID SHE GET HERE?"

Ichigo sweatdropped. "She's been here for about two days and you STILL haven't noticed her?"

"Well, IF YOU MUST KNOW, I haven't exactly been the most...AWARE person these past couple of days. I'm still trying to get back all the sleep I missed out on!" She said defensively.

"I hate to break it to ya, but you're NEVER the most aware person. In fact, you probably set the lowest bar for awareness since...forever."

"Meanie. See if I go anywhere with YOU later!"

"You will."

"Yeah, I know. I guess I better...You know, socialize with her?"

"Why're you asking me, she's _your _damn relative!"

Peyton rolled her eyes and gave him a little shove. "Speaking of relatives, I'm sure Isshin's perched near the door just WAITING for you to come home."

"Unfortunately."

"Try not to get ANOTHER cast, alright?"

"Oh, ha ha HA. How fricking hilarious. That was ONE DAMN TIME!"

"Ichigo, we've been over this. One's all it takes, remember?" She said in a sweet sing-song tone.

He just huffed moodily.

* * *

Peyton kicked off her shoes, which the puppy seemed to appreciate as he dragged them off to his lair to chew to death.

"Hi, Nanaw."

She tore her eyes away from the window to look at her great-granddaughter. "Oh, so you finally realized I was here?"

She laughed anxiously, waving her off. "I, uh...heheheh...I knew you were here!"

"Oh, hush. I know damn well you didn't, but that's fine, 'cause you're the least annoying of my great-grandchildren."

"...I am?"

"Damn straight. You leave me alone when I want to be left alone," she replied matter-of-factly. Peyton couldn't help but grin; and people said she wasn't tolerable!

She sweatdropped as Nanaw flipped her white-streaked, long gray hair. Just like Lindsay did.

Creepy.

"So...That hunk muffin out there...That's Ichigo, right?"

THAT threw her for a loop. She sweatdropped. "Did you just call him a...HUNK MUFFIN?"

She laughed. "Well, he is! I remember when your great-grandaddy was that young and spry, bless his soul...Although I must say, he never had an ass THAT good."

Peyton promptly did her own Spazzy Wet Noodle Dance. "YOU WERE CHECKING HIM OOOOUT? THE HELL, NANAW! MENTAL IMAGES, WHAT THE SHIT!"

"Oh, PLEASE, I _saw _the way your hands were running over him!"

"N-Nanaw!"

"And with the way YOU TWO were kissing, I'm sure y'all are thinking about the same exact things. What I would give to have me a hot young thing like that..." She said with a disappointed sigh.

"SHUT THE HELL UP, ARE YOU FRICKING _KIDDING _ME RIGHT NOW? OHHH MYYY GOOODDDD!"

Nanaw simply pouted before turning in her chair to turn up the tv. "You're no fun today."

Peyton just sweatdropped and went to grab a slice of the cake she stole from Ichigo's house the other day. Lately, he was coming into a lot of cake from some unknown source..Maybe she'd ask him about that someday...

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****HOURS LATER...**_

Her temple throbbed as he continued to laugh uncontrollably, and seriously considered pushing him right into the river.

He noticed the look on her face, and just laughed even harder. "Oh, c'mon Peyton, you know it's funny. She said I had a hot ass?"

"Well, those weren't her EXACT words, but...I'm sure that's what she was thinking. Among other things..." She said with a shudder at the thought.

"I like her already."

Peyton sweatdropped. "Glad you find my mental scarring so damn funny."

"It couldn't have been THAT BAD."

"Ichigooo, you KNOW how my mind works. I had so many disturbing mental images that I think I might've thrown up a little for a second there. I mean, it was like...Gah!"

"...Gah."

"Yes, gah."

Peyton then sighed and shook her head. "I should've known it was coming. I mean, the way she was staring at us and all. Besides, ANY conversation with my Nanaw is like...like...'Hey, Peyton, how about a nice cup of BRAIN RAPE?' 'SURE!'" She exclaimed, throwing a hand up for emphasis.

Ichigo caught her hand and laced his fingers through hers, rolling his eyes. "You're so damn dramatic, I think it might be a hazard to your mental health."

She scoffed. "WHAT mental health? What little sanity I might've had before was gone the MINUTE I officially met you, Ichigo Kurosaki."

As if on cue, they suddenly saw two people, a guy and girl, chasing after Kon and shouting.

"YOU PERVERT! YOU SHOULD'VE GOTTEN OUT OF MY DAMN HOUSE WHILE YOU HAD THE CHANCE!" The guy shouted as the girl stopped to pick up some little toy Kon dropped, stuffing it into her pocket before resuming the chase.

"C'MON, CAN'T WE TALK THIS OVER? ONE PICTURE, JUST ONE!"

"NOT A CHANCE!" The girl screeched, swinging her metal bat ominously.

Kon screamed like a little girl and kept running. Peyton and Ichigo watched them run out of sight with lots of sweatdrops.

"Point taken, Peyton."


	64. Team Jacob, War And Peace, And An Alley

**Me: Back again!**

**Rukia: Because we have no life.**

**Me: (Eye-twitch) Says you. Hey, wait, isn't that usually Ichigo's line?**

**Rukia: (shrugs) We're quite Ichigo-deprived lately.**

**Me: (currently eating cake, ice cream, and Llama Cake simultaneously) Thanks to you.**

**Rukia: (death-glare) ...ANYWAY. Someone's gotta say some pessimistic stuff around here.**

**Me: True, true. Oh, and I think my anonymous reviewer deserves a round of applause for their new name they chose: Ishihackaloogie! It put the hugest grin on my face, thanks for that! Y'all Enjoy!**

**Rukia: THAT'S MY LINE!**

**Me: Ya snooze ya lose!**

**Rukia: (screaming from random mountaintops) ENJOOOOOOOOYYY!**

* * *

January went by more-or-less uneventful after that. Well, besides the normal insanity of Karakura Town and the Kurosaki household.

...And the Cullen household. Plus Nanaw.

Now that it was February, Miya and Lindsay were all excited because it meant they only had two more months until the wedding.

Not that Peyton wasn't happy for her and her dad. She just wasn't into weddings. But luckily, two months was _forever _in procrastinator time, so Peyton wasn't too worried over wedding stuff like her sister.

It had gotten to the point where she was doing wedding planning...AT SCHOOL.

"Like school in general isn't enough of a killjoy, you had to bring MORE WORK into it?" Peyton asked as Lindsay continued to scribble ideas down furiously.

Her older sister sighed and looked up at her with that "You naïve younger child" look of hers. Which was stupid, since she was only one whole year older.

"You don't get how much effort's put into weddings!" She slid the papers over to Peyton, who pretended to read them as Lindsay ranted.

"There's the cake, the dress, the bridesmaids' dresses, the bridesmaids themselves, the groomsmen, their tuxes, the maid of honor, the best man, the location of the ceremony, the location of the rehearsal dinner, the location of the reception, the food, the drinks, the minister, the rings, the flower girl, the ring bearer, and not to mention...not to MENTION the entertainment for the reception!"

Lindsay was about to continue, but Peyton waved her off. "Sis, take a breath, before you pass out from lack of oxygen. Can't...You know, the people getting MARRIED worry about that stuff?"

She sighed and shook her head. "Pey-TON, they're getting MARRIED! They shouldn't be worrying about their WEDDING!"

Peyton sweatdropped. "Obviously I'm missing something here, 'cause that concept makes absolutely no sense to me..."

Lindsay rolled her eyes and waved her off. "Go back to homeroom before you're late."

"Ma'am yes ma'am!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**TWO ****HOURS LATER...**_

"Whaddaya think he's doing?"

"Ichigo, if I knew that, I wouldn't have brought it up, WOULD I?"

"Jeez, no need to get snippy. Just a question!"

She sighed and shook her head. "We're not gonna find out what Uryu's doing THIS easy, we're not exactly his closest closest friends. We need someone who can get info from the inside, someone with the right amount of Ishihackaloogie's favor, someone with connections-"

"Hey guys!"

"Hey Orihi-WAIT a minute," Ichigo said before exchanging a look with Peyton. There might as well have been a huge neon sign with "CONNECTIONS" flashing right across her boobs!

Perhaps with a buzzing alarm, too.

Orihime sweatdropped as they both simultaneously broke into sneaky grins. "...Guys?"

_**

* * *

**_

_**TWO ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"He's been reading the same book every day lately, barely putting it down for ANYTHING," Orihime whispered.

They currently had their heads poking out from the doorway, looking into the room used by the Handicrafts Club.

Ichigo and Peyton had solemn, mysterious looks on their faces. In case anyone wondered what they were doing, at least they'd know it was something epic, as usual.

"What is it?"

"No one knows. He uses that book cover that looks like the back of a Yu-Gi-Oh trading card, and you'd have to be a _true idiot _to look over his shoulder to fi- Peyton, what're you doing?" Orihime hissed as Peyton casually strolled into the room.

She kept an eye on Uryu, who continued to read, as she did a Spy-Barrel-Roll across the floor to crouch behind him.

_If I could just read an excerpt, maybe I could figure it out.._

Right as she was about to read a couple sentences, Uryu stiffened and turned around. She ducked just in time, crawling away and asking, "Ichigooo, where the hell'd my earring bounce to?"

"How the hell should I know?"

"Because YOU were the one right beside me when it fell off!"

"It didn't FALL off, it BOUNCED off!"

"Does it matter?"

Uryu went back to reading once Ichigo and Orihime started helping her "look for her earring". Peyton winked at them and quickly took out her left earring, pretending to pick it off Ishihackaloogie's chair.

"Oh, THERE it is! Thanks, Uryu!" He snapped his book shut so fast, you would've thought a gun went off with the noise it made.

Peyton beamed innocently at him, putting the earring back in her ear, and Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Way to go, clutz."

"How am I a clutz? Am _I_ the earring that decided to fall out? I don't THINK SO!" Of course, right after she said that, she tripped over her own shoelace and came THIS CLOSE to faceplanting.

Ichigo cracked up, and she glared at him as they left. "I didn't get a good look."

"Aw, DAMMIT!"

Orihime sighed from the doorway and smiled admiringly. "I'm sure whatever it is, it's something deep and meaningful. Something only a person with advanced intellect could comprehend!"

Peyton started laughing for whatever reason, while Ichigo looked at Ishihackaloogie. "...My money's on War and Peace."

* * *

As they left down the hall, Ichigo drooped. "Dammit, I thought for sure we'd find out something fricking hilarious!"

"Well, I didn't get enough time to read any of the book-"

"I know, no need to REMIND ME of our epic failure!" He wailed.

"HEY, I'M NOT DONE!" She shouted before clearing her throat and smiling innocently. "Thank you. I _did_ see a certain fan button, though."

"What, 'I Heart Elton John'?"

"N- hahaha! No, it's even better," she said between laughs. "Team Jacob."

Ichigo froze mid-step to swivel to the right and look at her, eyes wide in amazement. "...No _way_."

"_Way_. This calls for _special_ recon."

"Stalking from the shadows?"

"You know it!"

"Peyton?"

"What?"

"I am now obligated to say that not only do I love you, but you're the coolest girl on the planet as of now."

"Aw, well tha- Hey, wait, as of NOW? I've ALWAYS been the coolest girl on the planet!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**SIX ****HOURS LATER...**_

They slid along the wall stealthily, and Ichigo poked his head around the corner. _**"Target is in sight. I REPEAT, Captain Awesomesauce, target...is in sight," **_he whispered into his walkie-talkie.

Peyton made a static-y noise as she turned hers on. **"Lieutenant Badass, you forgot to say OVER at the end, oooo-ver."**

_**"My bad, Captain Awesomesauce. Oooo-ver."**_

**"Apology accepted, Lieutenant Badass. ****Do you still have a visual, Lieutenant Badass? Oooo-ver."**

_**"Affirmative, Captain Awesomesauce. Oooo-ver."**_

"I wanna see!" She whined, poking her head under his arm, which was braced against the brick wall, and squinting at Uryu in the distance.

He had his schoolbag in one hand, his book under his arm, and a bundle of supplies under his other arm.

**"Lieutenant Badass, I spot suspicous cargo in the target's left arm, oooo-ver!"**

**_"I see it too, Captain Awesomesauce!"_**

**"Oooo-ver!"**

_**"Oooo-ver."**_

**"That's better, Lieutenant Badass. Oooo-ver."**

_**"Should we proceed, Captain Awesomesauce? Oooo-ver."**_

**"Of course, Lieutenant Badass! Jeez, what are you, an amateur? Have you never played GI Joe in the backyard or WHAT? This is why I'm ranked higher than you, this right here. Oooo-ver,"** she informed him, using her sweet and innocent voice on "Oooo-ver".

_**"Hey, watch it Captain, before I properly introduce myself to your great-grandma. Oooo-ver,"**_ he warned, mocking her sweet tone.

Peyton glared at him before using her walkie-talkie right by his ear, cranking the volume and causing a loud screech. "**POINT TAKEN. OOOO-VER!"**

He promptly covered his ears and jerked around spastically. _**"THE HELL WAS THAT, CAPTAIN AWESOMESAUCE?"**_

**"YOU FORGOT THE OOOO-VER, OOOO-VER!"**

His temple throbbed as he pushed the talk button on his walkie-talkie with a lot more force than necessary, then shouted into his walkie so loudly that it made wind blow in her face. _**"OOOO-VER, OOOO-VER, OOOO-FUCKING-VEEEERRRR!"**_

Peyton blinked real fast, blowing the hair out of her eyes. **"...Much better, Lieutenant Baddass. OOOO-VER."**

* * *

Luckily, Uryu was far enough away so that he didn't hear any of that. Ichigo was busy whining about his ear and how could her ears POSSIBLY tolerate him screaming with his badass voice, when Peyton suddenly got a brilliant idea.

She turned the volume back down on her walkie-talkie before smiling mischieviously at him. **"Lieutenant Badass, I just got a truly awesomesauce idea. Oooo-ver."**

_**"Oh REALLY, Captain? Oooo-ver."**_

She pointed wordlessly to the roof, and he shrugged. "Why not. I carry you around all the time anyways," he muttered as he stuck the walkie into his pocket.

She did the same before hopping on like a pro, which she was by this point. She pointed to the sky dramatically.

"To the roof, Lieutenant Badass!"

"You forgot the 'Oooo-ver'."

"OOOO-VER!"

"Much better, Captain."

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Ichigo, if you're going to stalk someone, at least turn your phone off."

"I, who is not Ichigo Kurosaki, have no idea what you're talking abo-"

Uryu held up his cell phone as Ichigo's rang.

_**"Ringidy ding ding dingy dong! Ringidy dong ding ding-"**_ Ichigo snapped his phone open and closed before simply saying, "Dammit."

He stomped out from behind the wall, while Peyton stayed crouched, congratulating herself on her epic awesomesauceness-

_**"Loosen up my buttons, babe, UH-HUH!-"**_ She silenced it before any more could play, turning redder by the second at the expression on Ichigo's face as Uryu held up his phone triumphantly.

"You too, Peyton. You honestly think I'm dumb enough to not expect you to be SOMEWHERE nearby?"

"Yes," she muttered.

"Buttons? The Pussycat Dolls?" Ichigo asked under his breath, obviously on the brink of rolling on the ground laughing.

"YES, because Uryu hates buttons and it's a very feminine song, so that's what instantly came to mind for his ringtone," she hissed back.

"Uh-huh. Suuuure."

There was a silence as Uryu tried to stare them down, which Ichigo broke by muttering, "Closet-Pussycat-Doll-Lover."

_**BAM!**_

"Ow! God DAMMIT!"

"I AM NOT A CLOSET PUSSYCAT DOLL LOVER!"

"OH, SUUUURE!"

"YOU'VE SEEN MY IPOD, THERE'S NOT A _TRACE _OF PUSSYCAT DOLLS ON THERE! AND ANYWAY, WHAT ABOUT _YOURS_? AT LEAST THAT GUY ON THE GEICO COMMERCIAL WAS ALREADY AN OLD SQUARE, _HE _HAD AN EXCUSE, BUT _YOU_-"

"IT'S MY SPECIFIC RINGTONE FOR ISHIHACKALOOGIE, AND YOU KNOW IT! ...AND BESIDES...'OLD SQUARE'? WHO THE HELL SAYS OLD SQUARE ANYMORE?"

"ICHIGO, WE'VE BEEN _OVER_ THIS ABOUT BURGLARS ALREADY! NEED WE DO IT AGAIN ABOUT OLD SQUARE?"

"WILL YOU TWO JUST PLEASE START- ...Calm, Ishida, calm..." He took a deep breath and pushed the glasses back up on the bridge of his nose. "Start explaining."

"We weren't FOLLOWING YOU," Peyton insisted.

Ichigo nodded. "Yeah, what she said."

Uryu sweatdropped. "How much of a dumbass do you take me for?"

"We weren't, honest!"

"Yeah, we were looking for somewhere else to make out," Ichigo informed him.

* * *

Peyton fought the blush threatening to rise in her cheeks and nodded in agreement.

Uryu eyed them suspiciously. "Why not your house?"

"Are you kidding? You DO remember my family, don't you?"

"Her house."

"Nope. Her Nanaw wants me for my body." Peyton's temple throbbed at that, and he just smirked. "It's true!" "Don't REMIND me, Ichigo!"

"...Wait, what? What on Earth is a 'Nanaw'?"

"My great-grandma, jerkface!" Peyton snapped.

"Well, how was _I _supposed to know? I'm still trying to get used to your Southern dialect!" Uryu said defensively.

Peyton huffed and folded her arms across her middle moodily. "It doesn't help that _Ichigo _said it, I guess...If you tried to speak like that in the Tennessee backwoods, you'd be eaten alive."

Uryu's temple throbbed as they went back and forth about it for another five minutes before finally shouting, "ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, FOR THE LOVE OF CROSS-STICHING, LET IT GO!"

They both instantly shut up, eyeing him weird as he panted angrily for a second. Ichigo sweatdropped. "...Jeez, Ishida, remember to breathe."

* * *

"Hey, now that we're on the subject, what's with the bundle?" Peyton asked, pointing at it.

Uryu hid it behind his back reflexively. "Nothing you need to know about."

"Aw, _pleeease_? You SO owe me for the Nanaw thing."

He sighed heavily. "All I will tell you...Is that if you're a true fan, you'll find out around Valentine's Day."

The two pondered on that, and then Ichigo scratched his head in confusion. "...Fan of what?"

"Only the most greatest contribution to literature of the decade!"

They both scratched their heads on that one. "...Um..."

Ishida sighed exasperatedly. "My point exactly! I bid you two good night, and good luck finding a new makeout spot."

And with that, he turned on his heel and left.

They both sweatdropped a good three times each.

"...Well, _that _was odd."

Ichigo smirked and pointed to the dark alley to their left. "Well, now that he mentions it...While we're here..."

Peyton glared at him before finally sighing and holding out her arm, letting him drag her along to the aforementioned dark alley.

Three guesses on what HE was aiming at.


	65. Old Winona And Strenuous Activities

**(Me and Rukia are currently in Ichigo's hospital room. I'm sitting on his bed while Rukia's in a chair.)**

**Me: We're back! This chapp's a lot longer compared to the other two!**

**Ichigo: (Eating The Supreme Cake) Mmm...So good.**

**Me: Oh, right. I'd like to thank Syco's Path for his Supreme Cake. It has Kon hog tied with an apple in his mouth, on top of a ten layer chocolate cake surrounded by twinkies, cupcakes, waffers, chocolate syrup, caramel syrup, a bowl of nuts on the side, and a candle that says 64, in honor of my 64th chapp im guessing! Does that not sound AWESOMESAUCE and..and..**

**Ichigo: Supreme?**

**Me: (points enthusiastically, nearly knocking the cake right out of his hand) YES, YES, THAT'S THE ONE!**

**Ichigo: (trying to save his beloved cake slice) Jeez, you clutz, watch it!**

**Me: ...Sorry.**

**Rukia: (nudges Kon with her foot, who we took off the cake because no one wanted to eat him. I mean, who KNOWS where he's been?) Should we untie him and get that apple out?**

**Kon: (Muffled) PWHI MAN'T BWEEETH!**

**Ichigo: The fuck did he say?**

**Me: I believe he said... (whips out book titled "Gagged Pervy-Lion Language For Dummies" and flips through it while wearing random glasses without lenses) Ah-HA! He said "I Can't Breathe!"**

**Ichigo: Kick him for me, Rukia.**

**Rukia: ...I'll pass.**

**Me: (rolls up sleeves) I'll do it!**

**Kon: (Starts hopping towards the door, only to be slide-tackled by me and promptly kicked a few times) **

**Me: THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO SNEAK INTO MY BATHROOM WHILE I'M TAKING A SHOWER! TRYING TO TAKE PICTURES? YOU PERVERT!**

**Ichigo: He did WHAT?**

**Rukia: I think she already mentioned that part.**

**Ichigo: (rolls eyes) I was just exclaiming in shock, Rukia.**

**Rukia: Ohhhh. I knew that.**

**Me: (Stomps over to get a slice of Supreme Cake and plop back onto the end of Ichigo's bed) Stupid pervert. Guess being in Peyton's shower with YOU back in the very first chapp was inspiring for Kon.**

**Ichigo: (Temple throb) I didn't MEAN TO!**

**Me: No one said you did! SOMEONE has a guilty and perverted conscience. ANYWAY. (Beams) I'd like to welcome back Jennifurball, who finally caught up with my story! She was one of my very first reviewers, along with Shadowgouf, and apparently stayed up all night catching up. Apparently she doesn't regret it one bit, and had to actually stop a few times because she was laughing so hard. **

**Ichigo: In other words, she's full of shit. Just like Syco and Penguin. MAN, are they full of SHIT. **

**Me: YOU WANT MORE BROKEN BONES?**

**Ichigo: I'M SORRY! **

**Me: Good boy. (Returns to being innocent) Well, anyways. She mentioned updating her drawing of Peyton, and i say go for it!**

**Rukia: In case the link didn't show, once she gives the OK, we'll put the link up. If you wanna see the drawing she already made, try going to j e n n i f u r b a l l . d e v i a n t a r t . c o m**

**Me: No spaces. You'll have to click "browse" on her albums, it's an old album titled under "gifts requests"!**

**Rukia: Now that all THAT'S over, enjoy!**

* * *

"_Peeeeyton _dear?"

"_Yeeees_, Nanaw?"

"Food sounds really good right now!"

"That's great, good for you!" She replied as she got her mac-and-cheese out of the microwave. Peyton was heading for her room when Nanaw simply smirked and whistled to get her attention.

Dangit, everyone knew she had wanted to whistle since she was three, but so far Peyton had failed EPICALLY whenever she tried.

"...What?"

"That mac-and-cheese looks quite delectable, Peyton."

"Does it now?"

"ALMOST as delectable as Ichigo's-"

"HERE YOU CAN HAVE IT! TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT!" Peyton shouted, handing it to her as quickly as possible before running into the kitchen, singing "La la la la LA LA LA LA la la LA la LA LAAAAA!"

She heard Nanaw chuckle to herself, obviously enjoying her mac-and-cheese. PEYTON'S mac-and-cheese!

"That's all it takes. Love and perverts really are the best combination, and Lord knows they ain't scarce in this town..."

Peyton's temple throbbed as she opened the cabinet to grab another packet. When she swung the door closed, who should be on the other side staring at her creepily but the "Hunk Muffin" Nanaw loved to talk about so damn much.

"JEEZ, WHAT THE HELL'S YOUR PROBLEM!"

"I WAS HUNGRY! US OLD PEOPLE EAT TOO!" Nanaw shouted in response from the other room with several more clinks of the fork stabbing into PEYTON'S mac-and-cheese.

Peyton sweatdropped and pointed at him, to which he pointed to the window. She sweatdropped again before muttering, "Alright, that's a bit extreme, but I won't complain."

"When it comes to scaring the crap outta you, nothing's too extreme," was his reply as he poked his head out of the doorway to look at her Nanaw.

Peyton promptly yanked him back by his shirt. "Are you _insane_?" She hissed.

He laughed. "You _really _don't want her to get a chance to talk to me, do you?"

"Hell to the NO! She's more of a pervert...A rather DESCRIPTIVE pervert...than you, me, and Kon COMBINED."

He watched with a sweatdrop as she savagely tore open the cheese packet with her teeth. "...Not to mention a clever mac-and-cheese stealer."

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "...Oh, the horror. She truly is a terrible person. We should alert the authorities!"

* * *

"Shut up!" Peyton blinked away fake tears, sniffling dramatically. "It was terrible! She just _launched _into a perverted statement, and I gave the bowl and fork to her out of desperation to save my sanity...And I never even got to take a SINGLE BITE of that food, and I put my heart and soul into making it! MY HEART AND SOUL, Ichigoooo!" She wailed, sobbing dramatically with her face against the counter.

Ichigo sweatdropped before sighing. "You had a _lot _of sweet tea today, didn't you?"

"You bet your hot orange ass I did!" She wailed.

"The hell are you talking to in there, child?" Nanaw demanded.

"NO ONE, NANAW, JUST MY IMAGINARY FRIENDS!"

"YOU STILL HAVE THOSE?"

"YOU THINK I CAN JUST _GET RID _OF BOB, AND JOE, AND EILEEN? YOU _MONSTER_!"

"SPEAKING OF _MONSTER_, HOW FAR HAVE YOU AND THAT _HUNK MUFFIN_-"

"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA _LAAAAA_!" She screeched, dancing spastically around the kitchen to make her listening skills even crappier.

Ichigo had watched the whole thing with plenty of sweatdrops, and he sweatdropped one more time before shaking his head and raiding her fridge.

"LA _LA _LA LA _LA_...I CAN'T _HEAR _YOOOU!"

"CHILD, YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO IGNORE YOUR ELDERS!"

"BUT _NANAW_, YOU DON'T LOOK A DAY OVER TWENTY-FIVE!"

"ALRIGHT, COME IN HERE SO I CAN BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA YOU, KID!"

"I'M SORRY, _WHAT_? I THINK I'M GROWING SENILE, I CAN'T _HEAR YOU_!"

"LINDSAY IS NOW _OFFICIALLY _MY FAVORITE GREAT-GRANDDAUGHTER!"

"I'M SORRY, WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? I CAN'T _HEAR YOU_! _WHAT_?"

_**BEEP! BEEP! BEE**_**-**

Peyton dove to push the button to open the microwave door, and though she made it on time, she fell face-first onto the floor.

Ichigo slowly shut the fridge, sweatdropping again before pulling her up with ease. "This obsession of yours with getting stuff out of the microwave before the third beep is getting REALLY dangerous."

* * *

"Only when I'm otherwise engaged," she replied matter-of-factly while mixing the powder into the bowl of epic deliciousness.

"Which is all the time."

"More or less," she agreed before taking a bite of the beloved food. "Mmmmmm-ow!" Her moment of total bliss was ruined by the realization that her nose hurt like hell.

Peyton poked it tentatively, hissing a curse as it stung. "Great. If that bruises, we're gonna have problems."

He rolled his eyes. "You'll still be beautiful, I promise."

"Not THAT, kiss-ass! I will bet you twenty-five bucks the first conclusion my dad and/or Seth draws is that it was YOU and you MUST BE PUNISHED."

"I'm not betting against that," he commented dully before kissing her nose. "Ouch!"

"That's what my mom always did," he said innocently, earning a smack in the arm. "You are the _furthest thing _from a mom, Ichigo. If you were, I might have to jump off a bridge."

"Are you saying I have to be a mom to kiss your boo-boos?"

"Say boo-boos again and you'll have a _huge _boo-boo. And yes, you do. Because EVERYONE KNOWS moms have special, magical healing powers. Anyone else kissing your injuries is just plain creepy."

He sweatdropped. "I'll let you have that one."

"OKAY, SERIOUSLY, WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO, BECAUSE I HEAR _REPLIES_!"

"NO ONE, NANAW, EAT THE STUPID MAC-AND-CHEESE YOU STOLE!"

"I DIDN'T _STEAL _IT, YOU _GAVE _IT TO ME!"

"MIGHT AS _WELL _HAVE STOLE IT! YOU USED YOUR JEDI-BRAIN-RAPE-MIND-TRICKS ON ME!"

"YOU CAN'T PROVE IT, AND THAT _WON'T _HOLD UP IN COURT!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****DAYS LATER...**_

Could she not watch tv with her family in peace? Either she was out with friends, out with Ichigo (neither of which were all too bad), or sleeping in her room.

And the ONE TIME she was actually spending time with them on a non-holiday occasion, Seth and dad ruined it.

AGAIN.

It started with a temple throb. Hers, to be exact. She was curled up between Miya and her dad, watching McLintock!, and was trying to ignore Seth's eyes on her.

"You know that's John Wayne's son?" Dad informed everyone, pointing to Dev Warren.

Lindsay shrugged. "Whoever he is, he sure knows how to wear those cowboy jeans."

The women of the household nodded, and dad actually tilted his head to the side to look for himself.

Nanaw cleared her throat. "But NOT AS WELL as that Hunk Muffin-"

"NO NANAW, _NOT _NOW!" Peyton shouted, making everyone jump and clap their hands over their ears.

Dad sweatdropped. "Do I even WANT to know who the 'Hunk Muffin' she was reffering to was?"

Miya rolled her eyes. "Hon, take a wild guess."

"No no _no_, I'm currently in _total _denial of my youngest daughter's love life, LA LA LA LA _LAAAA_! I CAN'T _HEAR _YOUUU!"

Peyton sweatdropped twice. _Well, gee...I had to get it from SOMEWHERE, I guess._

It was peaceful, comfortable even, until Seth returned to scrutinizing her from the other end of the long couch.

Finally, Seth's peering became quite obvious and comical-looking, causing her to snap "WHAT, Seth? WHAT WHAT WHAT?"

He stood up, looking down at her some more. "...Where'd you get that bruise on your nose?"

Dad immediately shot up and turned on the light, making everyone else hiss like retarded vampires and wail "My eyes, my eyes!", while Peyton wanted to smack Seth until he passed out.

Maybe she would after she wriggled her way out of this.

"Oh, I uh...faceplanted again," she mumbled.

Blinded by their unhealthy obsession with trying to find some serious flaw in Ichigo's boyfriend potential, they took her grumble to be a sign of lying instead of the embarrassment that it was.

Dad immediately got red in the face, pointing to the sky accusingly. "That boy's got a _lot _of nerve, smacking my daughter!"

* * *

"What the hell dad, he didn't even TOUCH ME!"

"Well, I wouldn't say THAT..."

"SHUT UP NANAW, NOW'S _NOT _THE TIME TO BE A CREEPY OLD PERV!"

"YOU'RE SO _MEAN_!"

Everyone let out a collective gulp as dad went down the hall. He wasn't doing what she THOUGHT he was doing, was he?

"Uhhhh, dad? Where're you going?" Lindsay asked fearfully.

"Grabbing Old Winona."

"NOOOO, NOT OLD WINONA!" Peyton wailed. Miya patted her shoulder awkwardly, having no clue what was so bad about Old Winona.

"...There there. I'm sure it's nothing to- PUT THAT DOWN, ARE YOU FRICKING _CRAZY_?" She shouted as she saw her fiancee click some ammo into a sawed-off shotgun.

"Yeah, nothing to worry about. GOOD CALL MIYA, GOOD CALL!" Peyton wailed.

Seth attempted to stop him from going outside. "Uhhhh, dad, maybe we should _think _about this-"

"You coming?" Dad asked, swiveling to look at him and accidentally poking him in the middle with the gun.

"I'LL GO WHEREEE-EVER YOU WILL GOO-OO!" Seth sang with an anxious laugh.

"I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS!" Peyton shouted in a last attempt to stop them.

Dad sweatdropped. "Who? Me for murdering that Kurosaki kid, or Seth for forever ruining my favorite song by The Calling?"

"BOTH!"

He just rolled his eyes and shut the door calmly. Peyton huffed and stood up before stomping to the door, slamming it behind her and shifting her aura so she could follow them without being seen.

The women all looked at each other before sprinting (Miya), diving (Lindsay), and hobbling (Nanaw) to the window.

"Do you see her?"

"No, as a matter of fact, I don't...It's almost like she..._disappeared_!"

Nanaw sighed to break the tense silence that followed Lindsay's observation. "...Well, ladies. I believe the shit has officially HIT the fan."

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

"Ichigo. Ichigo. ICHIGOOO!" Rukia barked in his ear, making him jump out of bed after nearly hitting the ceiling.

Kon was running around the room in circles, blubbering like an idiot. Rukia pointed frantically to the closet. "Hide!"

"What the hell for?" He asked groggily with a yawn.

"Mark Cullen's on his way here with a sawed-off shotgun, looking for you!"

"WHAT?"

Rukia planted her hands on her hips, tapping her tiny foot angrily. "Ichigo Kurosaki, did you get Peyton pregnant?"

"What the- HELL NO, WHAT THE HELL'S YOUR _PROBLEM_, RUKIA?"

Kon paused in his spazz-out to scoff in disbelief. "Oh, c'mon. We all know you MUST be hittin' that by now! _Speaking _of which, I have a _proposition _for you..." He said cheerfully, holding up a waterproof camera.

Ichigo's temple throbbed, and he grabbed Kon by the throat before tossing him casually out the window. "NO, you pervert!"

"Ichi-go-o-oo, you MONSTER!" He wailed before there was a loud _**BAM!**_, making Rukia cringe.

Ichigo just laughed and scratched his nose. "Ahhhhh. That just made my night."

"Alright, that's fantastic. Night made. Now hide!"

He rolled his eyes and stomped downstairs. "Like hell I'm gonna hide from my problems. Rukia, I'm offended. It's like you don't know me at all."

She sighed as he stomped towards certain death. "...I do. That's why I at least let you feel SOME kind of confidence before entering battle. I happen to know that for some sick reason, rejecting my brilliant plans always brings you some kind of self-confident pleasure."

"I don't know what the hell you just said, but I have a feeling you're absolutely right!" Was his reply from downstairs.

It was soon followed by a door swinging open with a slam. "ICHIGO KUROSAKI, WE NEED A _WORD_."

"YEAH, a WORD!" Seth repeated.

Rukia sighed and slid down the bannister to see what would happen.

* * *

Ichigo gulped at the sight of Mark, who looked like the sheer embodiment of the devil at that moment: red in the face, fire burning in his eyes, and looking all-over pissed off beyond belief.

HIS dad happened to be passed out on the couch. Some parental reinforcement HE was.

Not that Ichigo was surprised.

Seth pointed accusingly at him. "You hit my sister?"

"You hit Peyton?" Rukia demanded.

His eyes widened. "W-What? Of course not! Why the HELL would you think that?"

"She has a huge bruise on her nose!"

"...And so NATURALLY it's my fault!"

"Hey, I won't take no smack talk at a time like this!" Mark replied, his Southern accent thicker than ever, aiming the gun a little higher.

Ichigo gulped again and jumped back in a Spazzy Trying-To-Save-My-Ass Wet Noodle Dance. "S-S-S-Sorry, sir! I didn't mean it, sir! Please spare me, hear me out!"

"Kurosaki, I come close to killing you several times since I've heard of you. Saddens me I didn't."

He cocked his gun threateningly, Seth's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets, Rukia looked prepared to slip out of her gigai, and Ichigo fought the urge to scream like a little girl.

But before anything else could be said or done, Peyton burst through the door, hands outstretched dramatically.

"HOLD IT!"

* * *

If her dad looked like the sheer embodiment of the devil, she looked like the sheer embodiment of his demon daughter.

Her hair was flying everywhere, she was soaked from the rain outside, her eyes were flashing amber angrily, and not to mention she was wearing really thin The Flash pajamas. As in REALLY THIN. And wet, did we mention wet?

Now probably wasn't the best time for perverted thoughts, but...dammit he was full of them NOW!

She glared at her brother, who immediately laughed nervously before running to hide behind Ichigo.

Quite frankly, he didn't really blame the guy, and let him stay there.

Peyton stomped up in front of her dad, the shotgun poking her in the stomach. She didn't even really seem to mind, but Mark immediately spazzed and lowered his gun. "Dad, dad, dad. NOT ONLY did you nearly commit a huge crime, by KILLING MY BOYFRIEND, but...even worse...You made a McLintock reference, from when he's talking about not killing Douglass when they were younger and he had the chance! I mean, come ON! I'm never gonna be able to watch that again, thanks to you!"

Ichigo sweatdropped. _...Good to know what she'd regret the most if he went through with it...Her damn movie._

Mark pointed the gun angrily in Ichigo's direction, making both him and Seth yell in indgination. Well, Seth more-or-less screamed like a little girl.

"But that boy _hit you_!"

"No he didn't! I TOLD YOU, I _faceplanted _again! He was _there_! So was Nanaw, you can ask her!" She paused, then waved that off nervously. "Actually, don't ask her, she didn't know Ichigo was there. But it's still true!"

He stared at her for a really long time before sighing heavily. "At least I know I raised you right. I have a feeling if he had actually hit you, you would've kicked his ass."

"Yeah, I would've. Thanks for realizing that NOW."

"Hey, watch it!"

"You _so _owe me, dad. And Ichigo."

"I _knoooow_," he grumbled like a scolded kid, dropping the gun carelessly and making everyone jump and/or yell as it went off, blasting a hole in the wall.

Isshin shot straight up with a rather girly scream, trying to process what was going on. But then his eyes settled on Peyton and he ran to greet her.

"YAY! IT'S MY FAVORITE FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW! WHAT A WONDERFUL - IF NOT EXTREMELY LOUD AND TERRIFYING - SURPRISE!"

* * *

Everyone watched with either temple throbs (Ichigo), sweatdrops (Rukia and Seth), and question marks _**DING-DING-DING**__**ING**_ over her dad's head as he hugged Peyton, picking her off the floor as usual.

"Are you spending the night, Peyton? Oh, that would just make my _night_! Please say yes. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE _PLEEEEEASE_!"

Peyton looked at her dad, who sighed heavily before nodding. "Sure, why not? I guess I owe ya for trying to shoot your son."

Isshin turned, still hugging Peyton, to look at him. "...You did WHAT?" He made a thinking face, then suddenly gasped like a little kid who just saw Santa Clause. He started bouncing in place excitedly, making Peyton's head REALLY hurt.

"...I-Ichigo...Did you...PEYTON, ARE YOU WITH CHILD?"

"What the- NO!" She exclaimed.

"Did your dad at _least _catch you in the act or something? Oh please please PLEASE tell me that's what it was, so you could _still be _with child!"

Isshin dropped her just in time for Ichigo to kick him in the face. "IN YOUR DREAMS, OLD MAN! STOP BEING SUCH A PERVERT!"

Mark nodded with satisfaction at Ichigo's actions. "...I change my mind. I like you, Kurosaki."

"Thanks!" Ichigo and Isshin replied in unison, making Ichigo simply step on his father's gut with a temple throb.

"Not YOU!"

"WHY ARE YOU SO _CRUEL_?"

"BECAUSE I ALMOST GOT _SHOT_!"

* * *

Peyton's temple throbbed, and she sighed before opening the front door. "I'd leave now while you have the chance. It's only gonna go downhill from here."

Seth, who had been hiding behind the couch once Ichigo started moving around, jumped out and ran for the door, dragging dad with him.

"Dad, we need to make like Michael Jackson and just BEAT IT!"

"Son, calm the hell down! I forgot Old Winona!"

"Old Winona can just sit there and rest for a while, Peyton can bring it home tomorrow! Let's GOOOOO!"

"AHHH, SLOW DOWN, I'M SKIDDING DOWN THE STREET, YOU DUMBASS!"

"THAT'S BAD FOR MY EMOTIONAL GROWTH, DAD! I'M NOT A _DUMBASS_!"

Peyton just sighed, shook her head, and slammed the door shut. She turned to Rukia, who was watching Ichigo and Isshin battle it out as usual.

"Well, THAT was a close one."

Rukia nodded, violet eyes wide. "Too close. I was ready to draw my zanpakuto..."

Peyton's temple throbbed yet again as Ichigo and Isshin started rolling across the floor, wrestling each other, only to crash into the wall with the bullet hole in it.

Somehow, Isshin banged his toe against the bullet, and he yowled like a rabid coyote. "HOLY CRAP, THAT HURT LIKE HELL! IT'S STILL HOT!"

"GUYS!" Peyton barked, making them both freeze mid-fight; Isshin had been about to kick Ichigo in the gut, while he had been aiming for his face.

They stared up at her before smiling innocently, their teeth sparkling and everything.

She simply used her infamous big brown eyes, widening them innocently. "You GUYS, it's almost midnight! Do you REALLY wanna wake up Karin and Yuzu? You'll never get 'em back to sleep, and I'm sure Karin'll beat the crap out of you both."

* * *

"True, true," they said slowly, standing up.

"Besides, I'm tired anyways."

"That explains why you SUCKED just now, son," Isshin replied cheerfully. Peyton sighed and held Ichigo back by his shirt as he tried to attack his father, who leaped as far away as possible.

"Thank you, my wonderful futu- ...Screw it, you might as well just be my daughter!" He exclaimed in mid-air, spreading his arms out dramatically like a graceful swan or something.

Everyone sweatdropped, and Peyton smacked Ichigo upside the head before grinning at Isshin. "...Thank you?"

"NOT A PROBLEM, BELOVED NEW DAUGTHER!" He replied, moving to hug her, but Ichigo's growling made him think better of it and he ran to his room instead.

Peyton sweatdropped and looked at Ichigo questioningly. "What, are you my guard dog now?"

Rukia snorted a laugh, probably getting the same mental image Peyton was, and Ichigo huffed. "He's annoyed me enough today. Now I just wanna sleep."

Peyton smirked and bounded up the stairs. "That's a shame. I had so much energy, and I was SO hoping you could stay up just a little longer so we could have some..._fun_."

Rukia did a Spazzy Wet Noodle Dance while Ichigo's jaw hit the floor. "R-R-REALLY?" They shouted at once.

"Nope."

"DAMMIT!" Ichigo shouted, running after her. She tried to dive into Yuzu's room, only to be grabbed around the waist and carried into his instead. "No no no, down boy! Heel! Release!"

"Not a chance! You want fun? Let's have some fun!"

She started giggling like crazy, and Rukia watched the whole thing in awe, temple throbbing as she heard the door lock.

"...Brats."

_**

* * *

**_

_**AN ****HOUR LATER...**_

"That...Was the best...EVER," Ichigo said between pants.

Peyton nodded tiredly, wiping the sweat off her brow. "I can't feel...my toes..."

"Oh, I know...My thighs hurt like crazy..."

"We shouldn't have made so much noise, I'm sure the whole house heard us."

"Can't help it that we're so good at it, can we?"

"You're right, you're _so _right. Y'know, that was my first time."

"...Really?"

"Yep. Never done it before."

"I didn't know that! I would've shown off a whole lot more if I had..."

She attempted to pat his shoulder, but she just kind of ended up hitting him pathetically with the back of her hand. "No, you were great. I'm just so EXHAUSTED now..."

They looked at each other and started laughing, knowing how perverted this all sounded. "Wanna do it again?"

"Nah, too tired."

"Aw, c'mon!"

"...Fine. But ONLY one more time," she amended as Ichigo bounded up. Peyton reluctantly sat up as he powered up Karin's Wii they had stolen.

"I never knew Wii Fit could be THAT damn fun," she said slowly in disbelief.

Ichigo grinned. "Hey Peyton, honestly, was _this _what you had in mind about an hour ago?"

"Nope, I was thinking of sex."

* * *

"W-WHAT? SERIOUSLY?"

"Yep."

"YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME!"

"But you looked like you wanted to do this a lot more!" She said innocently.

His temple throbbed, and he wrapped his arms around her waist. "Half the people in the world. Half the people in the _world _are women. Why does it have to be YOU that stirs me?"

Peyton beamed. "You HAVE seen McLintock!"

"Damn straight. John Wayne's a genius."

"What makes you say that?"

"'Cause his line just helped me earn a makeout session from Peyton."

"...Oh, you're right! He IS pretty epic."

"Though Peyton totally owes Ichigo for letting him miss out on the activity SHE had in mind."

"That she does."


	66. It's Gettin' Hot In Here

**Me: Well, I'm back!**

**Ichigo: WE'RE back.**

**Me: Oh, so NOW we're a 'we'.**

**Rukia: We've always been a 'we'.**

**Me: Nu-UHHH! There's hardly EVER a time when all 3 of us are here! **

**Ichigo: Here, have some cake (throws cake slice at my head). Please. Before your PMS makes you kill us all.**

**Me: (catches cake slice at EXACTLY the right moment) I'm not ON my period, thanks, or else you'd be dead by now! (Suddenly totally innocent-looking) But thanks so much for the cake, pal!**

**Ichigo: (nudges Rukia) ...She scares me sometimes.**

**Me: Heey, guess what you guys? We officially have 300 reviews! YAY! **

**Ichigo: Applause, applause!**

**Rukia: (eye-twitch) Considering we have over 60 chapps, i think we earned it.**

**Me: Don't be so negatory! I bet if we provided a challenge, our fans would be loyal enough to send a review.**

**Ichigo: Chyeah right. Okay. If we can get 315 reviews by the next chapp, I'll be a believer.**

**Me: AND you'll have to let me have unlimited access to your cake stash, which we should probably give to the reviewers if that actually happens!**

**Rukia: You KNOW...If everybody who read this one chapter reviewed, we'd have well into 390.**

**Me: ...R-REALLY?**

**Ichigo: (reads story stats) Well, yeah, because at least 90 people read each chapp lately.**

**Me: That'd be AWESOMESAUCE! ...But yall don't have to comply with these greedy Soul Reapers's wishes.**

**Rukia and Ichigo: YES THEY DO!**

**Me: (eye-twitch) ...You two aren't really people persons, are ya?**

**Rukia: Whatever. Enjoy!**

**

* * *

**

At first, she thought she was dreaming, because there was no way it was real. But then she realized how perverted and/or random her dreams usually were, and felt like doing a happy dance.

Peyton Cullen had woken up before Ichigo Kurosaki. She had seriously DONE IT!

This was almost better than the look on Ichigo's face when she told him what he had missed out on last night.

She snorted a laugh at that one; that had been just PRICELESS.

Peyton sighed tiredly and stared at the ceiling, fanning herself. It was burning up in here. She glanced at Ichigo, who was still sprawled out with his head turned to the other side, then shrugged and slipped off her pajama pants.

Not like she didn't have any underwear on.

She tossed them away, grinning triumphantly as they landed perfectly on his desk chair. Less bending when she got up would be a good thing; that Wii Fit thing was a sadistic form of entertainment, for sure.

And she thought she was in _shape_!

Peyton closed her eyes and was JUST ABOUT to doze off when Ichigo rolled over. Normally this wouldn't be of any concern to her; she rolled around all the time in her sleep, and was used to him doing the same.

But considering one of his legs was stretched across both of hers, and one hand was plopped onto her stomach, it made her feel like giggling like crazy.

Maybe because it was so early in the morning? And people wondered why she slept in so late; if she woke up early, it was either like Armageddon and 2012 mushed together, or like she had drank 18 huge glasses of sweet tea.

Peyton shrugged and closed her eyes again, listening to the clangs that were usually associated with Yuzu in the kitchen.

Although she hated sleeping on her back.

About three minutes later, Ichigo started stirring. He didn't wake up, just decided NOW was a good time to stretch.

So NOT ONLY did his leg bend at the knee, which was a really bad idea at the moment, but his hand stretched up and outwards, so...

It's EXACTLY like what you're imagining right now.

* * *

Peyton felt her face heat up, wondering if she should just wait it out and risk erupting into nervous giggles or move his hand and face the wrath of Morning Ichigo.

She shuddered at the thought of the dark cloud that would be his mood, and decided to wait it out.

Only problem was that his leg moved back to its original spot, but his hand stayed RIGHT where it was.

"'But of COURSE," She hissed to herself as she tried to remove his hand. That only made him smack her hand away, muttering something about needing a fly swatter for all the mosquitos.

Great, her hand was now considered a mosquito?

That would do _wonders _for her self-esteem and weird imagination.

Almost as traumatizing as his HAND being RIGHT THERE.

"Ichigo."

"..."

"I-Ichigo."

"..."

"ICHIGO!"

That got a snore out of him, making her temple throb. She finally raised her hand, smacking the back of his head as hard as possible.

He promptly jerked his head up with an extra-loud snore, eyes still closed. "Mmm? What?"

She waited patiently (here meaning huffing loudly and glaring at him) as he blinked his eyes open, looking around groggily.

He then glared at Peyton. "The hell was _that _for?"

"I know this is hard for you, but take in your surroundings for a second. Try and figure out where all your body parts are."

He tried to figure out what she meant, and suddenly his eyes widened. "Holy crap!"

"Yes, THAT was the reaction I was looking fo-"

"Your dad actually SHOT ME?"

* * *

Her temple throbbed and she breathed in deeply, trying to resist the strong urge to strangle him with her bare hands.

Is this how SHE was in the morning?

"Hand. Remove it. As in NOW."

Ichigo squinted his eyes, making his Morning Thinking Face, tapping his finger in thought. Peyton turned even redder, prying his hand off her chest, and he spazzed out so bad he almost fell off his bed.

"HOLY CRAP! I HONESTLY HAD _NO _IDEA! KON DID IT, I SWEAR!"

Peyton just rolled her eyes and flipped over, glaring at the wall. "Sure. Blame it on the pervy lion. ...Jeez! Tapping my boob. The hell's WRONG with you?"

"I DIDN'T _KNOW_!"

"KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN BEFORE YOU WAKE EVERYONE UP!"

There was silence, and Peyton closed her eyes. She was in that blissful state where you're not yet asleep, but not awake, when his arm wound its way around her waist, making her jump in surprise.

"Dammit, Ichigo! I was almost asleep!"

"Yeah, well, maybe you should've thought about your need for sleep BEFORE you smacked me upside the head so hard."

She huffed, then felt her face heat up as his leg brushed against her bare one. "Weren't you wearing pants before?" He asked thoughtfully, running his hand along her leg.

"Y-Yeah, I just got hot." Thank GOD she shaved last night.

"Ohhhh." Then it got so quiet, that Peyton just KNEW he was formulating a plan. Sure enough, he sat up for a second, smirking.

"YOU KNOW...I'm hot too," He informed her as he slipped off his shirt.

_God...DAMMIT!_

* * *

Peyton actually had to turn away, before she did something stupid. "What's your point?"

"Oh, just thought I'd tell you," he replied casually, his voice still smug. He plopped back down, getting as close to her as possible, and quite honestly she wanted to make him pay for it.

He was MESSING with her! He, Ichigo Kurosaki, had the NERVE to mess with Peyton, the Queen of Messing With His Head!

How DARE he!

She would just have to mess right back. And she knew just the way to do that.

Peyton flipped over to look at him, completely avoiding looking anywhere near his chest. "Y'know, I'm _still _hot," she informed him calmly.

"Really now?"

"Yup. I should really fix that."

"Go right ahead."

Peyton pouted. "But I dunno what to _do_! I've already thrown off the covers, my pants are off, what else is _left_?"

And then, as if the idea hadn't been part of her master plan, she held up a finger. "Ah-HA! I'll just slip my shirt off!"

He promptly spazzed out as she sat up and fingered the hem of her shirt. "ARE YOU SERIOUSLY DOING IT? YOU'RE TAKING YOUR SHIRT OFF?"

"You see me lifting it?" She replied as she...well, lifted it, of course.

The look on his face was totally priceless; she was pretty sure he was sweating. Of course, then he saw she had a bra on, and his face fell a little.

Peyton flopped back against her pillow and sighed contentedly. "Ahhhh. Much better."

He stayed upright, as if frozen in place. She smiled at him. "Oh, what, you're getting up?"

He shook himself quickly before laying back down. "Not. A. Chance. You are NOT gonna win this, Peyton! I WILL mess with your head for ONCE!"

"Oh, THAT'S what we were doing?" She asked innocently, tracing one of his scars. She heard him gulp before regaining composure.

"...That...Is most DEFINITELY what we're doing."

"Oh. Well then, let's get to it."

* * *

Ichigo made a thinking face, playing with her bra strap thoughtfully. Now SHE was the one gulping. "Hmm...I wonder what I could do to make Peyton cave..."

He left her strap alone for the time being, instead lightly tracing patterns on her stomach. Holy crap, he was gonna make her die.

He was gonna make her DIE!

She couldn't take it, she couldn't take it, she couldn't even think of what she could possibly do to top that.

Actually, she couldn't really think at all. Funny how she was so hot, yet she had shivers running up and down her spine. All she could do was feel herself getting hotter and hotter, until she wondered if maybe her skin would burn him and she could win by default.

"Chyeah right, like I'm _that _lucky," she blurted out, making Ichigo laugh. "What the hell does THAT mean?"

Peyton turned a little red. "Oh, did I say that out loud?"

"A bit, yeah."

"Dammit. Fine, you win!"

"Awesomesauce!"

She waited a few moments, then looked up at him. "...Well? You can stop now, you won."

He smirked. "Why would I stop when I'm having so much fun?"

"Because Old Winona's still downstairs," she threatened with a glare.

Ichigo's smirk just grew. "You can't get to it if I keep you occupied up here, now, can you?"

"You WOULDN'T."

"Oh, I WOULD."

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"CRAP," she hissed.

"What?"

"I have to pee."

"Well, doesn't THAT sound familiar?" He grumbled, reluctantly letting go of her. She rolled her eyes and kissed his neck one more time. "You'll live without me for a second. My bladder, however, is another matter entirely."

"You might wanna at least put your shirt on," he pointed out as she was about to unlock his door.

Peyton nodded. "Right, right." She unlocked the door before walking to grab her shirt, and who should barge in but Matsumoto and Kon.

"Holy CRAP!" They shouted at the sight of them. They both turned bright red and started spazzing out. "I-IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!"

Kon grinned triumphantly. "I TOLD YOU he was hittin' that! All we needed was a little _push _to get our proof."

Matsumoto cocked a perfectly-plucked eyebrow skeptically. "And by 'a little _push'_, you mean setting the thermostat on high heat?"

"You did WHAT?" Ichigo shouted, already advancing towards him. Kon gulped, his paw flying up to his own neck fearfully before running out.

"PLEASE, ICHIGO, SPARE MEEEHEEHEEEEE!"

"NOT A DAMN CHANCE, YOU SNEAKY LITTLE PERVERT! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S GONNA DO TO OUR BILLS?"

Peyton sighed, shook her head, and slipped her pajamas back on. "...So THAT'S why I was in my bra and undies."

Matsumoto just about rolled on the floor with laughter, while Peyton tried to land some kicks on her.

_**

* * *

**_

_**THE ****NEXT DAY...**_

"...So NOT ONLY am I sore, but I missed out on hot hot sex! TWICE!" Ichigo whined.

Toshiro sweatdropped. "By hot hot sex, you DO mean engaging in-"

"YES, AND I DIDN'T GET TO! IT SU-U-UCKSSS!" He declared, banging his head against the desk repeatedly.

Renji patted his shoulder, nodding sympathetically. "That's it. Let it all out, dude."

Toshiro sighed and shook his head. "I fail to see why this should cause you so much inner pain, Ichigo."

Ichigo was about to explain, but Renji held up a hand. "I've got this."

"Thanks, I would rather wallow in self-pity," Ichigo wailed before resuming his face-desking.

Renji looked at Toshiro as if he were an idiot. "Do you not realize how...let's be honest...HOT Peyton is?"

"Of course I have."

"Alright, now imagine you're DATING her- wait, no...that's too weird. Alright, imagine you're dating Matsumoto, WHICH WE ALL KNOW YOU WOULD NEVER DO IN A MILLION YEARS, WE KNOW!" Renji added as Toshiro was about to say something along those lines.

Toshiro nodded his approval and let Renji continue.

* * *

"Alright. You spend an hour or so playing a really tiring game, like...soccer! Yes, soccer. And then you ask her what she had ORIGINALLY planned on doing, and it turns out to be the greatest pastime in the WORLD: getting laid. Now, how would you feel?"

Toshiro was about to reply, and Renji held up a hand. "Hold onto that feeling. Now, it's the next morning, and Matsumoto decides it's too hot for clothes. She strips down into her bra and underwear. You two start making out, and SUDDENLY...she has to pee. And then two IDIOTS barge in and interrupt, eradicating ANY CHANCE you might've had of going all the way for the day. ..._Now_, how do you feel?"

There was a pause as he stared into space thoughtfully, when suddenly Toshiro's lower lip started trembling. He then proceeded to wail "ICHIGO, I NOW UNDERSTAND YOUUUU!" before flopping down against his desk and sobbing dramatically.

Keigo walked over with a fresh sweatdrop, pointing to the two inconsolable dudes. "What the hell happened to _them_?"

Renji hesitated, then started tearing up. "...Awful. JUST AWFUL! NO MAN SHOULD HAVE HIS MANLY NEEDS PLAYED WITH LIKE THAAAAT!"

AAAAnd THAT'S when Peyton, Orihime, and Rukia walked in.

Peyton looked at the three guys, and Keigo sweatdropped some more. Matsumoto bounded in, totally oblivious, and walked up to them.

"...Guys? Are you alright?"

"HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH A THING TO MY MANLY NEEDS?" Toshiro demanded, lifting his head up for a moment before returning to wallowing in self-pity.

Matsumoto started trying to comfort her Captain. "Whatever I did, I humbly apologize, Captain! _Please _don't make me finish my paperwork!"

"DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE KIND OF PAIN A MANLY MAN IS IN WHEN HE'S DENIED HIS NEEDS?" Ichigo and Renji shouted, to which Toshiro choked out, "It didn't even happen to me, yet...yet..I FEEL SO BA-A-A-AAAAD!"

Keigo patted Peyton's shoulder sympathetically as she stared at Ichigo, The Wallowing Mess. "You're gonna have a LONG day."


	67. Breakin' Up Is Hard To Do

**Me: Well, we're back! With 314 reviews!**

**Ichigo: 315 woulda been better.**

**Me: (Throws fork at him) SHUT UP!**

**Ichigo: MY ARM!**

**Rukia: (Rolls eyes) Well, i guess we should stop the bleeding.**

**Me: Yeah, we should. Well, anyways, before we do that, i would like to thank you ALL for your cake contributions! I've got so many, i don't know what to do with them! ...Oh, wait, yeah i do. Eat them. AWESOMESAUCE!**

**Rukia: Enjoy, and keep the reviews coming! They make us laugh. A lot!**

* * *

"This is gonna be EPIC," Ichigo snickered as they continued switching the ballots.

Peyton nodded, grinning evilly. "Either an epic win, or epic fail. Either way, it's epic."

"AND epically stupid."

"Of course it is! Why else would we be doing it?"

"Point."

They slid the last of the ballots into the heart-covered box before exchanging a high-five and barrel-rolling away from the scene of the crime.

"Whaddaya think they'll do when they announce it?"

"Shit twice and die."

"Sounds fun!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"AAAAND NOW, for your HOURLY UPDATE, we have our winners for Karakura High's Cutest Couple," one of the senior girls announced via intercom.

Ichigo and Peyton tried to look as innocent as possible, but were practically bouncing in their seats.

"It looks like it's...Rangiku Matsumoto and Toshiro Hitsugaya! Coming up next hour, the winners for Most Likely To Cheat On Each Other!"

The two winners both froze, turning rather pale, eyes threatening to bulge out of their sockets while their jaws dropped to the floor.

"I SO saw that coming," Renji announced proudly. Rukia smacked him upside the head, to which he whimpered and rubbed the back of aforementioned head.

The bell rung, and as soon as they got into the hallway for their next period, Ichigo and Peyton jumped up to high-five each other.

"WE. ARE. _EPIC_!"

Toshiro and Matsumoto looked at each other, still frozen mid-step in their homeroom. "...How the hell could WE have won? Everyone's crazy-obsessed with Ichigo and Peyton's YouTube-famed relationship!"

Toshiro glared off into the distance. "There's only TWO PEOPLE who could be so gutsy, so STUPID, to switch the ballots."

They both clenched their fists and seethed, "Ichigo and Peyton."

_**

* * *

**_

_**AN ****HOUR LATER...**_

"AAAAND we're back for another update! The ballots have been casted, and the winners of Most Likely To Cheat On Each Other aaaare..."

They heard her unfold the card, then gasp. "Oh, NO WAY! It looks like you voted...Ichigo Kurosaki and Peyton Cullen! But that can't be right...Well, either way, next up are the winners for Most Likely To Have A One-Night Stand!"

Everyone gasped, and the two started laughing anxiously. "...Yeah...Like that'd happen..."

_**

* * *

**_

_**TEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"I KNEW you were checking her out!"

"Oh yeah? What about Jake!"

"What ABOUT Jake?"

"You've ALWAYS been checking him out!"

"I've NEVER checked him out!"

They soon started shouting on top of each other before yelling at the same time, "WHY DON'T YOU TRUST ME?"

The fellow roof-dwellers watched tensely as they glared at each other for the longest time before they both crossed their arms and huffed. "Guess that's it then."

"Guess it is."

And with that, they stomped off in different directions. Everyone was kind of stunned into silence, and Toshiro was the most stunned of all.

Matsumoto looked at him in disbelief. "...Did YOU switch those ballots?"

He waved her off anxiously. "N-No, of course not! That would be childish, Matsumoto."

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"You think they bought it?"

"I _know_ they bought it, did you see their faces? Toshiro's gonna crack by Valentine's Day, I bet you."

"Fifty bucks says it takes a little longer," Peyton declared.

They were currently crouched behind the short wall on the very, VERY far side of the school so no one could see them.

Ichigo grinned and they slapped hands. "You're so on."

She grinned back before poking her head up above the wall to make sure the coast was clear before starting to shift her aura.

"You ready to totally ignore me and be pissy for a couple days?" She asked.

He shrugged. "How hard could it be?"

_**

* * *

**_

_**THE ****NEXT DAY...**_

As soon as Peyton stepped inside, she was suddenly swarmed by Orihime, Matsumoto, Rukia, and girls she didn't even know.

"Are you ALRIGHT?" Three of them asked in perfect unison.

"Do you need anything?"

"You can have some of my lunch!" Orihime offered.

Peyton sweatdropped; they looked three times more upset than she did. Which was quite a bit, since she figured that's how she was supposed to look.

This wasn't her first breakup, but it WAS her first fake one.

"Uhhhh...I think being left alone sounds really nice at this time," she said quietly. The other girls left, while Matsumoto looked like she was gonna cry.

"Oh dammit...She's talking all normal! This is so ba-a-aaad!" She started bawling dramatically on Orihime's shoulder, making all three of them sweatdrop.

Orihime patted the Soul Reaper's shoulder awkwardly. "...Are you alright, Matsumoto?"

"DO I LOOK ALRIGHT?"

"You look like an idiot," Rukia replied dully, but Matsumoto just bawled even louder, her sobbing making her boobs threaten to pop right out of her school blouse.

"Even her Southern accent sounds saaaaad! Her and Ichigo are perfect for each otheeerrr, why, why, WHYYYY? CURSE YOU, KARAKURA HIGH'S BALLOT-CASTING SYSTEM, CURSE YOOOOUUU!" She wailed, shaking her fist at the ceiling before returning to sobbing uncontrollably.

_Jeez, she's gonna make ME wanna bawl.._

Rukia noticed Peyton's expression and sighed before planting a hand on her shoulder and leading her away from Matsumoto. "C'mon, let's go...Before she cries us a river."

* * *

"DUDE," Was all Keigo said when Ichigo walked in, dodging Matsumoto and Orihime, who were in tears in the doorway.

"The hell's going on around here?" He wondered, more than a little creeped out.

"You're an idiot, _that's _what's going on around here," Renji replied.

Ichigo huffed. "If this is about Peyton, it was mutual!"

"Mutual my ass!" Renji pointed to Peyton, who was currently being hugged by Rukia and was all sniffly and such.

_...Oh, she's good. She's REAL good._

He crossed his arms defiantly. "I'm not doing a THING until she apologizes."

The two Soul Reapers sweatdropped. "...Apologizes."

"Yep."

Chad was the first to speak. "You dumbass."

_**

* * *

**_

_**EIGHT ****HOURS LATER...**_

"...So THIS TIME, if we go around the back and slip through his window, we can use a pillow as a silencer and no one'll know!" Seth concluded as Peyton walked in.

As usual, she kicked off her shoes and let the puppy have at it. "Yeah, but who _else _would kill Ichigo?" Lindsay replied.

"Do you want me to list that chronologically or alphabetically?" Seth deadpanned.

Peyton sweatdropped and crept further into the den to see what the hell they were doing. Dad, Seth, and Lindsay were currently standing around a table with blueprints and weapons on it, looking very evil, to be honest.

"What...The HELL...Is y'all's _problem_?" She shouted, making them all jump. They hid their weapons behind their backs innocently, and Peyton sighed heavily before taking them out and dropping them on the floor one by one.

"Old Winona." _**THUD.**_

"A scythe." _**THUD.**_

"A medieval mace and noose." _**THUD.**_

She planted her hands on her hips, tapping her foot impatiently. Right on cue, they started bawling. "WE'RE SO-O-RRRYYYYY!"

Lindsay and Seth hugged her. "HE _DESERVES _A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH! NO ONE DUMPS OUR SISTER ON HER ASS LIKE THAAAAAT!"

She wriggled out of their grip angrily. "He didn't DUMP ME ON MY ASS, we broke up with each other! It was a _mutual _decision."

"Does that mean the Hunk Muffin's single?"

"SHUT UP NANAW!" They all shouted, making her jump and pout as she flipped through channels some more.

"...Just a question."

* * *

Peyton sighed and shook her head, and Lindsay hugged her again. "We're here for you, alright?"

Her temple throbbed. "We broke up, it's not like anyone _died_."

"Well..Yeah, but..."

"You said the L Word," Seth stage-whispered dramatically. "You've NEVER said the L Word before!"

Peyton watched with a sweatdrop slowly forming as Seth and Dad proceeded to sink to the ground and blubber.

"HE WAS THE FIRST TO PASS OUR GAME SHOW, DAAAAD! I THOUGHT THIS WOULD END BETTER!"

"I WAS JUST STARTING TO _LIKE _THE GUUUUUUY!"

Lindsay's temple throbbed, and she threw a plastic cup at them. "You GUYS, cut it out! Jeez, you'd think Y'ALL got dumped by Ichigo!"

"I did NOT get DUMPED!" Peyton shouted.

Seth paused in his blubbering to scoff and wave her off. "Oh, what EVER. It's all over school."

Her temple throbbed as she kicked him in the shin before stomping upstairs. "I DID NOT GET DUMPED, YOU JERKFACES!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

Ichigo got home to hear lots of bawling and sobbing. Thinking someone died, he ran in like a madman screaming "WHO DIED?".

Only to be greeted by a sea of tissue boxes, in the middle of which were Yuzu and his dad. Karin was watching with actual sympathy, shaking her head slowly.

Then they saw him in the doorway and turned all demonic. "_YOU_."

Yuzu teared up all over again. "HOW _COULD _YOU?"

"HOW COULD I WHAT?"

Dad was quite literally crying a river over by the couch. "You _dumped _her. YOU DUMPED MY NEW DAUGHTER? YOU _MONSTER_!"

"I'M YOUR _SON_, FOR CHRIST'S SAKES! Your REAL flesh and blood!"

"SHE WAS _GONNA _GIVE ME GRANDCHILDREN, BUT THAT WAS JUST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, _WASN'T _IT? YOU _HAD _TO RUIN IT! HOW _COULD _YOOOOUUUU?"

He returned to sobbing uncontrollably on Yuzu, who was also blubbering like an idiot. Karin folded her arms over her chest. "Ya know, I have to admit, I thought you guys would last..."

"FOREVERRRR!" Yuzu and Dad exclaimed between sobs.

Karin and Ichigo sweatdropped. "...Well..Yeah, I guess what they said."

He gestured for Karin to come closer, and he whispered the explanation in her ear. She nodded slowly, eyes wide. "Ohhhhh! That makes sense. Damn, I hope it works. Those two sure are taking long enough."

"I know. Tell Yuzu, before she kills herself," he said with a sweatdrop as she started coughing on her own tears.

"What about Dad?"

They exchanged a look, then waved each other off and went, "Naaaah!"

"Let him sweat a little."

"Yeah, that way he'll be so grateful when she comes back."

"Exactly!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**TWO ****HOURS LATER...**_

"Hey Peyton!"

She nearly fell off her bed, she jumped so hard. "Oh, hey Rukia."

"Listen, you're coming with me to Orihime's for a sleepover."

Peyton took the earphones out of her ears. "But it's a school night!"

They just looked at each other before laughing as if she had just told the world's funniest joke. "I'll have to ask my dad."

Rukia waved her off. "No need, I've GOT THIS."

They went downstairs, and Rukia played up her Innocent Schoolgirl act. "Hiya there, Mr. Cullen. Did you get a haircut? It looks GREAT!"

He waved her off all bashful-like. "Bahhh, Rukia! Call me Mark!"

"Okay, Mark! Say...Do you think it'll be alright if Peyton spends the night with me, Orihime, Tatsuki, and Matsumoto?"

Dad scratched his head thoughtfully. "Well...It IS a school night, Rukia."

Miya smacked his thigh halfheartedly. "C'mon, sweetie, they're 16."

Cue Rukia's tear-brimmed, wide violet eyes trick. "See..We just figured we should get her mind off of...You-Know-Who. Like good friends should, you know," she said, stage-whispering Ichigo's new title dramatically.

Dad's lower lip trembled. "That...Is the nicest thing I've ever heard! Please, take her!" Miya sweatdropped and patted his arm comfortingly, turning to wink at the girls as they left.

"Nice job," she mouthed. The two teens gave her thumbs-up before dashing out the door.

* * *

Once they got outside, Peyton laughed. "Nice one, Rukia! That bit about getting my mind off Ichigo was priceless!"

"Well, I wasn't lying," she said matter-of-factly.

Peyton gave her a weird look. "Whaddaya mean?"

"We have...Well, Matsumoto called it The Breakup Heaven. We're gonna cheer you up!"

"...WHAT?"

Rukia sighed and tugged her along towards Orihime's. "Aw, c'mon. We know you _must _be torn up inside about it. Or AT LEAST pissed off. We have the solutions!"

"But Rukiaaaa..."

"We have ice cream."

Peyton eyed her suspiciously. "What KIND of ice cream?"

"Your favorite, of course. Half Baked, from Ben & Jerry's."

"...R-Really?"

"I said it, didn't I?"

Peyton nodded quickly and dragged her to Orihime's. "I THINK I CAN STAY A WHILE!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTY ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"And he ALWAYS has to be right! Not just HAS TO BE, he always flipping IS. How ANNOYING is that?" Peyton ranted, steadily shoveling in her favorite ice cream like a crazy starved person.

Tatsuki nodded. "Oh, I know! He's _always _been like that. Dumbass suddenly turns the tables and gets smart on you, at the WORST possible time."

"EXACTLY!" Rukia exclaimed.

Peyton held her spoon mid-way to her mouth thoughtfully. "Ya know...I just discovered a shocking revelation..."

"WHAT?" Everyone asked in an excited whisper.

She squeezed her eyes shut in horror. "His hair looks like mac-and-cheese."

* * *

"...WHAT?" Everyone repeated, only this time it was in disbelief.

Orihime made a thinking noise. "Mac-and-cheese."

Peyton's lower lip trembled. "Yes. Mac-and-cheese! The really, REALLY cheesy kind! And it happens to be my favorite food, so now...every time I have mac-and-cheese..." She trailed off, bawling against the arm of the chair.

Everyone sweatdropped, and Orihime put an arm around her shoulders. "It'll be okay."

"OKAY? HE'S STOLEN THE JOY OF EATING MY FAVORITE FOOD! HE'S STOLEN MY INNOCENCE AND PURITY! HOW IS THIS OKAY?" She wailed.

She was actually starting to think as if they had broken up for real.

"Jeez, you'd think he had been her _first time _or something the way she's talking," Matsumoto whispered in disbelief.

"NOT YET, BUT I WAS WORKING ON IIIIITTTT!" She wailed, bawling even more. "NOW I'LL NEVER EVER _EVER _GET TO SAY I TAPPED THAT!"

Rukia's temple throbbed as she shoved the spoon into her mouth. "FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS CHAPPY, EAT YOUR DAMN ICE CREAM BEFORE IT MELTS SO WE CAN HAVE _ONE PERSON _NOT BAWL LIKE A MORON TODAY!"

There was a silence as Rukia panted angrily from her outburst, and Tatsuki sweatdropped. "...Damn, Rukia."

* * *

"It's true! I have yet to see one person NOT bawl today over your breakup." She paused to shudder, and Peyton's shoveling of the ice cream slowed a little.

"You should've seen Isshin and Yuzu Kurosaki. They looked about to die or something."

That got her lower lip going all over again, and she had the guiltiest look on her face. "...W-WHAAAT? ARE THEY OKAAAY?"

Tatsuki threw a DVD at Rukia's head, but sadly she stood up at the last second to hop onto Peyton's chair and comfort her. "Nice GOING, Rukia!"

"I KILLED THE KUROSAKIS! OHMIGOD, I'M SUCH A HORRIBLE PERSON! THIS IS ALL ICHIGO'S FAAAULT!" She wailed, sobbing uncontrollably.

Matsumoto stood up, hands on her hips, and whistled as loudly as possible. "YOU GUYS!"

Everyone shut up, and the room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

..Unless it dropped when Peyton hiccuped real loudly.

"This is NOT how this is supposed to go! First, we get the ice cream. Then we watch romantic movies. Then we gain about ten pounds from all the chocolates and popcorn that're waiting in Orihime's kitchen. All the while bashing Ichigo and how STUPID he must be to pass up someone as incredible, beautiful, funny, caring, downright sexy, and _amazing _as Peyton Alicia Cullen!" She declared.

* * *

Peyton sniffled. "...That's gotta be the nicest thing I've ever heard in my life!"

Matsumoto made a whiny noise. "Please don't start crying again."

She laughed and hiccuped again. "I won't, I promise."

"I know you like horror movies, but do you think we could watch something romantic first?" Orihime asked timidly.

Everyone looked at her, and she shrugged. "It puts people in good moods!"

Matsumoto held up a case cheerfully. "The Notebook?"

They all looked at Peyton, who smiled hesitantly. "The Notebook."

She was bombarded with a hug by Matsumoto as Tatsuki put it in the DVD player. "Yay!"

They all piled up into Peyton's chair, and miraculously fit. "I've never seen this before."

"NEVER, TATSUKI?" Orihime and Matsumoto exclaimed.

"Neither have I," Peyton replied with interest as Rukia pressed play. The short Soul Reaper scoffed. "Jeez, even _I've _seen THE NOTEBOOK."

"Is it sad?"

The other girls looked at each other before waving off Tatsuki and Peyton. "Nooo, of course not!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

Ichigo heard a huge bang against his window, followed by fizzing. "The hell? Kon, was that you?" He shouted, heading for his window.

Then he remembered Kon had gone with Rukia and rolled his eyes at the thought of what they could be doing to poor Peyton right now.

He opened his window to see Renji, Chad, Toshiro, and...Byakuya?_ The hell's going on?_

"...Why're you throwing stuff at my window?" Ichigo asked them.

Toshiro and Renji used their brute strength (here meaning using their Flash-Steps and totally cheating) to pop up on the roof by his window.

Chad climbed up with ease, while Byakuya stayed down below. "Have you seen my sister?" He shouted up to Ichigo, who pointed towards Orihime's house.

"She's up with the other girls at Orihime Inoue's house."

"...Ah. Thank you."

Ichigo was about to say something, but then Renji held up a hand. "Just wait for it."

Byakuya got about halfway down the street when he suddenly turned around. "Er...Where would I _find _Orihime's house?"

Ichigo sweatdropped before replying, "Go all the way down, take a right, take two lefts, then go straight 'till you reach the next to last house. Should be filled with either girls crying, or lots of junkfood on the floor."

"Right, right. Thank you."

They waited until he was out of sight before snickering. "Soul Reapers should really invest in some GPS," Ichigo commented.

Renji tossed something at him, and he caught it spastically. "You could use a beer, my friend."

* * *

Ichigo shrugged and popped the top. "I thought this whole Post-Breakup comforting thing was for chicks."

"It is. We're here to harass you about your stupidity," was Toshiro's lovely and heartfelt reply.

Ichigo's temple throbbed. "How many damn times do I have to say it? It..was..MUTUAL!"

Renji rolled his eyes and took a swig of his own beer at the same time Ichigo drank some of his. "We heard you the _first _time you tried to sell us that crap. Why'd you guys break up, anyways?"

He hesitated before eventually sighing tiredly. "I don't even know. We just did."

Chad shook his head. "...Well, THAT'S a bad reason."

"Was the sex bad or something?" Renji asked.

Ichigo nearly fell off the roof. "WHAT?"

"Oh, c'mon. I've heard you two have been caught in the act, like, five times already. So what, were you bad in bed?"

_Why does everyone assume I'M the one who would be bad in bed? ...Wait, stupid question._ "We haven't done it! Do you not remember the other day, when I informed you I missed out TWICE?"

Toshiro's lower lip trembled at the very thought. "Never speak of that day again.."

They all clinked their beer cans together on that one. "Agreed!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

"...You guys lied right through your teeth!" Peyton declared, wiping at her eyes. Tatsuki blew her nose, looking very sad and defeated. "This was the first time I cried during a movie, EVER," she informed everyone.

Peyton laughed. "You wanna know what's worse than that?"

"What?"

"The only other time I've cried during a movie was during Evita."

"A musical?" Everyone asked.

She huffed defensively. "So what? It was still a sad ending!"

Matsumoto rolled her eyes, and Rukia rifled through her bag. "We need chocolate. I could've _sworn _I brought some more over here with me...THE HELL!" She screeched suddenly.

Everyone stared with sweatdrops as she pulled out Kon, his mouth smeared with chocolate. At least, everyone HOPED it was chocolate.

He ran on his stubby little legs mid-air before zooming for Peyton, hugging her tightly and burying his face against her.

"PEYTON, I'M SO SORRY! I _NEVER _SAW THIS COMING! ICHIGO'S SUCH A MORON!" He wailed into her chest, making everyone crack up.

"Kon, I appreciate your concern, but _please _get off my chest."

* * *

He plopped into her lap as if he belonged there, making her temple throb and everyone giggle even more. "Right, my bad! So, what're we watching next?"

"Dunno," Tatsuki replied, totally unconcerned with the talking stuffed animal as she walked into Orihime's kitchen. "I'll get the junk food."

Matsumoto sighed thoughtfully. "Why can't _all guys _be like Noah?"

"What, the guy in the movie?"

"No, Peyton, the half-naked centaur in Tatsuki's backyard. YES THE GUY IN THE MOVIE!" Rukia replied, making the other two laugh.

"If all guys were like Noah, you wouldn't have anyone to make fun of anymore," Kon pointed out, currently drumming Peyton's thighs like bongos.

"That's true. And Ichigo Kurosaki has always been such an easy target," Tatsuki replied from in the kitchen amidst lots of banging.

Peyton smirked. "True that. Hey, did he ever tell you guys about the _one time _he went to camp when he was little?"

Everyone crowded around eagerly, and Tatsuki poked her head out of the kitchen with interest. "NO!"

* * *

Peyton laughed maniacally before beginning. "Okay, so this one night, he was nearly scared to death because there were lots of wild animals around, right?"

She paused to eat some more ice cream.

"Well, he heard this thumping right next to his bunk bed, so he hid under the covers. Y'know, the international solution to things scaring the crap outta you in the middle of the night."

"Uh-huh!"

"Okay, so it TURNS OUT that it was a ghost, and it slid through the covers to talk to him! Scared him so bad that he-"

"Wet himself?"

"Threw up?"

"HAD A STROKE!" Kon declared, to which everyone sweatdropped. "Nooo. He farted really loud for a good five minutes, waking up not only his cabin but the cabins next door. He never went to camp again," she concluded mysteriously.

Everyone promptly erupted into laughter, and Peyton grinned before eating some more ice cream.

_I finally got payback for that tampon thing! Because that spider just wasn't enough...Maybe fake breakups aren't so bad after all._

"FINALLY, I found you, Rukia." Byakuya declared as he simply swung open the door like it was no big thing.

Everyone sweatdropped as Matsumoto cleared her throat and simply said, "Byakuya...No offense, but you're not part of the Post-Breakup Process. The last thing Peyton needs is YOU here!"


	68. Cruel And Unusual Punishments

**Me: We're back!**

**Ichigo: Enh.**

**Rukia: (rolls eyes) Oh, how we missed your enthusiasm.**

**Ichigo: (Points to multiple casts and slings before shoving half a cake into his mouth, making crumbs fly everywhere as he yells) WHAT DO I HAVE TO BE ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT?**

**Me: The fact that we're gonna be posting the 69th chapp in ONE HOUR OR SO! YAY!**

**Rukia: I can't wait to see how it turns out (laughs maniacally)**

**Ichigo: (Moping) Better be pretty damn good, considering you used it against me so i couldn't get away with pulling violent-yet-hilarious shit on you!**

**Me: It's called blackmail. And i LOVE blackmail. Oh, and thanks everybody for cake contributions, we are utterly LOVING them! Also, i'd like to thank first-time reviewers, because it's always cool to know you take all that time to catch up with my fic! **

**Ichigo: ..You are one sappy bitch, you know that?**

**Me: (Throws gauntlet) YOU TAKE THAT BACK, OR I'LL PERSONALLY SEE TO IT THAT YOU NEVER HAVE HOT HOT SEX! EVEEERRRRR! AND YOU'LL GET MORE CAKES FROM "IM A KITTY THAT LUVZ SWEETS" THAT SAY HOW SORRY THEY ARE YOU MISSED OUT! SO NEH!**

**Ichigo: ...You...You MONSTER!**

**Rukia: (Eye-twitch as we start shouting and throwing objects) ...Enjoy.**

* * *

Rukia's temple throbbed menacingly. "Captain Kuchiki, WHAT are you doing here?"

He sniffed importantly. "I was checking on your whereabouts. My..._sources_ mentioned a scandalous relationship between you and Lieutenant Abarai a while back, and I like to keep my information..._fresh_."

Everyone but Rukia looked downright confused. Peyton scratched her head thoughtfully. "...Sources? Who're they?"

"A very credible writing source," was all he said. Rukia looked like she wanted to either strangle him, jump off a bridge, or both.

"...Well, as you can see, my intentions are very clear as of right now, Byakuya. I'm helping Peyton through her breakup."

His eyebrows shot up at that. "Breakup?"

Matsumoto started tearing up again. "Her and Ichigo broke up! Isn't it awful?"

He scoffed. "There is absolutely NO WAY that's true."

"Believe it," Peyton replied dully. "Have you not recently checked your SOURCE? I'm sure there's something about it on there," Rukia added in a very menacing tone.

"So...It IS true, then. You and Kurosaki are no longer?"

"Nope. No longer," Peyton replied, even adding a little sniffle.

Everyone's jaws dropped as his lower lip tembled, and he quickly covered his mouth with a fake cough. "...I must take my leave."

And with that he power-walked out of Orihime's house, leaving many, _many _sweatdrops behind. Peyton was the first to speak.

"...Alright, I think it's time to watch a movie with lots of blood, gore, and good old fashioned violence."

There were noises of agreement as they rifled through Tatsuki's horror collection she brought with her.

_**

* * *

**_

_**THE ****NEXT DAY...**_

All five girls came in the next morning looking very tired and dissheveled, yet ultimately in pretty good moods.

"It must SUCK to be single...on _Valentine's Day_," Orihime mused, making Peyton's temple throb.

"Thanks Orihime. For that."

Chizuru came up to her out of nowhere and hugged her tightly. "Awww, you poor thing! I just found out today, I'm _so_ sorry I skipped school yesterday! Ichigo doesn't deserve you!"

Tatsuki's temple throbbed as she started stroking Peyton's hair. "Men are overrated, Peyton! This is probably the best thing that could've happened to you!"

Tatsuki and Rukia both pried Peyton out of Chizuru's grip, making her pout at them. "I was just trying to help a friend out."

"Switching teams is the LAST thing she wants to do right now!" Tatsuki replied, shooing Chizuru away.

They watched with sweatdrops as Chizuru handed Peyton a slip of paper. "Well, if you need someone to talk to...I stay up _extra _late. I'm also very flexible. ...And I'm sure my schedule is, too," she purred before strolling away.

Peyton sweatdropped some more as she adjusted her school blouse, which had MYSTERIOUSLY been hitched up her hip on one side.

"...She should really come out of the closet soon, I'm sure it's _crushing _her inside to hide such a secret."

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

"So...You're saying Uryu and the Handicrafts Club went to some unknown destination during 4th period, and never came back?" Peyton clarified.

"That would explain where Orihime went off to," Seth said thoughtfully.

"Wait, how'd YOU figure that out?" Rukia asked Lindsay, to which she laughed anxiously. "I was, uh...I was gonna ask Uryu to help me with some alterations for my bridesmaids dress."

"What kind of alterations?"

"Oh, you know...Just make it a little longer."

Peyton sweatdropped. "It's too small for your boobs, isn't it."

"Yep!"

Rukia's temple throbbed as she glanced down at her own chest, which was...let's be honest, not as well-indowed. Peyton patted her shoulder and nodded sadly. "I feel your pain."

Rukia's temple throbbed again. "Not hardly, at least you HAVE some."

"I didn't always! They'll grow, Rukia, I promise."

Seth sweatdropped. "If y'all are done with your sentimental chick moment, I'd REALLY like to find out what Uryu's up to."

Peyton smirked. "What, you think he's gonna steal your woman?"

He held up a finger to argue, but then huffed and stomped off. "Just because YOU got dumped on your ass, doesn't mean you have to make everyone else's relationships suck!"

"I DIDN'T GET DUMPED, YOU JERK!"

"IT WAS MUTUAL!" Ichigo added, scaring the crap out of Peyton and Lindsay. "WHEN THE HELL DID _YOU_ GET HERE?"

Rukia sweatdropped. "Jeez Peyton, you'd think by now you'd be able to sense his reiatsu."

Lindsay gave them confused looks. "Reiatsu? What's that?"

Peyton huffed moodily, feeling very stupid by now. "...I'm just used to it always lingering around nearby, I don't usually notice it. Now, IF YOU'RE ALL READY, I'm kinda curious as to what the hell Ishihackaloogie's been up to!"

With that, she stomped off, and Lindsay still looked kind of confused. She gave Ichigo and Rukia strange looks. "...Is it a body spray?"

Ichigo's temple throbbed, and he just shook his head before following Peyton and her brother. Lindsay folded her arms over her middle and pouted. "Just a question."

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****HOURS LATER...**_

"Hey Peyton."

"Hmm?"

"I've thought of a word that rhymes with orange," Ichigo stated smugly.

She eyed him suspiciously, careful to dodge the potholes on Karakura's oldest street. "You mean BESIDES Schmorange?"

"Yep."

Rukia cocked an eyebrow and whispered to Lindsay and Renji, "This isn't _quite _the Post-Breakup behavior I expected..."

Renji shrugged. "They ARE practically best friends...Who like to torture each other for fun."

Lindsay nodded. "I think that without Ichigo, Peyton wouldn't have her rage fix for the day. And then...we would all be royally SCREWED, my friends."

Matsumoto sighed heavily, shaking her head sadly. "Whoever switched those ballots caused the world's most dynamic duo to split apart, and for that, they should suffer a horrible death."

Toshiro scratched his neck anxiously, which went unnoticed by everyone but Lindsay. She watched in amusement as he reacted to the other statements.

"Perhaps a beating, followed by exile?" Rukia suggested. Cue a nervous cough from Toshiro.

Renji waved her off. "Nahhh, they made Ichigo all depressed. So THEREFORE, since us dudes had to make him UN-depressed, whoever it was should be stoned to death."

"An execution sounds even better," Matsumoto replied. Cue a gulp from Toshiro.

"Like what?" Lindsay asked, eyeing the white-haired underclassman suspiciously.

"Hmmm..." The other three muttered, stroking their chins in thought.

Renji held up a finger. "Ah-HA! We should reassemble the Sokyoku!" Toshiro was turning paler and paler by the second, and Lindsay cocked an eyebrow.

"The Sokyoku?"

* * *

Ichigo and Peyton paused their argument over whether or not "Door hinge" rhymed with "Orange" to wait for the others.

"Yeah, what's that?" Peyton chimed. Ichigo gulped. "Nothing you wanna know about." Toshiro nodded grimly, and she huffed. "If I didn't wanna know about it, I wouldn't have asked, would I?"

"Because I couldn't POSSIBLY know what I'm talking about," Ichigo replied moodily.

"I think I know MYSELF better than YOU."

"Oh really? Ask me anything, I bet I know it."

"Alright. Hmmm...What...was the worst injury I've ever gotten BEFORE I met you?"

"Either the time when you busted your head open sledding down the stairs, trying to recreate one of your favorite scenes from Home Alone...OR the time your grandma ran over your foot and broke it in three places."

Lindsay laughed to herself. "Ha! I remember that...I still can't believe you didn't listen to her."

"JUST because she SAID she would run me over if I didn't hurry up and get in the car, DOESN'T mean she would actually have the guts to do it! I mean, how was _I _supposed to know?"

Ichigo smirked. "She's related to _you_, isn't she? You'd run me over on my foot in a _heartbeat _if I didn't heed your warning."

_**BAM!**_

"DAMMIT, PEYTON, THE SEWER COVER'S SUPPOSED TO _STAY _ON TOP OF THE HOLE!"

"NO ONE WAS WALKING THERE, I CAN PUT IT BACK!"

Renji laughed rather childishly, pointing at the sewer cover. "Hey! Now every time I pass this street, I can point out to everyone Ichigo's blood!"

Ichigo simply huffed, while Peyton giggled, making Matsumoto's eyebrows shoot up.

* * *

"So what's a Sokyoku?"

Everyone looked at Rukia for whatever reason, and her expression got all absent-looking.

"It's a form of execution usually reserved for those with extremely strong spiritual powers, namely Soul Reaper captains. A giant halberd that utterly destroys a soul on contact."

Toshiro was walking even slower now, and Peyton slowed down to walk beside him. Quite frankly, she was worried.

He DID devour a ton of cafeteria food today. If that wasn't enough to make one sick, she didn't know what was.

Rukia sighed before continuing. "When released, Sokyoku takes on the form of a phoenix, its true form. It's called the Kikoo. The Kikoo has the destructive power of _one million_ zanpakuto, and that power is multiplied by a factor of 10 at the _moment _it pierces through the one unfortunate enough to face it."

Peyton started turning pale herself, shuddering at the thought of one million of Ichigo's blades stabbing through someone with ten times more of Matsumoto's, Toshiro's, Rukia's, and Renji's.

No wonder everyone was so grim.

Well, minus Matsumoto as she nodded brightly. "Well, that sounds a bit appropriate."

Renji squeezed Rukia's shoulder, snapping her out of her sudden serious mood. She sucked in a breath before looking between Peyton and Ichigo thoughtfully.

"Actually...I think they should reintroduce the Spirit-Sealing Pit for this."

Toshiro then keeled over, making everyone sweatdrop.

* * *

Peyton and Matsumoto crouched on both sides of him, fanning him, while Ichigo started flat-out laughing uncontrollably.

"What's the Spirit-Sealing Pit?" Lindsay asked slowly, trying to understand what the hell they were talking about and how the hell Peyton more-or-less understood it.

"An ancient form of execution in which criminals are thrown into a pit walled with sekki sekki rock."

Rukia noticed Lindsay wasn't the only one wondering what the hell kind of rock that was, and sighed impatiently at the same time they revived Toshiro and he slowly sat up, Matsumoto patting his back worriedly.

"A type of stone that absorbs spiritual power, preventing those nearby from using their powers. Hollows are then thrown into the pit with the criminals as the means of execution."

A collective shudder passed throughout the group, and Toshiro fainted again, making Peyton's temple throb.

Lindsay sighed and shook her head. "I don't understand what Hollows, or Soul Reapers, or even what a HALBERD is!"

"Let's say Hollows are like ferocious wild animals, Soul Reapers are the police from our old town, and as for a halberd...It's a two-handed weapon consisting of an axe-like blade topped with a spike mounted on a long shaft."

Poor Lindsay looked even more confused with her description of a halberd, to which Ichigo tapped her shoulder. "In normal-people terms, it's an upside-down battle axe that's extremely creepy and painful."

"Ohhh! Why didn't you just say THAT, Rukia?"

Rukia's temple throbbed, and she stomped off. "I can't help it that I have a much vaster intellect. Where the hell's Uryu Ishida?"

"AND my girlfriend," Seth added moodily, making Peyton chuckle to herself like the good little sister she was.

They soon got their answer as they turned the corner (Peyton supporting Toshiro on one side, much to her amusement) and Seth ran right into...

"HOLY SHIT, IT'S EDWARD!" Lindsay and Matsumoto squealed.

* * *

Toshiro huffed in disgust at his Lieutenant's excitement and quite obvious drooling over the Twilight-Character-Look-A-Like.

He looked at them all before asking slowly, "Uhhh...Are you guys here for the convention?"

"Convention?" Everyone asked as if HE were the odd one.

Edward-Wannabe jerked his thumb behind him to the massive building, which they could now hear pulsating in time with some song.

"Yeah. Karakura Town's first annual Twilight Convention?"

Peyton and Ichigo exchanged looks that clearly read "HOLY CRAP, WE SHOULD'VE KNOWN!".

"And...WHO orchestrated such an amazing event in Karakura history?" Peyton asked suspiciously.

"Oh. The Handicrafts Club from the high school. That one guy's pretty epic with his needle."

Ichigo and Renji exchanged smirks. "Oh, so you've seen his _needle_, eh?"

Edward-Wannabe's face lighted up a little. "Oh, yeah! It's pretty long compared to your average needle."

"Is it..._pointy_, too?" Peyton asked, obviously not trying to roll on the ground with laughter like Renji and Ichigo and Seth were currently doing.

"Extremely. Pretty sharp. He says he has to be careful not to move his fingers against it too quickly, or else it could penetrate in the wrong area at the wrong time."

"Hahaha! Yeah, uh...I'm sure he has to be quick about it, before his dad comes in to see why he's been in there for so long," Seth replied from the ground.

_That _got Peyton down on the ground laughing, and Renji added, "Yeah! And why his dad's favorite magazine's gone!"

Edward-Wannabe just stared at them with a sweatdrop, Lindsay and Matsumoto's temples throbbing menacingly as they rolled around with laughter some more.

Rukia sighed and shook her head. "You'll have to excuse them. They're Karakura's most perverted citizens."

Edward-Wannabe just shrugged and headed a little ways off to take his smoking break, while the laughing idiots slowly recovered.

Matsumoto and Lindsay kicking them until they stopped sure helped speed up the process.

_**

* * *

**_

_**SEVEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"My hand hurts, let's hurry up and get this over with," Peyton whined as she and Ichigo attempted to find Toshiro amidst the crowd of convention-goers.

Which was not-so-surprisingly huge.

She had been giving autographs to people all night who either: a) recognized them from the YouTube video, b) wanted to try and convince people she was the newest addition to the Cullen Clan, or c) both.

Ichigo yawned. "I'm just ready to get this over with so I can _sleep_."

"I hear that. The Post-Breakup Heaven Orihime and Matsumoto set up for me last night did NOT have sleeping involved."

"Didn't Kon crash that?"

"Nope, he just ate all the chocolate in Rukia's bag."

"Did Byakuya ever get there?"

"You knew about that?"

"I gave him directions," he announced with a laugh, and she laughed too at the thought of Byakuya _needing _directions.

"Yeah, he showed up. Mentioned something about hearing from his 'credible writing sources' about Rukia and Renji a while back, and ever since, he likes to 'keep his information fresh'."

Ichigo started laughing for a good three minutes straight, but then he spotted Toshiro and exchanged a sneaky grin with Peyton.

They crept up behind him, ready to grab the short Captain and run. "But HOW can a vampire not EVER attack his lover during her menstrual cycle, as my friend Peyton has pointed out many times?" Toshiro was asking a girl dressed up as Bella, who sweatdropped as he was then grabbed by Peyton and Ichigo.

She grabbed his arms, he grabbed his legs, and they zoomed over to interrogate him behind the stage curtains, which they guessed was set up for some kind of godawful reenactment.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FOUR ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"We're not happy, Toshiro."

They currently had him tied to a wooden chair, pacing around him. "NOT happy," Peyton repeated, hands folded behind her back ominously.

"What the hell's WRONG with you two?" Toshiro hissed, struggling against the ropes.

Ichigo stroked his fake Italian moustache thoughtfully. "_Someone _switched the ballots, causing us to break up. We don't like being broken up, DO WE Peyton?"

"No, Ichigo, we don't."

"See? See? I told you. We don't like it. So we thought for a minute on who could have POSSIBLY been so gutsy, so STUPID, to switch the ballots. And then we thought of the ones voted for Karakura High's cutest couple. YOU and your lovely Lieutenant."

"Lovely."

"We know _she _didn't do it, judging by how torn up she was when she found out we broke up."

"Torn up, she was."

"Then we realized that as a Captain, you might as well be a politician."

"_Politician_."

"You know WHY we thought of this, Toshiro?"

"Yeah, WHY, Toshiro?"

He sweatdropped at the stupidity of it all before sighing and replying through gritted teeth, "NO, I don't. How am I like a politician?"

"BECAUSE, you know how to cheat to get revenge."

"Cheat to get revenge, Toshiro."

"And we were not pleased."

"We weren't."

"So we want to get payback, Toshiro."

"Payback."

"How?" Toshiro asked worriedly.

They both abruptly stopped pacing to grin evilly at him. "We want you to admit your true feelings for your Lieutenant, Rangiku Matsumoto."

* * *

Toshiro didn't even notice Peyton barrel-rolling out of sight as he started ranting. "I DO _NOT _HAVE ROMANTIC INTEREST IN MY LIEUTENANT! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TWO? JUST BECAUSE I TALKED _YOU _INTO COMING TO YOUR SENSES, DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN DO THE SAME, YOU ORANGE-HAIRED BASTARD!"

"Oh REALLY?"

"REALLY!"

"Say it."

"No."

"Say it."

"No."

"Say it."

"No!"

"Say it."

"NO!"

"SAY IT," Ichigo growled, holding up a hot iron poker ominously and making Peyton sweatdrop from behind Toshiro. _Where the hell did he find that?_

Toshiro started wriggling, glaring at him. "You wouldn't DARE."

"Oh, I think you both know I _would_," he replied smugly as he advanced towards him.

Toshiro started kicking out his legs, and Peyton clicked on the machine excitedly. "ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! FINE! I _WILL _ADMIT...THAT I CARE FOR HER ON A LEVEL HIGHER THAN CAPTAIN-TO-LIEUTENANT! I CARE, I CARE, I CARE, I FUCKING CARE! NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES SHE REFUSES TO DO THE DAMN PAPERWORK, OR ANNOYS THE HELL OUT OF ME, OR _EVEN _WHEN SHE MAKES ME TRY HER AND/OR ORIHIME'S COOKING, I STILL...FRICKING..._CARE _ABOUT HER!"

"...And...WHO is that you're talking about? State her full name, if you please."

"Ran-...RANGIKU MATSUMOTO, YOU IMBECILE!"

He then panted angrily before his eyes grew wide. "Wait...Why is my voice echoing?"

Peyton waved the microphone to and fro innocently, and the curtains opened a tiny bit to reveal Matsumoto's wide blue eyes.

From what Peyton could see, on the stage was Bella getting ready to do that scene where she asks Jessica about the Cullens as they entered the lunchroom.

She must've forgotten her lines for the time being after hearing Toshiro's outburst.

"Captain...You mean that?"

"Unfortunately," he muttered, looking at his shoes.

There was a long silence before Matsumoto ran up and hugged him, nearly squeezing the life out of him. "Toshiro, that has to be the nicest thing you've ever said to me! Or to _anybody_! You switched the ballots for me? WHEN DID YOU GET SO _TOLERABLE_?"

Peyton and Ichigo exchanged a smug grin, and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders as they totally savored this one moment where Toshiro would let Matsumoto strangle him and NOT kill her later.

"I believe our work here is done."

"I believe so."

"ENOUGH WITH THE FAKE ITALIAN ACCENTS!" Toshiro shouted.

Matsumoto paused in her Captain's strangulation to eye them weirdly. "You guys got back together?"

"We never split up," Ichigo replied smugly. "We just wanted to get back at Captain Panties-In-A-Wad for fucking with the ballots."

Peyton nodded. "Pulling dumbass pranks is OUR department, and we don't need Toshiro trying to break our Stupidity Streak!"

Not that they were expecting their friends to understand, but Ichigo and Peyton certainly didn't expect to be chased through Karakura town by Matsumoto, Rukia, and Toshiro hopping as he was still tied to the chair, until the police were called to "apprehend the rabid teenagers".


	69. Epic Wins, Fails, And Shaving Cream

**Me: Here it is! The HIGHLY-anticipated, the one and only, CHAPTER 69!**

**Ichigo: (Currently running around the room like a mad man) WHERE'S SOME MORE OF THAT CAKE?**

**Rukia: (Worried) Um..Mandy...What's with him?**

**Me: (Shrugs) I dunno. I showed him some cake i was saving JUST for this chapp, and he fucking stole it from me, so...(Eyes widen) Wait.. (Runs to read note that came with cake) "Dear Mandy, Careful with this cake as the secret ingredient is highly addictive." **

**Ichigo: (Pauses) Heh, do you think it's AWESOMESA-**

**Me: (Continues reading) And NO, it's not awesomesauce. Yours truly, Animelover1993."**

**Rukia: (Eye-twitch) But of COURSE he ate that one!**

**Me: Ohhh...SHIT! Wait, WAAAIT...I think i can work with this! yes! i can make this EPIC!**

**Rukia: Whatever. Enjoy!**

**Me: Hope you're not disappointed!**

* * *

Peyton was awoken to the _lovely _sound of Rukia screaming in her ear. "PEYTON PEYTON PEYTON PLEASE COME OVER TO ICHIGO'S HOUSEEE!"

She actually HIT THE CEILING for once, she jumped so hard, and her temple throbbed as she fell back on her bed.

"...Why?"

Rukia huffed and crossed her arms. "One of his FRIENDS was STUPID ENOUGH to give him cake that's highly addictive, and now there's no more! He's running around the house like a crazy person trying to find some!"

She had been sweatdropping throughout Rukia's entire story at the mental images that popped up, and she finally blinked at Rukia groggily. "...And you think I can help...HOW?"

"Distract him, of course!"

She stared at the Soul Reaper for a long time before sighing and yanking the covers off herself, stomping to the bathroom.

"Lemme just take care of my hygienic and clothing needs. _Dammit_."

* * *

Ichigo knew he was acting crazy, but he needed more cake.

_Needed _it. NEEDED MORE CAKE!

Dad and Yuzu were combing through cake recipes to find one with the same ingredient, based on his description of what it tasted like, while Karin just watched with lots of sweatdrops.

They soon heard the door fly open, and Rukia shouting, "SHE'S HERE AND SHE'S _PISSED_!"

Sure enough, Peyton stomped in, looking ready to kill. She headed right for him, glaring. "YOU, sir...Owe me LOTS of sleep after these past few weeks!"

He sighed tiredly. "Peyton...I...Need...CAKE."

He must've looked as tired as he felt, because she eyed him worriedly before asking carefully, "Did you SLEEP?"

"For fifteen minutes."

"Oh, Ichigo, you _dumbass_!"

"I NEED CAKE!"

She smacked him upside the head so hard that not ONLY did he see spots, but everyone in the room winced.

He nodded quickly. "...Thank you."

* * *

"Oh no. Thank YOU. I've wanted to do that and get away with it for MONTHS!"

Ichigo's temple throbbed as the others sweatdropped before grabbing their stuff and running for the door.

The two looked at them with their own sweatdrops. "Where are Y'ALL going?" Peyton asked.

"LEAVING! WE CAN'T _TAKE _ANY MORE!" They shouted, shutting the door quickly before running down the street.

"TO THE CULLEN HOUSE!" Isshin announced. Everyone yelled in agreement.

"TO THE _CULLEN _HOUSE!"

They looked at each other, and Peyton sighed. "What the HELL kind of cake did you EAT?"

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****HOURS LATER...**_

"Ichigo? We looked through every single place that sells ANY cake, and came up with nothing. Something tells me this cake...is IMPOSSIBLE to score," she informed him as they entered his house.

He sighed. "I _knooow_...It wouldn't be as bad if I could just keep my mind off of it. If I can keep my _mind _off of it, I forget about how damn _good _it was."

Peyton folded her arms across her middle thoughtfully. "How about...Jello?"

"Jello's jiggly, just like the center of the cake," he replied, to which Peyton sweatdropped.

"Okaaay...How about thinking about...chips?"

"The cake had some crunchy candy on it."

"Alright. What about, uuummm...Gummy worms?"

"It was sweet yet sour," he uttered miserably.

Peyton's temple throbbed. "A deer eating a sugar cube."

Without even missing much of a beat, he recited off some theory. "The deer that's eating a sugar cube is surrounded by grass. They eat grass, too. Cows eat grass. Cows also make MILK, which is used in DAIRY, which is used in THE CAKE!" He wailed.

Peyton's temple throbbed even harder as she let out a frustrated growl. "GARGH! That's it, that's IT, that's SO IT!"

And with that, she grabbed two fistfuls of his jacket, shoved him against the wall, and started kissing him.

* * *

Somehow, she ended up being the one against the wall, and she pulled away for a second to huff at him. "You always have to be the dominant one, huh?"

He smirked. "Is this your way of distracting me?"

She kissed him some more, pushing him towards the stairs while sliding off his jacket. "That depends. Is it working?"

His smirk grew as he lifted her up by her thighs and she effortlessly wrapped her legs around his waist. I mean, damn, they've had enough practice at this point, haven't they?

"Getting there."

"You really like my thighs, don't you?" She observed thoughtfully, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I like all of you."

Peyton grinned rather evilly as she bent towards his ear. "Even what you haven't seen yet?" She purred, tugging playfully on his hair.

...THAT got him taking the stairs two at a time, which made her laugh like the immature idiot she was.

* * *

Once inside his room, Peyton hopped off while he locked his door. She then sweatdropped as he locked several deadbolts and five sliding locks.

She pointed at them wordlessly as he turned around, to which he simply replied, "Newly installed. Kon-proof."

"Oh, well _that's_ always-" She cut off as he kissed her, which made her back up and flop onto the bed, scaring the CRAP out of herself.

They both laughed a little, and Peyton slipped his shirt up and over his head, tossing it to the side. They got back to the kissing, and she was REALLY liking being able to freely let her hand roam all over his back, the other running up his stomach.

He started planting tiny kisses along her collarbone, making her feel ticklish, and she started laughing all over again.

His hand ran up her thigh, her hip, her waist, up to the top button of her shirt. She was pretty sure she made some sort of sighing-slash-moaning noise, which he took as approval (which it SO FRICKING WAS) to start unbottoning aforementioned shirt.

Wait, wait, wait...What bra was she wearing?

_CRAP_!

If it was her Wonder Woman bra, IF IT WAS HER WONDER WOMAN BRA, she would have to fricking jump out of a moving train, while surrounded by snow, and several packs of ferocious man-eating wolves, and-

Ichigo started laughing, making her lick her lips while glaring at him. "What's so funny?"

"You just have a _thing_ for superheroes on your clothes, don't you?"

"I'm wearing my Wonder Woman bra, aren't I?"

"Yes, you are."

_DAMMIT!_

* * *

Oh well, Ichigo didn't seem to dwell too much on it as he resumed the mini-kisses thing, starting at the base of her neck and trailing all the way down to her stomach.

Okay, now she was downright POSITIVE she was making SOME sort of noises. Peyton sat up for a second to shrug the rest of her shirt off before tossing it somewhere over her head and flopping back down.

He stayed sitting upright, staring at her, which in turn made her extremely nervous.

"...What?"

He shook his head quickly before leaning back down, propping himself up on his elbows, which were on either side of her waist. "I just can't really believe we haven't been interrupted by some sick, sadistic twist of fate by now."

She laughed and nodded. "I know, right?"

"Hey, Peyton?"

"Hmm?"

"You, uh...You'd let me know if you didn't wanna do this, right?"

She rolled her eyes and smiled. "Ichigo, if I didn't wanna do this, I wouldn't have let you get away with mentioning my Wonder Woman bra."

He shrugged and started kissing her some more. "Good enough for me."

* * *

While one hand stayed on her hip, his thumb making circles on the skin, the other trailed up her back, fiddling with the bra clasp.

Peyton's temple started throbbing after about five minutes of him trying- and EPICALLY FAILING- to unhook it, and she finally sighed and pulled away to roll her eyes at him.

"Honestly, during Sex Ed, they should REALLY have a lesson dedicated to unhooking bra straps. It's a handy life skill," she muttered while grabbing his hand and guiding it along.

"For future reference," she added as she felt one of the clasps pop open. "I think you can handle the other three?"

"Aww, THREE?" He whined, making her laugh a little.

"You can handle it," she muttered, feeling herself heat up and temporarily lose the ability to speak (for once in her life) as he gently pulled her into a sitting position so he could get to her back easier.

As Ichigo was undoing the clasps with one hand, and he sure as hell was taking his sweet time with those, the other one was wrapped around her upper torso, a few of his fingers sliding up underneath the side of her bra.

Holy crap.

She was gonna die.

Yep, right here, she was gonna die!

And she thought the time when Kon turned the house up on high heat was bad?

She couldn't take it. He was taking too long. COULD HE GO _ANY _SLOWER?

Peyton couldn't help but gasp as he undid the final clasp, making the hand underneath the bra slide right up against...yeah, you guessed it.

Okay, screw gasping, she fricking flat-out MOANED in response to the way his hand moved, and Ichigo had THE hugest smirk on his face as she flopped back down. He was about to peel the whole bra off when she remembered something very important and embarrassing...and downright infuriating.

"...CRAP!"

"What?" He asked carefully, recognizing that tone. The one that was usually followed up with, "I have to pee!".

But this time, it was something even randomer. "I haven't shaved my legs since yesterday."

* * *

He let go of her bra, sweatdropping, to stare down at her. "...Your point being?"

Peyton sighed exasperatedly. "The POINT BEING, I don't want the first thing that pops into your mind whenever we do it to be my not-recently-enough-shaven legs!"

"They're shaven enough for me!"

"You haven't felt them yet, I'm wearing jeans. Besides! The day after you shave your legs is the worse time, it feels all prickly, and I was half-asleep when I shaved them anyways so I didn't even do a good job in the first place!"

Ichigo sweatdropped again before groaning and plopping his head against her stomach. "...You...Have GOT to be kidding me."

"Sorry, but no, I'm not." Her tone sounded just as pissed and regretful as he did. To be honest, most of her body was still throbbing with excitement, and she was still hot and prickly. She hadn't even been nervous, for crying out loud! So of course, OF COURSE, she ended up deciding NOT to shave that morning.

_I KNEW I should've fricking shaved. _

* * *

Ichigo suddenly heard Hollow Ichigo groaning. _**"Aw, DAMMIT! C'mon, just keep going, please, I beg of you."**_

"_No way, you perv!" _

"_**It's for BOTH our sakes! I can't take it, King, and I'll go postal!"**_

"_She said no."_

"_**Who fucking CARES? It's not like she doesn't want to, she's just worried about her stupid...DAMN...STUBBLE!"**_

"_No! If she doesn't want to, I'm not gonna do anything. Besides...she has yet to master the art of subtlety. Knowing her, she must be right about the Grody Factor."_

"_**This isn't a MORAL issue, this is a I-WANNA-GET-LAID issue! C'mon, you're halfway there, just rip off Wonder Woman, start doing whatever it was you were doing under her bra again, and she'll give in soon enough."**_

"I _SAID_ NO WAY, YOU SICK FREAK!" He shouted inside AND outside of his head, making Peyton's temple throb.

"...See? I _told you_ it was disgusting."

* * *

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Not YOU. Hichigo."

"...Who?"

"My Hollow."

"Ohhhh! You mean, I could've just called him Hichigo and been done with it? THIS WHOLE TIME?"

"Yep."

"Aw, no fair!" She whined, folding her arms across her middle and pouting at the ceiling, which inadvertently made her bra slide off even more. Unfortunately, not enough to see much more than cleavage.

Ichigo sweatdropped at the bitter irony of the situation before sighing and running a hand through his hair. "Talk about unfair," he muttered moodily.

Peyton rolled her eyes and sat up, ruffling his hair before grabbing his shirt and slipping it on, hooking the clasps on her bra back up like the pro she was.

"There, _now _it's fair. You don't have to stare at Wonder Woman the rest of the time."

He sweatdropped. "Well then what am _I_ supposed to wear?"

She waved him off. "YOU can go shirtless, it's not as tempting."

His temple throbbed. "You know JUST what to say."

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE**__** HOURS LATER...**_

"Just so you know, the next time you shave, I am SO owed some action," Ichigo informed her.

She rolled her eyes, not looking away from the screen. "You've already said that about eighty times, Ichigo. If that's your way of getting me distracted so you can win, it's not working."

"But you're such a CHALLENGE at COD!"

"Being a kiss-ass won't get you any closer to GETTING some ass."

"Aw, dammit! And Renji said that's _fool_-proof."

"Oh, c'mon, you're worse than a _fool_. You're just plain a DUMBASS. Besides...What does RENJI know about getting laid?"

"Obviously you've never heard about the three occasions on which he and Rukia were drunk, or that one-night-stand he had with some senior chick."

"Nope."

He groaned as he lost, AGAIN, and was about to make up some lame excuse as to how she beat him when he got a brilliant idea. "Alright, Peyton, I just got brilliant idea."

She immediately stopped mid-Happy-Dance to eye him suspiciously. "What KIND of brilliant idea?"

"Okay, how about this: Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance. Two out of three. If I win, you have to take a shower and shave your legs, and then BAM! We're getting it on."

* * *

Peyton was obviously trying not to laugh. "Getting it on, huh? Alright, and what if I win?"

"Then...Oh! Then I can't wake you up early for a week."

"A month."

"Two weeks."

"Three weeks."

"Two weeks and six days."

"Two weeks and seven days."

"Done. No, wait, that's three weeks!"

"Oops, nope, too late, you already said done!" She said in a sing-song tone as she looked for Mortal Kombat.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTY**__** MINUTES LATER...**_

"I'm gonna wii-iin!"

"No you-u're no-ot."

"Yes I a-am."

"No you-u're no-ot!"

"Yes I a-a-...DAMMIT ALL TO HELL!" Ichigo shouted with a groan as she killed him off, the "Game Over" words flashing onto the screen. He dropped his controller with a resounding _**THUD**_, and Peyton rolled her eyes.

"You're such a big baby," she muttered as she kissed the top of his head and wordlessly left the room. He sweatdropped as she took a good three minutes to unlock his quite simple lock system before opening the door.

"Where're you going?"

"Nooooo-where," she said innocently.

He just sighed heavily and flopped onto his bed, covering his eyes with his arm. "I...am NEVER getting some."

* * *

He must've dozed off, because the next thing he knew he was waking up and feeling a weight on his lower stomach. Ichigo blinked his eyes open...and for a second wondered if he was still asleep. Peyton was sitting there...on top of him...in nothing but a towel...and grinning rather suggestively.

She grabbed his hand and ran it up her leg, stopping at her knee. "Smooth."

"I-I...uhhh...I can see that," was his well-thought-out and extremely intelligent reply. She just barely covered her giggle with a cough, which turned into hissing in a breath as he let his hand NOT stop at her knee.

Though she seemed to be breathing just a little quicker, she managed to smirk as she purred, "So. Shall we shag now? Or shag later?"

They both started laughing at how perfect that line was, and he grabbed her by the waist before plopping her onto his bed.

"Only you could make me laugh while I'm _this _turned on."


	70. I Wanna Be Sedated

**(Currently eating bits of a Niagra-Falls-Shaped-Cake given to us by rainbowdragongirl101)**

**Me: We're back!**

**Ichigo: (Also eating cake given to him by im a kitty that luvz sweets, the frosting spelling out "CONGRATULATIONS, YOU FINALLY HAD HOT HOT SEX!") Yay!**

**Rukia: (currently licking Chappy ice cream cone given to her by rainbowdragongirl101) YOU'RE awfully happy.**

**Me: (Smirks) In more ways than one, by the sound of it.**

**Ichigo: (Throws gauntlet at me) SHUT UP, YOU PERVERT!**

**Me: (Whimpers and plucks gauntlet out of hair) ...Douchebag. Well, anyways. Glad to hear Chapp 69 was so epic! Sorry for those who found it a bit too graphic; trust me, i know how you feel, i was feeling the blood rushing to my fave just writing it! But it was SO worth it. I mean, c'mon, just MAKING it to 69 chapps pretty much means i owe those two some action of questionable legality in a few states.**

**Rukia: (Shudders before digging into Chappy cake from KijoKuroi) Thanks for throwing those mental images right back into my head...**

**Me: I feel so bad though, i forgot to put Hisagi in the 69th chapp pre-chap-author-note! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!**

**Ichigo: No Mandy. You're unforgiven. You MONSTER.**

**Me: (Bawls all over humongous cake stash) NOOOOO! WHY, ICHIGO, WHYYY?**

**(Senkaimon suddenly appears, revealing Kenpachi and Yachiru)**

**Ichigo: No. No. NO WAY!**

**Me: (Laughing maniacally) THANK YOU RYU!**

**Rukia: (Takes cake out of harm's way and slowly backs out of the room)**

**Yachiru: Kenny, let's get this over with so i can go play Crazy.**

**Kenpachi: (Unsheathing his zanpakuto) This won't take long.**

**Ichigo: (Gulps and starts pushing Nurse Assistance button) NURSE! NURSE! NUUUUURSEEEE! DAMMIT!**

**Me: (Takes pictures)**

**Rukia: (Pokes head through door, wincing as a battle ensues) ...Enjoy. Mandy, come with me to get a stretcher. **

**Me: (Whiny 5-Year-Old voice) But RUKIAAAAA, I'm taking pictures! How am i supposed to get them autographed if I'm down getting a stretcher that smells like piss and blood?**

**Rukia: JUST COME ON! (Drags me to my doom)**

**Me: NOOOOOOO!**

* * *

"Peyton?"

"Hmm?"

"You okay?"

"...Mmm. Mm-hm. Just tired," she replied groggily. He smirked to himself. "Guess that means it was good."

She nodded, still breathing a little heavy. "Mm. Both times. ...Hey, what time is it?"

"The hell if I know."

Peyton sighed and sat up, squinting at her phone while running a hand through her hair. "...The hell? 4:30 already? There's no way!"

"Didn't we get here around 11?"

"Yeah...Yeah I think so...And I got outta the shower at about, uhhh...uhhh...noon-ish? That sounds right," she muttered to herself like it mattered what time it was as she slipped on her bra and the nearest shirt (which happened to be Ichigo's, go figure).

Ichigo grinned at the ceiling thoughtfully. "Ah, the shower. Best invention ever."

Peyton rolled her eyes. "More like 'Ah, Peyton. Best girlfriend ever'."

"Nah, you just wanted me for my body in the first place anyway."

"How'd you know?"

"Psychic."

"Really?"

"Only on weekends."

"Awesome. So when you started growling about 'never getting some' before I got in the shower earlier, you were just pretending?"

"...Yes. Yes I was."

She laughed before groaning and flopping back down. "Ennh, don't make me laugh, I'm sore!"

"The price one pays for epicness...in the form of HOT HOT SEX," he replied smugly, pulling her by the shirt so she was closer to him.

She laid her head on top of his upper arm. "Mm, if you say so."

* * *

It was quiet for a few minutes as he played with her hair and she tried to doze off. Unfortunately, the sentimental, emotional, girly side of her wouldn't allow her to sleep unless she said what it wanted her to say.

...For a very small percentage of Peyton's brain, it sure was persistent.

"...Ichigo?"

"Yeah?"

"Um...Thank you."

"Oh. You're welcome. ...Wait, for what?" She knew that had been coming, but still sweatdropped just a little before turning red as she remembered what she had been about to say.

"Well-" She paused to clear her throat, which made her realize how extremely DRY her throat was. "...For being my first."

There was a short silence before he tilted her head up by her chin and kissed her gently. "In that case, you're more than welcome."

She smiled before shifting into a more comfortable sleeping position, closing her eyes again.

"Hey, Peyton."

"Yo."

"I love you."

"Even though I kick your ASS in Mortal Kombat?"

"Oh, I forgot about that. I guess I don't love you, then."

"Well FINE THEN, I guess I'll just LEAVE."

"You're not leaving any time soon."

"Yeah, I know. Can you at least PRETEND to take my threats seriously?" She whined, making him laugh before yawning and shifting positions as well.

"Damn, I'm exhausted."

"I wouldn't know anything about that, Ichigo."

"Of course not."

Eyes still closed, she held up a finger as his arm wrapped around her waist. "If ANYTHING keeps me from getting some sleep, your manly needs are gonna suffer a serious drought. GOT IT?"

"Okay, THAT THREAT I take seriously," he said quickly. She could tell by his tone that his eyes were closed (weird how she knew that), and decided he wouldn't wake her up if he was just as tired.

Satisfied, she leaned into him a little more and let herself start to doze off.

_**BANG! CRASH! THUD.**_

* * *

Peyton's temple throbbed rather menacingly, not daring to open her eyes. "Ichigo! We're FINALLY ba-...holy _crap_," some voice she didn't recognize was saying.

Okay, Peyton knew that giving in to curiosity killed all chances of sleep, but she opened her eyes anyway. Ichigo's door was currently off its hinges and on the floor.

A blond dude was staring at them from the doorway, jaw on the floor. A girl with her hair in short stubby pigtails (ALSO blonde..brother and sister maybe?) was trying to process what she was seeing, looking angrier and angrier by the minute.

"...Ichigo...Who...is THIS?" The guy asked, eyes wide with excitement.

Ichigo's temple throbbed. "Shinji, don't you dare."

"Dare do what?" Peyton asked.

"Who the hell is she?" The girl growled.

"I am SO lost," she said with a sigh, sitting up and putting a hand against her temple.

"Shinji, don't do it," Ichigo warned.

"Don't do WHAT?"

"WHO THE HELL IS THIS? DON'T YOU DARE IGNORE ME, ICHIGO KUROSAKI!"

"Gah! Screw this confusing Less-A-And-More-Q Session! Who is this lovely creature sitting beside you in your t-shirt?" Shinji exclaimed, grabbing her by her hands and standing her up so he could look at her.

Peyton sweatdropped as the girl behind him promptly got a temple throb and smacked the crap out of him with her sandal.

"ICHIGO, ANSWER MY DAMN QUESTION, DUMBASS!" She bellowed, holding up her sandal as a threat while Shinji rubbed his face mournfully.

Ichigo's temple throbbed even more than hers. "She's Peyton. My girlfriend. MY GIRLFRIEND, SHINJI."

Shinji peered at her suspiciously. "...How much is Ichigo paying you?"

A resounding _**THWACK**_ was heard as the girl and Ichigo smacked him at the same time, while Peyton sweatdropped.

"I...am still SO LOST!"

"Peyton, Hiyori, Shinji. Shinji, Hiyori, Peyton."

Hiyori folded her arms across her chest, looking Peyton up and down. "I have a mouth, dipshit, I can introduce myself without your help. Where'd you find her, Mail-Order Hooters? ...Actually...Gee, in that case, I guess they gave you a bit of a rip-off. That Inoue chick's at least TWICE as indowed as this one."

* * *

A rather evil-looking aura surrounded Peyton as her eye twitched menacingly, while Ichigo did a Spazzy Wet Noodle Dance.

"WHAT KIND OF SKEEZE DO YOU TAKE ME FOR?"

"HEY! ...There's _nothing wrong _with visiting that website," Shinji informed them.

Everyone stared at him, and finally Hiyori huffed. "Well, whatever. C'mon, you're comin' to the compound with us. Everyone wants to see ya."

"You're coming too, my love!" Shinji announced cheerfully as he dragged Peyton by the wrist, who tried spastically to dive for the bathroom.

"CAN I AT LEAST GRAB MY UNDERWEAR FIRST?"

Shinji stopped dead in his tracks while she ran off to find her beloved underwear, looking at Ichigo gleefully. "Ooooh, _kinky_."

"SHUT YOUR FACE!" Ichigo demanded as he kicked him into a nearby wall, making Hiyori sweatdrop.

"...Good to see you haven't changed much, dumbass."

"Nice to see you too, Snaggletooth."

"Humph," was her only reply as Peyton ran back out, Shinji immediately sliding back up beside her.

"Soooo...Where the hell did Ichigo find a hottie like YOU?"

_**

* * *

**_

_**AN ****HOUR LATER...**_

"...AAAnd THAT'S the way it was," Shinji concluded. Peyton sweatdropped. "...You know...Somehow, I think I understand all that."

He practically had kittens, darting around between her and Ichigo spastically. "And she's SMART! Kinky, curvaceous, foreign, and smart. See, Hiyori, you could be her. You could be like Peyton."

_**THWACK!**_

"Why would I wanna be like HER?"

Shinji rubbed his nose tenderly, but apparently decided he should dig himself into a deeper hole with his fellow Vizard.

"WHY? What are you, an idiot? LOOK at the woman! See, I _told_ you to let me click on the 'yes' box for ya on that breast implant doctors' website the other day, but NO, you kicked me into a wall instead!"

"Oh, you mean like _this_?" Hiyori growled as she kicked him in the spine, sending him flying into the opposite wall.

"...Yeah...Something to that effect...I think I heard something pop out of place..." He groaned from amidst the smoke and rubble.

Peyton sweatdropped, and Ichigo sighed and shook his head. "We're almost there. Allow me to apologize in advance."

"For what?"

"Oh, you'll see."

* * *

When they finally got there, the looks on the other Vizards' faces were completely understandable.

She and Hiyori were currently having a shouting match over "how slutty you look in nothing but a t-shirt and underwear".

To which Peyton kept insisting "I also have a BRA on, thank you very much, and at least _I_ can pull it off!".

Shinji had commented earlier on how maybe Hiyori should take some notes, which not only earned him another sandal-induced-ass-kicking, but something he said to Ichigo had pissed him off too, so now THEY were trying to scratch each other's eyes out.

Needless to say, the other Vizards were confused and PLENTY annoyed.

They watched the four go back and forth at each other for a few minutes before a white-haired dude shouted "GIVE IT A REST ALREADY, GODDAMN IT!".

Peyton and Hiyori settled with flashing sideways death-glares at each other before their temples started throbbing at Ichigo and Shinji, who continued attacking each other.

"ICHIGOOOO, IT WAS A COMPLIMENT!"

"NO IT WASN'T, YOU PERV, IT WAS A DUMBASS MOVE ON YOUR PART!"

"Can't we settle this with civility?" A huge guy in a green suit asked the two.

Everyone sweatdropped, and a girl with green hair shushed him, eyes wide and bright with interest. "Hachi, don't ruin the fun! It's been a while since we've been able to see those two have at it!"

Hiyori simply folded her arms across her chest. "Besides. With these two, there IS no such thing as civility. Jeez, human or not, you could at least teach your boyfriend some manners."

Everyone seemed taken totally aback by that. "B-BOYFRIEND?"

* * *

The girl with glasses looked up from her manga with interest. "Ichigo has a girlfriend? Since WHEN?"

Shinji dodged another one of Ichigo's kicks, leaping up and staying in mid-air, grinning down at them. "Isn't she lovely?"

Hiyori's temple throbbed. "That's debatable. Many words come to mind when I look at her, but lovely isn't one of 'em."

Peyton's temple throbbed as well, and the guy with flowing blonde hair waved off her anger. "Ah, don't mind Hiyori. She's probably just jealous."

"JEALOUS?"

He ignored Hiyori and stood to hold out a hand to Peyton. "I'm Rojuro, Rojuro Otoribashi. You can just call me Rose, like everyone else."

She ignored Hiyori's death threats against her and Rose and shook it. "I'm Peyton."

Shinji dodged another one of Ichigo's attacks, kicking him in the face, and leapt back down to plop his hands on Peyton's shoulders. "Yes, her name's Peyton. My first love," he announced with a sigh of reminisce.

Everyone slowly backed away as far as possible as deadly auras surrounded Hiyori and Ichigo, Zangetsu and the flip-flop held at the ready.

"Mashiro!" The green-haired girl announced as she grabbed Peyton's wrist and tugged her along, away from the massacre about to ensue.

"Lisa," the one with glasses stated, shuffling through a bag before pulling out a magazine and handing it to her.

"You might need this. Y'know, for special occasions like his birthday or something," Lisa said matter-of-factly.

"DON'T YOU _DARE _GIVE HER ONE OF YOUR PERVERTED-ASS MANGAS! IF HER DAD FINDS THAT, I'M DEAD!" Ichigo bellowed.

A few of the Vizards looked quite amused as Peyton shrugged and accepted the magazine. "Holy crap. Ichigo scored a full-fledged pervert," the one with an awesome-yet-odd afro stated.

* * *

Peyton grinned. "While I _am_ a pretty big pervert, Ichigo obviously doesn't want me to take this for fear of his safety. THEREFORE, I am bound by my pledge to piss him off and cause him bodily harm as often as possible to TAKE this magazine," she explained.

"I like her already," Rose announced. Afro Dude nodded and held up a hand in acknowledgement. "Call me Love."

"Awesomesauce!"

"Awesomesauce," They all repeated slowly. Peyton nodded brightly. "For when 'awesome' just isn't enough."

The white-haired guy sweatdropped. "How the hell did Ichigo score a chick like YOU?"

Mashiro crossed her arms and huffed moodily at him, while Hiyori paused from her and Ichigo's hate-crime-in-the-making to snap, "WHY is everyone SAYING THAT? WHAT'S SO DAMN COOL ABOUT HER?"

Hachi chuckled. "Hiyori, maybe Shinji deserves a break."

Everyone sweatdropped at the sight of Shinji, who was currently collapsed on the floor and looking kind of like an accordion.

A really bloody and bruised accordion.

Peyton cocked her head to the side, eyes wide. "Well, damn. He brings 'beaten to a pulp' to a whole new meaning."

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****HOURS LATER...**_

"That was...AWESOMESAUCE," Peyton commented as they trudged home.

Ichigo was rather bruised, and probably more sore than she was. Which was REALLY saying something.

Then again, maybe if he hadn't been a moron and kicked Shinji's ass, he wouldn't be so bent out of shape.

He just sighed tiredly. "You ENJOYED that?"

She folded her arms across her middle thoughtfully. "Well, missing out on sleep, AGAIN, really sucked. But meeting the Vizards...That was pretty cool. You never told me about those guys!"

Ichigo sweatdropped. "Where you even THERE when I almost committed murder?"

She laughed and shook her head. "You're too violently spastic for your own good."

"I wasn't being violently spastic, I was DEFENDING YOUR HONOR!" He announced dramatically, to which she just sweatdropped.

"Jeez, Ichigo. If you're gonna make yourself look good, you gotta make it reasonable too." He drooped at that. "You make me seem like such a pervert."

"You are."

"I know, but it doesn't need any more emphasis!"

"Yeah it does. It's too funny not to be emphasized."

He had no reply to that one, making her laugh again and walk a little closer to him, peering down at his still very depressed-looking state.

"...You need sugar. Food. Something."

"I need sleep."

"OH, but when I kept telling everyone I NEED SLEEP, it didn't COMPUTE, DID IT?"

"Nope. You always need sleep, Peyton."

"Yeah, well...SHUT UP."

"MAKE me!"

Peyton smirked. "Fine. Unless you NEVER WANNA HAVE HOT HOT SEX AGAIN, you'll be smart and shut up."

As expected, he instantly jumped back as if she had burnt him and covered his mouth with both hands exaggeratedly.

She smiled and ruffled his hair, a habit of hers lately, making his temple throb. "You make it WAY too easy, Ichigo."

"Yeah, well...SHUT UP."

She rolled her eyes and attempted to keep her balance on the very edge of the curb, stretching out her arms like a tightrope-walker. "Fine, I'll shut up. See, you didn't even need to bribe me!"

"Good, then SHUT UP! ...Ha! YOU, being QUIET."

Peyton didn't reply, being quiet like a good girl, knowing it was only a matter of time before she succesfully drove him insane. Less than five minutes later, he grabbed one of her hands and flopped it around spastically. "PLEASE SAY SOMETHING!"

She giggled and attempted to get her hand back. "Fine, fine! Hi Ichigo."

"Oh, hey Peyton. Didn't see ya there."

"I can tell," she muttered, wiggling her fingers for emphasis, which he still had in his hand.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Where _is _everybody?" Peyton wondered as she crept through the dark den. _Nanaw _wasn't even up, which was saying something since she was usually watching Golden Girls re-runs at this hour.

Then again, it WAS past eleven. School tomorrow, work tomorrow...she had been the one complaining about lack of sleep, yet she was the only one around that _wasn't _asleep.

Not HER FAULT. If she had had it her way, she would probably be asleep in Ichigo's bed right now. But nooooo. Shinji and Hiyori just HAD to break down his door.

"Stupid Vizards with cool clothes," she muttered darkly as she flung her bedroom door open. Peyton reached to slip off her pajama pants, as per usual at this hour, only to remember suddenly that she was lucky she was wearing underwear.

Holy crap. That's right...Not only did she not have her pants anymore (until tommorow, but still), she wasn't a virgin anymore either.

She had forgotten THAT quickly?

Peyton shook her head and looked at her bed, sighing lovingly. "Ohhh, _baby_. I missed you, dammit," she said with a contented smile as she dove into her bed, wrapping herself in the covers and closing her eyes.

She was dreaming in no time.

Until she heard scratching on her window.

Peyton sighed heavily and, eyes still closed, reached for something to throw at the window.

Coming up empty-handed, she sighed again and reluctantly sat up, blinking herself back awake as she slid her window up to cuss out whoever dared disrupt her precious sleep.

She didn't see anything, shrugged to herself, and was about to slide the window back closed when Ichigo popped into her line of vision out of nowhere.

"DAMMIT!" She hissed as she jumped back in surprise, flipping right off her bed and landing flat on her ass.

Ichigo was obviously trying really hard not to laugh as she stood up, muttering a string of curses and looking about ready to send a Chappy Army of Death after him.

"Ichigo Kurosaki, you must have a MAJOR death wish."

* * *

He slid through her window and plopped himself onto her bed, waiting patiently as she brushed herself off and glared at him for a good three minutes to try and compute to him how tired and pissed off she was.

"...WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE?" She finally hissed, trying to control her voice so she didn't wake up the whole house.

He simply patted her spot. "Get in. I'm doing what I was SUPPOSED to do."

Peyton eyed him suspiciously before laying back down. "If you mean what I _think _you mean, it'll have to wait, I'm way too tired."

Ichigo rolled his eyes and slid under her covers as well. "Not THAT. This." He wrapped an arm around her waist and let her lay her head near the crook of his neck.

She meant to give him a weird look, but couldn't find the energy and decided to give the wall one instead. "And what is THIS, exactly?"

"Idiot, after a girl's had her first time, you're supposed to lay there with her until she goes to sleep. Just like you will every other time until she dumps you flat on your ass, because there's no way YOU'LL do the dumping to someone so important to you. Don't you know anything?"

She probably should've shot back some smart-ass comment, but ended up grinning like an idiot instead. "I guess I don't."

Peyton remembered Lindsay's first time. Her older sister had bawled for hours on end after he dumped her three hours later. She had really, REALLY loved him, Peyton had thought. Still thought that.

That's how Peyton got her one and only assault charge (which was somehow dropped) after she beat the crap out of the guy and threatened to make sure he didn't play any more freshmen girls by getting rid of his "pride and joy".

Come to think of it, they _both _cried for hours on end that day.

It was nice to know she wouldn't have to cry like that for herself, and hopefully neither would Lindsay.

She relaxed a little more, eyes slowly drooping closed, and the patterns she was making across his shirt (the one HE was wearing) slowly coming to a stop.

He kissed the top of her head, making her grin like an idiot all over again.

"Night Peyton."


	71. Statue Of Liberty And Strawberry Fields

**(Ichigo and I are currently exploring our House of Cake given to us by "im a kitty that luvz sweets". Hanging from the ceiling is our Disco Ball Cake given to us by "rainbowdragongirl101", and on the table are several prizes. "Ishihackaloogie"'s Giza Pyramids Cake, "xXNightly RainXx"'s sugar-filled cakes and cookies, "Shoot-the-Moon13"'s strawberry shortcake and cookie cake and bunny-shaped brownie cake.)**

**Me: (Fiddling with Awesomesauce Bazooka, which "the shiniest pebble EVER" got through COMPLETELY INNOCENT METHODS) We're back!**

**Ichigo: (Flapping Get-Well Card Cake from "rainbowdragongirl101" open and closed while simultaneously eating it and his Life-Sized-Zanpakuto-Cake from "MangaMagic") ...We got a lot of shit from the last chapp, in case you haven't noticed.**

**Rukia: (Licking ice cream cone with Chappy candies sprinkled on top given to her by "rainbowdragongirl101") Hey, Mandy, wanna come with me to the mailbox?**

**Me: WHY would i wanna do that?**

**Rukia: BECAUSE, I'm sending Captain Zuraki and Yachiru the lollipop from "rainbowdragongirl101" and I figured-**

**Me: (Runs upstairs the Cake House spastically) LEMME JUST GET MY FAN LETTER TO MAIL WITH IT!**

**Rukia: (Sweatdrops) ...You would...want...to come?**

**Ichigo: She is nothing if not a spastic dumbass.**

**Rukia: (Eye-roll) Whatever. Enjoy!**

**Ichigo: Oh, and also, Mandy would like us to congratulate Penguin on her latest conquest. **

**Me: Enjoy!**

**Rukia: (Flings cake at my head) THAT'S MY LINE!**

* * *

Somehow, she'd probably _never _know how, but Peyton was somehow the first to wake up. At first she wondered if she was dreaming.

Not only was she actually WARM and COMFORTABLE...well, minus the soreness, but she was used to that after yesterday...but there was sunlight creeping in through her window and she had yet to be disturbed.

On a school day.

So naturally, she was almost instantly paranoid. Peyton resisted the urge to lurch into a sitting position, instead she inhaled in that groggy sniffy kind of way and tried to get her eyes to focus.

It was no wonder she was so warm and comfortable, Ichigo was still right there beside her, fast asleep.

She turned over to glance at her clock, and she came THIS CLOSE to doing her famous happy-dance.

It was nine-thirty. School had been in session for two and a half hours! And she...was STILL...in bed.

When the hell did she get so lucky?

AND Ichigo was right there with her.

So who was she to disobey fate? Peyton had no CHOICE but to turn back over and get comfortable against him.

_**

* * *

**_

_**TWO ****HOURS OR SO EARLIER...**_

"Was Peyton with you?" Matsumoto asked Rukia, who shook her head slowly. "Nooo...I assumed she was with _you _this morning."

"She wasn't with _me and Orihime_..."

They exchanged a look as Ms. Ochi came in looking all happy and excited. "Welcome back, Shinji! Where on Earth did you go?"

The Soul Reapers' and Orihime's jaws dropped, while Shinji simply waltzed in and flashed a smile. Somehow it was still dazzling despite his twin black eyes and the bruises on his arms.

There was also a very detailed, red sandal mark across the side of his face. "Pleasure to _be _back, Ms. Ochi. I've just been...busy with _family _matters."

"Well, as long as you're here now. Why don't you find a seat!" Ms. Ochi paused to scrutinize two empty desks in particular.

"...Huh. Where's Ichigo and Peyton?"

Shinji picked the seat between the two empty desks, making Renji let out a whistle. "Now you're just asking for it, Vizard. Ichigo's gonna beat ya to a pulp if he sees you sitting there between him and his girlfriend."

Matsumoto beamed. "Yeah, he has a girlfriend now!"

Shinji waved them off. "Oh, you must be talking about Peyton. Nah, my love'll keep him on his leash. How could she pass up a seat next to _me_? I'm so adorably lovable!"

* * *

The Soul Reapers sweatdropped, while Orihime glanced out the window. "I wonder what they're doing right now..."

Everyone stared off into space thoughtfully.

Renji imagined they were off plotting schemes to further trim his beloved mane.

Rukia imagined they were still trying to find the Secret Ingredient to that damned cake her and Ichigo's friend was stupid enough to let him have.

Matsumoto imagined them making out in an abandoned alley before deciding they should buy their favorite Soul Reaper, Rangiku Matsumoto, as many new outfits as possible, maxing out Renji's recently-bought credit card.

Toshiro imagined they were off robbing a bank or blowing up a bridge.

Orihime imagined they were doing something romantic of some sort.

Shinji simply shrugged and said casually, "She's probably hunting down her underwear as we speak. She has a habit of misplacing it, apparently."

Their jaws dropped. "W-W-WHAAAAAT?"

_**

* * *

**_

_**PRESENT ****TIME...**_

Shinji had five new handprint marks on his face, which he was rubbing miserably. "I can't believe the marks are STILL there. You've all damaged my mojo, you know. I might have to make you pay for that."

Rukia sighed exasperatedly. "Shinji, you have YET to explain Peyton's underwear."

"How would _I _know about her underwear? She was LOOKING for it, I never got to see what they LOOKED LIKE. ...Come to think of it, I wonder if _Ichigo _even got to see that...Since they were in another room entirely and there was a bath towel by his bed, which I _assume _was used by my beloved...Hmmm.."

He then stared into space thoughtfully, making their eyes twitch in annoyance.

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN HERE?" Renji shouted, making him jump out of his reverie.

Shinji crossed his arms. "Do I need a reason to come visit? We missed Ichigo, is all. It's been a while."

"Is Hiyori in one piece?" Orihime wondered.

"Unfortunately."

"Damn," Renji and Toshiro hissed under their breath, earning slaps from Rukia and Matsumoto.

The Vizard chuckled in amusement. "_Maaan_, you guys are WHIPPED!"

Renji rubbed the side of his face self-consciously. "Shut up! Ichigo's the one who's whipped, not _us_!"

Toshiro nodded. "We don't even _have _girlfriends."

Shinji cocked a skeptical eyebrow, seeing as they were both carrying each female Soul Reapers' books for them.

"...No, not whipped at all."

"Speaking of Ichigo, what exactly DO you know about Peyton's underwear problem?"

"I know they _must _be nice, and she sure has a nice ass to cover them with. I should ask Ichigo about that, but then again, I don't want any more bruises until these heal..."

Rukia's eyes widened. "Do you mean to say...That you think Ichigo's seen her...NAKED?"

Shinji looked at her as if she were the dumb one. "Well, gee. Hiyori and I arrived to see her in nothing but his t-shirt, he had to grab a shirt while she grabbed her underwear from the bathroom, and DID I MENTION we found them breathing heavy and trying to go to sleep in his bed? ...Yeah, Rukia, I'm sure he got no action whatsoever."

Everyone was stunned into silence, save for Renji's distinct whine. His and Toshiro's lower lips trembled, and they dropped all the books as they started rolling across the floor, pitching fits.

"WE WANNA BE WHIPPED TO-O-OOOOO!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

"Peyton."

"...Hmmm..?"

"It's almost eleven."

"Yeeeep."

"We should be in school right now..."

"...Yeeeep."

"...How the HELL did we get away with this?" He wondered as he continued to play with her hair.

She shrugged with a yawn. "I dunno...Epic awesomesauceness?"

"Of course, why didn't _I_ think of that!"

"Because your brain's still asleep. You know, I think your brain has the right idea, I'm going back to sleep."

To her amazement, Ichigo didn't reply, and she actually opened her eyes for the first time in at least two hours. "Whoa, wait. You're not gonna keep me from going to sleep?"

"Nope. I'm tired, you're tired...Sleep sounds good."

Peyton groaned. "Ahhh, Ichigo! Now that you've said that, I wanna do anything BUT sleep."

"WHY?"

"Because YOU WANT to sleep! Jeez, you just ruined it for me!" She accused.

He groaned too, then seemed to have an idea. "Well, then...If we're not sleeping...We pretty much HAVE to go to school," he pointed out, his lips against her neck.

She sighed with disappointment, then stopped short, biting her lip thoughtfully as he continued kissing her neck and collarbone. "Waaait a minute...! Since we're wide awake, we might as well figure out what sort of activity we could do without having to get dressed, or leave the room, or any of those other boring activities. Hmmm...What could we POSSIBLY do?"

"You sure you're up for it?"

She grinned. "I suggested it, didn't I?"

_**

* * *

**_

_**TWO ****HOURS LATER...**_

"This-" _**BAM **_"Is SO not faaaair!" _**BAM.**_

"I knooow!" _**BAM. **_"He's probably-" _**BAM**_ "Getting action-" _**BAM**_ "As we speak! Stupid-" _**BAM**_ "Strawberry-" _**BAM**_ "BA-A-ASTAARD!" _**BAM BAM BAM BAM.**_

Keigo and Seth watched Toshiro and Renji, shaking their heads with sympathy. Rukia gave Seth a weird look. "The hell are YOU doing here?"

"Had to drop somethin' off to Okiwura from Ms. Nagimari. What exactly are these two moping about?"

"Oh, nothing much, just Ichigo and Peyton going all the way and making love yesterday," Matsumoto said casually. "RANGIKU!" Rukia and Orihime exclaimed as Seth's right eye twitched menacingly.

"...WHAT?"

Matsumoto waved her hands as if preventing a major traffic accident from occuring. "I-I-I meeean, not your SISTER Peyton and Ichigo, but the Peyton and Ichigo from that tv show!"

"WHAT tv show?" He asked in a rather ominous voice, making them all laugh nervously.

"U-Uhhhh, you know, THAT SHOW!" Renji lied oh-so-smoothly, making Rukia facepalm with a temple throb.

Toshiro cleared his throat.

"It's titled 'Strawberry Fields'. It's about a man that just moved from Tokyo to Alabama, named Ichigo. There he meets Peyton, and they have many antics together seeing as they can both see spirits. Also, they both have amazing spiritual powers. Ichigo is a substitute Soul Reaper, who helps guide ghosts to the afterlife. He also exorcises Hollows, ghosts gone bad, and wields a zapakuto, a spirit sword. It is named Zangetsu. Peyton can manipulate electricity and see the whole spiritual spectrum of auras. They meet by pure accident, and go from not being able to STAND each other, to friends, to CLOSE friends, and eventually fall in love while still listing 'pissing each other off' as their favorite pastime," Toshiro concluded.

Everyone waited in tense silence as Seth stared at him skeptically. Finally, he started laughing. "Ha! Like THAT'LL get a lot of fans! Soul Reapers, Hollows, spirit ninja swords...And my sister...How do you WATCH THAT?"

He clapped Toshiro on the back before heading for the door. "Could you imagine if that were real and they actually HAD those powers? Man...I would have the coolest little sister ever!"

They all let out sighs of relief as he left, while Keigo grinned. "Wow, I think I might watch that show! I wonder if they have that usual character that provides comic relief. Y'know, the loser kid that thinks everybody loves him when really they can't STAND him?"

The others exchanged looks before laughing nervously. "Yeah...Not that we have one of those around HERE..."

Shinji, totally oblivious, jerked his thumb to Keigo. "Well then what the hell do you call THAT?"

Keigo blew a rasberry at him before stomping off. "Yeah, well, you can just KISS MY ASS, SHINJI!"

As soon as Seth turned the corner, he frowned. "Hmm...Maybe I should stop by home real quick, JUST to see what she's up to..."

_**

* * *

**_

_**THIRTY ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"We...are SO epic," Ichigo commented.

"Tell me something I don't know!" She shouted from the bathroom.

"Ummm...I'm scratching my hot orange ass right now?"

"No you're not!"

His jaw dropped. "How'd you know?"

She giggled. "You just told me!"

Ichigo sweatdropped. "How the hell did I fall for THAT old trick...?"

He heard the ripping of paper, but decided whatever it was he probably didn't want to know.

"Because you're a moron, obviously," was her sincere and heartfelt reply.

With a flush of the toilet and running of the sink, she shuffled back into her room. The sheets she had currently wrapped herself in were making weird swooshing noises on the floor, and she dove onto her spot on her bed carelessly.

"Alright, c'mon, that's bringing hogging the covers to a whole new level," Ichigo complained, tugging at her sheets.

She pouted. "Well, what if I wanna be the Statue of Liberty next Halloween? I might as well get practice now."

He grinned. "Did you know they have a naked weather girl on some Canadian news station? Why don't you practice being her instead?"

"Oh REALLY?" She replied, grinning as she kissed him. He started tugging away part of the sheets, running a hand down the whole length of her side, and she pulled him even closer.

And OF COURSE Seth decided now was the ideal time to come home.

"Peeeeyton? YOU AWAKE?"

They both froze mid-kiss, his hand lingering above her thigh. Their eyes snapped open, looking towards her door as Seth shut the _front _door and set his keys on the counter.

"...SHIT!"


	72. Sneakin' Around Cougar Town

**(Ichigo and I are currently floating around in our Chocolate Cake Fountain given to us by "im a kitty that luvz sweets". Floating on its own float is our Eiffel Tower Cake and Leaning Tower Of Pisa Cake given to us by "Ishihackaloogie".)**

**Me: (Eating a brownie from InugamiGod and reading a card that says "Good luck Ichi!") ...Dude, you're so fucked.**

**Ichigo: (Eating his strawberry shortcake and fiddling with Rukia's new Chappy phone charm, both of which are from SwirlzSmile) Shut up! ...I have the worst luck...in HISTORY.**

**Me: Pretty much. (Signs papers to deliver Shadowgouf's "Sucks to be you!" cake and xXSweetestXAngelXNightmareXx 's chocolate cake with chocolate mousse filling and strawberry frosting to Ichigo's house) Those are for you and Peyton when you get outta this mess.**

**Ichigo: (Temple throb) ...Thanks. (Looks around) Hey, where's Rukia?**

**Me: Well...**

_**-Flashback-**_

_**Me: Rukia...What's with that bat behind your back?**_

_**Rukia: (Looks like a hit man) ...Oh this? (Waves Chappy bat) Nothing much, just...GETTING MY REVENGE FOR BLEACH THE BOTTLE!**_

_**(Senkaimon opens, revealing Mayuri and Nemu) **_

_**Mayuri: Are you ready, Volunteer?**_

_**Rukia: (Cracks knuckles, practice-swings bat and utterly destroys my tv set and fridge in the process) BORN ready.**_

_**Me: (Sweatdrops as she disappears into the senkaimon, shakes fist) YOU'RE PAYING FOR NEW APPLIANCES!**_

_**-End Flashback-**_

**Ichigo: (Sweatdrop) ...Well, shit. Syco's a dead man.**

**Me: (Hangs head) May he rest in peace. Maybe we should have a moment of silence?**

**Ichigo: But THAT would mean we'd have to unplug the Chocolate Cake Fountain, since it's so noisy.**

**Me and Ichigo: (Look at each other, then the fountain, then wave each other off) Naaaah! **

**Me: (Beams before swan-diving into fountain) ENJOOOY!**

* * *

They immediately sprung into action, slipping into their clothes (well, technically pajamas) in record time as they heard Seth raiding the fridge.

"Whadda we do, whadda we do?" Peyton wondered, walking in circles in her room spastically. Ichigo sweatdropped. "What's the worst that could happen, honestly?"

As if on cue, Seth called out from downstairs, "PEEEEEEYTON? YOU _BETTER _BE _ALONE _UP THERE, 'CAUSE I'VE HEARD SOME _CRAAAZY _THINGS FROM YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE BEEN UP TO! OLD WINONA'S STILL FULLY LOADED, BY THE WAY!"

They exchanged a look, and then Ichigo was the one running in spastic circles. "WHADDA WE DO, WHADDA WE DO?"

She smacked him upside the head, making him nearly faceplant. "Shut up before he hears you!" She hissed.

He nodded quickly. "Thanks, I needed that."

"Chyeah, no kidding." Peyton grabbed his arm and yanked him towards her door. They poked their heads outside of it, checking to see the coast was clear, and she pushed him into the hallway. "Go to the last room on the right. No one should be in there!"

And with that, she shut her door as quietly as possible and flew into her bed, trying to make the covers look less...romped-in.

She heard Seth clomping up the stairs. "Jeez, wish I coulda stayed home from school. That's SO not fair! ...I wonder where Nanaw is..."

Peyton paled. _CRAP! NANAW!_

* * *

Ichigo practically ran down the hall and wrenched the door open, sliding into the room and shutting the door as quietly as Peyton had.

He leaned against the door, bracing his forehead against it as he caught his breath. _Damn, that was close. In more ways than one...SO CLOSE until Seth just HAD to show u_p.

"Well, I'll be damned. _That's _convenient."

He froze and gulped before slowly turning around. Nanaw was sitting on the edge of her bed, watching a tv show. It looked like Jackass.

Well, now she wasn't watching _tv_, she was looking at _him _with the biggest grin on her face. Ichigo laughed anxiously. "U-Uh...Hi."

"Why hell_-lloo _there," was her...ew..._flirtatious _reply.

She folded her arms across her chest importantly. "I heard some very interesting..._noises_ from down the hall. Do you realize how _thin_ these walls are?"

He was pretty sure he had already turned three different shades of red at this point. _SHE HEARD?_

Nanaw pointed at him. "Remember that next time. We don't all wanna hear everything Peyton's doing...or every_one_," she added with a perverted laugh.

Holy crap. Now he knew where Peyton got her pervertedness from. Nanaw stood and shuffled over towards the door, pressing her ear against it before laughing again. "Sounds like Seth hasn't caught on. You got lucky, kid."

She looked him up and down before making a clicking noise with her tongue. "Young _man_. Young _spry _man. Ya know, my husband looked kinda like you. Just darker hair, and not as..._fit_. Mind if I poke you?"

She didn't wait for an answer, and poked his chest before giggling and running her hand up and down his arms. "Oooh, you're even _hotter _than you look from a distance!"

_Holy crap. She IS a cougar! COUGAR! COUGAAAAAR! _

* * *

Seth walked in and started poking Peyton's shoulder. "Wake up. Wake up. WAKE UP! EEEAARRRTTHHHH TOOOO PEEEEEEYTON!"

"WHAT?" She snapped, nearly punching him in the nose as she stretched. He jumped back and glared at her. "You brat. Getting to sleep in on a school day. Just thought I'd make sure you're not doing anything illegal."

Peyton smiled weakly at him, trying not to show how out of breath she was. _Damn, that was close._

"Nope. Nothing illegal. Just chilling."

He gave her a weird look and felt her forehead. "Jeez, P, you're burning up." _Did I really get that nervous about him catching me, or what?_

She waved him off. "I'm fine, really. Go back to school, before I call the truancy officer."

"I could just call them on YOU!" He replied, pointing at her accusingly.

Peyton rolled her eyes and flopped back down against her pillow. "Depending on the officer, I could just bring up the YouTube video and be let off scott-free."

Seth glared at her again before leaving her room. "Get some sleep, you look like you're about to throw up or somethin'!"

As soon as he got downstairs, Peyton let out a sigh of relief. "Ugh, you have NO IDEA, Seth."

* * *

He took his sweet time raiding the fridge some more, and as soon as the front door shut, she groaned and stood.

Unfortunately, she also tripped over her own foot and hit the floor a lot harder than usual.

Great. Now she was even more sore than before.

Peyton cursed under her breath before opening her door and heading for Nanaw's room while rubbing the side of her face...and sweatdropped as she swung the door open.

Nanaw was literally chasing Ichigo around the room, and he looked genuinely intimidated. "C'mon, just lemme feel your muscles some more, I'm so _bored _around here! What Peyton doesn't know won't hurt her! Please please PLEEEEASE?"

"NANAW!" Peyton screeched, doing a Spazzy Wet Noodle Dance. Nanaw had a hold of his shirt and was trying to lift it up so she could poke his abs.

She calmly stopped struggling with him and let go of his shirt. Ichigo spastically flailed in mid-air before falling to the floor.

He crawled towards Peyton, holding onto her legs for dear life, as Nanaw winked at him. Peyton's right eye twitched menacingly.

"Nanaw, c'mon now! He's MY boyfriend, I'LL do the muscle-poking from here on out, got it?"

She huffed and played with her faded blonde hair flirtatiously. "C'mon...I'm _old_, I could die _any minute_! At least lemme die _happy_!"

Peyton looked from her, to Ichigo around her legs, and back to her. "...Alright, how about this. If you're REALLY good, and don't try to seduce him from here on out...then I MIGHT let you have Thirty Minutes In Heaven with him sometime this summer."

"WHAT?" They both shouted. Ichigo sounded terrified, and Nanaw sounded downright giddy.

Peyton nodded brightly. "Yep! But you have to be GOOD. No more seduction attempts until then, and PLEASE, don't talk about how hot his ass is until then, alright? I already know how hot it is, and having you tell me so is downright creepy. Got it?"

Nanaw nodded cheerfully. "Got it!" She winked at Ichigo as Peyton dragged him out. "See ya around, _young man_," she purred.

As soon as they were down the hall, Peyton started laughing uncontrollably, making Ichigo stand up and glare at her.

"It's not funny! She scared the _hell _outta me, I thought I was a goner!"

"Ichigo, she's in her eighties. I highly doubt she could be _that _intimidating."

He adjusted his shirt and pants, making her stifle a giggle. "Now I know where you get _your _wily charms from..."

Peyton raised her eyebrows. "Wily charms, eh? Hey, I warned you, my family's nothing but cougars."

Ichigo stared off into space for a second. "...I was THIS CLOSE to getting thrown onto her bed and...her doing who knows what to me...and..." He shuddered, then shrugged and slung her over his shoulder.

"Where're we going?" She asked between laughs.

"I'm hungry!" Was his reply as he thumped down the stairs.

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****HOURS LATER...**_

"Best...Monday...Ever," Peyton muttered groggily.

"Yeeeep," he replied just as tiredly.

"I'm so...so..._tiiiired_..."

"Yeeeep. I know. Chinese takeout and zombies always do this to me," he said with a yawn.

She nodded. "Doesn't help that this couch has the magical ability to put anyone and everyone asleep in under fifteen minutes."

Ichigo looked at the clock on top of the tv and grinned smugly. "Well, we've lasted forty-five minutes so far, so I guess our awesomesaucenesses are still working pretty good."

"Well of course it is! Awesomesaucenesses like ours don't just _run out_, Ichigo. Jeez."

Out of nowhere, her front door flew open. Matsumoto and Rukia stomped in, Lindsay in tow behind them.

They were about to yell at them, but then Lindsay said "Awwww!", making Peyton and Ichigo sweatdrop.

Rukia sweatdropped as well as Matsumoto and Lindsay peered down at them, the couple trying to ignore them with temple throbs.

"...Only _you two _could be cuddling on the couch while one zombie's eating a guy's face while his zombie friend's ripping the other guy's heart out."

* * *

"We are not CUDDLING!" They shouted defensively.

Matsumoto sweatdropped. "Then what the hell do YOU call that?"

"_I _call it laying on Ichigo."

"_I _call it letting her lay on me 'cause I'm freezing and she's warm. Also, I call this having my arm around her."

"NOT CUDDLING!" They shouted in unison.

Lindsay shrugged and grabbed what was left of Peyton's Chinese, while Matsumoto jumped onto the couch, deliberately making them fly to opposite ends.

They both glared at her, while she giggled innocently. "What? I need room, don't I?"

"Sometimes, I have daydreams about strangling you," Ichigo informed her.

Peyton grinned and nodded. "Me too! Although sometimes I imagine her getting flattened by a fridge instead, and her boobs pop and deflate like balloons."

Everyone sweatdropped, and Ichigo laughed and shook his head. "I love you sometimes."

"I know."

Matsumoto rolled her eyes, then grinned and swiveled to face Peyton. "So. You got laid, right?"

Ichigo immediately stood up as Peyton opened her mouth to answer, running up the stairs. "Aaaand THIS is where I LEAVE THE CONVERSATION."

The girls laughed, while Peyton just shrugged. "Yeeeep."

Not expecting her to actually say yes, Rukia nearly keeled over while Lindsay spit out the noodle she had been trying to slurp.

"WHAAAAT? SHINJI WAS _RIGHT_?"

* * *

"Yeeeep."

They all piled up onto the couch and looked at her excitedly. "Was it good?"

"Yeeeep."

"STOP SAYING THAT!" Rukia demanded, and Peyton held up her hands in surrender.

"How many times?" Matsumoto asked eagerly.

"Hmm...three so far, I think."

"You THINK?"

"Okay, fine, three and one-fourth! ...Seth almost caught us, we had to make a rain check on the last one," she muttered.

Peyton figured honesty was the best policy in this case, because they'd eventually figure it out in a much more embarrassing way if she didn't tell them the whole truth.

Which sucked.

"Did it...y'know, _hurt_?"

She shrugged. "It did a little the first time. It hurts _afterward _the most, to be honest. I'm so _sore_," she whined.

"PLEASE tell me you used protection," Lindsay threatened.

Peyton laughed nervously, rubbing the back of her neck. "W-Well, uhhh..."

"PEYTON!" They all shrieked, making her jump back and whimper like a scorned puppy.

* * *

Rukia cracked her knuckles ominously. "When I get my hands on that giant, I swear, I'll-"

"Peyton, you could be PREGNANT!" Lindsay fumed.

Matsumoto squealed and clapped her hands. "Oh, hell _yes_! I call dibs on godmother!"

"NO, _I'M _GODMOTHER!"

"NO WAY, _RUKIA_, YOU THREATENED TO KILL THE FATHER!"

"I NEVER SAID _KILL_, I JUST WANTED TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM A LITTLE!"

"HOW WILL YOU TELL THEIR UNBORN CHILD THAT? 'Oh, I like to nearly kill your father for fun'."

"Peyton would have to tell the kid the same thing!"

"Yeah, but she's the mom, she's ALLOWED to nearly kill the father whenever she likes!"

Lindsay's eyes widened as she tapped Peyton's shoulder spastically. "Ohmigod, you're gonna get HUGE, and your _boobs _are gonna grow, and then you're gonna LET YOURSELF GO, and NOT TO MENTION-"

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT _UP_!" Peyton screeched.

* * *

They all instantly quieted down, blinking at her innocently.

She huffed. "I just started, like, three hours ago."

"You did?"

"There's blood on the pad on my undies as we speak."

They all sighed in relief, while Ichigo whined from upstairs. "YOU GUYS! YOUR CONVERSATIONS ARE SCARRING ME FOR LIFE AND STUNTING MY EMOTIONAL GROWTH!"

Rukia shoved up her sleeves and stomped up the stairs. "No...PROTECTION...ICHIGO KUROSAKI, YOU'RE AS GOOD AS DEAD!"

"PEYTON, HELP MEEE!"

"RUKIAAAA, DON'T KILL HIM, I'M A BIT HORNY AND STILL POTENTIALLY INTERESTED IN TAPPING THAT LATER TODAY!" Peyton whined as she bounded up the stairs after them.

Lindsay covered her mouth as she giggled, while Renji and Toshiro, who had just opened the front door, keeled over with perverted nosebleeds.

"Oh HELL YES!" Ichigo shouted from upstairs, making Rukia growl some more. "NO NO NO, RUKIAAA!" They both shrieked.

Matsumoto sighed happily. "Ahhh, I love those kids."

"AAHHHHH! RUKIA, PUT THE BAT DOWN!"


	73. Perhaps We WERE Oblivious

**Me: (looking rather tired) ...Hey guys.**

**Ichigo: (Stage-whispers) Second week of a new high school. It's sucked the life outta her.**

**Me: YOU try Academic Support, and nausea, and TWO HOURS OF LIFETIME/WELLNESS FILLED WITH NOTHING BUT NON-STOP EXERCISE ON AN EMPTY STOMACH, and see how YOU feel!**

**Ichigo: I'd feel like shit. Hence why I'm not bagging on you right now.**

**Me: (Beams) That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!**

**Rukia: (Rolls eyes) I think you're both overreacting.**

**Me: (Snorts a laugh) Rukia, you wouldn't survive an HOUR.**

**Rukia: (Narrows eyes) Is that a challenge?**

**Me: Hell yes.**

**Rukia: Very well!**

**Ichigo: You're SO gonna regret that, Rukia.**

**Me: Sorry, guys, but you're lucky i found the time to update this, i've been frantically trying to write and post this all week! I'd acknowledge you all like i usually do, but quite frankly...I think I'm about to die from lack of rest and energy. So i'd just really like to thank Syco, Coffee, Ryu, Penguin, Animelover1993, Ishihackaloogie, Jennifurball, im a kitty that luvz sweets, and all you other AMAZING reviewers! Also, if you like Ichi/Ruki and are interested in WWII (namely the Holocaust), go to Ishihackaloogie's profile and look up her story "And I Lived". She's soon making a sequel for afterward, and i'm looking forward to it!**

**Ichigo: So AN-yways..**

**Rukia: ENJOOOOY!**

**Me: (Facedesk and whines) Where the heck does she find the ENERGY?**

**Ichigo: She doesn't go to an American public high school.**

**Me: You...are SO right, my friend. (Suddenly cheerful) Sooo, i hope you don't mind that i helped xXSweetestXAngelXNightmareXx send that box of "protection" to your door.**

**Ichigo: (Eye-twitch) You...did WHAT?**

* * *

"Ugh...What happened?" Renji asked with a groan.

"I...I just remember...seeing Peyton run up the stairs and-" Toshiro cut himself off as he remembered the fact that Ichigo's manly needs were being totally fulfilled, while HIS...

He started wailing, and Renji groaned. "Oh, great. Ichigo's getting more action, isn't he?"

"Not right now he's not," Peyton replied from some unknown location.

Here meaning the couch.

But since they were still sprawled out in the doorway, they hadn't seen her at first. Toshiro composed himself before standing to stretch out his stiff legs.

The sun was almost completely set, so he cleverly deduced he had been passed out for quite a while.

Renji looked around spastically. "Where the hell'd my shoe and sock go?" Four fingers popped out from the other side of the couch to point to the right. There, in the kitchen doorway, was the Demon Dog, as Renji so fondly called him.

He was biting the crap out of Renji's missing shoe and sock. He sweatdropped and stomped over to try and get it, resulting in a battle of epic Dog-Versus-Soul-Reaper proportions.

Peyton sighed and shook her head, and Rukia sweatdropped. "What did Miya end up naming him, anyways?" Matsumoto asked.

She grinned. "Akuma." They chuckled at the expression on Renji's face as he stopped mid-wrestle.

The Japanese word for demon.

"...How fitting."

It was about that time that Toshiro noticed all the bruises Rukia, Ichigo, and Peyton had. He sweatdropped. "What...What the hell HAPPENED to you guys?"

Ichigo and Peyton slowly turned their heads away from the tv to glare to the right. "...RUKIA happened."

"HE DIDN'T USE PROTECTION!" She exclaimed.

"And Peyton knew?"

"Duh, it's hard not to," The girlfriend-in-question replied, drawing her feet up on the couch and purposely digging them into Rukia's side.

Renji snorted a laugh. "Then, damn, I say congrats. If Peyton doesn't care, why should he?"

"Because ONE of them has to be smart!"

"But they're both IDIOTS!" Toshiro and Matsumoto replied in unison. They exchanged a grin, while Rukia's temple throbbed and she pretended not to notice Peyton's toes.

They were probably starting to leave their marks on her leg, which made Peyton feel quite satisfied.

"...Fine. I'm not gonna bother you two any more about it."

"YES!"

"...Today."

"Awww DAMMIT!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

"Alright, I'm home..." Ichigo trailed off, bracing himself for being attacked for staying out after curfew, AGAIN.

But he heard...sobbing. Unmistakably DAD'S sobbing. Yuzu hurried past before noticing him and beaming. "Oh, ICHIGO! You're a MAN."

"More like THE man," Karin said dully from the den.

"I am? Uh, I mean, I AM!"

"Ichigooooo!" Dad called out before blowing his nose. Ichigo cautiously crept into the den before sweatdropping at the sea of Kleenex.

There was a giant cardboard box amidst the sea, and his jaw dropped once he saw the Trojan logo. "...Oh dear God. She actually sent them to my house."

"I...am SO PROUD OF YOU! NOT USING PROTECTION! YOU'RE RIGHT ON TRACK WITH MY WISH LIST, _AREN'T _YOU!"

"You...You're an idiot, Ichigo, you know that?" Karin asked.

"Yeah...I know..." He muttered as Dad got up and Rejoicing Noodle Danced his way over to him, prancing around him in circles.

"My SOOON-" _**HOP**_ "Issss-" _**HOP-HOP-TWIRL**_ "IMPREGNATING MY NEW DAUGHTTTEERRR! I caaann NOW-" _**PIROUETTE**_ "DIE HAPPY!".

He stopped suddenly to beam at Ichigo. "But I won't. Because then your children, which will be beautiful and have sparkling personalities, just like my new daughter, won't have a grandfather to spoil them! And we can't have THAT, can we?"

Ichigo's temple throbbed. "...No...No we can't..."

"Wait...So...You're actually doing what dad wants? YOU'RE TRYING TO GET HER PREGNANT?" Yuzu asked excitedly.

"G-GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK!"

"We already did!" The girls shouted.

"AHHH! I JUST REMEMBERED!"

"WHAT?" Everyone asked; with Dad's expression, you would've thought he forgot Karin or Yuzu's birthday, or something equally devastating to him.

"I forgot to tell Masaki all about this!"

"Gah! DAD, DON'T YOU DARE!"

"It's just a poster," Karin pointed out.

"Yeah...But the very IDEA of him and mom discussing that kinda thing..." He shuddered at the thought before shrugging and stomping up the stairs.

"Oh well. Nothin' I can do. Night, guys."

"...Night..." They said in amazement.

They looked at each other as he shut the door to his room. "...Relationships do weird things to people. Good things...But weird things."

_**

* * *

**_

_**THE ****NEXT DAY...**_

"...AAAAnd THAT'S about the time I decided it was a good time to just never look in Nanaw's direction again when you're around," Peyton concluded as to just how weird last night was after knowing her GREAT-GRANDMOTHER...had heard...NOISES.

And she did not hesitate to INFORM Peyton of this, right in front of Lindsay and Miya. That was...FUN!

Ichigo just laughed and shook his head, but then they both stared wide-eyed at the kid sitting in the previously-empty desk between theirs.

"...SHINJI?"

"Awww, DAMMIT, you're staying!"

"Hey, I like Shinji!" Peyton protested.

Shinji pumped his fist. "SCORE! I promise, Kurosaki, one day she WILL be my beloved."

"I thought _Orihime _was your beloved?" Keigo asked.

"Last I heard it was some chick in 3rd year," said a random kid.

Five more girls were mentioned by other classmates, making Peyton sweatdrop more and more with each one. "...I feel so special. Honestly."

Shinji smiled innocently, while Ichigo just scowled and flopped down into his seat. Rukia rolled her eyes. "You can live with having some distance between you and Peyton for less than an hour."

"It's not that, it's the fact that it's SHINJI."

"HEY! I resent that!"

"You're supposed to, that's why I said it."

"...Oh. WELL then. Be that way, Kurosaki." Shinji huffed and jerked his thumb in the aforementioned Strawberry's direction. "My love, what the hell made you agree to date this fool?"

Matsumoto perked up. "Y'know, that's actually a good question."

Toshiro folded his arms across his chest thoughtfully. "I've always wondered how exactly they went from hating each other to...to..."

"Shaggin' the hankypanky?" Shinji offered, making the couple-in-question turn bright red while everyone else started snickering.

Toshiro sweatdropped. "...Yeah, that."

That got them thinking back on their first impressions of each other...Which, to be honest, weren't all that flattering.

_

* * *

_

**_-Ichigo's Flashback-_**

"_Ichigo?"_

"_..."_

"_IIIIIchigo?"_

"_..." Cue temple throb._

"_ICHIGO KUROSAKI!" _

"_WHAT, RUKIA, WHAT THE HELL COULD YOU **POSSIBLY **NEED FROM ME?"_

_She pointed to a particular object in her newest romance manga. "What the hell is this?"_

_He sweatdropped. "...A gum ball machine..?"_

_Rukia could tell by his expression that she was supposed to know that, which was why she waved him off and simply said, "I just wanted to quiz you."._

"_Uh-huh. Suuure."_

"_Ichigo," she warned, temple throbbing._

_He held his hands up in surrender. "Whatever, whatever." He was going to say some smartass comment, but was interrupted by the bell ringing._

_Not long after, Ms. Ochi's door was flung open by...a girl that appeared to be losing her skirt. _

_Normally, he would be openly staring at something like that. But he was hella tired, and everyone else was staring at her, so naturally he had to be different._

_He decided the best course of action was to etch graffiti into his desk out of utter boredom. "Are you Ms...'Ochi'?"_

_Ichigo scowled at his desk. Great. She was so American Backwoods, he could just tell. She sounded like a (slightly) less-country version of the Vice Principal._

_Fantastic._

"_That's me! You must be the Yankee Kid!" He froze mid-graffiti-drawing. THAT was the kid everyone was talking about?_

_He swiveled his head to look at her. She looked so pissed off to be here at the moment. It was almost funny. "Um...Yeah."_

"_Well, take a seat, take a seat!"_

_As she walked past him, he stole another glance at her and sighed with disappointment. They had said she was blonde and was twice as developed as Orihime. Neither of which were the case._

_Keigo sure didn't seem to mind though; Ichigo could tell by the look on his face that he was already formulating a way to score._

"_...Yes? Can I help you?" She snapped, glaring at them all. Crap. He didn't realize he was among the nineteen or so kids openly staring at her._

_He turned around in his desk and sunk low in his seat, huffing moodily. **Great. Now I'm conformed.**_

_She turned out to be in his science class, and she must've been naturally unlucky. She was placed with Keigo._

"_Yo, you see the new American kids yet?" His idiot of a partner asked._

_Ichigo rolled his eyes. "No, one's in my class, but I have yet to spot any. Their accents sure make them hard to notice."_

_Tsuyoshi laughed as he copied Ichigo's answers to the EXTREMELY easy Bellwork on the board. "True, true. Dude, I bet she blows him off," he said, nodding his head in Keigo's direction._

_Ichigo snorted a laugh after looking at the poor chick's expression. "Gee, good call. Must be pure instinct. She looks like she needs to be put on Suicide Watch."_

"_Doesn't just about ALL of Keigo's interests?"_

"_True."_

_Tsuyoshi gave him a shove. "Dude, go rescue the poor Yankee Chick." Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Watch...and learn."_

_Tsuyoshi rolled his eyes and returned to copying. "I bet she blows HIM off too.." He heard him mutter, making Ichigo scowl._

"_Feisty, are we?" Keigo was saying, moving his eyebrows in a way that HE called "suave". Ichigo called it Looking Like You Have A Minor Paralysis._

"_...Sure," she replied, looking like she wanted to shoot herself in the head. She seemed to be thinking the paralysis was a very plausible idea._

"_Hey, you. What time is it?" _

_She glanced up at him, staring for a minute with a glare. **What the hell did I ever do to you?**_

_She held up both wrists; she liked colors and Tokio Hotel, he knew that much already. "Does it LOOK like I know?"_

_Keigo glared at him. "10:15, Kurosaki. Can't you see I'm busy here?" Ichigo looked from Keigo to the new girl pointedly before smirking. "Yeah, you're on a roll. Have fun."_

_With that, he walked off. Tsuyoshi grinned triumphantly. "BLEW you off!"_

"_Who the hell was THAT?" He heard her ask Keigo._

_Oh yeah. She wanted him._

**_-End Flashback-_**

* * *

Ichigo looked at Renji with a smirk. "Holy crap, you were right. She DID want me from day one!"

Peyton's jaw dropped in indignation. "Did NOT! What gave you that idea?"

"Why'd you ask Keigo who I _was _then?"

"Curiosity? Besides...I wanted to know who to not stand by so I wouldn't look as short," she admitted moodily.

Everyone sweatdropped. "...Seriously?"

"Yep."

That made Peyton think back a little on when she first started hating Ichigo a lot less...

_

* * *

_

**_-Peyton's Flashback-_**

"_Did you hear about the new kids?"_

"_What, the Yankees?"_

"_Yeah! I hear the brother's real hot."_

"_I hear one of 'em has huge boobs."_

"_Yeah, but then there's that OTHER one..." Peyton sweatdropped as the girls behind her made noises of agreement, almost as if The OTHER One was the international nickname for herself._

"_Ya know, I hear she abuses crack and some other kind of adrenaline drugs. She injects 'em."_

"_THAT would explain why she has so many bruises! All those injections!"_

_Peyton sighed rather heavily. Was she really that unhealthy looking? "ACTUALLY, those'd be from trying to beat the shit out of me," Ichigo replied smoothly from way WAY behind._

_The girls made little noises of surprise, and she listened as he walked closer to them. "If she injects drugs, then my middle name is Francis."_

"_...IS his middle name Francis?" One girl asked in a high stage-whisper. _

_Peyton rolled her eyes. "He doesn't have one!" She informed them. "...Jeez, even I knew that, and **I **don't sit around during 5th period talking about how DREAMY he is, loud enough for The OTHER One sitting next to y'all have to endure her ears bleeding for an hour a day."_

_There was silence, when all of a sudden Ichigo appeared right next to her. "What, have you Googled me or something?"_

_Her temple throbbed. "NO, I just happen to listen to things. A few weeks ago, Mr. Okiwura was all 'You didn't fill out the form right, goddammit!' and you were like 'That's 'cause I have no last name...GODDAMMIT'."_

"_And then I was like, 'Why are you so obsessed with me'?" He replied, mocking Mariah Carey's voice._

_She rolled her eyes. "I remember little things that make this place suck a little less. Okiwura happens to hate my guts, anyone who tells him off makes my day. Even if it WAS you. Besides, you should always keep tabs on your enemy."_

_His eyebrows shot up. "Enemy, huh? I thought an enemy was a WORTHY opponent, which we all know you're NOT."_

"_I COULD TAKE YOU ON WITH ONE HAND TIED BEHIND MY BACK!"_

"_YEAH, BUT YOU'D LOSE!"_

"_YOU WANNA BET?"_

"_ABSO-FRICKING-LUTELY!"_

_The girls behind them watched with wide eyes as they proceeded to fight each other the whole way home, grinning the whole time._

"_...Yep. She's a Yankee, alright."_

"_She's LUCKY, alright."_

**_-End Flashback-_**

* * *

Peyton had been staring into space, and suddenly started laughing. "HA! You SO wanted me, talking to those girls like that!"

"The hell're you talking about?" Rukia asked, but Ichigo almost immediately knew what she was talking about.

"Oh, c'mon, we all know you don't INJECT DRUGS! Even I can't STAND for rumors that're so obviously not true."

"Because you CAAAARED."

"DID NOT!"

"DID SO!"

The others sweatdropped as this continued for a good five minutes. Toshiro made a clicking noise with his tongue before speaking. "...Perhaps some things never change."

Matsumoto grinned to herself. "I remember when _I _first figured out they were gonna end up together..."

_

* * *

_

**_-Matsumoto's Flashback-_**

_Matsumoto and the other roof dwellers sighed as Ichigo and Peyton continued to argue...over who tripped over whose foot on the way out of third period._

"_MAYBE, if you two weren't walking so CLOSE to each other, you would've been just fine!" She finally shouted, eager to break up this STUPID goddamn argument._

_They turned to glare at her. "We weren't standing THAT close."_

"_Nope. You were WALKING that close. That's how you tripped, remember?"_

_Ichigo scoffed. "You think I would honestly get THAT close to this Midget Annoyance over here without giving in to my strong urge to strangle her with my bare hands?"_

_Peyton's temple throbbed. "HEY, Jolly Green Giant, enough with the height wisecracks!"_

_Rukia sweatdropped. "Oh, yes. The Midget Annoyance wearing YOUR jacket? How could we possibly draw such an outlandish conclusion other than that you MUST have something going on."_

_They both sighed heavily at that. "FOR THE LAST DAMN TIME, WE ARE NOT-..."_

"_CULLEN, KUROSAKI!" _

_Everyone turned to look with sweatdrops at Okiwura, who was booking it to get to their side of the roof, two yellow slips in his hand._

"_DETENTION, for Public Display of Affection."_

"_For TRIPPING OVER EACH OTHER?"_

"_Noooo, for the way you helped Cullen UP. Picking up students of the opposite gender in such a manner is considered either PDA or PDV, take your pick."_

"_PDV?"_

"_Public Display of Violence."_

"_PDV, PDV, PDV!" They exclaimed almost immediately._

_Everyone sweatdropped at that answer, and Okiwura just sighed and shoved the slips at their chests. Ichigo swatted the man's hand away from Peyton's chest. "Oh, and THAT'S not Student Harrassment?"_

"_Excuse me?"_

"_You dirty old man, paws off her, jeez!"_

"_Weeeelll, Kurosaki, you just bought yourself TWO detentions!"_

"_Does it look I care?"_

"_You want three?"_

_Ichigo shrugged indifferently, and Okiwura's vein in his forehead started pulsing rather ominously, so Peyton sighed and played up her brown eyes, staring up at him._

"_Mr. Okiwura, PLEASE excuse my friend's rude behavior. He knows not what he does."_

"_Amen to that," Rukia and Renji muttered, making Ichigo give them a glare. Mr. Okiwura sighed- even HE was useless against the power of Peyton's perfected puppy-dog look. _

"_...You got lucky, Kurosaki. I'll let you off with a warning and two detentions, seeing as you're probably just showing off for your little FRIEND here."_

_With that, he walked off, and Ichigo scowled down at her. He obviously didn't like the emphasis Okiwura had put on "friend". "The hell was THAT for?"_

_She smirked. "Ohhh, so you're showing off, are you? That would explain why you got all PROTEEECTIVEEE!"_

"_I wasn't being protective over you! That old fart's such a skeeze, he's ALWAYS hitting on pretty minors!"_

"_Oh, so I'm PRETTY now?"_

"_N-No, that's not what I meant-"_

"_So I'm UGLY?"_

"_NO!"_

"_So...I'm pretty, then."_

"_No no no, that's not it!"_

"_Then I'm UGLY!"_

"_No!"_

_This went on for another six minutes before finally Ichigo covered her mouth mid-retaliation, sighing heavily. "If it makes you SHUT THE HELL UP...then yes. We'll just go with 'pretty'."_

"_Awww, Ichigo basically admitted his FEEEELINGS!"_

"_SHUT UP MATSUMOTO, NO ONE ASKED YOU!"_

"_I KNEW IT!" Peyton declared triumphantly._

_Ichigo's temple throbbed as she did her Victory Dance off the roof as the end-of-lunch-period bell sounded._

"_...Good to see you're not letting that go to your head."_

**_-End Flashback-_**

* * *

Matsumoto nodded with satisfaction. "Yeeep. I called it." Ichigo and Peyton sweatdropped, while Orihime shrugged with a slight blush on her cheeks.

"Personally...I _always_ thought it was there. From the first time I saw them together. Although...I do remember ONE time it became extremely obvious to me..."

_

* * *

_

**_-Orihime's Flashback-_**

"_So you FLIP the second one! I get it, I get it now," Orihime said quickly as Tatsuki finished explaining._

"_You sure? 'Cause I don't mind explaining it mo-...Oh great, they're HERE." _

_Everyone immediately turned to look at the door to Ms. Ochi's room as two voices that were unmistakably Ichigo's and Peyton's started shouting at a quick pace down the hall._

"_I **TOLD **YOU THAT GUN WAS REAL!"_

"_I THOUGHT URAHARA JUST GAVE IT TO ME TO MAKE THE COSTUME SEEM MORE LIKE A GANGBANGER!"_

"_DON'T EVEN BRING **UP **THAT COSTUME, TOO MANY IMAGES!"_

"_I can't help it that I'm so dang sexy."_

"_S-Shut up, that's not it!"_

"_Uh-HUH!"_

"_C'MON, WE'RE GONNA BE LATE AND HE'S GONNA CATCH UP!"_

"_WHAT IS THIS, SLEEPY HOLLOW? IT'S NOT LIKE AS SOON AS WE CROSS INTO MS. OCHI'S ROOM WE'RE SAFE!"_

"_YOU'D BE SURPRISED!"_

_All of a sudden, the door burst open, and in dove the two bickering idiots. Peyton slid in first, and Ichigo slid in three seconds after._

_They skidded across the floor, while Urahara's clogs pounded closer and closer at a mad pace. He suddenly appeared in the doorway, not quite crossing the threshold and doctoring his hat, which had a huge hole in it._

"_Peeeeyton, you blew a hole in my favorite hat!"_

"_I didn't MEAN to!"_

"_Jeez, Hat-And-Clogs, it's just a hat! No need to kill anyone. Besides, it's your own damn fault for being dumb enough to give an unregistered gun to a spazzy minor like Peyton over here."_

_Urahara was about to move into the room and strangle Ichigo, but then stopped as if there were an actual barrier there. _

_He narrowed his eyes at them before stomping off. "You two hooligans got lucky."_

_They sighed with relief as his clogs faded away, not quite realizing what they were doing. Almost unconsciously, Ichigo's arm was wrapped protectively around her waist, and she was leaning into him._

_Both were breathing heavy from all the mad running._

_Matsumoto smirked slyly. "Ya know, they say body language tells a lot about people."_

_They tilted their heads to the side, not getting it, before looking at each other and turning red, crawling away in opposite directions._

"_I-I'm just gonna go...over there..."_

"_And I'm just gonna crawl..in the opposite direction...for...cleaner air."_

"_They're so cute when in denial, these humans. Aren't they, Captain?"_

"_SHUT UP MATSUMOTO!" They both shouted._

_Orihime sighed and shook her head at their stubbornness and bickering, but then smiled as they avoided looking at each other._

_Ichigo looked flustered and a bit confused. Peyton had the loveliest tinge of pink across her cheeks._

_**...Those two are gonna wake up one day. One day soon, I hope.**_

**_-End Flashback-_**

* * *

Shinji sweatdropped at the reflective looks on everyone's faces. "...Well. Ask a simple question around here, and you get so many different answers.."

Peyton just sighed and exchanged a grin with Ichigo.

"Guess we _were _kinda oblivious, huh?"

"Maybe we just liked making each other miserable too much."

"And for some weird reason, we didn't realize that we can still do that when we're a couple!"

"I know!"

They laughed at their past stupidity, and Toshiro sighed. "...Ichigo Kurosaki, I will never understand your ways, nor how one such as I will ever land action like yours."

"Why do ya say that?"

"Simple. I could never be so goddamn STUPID."


	74. PMS, Peyton, And Pepto Just DO NOT Mix!

**Me: (Currently exploring Cake MANSION, renovated by im a kitty that luvz sweets, and playing with the Awesomesauce Bazooka Mer gave me) ...Hi there.**

**Ichigo: Rukia's still in school right now (snickers and stabs fork into a cake in the shape of my face from Ishihackaloogie). She got Saturday School for punching a guy after he tried to look up her skirt. She got all the blame! She's SO gonna crack. (looks around) ...Hey...Where the fuck's Zangetsu?**

**Me: ...**

_**-Flashback-**_

_**Mer: (Running around and waving around Zangetsu, using bankai) I AM...INVINCIBLE! **_

_**Me: (Sweatdrops) ...Why didn't I think of stealing Zangetsu? (Walks off)**_

_**-End Flashback-**_

**Me: ...No clue! But i hear it's coming out on DVD soon, with some...extras. (Fiddles with Awesomesauce Award from Mer innocently)**

**Ichigo: 0_0 (sweatdrops) I have no idea what the hell you're talking about, but...whatever.. (Jumps into chocolate cake fountain)**

**Me: Good boy. Well, thanks again for all the reviews! Sorry if i didn't mention your name on here, I just kinda went by memory (laughs nervously). Enjoy!**

* * *

The rest of February was pretty normal. Well, besides the Vizards "dropping by" whenever they pleased at the worst moments, Nanaw being...Nanaw, the other Cullens being the Cullens, the Kurosakis being the Kurosakis, occasional "shaggin' the hankypanky", and Lindsay's psychotic wedding planning.

In March, it only got worse. The wedding was set for March 27th, only two weeks away, and Lindsay was...well...to put it quite simply, she looked like she needed a whole damn bottle of Zanex. And Percocet. And Valium.

"On second thought, maybe just a few swings with Rukia's Chappy bat would do," Peyton muttered to herself as Lindsay threw another dress over the dressing room door, the zipper nearly poking her eye out somehow.

"TRY THIS, THE BUILT-IN BRA'S SMALLER!"

"THANKS FOR ANNOUNCING THAT TO THE GODDAMN WORLD, SIS!"

"SORRY!" Lindsay replied frantically, her flip-flops flapping all throughout the room, in and out, like someone undergoing a DUI test.

...While on speed.

And crack.

And some Valium, and Percocet, and- "HURRY UP, HURRY UP!"

Peyton jumped, snapped out of her thoughts, and peeled the other dress off before slipping on Dress 43.

The sad thing was, that wasn't even an exaggeration, it was the exact number. Peyton slipped it on, all happy since she thought it fit.

Until...she looked in the mirror. She groaned. "Dammit, Linds, I can't try on dresses while I'm on my periooood! You KNOW I get all bloated!"

"TOO DAMN BAD, you should've done it sooner."

"I did, IF YOU RECALL."

"Yes, well, you didn't put it in the right pile, and they didn't have it still in stock when we came back for it. IF YOU RECALL."

Lindsay opened the door, took one look at her, and made a face. "...Eh. Perhaps you're right. Let's postpone."

"YESSS!"

She watched as Peyton slipped her clothes back on before wondering to herself, "Does your bloating affect your butt too...?"

Peyton's temple throbbed as she slipped her shoes back on. "My kingdom for Zangetsu right now, I swear to God."

"Who?"

"Nothing, nothing. Just a, uh...video game! Yes, video game. Soul Calibur. It's a super-secret bonus weapon. Used to rid the female characters of...FBS."

"FBS?"

"Fatal Bloating Syndrome. It's very serious, they're still looking for a cure in the Soul Calibur world."

Lindsay sweatdropped. "...Oh."

* * *

Peyton sighed miserably and stomped out of the shop, her older sister beside her and giving anyone who tried to get in their way a look that clearly read "Peyton's PMS Time, Approach At Your Own Risk."

"I don't see why the bridesmaids have to get _dresses_. Why can't we wear...I dunno...OH! Why couldn't it be luau themed or something? Then I could wear a bathing suit, and I could finally learn how to hula, and pig out at a cool buffet," Peyton whined, sighing dreamily.

Lindsay sweatdropped. "Well, if you were on your period, you wouldn't be able to wear a bathing suit anyways."

"EHHH? ARE YOU IMPLYING I BLOAT ENOUGH TO MAKE ME LOOK...LOOK...FAAAT?"

"...Well, not FAT, just...bloated."

Peyton's temple throbbed. "Thanks for clearing that up, sis. So much."

"Well, you don't wanna let ICHIGO see you like that, do you?" Lindsay's mouth shut real quick after seeing the death glare etched all over her little sister's face.

"...I DON'T?"

"U-Uhhhh, I mean, uhhh...YOU LOOK MARVELOUS _ALL_ THE TIME! BETTER THAN THOSE COVERGIRL MODELS, BECAUSE YA KEEP IT REAL, AND...AND EAT MCDONALD'S!"

"Jeez, Linds, if you're gonna lie your ass off and try to kiss up, at least make it somewhat believable."

Lindsay sweatdropped as she watched her plug her iPod earphones into her ears, crank the volume, and turn around the corner before theirs. "Although I sure do _loooove_ Mickey Dee's."

She sighed and shook her head, and could've sworn she heard thunder rumbling, but maybe that was just Peyton's demonic PMS-y aura making her paranoid. "Ichigo has no idea what he's in for."

* * *

Almost as soon as Yuzu opened the door, Karin let out a whistle and backed up. "This is gonna get interesting. I know what _that_ look means."

Peyton blew her wet hair out of her eyes, the wind having blown it everywhere. Yuzu quickly shut the door against the sudden storm that had started raging outside without signs of stopping.

"Whaddaya mean, Karin?" Yuzu whispered as they watched her carefully slide off her shoes and finger her shirt, trying to get it to stop sticking to her skin.

"It's that time of the month, AND she just got caught in that storm," Karin replied quietly.

"Ohhhh. Hey, uh, Peyton, you wanna borrow some of my clothes?"

"Yuzu, there's no way she'll fit in your clothes," Ichigo replied out of nowhere.

Big mistake. HUGE mistake!

His sisters shook their heads sadly at his fate as Peyton slowly turned to give him a death glare. "...And how do YOU know?"

"Ichigooo," Karin warned slowly. He apparently didn't hear her as he shrugged. "Well, y'know, she's smaller than you."

"Ohmigoodness, he's a dead man," Yuzu breathed. Her sister nodded as Peyton popped her knuckles ominously and stomped towards him.

"Care to repeat that?"

* * *

"What, too much water in your ears or something? You should probably get rid of that before ya get swimmer's ear," he said matter-of-factly, continuing to eat his cake, totally oblivious.

She continued advancing towards him, and he slowly swallowed the cake bites he had been chewing. "Um...Peyton?"

"I...am NOT...BIG!" She exclaimed, smacking him upside the head. "Ow! Dammit, the hell was that for?"

"For being an idiot!"

"All I said was that Yuzu's smaller-"

_**BAM!**_

"I heard what you said, no need to REPEAT such blasphemy!"

"Blasph- Jeez, are you ILL or something?"

"Oh, so now I'm UNHEALTHY-LOOKING, huh?"

Ichigo dodged her fist before running for the kitchen. "Here, you need cake. CHOCOLATE cake. As in FAST."

"Ichigoooo, are you suggesting I EAT MY FEELINGS?"

"You want some cake?"

She sighed. "Cake sounds nice."

Karin sweatdropped, currently perched on the staircase railing. "How does that make sense in _any_ way, what you just managed to do, Ichigo?"

"Tame the beast?" Yuzu offered.

"Not HARDLY," he and his girlfriend replied in unison, one sounding amused, the other sounding pissed.

Guess which one was which.

He simply grinned as Peyton grabbed the plate with a glare for extra measure. "Milk sounds good too," she said simply as she trudged into the den to eat her beloved cake in peace.

He ruffled Karin's hair, making her squirm. "One thing you need to learn about Peyton, something you should already know? Nothing about her, from her logic to her habits, make sense. So to make sense to her, you have to make absolutely no sense. And then eventually, she starts to make sense."

Karin sweatdropped again as he went back into the kitchen. "...I think you're both crazy."

Yuzu sighed and shook her head, patting Karin's arm. "You should've already known that at this point."

"...Yeah, that's true."

* * *

"So. What's wrong with you today?" Ichigo asked casually as he set the milk down on the table.

She stopped inhaling the chocolatey goodness to glare over and up at him. "What makes you think something's WRONG with me?"

"Because you almost assaulted me about three minutes ago. In a more-aggressive-than-usual kind of way."

Peyton huffed. "Well, lemme see. I'm tired, I'm freezing, I'm starving, I'm soaked to the bone, and I currently have a tampon shoved up my-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, _whoa_! TMI, TMI!" He exclaimed, doing a Spazzy Wet Noodle Dance.

She sighed impatiently, obviously not in the mood. "For crying out loud, Ichigo, we've seen each other naked. I _highly doubt _tampons are the most embarrassing things to mention at this point."

"...Yeah, point taken."

"Mm-hmm, that's what I-" She cut off with a few sneezes. "...Thought."

Ichigo sighed. "Great. You're sick."

"AM NOT!"

"OH YEAH?"

"YEAH!"

He rolled his eyes and felt her forehead, quickly drawing his hand back. "Jeez, Peyton, you're burning up."

She huffed. "That doesn't mean I'm sick."

"Yeah, but you're also pale, and clammy, and just got out of a storm. And you're still sitting here, soaked to the bone, in wet clothes."

They had a stare-off, and finally she sighed in defeat and stomped upstairs. "I'm stealing your clothes!" She informed him.

"Am I supposed to be annoyed by that or something?"

"It'd be a nice little bonus."

"Hey, SPEAKING of nice little bonuses, want some help getting those wet clothes off?"

"NOT in the mood!"

"And I can readily accept that!" He said cheerfully.

Peyton smirked to herself despite her homicidal mood and shook her head.

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****HOURS LATER...**_

"I'm hooooome!" Isshin exclaimed as he opened the front door, shrugging out of his rain jacket and slipping off his soaked shoes.

"That storm sure is something. I hope Ichigo didn't drown before he could help my new daughter bear some-"

He trailed off with an excited gasp as Peyton came into view. She was currently sprawled out on the couch, head on Ichigo's leg, her face turned away from him. "SPEAK OF THE-"

Three "SHHH!"s interrupted him, making him jump. "What?"

"She's asleep!" Yuzu hissed. Karin shook her head. "And trust us, you do NOT want her to wake up," she insisted.

Ichigo nodded in agreement, continuing to play with her hair and whatnot while watching tv, practically asleep himself.

"She's sick." As if on cue, she sneezed and sniffled in her sleep before shifting a little. Well, not really a LITTLE. Ichigo was lucky he pushed her back in time, she almost rolled right off the couch.

"SICK? Not my Peyton!"

Karin rolled her eyes. "She's not YOURS. If anybody's, she's SO Ichigo's."

Ichigo rolled HIS eyes. "She doesn't belong to ANYBODY, jeez."

"Attaboy, I really WAS successful in raising you!" Isshin said brightly as he went into the kitchen. "So, Yuzu, what's for dinner?"

She shrugged. "I dunno. Whatever you can find in the fridge?"

They heard a clatter, and suddenly Dad ran up to her, feeling her forehead and sides of her face. "Oh no. OH NO! ARE YOU SICK _TOO_, YUZU?"

"SHHH!" Karin and Ichigo hissed, while Yuzu sweatdropped before laughing anxiously. "Dad, I'm not sick! I was just busy giving Peyton medicine, and it made me tired."

"Does giving her medicine really take that long and THAT much energy?" He wondered, glancing at his pale and slightly-shivering New Daughter.

Ichigo and Karin laughed out loud at that one, while Yuzu sighed and rubbed the back of her neck anxiously. "Well..."

_

* * *

_

**_-Flashback-_**

"_NO WAY! You don't expect me to...to...TAKE THAT!" Peyton exclaimed, eyeing the pink liquid as if it were shock therapy._

_Yuzu sighed. "Peyton, you need it for your stomach! Do you wanna keep throwing up?"_

"_..."_

"_DO YOU?" Karin asked ominously, making Peyton cringe before folding her arms across her middle defiantly. _

"_There is no way...no way IN HELL, I say! ...That I will drink that DISGUSTING Pepto-Bismol crap!"_

"_It's not THAT bad," Ichigo commented._

_She glared at him. "You have a stomach of steel when it comes to medicine. I, however, am a medicine WHIMP. That stuff'll make me sicker than before I took it, I swear by it!"_

_He rolled his eyes. "I think you're just being dramatic, as usual. C'mon, take it."_

"_No."_

"_Take it."_

"_No!"_

"_Take it, Peyton, before you throw up some more."_

"_No way!"_

_He sighed, temple throbbing as she pouted and turned her head up like a little kid refusing to eat brussells sprouts. "...Fine, you leave us no choice. Karin, I need ya over here."_

_She eyed him suspiciously. "W-What're you doing? Ichigo, don't you dare- NOOOO!" She shouted as he held her arms down before pinning down her legs with his one leg._

"_Karin, hurry up! C'mon, Peyton, take it."_

"_NO."_

"_Jesus Christ, take the goddamn medicine!"_

"_YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!"_

_He looked at Yuzu, who tentatively held the tiny measuring cup of Pepto-Bismol in front of her mouth, which quickly snapped shut._

"_Peyton, this is so stupid," Karin informed her._

_She said something back with her mouth still shut, and Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Karin, open her mouth."_

_Karin tried, but she wasn't relenting. Ichigo sighed as her seventh try at prying her mouth open was yet again unsuccessful. _

"_...Alright, go get the pliers."_

"_WHAT?" Peyton screeched. "NOW YUZU!" Before Peyton realized their plan and could shut her mouth, the cup was against her lip and the liquid was pouring down her throat._

"_GAH!" She shouted after swallowing it. Yuzu sighed, just like Peyton's mom used to. "C'mon, Peyton, all of it," she said sternly yet soothingly as she tilted the rest down her throat some more._

_Almost EXACTLY like mom used to._

_Finally, it was all down, and Peyton downed the rest of her milk. "Now, isn't that better?" Yuzu said brightly as she went to rinse out the measuring cup. _

_"HELL no!"_

_Ichigo rolled his eyes and relinquished his grip on her. "You'll be fine."_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"_You guys SU-U-UUUCK!" Peyton whined before they heard more vomiting noises, making them all cringe._

"_...Perhaps the Pepto really WAS a bad idea," Yuzu amended quietly, making the other two nod quickly as they turned up the tv and tried to drown it out._

"_YOU THINK?" She screeched. More vomiting, a couple coughs._

_Yuzu threw the remote at Ichigo's head, missing just barely. "Go help her!"_

_He looked at her as if she were crazy. "You're kidding, right?"_

"_She's your girlfriend, your LOVER! I'm sure she'd like some company."_

_He rolled his eyes as if to say, "Chyeah right" before calling out, "Heey, Peeeeyton? Want me to come in there?"_

"_NO EFFING WAY, YOU STRAWBERRY...JOLLY...GIANT...CAKE-OUT-THE-YIN-YANG...JERKFACE! IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOUR BRUTE STRENGTH, I WOULDN'T BE LOOKING AT MURKY AND SLIGTLY-CHUNKY TOILET WATER RIGHT NOW!" She shouted before vomiting even more._

_The other two sweatdropped as he simply yelled "Alright, suit yourself!" and shook his head, continuing to watch tv. _

"_...See? Told ya so."_

**_-End Flashback-_**

* * *

A collective shudder filled the room, and Ichigo rubbed her arm apologetically as if she were still awake. "...Yeah...That wasn't our finest hour."

"Or two."

"Two hours and twenty minutes. I'm surprised she has stuff LEFT in there, I'm pretty sure I saw her _lung _floating around in there when she flushed the toilet," Karin said dully.

Dad sweatdropped before going into the kitchen. "You three are MONSTERS! I shall fix my poor, mistreated new daughter some SOUP!"

"I WANNA HELP!" Yuzu exclaimed, running after him.

Karin went upstairs to get her art stuff, while Ichigo sighed and turned up the tv as Dad and Yuzu started discussing the importance of which ingredients went into the beloved soup.


	75. Calm Before The Storm And Frilly Aprons

**Me: (Doing the moonwalk all over the place)**

**Ichigo: (Shakes head) She's...happy.**

**Me: OF COURSE I AM! I was watching Bleach on Adult Swim last night and a commercial came on for clips from Bleach i haven't seen before. I was wondering if it was a new movie coming out or something like that, and then, i see the most awesomesaucy words appear on the screen. "Bleach: New episodes starting next Sunday". Y'all...I just about died of happiness right then and there. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS?**

**Ichigo: Forever?**

**Me: FOREVER, I SAY! Oh, also, i brought some cakes made by Shadowgouf for you all to admire! (looks at Ichigo, who then wheels in Cake Number One. It's orange vanilla cake with strawberry icing with sprinkles. On it is a chibi young version of nanaw in the middle hugging a strawberry with white icing saying "My Soon-To-Be Strawberry" with a printed picture of her from the present hugging a terrified ichigo, who's trying to get out of the hug.)**

**Ichigo: (Temple throb) ...How...Fucking...HILARIOUS.**

**Me: I know right! Cake Number 2! (Ichigo wheels out another cake. It's a black cake shaped like a coffin with blood red icing. Nanaw's crying at Ichigo's grave with Peyton. The following words are above Nanw in grey icing: "I never got to have my thirty minutes of heaven with the hunk muffin!" and above Peyton with white icing: "I'll never tap that hot orange ass ever again!". And of course, Mark Cullen's in the back left corner fainting from his daughter's statement.)**

**Ichigo: (Grins) At least I'm already dead in that scenario and won't have to face the wrath of Mark!**

**Me: That's the spirit! And now, Cake Number 3! (Ichigo wheels out yet another cake. It's a blue cake with green icing in the shape of a four pointed star with a chibi Toshiro crying with his ice dragon around him trying to comfort the boy. Green icing words are saying "Why do you ignore my manly need! ".)**

**Ichigo: Hehehehe, Toshirooo's de-priiiived, while I'm getting all the aaaa-ction! Nananananaaaanaaa!**

**Me: (Sweatdrops) Good to see you're taking the high road with this. (Cracks whip) AND FINALLY, CAKE NUMBER FOUR! **

**Ichigo: THat hurt dammit! (Rubs back before wheeling out cake) Ichigo do this, Ichigo do that...**

**Me: Just do it! (He then rolls out a two layer cake, red with black icing, and Renji's tattoo marks on the side. The bottom layer has chibi versions of Ichigo and Toshiro praying and at the top it has Renji and Byakuya doing a reenactment of the episode when Renji fought Byakuya in his bankai and he gets impaled by Byakuya's swords, with black words saying "He who dates Rukia will not see the next rising sun!".)**

**Ichigo: (Laughs uncontrollably) That poor dumbass! Being hot for a Kuchiki'll do that to ya, i guess.**

**Me: (Rolls eyes) Well, anyway. He PMed me about them and they were too funny and creative not to share. **

**Ichigo: (Points at readers) WE CHALLENGE THEE TO MAKE CAKES CREATIVELY!**

**Me: ...We do? Whatever. Thanks for all the reviews, good luck with college Ryu, good luck with your horrifying homework im a kitty that luvz sweets, thanks for the encouragement as far as high school goes, good luck with your sequel Ishihackaloogie, good luck with your second chapp (which i look forward to reading) Jennifurball, and ALLof you...Enjoy!**

**

* * *

**

Peyton woke up to hear clanging. Why was she hearing clanging? She kept her eyes closed and wondered what the hell was clanging around.

...Was Yuzu cooking something?

OR...was she fixing a huge batch of Pepto for Peyton's totally empty stomach?

_NO WAY! _No way in heaven, hell, Soul Society or even goddamn Neverland was she drinking more of that medical pink crap in a bottle!

_And y'all can't make me!_ She thought smugly, seriously pondering from which angle to attack Ichigo if he tried to pin her down again.

The Strawberry bastard. Her vomiting was all...his...FAULT!

She probably would've dumped any other guy for that. Just saying.

But like THAT would happen. Now that she thought about it...she didn't SMELL Pepto cooking. Though she had no idea what the hell cooking Pepto smelled like.

She imagined it was worse than that time she, Ichigo, and Karin placed bets on whether or not Kon could fart in his usual form.

...Unfortunately, Peyton and Ichigo won that one.

And it nearly killed them all, it gave her nightmares...it was bad.

Well, sitting there started to get a bit boring, so she blinked real quickly to get the sleepers out of her eyes and slowly sat up, head pounding.

"Unngh. Well, THAT sucks," she muttered, rubbing the side of her head tenderly.

"Hi."

Peyton slowly turned her head to glare at him, pointing at him ominously. "...YOU."

* * *

Ichigo laughed nervously and crawled backwards on the couch so he was as far away as possible without flipping right off.

"U-Uhhh, let's not do anything we'll regret-"

"It's a bit late for that, because you're SO about to regret pinning me down to make me take that damn Pepto!" She snapped.

"Hey, Peyton, don't overexert yourself, you're still sick- AHHHH!" He shouted as she moved to tackle him, reaching for his throat with her spare hand.

"Go Peyton go!" Yuzu and Isshin cheered from the kitchen, making her pause thoughtfully. "When'd _you_ get home, Isshin?"

"Oh, a little while ago! I can't BELIEVE my son DARED to make you endure such horrible treatment!" He bellowed.

Ichigo sweatdropped. "I was TRYING to get her to feeling better and...y'know, less homicidal."

"News flash, you failed," Peyton replied cheerfully as she successfully pinned him down. "Aw, c'mon, can't we negotiate? Hey, we could _totally _use this position to our advantage," he pointed out in a desperate attempt to save his ass.

"NOT in the mood, hot is the LAST thing I feel at the moment," she replied, raising her fist.

Ichigo braced himself for a new black eye, but then she simply smacked him upside the head and stayed sitting on top of him.

"...That's it? That's all you're gonna do?"

"For the time being. I'm gonna get revenge when you least expect it," she informed him dangerously, sliding off of him much to his obvious dislike.

"...Oh, you're good."

"I know. MUAHAHAHAHAAA- Holy crap, SOUP!" She exclaimed as Yuzu strolled in with a moderately-sized bowl of steaming soup.

* * *

Isshin soon pranced in after her, decked out in her kitten-covered pink apron with flowers as stitching, carrying a huge pot of the aforementioned soup haphazardly.

Ichigo sweatdropped. "...This image...will be forever etched into my brain, Dad."

He set the pot down carefully before beaming and holding out the skirt part of the frilly apron. "Isn't it awesomesauce, son? Yuzu says it makes my eyes POP!"

Peyton nodded brightly after thanking Yuzu as she handed her the smaller bowl. "She's so right, it does!"

"Kissass."

_**BAM!**_

"Ow! Dammit, Peyton, don't waste your energy on me!"

She stuck her tongue out at him before swallowing some soup, Isshin and Yuzu watching her with a wide-eyed, tense silence.

Peyton grinned, sighing contentedly. "MUCH better, thanks guys."

They jumped up and high-fived each other comically, pointing to the ceiling heroically like cheesy superheroes. "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, TEAM KUROSAKI!"

"Team Kurosaki is a team of JUST you two, right?" Ichigo asked, sweatdropping.

Peyton smirked. "You really think they'd put YOU on Team Kurosaki? You'd tarnish their good name and reputation!"

"Very true," he replied thoughtfully, stealing a cracker and dipping it in her soup. She didn't even bother slapping his hand away.

Hopefully her germs were floating around in that soup and he'd get as sick as her so she could force HIM to take Pepto and laugh maniacally as he vomited all over the place.

Ichigo sweatdropped as she sighed dreamily, staring off into the distance. "...You're plotting a way to seek vengeance against me, aren't you."

"Little bit."

"Awesome."

"AwesomeSAUCE," she corrected before stealing his second cracker and dipping it in her soup.

He sweatdropped again at how smug she looked as she ate it. "...Oh no, not the cracker. How on EARTH will I go on?" He asked in a monotone voice.

She patted his shoulder comfortingly. "I know how close you two were. I think with time, and a little bit of counseling, you can get through this. WE can get through this. TOGETHERRRR!" She wailed, sniffling and sighing melodramatically.

Ichigo just laughed to himself and shook his head. "And this is why I love you."

She beamed and ate some more soup. "Who the hell knows why I love YOU, but I like just going with it."

"Awesomesauce!"

"Indeed." And with that, they clinked their glasses together as she ignored the churning of her poor stomach.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****DAYS LATER...**_

"Okay, okay. I MIGHT be able to make the deadline of this damn wedding!" Lindsay declared. Peyton watched from her older sister's bed as she flitted around the room, making marks on blueprints and pinning things on dresses.

"By how much?"

"The hairs on my chin."

"I thought you said you shaved those?" Peyton mused, making Lindsay's temple throb. "Hey, Bloaty McGee, shut your trap!"

"I'M NOT BLOATED _NOW_, AM I, SMARTASS?"

Miya knocked on the door hesitantly. "I hear battle noises, is it safe to enter?" She asked.

"Yeah!" They said cheerfully.

Miya strolled in, as graceful as usual, smiling pleasantly. "Lindsay, would it be too much of a bother if we pushed the wedding back a little?"

"How far?" Peyton wondered.

"April 14th. It just looks better than March, your sister seems so stressed and frantic lately," She said gently, eyebrows laced together with concern at Lindsay, who was STILL pacing fretfully.

The eldest Cullen sister pretty much bowed at Miya's feet. "OH THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUUUU! OHMIGOD, I NEARLY DIED!"

The other two sweatdropped, and Nanaw happened to be passing by. "YA KNOW, from the _noises _I heard one day, you would've thought someone was dying a really enjoyable death, ehhh Peyton?"

"SHUT UP NANAW, THAT IS _TOTALLY _OFF-LIMITS AS A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION!" Peyton screeched, turning about eight different shades of red in under thirty consecutive seconds.

Miya and Lindsay tried hard not to laugh as Nanaw shrugged and continued down the hall. "Whatever you say, kid. I can't wait for summer!"

Peyton's temple throbbed. "I'm sure you can't. Goddamn cougars, running wild in my family tree...What're _y'all _looking at?" She snapped, making the other two just about roll around with laughter and giggles.

"BAHAHAHA! SHE CAUGHT YOU IN THE ACT!" Lindsay exclaimed.

Peyton pointed at Miya accusingly. "Like YOU can laugh your ass off, she's caught you and dad too!"

"Yeah, but we're ENGAGED and OVERAGE! Plus, I'm not as cute as you when you get embarrassed," Miya replied between giggles.

Peyton just sighed and stomped off. "I'm going for a walk, dammit!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**SIX ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Go-old lion's gonna tell me where the light is...Go-old lion's gonna tell me where the light is...Ta-ake our hands outta control...Ta-ake..." Peyton trailed off, lowering the volume on her iPod.

She hated interrupting "Gold Lion" by The Yeah Yeah Yeahs with a passion, it was so catchy, but she felt uneasy.

Like she was being watched.

She hadn't felt that in a long time.

Peyton glanced around, wondering what kind of dumbass prank she was falling for this time. Damn Ichigo and Renji, they got more clever every time.

"Come on out, you guys, I know you're there," she demanded to the air. Then again, she didn't sense their reiatsu. There WAS a strong reiatsu nearby, but it wasn't one she recognized.

She heard a twig snap and rolled her eyes. "Great. I've walked right into the cheesiest of all horror movie scenarios."

Suddenly, a Hollow appeared, roaring menacingly. Peyton smirked. "You just think you're soooo badass, don't you? Compared to the Iga Klan or me when I'm hungry, you're no big cheese," she informed him as she dodged two swipes.

He managed to claw her shoulder a little deep, and Peyton groaned. "Great, now you're gonna make me have to use _energy_," she accused as she felt the familiar hum of her reiatsu.

_Jeez, I haven't had to use this in forever,_ she mused as she just barely dodged another swipe and struck an electrified blow across the monster's chest.

Peyton couldn't help but smile to herself as she struck one of his arms, cutting it off at the bulky wrist.

_It feels good._

Ichigo and Rukia showed up about three seconds later, right after she got another scratch across her cheek, and he ran right in there and delivered the final blow, making her huff.

"...Had to be the hero, huh."

He grinned. "Like I'd let you take all the credit. Jeez, Peyton, I thought you knew me."

"Unfortunately, I know you pretty damn well," was her reply as Rukia sighed in disappointment. "Damn. I eased into a sprint for nothing. What a weak Hollow."

Peyton sighed as well. "How do you think I feel? Couldn't even finish him off because of a certain SHOWOFF," she commented, smacking Ichigo upside the head as emphasis.

"Ow!"

The two girls ignored him. "Hey, I'm hungry, wanna go eat something?"

"Sure."

Ichigo sweatdropped as they just left him there. "Uh...No, sorry, can't go, but THANKS FOR ASKING!"

"NO PROBLEM!" They shouted back innocently.

He huffed and stomped in the opposite direction. "Fine. BE that way."

Peyton decided the person whose reiatsu she sensed must have been some other Soul Reaper or something. Someone she hadn't met before.

That would be the only reason they were watching her, that she knew of. If not that, then...who?

* * *

Ichigo was about halfway down the street when Shinji fell into stride with him. "Ichigo."

"Yeah."

"About Peyton..."

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "If you're gonna declare your undying love or something again, lemme know now so I can find a good place to vomit."

He didn't even smirk, his expression didn't change at all. "I'm serious."

"...Oh. What then?"

"It's about...what she can do. That energy..."

"What about it?"

"Something about this just doesn't seem right." Ichigo eyed him suspiciously. "Whaddaya mean?"

"Well...Let's face it. Her abilities are...to put it quite simply...pretty damn badass considering she doesn't even have a zanpakuto or anything of the sort. How can someone with that kind of power not be sought out by one enemy or another?"

"I don't get it."

"It worries me that things are so calm." Shinji glanced around, as did Ichigo. It _was _pretty peaceful lately.

He hadn't considered it a bad thing before, but now that the damn Vizard mentioned it, it did seem almost _too _calm around here.

"Like the calm before the storm," Ichigo suggested.

Shinji nodded. "Exactly. I'm just saying, we should be careful. A power like that, any power really, never goes unnoticed. Someone's always waiting on the sidelines to try and abuse them, and twist them into something beyond their control."

"Like Aizen?"

"No, I wouldn't go so far as to suggest him. I don't think this is anything of his doing, and if it is, he's not doing a damn good job. He would've showed himself by now. I just...feel a bit uneasy with this."

As if on cue, a particularly chilly wind picked up around them, and Shinji frowned. "You can just feel it in the air. It's too calm around here, I'm telling you."

Ichigo nodded. "I get what you mean. I feel it too. I'll keep an eye on her."

Shinji rolled his eyes. "Duh. Tell me something I didn't already know, Kurosaki. Since when do you NOT have an eye on her?"

Ichigo scowled, and he chuckled before clapping him on the back. "Not like anyone could blame ya. She's smokin'," he commented, moving his hands down through the air, forming the international sign for "curvaceous" or "perfect bod".

"Hey, watch yourself, Shinji!" Ichigo shouted as he bounded off. Shinji simply held up a hand in acknowledgement, not even bothering to turn to face him.

Ichigo shook his head. "Gimme the strength not to kill him."

"I think he's funny, Itsygo!"

His jaw dropped as he slowly turned around and looked down. He was promptly more-or-less glomped to death.

"NEL? WHAT THE HELL ARE _YOU _DOING HERE?"


	76. Ben & Jerry's And MasoKissInism

**Ichigo: ...You SUCK.**

**Me: Aw c'mon, we all love Nel, don't we? Not much else to say, really, it's only been about an hour since i posted the last chapp. But obviously everyone likes Nel's arrival, from what I've heard so far, so ENJOY!**

* * *

"ITSYGO! NEL MISSED YOU SOOOO MUCH!" Nel squealed while sobbing against him, nearly choking him to death.

"Yeah...I can...see that...LET GO DAMMIT!" He managed to gasp out.

Nel let go after a few moments, scurrying around until she was on his shoulders. "Let's go!"

"Go where?"

"Wherever you were going! C'mon, let's GOOOO!"

Ichigo sighed heavily. "_Fiiine_...Wait, WAIT. What the hell are you _doing _here?" Nel shrugged her tiny shoulders. "I dunno. There was an opening, so I went thwough it! And den I saw you, and I felt happy!"

His temple throbbed as she squeezed his neck some more. "That explains where that random Hollow came from."

"Oh, yeah. We raced!" She announced proudly before drooping. "And he won."

"I noticed."

Her childish voice suddenly took on a sly tone. "Saaaay, who's dat girl I saw hit you? The one with the bwight red hair?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Ichigo said innocently, hoping to God Nel and Peyton never ever EVER met.

She pouted. "Iss not polite to keep secwets, Itsygo. So, for dat..." She dug her feet into him and bounced excitedly. "Giddyup, horsie!"

Ichigo's temple throbbed as she kept doing that until he gave in and picked up the pace. "Dammit."

"SAAAAYYY...You wanna play 'Eternal Tag' again?"

"HELL NO!"

"YOU'RE NO FUUUUN, ITSYGO! YOU KNOW THAT'S MY FAVORITE GAME!"

"LIKE I GIVE A DAMN!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**LATER****...**_

_**KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK.**_

"Ichigo?"

"GAH! U-Uhhhh, don't come in here!" He exclaimed spastically.

Peyton's eyebrows shot up, and she immediately attempted to pick the lock to his bedroom door. "Why?"

"Because, I, uhh...have..SWINE FLU! Yes, I have swine flu, aaand.."

She rolled her eyes. "You're gonna have to do better than that!" She shouted as she got the door open, only to have five deadbolts keep it from opening much further.

Peyton's temple throbbed. "You got another woman in there or what?"

"N-Nooo, just- GAH, DON'T COME IN, YOU'LL FOREVER REGRET IT!" He shouted as she simply broke the deadbolts and strolled in.

She looked around the empty room, eyeing him skeptically. "Okay, let's see...The room's empty...Your clothes are still on...No stains on the bed or anything...You look totally fine...What the hell's the problem?"

As if on cue, his closet door slid open, and a...ball of...green..._something_ flew into Ichigo's chest, making him yell as he fell over onto his bed.

A little kid with cool hair and a green gown was currently scurrying all over him, up onto his shoulders.

Her eyes, under which was a horizontal red slash, narrowed as she glared at Peyton.

"Whoss _dis_, Itsygo? She looks like the girl I saw wiff dat Hollow and you...and the OTHER Shinigami.."

She shuddered at the mention of Soul Reapers, making Peyton sweatdrop. "I could ask you something along those lines. Who're you?"

"I'M Nel. Itsygo's bestest fwiend. What about YOU?"

She shrugged. "I'm Peyton. His girlfriend."

Nel's eyes grew to the size of saucers, staring at her for a moment before slowly looking at Ichigo. "...SHE _LIES_, ITSYGO!"

He sighed and shook his head. "Nope. Sorry, Nel."

The poor kid flat-out bawled, pounding on his back. "ITSYGO! HOW COULD YOU? AFTER NEL CAME ALLLL DIS WAAAY TO VISIT YOU IN THE HUMAN WORLD, AND YOU WENT AND GOT YOUWSELF A GIRLFWIEND? WHYYYYYY WOULD YOU DOOO THAT TO NEEELLL?"

Peyton watched with wide eyes, and Ichigo sweatdropped. "...Told ya not to come in."

* * *

Nel started rolling around on his bed, still wailing. "NOW YOU WON'T HAVE TIME FOR NEL! ISS NOT FAAAIIIRRR!"

Peyton cleared her throat. "Hey, Nel. Nel. NEL!"

"YOU STAY OUTTA THIS, TOOTS!"

"NEL! Ichigo'll have _plenty_ of time for you!"

Still wailing a little, Nel looked over at her. "...He...He will?"

Peyton nodded. "Oh, absolutely. In FACT..." Ichigo's face fell. "Peyton, don't, please I beg of you-"

"IN FACT, I should probably just leave and let him have some time with you. There's all KINDS of things around Karakura you can do, _riiiiight_ Ichigo?"

He was too busy glaring at her to answer. Nel hopped onto his head, grinning from ear to ear. "Come ONNNN, Itsygo! Giddyup! Ya know...For a girlfwiend, she sure doesn't seem to like you vewy much."

"I'm gonna kill you for this," Ichigo hissed to his aforementioned girlfriend as he walked past her.

"Payback's a pain in the arse, isn't it?"

"Why you little-"

"ITSYGO, FASTERRR!" Nel commanded, digging her heels into his sides.

"DAMMIT ALL TO HELL!"

"Love you too!" Peyton shouted after him, laughing and shaking her head as Nel started asking him to "pway some Eternal Tag NOOOW".

Kon crept up to her, nudging her leg. "Hey. Looks like you've got some _competition_!"

_**BAM!**_

"I DO _NOT_!"

"I'M SO-O-RRRYYY!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"What're you doing here? ...With no sign of Ichigo?" Rukia asked as she noticed Peyton humming to herself and coloring in a coloring book on the floor of the Kurosaki den.

She glanced up, temple throbbing. "I got ditched for a little kid with cool hair and a skull on her head."

Rukia did a Spazzy Wet Noodle Dance. "HE DUMPED YOU?"

"N-NO! WHY WOULD HE?" She asked, beyond annoyed with people jumping to that conclusion.

Rukia laughed nervously. "O-Ohh, no reason really, just...you said DITCHED, and I thought you said DUMPED, and...Nel's here?"

"Yeeeep."

The Soul Reaper sighed and plopped down next to her, ripping out a Chappy coloring page from her own coloring book and borrowing some crayons.

"I feel your pain."

Peyton sweatdropped. "What pain? He's just off being miserable and succumbing to the needs of a little kid."

Rukia snorted a laugh. "Nel's no kid. That's just her FORM."

"...What?"

"She's REALLY a curvaceous, full-figured woman with flowing teal hair and respectable battle tactics who happens to have a major attachment to Ichigo."

Peyton stared down at her page, sweatdropping a few times, before wailing "WHY DOES FATE HATE ME?"

Rukia stood up and ran to the fridge. "I'll get the Ben & Jerry's, you find a gory movie!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**AN ****HOUR LATER...**_

"Hey, is Ichigo here?" Renji asked before sweatdropping.

Rukia and Peyton were currently digging into a HUGE pint of Ben & Jerry's (almost as big as the one from Scary Movie 3, one of Peyton's favorite movies), watching with maniacal grins as they watched Silent Hill.

"I can't _wait _till Alessa gives them what they deserve," Rukia said in an ominous voice.

Peyton nodded evilly before noticing Renji and smiling brightly. "Hi Renji! What's up?"

"What the hell're you guys doing?"

Peyton didn't answer, stabbing her spoon into her ice cream instead. Rukia looked over at him. "Nel's in town."

It took him a minute, but then he started laughing. "HAHAHAHA! Looks like Peyton's got some compe- GAAAH!" He shrieked as she threw a mace at him, which he just barely dodged.

It did tear a chunk out of his shirt, though. He jumped back, gaping at her.

"DON'T you dare finish that sentence, unless you never want to have children." As if to emphasize her threat, the mace happened to have gotten a bit of his belt, and his pants slid to his knees, revealing light red polka-dotted boxers.

He spastically yanked them back up, and they suddenly heard giggling. "Itsygo, did you see that? The Pineapple Shinigami just got PANTSED! AND HE HAS VEWY FEMININE UNDERWEAR!"

Rukia and Renji immediately grabbed Peyton. "HOLD HER DOWN, HOLD HER DOWN!" Renji shrieked, still fumbling at his pants spastically.

In walked Ichigo, Nel perched comfortably on his head as if she owned it. Which...everyone knew that Ichigo's ass was TOTALLY Peyton's, and Peyton's alone.

Peyton simply returned to coloring, humming as if she didn't have a care in the world. Which, in turn, made Rukia and Renji tremble in fear.

Ichigo slowed to a stop, eyeing Peyton suspiciously. "Why're you so cheerful? It scares me."

Nel hopped off his head and scrambled over to Peyton's side. "Whatcha DOOOO-in'?"

"Coloring," she said in a voice so calm everyone else just KNEW she had some evil plan formulated to make Ichigo pay dearly for whatever the hell he did to her in her homicidal mind.

"Ooooh! Can I color, too?"

"Sure. After all, you're just a kid. JUST...a kid. RIGHT, Ichigo?" She said in a clipped voice. Ichigo's face fell, and he drooped.

"Ahhhh, CRAP. I'm dead, aren't I?"

"BEYOND dead."

Nel noticed Rukia's picture and shuddered. "Ugghhh...That Chappy wabbit scares me to DEATH."

Peyton nearly dropped her crayon as she swiveled her head to look at the little kid. "...It DOES? OHMIGOD, YOU UNDERSTAND ME!"

* * *

She practically squeezed the life out of her, and Nel ran her hands through her hair, tugging on the strands. "Does this mean you'll play with me?"

"Absolutely! BUT FIRST..." Peyton slowly stood, advancing towards Ichigo, who gulped and held up his hands in surrender.

"Now, Peyton...Remember, I love you _very _much...and you love _me _very much...and...and...SOMEONE HELP ME!" He shrieked as he ran out the door, Peyton not far behind.

Everyone watched as she tackled him to the ground, and an epic battle begun. Rukia cringed while grinning evilly and eating some more ice cream.

Renji was laughing his ass of between bites of cake AND ice cream.

Kon sighed heavily and shook his head. "And here I thought I was gonna be the rebound boy."

Nel simply clapped her hands gleefully, giggling maniacally. "GOOOO ITSYGO'S GIRLFWIEND! AGAIN, AGAIN, AGAIN!"

"NEL, I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR BESTEST FRIEND!"

"NEL LOVE ITSYGO, BUT ITSYGO DESERVES A SMACK-DOWN ONCE IN A WHILE! ONE DAY YOU'LL SEE, MASO-KISS-INISM IS FUN!"

"STOP SAYING THE M-WORD!"


	77. Reiatsu? What's Wrong With Itsygo?

**Me: Not that it was hard to predict, but i was right, people definitely loved Nel!**

**Ichigo: Obviously I'm not included in this list of "people", Mandy.**

**Me: Are you ever? Well, you're gonna hate me for ending this chapp where i did. It's a bit inhumane to do such a thing. **

**Ichigo: Then again, whoever thinks of YOU as HUMANE is a dumbass.**

**Me: True. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Ichigooo?"

"WHAT, Peyton."

She smiled innocently. "I'm sorry." "No you're not, but that's fine. Still, it hurts like hell," he muttered, pressing the ice pack harder against the side of his head.

Peyton looked around to make sure everyone was preoccupied. Nel and Rukia were watching the gory movie formally known as Hostel Part II while criticizing their attacks, and Renji was trying to invent his own flavor of ice cream with Yuzu in the kitchen using tons of Ben & Jerry's.

She leaned closer to him and kissed his neck, her lips lingering there for a minute. "Hey, look on the bright side. You get your cast off tomorrow, which will make it easier to do lots of..._things_," she practically purred, running her fingers along the aforementioned cast.

He shivered, then grinned. "You know just what to say. That's the beauty of having an equally-perverted girlfriend."

She grinned back, shrugging. "It's a gift."

Nel made a face as Ichigo kissed her cheek. "Itsygo, that's disgusting!"

"IS NOT!" Peyton and Ichigo shouted.

"IS TOO! ITSYGO'S GIRLFWIEND, WHAT IF HE HAS COOTIES? DID YA EVER THINK OF DAT?"

Ichigo's temple throbbed as Peyton gasped dramatically with horror. "Oh, Nel, you're right! No more kissing for you, you Cootie Queen!"

"Who you callin' Cootie Queen, ya Lint Licker?" He replied, making them laugh at each other.

Nel scratched her skull mask thoughtfully, while Rukia sweatdropped. "Itsygo and Itsygo's girlfwiend...they confuse me."

"They confuse us all," she replied.

"Sometimes we wonder if they're even human!" Renji shouted from the kitchen.

"SHUT UP RENJI, NO ONE ASKED YOU!" They shouted back, making Nel giggle. "Itsygo and Itsygo's girlfwiend make funny faces when they're angwy."

"Don't they?" Yuzu replied cheerfully as they heard a mini-explosion, followed by her and Renji saying "IT'S OKAY, NO ONE DIED, NOTHING'S ON FIRE!"

Ichigo sweatdropped, and Peyton laughed as he pulled her closer, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"Ahhh, Saturdays."

* * *

Over the next few days, Peyton felt more and more uneasy. She almost constantly felt like someone was watching her, and she didn't like it.

When they were at school, it wasn't so bad since she had Ichigo and their friends with her. And some afternoons, she'd be over at Matsumoto and Orihime's, or screwing around with Nel trying to pull pranks on Ichigo.

But at night...

She felt like someone was in the room with her. Watching her sleep. It was odd. It was like...like... "My personal Edward Cullen, and it sucks huge monkey balls," She told Lindsay thoughtfully on the way to school on the fifth day.

"Hmm...That's odd. Are you sure you're just not being paranoid?" She asked carefully, not really seeming that concerned.

Not that Peyton blamed her. The whole thing sounded pretty bizarre, even to her. Almost made up.

She shook her head quickly. "No. No, it's not just me. I can feel it still, right now. It makes me nervous. I sense them, but I can't recognize their reiatsu."

Lindsay cocked an eyebrow. "Whaddaya mean 'sense them' and 'recognize their reiatsu'?"

Peyton sweatdropped. _Damn, I keep forgetting she knows almost NOTHING about all this spirit lingo. It'd be so much easier if she did, but...Nah. It's not my information to give, I'm no Soul Reaper._

"Psychic stuff. Hard to explain."

"Ohhh, okay!"

_Thank God she's so gullible._

Peyton let out a quiet sigh of relief before her eyes widened as she felt the reiatsu rise a little. She whirled around, looking for the source, but she didn't see anything.

_But...I can feel it..._

"P? You okay?" Lindsay asked carefully. Now she sounded really worried. Peyton's eyes quickly flitted around, assessing the area, before she nodded slowly.

"...Fine..."

_What the hell's going on around here?_

_**

* * *

**_

_**SEVEN ****HOURS LATER...**_

She heard it again; the twigs snapping. Peyton turned to her right, gritting her teeth. It was almost like whoever it was was just screwing with her for the hell of it.

Actually, that's EXACTLY what it was like.

Why was she walking alone anyways? Well, Ichigo was dumb enough to get himself dragged into Academic Support with Keigo and Rukia (don't ask how the hell that happened, he never mentioned that part and it all happened while she was running an errand for Okiwura).

Lindsay had hitched a ride with Keigo, so she was out too. Seth had stayed home sick today, somehow catching the same thing Peyton had.

She decided the best thing to do was to walk just a little faster and try to ignore it. Peyton had just turned onto her street when something ran right in front of her, dressed all in black.

_I refuse to scream,_ She insisted, briefly closing her eyes.

It had looked almost EXACTLY like...No, nope, no way, she and Senna had pretty much killed them all off entirely.

Peyton kept walking, only to have something run in front of her again. And this time, it hissed. That's right, she heard a hiss.

Directed towards _her_, no less!

_Get in the house, get in the house, just keep walking, just keep waaaalk- JUST KEEP SWIMMING, JUST KEEP SWIMMING, JUST KEEP SWIMMING, SWIMMING, SWIMMING! WHAT DO WE DO, WE-_

She paused her mental nervous breakdown as something tried to snatch her keys right out of her hand, and she nearly dropped them herself.

"WE PAAANIC, WE PAAAANIC!" She sang to the tune of Dory's song as she flung the door open and slid inside, slamming it shut.

She braced herself against it, breathing hard, her heart thudding like mad in her chest. Nanaw was sitting on the couch, and simply clicked her tongue.

"...Did that Hunk Muffin try to grab your ass or somethin'?"

"Nanaw, not now, just NOT NOW!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

He felt anxious. He had no idea why, but he did. Ichigo felt like something was wrong, and he just couldn't understand why.

He tapped his pencil at an almost inhuman speed, wishing he had just turned in the damn homework.

But NO. Nel just HAD to use THAT ESSAY SHEET for her "wonderful rendewing of Itsygo and Itsygo's girlfwiend", in which he got hit by a bus and she and Peyton were pointing at him, safely on the sidewalk, laughing hysterically.

So now he was in stupid Academic Support, thanks to the newly-enforced No Zeroes Accepted Policy.

Instead of getting away with not turning something in, you were sent to Academic Support and had to do the work there.

Or, like Keigo, you got it for being a douche and trying to copy Ichigo's homework he had tried to do in class, making Rukia announce to the WHOLE WORLD they were cheating.

...So she could try and get away with copying Chad's. Needless to say, the whole damn thing backfired for them all.

Maybe it was the expression on Peyton's face that worried him. When she left homeroom with just Tatsuki (Matsumoto and Orihime were staying after to tutor freshman for extra credit after Keigo tried to drag them down with them), she looked...nervous.

Which kind of made sense, since Tatsuki lived closer to school, which meant she'd have to walk by herself most of the way.

But she had never been real nervous about that before. As long as she had her iPod with her, she was fine.

So why was she so nervous _today_?

Once the damn teacher passed his desk, he checked his phone anxiously. No messages._ Wait, what time is it?_

He rolled his eyes at his stupidity and checked his phone again. Thirty minutes left. AWESOME.

Ichigo nodded to himself. _Alright, I won't check the clock for a loooong time, and see how many minutes have passed. YEAH!_

So he worked. And waited. And made pencil towers. And waited. And tried not to strangle the senior behind him that was making sound effects.

...And waited.

"Hey, ma'am, may I use the bathroom?" The aforementioned senior asked suddenly.

* * *

Everyone turned to look at him, the teacher included. "Feel free to leave, just know you can't come back and none of your work counts."

"But...that makes no sense!"

"Take it up with your Administrator."

"But...jeez, you guys act like I can control my bodily functions! I can't control when I have to take a dump and when I dont!"

"Well, I'm sorry! I don't make the rules!"

"Well ya SHOULD."

"You wanna leave right now? I don't get paid to deal with this!"

"And I dont get paid to have to CRAP, but I still do it!"

"That's it, either be quiet or LEAVE, and you can tell the Administrator of your grade your complaints."

He sat lower in his seat and started huffing, and as she walked away he started mumbling, "Fine, I'll stay dammit, but my pants are gonna have a HUGE-ass stain. there's gonna be shit all over the floor, it's gonna smell bad, we'll have to evacuate, you'll have to call a fumigator, and ALL BECAUSE...I...couldn't go...TO THE GODDAMN SHITTER!"

At this point, everyone was trying to hide behind their books as they laughed, and Ichigo kind of smirked to himself.

Until he checked the clock.

Only two minutes had passed, if that.

He slapped his hands against the desk in fury. "God...DAMMIT!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**LATER ****THAT NIGHT...**_

Shinji nodded as Urahara tipped his hat in acknowledgement. "Got any news for me about what I asked you about?"

"Peyton and that reiatsu?"

He nodded, and Yoruichi folded her arms across her middle. "Unfortunately. See, she snuck onto a mission into Soul Society, led by Captain Kuchiki, worried about Ichigo and the others. During that mission, they encountered the Iga Clan."

Shinji looked down at the books spread across the table thoughtfully. "The Iga Clan? Rings a bell, but..."

"Ninja assassins. They were masters at bending auras, and only Peyton and Senna, the Memory Rosary, could see them."

"So...What does that have to do with anything?"

Yoruichi sighed. "The Iga Clan lost its leader and most of its tribe that night. We read about a _similar _incident centuries ago, in which the Igas found they could form an alliance with Hollows in Hueco Mundo. Which would explain how Nel found a hole to come through to find Ichigo."

"Uh-huh...And...This has to do with Peyton because...?"

* * *

Ichigo continued to stare up at the ceiling, focusing on her reiatsu. He was convinced something wasn't right, but didn't want to crawl through Peyton's window like a creeper.

Besides...The last time he did that, he nearly got raped by Nanaw, so he kind of learned his lesson.

"Itsygo's been lookin' like dat for such a long time," Nel whispered to Rukia.

"Ichigo, get some sleep. She's fine. Her reiatsu's fine. No one wants to deal with your wrath if you stay up all night."

He scowled at the ceiling and turned over, closing his eyes. It didn't matter what Rukia said, he'd still be concentrating on it.

He did it all the time; he could fall asleep just fine.

Knowing she was there, feeling her reiatsu, was enough most of the time.

* * *

Peyton stared up at the ceiling, taking deep breaths. She didn't feel the eyes on her tonight. It made her more nervous than if she _had_.

Something wasn't right. Something was there with her. She felt it, even if she didn't feel its eyes on her this time.

Peyton nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard tapping on her window. She sighed and crawled out of bed, trudging towards her window. "Ichigo...It's too late at night for this, I don't CARE if you just got your cast off two days ago, NOT TONIGHT.."

* * *

Urahara glanced out his window anxiously. "You said it yourself; the girl's a powerhouse. She can bend auras as well. Can you imagine what kind of immense power the Clan would have...if they could fuse her powers with theirs AND Hollows? If they could harness her abilities for their own use, as a sort of punishment for leaving them leaderless, perhaps?"

* * *

Peyton opened her window with a moody sigh. "I hope you're prepared to go without your manly needs fulfilled, Ichigo Kurosaki, because I am SO TIRED, and you don't even wanna KNOW what kind of crazy crap I put up with today!"

She looked around, sweatdropping. "...Ichigo?"

Suddenly, she felt something grab her wrist, tugging her down. She felt herself slide through the window, the ground got closer, and at the last minute she was pulled up.

Just like that, she felt pressure on her head, and everything went black.

* * *

"So you're saying...The Iga Clan, a clan of ninjas...Is looking for power in the form of Peyton and a few Hollows...and she's at risk?"

* * *

Ichigo was almost asleep when just like that, her reiatsu disappeared. Gone. Out of nowhere.

He shot straight up as if a gun had been set off. "No, no way, no way in hell!"

"Itsygo, what's wrong with Itsygo?" Nel asked frantically as he sprung into action, turning Soul Reaper and opening his window.

Rukia looked worried. "Her reiatsu...It disappeared."

"Whose? Itsygo's girlfriend? What does that mean?"

"It means I was right, and I'm a complete idiot!" Ichigo answered as he jumped onto the roof, onto the street, heading straight for Peyton's house.

* * *

Everyone jumped with wide eyes as her reiatsu, the one they had all been monitoring so carefully during their conversation, suddenly dropped completely, disappearing without so much as a warning.

Shinji sighed and shook his head, gripping his zanpakuto's hilt.

"Dammit, I hate it when I'm right."


	78. Where Are You?

**Me: Back from the cliffie! Couldn't sleep for whatever reason, started typing this at 3, and an hour and 24 minutes later, here it is!**

**Ichigo: Thank God for insomnia. That cliffhanger just about made me wanna stab my eyes out with a fork.**

**Me: 0_0 ...Lovely. Thanks, Ichigo. (Slides plate of Awesomesauce Cake away from me) Made me lose my appetite, you bastard.**

**Ichigo: Hey, take it easy on me! My girlfriend just got kidnapped!**

**Me: ...Oh. Right. Sorry! Here. (Hands Ichigo strawberry-flavored cake with never-melting strawberry ice cream on top, ALSO courtesy of Squee)**

**Ichigo: Oh hell yes! I officially love Squee! **

**Me: Y'know, she ALSO nearly fell off her bed when she saw that commercial for new Bleach episodes! Good to know I'm not the only one who had a total fangirl-cardiac-arrest moment!**

**Ichigo: (Busy eating cake) OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM**

**Me: 0_0 (Sweatdrops) ...Enjoy.**

* * *

Ichigo was not-so-shockingly the first to get there, Rukia and Nel not far behind. Peyton's window was wide open, and he knew as much as anybody that she wasn't there, but he went up to look anyway.

While climbing up after him, Rukia noticed some blood on the ground. It wasn't enough to be even close to fatal, and decided it would probably be best to not mention it at all.

Ichigo losing his head this soon was the last thing anyone needed.

But after seeing her room, she couldn't help but wonder out loud, "Doesn't it look like foul play was involved?"

Ichigo sweatdropped. "Actually, it looks like throwing off the covers and stomping towards the window thinking it was me was involved."

"Has that happened before?"

"Don't EVEN go there," he replied, shuddering at the thought. Rukia sweatdropped. "O...Kay then."

"Ichigo, Rukia! You felt it too?" Matsumoto called softly from the ground as Toshiro tried not to stare at the same blood Rukia found.

"Gee, what do YOU think?" Rukia replied, jerking her thumb in Ichigo's direction.

Matsumoto and Rukia surveyed the area around the same time Urahara, Yoruichi, and Shinji came into view off down the road.

"You _all_ felt it?" Toshiro wondered.

"We were monitoring it out of concern for her safety. Tell them, Kisuke."

Ichigo's gaze snapped over to Urahara. "You knew this was gonna happen? Are you fricking kidding me? And you didn't DO ANYTHING?"

Hat-And-Clogs held up his hands in surrender. "Gimme a chance to explain this all to you, Ichigo. We weren't POSITIVE this was going to happen, and if we were, what good would we do? We can't see the Iga Clan with our own eyes, and would be completely useless against them. Peyton would still be gone."

"Wait, the Iga Clan? I thought they were pretty much wiped out," Rukia said carefully.

"They were. Just like they were 700 years ago, when they found it easy to manipulate and form alliances with Hollows," Yoruichi replied, her tone dead serious and laced with worry.

"Hollows. Are they...taking her to Hueco Mundo?" Toshiro asked.

Matsumoto sighed heavily, rubbing her temple. "Ohhhh DAMMIT, _they_ pulled an Aizen and _she_ pulled an Orihime!"

* * *

Everyone sweatdropped, while Shinji sighed and shook his head. "You Soul Reapers. Don't understand these things, do ya? Think about it. We all know what she can do, correct? What if they could harness that power, as WELL as the Hollows? That would satisfy not only their craving for power, but their craving for revenge...revenge against the person responsible for leaving them without a leader or clear sense of purpose."

They were all silent for a moment, and Nel squeezed Ichigo's neck tighter as he closed his eyes, searching desperately for any sign of her reiatsu.

_Any sign at all. Please._

..._Nothing. Not a thing. Just like what I did: not a thing. I knew something was wrong, and didn't do a damn thing about it. And this is what I get._

_...What kind of deep shit did you get yourself into this time, dammit?_

"So...How we gonna rescue Itsygo's girlfwiend?" Nel asked nervously.

"That's the problem. We don't know where she is."

"What? You _just said _something about Hollows," Ichigo accused, beyond pissed off at this point with their confusing answers.

"So what? Just because Hollows are involved, doesn't mean they're in Hueco Mundo. They could be keeping her somewhere else, maybe somewhere in Soul Society, even. Somewhere we wouldn't expect," Yoruichi snapped.

Urahara held up a finger matter-of-factly. "OR...They might have figured we would suspect as much, and are keeping her in Hueco Mundo, as Toshiro suggested. But we have no way right now of knowing for sure."

Ichigo's temple throbbed. "What the hell are you trying to say? We should just _hold off_?"

"Actually, that's exactly what I'm saying. Good call, Ichigo, you're catching on!" Urahara praised, sounding almost...cheerful. Which, what more could you expect from him, but Ichigo felt his anger boil to the surface nonetheless.

"Are you KIDDING ME? Am I the only one who notices that Peyton's GONE? She could be hurt, she could get killed any second!"

"She could get killed if we rush in without knowing where the hell to start looking, too!" Shinji snapped, making Ichigo shut up.

He cleared his throat before continuing, glancing at the blood on the ground and hoping Ichigo didn't notice it. If he had, the kid woud probably have a seizure.

"Urahara, Yoruichi, Tessai, the Vizards and I will monitor everything carefully and try to find something that could pinpoint her location as fast as we can. Until then, we don't wanna risk falling into a trap and getting stuck in the wrong world as they murder Peyton, now, do we?"

Everyone fell dead silent at that, glancing in Ichigo's direction as discreetly as possible. His fists clenched for a few moments before he took a deep breath, sighing deeply and tiredly.

"Dammit, I hate it when you're right."

"Funny, I said the same thing when her reiatsu disappeared!" Shinji said as if that were hilarious.

"We could probably use the spare time we have to catch up on training, make sure we're ready for going up against something we can't see," Renji pointed out, making everyone jump.

"WHEN THE HELL DID _YOU_ GET HERE?"

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

For the first time in her life, Peyton woke up with her hands bound at the wrist and not having a clue as to where the hell she was.

All she knew was that her head hurt, and if Ichigo was the cause of the pounding ache, she was cracking skulls.

It was dark. "Ichigo?" She called out. Nothing.

"Ichigo, I swear to Chappy the Demon Bunny, if you're the reason I'm tied up and have a huge headache, if this is some twisted fantasy of yours or something, I just might throw you into Nanaw's room BEFORE summer, and for _much_ longer than thirty minutes!" She threatened.

Peyton winced, all that yelling making the pain worse.

She looked around, noticing there was nothing to help her understand her surroundings. No windows, not enough light to see the room itself.

...It was about that time she felt panic rising in her throat.

Where was she, honestly, and why was Ichigo not there? Who else would be under her window, interrupting her sl-

_Under my window!_ So she DID remember something as to how she got here. Not a huge something, but at least a something.

Now if she could just remember MORE somethings, she'd be all set. But until then, she was fighting the extremely strong urge to panic.

She would not lose her head. She would NOT lose her head.

...But that did not mean in any way that she couldn't let her eyes get wet just a little as she realized wherever she was, Ichigo and Karakura were far away and she was more-or-less helpless as far as she could tell.

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

School. The institution that sucks the very life out of its victims, from about grade 4 up. It was even worse when your girlfriend, your best friend, had gone missing the night before.

And you couldn't do a damn thing about it while knowing good and well what could happen to her if Hollows were involved.

She could be tortured.

She could gain her own personal Hollow, and have to suffer through the same hell as him.

She could...he couldn't even think about it anymore.

In less than five hours, he had actually managed to worry himself sick. Fricking fantastic. It only got worse as Lindsay hurried into Ms. Ochi's room, searching the desks before heading straight for Ichigo and Rukia.

"Hey guys. Have you seen Peyton? She wasn't home when I woke up, I figured she snuck out or something...What's wrong with _you_?" She asked Ichigo, who was dangerously pale.

This was the part where he was supposed to insist he was fine, right before telling her that thanks to his stupidity, her sister was missing and could potentially get tortured to death.

Or worse.

Shit, he was thinking about it again.

Needless to say, he was rendered speechless at the moment. Rukia didn't look so good herself, she must've been thinking the same thing as him.

Either way, she spoke for him. "Lindsay...This is gonna be hard for me to say, and even harder for me to explain...Where's your brother, and can we talk to the two of you alone?"

She eyed her suspiciously. "Why? Rukia, where's my sister?" She looked at Ichigo. "You're not eloping in Vegas or something, are you?"

"What the- NO!"

"Just checking. Well, let's go get Seth," she said cheerfully.

Telling her was NOT going to be easy.

_**

* * *

**_

_**LATER****...**_

"What're you doing home so early, you two?" Miya asked as Seth opened the door, Lindsay right behind him.

She smiled as Ichigo and Rukia came into view. "Hi. I'm surprised Peyton isn't with you...She wasn't here this morning..."

Though she looked cheerful, the worry was in her eyes. Who _wouldn't_ be worried? What with one sibling missing, the older sister's mascara running down her face and the older brother looking about ready to kick major ass.

"She's gone, Miya. She's gonna be ripped apart and fed to Hollows!" Lindsay wailed, making Rukia and Ichigo jump back. "N-No one said that!"

_But thanks for giving me one more thing to be absolutely terrified about..._

Miya set down the remote and stood up as Lindsay buried her face against Seth, sobbing. "Wait, what? What're Hollows?"

She looked at Ichigo, just like everyone else had today once they realized something was very wrong with Peyton's absence.

Telling Orihime had been a close second to the worst scenario. She almost cried, and Ichigo was sure she did once he was gone so he wouldn't have to see it. He knew she was thinking of her time in Las Noches, and he himself couldn't even imagine how Peyton must be feeling at the moment.

"What's going on?"

Rukia glanced at Ichigo before folding her arms across her middle anxiously. "Miya, what all do you know about Peyton's ability to see...things normal humans can't?"

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

After what seemed like forever, a light was turned on. Peyton sighed in relief, having been on the brink of a panic attack for hours.

From what she could gather, she was in a concrete room with no windows and only one steel door that probably locked from the outside.

She was perched on a bed, which was a lot bigger than she thought, considering she didn't take up all that much space.

The floor was wood, clashing oddly with the concrete and steel.

The lighting was pretty poor, but she could've sworn she saw a rat scurry across the floor, towards an almost-unnoticeable pile of bones in the corner.

Peyton tried to tell herself they were animal bones, and that she wouldn't be added to the tiny pile.

"Perhaps seeing isn't all that it's cracked up to be," she whispered to herself, squeezing her eyes shut tight.

_Where am I, honestly? _"Ichigo, where are you?" She asked the air for the hundredth time.

Just like the last time she asked that, there was no answer whatsoever. Nothing but the noises of the rat squeaking and sifting through bones, complete with tiny sniffling sounds coming from herself.

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

"So...You're saying that you're a substitute Shinigami, a Soul Reaper, who helps the dead get to Soul Society? And Rukia, Matsumoto, Toshiro, and Renji are all Soul Reapers as well?"

"Yes."

"And Peyton has this...sort of power...to see even the auras Soul Reapers usually can't see, leading to her helping wipe out a clan of ninjas?"

"Yeah."

"And last night, what's left of this clan kidnapped her as revenge and to try to harness her power?"

"Yes."

"And...Hollows are...these creatures made from bad souls...who feed on...humans with high spirit energy, like Peyton, and ghosts?"

"...Yes."

Miya sweatdropped. "And strangely, that all makes sense. What exactly are these 'powers' of Peyton's, besides the aura thing?"

Seth held up a hand. "Miya, you know that guy from Mortal Kombat that does all that lightning stuff?"

"...Yeeeaaahhh..."

"It's like that, from what Toshiro said a while back." He sighed heavily. "I can't believe he basically told me the whole truth that day, and I thought he was seriously talking about a tv show."

Suddenly, he grinned. "Dude, can I see Zangetsu?"

* * *

Lindsay smacked him across the face, still extremely upset. "DUMBASS, did you not hear a word they said? Peyton's GONE! She could get killed, or worse, ripped apart by Hollows!"

"Wouldn't that kill her too?"

"Yeah, but it'd be much much worse."

"Oh, that's true. Could you _imagine_? Being ripped limb from limb like that, screaming in agony, being conscious until the very last second, and knowing you're not getting saved in time? Maybe she'd be thinking no one cared, or maybe she'd be vengeful, or-"

This time, Miya and Rukia smacked him across the face on both sides. "OW!"

They looked pointedly at Ichigo, who was currently angled so his face wasn't visible to them, fists clenched tightly. "Watch what you say, idiot!" They hissed.

Ichigo cleared his throat, trying his best to stay as calm as possible for their sake. "Um...Who's gonna...tell Mark?"

A collective shudder filled the room, and Rukia laughed nervously. "I dunno, but I will make absolutely sure you're not there when they do."

"I appreciate that," he said weakly, not being able to get the image of Mark's reaction to all this out of his head.

Lots of Ichigo's blood on the curtains was included.


	79. Five Days, Mawk's Trust, And Love

**Me: Weeeelll, everyone seems to be liking this little idea. Not liking the cliffie, but liking the idea XD**

**Ichigo: Speak for yourself!**

**Me: Did you think i was speaking for you, Strawberry?**

**Ichigo: Noooo...**

**Me: (Throws cake at him from XxRikela-chanxX. It's a triple chocolate layered cake with warm caramel insides with strawberry's on top, complete with a tag that says "To Ichigo, for being so damn hawt and awesome".) Here. Because i pity you.**

**Ichigo: (Practically attacks it) YAY! OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM**

**Me: (Sighs and shakes head) How the hell Peyton thinks you're smart is WAY beyond me.**

**Ichigo: OMONOMNOMNOM- ...WAAITT...Peyton thinks I'm smart? Really? **

**Me: (Sweatdrops as he turns red and beams with pride) ...Honestly, how old are ya, 12? Whatever. Enjoy!**

**Ichigo: OMNOMNOM! (Translation: "Yeah, what she said!")**

* * *

Peyton tried not to groan as she started walking around, her joints stiff after being too worried about the damn rats to inspect the room.

Every day, at around the same time, the door would swing open and food would be slid in before it slammed shut and locked again.

She wanted to see what the outside of the room looked like, but she never got the chance. The exchange was always so quick.

About an hour ago, she remembered she had a barette nearly falling out of her hair, and that it had a reflective surface on one portion.

So now Peyton was lying in front of the door on her stomach, sliding the barette around to survey things.

So far, she saw that the walls were wooden, and that's about it. Except she saw a window, through which she could see how blue and tempting the sky was.

She longed for fresh air. Peyton didn't realize how major the difference between fresh air and regular air was until she was deprived of it.

Another thing getting on her nerves? The dried blood on the side of her head. It was like a scab now, caky, and it wasn't exactly a _tiny_ spot of blood.

She was tempted to scratch it off, but didn't want it to start bleeding again. Besides, her head _still _hurt when she did movements like that.

Peyton wished she had had her phone on her when she was snatched. If she couldn't get a signal, at least she could look at pictures, play Tetris, and listen to old voicemails until her battery ran out.

That way she wouldn't have to listen to the silence. Oh, the silence. It was awful, unbearable sometimes.

Sometimes the silence would be so loud that she could hear a high-pitched noise, the same one she used to think was cool when she was a kid and stayed quiet for a long time.

She even considered monologuing at one point, talking to herself, but...though she hated admitting it...she was scared they'd get mad at her for that.

Whoever THEY was.

Peyton never saw anyone. Never heard anyone. All she had was herself and the occasional food and water she got, and even that was in short supply. The critters, however, were NOT in short supply, and they were her "company" at night.

But worst of all...she felt...helpless. Only five days in, according to how many meals she got, and she was already feeling helpless.

She missed her family. She missed Ichigo. She even missed _school_. It was amazing what solitude could do to the human mind.

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

Everyone was getting more and more restless. Five days. Five days without her there, not knowing what she was doing or where she was...it was starting to take its toll.

Not just on Ichigo, but on everybody.

Toshiro and Matsumoto had to eventually take refuge at the Cullen house because of all the explosions at Urahara's as he tried to find a way to see the auras the Iga Clan were fond of using.

Lindsay and Seth insisted on helping however they could (hence all the explosions) with anything the Soul Reapers might need.

Miya insisted on something along those lines, convincing the school everything was fine and that Peyton was just away for a family emergency and was going to do the same for Ichigo and the others once they finally, FINALLY went to get her back.

Until then, his day consisted of school (which sucked), training (with the other Soul Reapers and Orihime, who insisted she would be coming along no matter what he said, and occasionally the Vizards), and ignoring Dad's moping.

Oh, damn did he mope. He was taking her disappearance worse than Ichigo was. Which wasn't saying much, since he usually kept stuff like that to himself, but...still...it was ridiculous.

The den was now a constant sea of tissues, and Ichigo didn't even want to THINK about what his room might look like at this point.

He didn't even call Nel their "practice lovechild" anymore, which he used to announce to everyone so proudly ever since the damn kid showed up.

Yuzu wasn't looking too good either, worried sick, and even Karin seemed more sullen than usual.

And thanks to the hole Nel found, Hollows were popping up left and right as it tried to seal itself back up.

So, yeah, he was plenty busy while he was waiting. That didn't make waiting any easier, though. Nothing could possibly make the waiting easier, or bearable.

_If only I had been there...If only I had listened to my gut and went to check on her...None of this would be happening..._

* * *

Mark wasn't taking it very well at all. In his mind, he didn't have all the answers he wanted. He wanted to know...why _his_ daughter.

Why did _his_ daughter have to have these powers, and meet Soul Reapers? Why the hell did _his_ daughter have to start dating one?

Why was no one _looking_ for her?

Miya and his kids tried to explain there wasn't much anyone could do at the moment, but that wasn't good enough.

That was NOT good enough.

He hated waiting. He had to wait for answers when Steph died. That had been bad, and he had never gotten those answers. Now he was waiting for answers on his youngest daughter, who could be dead for all he knew.

Needless to say, he was quite...angry. And wasn't thinking straight. So he went for a walk and of course, OF COURSE, who should he see further down the street but the damn Soul Reaper.

His fists clenched as he watched him fight something Mark himself couldn't see too well. Something huge and dangerous, something Lindsay insisted Peyton might be fed to.

Since being around Steph and their daughter for so long, he had started being able to see things they could.

Only the outlines. Although he could see damn Kurosaki quite clearly. Maybe it was fueled by how pissed off he was at the orange-headed substitute Soul Reaper.

Who knew.

Mark wanted to fight. He wanted to get his anger out on someone. Badly. Images of Kurosaki and his daughter together flashed through his mind, making him seem like the perfect target.

Why didn't Ichigo stop these people from taking her? Why wasn't he doing anything about it now?

He had stomped his way around the corner and was halfway down the street, about ten yards from Ichigo, when something tugged on his sleeve.

That little kid Ichigo had been followed around by lately was there, dragging him backwards and hissing.

"What is Itsygo's girlfwiend's dad THINKING? Almost attacking Itsygo!"

* * *

"That bastard's doing absolutely NOTHING about my daughter going missing! He knows, he knows what happened to her, why is he wasting his time?"

Nel stared at him in disbelief. "Mawk...Do you honestly tink Itsygo likes dis? Itsygo HATES all dis waiting! Itsygo loves his girlfwiend so much! He loves his girlfwiend so much dat he spends almost all his free time twaining so he can git her back home! Sometimes, Nel wakes up because she hears Itsygo yelling for his girlfwiend while he's sleeping, and Nel can't do anything to make him feel better no matter what she does!"

Mark stared at Ichigo, watching him fight, while Nel continued scolding him.

"Itsygo's trying so hard to stay sane, to get stwonger, all because he loves his girlfwiend and misses her! He misses her really really bad! So Nel is sure...That as long as Itsygo's still bweathing...He won't let his girlfwiend get hurt. He won't let her die. Because Itsygo loves his girlfwiend with all his heart, with all his big Stwaberry heart! So...Nel will have no choice but to kick Mawk's ass if he twies to yell at Itsygo...Because Nel misses Itsygo's girlfwiend too," she said with a slight sniffle.

Mark sweatdropped. "What are they TEACHING you, kid? You don't say 'ass'!"

Nel threw a pebble at his head, making his temple throb. "DOES MAWK NOT HEAR A WORD THAT COMES OUT OF NEL'S MOUTH? HER THROAT PENIS IS PWOBABLY SWINGING LIKE CWAZY FROM TWYING TO GET IT THWOUGH YOUR SKULL!"

Mark did a Spazzy Wet Noodle Dance. "Th-Th-THROAT PENIS? YOUR POOR TAINTED MIND!"

He sighed as Nel giggled. He looked from her to Ichigo, who had just returned to his body, then back again. "...I want my daughter back. Do you understand how much it hurts knowing she's out there and I have no clue where she is, or if she's alright, or when I'm gonna see her again?"

"I might know something about that," Ichigo replied from behind him, making him whirl around in surprise.

_Damn, that kid walks fast._

"Mark, I'm gonna be completely honest with you. I knew something was wrong that night. I just had the worst feeling that something was wrong. I stayed up almost all night focusing on her spirit energy, her reiatsu, making sure she was alright. And as soon as I closed my eyes, as soon as I convinced myself I was just paranoid, they took her away."

He paused to blink a couple times really quickly, then gave him the most determined look Mark had seen in a long time.

"This is all my fault. I don't care what people keep telling me, that she's the one who made them angry and made herself a target. It's still my fault. I could've protected her. I didn't. So I swear to you that I'm gonna bring Peyton back. I'm not gonna let anyone hurt her. I'm gonna do what I should've done before, and protect her no matter what. But I can't do that...If you don't trust me when I say I'm doing everything I can, and as soon as I know where to go, I'm going after her."

They stared at each other for a long time, and finally, Mark held out his hand. "...Please. Bring her home."

Ichigo shook it.

"I intend to."

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE,****HOURS**** LATER****...**_

_3...2...1..._

Peyton jumped back right as the door swung open, flinging it open all the way with her hand and summoning spirit energy.

She reared back her fist only to have it blocked, squeezed tightly, and have herself be shoved hard, her head knocking against the far wall.

The man started shouting angrily in fast Japanese, too fast for an amateur like her to pick up, but he soon quieted as she heard footsteps.

Peyton tried not to stare at the plate of food, practically drooling as her stomach growled miserably.

_Food...I'm used to eating whenever I want..._

Another man strode in, one a lot better dressed. He had a cocky smile, which she happened to hate on...pretty much everyone except Ichigo.

"Ahh. Peyton. Seems your survival mode has finally kicked in."

She glared at him, stumbling to her feet only to be pushed back down by something she couldn't see.

He noticed her confused expression and chuckled. "Though you can see the auras, your mind is so hazy from hunger and that nasty knot on its left side that we move too fast for your mere human eyes."

"Hey, don't say it like being human's such a bad thing," she muttered groggily. Damn, he was right. That douche in the corner made her hit her head again. Pretty damn hard, too, she was pretty sure she was bleeding.

AGAIN.

DAMMIT!

He scowled. "But it is. I mean, look at you. It's been five days. You're sitting on the ground, bleeding on your head, starving...Where are your friends? Where's Ichigo Kurosaki when you need him the most?"

Peyton resisted the urge to strangle him. "Ichigo's coming for me. He always helps people, especially the ones he cares about."

"Are you implying you think he cares about you?"

"Damn straight, stranger," she growled.

He laughed in her face before grabbing her by the arm, pulling her up. She winced, already able to tell how big the bruise on her arm was going to be.

And it wouldn't be tiny, that's for sure.

"That's rich. If he cares so much, where is he?"

"He's probably discussing with Hichigo which he should do first, draw and quarter you or disembowel you."

* * *

He laughed again, he and the douche in the corner exchanging some HILARIOUS Japanese dialogue about her that she couldn't quite catch.

He leaned closer, right into her face. "Ichigo Kurosaki could have stopped us. He knew we were coming. He chose not to. And now, five days later, still no Shinigami coming to your aid. I think it's safe to say he could care less. I know that I would never treat MY lover like this."

Peyton let out a yell as she channeled energy to her foot, kicking him in the gut and sending him against the wall, much like douche in the corner had done to her with that push.

"Don't you DARE think you can talk me into thinking I'm forgotten about! Ichigo's coming for me. He never gives up. He loves me, and he's coming for me. Then again...I don't expect _you _to know anything about love. You have one of those faces that only your momma could love. If SHE even did."

Not able to control himself, the douche in the corner muttered "Ohhh, burn!", making his superior glare at him as he stood up.

In a few strides he was back in front of her, grabbing her and yanking her towards him by a fistful of her hair. She winced, but her glare stayed on her face, staring him down.

"What? Upset I told you the truth? Ya know, we _humans _have a guy that settles issues like this. His name's Dr. Phil. Or Jerry Springer. Hell, you could even contact Maury, I'm sure he'd be interested."

"Enough!" He shouted, picking her up high off the ground by her neck and dropping her like she was a rag doll. Peyton flopped a bit like one, too.

If she was, she must've been an evil one, because the look she gave them both sure as hell was.

"You think you can mouth off at me, you little bitch? In case you've forgotten, you're the prisoner here, not I. And I for one cannot _wait _until you beg our new leader for mercy as we suck the very soul out of you and feed your reeking corpse to the hungry Hollows," he sneered.

He kicked her plate, sending the food and water flying, and slammed the door behind him as he and douche from the corner left.

Peyton trembled despite herself at his threat, not entirely doubting it. She stared longingly at the spilt water, eating a grape without really tasting anything but blood.

Bastard had made her bite her lip AND her tongue. Dammit. She whimpered a little as the lights were shut off earlier than usual, and she immediately heard the scurrying resume.

"Ichigo...I know you're coming for me, but could you hurry the hell up? Please? Don't tell anyone, but I'm...I'm kinda scared...and my head really hurts...My whole body hurts, really...I love you, Ichigo...Goodnight," she whispered before scrambling onto her bed and curling into a ball, trying to go to sleep and ignore her empty stomach and dry throat.

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

He laid there staring at the ceiling, yet again, sifting through all the spiritual energy nearby.

Lately, Ichigo had been trying as hard as possible to stretch his sensing abilities to the limit, seeing if maybe, just maybe, he could feel her.

So far, no luck whatsoever.

"Itsygo?"

"Huh?"

"If I wake up later tonight...will I hear you scweaming for Itsygo's girlfwiend again?" Nel asked worriedly.

Ichigo's eyes widened a fraction. "Nel...Repeat that?"

"Will I hear you scweaming? You keep shouting and shouting for her, and it makes me wanna cover my ears," she explained from the foot of his bed, staring out the window and glancing at him every six seconds.

He avoided her eyes. "I...Didn't know. Sorry about that."

"Itsygo don't need to be sawry. Itsygo can't help it that he loves his girlfwiend so much. Itsygo can't help it if he blames himself. But Itsygo should know that it's not right to blame himself. Itsygo didn't mean for his girlfwiend to get taken away."

"No, he didn't."

"So Itsygo should stop acting like he _did_. Because if Itsygo's girlfwiend knows he's blaming himself, she will commit some _major _mas-o-kiss-inism."

He didn't get on her case about using such an adult term; instead, he laughed. "Yeah, she would."

"Not would! That makes it sound as if Itsygo's girlfwiend is dead and far away!" She wailed suddenly, making him jump and hold up his hands in surrender.

"Sorry, sorry, now be quiet before ya wake everyone up!"

He waited until Nel was pretty much asleep before turning over and looking out the window. "...Night, Peyton. I love you. I'll be there soon."


	80. The Killer Clown Dimension And Poor Uryu

**Me: We're back again!**

**Ichigo: (Sitting amidst a sea of "Good luck Ichigo" cakes and his "my life sucks" booze basket from Dude) OMNOMNOMNOM- GLUG GLUG GLUG- OMNOMNOM!**

**Me: ...Wow. You're taking this whole Peyton thing pretty well, eh?**

**Ichigo: (With his mouth full) SHUT UP AND LEMME EAT MY FEELINGS! OMNOMNOMNOM- GLUG- OMNOM!**

**Me: And yet you dont understand why GIRLS do the SAME EXACT THING when they're on their period?**

**Ichigo: I think this is a BIT more major then cramps and bloating and PMS.**

**Me and Rukia: (Ominous glares) DON'T EVEN GO THERE, ASSHOLE!**

**Ichigo: (Cue the Poor Kicked Puppy look) I'm sorry, I'm sorry, i didn't mean it!**

**Me: Good save. (Dives into Coca-Cola Pool from Dude)**

**Rukia: (Slides on Chappy Floaties very deliberately) ENJOOOOY!**

* * *

Twelve days. Twelve damn days. If they didn't find out where she was soon, Ichigo was gonna explode.

And it was obvious by how everyone else carried themselves lately that he wasn't the only one.

After seven days, Dad noticed how tired he was and decided maybe school could wait till after Peyton was home again.

There was no "if", no one ever dared let the "if" slip out. They only said "after".

Which made the "if" ring a little louder in everybody's heads.

What IF they didn't find her?

What IF they went to the wrong world?

What IF when they got there, it was too late?

What IF they couldn't go against their enemy because Hat-And-Clogs hadn't made a way to see them in time?

If, if, if. It was a very common word lately. Ichigo tried not to think about the ifs, but that didn't mean he succeeded half the time.

_You know what sounds real nice? Things being the way they were before. Rukia beating us up for something stupid and perverted, Shinji constantly calling Peyton his beloved, Kon constantly trying to catch us in the act, -_

...Oh, the act. Damn, did he miss the act. Badly.

Ichigo sighed heavily before turning over again, careful not to kick Nel in the head...again. "Life just isn't fair, making you go without the act once you're used to having it whenever the hell you please," he muttered miserably.

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

_Come on...Come onnnn...SENSE ME, DAMMIT!_

Peyton was panting, short of breath at this point from exerting so much reiatsu. She was surprised the dudes keeping her here hadn't caught on yet and weren't trying to stop her.

Eyes closed, in her mind's eye, she focused on Karakura Town. She focused on all the reiatsu she saw there.

She focused on one in particular. A light blue one in the shape of a Hollow mask. It hurt, doing it from such a distance.

But then again, so did her rat bites she got a couple nights ago. They were on her legs, and they hurt like CRAP.

Speaking of rats, she was seriously considering roasting them alive with her spirit energy, but that would smell too bad.

No matter how hungry she was, she refused to eat a damn rat. Or two. Or five.

It sounded like five were scurrying around at the moment. Probably more than that. Peyton shook her head quickly.

_No, shut up brain, focus on his reiatsu. Come on...Come on...Do you want outta here or not, Peyton? Come on...Harder...A little more...Come on come on come on COME ON DAMMIT, I CAN'T DO THIS ALL DAMN DAY!_

* * *

Ichigo was about to go get some cake, giving up on sleep, and was halfway into the swinging-over-the-side-and-out-of-bed maneuver when he felt it.

It was like a tiny throb at first, but he felt it. It was unmistakably hers. Screw swinging, he pretty much _flew _out of bed and to the window.

_The hell?_

He closed his eyes and tried to see where she was. Amidst all the reiatsu he couldn't care less about, there was one.

There was one that was sort of...flickering. Way far off. Could he follow it? Was he dumb enough to try?

You bet your ass he was.

Ichigo stretched his sight as far as possible, her reiatsu getting stronger and stronger. And then it seemed to fade away the closer he got, almost like a projection.

But it was in no way, shape or form a projection. It was her, it was totally her, he just knew it. She must've been farther than she looked, and somehow managed to exert enough reiatsu to let him see it.

He grinned to himself. "That's thr Peyton I know." Nel yawned. "Itsygo, you're awake? But not scweaming? Is your girlfwiend back yet?"

Ichigo's grin grew as he threw his door open and headed down the hall. "Not yet, but I just saw-" _**CRASH! THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD.**_

"...Ow. Ow. DAMMIT, OW!"

* * *

Yoruichi smacked Urahara repeatedly in the head and shoulder, making him wake up with a grunt.

"Unh? What's happenin'?"

"It's her. Don't you feel it?" Tessai was in the corner, eyes closed and working like mad to figure out where the source of her reiatsu was.

Now he felt it. That hum her energy always put out, though it was pretty dim at the moment. But after twelve days of searching for the hum before Ichigo went postal and murdered him, that tiny hum was like a heavenly chorus.

And they were singing an amazing song titled "Kisuke Urahara, You Just Might Live Another Week!".

"Ahhh, angels," he muttered to himself as he tried to track it as well.

"Looks like...Soul Society. But along the Southern or Western border," Yoruichi said suddenly.

Tessai and Urahara opened their eyes, the shop owner huffing. "Jeez, Yoruichi, show us up why don't you..."

"With pleasure. Hmm...I don't think I've been near that part of the border before..."

Tessai made a noise of approval. "I'm impressed she managed to exert enough reiatsu to be felt from Karakura."

They sighed heavily as it disappeared suddenly, and Ururu said out of nowhere, "Every time I feel a reiatsu drop, it makes my heart drop too."

Urahara put a hand on her head in response. "Well, I wouldn't be too worried about Peyton's reiatsu. She's one tough kid."

Yoruichi nodded, and as she spoke, no one noticed Rukia walk in. "The Iga Clan have always been quite fond of mental manipulation and torture. Playing an annoying sound over and over, leaving a prisoner in poor conditions and complete solitude, neverending silence, ...Except for the creatures. Oh, those creatures...Their eyes were so red and narrow, the prisoner's only light through the night."

She shivered, and Rukia cocked an eyebrow. "Yoruichi, you speak as if you know first-hand of these things."

"I do. I was once held hostage by the Iga Clan for a bounty set up by some 'unknown source'."

"Aizen," Everyone said dully as if he were old news, making Toshiro and Renji sweatdrop. "How ironic. If only Aizen knew how little of importance he is to us now..."

* * *

Jinta crossed his arms importantly. "He was never a big deal. I could take him with one hand tied behind my back!"

"Yeah, wait until he's got his zanpakuto drawn at you, and see how big your talk is," Renji replied simply.

Rukia smacked him upside the head. "Don't SCARE HIM!"

Jinta's temple throbbed. "...Now that's just insulting, Rukia. Say, when the hell'd you guys get here anyways?"

"Ichigo woke me up when he fell down the stairs," Rukia replied dully.

"Matsumoto and I came after Lindsay told us she felt as if Peyton were suddenly nearby. Figured it was her way of feeling reiatsu, due to being around her sister for so long," was Toshiro's excuse.

"Where's Matsumoto?"

"Celebrating the finding of her location," He said with a temple throb as they heard a "WHOO-HOOOO!" outside the door, in a voice that was unmistakably Rangiku Matsumoto.

"I heard her 'celebration' and wanted to join in. Rukia got to me first, though," Renji added with a smirk as everyone sweatdropped.

Urahara clapped his hands together cheerfully. "Well, this works out perfectly! I just finished up a prototype for aura-bending! Now you can all try them out!"

* * *

Everyone exchanged fearful looks as he held up two plastic convex circles. "They're contact lenses! Only not just ANY contact lenses. Durable! And with moisturizers! And ALSO, they help you see almost every aura of the spiritual spectrum, with the exception of the Killer Clown Dimension Spectrum."

"The...The Killer Clown Dimension Spectrum," Renji repeated in awe.

There was a collective shudder from Yoruichi, the store owner, and his employees. "Don't even MENTION that dimension."

Rukia's temple throbbed as everyone else nodded solemnly. "You guys BELIEVE that crap?"

Urahara simply stared at her. "...Rukia Kuchiki, I suggest you start believing in the Killer Clown Dimension. It's where the creepiest of clowns, the actual killers, are sent in the afterlife. We can't have killer clowns running wild around Soul Society, can we? So...without telling Mayuri, because otherwise he'd set them loose as an experiment for some sadistic reason or another, we made them their own dimension."

"That used to be a Soul Reaper Academy fraternity initiation. Killer Clown Hunting," Tessai added suddenly.

Urahara pointed at him eagerly. "Tessai, do you remember Kaname? He was the one who ended up being the HUNTED, and we let them have him because he was so damn annoying and cheated on his girlfriend two days before?"

They exchanged some laughter, making everyone else sweatdrop. "Ahahahahaha! Ahhh...good times..."

"Because the guy wanted an extra piece of ass?" Renji asked incredulously.

"Nooo, he was also ANNOYING AS HELL, were you not paying attention?" Yoruichi replied innocently. She then shrugged. "Besides. His girlfriend Aiya was the hottest of our class. I can't believe he downgraded."

"They say he was totally baked at the time."

"Really?"

"Yep. You never heard that?"

"Well, no! If I had known that...maybe I would've suggested we hide his stash instead of feeding him to the clowns and leaving him there to die..." Yoruichi said thoughtfully.

Jinta sweatdropped. "I always knew you had an evil side."

She hung her head in shame. "I know..." Then she gave him a rather cat-like grin. "But it sure was funny! Did you see his FACE?"

"Oh, I know!" That got the three laughing again, while Rukia cringed. "I...am NOT trying out those contact lenses."

* * *

Urahara stopped laughing after everyone nodded in agreement. "But...Then who the hell's gonna test 'em?"

"Let Ichigo. It's _his _girlfriend."

"He's not _here_, Renji!"

"Ohhh yeaaaah! Where the hell _is _the damn Strawberry, anyways? FIGURES he only goes away when I actually _want _him," Renji muttered.

"I didn't know you swung that way," Jinta sneered.

"NOT LIKE THAT, YOU LITTLE TURD!"

"He's too busy hitting THAT ass!" Matsumoto said suddenly, appearing out of nowhere and pointing at Rukia's ass with her foot.

Toshiro held the tiny Soul Reaper back right before she lunged at Matsumoto, who giggled. "Was it something I said?" She asked them before hiccuping.

As if on cue, Uryu suddenly walked through the open front door. "Um...I found something interesting about the Iga Clan you guys might want to take a look at...Concerning executions and sacrifices during rituals to gain power?"

Everyone quieted down, while Urahara beamed. "Well, only if you try out these prototype contact lenses!"

Ishida fingered his glasses fearfully, eyes wide, then groaned and strode over to him, slamming the book down. "Peyton owes me so much for this..." He muttered as he removed his glasses and put them in.

* * *

Everyone stared in disbelief as nothing bad immediately happened to him, and Urahara's grin grew. "Alright, I want you to think the following words in your head: Iga Clan Aura."

He nodded and did so before jumping and attacking something on his left. As soon as he connected with it, a target painted to look like an Iga Clan member appeared to everyone as it clattered to the ground.

"How did you manage to-"

"Bend the aura of an inanimate object to magically match that of the Iga Clan?" Everyone nodded eagerly, and he simply smirked. "An inventor never reveals his innermost secrets."

"...You douchebag," Renji muttered about the same time Uryu suddenly shrieked and started running around in circles.

"MY EYES! MY EEEYEEES!"

"You tried to see the Killer Clown Dimension Aura, didn't you?"

"NOOO!"

"URYU ISHIHACKALOOGIE, DON'T YOU DARE LIE TO _THE _KISUKE URAHARA!"

"OKAY, YEEES! I HEARD YOU GUYS MENTION IT AS I CAME IN!" He wailed, beyond Quincy pride at this point.

He eventually freaked himself out so much that he passed out, and Ururu ran off to fetch some cold water.

Urahara waved his fan over his face a single time, and Yoruichi changed into her cat form, curling up on the table.

"Kisuke...We should probably find her before we send them out to get Peyton. Just to ensure if the lenses fail during any time, they have someone with them to see the auras for them."

He nodded. "You're probably right. You wanna go, or should I?"

"I will. I feel like playing pranks on Little Byakuya while I try to find her. I convinced him his mansion was haunted last time, I'm sure he's in need of some ghostly encounters," she said mischievously before disappearing from their view.

"Are you talking about who I THINK you're talking about fetching?" Matsumoto asked eagerly. Urahara simply fanned Ishida another time, and before he could reply, Ichigo and Nel suddenly kicked down his door.

"I SENSED PEYTON'S REIATSU! WE CAN FIND HER LOCATION NOW, WE CAN GO!"

They all sweatdropped, and Jinta spoke first. "...No shit, moron."


	81. Mental Breakdowns, Torture, & Sex Drives

**Me: Weeeelll, we're back! Glad to see ya'll got a kick outta the Killer Clown Dimension Spectrum!**

**Ichigo: (Shudders at the thought) ...Damn, i hate clowns.**

**Me: SAME! (High-fives)**

**Rukia: I think you're both wusses.**

**Me: HEY! I don't even wanna HEAR IT from you, Ms. Complain-About-Academic-Support-For-3-Hours-Straight the other night!**

**Rukia: (Blinks innocently) B-But...It was awful, Mandy!**

**Me: Yeah, well. Welcome to my world. Sucks ass, doesn't it?**

**Ichigo: Yep. Just like YOUR MOM!**

**Me: Ohhhhh! Nice one! (Fist-bump)**

**Rukia: (Sweatdrops) You...DO realize he was talking about YOUR MOM, right?**

**Me: ...(Demonic Aura) You BASTARD! (Summons gauntlet)**

**Ichigo: Le-Let's not do anything too RASH, Mandy. I'm too awesome and hot with incredibly fluffy hair to die now! If i die, you have nothing to envy!**

**Me: WHY YOU LITTLE BITCH!**

**Ichigo: AAHHHHH! (Runs away in terror with me close behind, swinging gauntlet like a mad hatter)**

**Rukia: (Sweatdrops) Uhhh...Enjoy. **

* * *

Ichigo huffed. "How was I supposed to know everyone was already here? Damn, I'm not psychic."

"Obviously. If you were, you probably wouldn't have fallen down the stairs in the first place, Strawberry."

"Renji, how the HELL did you know about- RUKIA, YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SPREAD THAT AROUND!"

Rukia shrugged innocently while Ururu tended to Ishida, finally reviving him and giving him a cold rag to put on his eyes. "Thank you," he muttered, groaning as he sat up.

Ichigo sweatdropped. "What the fuck happened to YOU?"

Uryu's temple throbbed. "Kisuke Urahara happened. Peyton owes me so damn much. Like I said when I arrived, I found some information on Iga Clan rituals and executions."

He walked over to the table on which he put his book and flipped to a page, while everyone simultaneously crowded around him.

"The Iga Clan executions tend to generally consist of barbaric, ancient means. They seem to favor tying the victim's hands and feet with rope, respectively, and pulling them with horses in four different directions."

Everyone paled at that, and Ichigo gulped. "Do you, uh...Do you think they'll try that on her?"

Uryu shook his head, and everyone sighed with relief. "Not really. They'd probably go for the sacrificial power idea."

"Which would be?" Rukia prompted.

Uryu turned about five pages before continuing. "There're several ways to sacrifice someone for power. Most usually include a dagger to the chest, cutting out their entrails, things of that nature. HOWEVER, they also want to bond her abilities with that of a Hollow or two. Not necessarily gaining her own Hollow, but a Hollow gaining Peyton, if that makes sense."

"So what does that mean?" Matsumoto asked, already sounding quite drunk.

He pointed to a rather ominous-looking object that kind of looked like a cross between the Sokyoku and a guillotine, on a shorter scale.

"They'd try to...well, to put it simply, suck the spirit ability out of her before executing her. Which means she'll be conscious and fully aware of her fate until the very end, when she's beheaded or bifurcated depending on the wishes of the Iga Clan, and bleeds to death."

The room was filled with about three main reactions. Mostly sighs, or groans, or people shaking their heads. Ichigo covered his face briefly with his hands, leaning on the table, while Nel gripped his closest hand (more like three of his fingers). "It's okay, Itsygo."

"Urahara, when can we leave?" He asked, his voice muffled due to his hands.

"As soon as Yoruichi gets back."

"And how long could that take?"

"However difficult our friend makes it to find her."

More sighs and groans. "That's just fucking fantastic," Renji muttered.

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

"I...am beginning...to _really _hate..this place.." Peyton said through gritted teeth, as if she had ever loved this room.

She was trying to cover her ears as best as possible to avoid the loud screeching noise currently being played on constant loop from some unknown source.

The rats didn't like it either, they were scurrying around and squeaking angrily, which wasn't helping her ears any.

"You know, I could _really _use a _shower_!" She shouted to no one in particular.

Peyton must've been starting to lose her mind. She _must have _to be stupid enough to march over to the door, kicking away the random rats, and pounding on it as if complaining to an apartment tenant about their noise level.

"DID YOU HEAR ME, YOU DOUCHEBAGS? I NEED...A DAMN SHOWER! I'VE GOT GREASY HAIR AND BODY ODOR IN HERE!"

...Then again, after twelve- almost thirteen- days without meeting your hygienic needs, you'd probably lose your mind too.

After more pounding and screeching about her puberty needs, the door swung open, almost knocking her in the face.

"THANK you- GAH!" She sputtered and coughed as a high-powered hose sprayed her full-on, actually knocking her back and making her slide into the wall.

After a few moments, it was shut off, and douche from the corner smirked. "You redheads really need to learn to keep your mouth shut."

And with that said, he laughed and slammed the door. Peyton coughed, spitting out some water, temple throbbing.

...Well, so much for her clothes. The hose had sprayed so hard that her shirt had started to fray.

So now she was soaked, cold, her skin was tingling and starting to burn, she was lonely, she had rat bites, she still had a head injury, and...she hadn't had sex in...forever.

As in...FOREVER.

FOOOOORRREEEEVVVEEERRRR.

If SHE couldn't last this long, she shuddered at the thought of how well Ichigo was handling it. Unless, y'know, he cheated on her.

But like _that'd _happen. He valued his life enough to know that would be the single hugest mistake he could possibly make.

...Plus, she was awesome. "AwesomeSAUCE," Peyton corrected to herself before starting to laugh.

She must've laughed for at least a half-hour, laughed out all her stress, and fear, and self-disgust at her filthiness, and her pain, her doubts.

Laughed it all off until her stomach hurt and she had to lay down, falling asleep in no time.

Because she had finally realized that she could either laugh about it, or cry about it. And really, which one do you think she preferred?

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

"This is so not fair...This is SO not fair...We could be gone. We could be saving her RIGHT NOW. I could be kicking major Iga Clan ass RIGHT NOW. I could be earning myself some Hot Rescue Sex RIGHT...NOW. But can I? HELL NO. Because HAT-AND-CLOGS decided to torture me some more with...this...damn...WAITING! THIS IS SO NOT _FAIR_!" Ichigo ranted.

Toshiro and Rukia sighed tiredly, reading about the Iga Clan (Toshiro) and coloring more Chappies (Rukia) at Urahara's table.

"Stop the damn pacing, before you pass out. Then you REALLY can't do any of the stuff you mentioned, Ichigo," Rukia scolded.

He huffed and made a big show of sitting down, flopping onto the floor and crossing his legs exaggeratedly.

Toshiro sweatdropped. "You know...You COULD be reading up on the Iga Clan and learning more about their torture devices and tactics."

"Why the hell would I torture myself like that?"

"Because then you'd know how to destroy them."

He and Toshiro had a mini-stare-off, and finally, he sighed before grabbing the thinnest book off of Uryu's surprisingly huge stack of Iga Clan research.

"...You SUCK. You and your goddamn logic."

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

They were all very silent. The only sound was Rukia's scribbling and Toshiro and Ichigo occasionally turning pages.

Speaking of turning pages, Ichigo didn't know how many more disturbing information he could take.

Every time he read about a new torture device, he thought of Peyton being hooked up to it and screaming in pain.

And then, even when he read some stuff that basically told him point-blank how to best destroy it, Ichigo would only picture not making it in time, and her mutilated body, and how she must've felt when she died knowing that he hadn't been there.

To make matters worse, Rukia suddenly looked up from her drawing. "Toshiro, from what you've read so far, what do you think would be the worst possible torture device they could use on her? Besides the one Uryu mentioned they'd most likely use."

Toshiro made a clicking noise with his tongue in thought before answering slowly. "Hmm...It's hard to say...There're so many disturbing ones."

"Like what?"

"Well, there's this one where they stick a hot poker against your skin in the main areas of the body so that eventually it all peels off in one rush, causing the raw flesh underneath to be exposed to the harsh air and slowly kill the victim."

Ichigo clenched his jaw as the damn Captain continued.

"And then...There's this ONE called Tean Zu, where the victim's fingers are placed on a flat surface. Wooden sticks are placed between the fingers, connected by strings. When a victim refuses to talk or deliver information to the torturer, they tighten the string a bit more causing the tables to crush the fingers one...by..._one_," he added ominously.

Ichigo felt the blood drain from his face, but no one else seemed to notice.

"AND THEN...there's this one called the Brass Coffin, where they lock the victim in a coffin made of brass and hang it vertically directly above a fire, burning them alive."

It was about that point that Ichigo heard roaring in his ears, and Nel suddenly said, "Itsygo, Nel tinks you look a bit gween."

Toshiro and Rukia looked over at him, right as he nearly keeled over. He managed to grip the table just in time, clenching his jaw and glaring at Toshiro.

"THE HELL'S YOUR DEAL, MENTIONING ALL THAT STUFF! WHAT IF THEY _DO _THAT TO HER?"

Rukia sighed. "Ichigo, there's no _way _they'd do that. They want her spirit energy to be in the best possible condition. Which means, they'd probably just keep her in the solitude with the conditions Yoruichi mentioned."

Toshiro nodded slowly. "Yes...And then, the day before or day of her execution, they'd probably give her the best possible amenities. To ensure her spirit energy is at its peak when they kill her."

"You mean ATTEMPT to kill her. But there's no way they're gonna succeed," Ichigo informed them matter-of-factly.

They nodded quickly, and Rukia sighed. "I remember the days before my execution. I just hope she hasn't been going through the same emotions..."

Ichigo waved them off. "Nah. She's the toughest girl I know. She's probably just rolling with the punches and waiting for us to save her RIGHT NOW..."

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE, ****HOURS LATER...**_

"Ichigoooo, Rukiaaa, Toshiroo...Matsumotooo, Reeenji...Neeeelll...CHUCK NORRIS? WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GUY-UY-UYYYYS?" Peyton sobbed, rocking back and forth.

"THIRTEEN DAYS! WAIT, NO, FOURTEEN! FOURTEEN DAYS! AND YOU'RE STILL NOT HERE? ..." She sobbed some more, simultaneously kicking away a rat trying to naw on her foot.

"Yeah, bitch, you better run!" Peyton snapped at the rat.

Yep, she'd lost her mind. She'd officially lost her mind.

"I know they sensed me. I know they did. I know because of how jerky Ichigo moved, how jerky they all moved. They know where I am. Why aren't they coming for me? WHY AREN'T THEY COMING?" She screeched at no one in particular, breaking off into more pathetic sobs.

Peyton flopped back down onto her bed, staring up at the high ceiling as the high-pitched noises continued on their stupid loop track.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS? WHAT DO YOU WAAAAANT? LEMME GO HOME! I WANNA GO HOME! I WANNA TAKE A SHOWER! A REAL SHOWER! I WANT FOOD WITHOUT MAGGOTS IN IT! I WANT WATER THAT'S NOT BEING SPRAYED IN MY FACE, OR KICKED OVER! I WANT CLEAN CLOTHES! I WANT MY BED! I...I..."

Suddenly, Nanaw's teasing flashed into her mind, and she screamed out "I...WANT...MY HUNK MUFFI-I-IIIINNNN! God...DAMMIT!"

She punched the wall angrily while sobbing some more, making a crack, and she suddenly stopped her pathetic mental breakdown to stare at it.

"It's...It's a crack..."

She looked down at her hand and summoned spirit energy, watching it crackle and tingle in her palm, on the tips of her fingers.

Peyton smirked triumphantly, slowly curling her hand into a fist. "I...am OUTTA HERE, bitches."


	82. Gold, Brown Cords, A Return, & Dead Ends

**Me: BACK!**

**Ichigo: (Currently lying in a hospital bed- AGAIN- with his prizes around him. From Josie-Chan, a huge cake that reads "IM SORRY YOUR FRIENDS ARE SO STUPID THAT THEY MAKE U FEEL EVEN MORE BAD/SICK THAN BEFORE!", a lemon poppyseed basket of muffins from xXSweetestXAngelXNightmareXx, and a metal bat and cake depicting him torturing the shit out of Iga Clan ninjas from InugamiGod.) Yeah, yeah.**

**Me: Oh shut up! I didn't hurt you all that bad!**

**Rukia: (Sweatdrops as Ichigo reaches for his pain meds, his arm in a sling and a bandage wrapped around the side of his head) ...No, not at all.**

**Ichigo: Enh! Enh! ENNNNH!**

**Me: (While tossing him the pill bottle) Here. ANYWAY. Thanks for the reviews, ya'll are awesome as usual, keep 'em up! Today's cake ideas brought to you by rainbowdragongirl101: **

**Still Me: ...(Glares at Kon) THAT'S YOUR CUE!**

**Kon: YES, MANDY! (Wheels out Cake 1: Ten layered ice cream cake (Strawberry and Vanilla ice cream to be exact). At the top is Ichigo saving Peyton -who's in his arms- while Seth holds a club and bashes some ninja's head, Lindsay's sitting on top of a pile of ninjas with a sword in her hands, and the other Shinigami are basically doing the same thing all over the cake. The layers get smaller as they go up, giving it a staircase affect.)**

****

Me: (Smile innocently) Since our usual cake-wheeler is bit occupied due to his BIG FAT BASTARDY MOUTH! ...We're using Kon. (Glares at aforementioned stuffed animal) NOW, MORON!

Kon: (Wails) WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO ME? (Sobs and wheels out Cake 2: Peyton on top of a red velvet cake with red icing surrounded by knocked out ninjas as electricity glows around her. The blood of the ninjas spell "I'M OUTTA HERE, BITCHES!"

Me: AAAND last but not least-

Kon: (Wheels out Cake 3 as quickly as possible, not even giving me time to yell at him. It's shaped like a muffin with Peyton jumping on Ichigo as Nanaw yells "I WANT SOME OF DAT HUNK MUFFIN!" With Peyton yelling, "I GET HIM FIRST!" and Ichigo sweatdropping and mumbling, "Why me?") Ta-DAAA!

Me: (Beams) You're LEARNING, Kon! Unlike SOME PEOPLE (starts smacking Ichigo on his un-injured leg to emphasize each word) Who can't. Keep. Their. DAMN. Mouths. SHUT!

Ichigo: ...Bitch.

Me: ICHIGOOOOO!

Rukia: (Winces and eats Chappy treats as she watches our Epic Needle And Syringe and Scalpels Battle) ...Enjoy.

* * *

"Come on...Come on...Come on come on come on..." Peyton muttered, encouraging her arm muscles as she flexed them, causing more and more spirit energy to flow into her fist.

The crack was currently pretty damn huge, if she might say so herself, and she figured one big hit would do enough damage.

Just one...big...hit.

She closed her eyes, breathing deeply. She had about a half-hour until they threw her some food.

That meant a half-hour head start if she could do it right now.

Sure, Peyton didn't have a damn clue what the outside looked like. It could be a high-facility prison with barbed-wire fence for all she knew.

She didn't care. Anywhere was better than this tiny room with the high ceiling and rats.

She counted to ten slowly in her head, flexing twice with each number, then reared back her fist.

With a yell, she hit the wall with all her might, and the structure shuddered. Peyton's eyes noticed a chunk of the wall loosen, the cracks branching out and making more and more chunks.

She grinned excitedly as she punched and kicked the chunks, careful not to fall off her stupid bed, not even registering the pain from her now-slightly-bloodied knuckles on her right hand.

Peyton nearly cried when it crumbled, revealing a hole just big enough to squeeze through if she was REALLY determined.

Which she was.

She crawled through head-first, getting caught on the jagged rubble halfway. Trying not to panic, she exhaled as much air as possible, making her poor empty stomach even emptier.

With one final thrust, she fell to the ground.

Peyton cried out happily, laying there for a second and letting the grass tickle her face, breathing in the air with huge gulps, not even caring that it had sliced off some of her shirt and had left a long scrape on her side.

Then she snapped out of it, realizing she didn't have much time, and ran for a wall a good fifty yards ahead, behind which was a dense forest.

_Screw you guys, I'm going home!_

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

"Phew...I don't like this waiting..." Matsumoto said suddenly as she continued to pull her items out of the shopping bag and fold them.

Rukia sweatdropped, looking pointedly at Ichigo. He was passed out on the couch, and even though he was sleeping, he still looked like he was troubled, deep in thought.

"...Yeah. Rangiku, you seem to be taking this the hardest out of all of us," She muttered as Matsumoto cut the tags off with a cheerful snipping sound.

"Everyone grieves in their own little way," the Soul Reaper replied brightly.

Toshiro's temple throbbed as he moved a soccer ball around with the bottom of his foot absently, sitting on the couch and eating some cake Urahara got from the same "unknown source" as last time.

It seemed like Ichigo knew who the "unknown source" was, and even Toshiro was kind of curious about it.

"Why don't you grieve in a method that involves finishing that paperwork?"

"Now now, Captain, you can't just TELL SOMEONE how to grieve! I simply feel that doing paperwork will neither calm my nerves nor help my emotional healing until we leave to rescue Peyton," she said dramatically, staring off into the distance sorrowfully.

His temple throbbed again. "...Dammit, Rangiku!"

She smiled pleasantly and plopped onto the cushion between him and Rukia, making the latter fly into Ichigo, waking him up.

"DAMMIT RUKIA, WHAT DO I GOTTA DO TO GET SOME SLEEP AROUND HERE?"

"BLAME MATSUMOTO, NOT ME! SHE pushed me into you."

"FINE, I WILL!" Ichigo turned his glare onto Matsumoto. "Dammit Matsumoto, what do I gotta do to get some sleep around here?"

She simply pouted while clasping her arms together, busting her infamous "Super-Super-SUPER SIZE!" chest move. "Why sleep, we can have so much fun while awake!"

He spazzed so bad he flipped right over the couch. "DAMMIT!"

"Now, Ichigo, I really don't wanna haveta kick your ass for cheating on Peyton while she's in trouble," scolded a painfully familiar voice.

Everyone's heads whipped around to look at Senna, who grinned and waved cheerfully beside Yoruichi.

Nel's eyes narrowed as the Shininju glomped Ichigo, nearly choking him to death. "OH, YOU POOR ORANGE-HEADED BASTARD! I HEARD ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND! I'M GONNA GET HER BACK, I PROMISE!"

"WE are going to get her back," Toshiro corrected.

Senna shrugged. "Whatever floats your boat."

Nel wedged herself between Senna and Ichigo, resting on his shoulders. "Who might YOU be, and why are you hugging Itsygo? That's Nel's and Itsygo's girlfwiend's job!"

Everyone sweatdropped, and Renji grinned. "Damn, Strawberry. Even when your girlfriend's not around, you _always_ manage to have at least two chicks fighting over you."

"Oh, you can just kiss my ASS!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

"This way!"

"No, she went _that _way! I feel her reiatsu strongest over here!"

"Dammit dammit dammit dammit gooooddddd daaaammmittt!" She hissed as she continued running, stumbling through bushes and over tree roots.

Peyton had no idea where she was, other than that it looked a lot like Soul Society. She knew she had scratches all over her arms and legs by now, and her knuckles were starting to swell.

She didn't care. She just wanted to get far away from them.

But since when did things go her way? Peyton narrowly escaped tripping and therefore succumbing to the most common fate of heroines in scary situations, and was congratulating herself in her head when a throwing knife whizzed right past her, slicing her forearm and successfully scaring the crap out of her.

She cried out but kept running, trying to keep herself calm, which lasted pretty well. Until, that is, a ninja popped up right in front of her, grabbing her by the front of her shirt.

Peyton summoned some spirit energy, effectively blasting him in the chest, and kept running. Dammit, that had caused a delay, meaning the other ninjas hot on her trail had caught up and were practically on her heels.

She could practically feel them breathing down her neck, and her legs were begging her to stop, but she just pushed herself even more, rushing into a full-out sprint.

Unfortunately, that wasn't good enough. Peyton heard branches snapping, and one fell, clipping her heel and sending her flying.

She struggled to her feet, but nearly tripped over a ninja that jumped in front of her from a nearby tree.

Two more appeared, grabbing both her arms and placing some cold metal around them. It took her a minute to realize they were handcuffs.

She scoffed and tried to summon spirit energy...only to find that it was more difficult than it had ever been, then she had ever IMAGINED it could be.

Peyton felt tears sting her eyes as someone kicked her legs out from under her and she was suddenly on the ground, then airborne, caught by someone.

They were running.

The wall came into view.

Her vision grew dark. She didn't want to see any more of her epic failure. "Ichigo...You guys...hurry up," she muttered groggily, her words slurred.

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE, HOURS ****LATER...**_

"Ichigo..."

_**Crunch-Crunch-Crunch-Crunch.**_

"Ichigo."

_**Crunch-Crunch-Crunch-Crunch.**_

"ICHIGO!"

_**CRUNCH.**_

"WHAT?" He snapped, turning to look at Rukia. She and the others (minus Nel and Senna) were well behind him, looking pretty tired.

"Let's call it a night. We can resume in the morning."

"Are you insane? We're finally out here, on our way to rescue her...from A HORRIBLE DEATH...and you wanna 'resume in the morning'?"

"We can't fight very well if we're tired," Rukia replied as if talking to a toddler.

Ichigo felt his jaw clench. "Yeah, well, I'm sure Peyton's tired too. But I'll bet my autographed Social Distortion CDs that she's still fighting, right now. If she's not giving up, neither am I."

With that, he kept walking, and Senna waited for him to catch up. She looked at the Soul Reapers pointedly. "He's right, you know."

"Ichigo..."

Orihime looked at the others before jogging to catch up to him. "I'm with you."

"You guys can rest if you want and catch up to us later, but I'm gonna keep going until I collapse," he told Rukia, who sighed heavily and stomped after him.

Everyone else followed, cursing him with every step. Not that he really cared. He knew he was being a stubborn ass, but dammit, she was counting on them!

Counting on him.

He wasn't about to slack off when she needed him the most. Matsumoto sighed heavily. "I bet that poor kid's about to crack any minute now..."

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

"Ohhh...my...GOOOODDDD," Peyton moaned, sinking lower into the steaming hot bath water. The two women they sent to keep an eye on her as she bathed watched in amusement at her immense pleasure.

"I've never been so happy to epically fail in an escape attempt in my WHOLE LIFE," she informed them.

Peyton figured there was some major downside to all this wonderful treatment, but dammit, she was gonna enjoy it.

"Yoruichi was SO right...This _almost _makes up for lack of sex..." The women giggled at that, and one of them whispered in that high-pitched girly voice common among gossiping ladies, "She must be talking about that orange-haired man."

Peyton opened one eye to look at them suspiciously. "How do YOU know about Ichigo?"

They stopped their giggling to look at her strangely, and the older of the two spoke first. "_Everyone _in Soul Society knows of the orange-haired substitute Shinigami that rescued Kuchiki Rukia from her execution a year or two ago."

Peyton sat up a little, both eyes now open and bright with curiosity. "REALLY, now? Why was Rukia going to be executed?"

The younger one opened her mouth to answer, but the older one elbowed her not-so-subtly. "We are not permitted to talk to those sentenced to death about other crimes punished with the death penalty."

She shrugged and blew water bubbles. "Whatever. Just curious."

After a few moments, she processed what the woman said and slowly ceased her bubbles. "I...I'm sentenced...TO DEATH?"

The women jumped, eyes wide. "You did not _know_?"

"OF COURSE NOT! IF I HAD, I WOULDN'T BE SITTING HERE TALKING TO YOU SO CALMLY!"

The younger one eyed her disdainfully. "How can the human being responsible for the death of our great leader _not _expect to be punished?"

"...Come again? The only dude I've killed is that Bount boy...wait...WAIT a minute."

Peyton gasped. "DAMN NINJAS!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

After a few more hours of running, and walking, and shunpoing, and running again, they managed to get through the woods and came to a rather tall wall.

They exchanged looks, and Senna nodded. "This is it. Can't you feel it? It practically REEKS of Iga Aura."

Ichigo and Matsumoto were the first to scale the fence, jumping down with ease. Next came Rukia and Renji, who caught the former by the waist as she nearly faceplanted.

Matsumoto turned to look at them and smirked. "Now's not the time to be getting physical back there!"

"SHUT UP RANGIKU!"

"Shhh!" Senna and Nel hissed. "Dey might be listening!"

After staring at the part-cement-part-wooden structure for a moment, Ichigo noticed a random scrap caught on some rubble from the cement wall to his right.

He walked towards it, then ran when he recognized it as part of Peyton's shirt. As he removed it from the debris, he noticed something glinting on the ground.

"Maybe we should check the perimeter, she's obviously been moved to another more secure cell," Toshiro commented.

They all nodded, and ran off into different directions to inspect the building. Senna paused to look at Ichigo with concern as he stared down at the object in his hand, then shook her head and ran off to check around the outside of the wall again.

Ichigo wiped the dirt off with his thumb, staring down at the shiny thing for a minute longer before sighing and sticking it into his Soul Reaper robes.

It was a necklace. A gold necklace with Japanese writing and a thick brown cord.

* * *

"You mean to tell me...I'm gonna die...because I killed your corrupt leader? AND YET YOU GIGGLE ABOUT MY SEX LIFE- or leack thereof lately- AND ACT AS IF WE WERE AT A TEA PARTY OR SOME SHIT?"

The women blinked at her, their gazes hardened and cold now. "Perhaps Master Kyabetsu was right when he said it was best not to talk to the prisoners."

Peyton sweatdropped. "Your great leader's name translates into _cabbage_. You know that, right?"

They ignored her. "Or perhaps we just shouldn't have brought up her execution."

"YA THINK?"

They paused as they heard someone running outside the door in the hallway. Peyton almost stood completely out of the bathtub, her face flushing happily. She knew that sound, she knew it anywhere.

The sound of Soul Reaper shoes.

* * *

They all met up in the main room, breathing heavy. "Anything, Orihime?"

"No...Not a thing. Rangiku?"

"Nope. How about you, Senna?"

"Negative. Nothing around the wall. And Rukia?"

"Afraid not. What about you, Toshiro?"

"No. Ichigo?"

"Dammit, if I had, would I be here right now?" He snapped, having been sweatdropping at their calm exchanges.

Rukia stomped her foot. "Dammit, Ichigo, no need to get all pissy! We don't like this any more than YOU DO!" She stomped her foot again for emphasis, and they all watched in amazement as a wall opened to their far left.

Senna was the first to get to it. "It leads into a hallway! I see...I see..._steam_?"

Everyone sweatdropped and ran after her, running to inspect each of the seven doors in the hall. Ichigo was the last to get to his, the last one on the hall.

He kicked down the door, and his eyes widened...

* * *

Peyton shot back down as a man in fancier clothes than the ninja assassins strode in, not even looking in her direction.

"See to it that the prisoner recieves a warm meal and clean clothes. And a satisfactory bed."

"Why the hell are you being so nice to me? I thought I was ordered to be _executed_?" She snapped, glaring at them all from where she sat, stewing in her own filth.

He really did look at her this time, staring at her, assessing her. Peyton flushed for an entirely different reason as his cold gaze grew even colder. She didn't really care what he thought about her being naked, there was only ONE person's opinions in that department that she cared about.

It was those eyes.

Those cold eyes.

"Jukeishas in a predicament such as yours should not question amenities, but readily accept them and graciously thank their suppliers."

"Why the hell would I thank _you_, you NOT ONLY kidnapped me and put me through misery the past couple weeks, but you just called me a convict with a really nasty look on your face as if I were trash. So...FUCK YOU."

The two women looked at her as if she were the scariest, rudest, bravest person they'd ever seen.

They then looked in disbelief at their superior, who simply held up a few fingers. "Three days. Three days until you are free of your duties, no longer have to tend to this filthy wretch, and the power of our Clan is tripled."

He then turned to Peyton, who was holding up a very special finger of her own, and he glared at her before strolling out of the room as if he had won.

Which he hadn't.

She _loved _using that finger.

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

"If they're not here, where the HELL are they?" Rukia asked no one in particular as they stared at the empty indoor hot spring, no one quite in the mood for bathing.

Obviously.

None of them were happy about this, but Ichigo was definitely taking it the hardest. He was currently perched on the windowsill, twirling some kind of shiny thing between his fingers with one of the saddest expressions she'd ever seen.

She hated seeing him like this.

But what could she do?

The other Soul Reapers were all sitting scattered around the room, legs crossed, eyes closed, trying to sense Peyton's reiatsu.

Senna sighed. "It's no good. Her reiatsu's been sealed off."

"How do you know?"

"Because on my way to Kisuke's shop I was trying to find her reiatsu, and when I did...it just...got cut off. Almost as if it were eradicated."

She stuttered at the stricken expression that almost immediately crossed Ichigo's face. "U-Uhhh, but then it rose a little! It rose a little, then vanished completely except for the tiniest throbs. So I assume they used some type of device to seal off her reiatsu. They probably realized she had managed to help you all sense her the night before."

Toshiro stood suddenly. "I remember reading about that! They have these type of handcuffs that seal off the wearer's reiatsu! ...Only..." He glanced cautiously at Ichigo, who just sighed impatiently.

"Spit it out, stop looking at me like I'm gonna pass out."

"Well, after wearing them long enough, the wearer's strength gets weaker and weaker. They play tricks on the mind. They cause depression, fatigue, even illness. Maybe death after the wearer becomes too sick to eat or drink. Resistance would be futile. The Iga Clan probably used them to make the execution go by smoother and without any hitches. It would take an immense amount of strength and...an _insane _amount of luck...to even come _close_ to using reiatsu while under the influence of those handcuffs. The victim would essentially be powerless in the face of death."

Ichigo's face, which had looked ashen before, looked even worse now. _So...She's a victim now to you guys?_

But to his credit, he simply nodded and cleared his throat, looking down at her necklace one more time and for a second there, he flashed back to the day he gave it to her and she essentially flipped him over her right in the middle of the street.

He stuffed it back into his robes before walking out of the room and down the hall. "Well then, we better start looking for her so we can help her daring escape."


	83. Reflection And Stars And Stephanie

**Me: Back again! **

**Ichigo: (Wallowing in self-pity, eating a strawberry-shaped chocolate cake with strawberry décor from animelover1993) My life SUCKS ASS.**

**Me: (Pats head) It'll get better! ...Eventually. Maybe. Hey, be good and maybe, JUST MAYBE, i'll be nice enough to throw you in a lemon soon!**

**Ichigo: A...A lemon? As in...A LEMON? THE FANFIC DEFINITION?**

**Me: You bet your ass!**

**Ichigo: (Glomps me) YESYESYESYESYES!**

**Me: (Temple throb) You gotta be a good boy, though!**

**Rukia: What is he, a do...(Trails off as Ichigo sits in a rather dog-like position and i toss him tiny candies)**

**Rukia Still: ...A dog? Enjoy...**

* * *

"Itsygo?"

"Huh?"

"How is Itsygo not tired?" Nel asked with a yawn from his shoulder.

"Because...I dunno. I guess because I'm too ready for this to end, to sleep and make it last longer," he said thoughtfully.

She nodded, satsified. "Dat makes sense, Itsygo. Nel tinks Itsygo's girlfwiend is weady for dis to all end too..."

Ichigo felt a pang as he realized how much he wished Peyton was on his back right now, so much it almost hurt him physically, but simply nodded. "I do too."

"Matsumoto sure is," the aforementioned Soul Reaper added from behind them groggily, making everyone roll their eyes.

Ichigo hated how they hadn't been attacked by any Iga Clan ninjas yet. He kept his contact lenses constantly on their aura, and couldn't see a damn thing as far as assassins were concerned.

It made him nervous, it made him think they weren't on the right trail. If there even WAS a trail. They could've taken her to Hueco Mundo or even back to _his_ house for all he knew.

Everyone else was probably thinking about the same thing, too. He knew they were tired. It had been a day and a half since they had hit that dead end.

Senna had realized early on that she could sense the Iga Clan's aura at a further range than they could, they could mostly just SEE it.

So she was trying her hardest to do just that. She and Ichigo were the only ones who hadn't stopped to rest once during their visit to Soul Society.

Even Nel had stopped to rest with Rukia so she could color for a moment.

But he refused to. Sappy and slightly-dramatic as it might be, every time he felt like stopping he unconsciously gripped Peyton's necklace and decided to keep going until he collapsed.

...Which he had done.

...Twice.

And THEN he stopped for about thirty seconds or five minutes, however long it took for him to wake up/get up.

So technically he had stopped twice.

Senna refused to rest simply because she insisted as soon as she did they'd miss an important clue as to where she was.

"How long do you think we have until she's executed?" Senna asked no one in particular.

"Not long. If they've got her in the handcuffs and moved to a different facility, my guess would be no more than four days. Five at best," Toshiro answered grimly.

Ichigo sighed, glancing up at the stars before closing his eyes briefly. Where the hell could she be?

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

The bed was so comfortable. Last night, despite being terrified of her death sentence, Peyton had sighed contentedly and fallen asleep in mere seconds.

Tonight, she was staring out her window. The two women were asleep. They had referred to the place as a sort of "Solitary Cell of Reflection".

Where she was supposed to reflect on her crimes.

But like hell Peyton was thinking about THAT. She had killed that dude under fair terms, she didn't feel the least bit guilty.

She had saved lives, taking his. His fault for choosing the wrong side.

But she _was _reflecting. She was thinking about everything that had happened, from her last day in Tennessee to the day she was kidnapped.

"Jeez, it could all fill a book," she said out loud, earning a snore from one of the girls.

She didn't turn her head to see which one.

Somehow, Peyton got onto the mental topic of grapefruits, which led to her thinking of other fruits, right until she got to orange.

THEN guess who she thought of.

As if he hadn't been on her mind often enough already. She wondered what he was doing, and where he was. She wondered if he ever felt pain when he thought of her, like she did about him, knowing she might die and never get to see him again.

Not that she didn't have all her faith in Ichigo. Peyton just knew how her luck worked, and when her luck would inevitably run out.

She closed her eyes briefly as she felt a pang once her first time crossed into her mind. The _feeling _it had given her. The feeling every time _after that _gave her. Oh, what she'd give to be laying there with him right now, both of them trying to come down from such a high, even IF someone was always totally ruining it.

A tear slid down her cheek, and she didn't bother wiping it away.

_I hate reflection. It's so painful. Damn ninjas and their mind tricks. _

Peyton wondered if it would hurt terribly when she died. Of course there'd be pain, but...how long would it last?

And if she died in Soul Society, where would she go from there? Reincarnation? Constant darkness until the world ended?

What?

That's when she felt real fear sink in. Genuine, cold fear, gripping her throat and making it feel as if she were being choked.

It felt like her stomach was that giant ball on New Year's Eve, and the clock in New York City had just hit zero, making it crash to her toes.

Realizing she wasn't just SAYING she could easily die, but that she really, truly, honestly could...It was terrifying.

She hated this. She _hated _feeling helpless. Peyton glanced down at her handcuffs, more tears stinging her eyes, blurring her vision.

"Less than two days..."

She nearly started flat-out bawling when she saw a shooting star streak down the sky, looking like it had landed right beside her window.

"...Goddammit, mom, I'm just like you. I have the best intentions, but someone always ends up crying," she whispered with a half-sob-half-laugh.

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

"Ichigo...I really hate to point this out, but...We really should stop to rest. It's been almost three days since we got to Soul Society, and we need to be in the best possible shape to stop these guys," Senna said carefully.

Ichigo sighed as he kept walking, slowing to a stop. When he actually stopped, he almost instantly slid to the ground.

He sweatdropped. "...Guess you're right..."

Everyone sighed gratefully and collapsed on the side of the road, breathing heavily. As the others talked about things like battle strategies and torture devices- things he could go his whole life without hearing about ever again-, his damn mind started whirring again.

Like he did at least eighty times a day, Ichigo wondered what she was doing right this second. Was she thinking about him? Did she even think he was coming for her?

Had she realized she lost her necklace yet? Did she even care? Stupid question. Peyton always fiddled with it, she loved that necklace, whether she'd ever fully admit it or not.

He knew she loved it from the second he slipped it around her neck.

Ichigo knew it was kind of random, but he thought about the day she convinced almost all of Karakura High that "Schmorange" was indeed a word and beloved soda and gum franchise from America.

And the day they and his family all got into Ghostbusters and quoted it almost word-for word. And the time he totally made the best grilled cheese ever.

And Disney World. Oh damn, how could he _ever _forget Disney World?

Ichigo thought it was a bit unbelievable, to think about what major events would never happen if the people involved didn't do something so simple.

If Rukia hadn't let him take care of that ONE Hollow alert in particular. If he hadn't dragged Peyton along and told her everything.

If she hadn't believed him.

If he had never been in the cemetary that day. If that ghost kid, Hura was it? ...If he hadn't asked for their help.

If she hadn't said yes when Jake asked her out. If he hadn't marched after them, if she hadn't said yes when he brought up _ditching _Jake.

If there hadn't been a fair that day. If fireworks hadn't been involved- oh, DAMN. If those fireworks hadn't happened, he might've never really noticed how beautiful she was, and probably never would've decided they were worth each other's time.

And if Toshiro hadn't talked him into making that note.

And if there had never been mistletoe at that party.

If she hadn't said yes when HE asked her out, if that Hollow hadn't been on Expedition Everest, if he hadn't been hit by that lightning.

If her uncle never went to jail, and that phone conversation and those voicemails never happened, if their lists hadn't been written.

If he hadn't just manned up and told her he loved her, in person. If Byakuya and the rest of Gotei 13 hadn't showed up.

And if he had never eaten that cake. Or MORE IMPORTANTLY, if Peyton hadn't wanted him badly enough to shave her legs.

If they hadn't had the strength to do it twice that day. If Hiyori and Shinji hadn't busted down his do-...No, he could totally live without that happening.

It'd be so fricking great if he could just go back to that day, that day right there. Back to the part where she thanked him.

Yeah. And let it play all the way to one millisecond before the damn Vizards showed up. And then pause. And replay until he couldn't take it anymore.

...Could he just do that?

"Nel doesn't see why not, Itsygo." He jumped, looking at them strangely.

* * *

Orihime and Matsumoto looked like they were about to cry, and Senna was staring at him with a really sappy expression on her face.

Rukia was looking away, blinking a bit fast. Renji and Toshiro's jaws were on the ground.

"...Dude...That whole thing was just...so...DEEP," Renji finally said.

Toshiro nodded. "It's quite unlike you."

"Oh. I said all that out loud, really? Hey...WAIT a minute...WHADDAYA MEAN IT'S QUITE UNLIKE ME?"

Rukia ignored that. "You really miss her, don't you?"

"Damn, Rukia, what the HELL do YOU think?"

She shrugged. "I didn't realize exactly to what EXTENT your internal pain was. Until now..."

Senna suddenly pointed to the sky. "Holy crap, look at THAT!"

Ichigo and everyone else glanced up in time to see a shooting star falling to their far right, almost deliberately landing somewhere down there.

* * *

His eyes widened.

_"You wanna know about something weird?"_

_"You mean besides you?"_

_"Yes, besides me."_

_"Okay."_

_"After mom died, whenever me or anyone else in the family was having a hard time or something, we'd see a falling star. Every time. But I've never seen one that big.."_

_Ichigo looked at her. "You know what I think?"_

_"You think?"_

_"I'm serious. I think that was your mom's birthday present to you."_

_Peyton grinned. "Maybe so. Maybe so.."_

_He squeezed her shoulder. "You alright?" She smiled at him, wiping at the bottom rims of her eyes quickly. "Huh? Oh, yeah, fine."_

He shot up and ran towards where it fell. "That's her, that's Stephanie tipping us off!"

"Stephanie?" Senna wondered. Rukia stood up as well, running after him. "Peyton's mom. Ichigo, what the hell gave you that idea?"

"Whenever she's in trouble, or having a hard time, Peyton always sees a shooting star. Every time. It's Stephanie. She's telling us where she is. I just know it, I swear my iPod, and my bank account, and anything else valuable on it!" He said excitedly, running as fast as he could.

"Did anyone get a good look on where it landed?"

"It looked to be about eighty to two hundred miles west of here, past Soul Society's border," Toshiro answered.

"Awesome!" Senna cheered, catching up with the Soul Reapers with relative ease.

"AwesomeSAUCE," Ichigo corrected before laughing. "Itsygo, your girlfwiend's mom sends pwetty hints," Nel informed him as she finally managed to hop onto his shoulders.

Ichigo smiled. "Doesn't she?"

"I guess Itsygo's girlfwiend had to get her pwettiness from somewhere, right?"

"Right."

_Thank you, Stephanie. I'll bring her back home soon, back to Mark._


	84. Miscommunication, Heartbreak, & Sorrow

**Me: We're back again! **

**Rukia: Thank CHAPPY you're uploading so fast.**

**Me: (Narrows eyes) Do not DARE utter that name.**

**Ichigo: (Rolls eyes) Hey, broads, hurry up, i wanna keep going!**

**Me: Whatever. BUT FIRST! (Claps hand like an emperor)**

**Kon: COMING, MASTER MANDY! **

**Me: I present to you, the latest cakes, courtesy of Mer, aka the shiniest pebble EVER!**

**Kon: Ta-DAAA! (Wheels in Cake 1. It's in the shape of a white shooting star with light blue tails. It has a dark blue outline made of frosting. On top is a figure of Peyton sitting and Ichigo running to her but they are seperated by a silver wall. There is a thin wire with a mini shooting star that looks exactly like the cake (minus the figures and the wall). In front of the wall, Peyton, and Ichigo is some writing that says: 'Thank You Stephanie'. **

**Me: Awesome, no? CAKE NUMBER TWO!**

**Kon: (Jumps in fear) Y-Yes, MASTER MANDY! (Wheels in a giant muffin that looks like any other muffin except for the statue of Ichigo on it that, by the way, is ALSO made of muffin. It has choclate chip eye balls! 'Hunk Muffin' is inscribed out of choclate chips near Ichigo's feet.)**

**Ichigo: (Attacks muffin) MUFFIN! OMNOMNOMNOMNOM. **

**Me: (Sweatdrops) ...Ehh, why not? (Attacks shooting star cake AND muffin)**

**Rukia: ...What...the fuck, you guys? (Shrugs) Gah, what the hell. (Attacks it as well)**

**All Together: OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM! (Translation: Enjoy.)**

* * *

One more day. She had one more full day to live, and then the following day was her execution date.

Peyton never thought she'd actually say that. She had always thought her death would be a surprise, like most people.

Which was quite stupid, since everyone knew she definitely didn't fall under the category of "most people".

They were moving her to the cell used for a prisoner's last night on the earth. Not Earth, since this WAS the Soul Society, but the earth.

Again, she wondered where she'd go after she died. The women insisted she'd go to some other hellish realm of harsh punishment for killing their Leader, so they were pretty much useless in answering her question since they were full of crap.

Then a thought occurred to her as they were escorting her down to her last room. That shooting star last night...her mom...was she here? In Soul Society?

Did she know her daughter needed her help?

Then an even more desperate thought crossed her mind. What if Ichigo had seen it? Would he think it was a clue, would he follow it? Would he find her in time?

Would he?

Lately, Peyton felt like she was on the brink of depression. Didn't feel like eating or sleeping, sad all the time.

But that thought about Ichigo seeing the star made her stand straighter, walk more proudly, not look so broken. That thought made her hopeful again.

And for that...for the looks she was able to put on passersby's faces as they stared at the proud and fearless prisoner who killed their corrupt former leader...she would always be grateful for.

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

"76 miles...72 miles...69 mi-" Renji and Ichigo started laughing and stopped for a second. "We're exactly 69 miles away from your girlfriend. That's no coincidence, dude!"

"IDIOTS, WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO WASTE!" Orihime and Senna shouted from up ahead, still running.

They cleared their throat, and Ichigo easily gained the lead again. "Right, right, sorry."

Toshiro rolled his eyes and shook his head before continuing to count down the miles. When he got to 50, Senna said she could feel Iga Clan energy. A lot of it.

Unfortunately, most of it seemed to be their welcoming party. Before they were even out of the dense woods that seemed so popular around here, they were surrounded.

Ichigo sighed and whipped out Zangetsu. "You...REALLY don't wanna fuck with me right now," he growled as he approached the first one with a homicidal and slightly-psychotic look on his face, no Hichigo necessary to put it there.

Poor ninjas.

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

The room wasn't so bad. It was warm, inviting. She got to take another bath, and even shave her legs with this really soft shaving cream.

About eight dudes came in while she was bathing, and she couldn't care less. At least three of them flat-out ogled her, but again, she couldn't care less.

For one thing, she was dying tomorrow and would never see those dudes again. For another, if she DIDN'T die tomorrow, not only would she never see those dudes again, but then she'd be with Ichigo, and his opinion was the only one that mattered in the nakedness department.

And he sure as hell never complained, to say the least.

The thought that maybe these ninjas wouldn't be the last to see her naked after all made her grin from ear to ear and giggle mid-shaving-stroke.

She laughed so hard she had to put down the razor before she cut a vital organ, making the two women watch her with interest and slight worry.

"...I suppose the reiatsu-sealing binds are starting to really affect her," the younger one whispered.

The younger one didn't seem too bothered with Peyton, even found her intriguing. The older one, however, seemed utterly convinced Peyton had ruined her life once she killed her former leader.

Not that Peyton cared what the hell these ninjas thought about her anyway. They wouldn't matter come tomorrow.

Later that night, she laid in her bed and stared through the window to her left. Her whole body felt soft and refreshed, she felt tired, her head injury was still occasionally throbbing, yet she couldn't sleep.

Knowing this might be her last night alive.

She was still wondering if maybe Ichigo would save her, but at the same time, death seemed a bit inevitable.

After pondering it some more for about two hours, she sighed tiredly and closed her eyes. "Goodnight, Ichigo. I love you. ...Dammit, do I love you."

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

"Dammit!" Ichigo muttered as they finally killed the last one. It was the middle of the night now, the damn ninjas had kept coming and coming.

"On the bright side, there must not be a lot more left where Peyton is. She and Senna killed more than half of their population," Rukia pointed out.

Senna pointed to their right. "This way. Southwest. I'd say about fifty to sixty miles."

He nodded and they set off in that direction. "Good. They didn't push us too far back."

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

She was almost asleep when there was pounding on her door. The two women jerked awake, and the eldest walked as quickly as her kimono would allow to answer the door.

A man was standing there. They started talking in fast Japanese, but Peyton could just barely make out "Orange-haired" and "long sword".

She shot even further into a sitting position, her eyes wide and her smile huge. With a final "Hai," the door was shut, and the older woman stared at her.

"Ichigo's here? Ichigo's coming? I heard him mentioned, don't dare lie to me!"

Her eyes got even colder. "Very well then. I was hoping I would not have to be the one to tell you. Yes, your lover came looking for you. He was killed about fifty miles west from here."

Her heart dropped to her toes, and she honestly felt like it had cracked into tiny pieces. "...Wh-What?"

She started trembling, looking down at her hands as if she could see his blood on them. "He...He's not dead. He's not. Ichigo Kurosaki does not DIE! He doesn't!"

Her stomach hurt. Her chest felt like it was ripping at the seams. Her head was swimming.

_This can't be real. This can't be real. This CAN'T be real, it can't! Ichigo doesn't die. He always wins. He's the good guy. He's not supposed to die like this!_

"Unfortunately, it's true. My condolences," she said simply before laying back down and falling asleep in no time.

Peyton sank back against her pillow, tears running down her face quicker than she could count them, trying to ignore the look of pure sympathy on the younger woman's face.

_Ichigo...This is all my fault. I...I just wanted to go home. I never thought about the fighting you might have to do. I never thought you'd lose. No, you can't lose. You can't. You're alive. You must be. You...Ichigo...I.._

That whole night, people passing by the brave and fearless prisoner's final room on this earth heard nothing but her heartwrenching sobs.

_**

* * *

**_

_**THE ****NEXT DAY. EXECUTION DAY...**_

After a long delay due to more ninjas, and healing, which led to them all being a bit tired (especially Orihime, who was healing Soul Reapers left and right), they ended up pretty much falling asleep right after battle.

Needless to say, when they woke up, they were instantly sprinting the rest of the thirty-seven miles between them and Peyton.

"How many days does she have left?"

"Ichigo, you act as if I know," Toshiro said dully.

"Well you knew everything ELSE concerning this whole damn crapfest."

The Captain's temple throbbed, and he simply looked straight ahead. "Thirty-four miles..."

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

_**Shrrrrk. Clink. **_

She didn't even wince as the handcuffs were tightened against her wrist. She'd lost weight since they were first put on, which didn't surprise her. She hadn't eaten for almost four days.

Peyton especially didn't feel like eating _today_.

Her expression remained empty as her hair was brushed and swept all to one side, braided as tightly as possible to be kept out of the way during her execution. Her eyes were darker than usual, lackluster.

It took them about five tries due to her hair's stubbornness. Peyton was stubborn once. Now that Ichigo was dead, what did she have to be stubborn about?

Who was left to argue with?

Certainly not these people. They wouldn't smile at her like he did after every single argument, after every single debate.

_He_ wouldn't smile at her like that anymore, either. He was dead, Peyton, remember?

_Dead because of you._

The thought of what his family would be going through any day now was too much to bear, almost worse than the sheer fact that he was gone.

She felt...empty. Hollow. Like someone could hit her with a tiny pebble and she'd smash to a million pieces.

She'd felt constant grief for hours now, it almost felt like no emotion at all. Although, she ALMOST felt anger as they tied her braid with a white ribbon and got out some powder.

They must have wanted her to be a _pretty _prisoner when she was killed.

But then Peyton decided they could do whatever the hell they wanted, what did it matter?

Some of her usual personality came back once she saw the white kimono laid out for her and the younger one commented that it was to signify purity.

"But I'm one of the furthest things from pure there is. I'm not even a virgin, for fuck's sake," she replied dullly.

They exchanged a look before nodding and pulling out a black kimono. Peyton sighed and shook her head as she reached to grab it, but the older one slapped her hand.

"No, this is our job. Besides, those handcuffs would prevent you from doing it properly."

"And what makes you think YOU can do it with the cuffs on?"

They exchanged a smirk as the younger one undid the cuffs and unfolded the kimono, while the older one held a blade against Peyton's throat lightly.

"Like so. I dare you to move; I won't hesitate to kill you where you stand. There are other ways to gain power, you are quite expendable."

Peyton didn't even blink, her arms limp at her sides as the younger woman undressed and dressed her.

"You honestly think I would? ...What is there left for me to fight for? I'm so miserable that...death doesn't sound half bad. The guy I gave everything to is dead thanks to me, I'm starving to death, and a naked chick like me wouldn't get very far in the first place, now, would she?"

The blade was pressed to her throat a little harder, putting pressure against the skin. Ninja code for "shut the hell up, smartass".

So the smartass shut the hell up.

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

"Twenty-two miles...Twenty miles...Nineteen-point-five..."

Ichigo wished he could run faster. Something was gnawing at his gut, as if he were running out of time.

In more than the usual paranoid way. This felt more like the day she was kidnapped. The day he should've listened.

And now, when Ichigo was willing to listen, he couldn't do much about it. A pure testament to how completely and totally SHITTY his luck was.

"Twelve miles...Eleven miles..."

Senna suddenly broke off from everyone else and went to their left. "This way! That way's a trap!"

"How do you know?"

"I sense her reiatsu over here!"

Ichigo slowed a little as he tried to focus on reiatsu while running. "...What?"

Sure enough, he could feel it too. It was tiny, increasing little by little, but it was there and it was hers.

_What the hell?_

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

While the slim chance that she might end up in the same place as Ichigo was a bit comforting, Peyton was about to leave the room when she realized he would want her to live no matter what.

If she let herself die, he would've died for absolutely nothing.

She had to live. She had to, no matter how much she might want to die without him there.

Peyton looked down at her hands, handcuffed again, focusing on her reiatsu as both her arms were grabbed at the elbows, which were bent, and she was led down the halls.

Through the maze they went.

_I have to live...no matter what..._

Peyton felt herself getting tired with each burst of spirit energy she attempted to force out, but she kept going. She had to live.

She _had _to live.

* * *

"Ten miles...Nine miles...Eight...Seven...Six...Five miles...Four...Three...Two-point-six miles..."

Ichigo suddenly stopped, able to make out some sort of man-made hill in the distance. On it, there was a sort of scaffold set up, minus the hangman's rope.

Near which a figure in black was on their knees, it looked like they were shaking with sobs. They had bright red hair in a braid being whipped around by the wind.

* * *

Peyton was trying as hard as she could, and could feel her reiatsu leaking, but her spirit energy was refusing to come.

It was around the time she began to get frustrated to tears that the hill came into view. There was barely anyone there, save for a man and the two women by her sides.

A couple other men as well.

It was the scaffold with the strange and extremely-painful-looking device in front of it that terrified her, and her hands reflexively shot up to her neck to grab her necklace.

...But it wasn't there.

She felt panic rising, looking at the women. "Did one of you take it? Who took my necklace?"

The older one scoffed. "We do not take the cursed items of those condemned to die, such as yourself, Cullen." She spat on the ground after mentioning her name, and Peyton's mind started racing.

Did she...Oh no. Oh _shit_. When she escaped the first cell. She must've lost it then, when she lost some of her shirt as well.

Peyton sank to her knees, starting to sob uncontrollably. "I need my necklace...I can't lose that! I can't lose the only thing I have left of him! Why can't I keep one thing of his to myself? I can't...I can't die without wearing that necklace...!"

The older woman stared at the younger one, who was on the brink of tears at Peyton's distress. "Mizuho! We must get her up!"

"But...Yuma-Senpai...Can you not see? Her heart...Her heart is _broken_. Can we not let her have a moment?"

Yuma wrenched Peyton up by her elbow, and Mizuho reluctantly grabbed the other one as Peyton hung her head, sobbing and pulling her wrists in a rather odd fashion.

No matter how distressed she was, Peyton was still trying to summon spirit energy. She would not die here.

_Ichigo won't die for nothing._

* * *

They watched from their two-point-six-mile distance as she was yanked upwards and dragged by two women in white towards the scaffold.

Before they could move to do anything about it, however, they felt Iga Aura all around them, and Ichigo's pulse skyrocketed.

He wasn't going to make it. He wasn't going to make it...

The ninjas appeared out of nowhere, and he suddenly ducked under Renji's arm and made a mad sprint for the hill. "The _hell _I won't make it!" He shouted.

"GO ITSYGO, GO!" Nel cheered.

Ichigo gripped Zangetsu tighter. "I won't let you die. Not for something like this. You won't die for nothing, Peyton, not here!"


	85. Cabbage Douche, Yuma, & Ichigo's Hotness

**Me: BACK! The epic battle sequence!**

**Ichigo: (Currently devouring his lightning muffin full of genuine lightningy energy from XxRikela-chanxX) OMNOMNOMNOM**

**Me: (Sweatdrops) ...Ichigo? Weren't you doing something important? Like, oh, i dunnoooo...SAVING PEYTON FROM A HORRIBLE PAINFUL DEATH?**

**Ichigo: Oh, RIGHT! (runs off)**

**Rukia: (Shakes head) Dumbass. But ANYWAY, on to our new cake! (Looks at me)**

**Me: (Snaps fingers all important-like) KOOOOONNN!**

**Kon: (Wheels in New Cake from Mer as fast as his little legs can carry him) Ta-DAAA! (It's in the shape of flames. It's mainly red but it has some white. It has a life-sized sculture of Zangetsu made out of icing. Inscribed on one side is, 'Dude, What's With Robe?' in blue letters made of icing. There are three swords made of candy sticking out on each side of the flames except for the side with the fic title.)**

**Me and Rukia: (Eating popcorn and taking pics of all our epic cakes we've gotten in the past month or so) YAY! NOOOOWWWW...**

**Rukia: ENJOY!**

* * *

Peyton was dragged up to the scaffold, up the steps. She stumbled about halfway up, falling on her stomach and staying there, sobbing about the damn necklace.

With a growl of irritation, Yuma yanked her back up so hard she felt her wrist twinge in pain, making her cry out.

"Hurry up! We do not have time to waste on the misery of a wretch like you!"

Mizuho watched in awe as Yuma led her up there herself, not bothering to wait on the guilty-looking younger handmaiden.

She pulled Peyton to stand in front of the device before pushing her downward, so she was on her knees.

She heard the clunking of rather heavy and ominous shoes. Another man came around her side, spit on the ground close to her, and moved to stand behind the device, pushing buttons.

As the machine powered up, Peyton tried even harder to get her spirit energy to manifest. Just a little, even a little, and she'd have at least the slightest chance.

But so far...she was doomed. More doomed than the last turkey in Wal-Mart on Thanksgiving. Amazing, how despite all her grief and pain at the moment, she could still manage to think up a country metaphor.

She heard feet shuffling away as fast as they could. "I will have no part in this...I cannot stand to watch such a barbaric act..." Mizuho was saying a bit desperately as she left the scene.

Peyton squeezed her eyes shut as her braid was pushed over her shoulder, exposing her bare neck as an executioner's blade was put against it, ensuring no mistakes once her abilities were sucked out of her.

_Ichigo...You...You won't die...FOR NOTHING! _

Almost before she could quite hear her name being shouted, Peyton suddenly summoned all the spirit energy she could possibly muster within herself, and felt the handcuffs split at the chain, making her tuck-and-roll out of the way right as the device's light blue beam hit the place she had just been laying.

She laid there for a moment, not believing she was alive, and it was about that time she noticed the big feet in Soul Reaper sandals that she never thought she'd see again...a mere ten feet away, right within her line of vision.

* * *

Ichigo ran as fast as he could for the scaffold as she was led up it. His anger boiled closer and closer to the surface as she fell, started sobbing, was yanked back up, cried out in pain, was shoved to kneel in front of that stupid spirit-sucking device.

He hated it when she cried. But this crying...it was unlike any crying he'd ever seen her do. It was like...she was...he didn't even know.

It was like she had lost everything, like she was heartbroken.

Ichigo never wanted to see that, and that just made him even more anxious to find the bastard that brought her here and rip out his throat.

He was too far away, she was running out of time. Realizing this, he made a split decision. As the machine powered up, he simply said one word.

"...Bankai."

And just like that, he was behind the executioner in mere seconds, itching to cut HIS head off. But he arrived right when the macine finished powering up, and it went off with a flash, sucking the soul out of the executioner in front of Ichigo.

He was seeing nothing but spots for a second there, but when they were gone, Peyton was sprawled out on the right side of the now-smoking device.

Totally fine. Staring up at him as if he were a giant...cake or something. Oh great, he was thinking about cake at a time like this.

The handcuffs were broken at the chain, and she was kind of...glowing. He guessed it was from all that energy she put out just a few seconds ago.

"...Ichigo...You're...alive?"

_What the hell kind of question is THAT?_ Before he could say that, however, some random douchebag whipped out his katana and attempted to hack at his arm.

"How DARE you interrupt the execution ritual, you...you...orange-headed BASTARD!"

Ichigo jumped back just in time and gripped his now smaller zanpakuto. "You...Are fucking with the WRONG orange-headed bastard!" He growled, going on the offensive.

* * *

The exchange between her and Ichigo happened so fast, Peyton barely had time to blink before he was suddenly being aimed for by the dude who had been watching from the sidelines.

Who the hell was that dude, anyway?

She watched in awe for a minute at how much faster Ichigo was, how much smaller and skinnier Zangetsu was, his new form. She noticed Zangetsu was just plain black now, with a large chain at the end.

_...Wow, that's badass._

Dammit. How did he get that hot in three or so weeks? Now she wouldn't be able to stop staring at him.

_Thanks a lot, you orange-headed bastard._

Peyton was snapped out of her thoughts as she heard the familiar _**shhhink**_ sound of a sword being unsheathed.

She groaned to herself as she turned to face them, only to be whacked in the head. Temple throbbing, she touched her re-opened head wound and glowered at Yuma.

"You...You...You BITCH! Lying about Ichigo being dead, and then you WHACK ME OVER THE HEAD? What next, are ya gonna drown some puppies in a well? What the hell, man!"

"I am not a man, I am a woman. A woman determined to claim vengeance on behalf of her fallen leader, her fallen idol!" Yuma snarled as she lunged for her, swiping her katana outwards.

Peyton just barely managed to dodge it, causing a rip on the end of her kimono. She sighed. "You bitch, you got me in the tightest dress in HISTORY! DAMMIT!"

Peyton then glanced at Ichigo, who had taken his fight up the hill while she had inched downward.

"...I feel obliged to warn you that I'm gonna be extremely distracted, so you might have a fair shot," she informed the damn woman.

Yuma smirked. "I would much rather face you at your full strength. That way when I beat you and join Master Kyabetsu in his victory against your lover, I could say _you_ had a fair shot." She then went all martial arts on her after Peyton knocked the katana out of her hand, then flipped backwards to grab it.

Peyton mocked her karate moves with an idiotic ninja yell before holding out her hand, palm side up, and waving it in a "come on" motion.

"Bring it ON, Crouching Tiger...Hidden...BEYOTCH! KI-YAAA!"

* * *

Ichigo was surprised to find that this guy was actually a bit of a challenge. He had quick reflexes, and seemed to know almost exactly how each move Ichigo was going to make could be countered.

"You seem puzzled, Soul Reaper," he said suddenly while dodging yet another of Ichigo's attacks.

This guy was starting to annoy the crap out of him.

"I didn't think anyone lowly enough to kidnap women would be so good at combat. It's kinda cowardly, if you ask me, having unfair advantages against Peyton like that."

He smirked. "Are you referring to the way I had my assassin hide under her window? 'Tis not my fault the lovestruck foolish human thought it was you."

_Dammit. I called it, KNEW it was somehow my fault._

Ichigo decided not to think about that right now, at least he had made it here in time. A rather devious grin spread onto his face. "Well, thank you sir. You helped me figure out whose throat to rip out. The douchebag who wanted her here."

He gave him a little mock bow. "Master Higura Kabayetsu, newly appointed leader of the Iga Clan, at your service."

Ichigo scowled. "At my service, eh? Well then how about you be sure to scream extra loud in agony when I grind your defeated ass in the dirt."

Kyabetsu chuckled and jumped up, looking like he was about to kick him and successfully fooling Ichigo into protecting his head, leaving his side open for his sword to slice.

_Dammit, I'm such a dumbass sometimes._

"We shall see, Kurosaki-San."

* * *

Peyton glared at Yuma as she made her earn the fifth rip on her kimono, which resulted in the ends pretty much fanning out and down in jagged strips.

"Dammit, I _hate _wearing dresses."

Yuma glanced at Ichigo, who had just been tricked into getting sliced in the side. She cocked an eyebrow with honest curiosity.

"How in the name of Iga did he fall for a crude and unfeminine woman like YOU?"

Peyton shrugged. "I dunno. I guess I'm just too damn good in bed."

The woman rolled her eyes, leaving her open for Peyton to shoot a little ball of spirit energy into her leg.

It was around the time Yuma ran and went back to trying to slice-and-dice her that Peyton got an idea.

She jumped back, using the little backflip trick Senna had taught her, and while tucking out of her last flip she shot another energy ball at Yuma's sword, making it instantly start to heat up.

Yuma tried to hold onto it as long as she could before screaming in pain and letting it drop. However, right as it was about to touch the ground, she grabbed the hilt one more time to throw it like a spear in Peyton's direction.

She dodged it, but it still managed to cut her pretty good on her shoulder. And oh, guess what? ANOTHER rip at the end of her dress.

"...Oh, FUCK'S SAKE!"

* * *

Ichigo was getting more and more tired. He had yet to land a decent blow to this douchebag. He was predicting every single one of Ichigo's movements.

Kabayetsu watched with intrigue as Ichigo panted heavily, trying to keep focused and wipe the blood away from his eyes.

"Why do you continue to fight so much? Losing is inevitable. Does that woman really mean that much to you?"

Ichigo glanced at Peyton as she blocked a couple kicks from that woman, whose sword lay crackling with electricity to the side.

He then looked back at Kabayetsu. "Three weeks. Three weeks and one day I've been absolutely, downright miserable. Why? Because some _douche _by the name of Higura Kyabetsu decided to snatch the girl I love and attempt to suck the spirit right out of her and cut her head off. You bet your ass she means that much to me!" He shouted as he lunged for him.

Kyabetsu moved to block it, and at the very last moment Ichigo used flash-steps to move right, then left, then right, then behind him and land a huge gash across his back.

He groaned in pain, then groaned again as Ichigo landed a kick across his jaw, sending him reeling.

* * *

Peyton glanced in Ichigo's direction to see Kyabetsu on the ground, dust billowing around him. Damn, she always knew Ichigo packed a punch, but...

Her distraction cost her, it led to Yuma landing a kick to her already-hurting-from-starvation stomach.

Peyton stumbled back and rolled to escape the kick directed towards her neck, causing her wrist to get the damage instead.

She winced and cried out; she could've SWORN she heard something snap. Well, either way, she jumped back to her feet and dodged her sword just in time, which had now cooled off enough to where Yuma could grip it.

"I am getting quite bored of this," Yuma informed her.

"Then I suggest you run off while you still can," Peyton said a bit breathlessly as she dodged another flurry of attacks, only managing to land one hit on Yuma's side.

That gave her another idea. She channeled some energy to her foot, driving it into Yuma's hip. She grasped her hip as she fell to the ground.

Peyton had felt something snap underneath her foot, probably one of her ribs. And it had felt so good.

She planted her foot firmly on Yuma's stomach, pressing down on her hip as hard as she could. Yuma screeched as more snaps were heard, and in a last desperate attempt, she gripped her sword and drove it into Peyton's side.

She cried out, feeling like she was going to collapse from pain, but didn't loosen her foot's pressure, moving it to Yuma's neck instead.

"I warned you. You should've...run while you had the chance," she told her, pausing to gasp in a breath at the sudden throbbing, the whole left side of her body being slowly engulfed in white-hot pain.

Yuma's eyes widened as Peyton slowly, deliberately, summoned energy to her foot, crackling around the outline of the shoe and across the woman's neck.

"Any last words?"

Despite her obvious defeat, Yuma spit on Peyton's shoe, making her temple throb. "I hope you rot in hell for killing our Great Leader!"

"Yeah, yeah, I meant _besides _that old chestnut. ...No?" Yuma just glared at her in stony silence before flinching as more spirit energy was mustered, slicing against her neck.

Peyton jumped back as blood started spurting, and Yuma coughed and sputtered, gasping for air. "...O' Great Leader...My Sungaki-Kun...I am coming to you..."

And just like that, her head lolled to the side, her body grew limp, and Yuma was dead. Peyton felt a tiny twinge of guilt, knowing if Ichigo had been killed by someone, she'd do the exact same thing.

But she wasn't going to lose her life because of Yuma's grief and rage. She couldn't help what side she was on, or that it was the opposite one as the Iga Clan.

Wrist swelling and side bleeding, she turned to look up at Ichigo and Kyabetsu to see a beatdown of epic proportions.

* * *

Ichigo was ready to end this. He wanted to go to Peyton. He wanted to get her home. He wanted a lot of things, but right now he was stuck with Kyabetsu.

And Ichigo was getting more and more pissed with how drawn-out their confrotation was by the minute.

No, by the _second_.

Soon, he slipped into a rhythm. Block, attack, dodge, strike, lunge, slice, surprise, repel. Every bit of it laced with impatience and a kind of thirst for payback he'd felt very rarely in his Soul Reaper days.

And he had never wanted it this bad.

The need for Kyabetsu's blood on the ground and screams in his ears grew even more urgent when there was a lull in battle and he happened to look down on Peyton's fight.

Just in time to see a katana driven into her side. THAT'S when he really lost it. He gripped Zangetsu so tight his knuckles turned a deathly white, glowering at Kyabetsu as he struggled to catch his breath a good ten yards away.

"You bastard. I am _sick_..." He flash-stepped over to his side, bringing his foot into his gut.

"Of _her_..." A blow to his back.

"GETTING _HURT_!" Kick to the face, Zangetsu being driven into his arm.

Kyabetsu practically flew, skidding across the hill and struggling to regain an upper-hand. Seeing her blood fly out from around that sword in her side had changed his rhythm to speed, rage, strike, Getsuga Tensho, strike, kill.

Before he could get to the "kill" part, Kyabetsu suddenly kicked him in the abdomen and while he was trying to get back up, raised his katana ominously.

"C'MON ICHIGO! KICK HIS CABBAGE _ASS_!" Peyton suddenly shouted from nearby.

They both turned to look at her, currently jumping up and down enthusiastically despite her blood-stained side and swollen right wrist. She suddenly glared at him. "What're you looking at me for? You're supposed to be kicking his ASS, remember?"

.._.Goddammit, I love that infuriating idiot._

* * *

Peyton felt tears in her eyes as she pulled the damned katana out of her side before running as fast as she could up the hill to their fight.

She could tell, no matter how much of an upper-hand Ichigo had at the moment, he was going on pure rage.

And she had just killed someone whose actions were fed by rage. _He could be kicked flat on his ass any..._

She trailed off with a sweatdrop as Kyabetsu did indeed send him backwards, lying on his back._ ...Any minute._

Suddenly, an idea occurred to her (_Damn, I'm just FULL of ideas today!_), and she started jumping up and down despite her side begging her to stop.

"C'MON ICHIGO! KICK HIS CABBAGE ASS!" She shouted at the top of her lungs. As expected, they both turned to look at her with "WTF?" looks on their faces as she continued her jumping.

She then glared at Ichigo. "What're you looking at me for? You're supposed to be kicking his ASS, remember?"

Peyton saw a grin cross his face for a split second before rolling out from under Kyabetsu's blade and resuming his fight.

She nodded to herself with satisfaction before continuing her idiotic cheering. Ichigo wasn't angry anymore, he was amused.

The emotion she was the master at instilling FINALLY paid off.

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"YEAH! WHOO-HOO! DARK BLACK-AND-RED WAVE THINGIE OF MASS DESTRUCTION FOR THE WIN!" Peyton shouted as he did another one of those...well, the dark black-and-red wave thingies of mass destruction.

Kyabetsu didn't get up this time. Ichigo walked over to him and was about to finish him off point-blank, but Peyton's mischievous laughing was a bit distracting.

He turned to look at her. "...What?"

"Don't kill him. I've got an even better idea..."

She made gesutres with her hands, and a slow and equally-evil grin spread onto his face as well. "...Peyton, you're a genius."

"I know!"

"Wh-What...What're you planning to do to me?" Cabbage Boy asked fearfully.

Ichigo kicked him in the side. "Nothing you need to know about."

Senna suddenly showed up, along with Renji and Rukia. "Toshiro and Matsumoto should be here any minute, Orihime's healing them up."

She then noticed Peyton and ran to glomp her. "OHMIGOD, FINALLY, WE FOUND YOU!" Rukia yanked her back mid-sprint, cocking her head meaningfully at the two.

She, Renji, and Rukia nodded at each other and dragged Kyabetsu off. "We'll just...leave you two...alone...OVER HERE!" They shouted, running off down the hill.

* * *

Ichigo sweatdropped and shook his head at their friends' stupidity before he noticed Peyton's lower lip trembling. He walked over to her worriedly. "You alright?"

She hugged him tightly, surprising him. "That damn Yuma bitch told me you died! I thought I'd never see you again...and I lost the necklace you gave me...and I knew you couldn't die like that, I _knew_ you couldn't! But I was so scared you _had_...I was so guilty, I felt like I wanted to die too!" She sobbed, burying her face in his chest.

Well, as much of his chest as she could reach. Height difference, remember? He hugged her just as tightly, rubbing her back gently. "It's alright, look, I'm here. I'm right here. I'm not dying on you any time soon, okay? I promise."

"Don't make a promise you can't keep, though, okay?" She muttered.

He loosened his grip for a second to reach into his robes and pull out a necklace. One that was gold, with Japanese writing, and a thick brown cord.

She stared at him in awe. "Stranger things have happened, right? I promise I won't die on you," Ichigo said simply as he tied it around her neck.

Peyton nodded and hugged him a little longer, almost as if she expected him to disappear any second.

About the same way he was hugging her right now. It was dead quiet for a minute, except for her shaky breathing, and his _heavy_ breathing, and her handcuff chains clinking together against his back thanks to the wind.

"You know what I can't figure out?" She suddenly asked the air.

"What?"

"How the hell did your hair grow a couple inches or so in three weeks? You almost made me lose, your exponential increase in hotness was distracting me, you moron," she muttered into his chest.

He started laughing and kissed the top of her head, then her lips as she tilted her head up. A gentle kiss, one that wasn't very quick and showed just how much they missed each other. "I missed you blaming me for everything."

"I missed you annoying the hell out of me."

"ICHIGO, WHEN DO WE GET TO TORTURE THIS IGA CLAN LEADER?" Renji bellowed, making them both shout back "SHUT UP, RENJI, DAMMIT!", temples throbbing.

Peyton grinned at him. "We might as well..."

"You're so evil."

"Part of my charm."

He linked his fingers through the ones on her good hand, and she squeezed them for a second.

...And then they went to cut off Cabbage Douche's nuts for making them suffer through lack of sex.


	86. Tension, The Robe, And A Lime

**Me: We're back again!**

**Ichigo: (Currently doing Happy Dance) Peeerrr-vyyy chaaapter, peeerrr-vyyy chaaapter! HELL TO THE YEEEE-ESSS!**

**Rukia: (Sweatdrops) Mandy, do men ever evolve?**

**Me: (Bursts into laughter) BAHAHAHAHAHA! How cute! You think they EVOLVE? Rukia, dear, if anything, they fall FURTHER down the Evolved Scale.**

**Ichigo: She's absolutely right.**

**Rukia: (Scowls) Pervert.**

**Ichigo: BUT I'M A HAPPY ONE!**

**Me: So I can see.**

**Ichigo: (Throws gauntlet) SHUT UP, PERV!**

**Me: OW, DAMMIT!**

**Rukia: (Sweardrops, eye twitch)**

**Me: (Pauses battle) OH! Almost forgot the cakes! KOOOON!**

**Kon: HEEERE, MASTER MANDY! (Wheels out Cake from Josie-chan, which is a cake with Peyton and Ichigo laughing their asses off while Cabbage Boy is on the floor screaming "AH MY NUTS!")**

**Ichigo: Ahhhh, that was so damn satisfying.**

**Rukia: Freak.**

**Me: Rukia, the look on your face was one of PURE AMUSEMENT AND SATISFACTION!**

**Rukia: YOU CAN'T PROVE THAT!**

**Me and Ichigo: (Sweardrops)...**

**Me: OH! And for those who squirm under graphic-ness (like me, guilty as charged, no matter how much of a perv i am), i'll warn you when it might get graphic for ya. ALSO, I'd like to wish Dude a happy belated birthday. Glad i helped make it so AWESOMESAUCE! ...I hope it rained down booze and money where YOU are, 'cause it sure as hell didn't here... (Goes to the corner to sulk)**

**Rukia: ENJOY!**

**Ichigo: You already said that, moron.**

**Rukia: (Kicks him in the shin) I DON'T CARE! **

* * *

"Itsygo?"

"Huh?"

"When'll it be Nel's turn to hitch a wide on Itsygo's back?" She asked from her perch on Matsumoto's head.

He glanced at Peyton, on his back and fast asleep. "In a little while. I'd kinda like to give Peyton a ride for a bit."

Nel huffed and pouted. "Fiiine...But ONLY BECAUSE Nel tinks Itsygo's girlfwiend earned it."

He and Rukia sweatdropped as she scrambled off Matsumoto's head as she went the opposite way, towards Orihime's house.

"WAIT FOR NEEEELLLLL!" She screeched, sobbing as if the world were ending, making Peyton jump awake with a hiss as she moved her wrist the wrong way.

Ichigo's temple throbbed as Nel hitched onto his leg happily. "...Way to go, dumbass."

"Tank you, Itsygo!"

Rukia sighed and shook her head, and Peyton laughed to herself before laying her head back down against his shoulder tiredly.

"You want me to take ya home?"

"Mmm...No...Not yet. I think I'll just chill at your house." In his head, he was already hearing _Bown-chika-chika-BOWN-wow-wow _playing over and over, but Rukia ruined THAT thought real quick as they entered his house.

Isshin and Yuzu immediately hugged Peyton as she clambered off his back, and while they were busy with their tearful and slightly-ridiculous-as-always reunion, Rukia dragged him towards her by his shirt.

"Ichigo Kurosaki, Peyton needs all the rest she can get after her ordeal and using all that spirit energy earlier today. If she comes down for breakfast tomorrow with ANY sort of afterglow, if I hear the SLIGHTEST noise of pleasure coming from your room, I WILL make you as anatomically impaired as a Ken Doll!"

He gulped and nodded quickly, laughing nervously. "I-I-I...I wouldn't dare do THAT when she's so exhausted, Rukia! Damn!"

...Of course, in his head he was pitching a _mega _bitch fit.

Especially after Peyton NOT ONLY smiled at him and kissed him all expert-like as usual, but decided to not even bother taking off her kimono and just plain climbed into his bed.

Which meant, due to those damn rips, he saw a flash of her underwear and EVERYTHING. And damn, the Iga Clan sure provided some nice underwear.

"...God...DAMMIT!"

She sweatdropped. "...Uhhh...You alright?"

Ichigo laughed nervously, still sulking in his mind as he clambered into bed after her. "Yeah, fine. Sorry. Tired."

"That's what sleeping's for," she muttered groggily before yawning and turning away from him, not bothering to use the sheets just yet and therefore allowing him to see her bare thigh due to the DAMN RIPS.

...Damn Yuma. Making Peyton tempt him like that. Good thing she was dead, or he would've pushed her in front of a speeding bus.

...A Greyhound. The big heavy ones. With lots of steel. And passengers. _Fat _passengers. Fat passengers ALONG with Oprah.

...Yeah, that sounded about right.

_**

* * *

**_

_**THE ****NEXT DAY...**_

The first thing Peyton thought when she woke up was, _Well THAT sucked._

Not only did she get no action _whatsoever_ last night, but Ichigo didn't even TOUCH HER at all. Not even his usual hand-around-her-waist thing!

Dammit. It was because of her head injury, wasn't it. She was sure there was still dried blood on it.

Or maybe her wrist? Orihime had managed to heal the bone, but it was still a bit sore, about like a sprain.

She had a bandage wrapped around it now, only for a few days or so.

Peyton sighed in disappointment, and heard movement behind her. "You alright?"

She huffed and crossed her arms. "Yeeeaaahhh..."

"Very convincing, way to go, Peyton."

"I got...cold...last night..."

That apparently just went RIGHT over his head, because he yawned and replied, "Well, that's what sheets are for."

Peyton huffed again and attempted to go back to sleep. "Nevermind, just forget it!"

"...Are you still PMS-ing?"

"NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO DO WITH PMS!" She shouted with a temple throb, huffing and hogging all his sheets as punishment.

She heard him mutter moodily, "Well THIS sucks." He could've EASILY made their situation ten times better.

But NOOOO.

Instead, she was forced to lay there for another eight minutes before Yuzu suddenly flung the door open and informed her there was a feast waiting downstairs.

She then proceeded to pig out for a good two hours, and probably gained more pounds than she lost while kidnapped.

_**

* * *

**_

_**HOURS ****LATER...**_

Peyton knew she was doing her habit again, tapping her finger and looking around the room impatiently, but how could she focus on a movie at a time like this?

When Ichigo was _right_ next to her, and she was still in her ripped kimono, meaning it was bare skin against bare skin in some places.

And she was expected to focus on the _movie_. When she had suffered through lack of physical contact for _so_ _long_?

HELL no.

She was only human, after all.

She glanced at Rukia and Renji, who were nearly on top of each other without even realizing it.

Guess what SHE thought of.

And matters were only made worse when it got to that scene on Scary Movie where everyone's making out in the car but Cindy and Bobby.

...Guess who SHE felt like.

Yeah.

She kept glancing at Ichigo with slightly-meaningful looks on her face, but he was either ignoring her or extremely interested in the movie.

Was _this_ how they were supposed to act after the epic and heroic rescue mission? What about in all those movies, where they got Hot Hot Rescue Sex?

_Dammit, if only Hollywood weren't full of glitter and lies._

Peyton sighed again and suffered through the rest of the movie, and of course, OF COURSE, Renji and Rukia left to investigate Renji's "serious roach problem".

And Isshin and the kids were fast asleep. They had all caught colds (that's right, they were all over Peyton last night, which SHOULD have been ICHIGO'S job, while they were SICK), so they were also all knocked out on Tylenol.

Which meant they were totally...completely...alone.

Except for Nel, who was busy coloring and watching The Hills Have Eyes anyways. Pretty much the only one doing so; Peyton could feel the sexual tension between her and Ichigo.

Right as she leaned towards him and was about to just flat-out whisper in his ear what they should be doing right now, he suddenly stood up and went upstairs.

Which made her fall face-first into the couch cushion. "I'll be right back, I left something...in my...room..." He said oh-so-smoothly.

Peyton huffed and stomped upstairs after him, going into the bathroom and starting the water for a bath.

She didn't feel like standing in a shower at the moment. That way, in a bath, she could pay extra attention to her shaving.

Peyton never thought she'd actually make this decision, but here it was. She was gonna have to SEDUCE Ichigo.

...Dammit.

* * *

Ichigo barely made it out of there alive. During the whole movie, all that flashed through his mind was "sexsexsexsexsexSEXsexsexsex".

And it didn't help that she was obviously liking sitting RIGHT THERE, RIGHT next to him, with her BARE SKIN.

Dammit. Why was she so effing hot?

He sighed in relief as he shut the door to his room, actually _fanning_ himself as he heard bathwater start to run. And of COURSE she happened to walk in there all innocent-like.

She sweatdropped, looking pointedly at him as he suddenly jumped and ran around the room as if looking for something.

"...I'm not even gonna ask. But I DO have something ELSE to ask."

He eyed her warily. "What?"

Peyton turned around, moving aside her amazingly still intact braid to reveal her bare neck. "Could you unbutton this for me? Stupid buttons, they're in the back so I can't even frigging reach them..."

Ichigo gulped. Was she PURPOSELY trying to get him hot? But like hell he could say no, he JUST rescued her, he would look like an ass if he did that. "U-Uhhh...Sure..."

He took a couple deep breaths before fumbling with the first button. After the first three, it wasn't so hard to undo them.

No, what was hard was when each time he moved down to the next one, his fingers ran along her bare skin, which made her shiver.

He could feel it. He could also feel how soft her skin was, thanks to the...DAMN...NINJAS.

The buttons ended a little bit above her hips, and the whole thing almost slid off, but she caught it lazily.

She smiled at him, and this time he shivered at the tone she used. "Thanks. This thing's so dang tight..."

_Trust me, I can see that. Unfortunately, I can see that. I can also picture everything it's outlining, too, goddammit Peyton!_

But Rukia had threatened his manliness if he touched her in any sexual way. Apparently Rukia decided she needed three days worth of rest, as if SHE were the expert on medical matters.

When he tried to point this out, she just held up some surgical scissors from Dad's office and waved them around carelessly, so he really didn't have a choice in the matter.

Just like that, Peyton strolled right out, and he watched her leave. She lazily undid her braid as she went, running her hands through her now-unbelievably-wavy-and-sexy hair.

Damn, did she know how to leave a room.

He gulped again as he soon heard her sigh of pleasure as she slipped into her bath, picturing her sighing like that while doing something TOTALLY different. "...God...effing...DAMMIT, Peyton!" He muttered before sliding into bed, hoping that if he fell asleep before her, resisting temptation would be much easier.

* * *

Peyton laid back in the tub after finishing her near-hour-long shaving session in which she double and triple checked every square inch of her legs and such to make sure she got everything.

Eyes closed, she wondered how the hell she was gonna get herself some action tonight. It was then she hatched her diabolical plan.

It was time to pull out...The Robe.

After a few more minutes of soaking and such, she dried off and opened one of the cabinets, pulling everything out so she could get to the back. Against which was lying Matsumoto's provocative robe she had left the last time she bathed in the Kurosaki house.

Yuzu had asked Peyton to give it back to her, but she figured she'd keep it here, in case of emergencies.

And this...DEFINITELY counted as an emergency.

She slipped it on, lotioned her already-soft skin, ran her fingers through her hair anxiously, and crept into the hallway. The whole house was quiet.

Peyton inched downstairs, and Nel was nearly asleep standing up, trying to pin her artwork to the fridge.

"Usually Pops does this for me," Nel informed her without turning around. Isshin insisted he call her that, since she was "Ichigo and Peyton's practice lovechild". The very thought made Peyton grin and shake her head.

She walked over and pinned it up with a sushi magnet, and Nel beamed. "Tanks, Itsygo's-...Whoa, BABY! Itsygo's girlfwiend looks like a...a...total BABE!" Nel exclaimed giddily.

Peyton covered Nel's mouth, trying not to grin with pride. "Shhh, everyone's asleep! Nel, listen. Would you mind if I locked Ichigo's door? And I'll do _whatever_ you want if you sleep down here and turn the volume up on the tv a little. Okay?"

Nel eyed her suspiciously. "...You mean...You'll play all the Eternal Tag I want?"

"Of course!"

"And could you get Itsygo to play, too?"

"I'm sure I can."

Nel beamed and hugged her around the waist before bouncing into the den to turn the tv up, at a volume much to Peyton's satisfaction. "Yay! Nel's so glad Itsygo's girlfwiend is so nice!"

She just smiled and waved goodnight before going upstairs.

* * *

When she opened the door to Ichigo's room, she nearly facepalmed herself.

He was fast asleep, the bastard. Then she realized he was laying on his back, giving her an idea, and grinned evilly. _Now he won't be able to resist..._She thought smugly as she stealthily slid to sit on top of him.

"Ichigo. Hey. Hey Ichigo. ICHIGO, GODDAMMIT!" She finally shouted, making him jump awake with a snore.

"Huh, what? ...Oh _god_, gimme strength," he muttered as his eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. Peyton glared at him, sliding against him so her face was inches away from his.

"Ichigo Kurosaki, I want action, and I want it NOW. I don't care WHO might hear us, or WHO walks in, or WHAT you say, I want it, and I want it now now NOW!" She growled, kissing him.

He pulled away spastically. "B-But you don't understand, Rukia's gonna-"

"Rukia's not here, now shut the hell up!" She nearly shouted as she kissed him some more. This time he returned the kisses and his hand moved to her hair before he pulled away again.

"Make up your mind, Ichigo," she muttered.

Ichigo groaned. "Aw...DAMMIT, why do you insist on torturing me, you damn sexy woman? Rukia's gonna kill me.."

"What she doesn't know won't hurt you," she insisted, kissing him again and tugging playfully on the slightly-longer-yet-amazingly-hotter ends of his hair.

"Oh...God...DAMMIT..." he muttered between kisses before finally giving in, slowly sitting up without breaking the kisses.

* * *

**Me: Those who squirm with graphic-ness...be warned...here there be sexyness.**

**Kon: (Trying to open Ichigo's door) YESYESYESYESYES-**

**Me: (Drags him downstairs) DOWN BOY!**

* * *

Ichigo's hand moved to the small of her back, the other still in her hair and running down her neck, while one of hers drifted to the side of his jaw, the other sliding under his shirt.

He soon started tugging on the tie of her robe, loosening it and eventually sliding it so it slid down her shoulders, almost completely off.

She couldn't help but moan a little as his kisses moved down her neck, her collarbone, her chest, lingering there.

She had a death grip on his shirt, bunching it up, and she was pretty sure her back was arched.

At this point, she couldn't even tell which way was left or right.

Peyton got his shirt off around the same time he managed to have her on her back underneath him, his fingers gliding along the entire length of her side and almost everything along the way, making her shiver.

The middle of her stomach felt weak and quivery, and her toes were tingling more and more the further his hands went.

"Nnnnhh...And you tried...mmm...to get out of doing this..." She breathed with a sort of half-laugh. "Only because I wanted to survive, Rukia'd kill me right now if she knew what we were doing..."

Peyton giggled as his hands stayed on her hips, making her wriggle a little underneath him. "If she knew what we were doing, I think she'd...keel over...with a nosebleed."

He laughed too as he slid down her underwear, making her moan again. "...Yeah, that too," he said a little breathlessly as she rubbed her leg against his. She was shivering with anticipation as he kissed her thigh, her knee.

She tugged at his boxers, moaning some more as he spread her legs, her toes already prepared to start curling and going numb.

"Oh GOD yes," A voice suddenly said, making their temples throb. "KON, GET OUT, GODDAMMIT!" They shouted.

They heard his tiny legs stomping off, and Ichigo's door open and shut. "FINE! You...damn...ASSES!"

They laughed in disbelief, her arms around his neck. He looked down at her, grinning. "Did I mention how much I missed you?"

Peyton laughed again and pulled his head down to her neck again. "Just shut up and keep going, you damn sexy kiss-ass."


	87. Nel's New Game And Asses

****

Me: (Wiping up several spots in which Volcanic Nosebleeds occured thanks to the last chapp) ...We're back.

**Ichigo: (Holding Kleenex against nose) Yeah...DAMMIT, Mandy that was ALMOST as hot in writing as it was in person.**

**Kon: (Re-reading last chapp for the 69th time) Too bad you didn't pick up where they left off.**

**Me: (Temple throb) Gotta leave ya hanging, Kon, you pervert.**

**Rukia: (Drop-kicks him into wall) THANKS FOR RUINING IT FOR THE REST OF US PERVERTS!**

**Kon: RUKIAAAA, I'M SO-O-O-RRRYYYYY!**

**Ichigo: ...Well, I'll be damned. Rukia, i didn't know you liked it so much...**

**Rukia: (Waves off notion) PLEASE, you should've seen me after that YAOI I read about you!**

**Ichigo and Me: (Run to bathroom to barf) EWWWW! NOW ALL I CAN PICTURE IS PEYTON AS A DUDE WITH A MANLY VOICE!**

**Me: You too, Ichigo?**

**Ichigo: She IS my girlfried, dipshit!**

**Me: Yeah, but...Ew...Kinda curious though, who was he doing the deed with?**

**Rukia: Oddly enough, Renji. And cheating with Byakuya.**

**Me and Ichigo: THAT'S IT! (Retch into trash cans) ...FUCK! OH, GODDAMMIT!**

**Rukia: (Laughs nervously) Uhhh...ENJOY! And Mandy'd like to thank Ishihackaloogie (aka Erin) for NOT ONLY updating her story today, but for endorsing MANDY'S story in there as well! Much appreciated! And also, we LOVE the fic about you guys's perverted dialogues! And...uh...ENJOY! AGAIN!**

* * *

The next morning found them laying on the wrong side of his bed, hair sticking out every possible way, clothes askew.

And Peyton didn't know about Ichigo, but she had never been happier about being insanely sore in her entire life.

Again, she somehow woke up before he did, but she guessed he was just exhausted after last night. So she just shrugged, kissed his neck gently, and tried to go back to sleep while finally finding her robe and pulling it up from where it had been pooled at her ankles.

So of course, WHO should show up but Rukia, pounding on the door. They had locked it after Kon decided to pay his little visit last night, and now they both groaned as they realized what a mistake THAT had been.

"ICHIGOOO, OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR! IF YOU'VE TOUCHED _ONE_ HAIR ON HER HEAD, I SWEAR, I'M GONNA-"

"RUKIA, SHUT UP, HE'S ASLEEP!" Peyton shouted, making the knocks finally stop. Ichigo gave her a groggy thumbs-up before burying his face against the mattress, already falling back asleep.

Peyton sweatdropped and decided not to make the Soul Reaper wait much longer, and while trying to remember when Ichigo found his clothes last night, went to open the door.

Rukia stood there in her favorite Chappy shirt, tapping her foot anxiously. Peyton nearly facepalmed herself. Jeez, she couldn't even remember what people had been WEARING last night?

She really HAD had a good time...

"Uhhh...Hi."

Rukia marched right in, glared at the back of Ichigo's head, and stomped over to her closet. "Locking me out...the hell's goin' on in that head of his..?"

Peyton shuddered at the thought. "Some questions are better left unanswered, Rukia."

She made a face as Ichigo rolled over, a huge grin on his face. SOMEONE was having a good dream. "...Point taken."

And with that, she slid her closet door shut, and Peyton laid back down in her spot. She couldn't believe Rukia hadn't said anything about them sleeping on the wrong end.

Hey, when you drop, you drop. Right?

She sweatdropped as Ichigo turned over again, almost turning right on top of her, then slinked his arm across her stomach.

"...The human mind is a truly puzzling thing," she muttered as he suddenly said dreamily, "Poooop-Taaarts..."

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Everyone was wearing their usual breakfast expressions; Isshin and Yuzu looked delighted, Karin looked bored, Rukia was playing up her Innocent Schoolgirl act, and...well, as for Peyton and Ichigo, they looked just plain tired.

Like they had just rolled out of bed. Which was true, since she and Rukia did in fact have to roll Ichigo onto the floor to wake him up.

So he was also pissy. Nel making his hair look like a duck's butt wasn't helping. "I found HER passed out on top of the heater this morning," Yuzu said, pointing at Nel.

Nel shrugged. "Itsygo's girlfwiend let Nel sleep downstairs. In fact, Itsygo's girlfwiend ASKED Nel to sleep downstairs. Nel tinks Itsygo and his girlfwiend were pwaying a game, a weally active game."

Peyton's eyes darted down to her plate as she held her head up with one hand and a sigh. Ichigo nudged her foot as if to say "NICE one, moron".

Rukia's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What KIND of...'game', Nel?"

Nel squinted in thought. "Nel doesn't know! But Nel tinks it _must've _been fun, because they giggled a lot. Oh, and whatever it was, they're good at it, cuz Nel heard them saying "YES!" a lot, too. Maybe it was some weird Mawco Polo game, because they kept saying each other's names...They must've won a lot, it dwagged on for a LOOONG time..." She stared off into space thoughtfully.

Isshin looked like he was going to bear a litter of kittens any moment now. Rukia was glowering at them across the table.

Yuzu and Karin's forks had both dropped, jaws on the table, muttering incoherently. As for the partners in crime, they didn't look the least bit guilty.

Ichigo looked indifferent (though he was kicking the crap out of Peyton under the table), and Peyton was chugging her juice to keep from laughing hysterically (while kicking the crap out of HIM under the table).

"...Well, she's right, it WAS a fun game. All three times," he said simply. They then heard a resounding _**THUD**_ under the table, Peyton's juice flew everywhere as she erupted into laughter at his statement, and Ichigo jumped about a foot.

"OW, RUKIAAA!"

"I TOLD YOU NO MESSING AROUND, ICHIGO, DAMMIT!"

"SHE SEDUCED ME!"

They all looked at Peyton, who blinked innocently, somehow managing to stop laughing. "Who, ME?"

Rukia resumed shouting at Ichigo, while Nel looked at Peyton eagerly. "Nel decides she wants Itsygo's girlfwiend to teach her this game!"

A third fork dropped to its plate as Isshin started laughing his ass off.

* * *

After breakfast (and having to make up an entirely different "game" from scratch and playing it with Nel and Peyton for three hours), Ichigo gave her a ride to her house.

"How can you still tolerate carrying me around?" Peyton asked curiously. "I mean, you've been carrying me, Nel, your fleas..."

Ichigo jostled her, making her giggle. "Don't make me drop you."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Oh really?"

"Nope, 'cause then you'd get no EFFING HOT HOT SEX."

He smirked. "Yeah, well, all I'd have to do is ignore you for a while, and maybe you'll seduce me again."

Peyton snorted a laugh. "I think Nanaw'll seduce you before _I_ do it again!"

He shuddered at the thought. "Don't remind me. I only have _weeks _of freedom left before I get dragged into her...her..her room with the four-poster bed...and the DEATH TRAPS, COUGAR TRAPS, I SAY!"

"Ichigo, summer break is at least a month away, and I promise my great-grandmother isn't lethal."

"Exactly. WEEKS! And YOU PROMISE? She's the PURE DEFINITION of the ultimate cougar, and you know it!"

She rolled her eyes and messed up his hair, making him sweatdrop. "You honestly think my hair could look any worse?"

"Yeah. It could look like Renji's."

THAT got him laughing.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Almost as soon as Peyton bent over Ichigo's head all expert-like to knock on her door, it was flung open by Seth.

"Peyton?" He looked around spastically before finally noticing her, turning Ichigo around so he could bombard her with the full force of his hug. "IT _IS _YOU! PEYTON'S BACK!"

They heard lots of thuds and clatters as items were dropped, and tons of running. "PEYTON!"

"MY KID!"

"MY SISTER!"

"MY STEPDAUGHTER!"

"...DID YOU BRING MY HUNK MUFFIN?" Nanaw squealed as she shuffled out after them. Peyton wriggled her hand out of the Epic Four-Person Bear Hug she was currently being a victim of to wave Nanaw off.

"U-Uhhh, he's somewhere in here!"

"I, who is not Ichigo Kurosaki NOR anyone's Hunk Muffin, have no idea what Peyton's-"

"HUNK MUFFIN, HE'S RETURNED, HE'S COME BACK!" Nanaw shrieked, following his voice and joining the hugging session.

"DAMMIT, PEYTON!"

"Keep in mind that I love you," she said innocently while thoroughly enjoying getting to hug her family again. "Oh dear GOD, your HAIR! It's so...so...SEXXXYYY! PEYTON, LEARN TO SHARE!"

"Peyton, HELP ME!"

"Sorry Ichigoooo, occupied!" she shouted above everyone else. Peyton felt a very deliberate smack on the ass, making her giggle. She knew THAT hand anywhere.

When they finally pulled away to let her breathe, she and Ichigo were the last to walk in. They both shuddered as they noticed Nanaw swaying her hips and humming some jazz song from the '40s.

"...She squeezed my ass, Peyton. She squeezed...my ASS."

"So? You just smacked mine, you pervert!"

"Perhaps you're not understanding. SHE SMACKED MY ASS!" Ichigo wailed.

Peyton couldn't help but laugh uncontrollably, and he huffed like a scolded toddler. "It's not funny!"

"It SO is!"

"You say that NOW, but you wait, one day you'll be downright scarred for LIFE when you see the way she looks at me when you're not looking!"

She rolled her eyes and stood on her tip-toes to kiss his cheek. "Deal with it." He was about to reply, but Lindsay bounced over and grabbed her wrist, dragging her into the house.

"COME LOOK, COME LOOK, WE'VE MADE DECISIONS ABOUT THE WEDDING! _FINAL_ DECISIONS!"

"OwowowowowOWWW, MY WRIST, GODDAMMIT LINDS!"

Ichigo grinned and shook his head as Peyton pretended to absorb every quick and spastic word Lindsay said.

She still had that "afterglow" thing Rukia had been talking about, and it made her look even more beautiful than usual.

And people wondered why guys like sex so much; they get to see their girls all happy like _she _was right now, and know that THEY did something to make them that way.

...Plus, sex itself is AWESOMESAUCE IN A BOX.

_**

* * *

**_

_**EIGHTEEN MINUTES LATER...**_

"Sooo, we REALIZED that the only color every bridesmaid looked good in was BLACK! And wearing black to a wedding would be totally ironic and bad-luck-ish, right?"

"Uh-huh."

"So we DECIDED-"

"Since we honestly don't care what the bridesmaids are wearing," Miya added.

"DECIDED that the bridesmaids could just wear whatever the hell kind of dress they want!" Lindsay concluded, rolling up her blueprints with satisfaction and tossing her pencil behind her, nearly poking Ichigo's eye out.

"Soo...does that mean...I CAN WEAR MY CONVERSE? Wait, no...HOUSE SHOES? MY MONKEY ONES?" Peyton said excitedly.

Everyone sweatdropped. "...NO."

Peyton snapped her fingers. "Drats. I love those slippers. Admit, I can wear them like NO ONE'S BUSINESS, right?"

Lindsay rolled her eyes. "However you can wear them, they're not what you wear to a damn WEDDING, ya igmo!"

"Igmo? The hell's an igmo?" Renji asked, having shown up to find Ichigo.

"Ignoramous, an ignorant turd," All the Cullens and Ichigo replied in unison. Renji sweatdropped, and Seth clapped Ichigo on the back.

"Well, lookee here, Kurosaki's already one of us!"

"Damn rednecks, can never get rid of 'em," Mark muttered, making everyone sweatdrop since he was drinking out of a Larry the Cable Guy mug with a Confederate flag as a backdrop.

Miya opened her mouth to say something, but seemed to think better of it and just shook her head before kissing her fiancee. "Nothing wrong with rednecks, hon."

* * *

Seth and Peyton exchanged a Finger-Down-The-Throat Gagging Gesture, while Lindsay smacked them both upside the head. "Chill out, they're getting MARRIED in three days!"

Peyton's jaw dropped. "THREE DAYS? WHEN'D WE DECIDE THAT?"

Lindsay's temple throbbed. "The only thing you got out of ALLLL my explaining was the part about choosing your own clothes, wasn't it?"

She ate her Pop-Tart innocently, batting her eyelashes at her older sister. "...I wouldn't say THAAAT..."

Linds facepalmed before smiling and ruffling Peyton's hair. "I missed your selective hearing, kid."

"HEY! …I missed you feeling false superiority."

"And _I _missed my favorite show, goddammit!" Seth wailed as they heard the credits rolling for Viva la Bam.

Dad and Miya sweatdropped. "...Sibling love."


	88. Early Arrival, Pencils, And Hormones

**Me: We're back! And, uh...sorry you guys but after all the stuff i put up with today, school and otherwise, i've got almost no energy left to keep my eyes open, so bear with me with this author's note. If i don't mention a cake you submitted since the last chapp or something, know right now that we're totally enjoying it-**

**Ichigo: If not keeping it in our safe-**

**Me: SHUT UP! ...We're totally enjoying it and apologize, i'll catch you next chapp update!**

**Ichigo: (Whispers to Rukia) ...Is she PMS-ing?**

**Me: Nope.**

**Ichigo: (Sigh of relief)**

**Me: BUT, i'm about to, i cant just tell, i'm already feeling it.**

**Ichigo and Rukia: (Wailing) AWWWW, DAMMIT! **

**Me: (Eye-twitch) ...ENJOY.**

**Rukia: (Looks at audience) I'm not even DARING to point out that's my line.**

**Ichigo: (Sweatdrops as I eat a cake like a starved person) ...Good call, Rukia, good call.**

* * *

The next day, Peyton was NOT a force to be reckoned with. And everyone within a five-mile radius almost instantly knew it once she drew near.

Miya sighed heavily as her youngest futu- ...oh, screw it, her youngest _stepdaughter_, ate her dry cereal savagely.

Almost as if she were imagining she was eating the human beings that annoyed her the most as of today.

Whoever Peyton had decided those people were, Miya sure felt sorry for them. "There is no worse situation...in this _world_...than a young woman receiving her period early, two days before a wedding," she commented.

Lindsay nodded quickly, sighing sympathetically for her little sister. The aforementioned sister just glared up at them briefly before returning to her pillaging of the ceral bowl, gulping down her glass of milk.

Damn, Miya had to give her credit, even the way she _drank her milk _was downright terrifying today.

Her husband-to-be continued reading the paper innocently, but she could tell he was biting the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling as Seth commented, "I feel sorry for your boyfriend, P. He's gonna wish he was never born."

"You can say _that _again," she muttered dangerously, continuing to eat her cereal. This was the quietest she'd ever been at breakfast, and it was...well..._terrifying_. That adjective was being used a lot today, and really, the day had barely even started.

Though she finished first, Peyton was the last to grab her bag and stomp out the door. Mark and Miya watched from the window as Ichigo and Rukia showed up.

Miya sweatdropped as she watched her fiance, who was bouncing in his seat like a little kid, obviously hoping his daughter would give Ichigo major bruises.

But oddly enough, not only was he able to make her smile, but he SOMEHOW, don't ask Miya how the hell he managed it...but he SOMEHOW convinced her to let him carry her.

And everyone knew that Peyton was never very...what's the word...FOND of Ichigo even TOUCHING her when she was on her period.

Who knows why.

Mark and Nanaw both sighed with disappointment as the two lovers took off. Well, Mark simply knew they were dating, not having sex.

Miya shivered at the thought of him realizing those sounds he heard last night were DEFINITELY NOT Peyton stubbing her toe and Ichigo giving her medical attention.

...How the hell he actually BOUGHT Miya's lie of "Oh, he must be encouraging her, THAT'S why he's saying 'yes' and 'oh Peyton', hon!" was beyond her.

Not that she was complaining. She hoped he never brought out Old Winona ever again on that kid, she happened to _like_ him dating her stepdaughter while having his vital organs still intact and not having a bullet lodged through the middle.

"...She's never gonna dump that kid, is she?"

"No, hon."

"...He's never gonna dump her, is he?"

"Highly doubt he will."

"Dammit, I was afraid of that."

Miya sighed and rolled her eyes. "Mark, can't you see? If those two fell any further for each other, they'd be halfway to China- ...wait, AMERICA, right now. They're not calling it quits any time soon, and you'll just have to deal with it."

Nanaw sighed heavily again, peering out the window. "Dammit, we know, Miya. Do you know how rough it is that DESPITE my designated Thirty Minutes In Heaven I'm gonna get this summer, he won't love me like he loves my great-grandchild?"

Mark and Miya shuddered at the mental images that produced. "...Grandmomma, I don't wanna have to watch YOU go to jail for statutory rape, Cameron was enough."

Instead of huffing or pouting, Nanaw nearly squealed. "You mean...Mark, you think it'll be...CONSENTUAL? HELL YES!"

Miya's temple throbbed. "Look what you've done NOW, dumbass."

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

Don't ask Ichigo how the hell he managed to make Peyton not want to kill him...AND let him give her a ride on his back...but he sure was suffering for it now.

Her whole aura just SCREAMED at him "Do Not Touch, Mother Nature's Being A Bitch And We All Have To Suffer".

Which meant he could feel her RIGHT there, she was RIGHT THERE...and could he touch her without losing a limb?

Hells no.

So it was just like the other night, when Rukia threatened his manly wellbeing, only he knew Peyton wasn't going to be doing any seducing any time soon.

Things only got worse when she laid her head against him, her hair and top of her head against his jaw.

Which made the thought flash into his head of the LAST TIME her head had been in a position like that against him, and it most certainly wasn't when she was on his back.

In fact, she had been on HER back.

_No, STOP, you're just gonna embarrass yourself,_ he thought grudgingly as he started feeling hot all over.

* * *

Things got even WORSE when they got to homeroom and it was time for the finals.

Meaning they stayed in homeroom for at least two hours.

Which meant she was pretty much all he could look at, due to Shinji sensing her Period Rage and moving as far back as he could after making the near-fatal mistake of trying to hug her and welcome her back.

They had explained to her before she got to school that to everyone else, it's as if she never left, thanks to Rukia.

Shinji and the other Soul Reapers (plus Chad, Orihime, Tatsuki, Ishihackaloogie, whatever) were the only ones who remembered her absence the past few weeks.

So now he was stuck staring down at a test that was painfully easy, TRYING...man was he trying...not to look at her.

She was RIGHT THERE, too. So close he could feel her reiatsu even when she was relatively calm (thought that was rare today due to her early...Gift).

Ichigo tried to take as much time as possible, but he nearly facedesked when he looked up at the clock after finishing and saw he had at least forty minutes left of sitting at his desk doing absolutely nothing.

...EXCEPT looking at anything and everything but Peyton.

Which lasted for a whole of three minutes; that's actually a new record for him.

He finally decided just ONE glance in her direction wouldn't hurt, but he almost instantly regretted it.

Peyton had her legs crossed, the leg on the ground bouncing impatiently as she checked her answers for the millionth time out of total complete boredom.

Her leg-bouncing made her skirt hitch up even more than the legs being crossed in the first place had!

Which...to any other person in Ms. Ochi's room, wouldn't be that much. Nothing compared to where Matsumoto's skirt was at most of the day.

But to him...he who had watched her slide off that skirt for him before, had practicall ripped OFF skirts like that on her before...he who could take one glance at her legs and slowly work his way up, knowing her whole body like the back of his hand.

...It was a lot better and more interesting to look at than the back of his hand, obviously, but still.

To him, it was a _major _deal.

Especially when he had been deprived of seeing all that for almost a month, after almost unlimited viewing of it all for a while, and now her...effing...PERIOD prevented him from seeing it all some more!

Ichigo tried to avert his gaze, he really did, but he could probably sooner walk on water than he could look in another direction.

Literally EVERYTHING was visible to him, almost as if he had x-ray vision; her thighs, her hips, her waist, her curves, her chest...everything.

Now he knew why x-ray was usually only in the form of glasses. That way the user could turn it off in times like these and not thank GOD he had a baggy sweatshirt handy that he could put in his lap for a while.

* * *

Peyton bounced her leg anxiously, trying to do anything but look at Ichigo. She hated this. She hated Mother Nature SOOO much right now, it wasn't even funny.

At all.

And she should KNOW what was and wasn't funny, she had the best sense of humor on the PLANET, dammit!

This was as far from funny as one could get. She had to look at anything but Ichigo at all costs. If she looked at him...she'd lose it.

Because just looking at him had effects on her that were mysterious, exciting, totally logical, and all-around infuriating, all at once.

Because one innocent look, no, a GLANCE in his direction, and her eyes would be roaming all over him in mere seconds.

And picturing every little detail. And oh, if he was looking in her direction, just FORGET IT. Then she'd REALLY lose it.

That eye contact might as well read "I want you in my pants RIGHT NOW, DAMMIT!". And then if he smiled, smirked, ANYTHING, she was doomed. Hell, Peyton might tackle him out of his desk right then and there if he did that.

...Yep, it was official. Her hormones were so out of whack right now it was lethal.

She nearly groaned out loud once she realized the pressure she was feeling in the pit of her stomach and a little further south was partially because he WAS in fact looking at her.

Well, not at her, but all OVER her.

Dammit, why did their perverted minds have to be so in-sync? This SUCKED. "Thanks a heap, Mother Nature," she muttered as quietly as possible.

Peyton felt stiff and had no choice but to stretch towards the sky, sighing involuntarily, and that's when the room was filled with a deafeningly loud _**SNAP **_amidst the dead silence.

* * *

Ichigo could see her squirming. Guess he wasn't the only one suffering from all this.

He knew he should look away, he knew it, but he still just couldn't tear his eyes away from her. Which turned out to be a very bad thing.

She suddenly dropped her pencil with finality and clasped her hands together, making his face pale.

_She's not doing what I THINK she's doing, is she?_ He wondered miserably as he watched her reach her hands toward the sky, confirming his fear.

_...Of COURSE she is._

He watched helplessly as she sighed involuntarily, her face totally calm and pleased all at once. Ichigo felt himself grow hotter and hotter as her back arched, and guess what that made HIM think of.

Suddenly, there was a really loud _**SNAP**_.

Peyton instantly stopped stretching to look around, as did he, when he suddenly realized it had been the sound of the pencil in his hand snapping in half. _...OF COURSE._

"Alright, what kind of IDIOT broke their pencil THIS FAR into the finals?" Ms. Ochi bellowed. Ichigo whistled innocently, tossing his pencil remnants onto Shinji's desk.

Renji immediately pointed at Shinji, who started to try and build things with the broken pencil, having not noticed it fall onto his desk.

"Ooooh, distraction!" He said with a grateful snicker as he started building some crappy kind of house out of it.

Ms. Ochi just sweatdropped, sighed, and shook her head. "...Kids these days."

Peyton, however, reluctantly made eye contact with Ichigo. Almost instantly, the feelings and urges that had been building up since he first started staring at her just about quadruplified themselves.

She seemed to be struggling with things along the same lines. "...Nice one," she muttered in her typical "you're-such-a-dumbass" tone.

He just smirked, and that made her suddenly turn around so fast he almost didn't hear the tiny gasp she stifled. Was that a trace of a moan he had heard?

Ichigo shook his head quickly. _No no no no no no NO NO NOOOO, STOP IT, DAMMIT DAMMIT...DAMMIT ICHIGO!_

_**King, this sucks.**_

_SHUT UP!_

_**Will do. 'Scuse me, while I go wallow in self-pity.**_

_No problem._

* * *

Peyton felt so bad. She had gone from feeling homicidal, to happy, to angry, to annoyed, to frustrated, to aroused...to...what?

She didn't even know. She just felt it, and she felt it hard.

Stupid period hormones.

She felt so bad, doing this to Ichigo. Now he finally had her back, could finally do all the things she missed him doing to her, she could do all the things HE missed HER doing to HIM, and...oh, wait...NO! BECAUSE MOTHER NATURE DECIDED TO BE A BITCH!

And he wasn't the only one feeling deprived. So WHAT if they had done it three or four times since she got back?

So what?

That didn't make up for almost a MONTH of being deprived of something that felt so good, left them feeling so high, left her feeling so..._loved_.

And now she had to wait roughly another whole week thanks to her period. WHICH came early, did we mention that?

How in the HELL did this always happen? Hadn't she just gotten over her period around the day she was kidnapped?

Wait, no, AFTER that, because she distinctly remembered feeling ashamed the first couple days of her captivity because she was bleeding right through her clothes and could do absolutely nothing about it, thanks to solitary confinement.

So NOT EVEN three whole weeks had passed since her last Week Of Hell. ...AND the wedding was two days away!

_NOT FAIR!_

Ichigo jumped. "You think WAY too loudly, you know that?"

Peyton sighed miserably, stomping up his stairs after saying hi to his usual household occupants.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry."

He waved her off, right before the world's most awkwardest moment was born. Somehow, the two idiots managed to try and get through his door at the same time.

Meaning, while suffering through all these pent-up feelings and urges, they were suddenly pressed right up against each other as if to say "THERE! Go right ahead!".

They stared at each other for a second, her chest against his lower torso, her hip against his arm, his leg and thigh somehow pressed against her own.

They cleared their throats anxiously as they tried to move, ending with Peyton diving and hitting the floor rather ungracefully.

Ichigo sweatdropped. "...Well, that's one way to do it."

* * *

They then seemed to realize at the same time they made a HUGE mistake of coming up here. In his room.

With a lock.

Lots of locks.

And a bed.

And a floor.

And...hell, even a chair, a wall, they didn't quite _care_ at this point.

Peyton groaned inwardly as Ichigo helped her up like the nice guy he was. But quite honestly, it made her want to beat him in the head with a shovel.

A really heavy one.

Now she was stuck with her hand in his grip, and he was stuck trying to make himself let go, and now they were both stuck looking at each other.

Finally, she coughed and let her eyes drop to the floor as she finally slid out of his grip and headed for his door.

"Uhhh...I think perhaps this wasn't my brightest idea...I'm just gonna go downstairs.."

Ichigo grabbed her hand again, sighing. "No, don't. It's fine. We can totally resist each other, right?"

She gave him a sarcastic look. "Is that a trick question? Ichigo, lemme go downstairs. I don't want you popping a blood vessel from concentrating too hard on resisting me."

He didn't even bother denying that one, and Peyton groaned. "Awww MAN! I feel like the worst girlfriend EVER, torturing you like this!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes, and she was so busy looking into them that she didn't notice he was slowly inching her towards the wall. "You're not TORTURING me."

She rolled HER eyes. "Yeah right!" Peyton eyed him warily as he shut his door. "Ichigo..."

His hand moved from her hand to run up her arm, stroking the inside of her elbow. That shut her up in record time. "Just stop talking."

* * *

With that simple sentence, he kissed her, making her feelings triple themselves in strength. Luckily for him, he kissed her gently, slowly. If he hadn't, she might've tackled him to the ground right then and there.

_I guess he'd consider that UN-lucky for him_, She mused as she took the initiative to deepen the kiss as the inside-elbow-stroking increased.

Next thing Peyton knew she was pinned against the wall, yet closer to him at the same time, her hands running up his own arms, itching to reach under his shirt and trace his battle scars like she did sometimes at night when they were just laying there.

It got hotter in there as he kissed her cheek, her jawline, back to her mouth. She moaned and felt her knees nearly buckle when he did something totally new and gently nibbled her ear.

...Oh good GOD, was this supposed to HELP somehow? Honestly, she was pretty sure she was as aroused, throbbing and ready as she would've been if they were doing more than kissing.

_Thanks so much Ichigo, you sexy orange-haired bastard. Knowing my weaknesses like that..._

To get back at him, when he tried the nibbling in a different spot (the hollow of her neck, to be exact), she did something truly evil. Not only did she moan (which, trust me, wasn't fake in the least bit), but she dug her nails into his shoulder and ran her leg up his, brushing her knee against-

"Ohhhh GOD, Peyton, WHY?" He moaned. She simply laughed a little huskily.

Needless to say, the intensity had been steadily increasing, and it soon reached the point where Ichigo just plain HAD to break off the kissing.

They were both breathing a little heavy from the effort of controlling themselves (or lack thereof), and he pressed his forehead against hers at the same time her hands wrapped around the back of his neck.

"...See? Shutting up isn't always so bad, now, is it?"

Peyton gave him a halfhearted glare, and he just laughed as he kissed her one more time. She couldn't help but pull him back down for more, but then OF COURSE Nel walked in.

"ITSYGO, ITSYGO'S GIRLFWIEND! NEL WANTS TO PWAY HER NEW GAME!"

Their temples throbbed. "...Dammit."


	89. The Wedding

**Me: WE'RE BACK!**

**Rukia: AND NO OUTRIGHT PERVYNESS IN THIS CHAPP! JUST FLUFF!**

**Me: Because even the perviest of minds need a break or two from it, right? RIGHT?**

**Ichigo: WRONG.**

**Me: (Glares)**

**Ichigo: (Gulps) ...I-I-I mean RIGHT!**

**Me: (Pats head) Good boy! We have quite a few cakes this time...(before i can even snap my fingers, we hear Kon panting and wheeling out cakes) Good boy, you're learning!**

**Kon and Ichigo: Thank you! (Glare at each other)**

**Kon: She meant me.**

**Ichigo: NO, she meant ME.**

**Kon: NO, she meant ME, and she's rewarding me with some nude pics! **

**Me: AM NOT!**

**Ichigo: NO, you jackass, she meant ME, and she's rewarding me with a shower scene with Peyton!**

**Me: AM NO- ...Well, i dunno, MAYBE.**

**Ichigo: Yessss!**

**Me: (Throws gauntlet) IT'S NOT DEFINITE! ON TO THE CAKES! **

**Kon: RIGHT!**

**(Cake Number one is from Josie-Chan, it's of Lindsay, Seth, and Peyton. Peyton and Lindsay are hugging and sweatdropping while Seth is on his knees screaming "I MISSED VIVA LA BAM! WHY!")**

**Ichigo: (Sweatdrops after kicking Kon into the wall) That was one of the most pathetic things I've ever seen Seth do in my LIFE.**

**Me: Yeah, but it was hilarious, eh?**

**Ichigo: Hell yeah.**

**Me: (Nods importantly) Thought so. ONTO CAKE NUMBER TWO!**

**(Cake 2 is ALSO from Josie-Chan, it's of Nel playing her new game while she is screaming "YAH whets PWAY ITSYGO AND ITSYGO'S GIRLFRIEND!" while Ichigo and Peyton are trying not to tackle each other and have hot hot sex. Ichigo mutters "stupid hormones" and Peyton mutters "damn mother nature" while on the background Josie is yelling "I KNOW WHAT U MEAN PEYTON~SAMA!")**

**Ichigo: Now THAT was a really, really grim day.**

**Rukia: (Eye-roll)**

**Me: Oh you poor thing (words practically dripping with sarcasm) CAKE NUMBER 3!**

**(Cake 3 is from Squee. It's a 13-story-high, keyblade shaped, chocolate/strawberry/awesomesauce flavored cake with chocolate frosting for me and Ichigo)**

**Ichigo: (Drooling) Oh, i am SO all over that.**

**Me: NOT IF I GET TO IT FIRST! **

**Rukia: WAIT, we have more cake! **

**(Cake 4 and 5 are from Reason to Scatter. Cake 4 is a chocolate cake topped with strawberries that spell out "A game...a weally ACTIVE game..." and Cake 5 is a devil's food cake shaped like a gauntlet)**

**Me: OMNOMNOMNOMNOM- OH! ALSO! Reason to Scatter, just so ya know, those coolbeans in awesomesauce with a side of epicfries sounded just fine! Hahaha- NO, MINE! (Snatches cake back from Ichigo)**

**Me, Rukia, and Ichigo: OMNOMNOMMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM! (Translation: Enjoy.)**

* * *

Peyton better be considered a good candidate as a mother, considering she played with Nel most of the rest of the day, and after school the next day.

Nel _really _liked the new game they had come up with (not as much as she and Ichigo liked THEIR games), and the way Peyton saw it, maybe the kid was helping them.

Nel was a good distraction from her Period Symptoms and messed-up hormones, because honestly, who would act on EITHER of those around someone so innocent as Nel?

She also figured that the reason her hormones were driving her so wild _was_ in fact her early period; the same thing used to happen to her mom.

...THOSE were terrifying days in the Cullen household.

But now the wedding was today, and Peyton had to pick out and wear a dress while bloated, which wasn't the funnest activity in the world.

Oh, and the HEELS Lindsay insisted she bought? ...Oh dear God, she was scared she might bleed to death. There are some people that were just plain BORN to wear heels and dresses and not trip in public a single time.

...Peyton was not, never was, and never would be one of those people.

"I hope you realize I'm sacrificing a lot of unbruised skin for ya'll," Peyton informed Miya and Dad as she re-wrapped her wrist bandage at breakfast, as usual.

Miya smiled, and Dad rolled his eyes. "You'll be fine, Peyton, I promise."

"You say that NOW. Wait 'till I go flying down the aisle and cause all the bridesmaids to fall like dominos. Just WAIT."

Seth nodded ominously. "She'll do it, you know. Not purposely, but she'll do it."

Peyton's temple throbbed. "Seth, this is the part where you totally DISAGREE with my statement and give me some form of compliment."

Lindsay held up a finger as if the following idea was ingenius. "Oooh! How about _this _for a compliment? You really do look great in the shade of green in that dress you picked out. Can hardly tell you're bloated!"

_Hardly?_

Her temple throbbed again. "_Not _helping."

"I tried."

"You want a golden star sticker for that?"

"No thanks, sis, I'm good."

Peyton huffed, looking around. "Well I do. I haven't worn a sticker in _forever_!"

Everyone sweatdropped, and Nanaw shook her head. "My Hunk Muffin's in love with a _child_."

They all sweatdropped again, and Peyton's temple throbbed. "I'M SURE YOU KNOW WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE, YA DAMN COUGAR!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**TWO ****HOURS LATER...**_

Peyton was walking by Miya and Dad's room, trying with all her might to whistle (and failing epically, as per usual), when she heard a whistle come from behind the closed door.

"Peyton? I need your help!"

She shrugged and opened the door, then sweatdropped. Miya was sitting on the bed, legs crossed, among a sea of balled-up paper and lots of different-colored (occasionally feathery) pens.

Miya smiled bashfully, brushing back some hair that fell out of her messy ponytail. "Umm...I forgot to write my vows."

Peyton sweatdropped. "...Did you really? You're joking, right?"

"No. Afraid not. I need help," she whined rather uncharacteristically. Peyton sighed before shrugging and jumping onto the bed, giggling like a little kid when she made a wave in the Paper Wad Sea.

"How far are you?"

"Almost done, just...I've never been good with words and tried to put this off as much as possible," Miya confessed guiltily.

Peyton waved off her guilt. "I would too, don't worry about it! Hmm...So...what's gotchya stuck?"

Miya sighed again and handed her the paper she hadn't yet tossed aside, talking while she read it over. "Weelll, I don't want it to be all cheesy like most vows, but I want it to mean something. Ya know? I want it to be good enough so people can see once and for all that I don't CARE that he's almost eight years older than me. I don't CARE that he has three kids. And I don't CARE that he may or may not have money. I'm here with him, living with him, watching his kids grow up with him...because I love him and couldn't see my life without him in it," she concluded hotly.

Peyton nearly dropped her paper, what with what her stepmom had said and the proud yet tender way she had said it. "...Dude...Say THAT."

"Really?"

"Oh hell yes. With a vow like that, even _I'll_ be crying. And that's SAYING something!" Miya turned a little red as she laughed. "Thanks, Peyton."

"You can call me P, you know. Everyone else does around here." Except Ichigo; she never fully understood why he didn't.

His answer had changed several times since they met. First it was "because that would imply we're friends", then it was "because Jake the Douche calls you P all the time", and then it was "because I never have and it's a bit late to start now, stupid".

Now it was "because I like your whole name, not just a letter. Do you really think I'm lazy enough to cut out one extra syllable?".

Peyton shrugged the thought away, and Miya smiled. "Alright, P. Thanks." She nodded and left to fix some food, and she was almost to the door when she had a sudden thought tugging at her brain.

_Should I say..._

_Maybe later, _Peyton decided, nodding her head to herself before leaving the bride to writing down the rest of her vows.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****HOURS LATER...**_

"Ta-daaaa!" Lindsay cheered as she plugged in the curling iron, raising her hands dramatically as the red light flashed on.

Peyton rolled her eyes, and Rukia poked her head out of the former's closet. "Ooooh, I like your dress, Peyton."

Matsumoto poked her head out as well, assessing the youngest Cullen sister in under fifteen seconds.

"Nice choice. Short empire green bridesmaid dress, strapless, and empire cut with a crimpled bust. Complete with a _beautiful_ one shoulder strap with back spaghetti straps and sheer chiffon over the satin skirt part. It really DOES make you look not even the least bit bloated!"

Lindsay nodded happily. "I helped pick it out!"

Rukia sweatdropped. "So...In normal-people terms, it's..."

"It's a green dress that makes my boobs look a little awesomer and my stomach not look as bloated since I'm on my period and need all the confidence I can get at the moment," Peyton replied, temple throbbing.

Matsumoto crossed her arms and shook her head. "We need to get you two out shopping more. You've gotta learn Shoppaholic Linguistics."

"I have a better idea, why don't I go slit my wrists?" Peyton replied dully. Lindsay sweatdropped as everyone else laughed.

"Yeeep, you're DEFINITELY on your period! I'll be extra careful not to burn you with the iron or stab you in the eye with the mascara wand."

"OR you could just lemme get MYSELF ready."

Her older sister laughed. "Ha! That's a good one, sis. I love your sense of humor."

Peyton suddenly looked in the mirror at her closet, sweatdropping as more clothes were thrown out.

"...Okay, first of all, MATSUMOTO, what the hell are YOU doing in there? Like hell any of my clothes are gonna fit your boobs!"

"Like they'll fit RUKIA'S boobs either! What little boobs she has!"

"HEY! …No need to make it more vivid for me," Rukia snapped, making them all snicker.

* * *

Peyton waited patiently (here meaning bouncing her leg and causing the side of her head to get burnt at least four times) for Lindsay to finish her hair, and FINALLY she set the iron down with finality.

"Yay! On to makeup!"

"PLEASE lemme do this one myself," Peyton pleaded, tearing up dramatically. Rukia and Matsumoto sweatdropped as Lindsay started bawling.

"How selfish of me! Anything for my little sister! I'm just glad to have you back! Do what you want, I'll go get myself ready!"

Lindsay scurried away before coming back and taking the iron, shuffling away dramatically. "...I need this."

Rukia sighed and shook her head as Peyton grinned triumphantly. "You've been hanging around ME too much."

Peyton simply smiled innocently. "Whatever do you mean, Rukia? You mean...You PRETEND to be that innocent? NO WAY!"

Matsumoto snorted a laugh. "Anyone who's toying with Renji like our dear little Kuchiki here is SO not innocent."

_**BAM!**_

"Ow, my BOOBS!"

"I AM NOT TOYING WITH RENJI! AND EVEN IF I WAS, WHAT ABOUT YOU AND TOHSIRO?"

"What ABOUT my Captain and I?"

Rukia opened her mouth to shout some more, but Peyton held up a hand and shook her head. "Don't have a coronary, Rukia, everyone ELSE knows it's obvious."

Matsumoto grinned. "What, like Rukia and Renji's obviousity?"

"Actually, yes, EXACTLY like that."

"HEY!"

"...Oh, HI Rukia!"

Rukia narrowed her eyes and grabbed one of Peyton's few dresses from the closet, slipping off her jeans. "...I'm wearing this."

* * *

After Peyton finished getting ready, still debating whether or not she should even bother trying to get away with wearing her monkey house shoes, Dad ran into her spastically.

"GAH! Just who I was looking for! ...Do you know how to tie a tie?"

Peyton sweatdropped. "...Dad...How have you gone all this time WITHOUT knowing how to tie a tie?"

"Well, your momma used to do it for me, it was her thing...and I haven't needed one since she died."

Her face softened, and she rolled her eyes as usual before tightening the tie around his neck. "I guess I'm glad you ran into me, then. Otherwise I'm sure you'd try and sneak on a clip-on, and Linds would absolutely MURDER you."

"Not likely, she hid it somewhere."

They both laughed as they heard her shouting at Seth to comb his hair, as if to prove how wound-up she was. "Her and weddings, I just don't get it, dad."

He smiled and ruffled her hair. "That's 'cause you're different. Lindsay's your typical southern belle, just like my momma. You, on the other hand...You're just like Steph. Ballsy, don't take crap from anyone, wanna do things your way or no way. And I will tell you that she'd _never _been a fan of marriage."

Peyton's eyebrows shot up. "She seemed plenty happy with the concept when I knew her. Talked about our future weddings all the time with grandmomma and her sisters, remember?"

"You'll be the same way soon enough, too. Steph...she found someone who made her believe in it. ...And then she settled for me," he added sarcastically, making her grin.

"Dad?"

"Huh?"

"Uhh...I missed you. While I was...gone. And I, uh...yeah."

Dad chuckled and hugged her tightly. "Yeah, I missed you too, hon. Now go make sure Lindsay doesn't rip your big brother apart."

"Aye-aye, Mon Capitan!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**AN ****HOUR LATER...**_

Lindsay was busy making sure the wedding itself ran smoothly, so Peyton was the one helping Miya get ready in the designated church room for brides.

She was in the middle of lacing up the back of her wedding dress for her when Miya suddenly asked, "Peyton? Are you...okay with this?"

Peyton looked at Miya via the mirror. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, I know how you feel about your mom's death, and I just...wanted to make sure...I wasn't upsetting you."

She bit her lip thoughtfully. "Well...Actually, I wanted to mention this earlier. It's been gnawing at my brain, I think I need to say it."

Miya paled. "G-Go ahead."

"Well, at first, it did more than _bug_ me. It made me miserable. I never knew you _existed_ until Dad brought you home for dinner that day, and then suddenly you're living in my house and engaged to my dad."

Miya looked down at her hands, and Peyton sighed. "Lemme finish before you become overcome with guilt! Jeez. Anyway, yeah, I wasn't too happy. I thought you were...I dunno...Dad's way of replacing mom. But now...I think I get it."

Miya looked back up as Peyton looked down at the dress' back, a bit uncomfortable with what she was about to say.

"I kinda...I think I really, REALLY understood when I was on my way to that hill, to be executed. When I thought Ichigo was dead...I...I was absolutely devastated. I wanted to die, too. I'll admit it, I was about to welcome the idea of dying, because I figured he'd be there too, and...I...I love him so much. But then I realized he'd want me to live and be happy, or it'd be like all the time we spent together, and all the things he'd done to keep me safe, would be for nothing. I had to do more than live, I had to keep going. And on our way back to Karakura, it just kinda dawned on me out of nowhere that it was the same thing with you and Dad."

She finished tying the back, but her hands stayed there anyway. "He'll always love mom. Always. But it's okay for him to keep going, and move on, and have room to love someone else just as much. And...I can tell, just like Lindsay said I would eventually. I can just tell how much he loves you. Though it sounds kinda self-absorbed, I can tell how much he loves you because I recognize him doing and saying the same things I do around Ichigo, and what he does and says to me."

She smiled a little. "And I'll tell you right now, I may be sixteen, but I can honestly say I don't think I could ever love anyone as much as I love that orange-haired dumbass. I'd do anything for him. And dad would do absolutely anything for you, just like I know you would for him."

There was silence, and Peyton looked up to see Miya giving her the sappiest look she'd ever seen her wear.

She hugged Peyton tearfully. "Oh, Peyton, that's gotta be the most romantic thing I've ever heard! Not just from you, but from _anybody_!"

She blushed, hugging Miya back. "R-Really, I didn't mean to sound so sappy, I just kinda rambled, and-"

"Don't ruin it, I'm about to get married and I'm ultra-emotional and...NOW I DON'T HAVE COLD FEET THANKS TO YOU, YOU STOPPED 'EM BEFORE I COULD EVEN REALLY GET THEM!" She choked out tearfully.

"Okay, okay, that's great, loosen your grip a little! I'm turning purple and it's clashing horribly with my outfit and my hair!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**LATER****...**_

"Oh, Linds, this is great!" Rukia said in an "oooh" and "ahhh" kind of tone, looking around. They were at some place in Karakura overlooking the river for the reception party, like one big patio. The sun was setting, and paper lanterns in different shapes and colors were strung around the joint, in the air.

Lindsay smiled, still flushed red from excitement and energy. It made her look even more beautiful, matching great with her breezy pink-and-purple spring dress and braided blonde hair.

Peyton wasn't jealous; she was actually quite contented watching her sister enjoy her hard work. She was just too tired herself to do much, what with her early period AND having to stand through the entire wedding.

Weddings were so boring. Would it be wrong for her to say that she kind of thought funerals were a lot more interesting?

Not more ENJOYABLE, but more interesting. Funerals seemed to go by faster. Maybe it was because weddings were part of a new start, and funerals were part of an unwelcome end?

_...Wow, I just got all deep on myself._

"She really outdid herself on this, eh?" Matsumoto commented from beside her, making Peyton nearly fall out of her chair in surprise. "Jeez, Matsumoto, don't DO that!"

"But it's so fun," she giggled.

Peyton just sighed, then nodded. "...Yeah, she really did. Y'know, she helped dad with Japanese since the week he announced his engagement?"

"I didn't know that!"

"Neither did I. She told me about it on the way here."

Dad had said his vows entirely in Japanese, which he had been slowly learning since last fall, as a surprise for Miya. His bride wasn't the only one who had no clue he spoke correct slang-free English, much less another language entirely.

So he totally won over Miya's mom. Finally.

Peyton had yet to do that, Katana still didn't seem to favor her very much. She was currently discussing with Orihime about their "alternative cooking styles".

That's right, Katana was one of the rare people that liked Orihime's cooking.

Matsumoto suddenly grinned like mad, and pointed to her Captain. Peyton promptly laughed her ass off. "HAHAHAHAHA! Toshiro...In a TUX? HAHAHAHA!"

Matsumoto grinned some more and ran over to him before pointing at Peyton. HE was the one laughing this time.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! PEYTON...in a DRESS? HAHAHAHAHA!"

Peyton's temple throbbed. "...Okay, I should've seen that one coming."

* * *

As if on cue, a sort of upbeat but obviously romantic song came on, and Peyton's glare turned into a sneaky grin. "Go on, you two," she prompted.

Matsumoto didn't hesitate in pulling her Captain onto the dance floor, much to his horror and Peyton's sadistic pleasure.

She glanced over to see who was singing and gasped. "Hey, I THOUGHT I knew this song!" One of the first Japanese songs she had ever listened to; "Momo No Hanabira", by Ai Otsuka.

Now that she thought about it, Linds HAD mentioned getting Ai Otsuka to sing at the wedding.

...Damn, she really SHOULD have paid more attention. Maybe Ai would've signed her napkin or something before going onstage.

Oh well, maybe she could catch the singer afterward. Peyton was looking at her swinging feet (which were killing her, thanks to the damn shoes) and humming along when someone caught her feet.

She looked up, and glared with mock anger. "Ichigoooo, gimme my feet back."

He grinned and held up...her monkey house shoes. Peyton smiled, then started giggling as he slipped off her shoes and stared down at the cursed heels. "...I think I see your blood pooling in these."

She sighed. "I wouldn't be the least bit surprised. Now you see why I'm sitting."

"Yeah, well NOW," He said as he slid the last monkey on her foot, "You have no excuse not to dance with me."

"But I can't dance good, AT ALL," she whined as he pulled her up onto her feet (which already felt a lot better).

Ichigo sweatdropped. "This coming from the girl who's famous for her Happy Dance and doing the moonwalk out of classrooms she aces a test in."

She huffed. "That's different."

"I think you're just too scared to dance with me."

"Am NOT!" Peyton cried out indignantly, huffing in defeat as he carefully grabbed her wrapped-up hand and guided it towards the back of his neck.

* * *

She wrapped the other one around his neck as well, and his own hands wrapped around her waist.

"Gee, Ichigo, you didn't have to dress up so fancy for this," she commented, looking pointedly at his jeans and "Nice Vibe" t-shirt.

"Hey, I have a tie on, don't I? And Yuzu IRONED these for me," Ichigo replied defensively, gesturing at his clothes.

"Really?"

"Yeah. And my underwear. I don't get why the hell she wanted to in the first place, but she wouldn't lemme take 'em from her, so I had no choice but to watch my little sister handle my delicates."

Peyton bit back a laugh. "...Your _delicates_, Ichigo?"

"Oh shut up!"

That made the laughter slip out, and he just shook his head. "At least YOU find it funny."

"I do. Hey, Toshiro's wearing a tux."

Ichigo glanced around, found him, and smirked. "...That doesn't surprise me very much. The guy's such a hard-ass. What _surprises _me is that he's letting Matsumoto strangle him like that."

They sweatdropped as the aforementioned Captain and Lieutenant did another spin on the dance floor, Toshiro's nose practically buried in her cleavage. His temple throb was so massive they could see it on Constant Throb-Mode from where they were, yards away.

They both started laughing at the two Soul Reapers, and then Ichigo looked her up and down. "...Well, that surprises me too."

"What does?" She narrowed her eyes. "Careful how you answer that question, Kurosaki."

He grinned. "No, nothing bad, just...I've never seen you in a dress before."

Peyton's eyebrows shot up. "Really? I _thought _you had...Hey, wait, what the hell do you call the kimono I had on for my execution?"

He waved her off. "That didn't count, that was the _last _thing I was looking at."

Peyton sweatdropped. "...Oh, what I'd give to see how that makes sense to you." Ichigo's grin grew. "You wanna know something?"

"Whaaaat?"

He leaned down and rested his forehead against hers. "You look downright beautiful. I think you might be taking attention away from the bride."

Peyton grinned like an idiot. "Only in your mind, Ichigo, but that's good enough for me." She glanced at the aforementioned bride, who was currently dancing with her father.

"You know...I'm kinda glad she's around. Dad was more torn up about mom and all that than I was, which YOU KNOW is saying something, but I noticed it sorta...went away. Out of nowhere."

Her grin grew as she looked back at Ichigo. "I found out it was around the day he first started working with Miya."

Ichigo nodded, glancing at her dad. "I guess Mark found the thing that made his rain stop for good."

Peyton's brows furrowed. "What rain?"

He grinned again and shook his head, kissing her forehead. "Nothing, it's a long story."

* * *

Miya sighed and shook her head at her husband. "Mark, let it go." His gaze shifted back to her with a smile. "Oh, I'm not mad about it. I mean, ...I still don't like how I found _out _about 'em, but..."

They both looked at Ichigo and Peyton as he spun her around and she laughed. The two newlyweds sweatdropped once they noticed her shoes, and Mark shook his head with a chuckle. "How can I not respect a man that makes her _that _happy, and brought her back home when I couldn't?"

Miya nodded happily. "Exactly. Although...I don't know how long he'll live if Lindsay sees Peyton's shoes."

Mark grinned. "Naw, she'll probably be cooin' about how sweet it is-" As if on cue, they suddenly heard Lindsay go "Awww, KEIGO! Look at what ICHIGO did, even though I threatened both of their lives if I saw those house shoes on her feet!"

"Thanks a lot, Kurosaki," Keigo muttered as he dipped Lindsay, who giggled and kissed him. "Don't worry, I still love you."

Mark sighed and shook his head. "Miya, my kids are growin' up. Seth's off to college in about a month, Linds is goin' next year, Peyton's gonna be married and/or pregnant before I have time to BLINK..."

His wife laughed and shook her head. "Mr. Cullen, you worry too much. You better lighten up before you get gray hairs."

He smiled. "But that's what YOU'RE here for. Mrs. Cullen, you have the honor of getting gray hairs with me."

"I'm more than happy to," she replied before kissing him.


	90. Waffle House, Teamwork, & Banana Peels!

**Me: BACK AGAIN! FINALLY! **

**Ichigo: Awesome. Splendid. Where the fuck's the cakes? We got a ton last chapp.**

**Me: (Glares toward other end of room) KOOOON, GET YOUR STUFFED ASS OUT HERE!**

**Kon: COOOOMIIIINGG! (Wheels out Cake Number One. It's from MangaMagic. It's a giant cake with a Cinderella-esque scene of Peyton and Ichigo, with Ichigo putting Peyton's slipper on her foot. There's**** a crown on his head and a tiara on hers. written on the side in cursive is: Dude, What's With the Robe: Cinderella Scene.)**

**Rukia: Awwwww!**

**Ichigo: (Sweatdrops) Trust me, there's plenty more, dude.**

**Me: OH! Before we continue, I'd like to also credit MangaMagic, because her review conversation and such inspired the whole Rukia-Peyton-Matsumoto-Ichigo scene in the first part of this. So thank her for the hilarity at poor Rukia's expense! ON TO CAKE NUMBER TWO!**

**Kon: Riiight!**

**(Cake Number Two is from KijoKuroi. It's a 6 layer white wedding cake. The 2 bottom layers are fancily decorated, The 3rd bottom layer has Lindsay saying to Keigo, "Awww, KEIGO! Look at what ICHIGO did, even though I threatened both of their lives if I saw those house shoes on her feet!". The layer above that one has Toshiro being suffocated by Matsumoto's boobs while dancing. The layer that's second to the top has Peyton dancing with Ichigo in her house slippers, and the top one has Mark and Miya kissing.)**

**Ichigo: ...I am pretty awesome, aren't i? Im like the best boyfriend ever.**

**Me: (Temple throb) Good to see the fluffiness of the last chapp didnt go to your head, Ichigo. ON TO CAKE NUMBER THREE!**

**Kon: INDEED, MISTRESS MANDY! (Cake Number Three is from Josie-Chan. It's a cake of Peyton and Ichigo sweatdropping while dancing. Why are they sweatdropping? Because Nel is saying "Awwww!" while taking pictures. She's**** also saying "Woowww, itsygo and itsygo's girlfriend aren't pwaying their vewy fwun 'game' or fighting wid eachoder?" Toshiro's already passed out because of lack of oxygen but Rangiku is still dancing with him, completely oblivious. Mark is dancing with miya (he heard nel's comment) and asks "does she mean THAT 'game'?The one we play at night? AM I GONNA BE A GRANDFATHER! AM I GONNA HAV 2 KILL THAT BOY?" Miya says "no sweety nel is talking about the game on the wii that they play...heh...now lets just enjoy our wedding and dont kill ichigo i mean he makes peyton very happy" Nanaw is in the background saying "yeah dont kill my hunk muffin!")**

**Ichigo: ...Im surprised that didnt happen, actually.**

**Me: Me too...DAMMIT, I SHOULD'VE PUT THAT IN THERE!**

**Rukia: THat would've ruined the fluff!**

**Me: Screw you, that would've been fucking HILARIOUS! Oh well. No use. ON TO CAKE NUMBER FOUR! **

**Kon: Aye-Aye! (Cake Number Four is from Mer. It's white and in the shape of a star. There are three couples dancing around the center of the star: Toushiro and Rangiku, Peyton and Ichigo, and Lindsay and Keigo. In the center is Mark and his new wife surrounded by the other couples and blue frosting that says, ' This Is Where It All Begins'.)**

**Rukia: AWWWWW!**

**Ichigo: SHUT UP, I WANNA FINISH THIS UP SO WE CAN EAT THE CAKES!**

**Me: (Temple throb, cue total sarcasm) Ichigo, you shouldnt be so sentimental, jeez. WHATEVER. CAKE NUMBER FIVE!**

**Kon: RIGHT! (Cake Number Five is from X-ParadeOfJoy-X. It's a 50 foot tall purple, white, and turquiose cake with the letters "SORRY FOR NOT REVEIWING FOR SO LONG!" across it with little dancing figurines showing Peyton and Ichigo doing the chicken dance, Keigo and Lindsay doing the fox-trot, Mark and Miya doing the waltz, and Orihime and Seth doing the macarana.)**

**Ichigo: That's right, BE SORRY you didnt review for so-**

**Me: (Kicks him in the groin) STOP BEING A BITCH, OR YOU'LL NEVER GET LAID AGAIN!**

**Ichigo: (Groans and keels over) I JUST WANTED CAKE SOONER!**

**Me: WELL LOOK WHERE THAT GOT YOU!**

**Rukia: (Eye-twitch) ...If we missed any cakes, we humbly apologize, we get so many...BUT STILL! Let us know if we forgot any, we'll try and remember them next chapp. Review, and ENJOY! (Loads shotgun) DO I NEED TO SETTLE THIS THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY?**

**Me and Ichigo: AHHHHH!**

Once the newlyweds had driven out of sight, towards the airport, Peyton stopped waving and sighed tiredly. "Ichigo, I'll love you forever if you carry me."

He sweatdropped. "You say that as if I _never_ carry you."

She shrugged. "Better safe than sorry, right?"

"SPEAKING of safe, do you have any rubbers?" Seth asked Ichigo in a stage-whisper, Orihime looking all flushed and laughing nervously beside him.

Peyton covered her face with her hands, wailing dramatically, "My eyes. My EYES. MY EYYYYEEESSS! DAMMIT, SETH, MENTAL IMAGES!"

Ichigo sweatdropped. "How do you think HE feels, picturing _us_ having sex? I mean, plus, we aren't exactly quiet, I'm sure he's heard us those times I've snuck in the window..."

Seth was the one covering his eyes this time. "DUDE, THAT WAS SO LONG AGO THAT I WASN'T EVEN _THINKING _ABOUT THAT UNTIL YOU _SAID_ IT!"

Ichigo sweatdropped again and quickly handed Seth a condom. Peyton watched with a sweatdrop._ Did he honestly think he might need that while I'm on my period? HAHAHA! If he tried, he'd end up on the floor the whole night! Ahhhh, my boyfriend cracks me up... _"If it helps, she forces me to wear 'em _every _time now," he said innocently.

Seth just groaned and snatched the piece of plastic, stomping off. "Ichigo, shut up before my brain's permanently fried."

He drooped as he watched Peyton's brother go. "Great, he's gonna kill me now for sure." His temple throbbed as she tried not to giggle. "Don't make me tickle you until you pass out, AGAIN."

She stopped giggling to glare at him. "That was ONE TIME, and it SUCKED! I had a black eye for weeks from knocking against that table, thanks to that, and the counselor was convinced you were abusing me!"

Ichigo wrapped an arm around her waist while making a thinking noise. "Ohhh yeahhhh, I remember that. I still don't get why they immediately assumed _I_ beat you. Why not PARENTAL abuse?"

"Probably because you're an orange-headed deviant."

"Probably. I can't help it you have a thing for bad boys."

Peyton smirked. "I have a thing for bad boys, huh? THAT explains why chicks keep telling me I shouldn't be dating you!"

His temple throbbed, and she laughed. "Ichigo, just kiss me."

"Well, IF I MUST..."

Both their temples throbbed as Matsumoto and Rukia suddenly cooed "AWWWWW, how SWEET!".

* * *

Peyton huffed as Ichigo pulled away, not letting go of his neck as she turned to look at them. "...Thanks, for that. You morons."

Matsumoto smiled. "Sorry. But earlier, you two dancing...that was the most adorable thing I've ever _seen_!"

On the inside, Peyton totally agreed. Something along the lines of,_ I know! I should have glomped him right then and there!_

But outwardly, she simply blinked. "...Oh. Really?"

Rukia nodded. "From what Matsumoto told me, it was. Ichigo, I never knew you had that big a heart!"

Ichigo shrugged. "Yeah, well I just – wait, what? What the hell do you mean by 'that big a heart?"

Rukia, Matsumoto, and even Peyton sweatdropped. "...Would've thought it was obvious," Rukia replied dully.

Ichigo sighed exasperatedly, then glared at Rukia, temple throbbing. "Yeah? Well, where the hell were YOU this whole time?"

A sly grin spread onto Peyton's face. "YOU KNOW...Renji wasn't there either. And then _Rukia_ mysteriously disappeared...I wonder why...?"

Ichigo, Peyton, and Matsumoto looked pointedly at Rukia's askew updo (which was now in every direction BUT up) and dissheveled dress.

Ichigo started laughing, making Rukia's temple throb even more. "Holy CRAP! You two were off shagging somewhere, _weren't_ you!

The tiny Soul Reaper immediately got flustered. "We did _no_ such thing! I-I just tripped on something, that's all!"

Her busty fellow Soul Reaper cocked an eyebrow. "Oh REALLY?"

Peyton couldn't help it, she smirked and nodded. "Yeah, on Renji's pants!" She and her boyfriend started laughing and exchanged a fist-bump, making Rukia's temple throb even more as she tried to kick Ichigo.

He dodged it just in time. Him and Peyton gulped as she started advancing towards them, and he picked her up and started running. "TIME TO GO, TIME TO GO, WE PISSED HER OFF!"

"ROYALLY!" Peyton agreed, taking off her house shoes and setting them on her stomach.

Rukia wasn't too far behind, dress hitched up nearly to her hips and looking...well, royally pissed.

"YOU TWO'RE GONNA BE DEADER THAN _ROADKILL_ WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOUUUU!" She bellowed.

"That sounds like something a Southerner would say," Peyton mumbled. Ichigo sweatdropped. "You know, I think you actually might've said that to me before!"

"That's great, fantastic, splendid, PLEASE FOCUS ON OUTRUNNING THE PSYCHOTIC SOUL REAPER BEHIND US!"

"SORRY!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****HOURS LATER...**_

"Ichigo?"

"Huh?"

"Is she gone, you think?" Peyton whispered. He shrugged, and they both poked their heads out from beneath the leaves of the tree, looking all around.

"Looks like it."

He reluctantly jumped down, Peyton still in his arms, and they sighed in relief when no murderous midgets in borrowed dresses lunged for them from within the shadows.

"We should DO SOMETHING," She declared with a yawn. "Besides sleep?" Ichigo clarified with a sweatdrop.

"Besides sleep."

"Like what?"

"I dunno! Let's just do SOMETHING. ...BESIDES sex, too," she said as a hopeful look crossed his face, making him droop.

"Still on your period, huh."

"Unfortunately. But even if I WASN'T, sex leads to sleep, and I don't _wanna_ sleep yet," she whined.

"Not always. It usually leads to a pause, then a second time, maybe another time AFTER THAT, and-"

Peyton held up her hand as a signal for him to just stop talking. "...It eventually leads to sleep, let's just leave it at that," she said with a sweatdrop.

He shrugged and walked down the street. "Guess we just roam around until we pass out?" She grinned. "We should roam around somewhere with WAFFLES."

* * *

Ichigo sweatdropped. "...Peyton, it's not even midnight yet."

"It'ssssss..." She whipped out her cell phone, making him sweatdrop even more. "Okay, I'm sorry, but where the HELL were you storing that?"

Peyton's temple throbbed, and she smacked him upside the head. "PERVERT! NOWHERE YOU NEED TO WORRY ABOUT!"

She then calmly checked the time. "It's eleven forty."

"Still not midnight, though. IS it?"

"It's CLOSE ENOUGH."

"Well you don't eat waffles at midnight anyways, so NEH." Peyton batted her eyelashes at him. "Considering _I'm _the one who _screws _you, I can eat waffles whenever the hell I feel like it, IIIII-chigoooo."

He opened his mouth to retaliate, but nodded instead after a few seconds. "Yep, you got me there. Waffles it is."

"And you're paying?"

"Don't I always?"

"YAY!"

"The things I do..."

"It's out of love, don't act so miserable," she said simply. He just grinned and shook his head. "You're gonna be the envy of the entire Waffle House with that dress on."

"Crap, I'm so underdressed, thanks for reminding me!"

"Sorry, I would've told you to dress up if I knew we were going to _Waffle House_!"

She sighed dramatically. "Guess I'll have to sit somewhere in the back of the joint so I don't look like a total Sloppy Jolene."

"...Sloppy Jolene?" He wondered to himself.

Peyton waved him off. "It's something my momma used to say whenever I had to wake up early to get ready for church. Before she started being a flight attendant, that is; we didn't usually go to church after that. But whenever I'd whine about having to dress up, she insisted 'Jesus won't be too dang pleased if you show up lookin' like a Sloppy Jolene just 'cause you wanted to sleep in on a Sunday!'" She explained, mocking her mom's voice perfectly.

Ichigo grinned. "Huh. Sloppy Jolene. Yuzu's gonna love calling Karin that in the morning..." She smiled, swinging her legs happily and pointing ahead dramatically.

"ONWARD! TALLY HO, ICHIGOOOO!"

"Hey, that rhymes!"

She laughed excitedly. "Holy crap, it does! Good call! ...WATCH OUT!" She said suddenly. Ichigo, thinking there was a Hollow or something, stopped dead in his tracks and looked around spastically. "WHAT, WHAT?"

"YOU ALMOST STEPPED ON THAT BANANA PEEL!"

His temple throbbed, and he stared down at her. "...Are you drunk? High?"

"NO, I've never been drunk or high, THANK YOU. EVERYONE KNOWS when you step on a banana peel, you'll trip, and you might DIE."

He sweatdropped and shook his head. "...I'll keep that in mind."

She huffed. "No you won't. You used that same tone when I mentioned letting me be on top for once, and we know how THAT ONE always works out."

"It's DEGRADING!"

"Puh-LEASE, once you try it, I bet you'll like it. Besides, how do ya think I FEEL! JUST BECAUSE I'm a woman..."

"Oh, don't play THAT CARD!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Waffles, waffles, waffles, waffles, waaaaa-fles," Peyton sang to herself, practically bouncing in her chair.

Ichigo sweatdropped. "...I think she wants the, uh, waffles? Lots of them," he informed the waitress, who sweatdropped as well.

"Waffles it is." She shook her head as she scribbled something down and headed for the kitchen, while Peyton eyed her curiously.

"Pssst, Ichigo."

Ichigo glanced around the basically empty Waffle House suspiciously as if his reply was confidential information before leaning towards her. "Yeeees, Peyton?"

"Why does she need to write down 'Lots of waffles'?"

"So she remembers, idiot."

"But we're the only ones in here, besides THAT GUY," Peyton replied, pointing to a fat guy a few booths down.

He was fast asleep, and it looked like his glasses were going to fall in his coffee any second now. They both sweatdropped, and Ichigo shrugged. "Maybe she was writing it so...sooo..."

He smirked. "She was probably writing down whether or not they should spit on your food or something."

Peyton folded her arms with a huff. "Great, thanks for that. I'm never eating waffles made by other people ever again."

Ichigo waved her off. "Oh, please. I'm sure they won't spit on your waffles. They probably think you're rich and would sue 'em for all they have. Or for all the syrup and coffee creamers they have! And THEN where will Waffle House be?"

He pointed a fork at her ominously. "WHERE...will they BE?"

She sweatdropped. "...Where do you get all this from?"

He shrugged. "I dunno. Probably prolonged exposure to you." She nodded thoughtfully, trying to craft her straw wrapper into a sword with actual weight. "Probably."

Ichigo noticed her distraction and immediately picked up his straw wrapper, trying to make it better than hers before she was done.

Peyton stuck out her tongue at him after holding up her weapon triumphantly. Ichigo's temple throbbed, and he was done three seconds later.

"Peyton, I believe that tongue-sticking-outing is considered a CHALLENGE!"

"INDEED, YOU PERCIEVE CORRECTLY GOOD SIR!"

"EN GARDE!"

"EN GARDE, INDEED!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Peyton just barely dodged his straw wrapper by hopping onto the other table, and he flipped onto the one opposite her.

They launched a flurry of strikes against each other, the other person always able to block and parry it.

The waitress and busboy on duty were watching from the sidelines with tons of sweatdrops, sweatdropping even more when Ichigo backed up into Fat Man and made his glasses FINALLY slide into his coffee.

Fat Man didn't stir, and Peyton hopped onto the bar, pointing her "sword" ominously. "Surrender now, or get your ass WHOOPED!"

He scoffed. "Tch. If anyone should surrender here, it's you. I'LL KICK _YOUR _ASS!"

"A BIG FAT BENJAMIN FRANKLIN SAYS YOU WON'T!"

"YOU'RE ON!" Ichigo shouted in reply as she just barely dodged his sword, sliding across the bar.

He used a napkin as a decoy, but she just blocked it with her sword. He hopped onto the bar stools, nearly falling off, while dodging her OWN decoy.

"KI-YAA! MUSTARD BEAMS OF DEATH!" She shouted as mustard flew everywhere. He sprayed ketchup at her, getting all over her and everything within three feet of them.

They lunged for each other, ending up crossing blades, and they both pushed back against the other wrapper as hard as they could to see whose broke first.

However, Ichigo made his fatal mistake by backing up, slipping on a banana peel, and falling on his back in a pool of ketchup.

Peyton planted a bare foot against his chest, striking a Captain Morgan Pose. "How ironic. PEYTON WINS BY WAY OF KARMA IN THE FORM OF A LETHAL BANANA PEEL! AND THE CROWD GOES WILD! AAHHHHH!" She announced triumphantly, making hissing noises to sound like they were at a concert or something.

Ichigo's temple throbbed, and he pulled her down with him as they both started laughing uncontrollably.

After a few minutes, he helped her up and they ran out of the restaurant. The waitress sweatdropped and went to throw away the waffles Peyton never ate. "Have fun cleaning that up, Joe."

* * *

"Awww, DAMMIT!" The busboy shouted as he grabbed a broom and wet rag. Suddenly, the door flew back open, and they came running back in.

Peyton took the plate of waffles delicately out of the waitress' hands, smiling innocently. "I'll bring this plate back, I promise."

Ichigo grabbed some syrup, she got some packets of butter, and they were about to head for the door when the busboy shoved the broom and rag towards them. "YOU clean up your OWN damn mess!"

Peyton sweatdropped. "...Aren't you PAID to clean up our messes?"

"NOT MESSES LIKE THAT, IDIOT!"

"Hey, I'M the only one who gets away with calling her an idiot!" Ichigo shouted back, making Peyton beam.

The couple exchanged a look, grinned, made faces at the busboy, and dashed out of the Waffle House, just barely dodging him as he tried to grab them.

They didn't stop running until they were a block away, and then they started laughing so hard they fell onto the sidewalk in a heap. They got a lot of weird looks, since they were covered in condiments and Peyton had monkey house shoes in her mouth due to her hands being full.

Now the monkeys were discarded on the sidewalk near her as she plopped the plate of waffles into her lap and drowned them in syrup.

Ichigo stabbed one of them with a fork, and she chopped it into just a measly chunk before he could eat it, making his temple throb. "...I miss the days when I was a badass Soul Reaper and you were just The Yankee Kid."

"Now I'm the BADASS Yankee Kid who can catch up to her Badass Soul Reaper boyfriend whenever she pleases," she announced proudly, getting her fork and driving it into the rest of the waffle she had just chopped.

"That was the most epic straw fight in history."

"Of course it was, it was OUR straw fight."

"Indeed."

Peyton made a noise of contentment as she ate some more of the waffles. "Mmm. This is, like...better than sex."

Ichigo sweatdropped. "I dunno whether to be amused or extremely offended."

* * *

"Amused. Sex is good, too."

"Sex is _great_."

"AWESOMESAUCE."

"Yes, awesomesauce, definitely."

"Why thank you!"

"HEY! Sex is a teamwork kinda thing, don't take all the credit!" He said defensively, making her giggle. "That actually makes sense. THAT'S why they refer to it as 'scoring'!"

Ichigo laughed too, and she smirked. "Now, _just _because you referred to it as teamwork, every time we finish and we lay there, I'm gonna pat you on the back and say 'Good job, team' or 'Better luck next time'."

"It'll ALWAYS be 'Good job, team,' Peyton, what're you talking about? I _am_ the King Stud, after all, you'll never be unsatisfied. Guaranteed."

"Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that."

"HEY!"

Peyton just hopped up, slipped on her shoes, and ate some more waffles. "C'mon, King Stud, we better get off the sidewalk."

He sweatdropped. "Peyton, you're covered in mustard and ketchup. I highly doubt getting your dress dirty should be your main concern at this point."

"Oh, it's not thaaaat," she drawled as she strolled ahead of him.

"Then what is it? I just sat doooown," he whined as he continued to sit on the sidewalk defiantly.

"Because there's a colony of fire ants right by your hot orange ass."

"WHAT? Oh, chyeah right, like I'm falling for- ...Ow...Ow...OWOWOWOWOW! PEEEYTOOOON!"

"TOLD YA, KING STUD!"

"STOP LAUGHING, DAMMIT, THIS ISN'T FUNNY!"


	91. Torture

**Me: BACK AGAIN! This chapp's kinda short, but oh well. The next one won't be!**

**Ichigo: Who cares? (whines) Awwww, my poor ASSSSS!**

**Me and Rukia: (dull tones) WHO CARES? (High-five)**

**Ichigo: (Grumble) ...Just get on with the fucking cakes.**

**Me: I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK! (Isshin tears of joy) KOOOOON!**

**Kon: (Wheels out Cake Number One) RIGHT HERE, MISTRESS MANDY!**

**Me: Ahhh, if only ALL the characters were this obedient. (Glares at Ichigo)**

**Ichigo: (Shrugs) I can't control Peyton any more than I can control the weather. Sorry.**

**Me: I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT- ...Ugh, nevermind. **

**(Cake Number One is from Ishihackaloogie (aka Erin with the Lemons XD). It's a cake with Peyton and Ichigo sticking their tongues out at each other and a waitress sweatdropping, and the waffles in front of the two idiots.)**

**Rukia: Wow, those look like real waffles!**

**Me and Ichigo: (Rejoicing) THEY ARE! WHOO-HOOOOOO! CAKE NUMBER TWO, KOOOOON!**

**Kon: AYE-AYE, MANDY! (Wheels out Cake Number Two, from maxride4life. Well, TECHNICALLY it's a giant cookie with "congratulations on 90 effing chapters" written on it in bright pink and neon green icing But it's awesomesauce enough to be considered an epic CAKE.)**

**Kon: (Tosses Ichigo a Peyton plushie that came with it) Here's your girlfriend, travel-sized for your convenience!**

**Ichigo: Why would i need that when i've got the real thing?**

**Kon: (Beams innocently)Does that mean i can have it?**

**Me and Rukia: (Sweatdrop as he drop-kicks Kon into a wall) ...Ummm...Who's gonna wheel out the cakes?**

**Me: (Looks at Rukia)**

**Rukia: (Looks at Ichigo)**

**Ichigo: (Looks at Carmen SanDiego)**

**Carmen: ...FINE, DAMMIT! I DIDN'T COME OUT FROM UNDER YUZU'S BED FOR THIS!**

**Me and Ichigo: ...So THAT'S where she was!**

**Rukia: (Sweatrops) Is this some kind of 90s Kid pop-culture reference of which i know nothing about?**

**Me and Ichigo: YEP! ^_^ **

**Me: CARMEN, GET YOUR MYSTERIOUS ASS IN GEAR!**

**Carmen: Alright, al-RIGHT! (Stomps in and wheels in Cake Number 3. It's from Squee! It's a 90-story-high, blue, awesomesauce/chocolate cake that says 'HAPPY 90 CHAPTERS!' in green frosting.)**

**Ichigo: That looks SO yummy.**

**Me: Indeed. CAKE NUMBER FOUR!**

**Carmen: (Flinches at loudness level) NO NEED TO YELL, DAMMIT, I'M RIGHT HERE! (Goes to fetch Cake Number Four)**

**Me: (Stage-whispers to Ichigo) Whatever happened to the crappy puns from her games?**

**Ichigo: Who knows, Mandy? Who knows.**

**Carmen: (Wheels out Cake Number Four) HERE. Brats.**

**Me, Ichigo, and Rukia: I HEARD THAT!**

**(Cake Number Four is from Reason to Scatter. It's an angels' food cake(Yay, irony. XD) depicting Ichigo running down the sidewalk, tiny fire ants falling off him, and Peyton is keeled over laughing.)**

**Ichigo: ...This is a dark day in history...that will never stop haunting me.**

**Me: ...Oh SHUT UP.**

**Carmen: ...You got attacked by fire ants? How...whimpy.**

**Ichigo: HEY, WATCH IT! YOU MAY BE CARMEN SANDIEGO, BUT I _WILL _KICK YOUR ASS!**

**Carmen: (Pouts) ...I'll just go get the next cake then. (Wheels out Cake Number Five. It's from Mer. Actually, we lied. It's not a cake. It's...FOUR GIANT TWINKIES! One for Ichigo, one for Rukia, one for Kon, and one for MASTER MANDY! They all look like the person who each is for. Accompanied is a note: Enjoy eating each other's twinky heads off!)**

**Ichigo: (Looks around suspiciously before snatching Kon's and locking it in his safe with all the other Cake Stashes of his.)**

**Me: ...Oh, that's so evil. (Anime tears of joy) I'm s-s-so PROUD OF YOUUUU!**

**Ichigo: (Sweatdrops) ...Carmen, get some more cakes out here before she sobs all over me.**

**Carmen: There are none.**

**Ichigo: ...DAMMIT.**

**Me: (Wipes tears from my eyes with randomly-placed Kleenex) Oh well. Thanks so much for the reviews, and treats, and thanks to another new reviewer, hollownature. Apparently I'm one of the rare author who produces author notes that she takes time to read! Glad they entertain you, and I'm glad you like my fic! And thanks to reviewers I'm already familiar with, such as Liz (Who's gonna have to warn me 7 days beforehand so i can spam her story/stories XD), Erin (With whom i have too many perverted insiders to count at the moment, and still growing), Josie-chan (The Great Bendy Straw of the Mighty Google Clan XD), shadowgouf (who-. **

**Carmen: HURRY UP, DAMMIT, I'M INTERESTED IN THIS! (Scrolling down and reading fic)**

**Me: ...(Sweatdrops) And all of the people Carmen didn't let me have a chance to name. **

**Carmen: SHUT UP, I CAN'T READ AND LISTEN AT ONCE!**

**Ichigo: ...How ironic.**

**Rukia: ENJOOOOY!**

**

* * *

**

"Ichigo?"

"WHAT."

"...You want some medical attention?" She offered.

He folded his arms across his chest moodily, glaring at the ground. "NO." "Fine." "Fine." "Fine."

"FINE."

Peyton rolled her eyes and patted his shoulder. "Ichigo Kurosaki, I think with time, and...a little counseling...you'll eventually be able to move on and bring yourself closure from your encounter with the Dreaded Karakura Fire Ants."

Ichigo's scowl deepened as she started giggling to herself. "Yeah, laugh it up all you can. I HAVE SO MANY BITES ON MY ASS RIGHT NOW, YOU JUST DON'T EVEN _KNOW_!"

She sweatdropped. "Nor do I want to, honestly. I don't think your ass is so hot anymore. It's just...mauled by tiny ant pinchers."

"How would you know? You haven't seen it in its current condition." He glanced at her innocently. "Any chance we'll be changing that?"

"Not on your damn LIFE. I'm on my period and you just got attacked by fire ants. The last thing EITHER of us need is more misery. And I hate to say it, but sex would DEFINITELY fall under the category of misery tonight."

"Irony at its best, huh, dumbass?" Hiyori called from nowhere, making them both jump. Lisa strolled into their line of vision, and they saw a flash of Hiyori's jumpsuit jacket as she hopped down from a random wall.

"What're you guys doing here?" Ichigo grumbled.

Peyton sweatdropped. "What, are Vizards not allowed to go wherever the hell they want?" Lisa eyed them strangely. "You know, usually when people put condiments on themselves, you're supposed to be naked unerneath it and lick it all off veeeerrryyy slowly..."

Ichigo turned red as Peyton snapped her fingers cheerfully. "Oh YEAH! You gave me that one, I think!"

"THE HELL? YOU ACTUALLY _READ_ THE CRAP SHE GAVE YOU?"

"Yeeep. Remember Tuesday?"

"Which Tuesday?"

"THE Tuesday."

"What the hell does tha-..." He trailed off, staring into space thoughtfully before grinning like a perverted idiot.

"Oh. THAT Tuesday. I like Tuesdays."

Hiyori rolled her eyes, and Peyton pointed to Lisa. "Thank HER CRAP OFFERINGS for that." Lisa cleaned her glasses impatiently.

"I'm waiting. Obviously a thank-you's more than necessary. You might want to take a cold shower soon, Ichigo."

"I'M NOT EVEN-"

"No, I mean when she reads the chapter AFTER that. Because afterwards it's going to be all you can think about. I'll let your imagination wander," Lisa said simply.

Peyton and Hiyori sweatdropped as Ichigo shifted feet anxiously, angling his legs awkwardly. "...Great, THANKS Lisa, it's ALREADY all I can think about."

Peyton smiled innocently. "Oh, here's something to think about."

"What?"

"There's a few ants you didn't kill, and they're crawling into your hair right now."

* * *

"WHAT? WHERE, HELP ME GET 'EM OUT!"

"HOLD STILL THEN, DAMMIT!" She shouted back as he started running in tiny spastic circles, making it nearly impossible for her to try and get the ants out of his hair.

She laughed nervously. "Oh, my bad. No ants."

"What?"

"Just a cockroach."

"WHAAAAT? GRAB A SHOE AND KILL IT!"

"NO WAY! YOU _KNOW_ I HATE COCKROACHES!"

"PEYTON, YOU'VE HAD A TARANTULA CRAWLING ON YOUR BACK, I THINK YOU CAN HANDLE A GODDAMN COCKROACH IN MY HAIR!"

"ARE YOU KIDDING? COCKROACHES _NEVER_ _DIE_, ICHIGOOO!"

"GET. IT. OUT!"

The two Vizards watched them run around, Ichigo now chasing after Peyton where it had been the other way around just seconds ago.

Finally, Hiyori shoved the sleeves of her jacket up before whipping off her sandal and smacking the back of Ichigo's head with as much force as possible.

Peyton winced sympathetically as he skidded into a rather thick and old tree, shaking her head slowly as the trunk shuddered and leaned further to the right. "...Lisa?"

"Yes?"

"I don't think he'll find out about the secrets in that next chapter you mentioned tonight," she said woefully as he started groaning.

"Dammit, Hiyori, THAT EFFING HURT! ...And Peyton, you're on your period ANYWAYS, so I was already screwed!"

"So WHAT if I'm on my period? That just means no outright SEX, it doesn't mean I can't TURN YOU ON!"

"...True."

"Mm-hmm."

"...Peyton?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I'll take that medical attention now."

"I'm tired."

"I'M INJURED! WHAT KIND OF GIRLFRIEND ARE YOU?"

Peyton's temple throbbed, and she looked to Hiyori. She stared at the redheaded human for a real long time before grinning evilly and handing her the sandal. "I hope you know how much of a priviledge this is. I don't hand over my sandal to JUST ANYBODY."

Ichigo staggered backward, turning dangerously pale. "No...No...NOOOO, NOT THE SANDAL!"

"Really didn't think it through, DIDYA ICHIGOOO?"

"I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!"

"Oh, I do. Trust me, this hurts me more than it hurts you!" She said as she tackled him to the ground and raised the sandal.

She paused and laughed maniacally. "Well, no, it's gonna hurt you a HELLUVA lot more!"

"NAAAAOOOO!"

Hiyori and Lisa sweatdropped. "...What the hell is 'nao'?"

"It's a cry of despair, that's what."

"...Ah. Indeed."

"How did the cockroach even GET THERE?" Hiyori wondered thoughtfully as they continued to watch Ichigo get owned by Peyton and The Sandal of Doom.

Lisa shrugged. "Who knows?"

_**

* * *

**_

_**AN ****HOUR LATER...**_

"Ichigooo?"

"YES, Peyton?"

"Are you still mad?"

"I was never MAD at you, how could I get mad at YOU?" Peyton beamed. "Mad is too calm compared to the kind of pissing off YOU do to me sometimes."

Her face fell into a glare, making him smirk, and she put five extra pumps of peroxide on his rag when he wasn't looking. "Heeere, lemme HELP YOU."

_**THWACK!**_

"OW! DAMMIT, I _NEED_ MY ASS!"

"Ooops, sorry, guess you put too much peroxide on here! How clumsy of you. It must be because you're so tall. Scientific studies have shown that giants are clumsier."

"Obviously those scientific studies didn't factor in redhead American girls. Tell me, are all American redheads as clumsy as you, or is it just a Peyton Cullen Thing?"

Her eye twitched menacingly. "...It's a Peyton Cullen Thing. Kinda like you being an IDIOTIC OAF is an ICHIGO KUROSAKI THING!"

"That's redundant, y'know. Idiotic oaf."

She huffed and continued to sit on the counter and wait as he tended to his poor ant-bite-covered ass. "I KNEW I shouldn't have helped you in English with all that grammar stuff."

"Peyton?"

"WHAT."

"Guess what?"

"What."

"I love you, even though you torture me so much."

"I love you too, even though you torture ME so much," she replied grudgingly. He kissed the place where her neck and jaw met, making her stomach flip as usual, and she closed her eyes briefly.

"Oh yeah, I'm pure torture. 'Cause I'm just THAT SEXY."

"No, you're tending to your ant-bite-covered ass while I'm like two feet away from you. THAT'S the true meaning of torture, I just ate waffles about an hour ago," she replied dully, making him sweatdrop.

"...Whatever happened to 'Ichigo, we've seen each other naked, not very much to be shy about after THAT'?"

"Oh, I'm not shy, I'm just SO not tapping that any time soon."

Ichigo rolled his eyes and waved her off. "Go to bed, it's past your bedtime."

"Yes, MOM," she muttered with a yawn as she hopped off the bathroom sink and trudged off. He smacked her ass, and she barely bit back a giggle. "Would your mom do THAT, Peyton?"

"...You know, I can honestly say no, I don't think she would."

"AWESOMESAUCE."

She rolled her eyes, and it wasn't until after she was drifting off to sleep that she realized she had probably got ketchup and mustard EVERYWHERE by this point.

Peyton shrugged and rolled over. "Noooot _myyyy _problem," she said in a sing-song voice.

"What?"

"NOTHING, just...I LOVE YOU!"

Her temple throbbed as she heard a clatter and him muttering frantically, "Oh shit, what'd she do NOW?"


	92. Morning Potty Breaks

**Me: BACK AGAIN!**

**Ichigo and Carmen: (Mock enthusiasm) Yaaaayyyy.**

**Me: OH! Right! I would like to credit my inspiration for randomly adding Carmen SanDiego (minus playing the game and all that when i was younger) to TheSaeSeries. She's on deviant art, look her up if you know what Fatal Frame and Rule of Rose are, her comics are HILARIOUS on the subject. **

**Ichigo: MOVING ON.**

**Rukia: Why would you WANT to move on, considering how in this chapp you-**

**Everyone: SPOILER ALERT, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, RUKIA!**

**Rukia: (Cue Poor Innocent Kicked Puppy look) ...Sorry.**

**Carmen: Aww, it's okay! ^_^**

**Me and Ichigo: DON'T fall for THAT! ...It's a facade.**

**Ichigo: FALLACY, I SAY!**

**Rukia: Do you even know what that means?**

**Ichigo: I'm not ENTIRELY sure, but it makes me think of hens for whatever reason...And Virginia...**

**Everyone: (Massive sweatdrop)**

**Me: JUST WHEEL OUT THE CAKES! KOOOON!**

**Carmen: He's still recuperating.**

**Me: ...Oookay, YOU go get the cakes! NOOOOWW!**

**Carmen: On it. (Hollers over shoulder) WHEEL 'EM IN!**

**George W. Bush: (Comes running in spastically with tray with Cake Number One. It's from Sierra, and it's a cake shaped like a flip flop with a giant-ass ant on it with the words: The Dreaded Karakura Fire Ants, while also depicting Peyton kicking Ichigo's currently NOT hot orange ass)**

**Me: (Laughs at Ichigo's fury) It's a PURE MASTERPIECE!**

**Rukia: (Peers at Former Prez) ...Who the hell are YOU?**

**George: ...ME? Whyyy, I am George Dubyah Bush! Former President of these United States!**

**Everyone: (Sweatdrop) ...This fic takes place in Karakura, Japan.**

**George: ...Oh...My, uh...NO ONE INFORMED MEEEHHH!**

**Me: (Sighs and shakes head) Whatever. CAKE NUMBER TWO, NOWWW!**

**George: YES MA'AM! (Wheels out Cake Number Two, from Josie-Chan. It's a 3 yards by 3 yards 6-layer chocolate cake with Reece's on top. The top of the cake says "ALL HAIL THE GREAT AWSOMESAUCE, FUNNY, AND PERVY AUTHOR". She also sent poor Kon a first-aid kit and a small cake that says "STOP BEING AN IDIOT AND MAYBE U WONT GET HURT U DUMBASS!")**

**Me: (Sniffles dramatically) S...So BEAUTIFUL!**

**Carmen: (Looking at reflection) ...Yes. Yes, I know.**

**Ichigo: (Sweatdrop) ...Dubyah, please just roll out the next cake. NOW!**

**George: INDEED! (Wheels out Cake Number Three, from...Ooops, lied again. It's no CAKE, it's from Mer, and it's a... a giant HD TV ! But it isn't a regular TV. It's completely made of starbursts, yet it works like a regular TV! Playing on its screen is when Hiyori gives Peyton her sandal. Peyton(the Yankee of Justice!, as Mer referred to her) then attacks Ichigo with the sandal of death("you are one amazing sandal", the subtitles say with a Anime Smilie Face).**

**Me: NAAOOO! (Falls to knees) MER, I SHALL CATCH YOU NEXT TIME ON THAT REQUEST FOR THE CAKE-WHEELING! I am sure we can...work it out... (Looking at George with my "evil plan" face)**

**Ichigo: (Pats his shoulder) Nice knowin' ya, bud.**

**George: (Gulps) Uhhh, I'll...go...GET NUMBER THREE! OR FOUR! WHATEVER YOU PREFER, MISTRESS MANDY!**

**Carmen: (Sweatdrops) Mistress Mandy? He's been hanging around Bill Clinton too long...**

**Everyone: OHHHH DANG!**

**George: (Wheels in Cake Number Four, from austmadman. It's a double-layer Boston mud cake covered in custard)**

**Me: I'd ALSO like to say thank you to austmadman for his review, he's a new reviewer and his review made me laugh XD. Actually, all your reviews do, but STILL. Also, thank you to ShatterTheHeavens, who i don't THINK has reviewed before, and AnimeAddict127, who provided our last cake! ALSO, I'd like to correct an error from before. Hollownature...is a dude. MY BAD! **

**Ichigo: FAIL.**

**Me: Shut your ASS!**

**Carmen: Isn't it shut your FACE?**

**Me: Exactly. ON TO THE LAST TWO CAKES! NAAAAAOOOOWWW!**

**George: YES INDEEDY, MISTRESS MANDY!**

**Me: (Temple throb) This Mistress Mandy thing, ain't gonna fly. Sorry.**

**George: (Anime tears) But...But...All your OTHER cake-wheeler-outers get to call you Mistress Mandy! THAT'S NOT FA-A-A-AAAIIR!**

**Me: (Temple throb times two) ...Just. Get. The. DAMN CAKE!**

**George: (Wheels it out hurriedly) SORRY!**

**(Cakes/Treats Numbers Five, Six, and Seven are from hollownature. There's maple sugar fudge for me, dark chocolate fudge to Ichigo (also to help Peyton get over her "gift" faster) and rocky road fudge (with marshmallows)in the shape of Chappy the Beloved Rabbit to Rukia.)**

**Me: Thanks again! I TOLD you I'd check my PMs to make sure I remembered those! ^_^**

**Ichigo: You want an effing prize?**

**Me: (Sweatdrops and points to millions of cakes) ...What the hell do you call THESE?**

**Ichigo: Well...Uh...**

**Carmen: (Eyeing goodies greedily) LAST CAKE, HURRY IT UP!**

**Georgie Porgie: YES MISS SANDIEGO! (Wheels out Cake Number Eight, from AnimeAddict127. It's a 5-layer German chocolate cheesecake. On the first layer is Peyton singing "Not MYYY problem!" while covered in condiments. On the second layer is Ichigo freaking out. And at the top a solid chocolate flip flop sprinkled with Awesomesauce!)**

**Me: YAAAY!**

**Ichigo: (Huffs) Stupid condiments. That was the weirdest night of my LIFE. Sleeping in my bed was the weirdest! I mean-**

**Carmen: (Waves him off) Yeah yeah, no one cares. ENJOY!**

**Rukia: (Narrows eyes) Ms. SanDiego, I believe you just stole my line.**

**Carmen: Looks like i DID!**

**Ichigo, Me, and George: (Eat popcorn and watch catfight that ensues) Carmen SanDiego Versus Rukia Kuchiki. Battle OF THE AGES! ENJOOOOY!**

**Carmen and Rukia: HEY, THAT'S MY LINE!**

**Rukia: Bitch, I don't care WHO you are, i will CUUUUT YOUUUU!**

* * *

"Peeeeytooon?"

"Hmmm?"

"I'm gonna kiiiilllll yooouuu," Ichigo replied in an innocent tone. She simply smirked, eyes still closed. "I got ketchup and mustard _everywhere_, didn't I?"

"Oh HELL YES you did."

She sighed and slipped her hand further underneath the pillow, burying her face as well, and tried to fall back asleep. "Can you kill me in the morning?"

"Morning's already passed, according to Rukia. She came in here, took one look at my bed, and said Yuzu was gonna kill me for missing breakfast AND making her have to wash my sheets again so soon."

"Why don't _you_ wash them?" That stupid question was almost instantly followed by a "Nevermind," as she remembered that one time he tried to kiss major ass by loading the washer to give her less chores.

Let's just say she almost drowned in bubbles that day.

Peyton nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard a strange _**WHOOOOOSH**_ noise. "ICHIGO, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"

"...Reddi-Whip," he replied as if it were obvious, his mouth full.

Peyton sweatdropped. "...Charming."

"Heeey, guess what?"

"Do I have to guess?"

"No."

"Okay. What?"

"I was thinking..."

"Should I be afraid?"

"Probably."

She shrugged, grasping the air for the whipped cream can after hearing her stomach grumble for it. "Fiiinne."

"Weeelll, Lisa talking about condiments the other night-"

"Got you hungry?"

"Noooo."

Peyton huffed. He sounded WAY too sure of himself. His hand wrapped around her wrist, leaving her palm up in mid-air.

"Awww, WHAT?" She asked, turning onto her back to see what the hell he was doing.

Ichigo simply smirked at her, brushing the hair off the left side of her neck, and she jumped yet again when he sprayed some Reddi-Whip across the hollow of her neck.

Peyton eyed him suspiciously. "Are you doing what I think you're doing?"

"Probably."

She sighed heavily as he bent down to her neck. "Ichigooo."

"Whaaat?"

"I have to pee."

* * *

He sweatdropped. "...Are you kidding me? You seriously have to pee? SERIOUSLY? RIGHT NOW?"

"I said it, didn't I? You KNOW I always have to pee when I wake up!"

"Can't you hold it for _just_ a little while?" He whined, practically bouncing in place. Peyton sweatdropped, and he took her lack of movement as a response.

_Times like these, I really wonder if my bladder is just out to TOTALLY fuck m__e over,_ She thought moodily as he worked his magic. Her resolve weakened even more as he nibbled the now-whipped-cream-less hollow of her neck, and it was all she could do to not moan.

If she moaned, they'd both be done for, and so would her bladder after a few minutes.

His mouth was trailing down even further while his hand made a trail down her whole side, pausing to knead the skin where her lower stomach and hip met. She groaned and sat up miserably, making him strike the Ultimate Depressed Pose.

"Ichigooo, I can't help it, I gotta PEEEE! As in NOW!"

"Oh come ON! That's so not fair!"

"OH, LIKE _I_ THOUGHT IT _WAS_!" She snapped as she practically ran to the bathroom.

Peyton shut the bathroom door and locked it behind her. "Stupid Ichigo, trying to trick me into making my bladder suffer. No way. Whipped cream can wait, urine can NOT."

She wasn't even done peeing yet before Ichigo knocked on the bathroom door. She sighed. "Ichigo, you can wait a few minutes!"

"No, not that! _I_ have to pee now!"

Peyton paused, a slow and deliberate grin spreading onto her face. "...Oh, REALLY? YOU have to pee this time? How ironic!"

"Yeah, bitter irony at its best, now come on and open the door already!"

"Oops, can't, I'm on the toilet right now. SORRY!"

He knocked again as she flushed the toilet, and she took as much time as possible to wash her hands. Peyton then knocked on the door right back at him, and he groaned. "Come ON, lemme in! This is hazardous to my health!"

"...Hmm...Ya know...I think I'll just take a shower while I'm in here. Might as well, right?" She said cheerfully.

"NOOOO!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU, THE WATER'S RUNNING!" Peyton called out in an almost musical tone as she turned the shower on full-blast.

"PEYTON ALICIA CULLEN, LEMME IN OR I'LL NEVER KISS YOU AGAIN!"

She snorted a laugh. "Chyeah right, LIKE THAT'LL HAPPEN!"

"...Okay, caught me, but PLEEE-E-E-EASE LEMME IN! IF YOU LOVED ME, YOU'D LET ME IN THE BATHROOM!"

Peyton simply continued to wriggle out of her dress. "Oh, I love you, just...hmm...think of this as...MENTAL STRENGTHENING!"

She could practically see the sweatdrop sliding down his face. "...Mental strengthening. How about DESTROYING MY BLADDER?"

"Well, that's not MY problem."

"Is too! I'll never have kids, and sex will SUCK!"

"Weeelll, there are always alternatives to solve THAT problem. ...Alternatives for ME, anyway."

"...Wait...WAIT...WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"

Peyton just started humming extremely loud as she hopped into the shower, and she heard a resonating groan from behind the door, making her grin.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FORTY ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Oh my God...Oh my God...OH MY GOD, WHAT COULD YOU _POSSIBLY_ BE DOING IN THERE?" He shouted at the door, banging on it.

No answer.

Ichigo sighed heavily and continued pacing outside the bathroom. Everyone else had gone grocery shopping, even Nel, so at least there were no WITNESSES to his misery.

Then again, they could come back any second. That thought made him pound on the door some more. "C'mon, Peytoooon," He whined, banging his head against the wood miserably.

He was NEVER making fun of her bladder again. Ever. For now on, as soon as she said anything REMOTELY close to "I have to pee," he was clearing a path for her and letting her make a break for it.

...But at least that whipped cream tasted _really _good. Ichigo sighed for the millionth time and pounded so hard on the door that it almost flew open.

"DAMMIT, LITTLE KIDS IN AFRICA WOULD REEEALLY ENJOY ALL THAT WATER YOU'RE WASTING!"

After she didn't answer him, AGAIN, Ichigo decided it was time to break the lock. He ran into his room, grabbed one of Peyton's _many _bobby pins lying all in his bed from last night (he knew they were there because nearly every time he rolled over one was stabbing him in the back or some other impossible area he couldn't pluck them out of), and ran back to the door.

He crouched in front of it, and after about eight tries, he threw the bobby pin down with a grunt. "Bahhh, SCREW IT."

_**BANG.**_

_**BANG.**_

_**BANG.**_

_**BAN- **_"SUCCESS!" _**THUD.**_

Ichigo stared down at the fallen door, which he had his foot planted on triumphantly. "I can fix you later," He informed the object before stepping over it with authority.

He flipped up the seat of the toilet and sighed with relief as he...well, relieved himself. He had just finished washing his hands when he got a "brilliant" idea, a slow mischievous grin spreading onto his face.

He sidestepped Peyton's dress and whatnot and slid back the curtain before hopping in. "And here you thought letting me in would be a bad- ...WHAT THE FUCK?"

Ichigo fell out of the shower, mumbling incoherently, while the curtain was slid back again. "...Oh. Hey there, Kurosaki!" Shinji greeted cheerily while wrapping a towel around himself.

Ichigo sat there fuming, and Shinji just grinned even bigger. "If that was your way of trying to stop me from considering Peyton my beloved for the time being, you failed. Miserably."

"P...P...PEEYTOOOON, YOU BRAAAAT!" He bellowed.

* * *

_**DOWNSTAIRS**__**...**_

Peyton grinned, bouncing excitedly as she made her way around the Kurosaki kitchen once she heard the _**THUD **_of a door falling to the floor.

That could only mean one thing: Her evil plan was WORKING! FOR ONCE! _It's only a matter of time before he starts shouting_, She thought happily.

Peyton brightened even further as her eyes landed on a box of Fruit Loops, and she gasped (a lot like Isshin, which made her laugh) as she grabbed it like a crazy person.

She Happy Danced her way over to where the bowls were located before shrugging and eating it out of the box. "Screw it, I'm not sick or anything."

She had barely eaten ANY of her handful when she heard Ichigo bellow her name, followed by "YOU BRAAAAT!".

Peyton jumped and took the cereal box with her as she bounded up the stairs, laughing maniacally until she was within his earshot.

She tried not to laugh at his expression. He was sprawled out on the floor of his bathroom, near the kicked-down door, his face paler than her obese Aunt Rosie's legs (which was REALLY saying something).

Shinji waved at her casually. "Hello, my love!" Ichigo's scowl deepened, and Peyton just smiled. "Hi, Shinji. I take it you were successful?"

"Indeed I was! The look on his face was PRICELESS, I wish I had a waterproof camera-..." He trailed off, a mockingly innocent expression on his face as he smiled sweetly at Ichigo.

"Oh WAIT. I _do _have a waterproof camera!" The Vizard tossed Peyton a camera, and she tucked it in her pocket.

She'd save THAT little pick-me-up for later. For now, she was worried Ichigo would strangle her. Or Shinji.

Probably both, one with each hand.

His head swiveled to look at her. "...How? How the HELL?" He asked in disbelief. Peyton made a clicking noise with her tongue. "Welll...You see, what HAD HAPPENED waaaas..."

_**

* * *

**__**FLASHBACK****...**_

_Peyton hummed some more, totally savoring the sweet sounds of Ichigo groaning, whining, and all-around bitching about his "poor bladder, IT'S STARTING TO GET DISTENDED, PEYTON!"._

_She had just finished shaving and was rinsing out her hair one more time when she got soap in her eye. "Ouch! DAAAAMMMIT," Peyton whined as she rinsed out her eye after hurriedly changing the water to cold. _

_It was around the time her eye started stinging in protest to the WATER that she realized she forgot to grab a towel._

"_DOUBLE daaaammmit," She hissed, looking through one eye to stretch towards the closet (which, thankfully, was nearby)._

_Peyton had just grabbed one and exclaimed "Ah-HA!" when Shinji promptly fell inside the bathroom through the window. _

_She quickly wrapped herself up, practically diving out of the shower to keep the towel from getting all soggy and annoying. "What the HELL, man?" She hissed, wiping her eye with a random washrag._

_Shinji brushed himself off before noticing her and turning just slightly red, but mostly grinning. "...Oh, why HELLO, Peyton! ...Sorry, I thought this was his room."_

"_Liar."_

"_Well, I thought it was **A **room, I heard him whining around this area, so I just kinda climbed through."_

_She sweatdropped. "...Naturally."_

_Ichigo banged on the door again. "PEYTON, DID YOU DROWN OR SOMETHING?" Shinji was about to shout some smart-ass comment back, and Peyton nearly threw herself at him._

_She covered his mouth with her hand and shook her head quickly. "SHE'S GOTTA LOVE LIKE WOE! GIRL'S GOTTA LOVE LIKE WOE! BA-DA-DA! ...OB-LA-DI, OB-LA-DA, LIFE GOES ONNNN, LA! LALA HOW THE LIFE GO-ES ONNN!" She belted out, not knowing anything better to do. How The Ready Set reminded her of The Beatles was beyond even her comprehension._

_Ichigo whined some more, and she sighed in relief before uncovering Shinji's mouth, grinning evilly at him. "I have an idea..." Peyton rifled through the cluttered closet shelves before finding what she wanted._

"_AWESOMESAUCE! I **knew **he hadn't realized this was still in here!" She declared proudly as she handed him a waterproof camera._

_Peyton looked at him, then the shower pointedly, and he grinned. "Ohhh, I think I get it. ABSOLUTELY."_

_**END ****FLASHBACK...**_

* * *

"So you SEE, it was mere tomfoolery!" Peyton concluded brightly, smiling an innocent and dazzling smile.

Ichigo sweatdropped even more. "...Tomfoolery?"

Her temple throbbed. "AFTER THAT WHOLE EXPLANATION, THAT'S ALL YOU UNDERSTOOD?"

He rolled his eyes, then looked at Shinji, eyes narrowing. "You have exactly fifteen seconds to get out."

"Now THAT'S not kind hospitality!" Shinji protested.

"OUT, DUMBASS!"

"FINE, but ONLY because I FEEL like leaving," The Vizard muttered, moving to remove his towel.

Ichigo and Peyton both jumped back, throwing up their hands to cover their eyes spastically. "KEEP IT, KEEP IT, KEEP IT!"

Shinji smirked. "Fine! Damn, no need to shriek like little VIRGINS."

"...Oh HA HA HA!" They replied sarcastically as he went down the stairs, and he waved in acknowledgement before sliding down the banister. Ichigo and Peyton sweatdropped. "...I...am NEVER sliding down that again."

"Hell, I'm never TOUCHING that again!"


	93. Social Distortion & Surveying

**Me: ...Ah. Guys, you have no IDEA how tired i am with my allergies acting up for the first time in years! I know this is short, and I don't know how good it is since my eyes are almost welded shut by the AFOREMENTIONED DAMN ALLERGIES!**

**Ichigo: (Smiles innocently) That's fine, Mandy. Your chapps always suck ass!**

**Me: ...GAG HIM.**

**Carmen: AYE-AYE! (Knocks him out with some random brick)**

**Me: How did she...**

**Rukia: (Shakes head solemnly) Some things are better left unknown, Mandy.**

**Me: (Nods) Indeed. ANYWAY. Sorry for not mentioning the cakes and reviews and such, I'll get them all on the next author's note. But i WOULD like to thank specifically in advance: hollownature (it WAS long, but thanks so much, it's awesomesauce!), animelover1993 aka Liz (I NOW UNDERSTAND YOUR PAIN, i too have been delusional for some parts of the day thanks to my narcotics!), Erin- Who, I'm happy to announce, has just found out her mom's tumor was NOT cancerous! ...Sadly, Erin has to have jaw surgery...around her birthday...AROUND THANKSGIVING. **

**Ichigo: (Snickers) FAIL.**

**Me: WHO WOKE THAT ASSHOLE UP?**

**Everyone: NOT MEEE!**

**Me: (Sighs and rubs temples) The THINGS us FANFIC AUTHORS have to DEAL WITH! ...(Smiles innocently) ANYWAY. I just really wanted to get a chapter out by midnight tonight so I could dedicate it to my granddad, who died four years ago today. We love and miss ya.**

**...Hopefully I didn't just dedicate PURE SHIT to him XD. Enjoy!**

_**

* * *

**__**TWO ****HOURS LATER...**_

"Ahh. I get it now."

"Mm-hmm."

"Tomfoolery."

"At its best. The Just-Finished-Mother-Nature's-Weekly-Hell kind of tomfoolery."

"Indeed."

They both started laughing as Peyton sat up, looking around before shrugging and grabbing one of his shirts. "Damn your admittedly convenient tallness," She muttered as she slipped it on and it almost immediately went to her knees.

Ichigo just grinned. "Maybe you're just short, did you ever think of that?" Peyton's temple throbbed, and she pointed at him accusingly. "Then that would mean everyone ELSE is short, because you're taller than almost everyone ELSE, too!"

"Exactly, so you're not the only one, see?"

"EXACTLY. I'm CONFORMED!" She wailed, flopping onto his bed dramatically. He rolled his eyes and put on the shirt he had been wearing earlier, which was discarded nearby. "The day you become conformed is the day I eat Brussels sprouts. Which will be NEVER."

They both shuddered at the thought. _Ew...BRUSSELS SPROUTS. _She hadn't had to eat those since she was five, and that was _one_ time. Half a plate full of them, though...

After having to clean up the bathroom a few hours later, mom and dad never made her eat the nauseating veggies again.

Peyton sighed and flopped back onto his bed, her head against his stomach. "Hey."

"Huh?"

"Your stomach makes weird noises."

Ichigo sweatdropped. "Not any weirder than yours." "You can't prove that."

"Can too."

"Can not."

"Can too."

"Can not."

"Can too!"

"Prove it then."

"Well...Prove to me that I _can't_ prove it!" There was silence at that one, and Peyton turned her head to look over and up at him. "...Okay, you got me there."

Ichigo grinned and shook his head, playing with her left shirt sleeve. He started humming, and Peyton grinned as she sang, "Just put me in a wheelchair, and get me on a plane,-

He grinned too. "Hurry hurry hurry, before I go insane-"

"I can't control my fingers, I can't control my brain-"

"No no oh oh ohhh!" They sang together before they heard a very deliberate _**CRRRREAK**_ of Ichigo's door.

"NEL'S TURN NOW!" Nel sang to her own little tune, latching herself onto them with one arm around each of their necks happily.

"GAH!"

* * *

"H-Hey, Nel!" Peyton choked out, making the blue-haired ball of happiness squeeze her even tighter.

"Hello! Nel wanted to come see Itsygo's girlfwiend _too _last night, but Itsygo said I wasn't invited!" Peyton glared at Ichigo as Nel's waterworks started, causing tears and snot and hiccups to go everywhere.

"Nel twied to covince Itsygo to let her come, but he wouldn't! NEL EVEN ATTACHED HERSEWLF TO ISYGO'S LEG, BUT HE JUST TOLD HER YUZU WAS MAKING COOKIES AND TO GO STEAL SOME! NEL LISTENED, AND THEN HE SNUCK O-O-OOOUT!" Nel sobbed into Peyton's shirt.

Which was technically Ichigo's, but oh well. Not like he was getting it back any time soon. Peyton laughed nervously and attempted to sit up. "Well, Nel, how about this? I'll go downstairs and color with you for a while?"

Nel peered up at her. "Do we get to watch The Hills Have Eyes again?" "Of course." "YAY!" With that, Nel pulled her up and led her towards Ichigo's door.

His jaw was currently on the ground. "But...But...We JUST FINISHED ha-" "ITSYGO'S GIRLFWIEND?" Nel demanded suddenly, planting her feet firmly on the ground.

Peyton stopped too. "Yeah?"

She started wriggling Peyton's hand around, which she had attached her own tiny hand to. "Nel tinks Itsygo deserves punishment."

Peyton looked at Ichigo, then her, then nodded brightly. "I think you're right!"

"WHAT."

"You heard me, Ichigo."

"Yeah, Itsygo, you HEARD YOUR GIRLFWIEND!" Nel echoed. Ichigo sweatdropped as Nel placed one hand on her hip, just like Peyton currently had hers. "...Scary alike..."

Though no one could glare like Peyton could. And the sucky part was that she was currently zoning in on him with the full force of it.

Ichigo jumped up onto his bed, pointing at her. "YOU'LL HAVE TO CATCH ME FIRST!"

"THAT WON'T BE A PROBLEM!"

"WON'T BE A PROBLEM MY _ASS_!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Itsygo's girlfwiend?"

"Yeeees?"

"May I please borrow that blue?" Nel asked sweetly. Peyton beamed and handed her the crayon before turning to her left to glare at Ichigo.

Nel turned to look at him too. "Now THAT is how you ask for something. Itsygo needs to learn his manners. NEL knows HER manners."

Ichigo's temple throbbed, and Isshin suddenly walked in. "POPS!" Nel greeted. He turned to look at her, all sunshine and rainbows. "Why YESSS, my darling lovechild experiment for my beloved son and daughter?"

"Itsygo's girlfwiend and I have decided we must teach Itsygo manners!" She declared.

Isshin then noticed his son and sweatdropped. He was currently tied to a chair in the corner of the room. The chair was positioned so that his nose was against the corner but he could still see what all was going on.

He also had a few appendages of a sock monkey shoved into his mouth, and a sign hanging around his neck that read "Itsygo/Ichigo/Eee-Chee-Go Has the Manners of a Crack-Addicted Donkey Baby".

Isshin whipped out a camera. "Oh, I MUST capture this moment!" Peyton held up her cell phone, and Nel held up a disposable camera. "Already covered!"

He laughed gleefully. "Ah, you ARE my children!"

"They're not _blood relatives_, dumbass," Ichigo commented. Peyton shuddered at the thought. "Jeez, I _hope _not, considering things..."

Ichigo sweatdropped. "Trust me, I think we'd know." She stuck her tongue out at him, he stuck his tongue out at her, and Nel and Isshin watched them go back and forth making faces.

It lasted about three minutes before Peyton stealthily snuck a crayon behind her back and threw it so that it bounced off the wall.

He caught it, but somehow ended up losing his balance and falling, causing the whole chair to go with him.

All three of them started laughing as he tried to get up but couldn't, and Isshin ran to envelope Peyton in a bear hug s if just now realizing she was there. "GAH! I MISSED YOUR ANTICS! IT SEEMS LIKE ONLY YESTERDAY YOU LEFT THE KUROSAKI HOME!"

"...It WAS yesterday," Peyton replied with a sweatdrop. "I KNOW, THAT'S THE PROBLEM!" He continued without missing a beat, waving her around to and fro.

"Luckily, you and my son will one day have a REAL lovechild- or better yet, after you get married, which will hopefully be soon! And then...I shall have MINI-PEYTONS AND MINI-ICHIGOS TO PLAY WITH!" He exclaimed joyfully.

"...Now THAT'S a scary thought if I ever did hear one," Renji commented. Rukia nodded beside him.

"Indeed."

* * *

"When did ya'll get here?" Peyton managed to ask while wondering when she would be able to touch the floor again with her feet since they were currently suspended in mid-air with the rest of her.

Damn shortness.

"A few minutes ago. We just finished sc- unnnh!" Renji groaned after being elbowed in the ribs by Rukia with a temple throb.

"S...S...SURVEYING! Yes, surveying...the, uh...area...of which Renji is having roach problems!" Rukia lied oh-so-smoothly.

Peyton and Isshin sweatdropped, and Ichigo grinned from the floor. "Ha! Funny, me and Peyton ALSO just finished surveying. Was it GOOD surveying?"

"Why YES, Ichigo, yes it WAS! What about YOUR surveying?"

"Hot as always, Renji!"

Rukia looked like she was about to blow someone's head off with Old Winona (which wasn't TOO far-fetched), while Peyton was turning red from the effort of trying to breathe AND trying not to laugh.

Isshin had stars in his eyes. "GAH! So much 'surveying' going on! I'll have so many new little playthings to dote upon!"

"Ichigoooo," Rukia bellowed ominously. Ichigo's grin fell into a mask of horror as he rolled around the floor spastically, trying to avoid her shoe.

"GAH! PEYTON, SAVE ME!"

Peyton's temple throbbed, looking pointedly at Isshin, who was still hugging the life out of her. "Oh, SURE! Renji, help him please."

"Why me?"

An evil aura surrounded Peyton momentarily as she glared at him. "Because. I. Asked. NICELY!"

Renji gulped and ran to help Ichigo out. "S-Sure, no problem, Peyton! C'mon, Rukia, it's not HIS fault-"

"You're right. IT'S YOURS!"

"TH-THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS GETTING AT!" Renji shouted as Rukia tried to strangle him.

They watched Rukia chase him all over the Kurosaki house before cornering him with a Chappy bat in hand.

Everyone but Nel winced sympathetically with each blow; she merely clapped happily. "Again, again!"


	94. Adam & Chappy & Lots of Glitter

**Me: Before I go any further, I would like to have a moment of silence for Erin (aka Ishihackaloogie)'s cousin, Adam, who passed away yesterday morning. I don't wanna give the details on his death without her permission, but I do know he died too soon and this is really hard for them at the moment.**

**-MOMENT OF SILENCE-**

**...**

**...**

**...**

**Ichigo: (Stage-whispers) ...Are we done yet?**

**Everyone: SHUT UP! **

**Me: (Sighs) Yes, Ichigo, I guess that we are, thanks to your BIG-ASS MOUTH!**

**Ichigo: (Laughs nervously) Sorry. **

**Me: Whatever. Anyway, yeah, keep her in your thoughts, this can't be easy for her. She tells me it was her favorite cousin on top of that, and as mentioned in the chapp before last, she already has a bit going on lately. ANYWAY. On to less depressing things, since I doubt she wants me to restate things she already knows about, ON TO THE CAKES! ROOOOLLL 'EM IN!**

**Carmen: (Notices a note falling from the sky, picks it up and reads it) Ahem. 'Georgie Porgie was in an unfortunate accident, in which my mallet tragically collided with him multiple times. While he is recovering with Kon in the hospital, I would be HONORED to take his place in wheeling in cakes! -Sincerely, Mer'.**

**Everyone: (Mega Sweatdrops)**

**Me: O...Kay...MEEERRR, BRING IN CAKE NUMBER ONE!**

**Mer: (Zooms in in record time to present Cake Number One) AYE-AYE! **

**(Cake Number One is from Squee, for Chapp 92. It's a 92-story Awesomesauce Cake that has 'Tomfoolery' spelled in Fruit Loops)**

**Me: YAY! ...No...Dammit, now i want Fruit Loops!**

**Rukia: (Hands me bag of Fruit Loops) Here, I'm full.**

**Me: YAY AGAIN! CAKE NUMBER TWOOOO!**

**Mer: Right away! (Cake Number Two is from ShatterThe Heavens, who I was right about and IS a new reviewer, who tells me with my story it was "love at first sight". So thank you! Anyway, it's for Chapp 92, and it's a French Warm Chocolate cake with molten chocolate in the center, whipped marshmallow frosting, & raspberries on top)**

**Everyone: (Drooling)**

**Carmen: It's...beeeaauuuuuttiful!**

**Me: (Eyes her suspiciously) MINE.**

**Mer: (Holds up blue lightsaber ominously)**

**Carmen: (Gulps) O-On to Cake Number Three?**

**Me: Oh, right. CAKE NUMBER THREE!**

**Mer: (Puts away lightsaber) Damn. OKAY, YAY! (Cake Number Three is from...lied, AGAIN! It's a TROPHY, in amazing detail, from hollownature from Chapp 92. It's five feet and a few inches tall. the base is made of black marble 1 inch thick and 3 feet across with silver marbling and a beveled edge. in the corners facing out are four 6-inch-tall angels with wings spread up and behind them while holding a long sword in front of them both of their hands are aon the pommel with the tip resting in front of their feet. behind them 2 inches are four silver pillars 2 inches thick and 2 feet tall studded with round sapphires a half inch across set in a row around the pillar every 3 inches. on top of this is a 1 inch thick 3 feet across slab of turquoise. on this 2 inches from the beveled edge are four gold pillars with diamonds set in them the same distance and configuration as the sapphires. between the pillars is a large pile of authors who have tried and failed to ascertain your greatness. resting on top of the pillars is a slab of platinum one inch thick and 3 feet across with an alternating pattern of rubies and emeralds in concentric circles allthe way to the base of a single uadorned pillar of white marble one foot high and three inches thick on top of which is a 6 inch high lifelike statue of you in a supeman pose complete with cape. underneath you and wrapping around the pillar are the words "best author ever") thank you for all your hard work on this story, i really appreciate it. and for the rest of you i give these! (kon gets a get well card, ichigo gets the badass of the year award it is a 1 foot high statue with a black base and a small statue of a man holding a sword above his head on top of a plain gold pillar, rukia gets a white stuffed rabbit and everyone else gets a blue "thanks for trying" ribbon.)**

**Me: ...And that description was ENTIRELY written by hollownature, because there's no way in HELL i would re-write all that! Thank Holy Cupcake Jesus for copy & paste.**

**Everyone: (Nod reverently) Amen. ONTO CAKE NUMBER THREE, OR FOUR, OR WHATEVER!**

**Mer: INDEEEED! (Cake Number Three/Four/Whatever is from Mer, for chapp 92. It's square, light blue, and has a figure of a very upset Kon with an arm cast. On the side in white icing is inscribed, 'Why, Mandy? I thought you said I was IRREPLACABLE!' T_T)**

**Me: (Claps) Excellent.**

**Mer: (Bows) I try, Mandy, I try!**

**Ichigo: Ya know, the likeness is incredible. He really DOES look that snotty and pathetic when crying like a dumbass!**

**Rukia: In fact, i think he actually was sobbing about that when i saw him in the hospital the other day. Said something about posing for a cake...**

**Everyone: (Looks at Mer, who's whistling innocently while inspecting lightsaber)**

**Mer: U-Uhhh, CAKE NUMBER FIVE, OR FOUR, OR WHATEVER! (Cake Number Five/Four/Whatever is from Josie-Chan, for Chapp 93. It's a lifesize cake of the Tokyo Tower and the White House.)**

**Ichigo: Whoooooahhh, that looks JUST like 'em!**

**Me: (Points to White House gleefully) It even has that dog peeing in the bushes on there!**

**Everyone: (Sweatdrops) Uhhh...On to the next cake.**

**Mer: ...Good call. ON WE GO! (Cake Number Whatever is from...NOBODY! MUAHAHA!)**

**Me: Just checking to see if you were awake, CARMEN!**

**Carmen: (Jumps out of sleep) Huh? What?**

**Ichigo: ...FAIL.**

**Me: Again, my heart goes out to Erin and her family. And thank ya'll for those who said stuff about my granddad, i appreciate it. Dion, thanks for the hug XD. NOW, to conclude the Author Note, a Moment of Silence for Erin's cousin- WITHOUT SOME STUPID JACKASS INTERRUPTING!**

**Mer: (Puts lightsaber almost against Ichigo's throat threateningly before taking off her hat respectively) Gotchya covered, Mandy.**

**-MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR ADAM-**

**...**

**...**

**...**

* * *

Karin stormed in, interrupting Rukia's epic beat-down towards Renji via Chappy Bat of Doom. "Daaaad? We need posterboard!"

Everyone turned to look at her. Karin had a marker in one hand and a ruler in the other, and Ichigo sweatdropped. "...FIGURES you'd get everything out before even realizing you don't have anything to measure and draw on."

Karin's temple throbbed. "Nel, would you please kick my brother? I'm too tired." Nel beamed innocently at her. "I would LOVE to, Kawin, but I don't wanna do Itsygo's girlfwiend's job!"

Ichigo's temple throbbed, and Peyton chuckled. "Well, she's not wrong."

Karin sighed and shrugged. "Whatever. ANYWAY, Dad, me and Yuzu need posterboard."

"It's Yuzu and I," Yuzu corrected as she ran in. Renji snickered. "Heh, Ichigo's not the only one that's been hangin' around Peyton and her Southern ways too long."

They expected Peyton to glare at him, but she just nodded. "You're probably right. I've picked up some dingy habits from ya'll too, Renji."

Karin sighed impatiently. "Can someone PLEASE just get me some posterboard so we can finish this stupid project? It's due tomorrow!"

Rukia cocked her head in interest. "What kind of assignment is it? Perhaps we could be of even _more _assistance."

Yuzu cleared her throat importantly, whipping out a random sheet of paper. "We're supposed to...uhhh...OH! We're supposed to make a timeline that provides insight on an event, a person, or period in history. Hmm, that's a bit redundant, isn't it? Event and period in history? Oh well, Ms. Aochi isn't perfect! ...Hmm...Should also provide facts and data."

Karin had been drooping with every word, and now she groaned miserably. "Great, we're NEVER gonna get this done!"

Isshin suddenly jumped up, waving his hand spastically, and his children sweatdropped. "...Yes, YOU over there!" Peyton finally declared, pointing at Isshin.

He stopped holding his hand up and going "Oooh, oooh, oooh!" with a sigh of relief. "Ah, thank you, my wonderfully insightful new daughter! At least ONE of my children care about the well-being of my arm! I KNOW THE PERFECT CHART YOU COULD USE, MY DEAR CHILDREN!"

And with that, he ran to his room to grab something. It took a few seconds, but then Ichigo and Peyton looked at each other in horror, finally realizing what he was getting.

They ran after him like wild things, making everyone sweatdrop. "NO NO NO, ISSHIN, NOT _THAT _KIND OF CHART! PLEEEASE!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****HOURS LATER...**_

"AAAAAAnd, done!" Matsumoto announced, patting the scrap of paper she had just glued down. Toshiro's temple throbbed.

"And yet you won't do your paperwork, which is five times easier than all this...this...ugh, PROJECTS, I hate them with a damn fiery passion!"

Karin nodded quickly in agreement, and Yuzu simply smiled. "I dunno, _I _thought it was fun!" Ichigo sweatdropped. "Of course you did, WE did all the work."

"We meaning ME," Rukia muttered. Matsumoto made an offended noise. "I helped too!" "Yeah, you helped make a new photo to post on Facebook!" Renji snickered, pointing at Toshiro.

Thanks to his lovely lieutenant, he had massive clumps of very feminine-looking glitter (as if there were a masculine kind) all over his skin and hair.

He wasn't the only one; in fact, Matsumoto was the only one that didn't look like she had gotten run over by a gay bus.

She only had two streaks of colorful "spaaaarkly" glitter on her; right above her eyes, slashing over and to the side in such a stylish way that Lady Gaga would take one look at her and tell her stylist "I wanna look like that chick tonight!".

Karin yawned, and Yuzu stood with a cheerful smile. "So, who wants to help me get this onto a table?"

The room cleared out so fast that Ichigo barely had time to blink. His temple throbbed; like him, everyone must've been scared that all the decorations would fall off and they'd have to do it all over again.

And considering it was almost one-thirty on a Sunday night, that would NOT fly. The last thing he wanted was to be so pissy tomorrow that even PEYTON couldn't top his Pissyness Level.

Ichigo sighed and grabbed one end of the poster; Nel and Yuzu were solemnly gripping the other end.

After a ten-to-fourteen-minute procedure, it was finally on the table, and they all sighed with relief.

"Peyton, you want me to walk ya home?" He asked over his shoulder as he yawned and stretched.

No answer. He turned around and sweatdropped. She was currently sprawled out in the corner of Yuzu's room, glitter-glue and markers all over her skin and in her hair.

"...She's asleep?"

Karin sweatdropped. "Jeez, Ichigo, she's only been asleep for about two hours. Even _I_ noticed!"

He shrugged and picked her up, and he just barely dodged a fist aiming towards his face that was followed by a cry of "NOOO, NANAW, THAT'S _MYYYY _MAC-AND-CHEESE!".

Ichigo sweatdropped. "...Wow, that incident must've _actually _scarred her for life." Yuzu opened her mouth to ask _about _it, and Karin just shook her head. "Don't. Some things are better left a mystery."

They both sweatdropped as Ichigo carried her out, and she nodded solemnly. "Agreed. THANKS ICHIGO!"

There was a very audible _**SMACK**_, followed by a groan and a "Holy crap, Ichigo, I'm so sorry!". Karin sweatdropped, and Yuzu laughed nervously.

"...My pleasure, Yuzu, my _effing _pleasure," Ichigo groaned as he went downstairs, still carrying Peyton as she apologized about eighty times.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Peyton smiled up at him apologetically as Ichigo rubbed his face for about the ninety-millionth time.

"I'm sorry!"

He rolled his eyes. "You can't help it that you're clutzy even in your sleep." "Hey, I'm not-" "Apology accepted." "But-" "Let it go." "BUT I'M NOT C-" He bent his head down and kissed her a couple times, and she didn't finish her sentence.

Instead, she bided her time. Less than three minutes later, she shouted "I'M NOT CLUTZY!" at the same time that HE shouted "YES YOU ARE!".

Peyton narrowed her eyes. "How the hell did you KNOW?" Ichigo smirked. "You had your 'Oh Yeah, I'm Badass, He'll Never See It Coming" look on your face."

She huffed. "I seriously need to work on that..." "_I _think it's cute." Peyton's temple throbbed. "Of course you do, it helps you WIN. Like you don't win ENOUGH!"

Ichigo sweatdropped. "Considering you had me tied to a chair with a grimy sock monkey stuffed down my throat and a sign that implied I was worse than a crack-addicted donkey baby-"

"Crack-addicted BABY DONKEY," She corrected, making his temple throb. "Same thing!"

"If they were the same, they wouldn't be two different phrases, WOULD THEY?"

"...They're NOT two different phrases. They're just the same phrase switched around." She pointed at him. "Exxx-ACTLY! So they're two different phrases!"

Ichigo stared at her for a second before shaking his head with a grin. "Your logic...It's just one of those things I guess I should just PRETEND to understand."

Peyton sweatdropped. "It took you _this long _to figure that one out, did it?"

His temple throbbed, and she was snickering when they reached her driveway. He put her down, and she grinned. "Aren't you gonnna come in? It's just Lindsay and Seth in there, and we're already past our bedtime as it is. Might as well enjoy it, right?"

"What about Nanaw?"

She waved him off. "Bahhh, Nanaw doesn't count. Once she takes her 8:30 meds, she could be in Oompa Loompa Land for all she knows." Peyton then smirked and pulled him towards the front door by his shirt. "So you coming?"

"We gotta go to school tomorrow," He said with a smirk, obviously trying to get her back for all the stuff she had done to him today.

Peyton rolled her eyes. "And that's stopped us before SO many times." She reached to open her door, but he grabbed her hand and kissed her. After a few kisses, he let her go and put about a five-foot distance between them.

His hands were in his pockets, and he was smirking. "Niiiight, Peyton." She narrowed her eyes at him, glaring. "Get your orange ass back here!"

Ichigo shrugged, his smirk getting even bigger and more smug. "Hey, I'm no better than a crack-addicted baby donkey. Once I get in there, I won't have enough of a brain to know what to do."

She folded her arms across her middle. "You seem to know EXACTLY what to do, if you ask me."

He cupped a hand to his ear. "I'm sorry, WHAT? YOU'VE LEFT ME SO TRAUMATIZED FROM SEEING SHINJI NAKED THAT IT'S IMPAIRED MY ABILITY TO HEAR!"

"MIGHTY BIG VOCABULARY FOR SOMEONE WORSE THAN A CRACK-ADDICTED BABY DONKEY!"

"I LOVE YOU!"

"THEN GET YOUR ASS IN THIS HOUSE _RIGHT NOW_!"

"I'm sorry, WHAT?"

"ICHIGO, YOU-"

"WHAAAAT?"

"Ah, DAMMIT ALL TO HELL! DON'T MAKE ME PULL OUT OLD WINONA ON YOU!"

"WHAAAT?"

"ICHIGOOOO!"

"Byeeeeee, Peeeytoooon," He teased in a sing-song voice, strolling leisurely back towards his house.

Peyton watched him go, the ultimate pout on her face, before sighing. "...Well, at least I have ice cream."

When she shut the door, Nanaw scared the SHIT out of her by whirling around to face her on the couch. "Was that a fight I just heard? Are you and Hunk Muffin no longer? IS HE SINGLE AND LOOKING?"

Peyton's right eye twitched menacingly. "...Nanaw, go take your pills and head off to Oompa Loompa Land before I "accidentally" up your dosage!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**THE ****NEXT DAY...**_

Ichigo and Karin exchanged an eye-roll as Isshin sighed dramatically for the fiftieth time during breakfast.

"Gah! This is the second morning in a row my new daughter hasn't joined us for breakfast! And the first time was because my selfish only son was hogging her to himself!"

Ichigo sweatdropped. "Dad, I'm right here."

"BUT YOUR WIFE-TO-BE ISN'T!" He wailed, sobbing dramatically. Yuzu carefully plopped some pancakes in front of him, and he brightened like a kid on Christmas. "OOOOOH, PANCAKES! WHAT A LOVELY SURPRISE, MY DARLING DAUGHTER!"

Dad took a few bites before pointing his fork at Ichigo. "I'm sure my darling new daughter can cook pancakes this good, too. And it's _your _job to make sure your children inherit that trait!"

Ichigo snorted a laugh, nearly choking on his cereal. "The day Peyton successfully cooks something that isn't pre-made is the day I tell Karin 'You look beautiful today!'."

Yuzu's jaw dropped. "Ichigo, that's so MEAN!"

Karin shuddered. "Ugh, the very THOUGHT of that day coming..." Nel sweatdropped. "Yuzu, I thought you said giwls are vewy dewicate cweatures who liked compliments most of all!"

"Karin doesn't count," All three Kurosaki children replied. Ichigo looked at Karin with a sweatdrop. "And for whatever reason, you talking in thid person surprises me...?"

Dad sighed. "No matter." He continued to point at Ichigo, stabbing the air with his fork for emphasis. "Then you better cook _for _your wonderful future-wife! For putting up with your ass, she sure as hell deserves it!"

"True that," Everyone at the table agreed with nods, Ichigo included. He sweatdropped and polished off the rest of his breakfast, standing and grabbing his bag. "Well, guess I'm off."

"Where's Rukia, my OTHER darling daughter?" Dad asked, looking around spastically. Karin sweatdropped. "She skipped breakfast. Said she was too excited to eat. Jeez, dad, some daughter you think SHE is if you don't remember her saying _bye _to us!"

Dad's lower lip trembled, and his head hit the table. "I...AM THE WORLD'S _WORST _FA-A-ATHERRR!"

Yuzu stood to comfort her father, making a rolled-up posterboard of a DIFFERENT color than the one Ichigo and the others were first to stare at for HOURS ON END last night fall out of her bag.

She and her sister gulped as Ichigo picked it up and unrolled it, and they inched nervously towards the door.

"...DAAAAD, WHY DO THEY HAVE THE BABY-MAKING CHART?" Ichigo bellowed.

"IT'S THE BOW-CHIKA-WOW-WOW METER!" The twins corrected, pointing to a new neon-glitter-glued title on the top before running for cover.

"IT WAS ALL THEM!" Dad insisted as Ichigo ran after them.

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"ICHIGO KUROSAKI, I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WI- ...What the hell happened to _you_?" Peyton asked with a hint of a laugh in her voice as she fell into step with him in the hallway.

Ichigo looked like he had just ate a really hot pepper, so he was either embarrassed or angry. Or both.

He just sighed and shook his head. "...Don't ask. Please." She smirked and was about to reply when they reached homeroom and Rukia made a beeline for them.

"GUYS, GUESS WHAT?"

"...What?" They asked warily. Peyton inched closer to Ichigo a bit fearfully; there were very few things Rukia got THIS excited about.

Actually, mainly one thing. Chappy.

"CHAPPY'S TEACHING A SEXUAL EDUCATION CLASS TODAY!" She squealed. Ichigo looked at Peyton, who had paled dangerously and was laughing nervously.

"Ehehehe...he...he...Uhhh..." _**THUD.**_


	95. Peyton, Ichigo, Sex Ed, & Pervyness!

**Me: BACK! Thanks for the comments on Adam, I know Erin (Ishihackaloogie) appreciates it. :)**

**Ichigo: (Sighs impatiently) Just get on with it, I DON'T WANNA BE DOING A STUPID AUTHOR'S NOTE WITH YA'LL ALL DAY!**

**Me and Rukia: (Big smirks) Ichigo Kurosaki, did you just say YA'LL?**

**Ichigo: (Pales) 0_0 No. NO. NAAAAO! THE SOUTHERNNESS IS SPREADING! GAAAAAHHH!**

**Me: (Eye-twitch) What's wrong with being from the South?**

**Ichigo: (Gulps) N-Nothing!**

**Me: Yeah, yeah, that's what i THOUGHT!**

**Carmen: (Filing nails in the corner) Can we PLEASE just keep going?**

**Me and Ichigo: (Temple throbs) Fine then. WHEEL IN THE CAKES!**

**Carmen: WHEEL 'EM IN!**

**Everyone: (Sweatdrop as we hear rather girly and studio-made vocalizing) **

**Ichigo: What...the HELL...kind of creature is that?**

**Rukia: (Points at person wheeling in cakes) The voice...of an ANGEL.**

**Me and Ichigo: (Sweatdrops of epic proportions) ...**

**Carmen and Rukia: (Squeals of fangasmic delight) GAH! JUSTIN BIEBER!**

**Me: (Sniffle) I officially miss Kon now. All hell has been released if the day has come where JB is in my story.**

**Ichigo: (Pats shoulder) Hell was realeased the instant you were born, Mandy, don't feel too bad.**

**Me: (Nods) True.**

**Justin: Ta-DAAA! (Cake Number One is from xXSweetestXAngelXNightmareXx. It's a nice big cake with a picture of a glittered-up Toshiro on it. **

**Justin: Hey, there's a note.**

**Me: (Sweatdrop) Well then read it. You can read, can't you?**

**Justin: (Glares) YES. (Reads note) It saaaaaays: "Take a picture for blackmail before you eat it. Peace, Love, Happiness, Z"**

**Ichigo and Me: (Clap mockingly) WHOOO, GO JUSTIN! WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU, LITTLE BUDDY!**

**Justin: (Sighs patiently) I'll just go wheel in the next cake.**

**Carmen: (Stars in eyes) Don't take too long!**

**Rukia: Yeah...What she said (Practically drooling)**

**Ichigo and Me: (Epic sweatdrops)**

**Ichigo: DAMN, do i wish she was just drooling over the cake...**

**Justin: HERE YA GO! (Cake Number Two is from Mer and Homicide. It's not really a cake, it's 3 swords [for Ichigo, Rukia, and Master Mandy] made of fruit roll ups)**

**Me and Rukia: (Eye swords dreamily) Fruuuit roolllll upppps! I HAVEN'T HAD THOSE IN FOREVER!**

**Carmen: What're fruit roll ups?**

**Everyone: (Dramatic Isshin gasps) WHAAAT?**

**Justin: NEVER HAD A FRUIT ROLL UP? THE HECK'S WRONG WITH YOU, CARMEN!**

**Carmen: (Sobs) I dunno, Justin, I'M SO SO-O-O-RYYYY!**

**Everyone: (Sweatdrops)**

**Justin: (Sighs heavily) Yeah, I'm used to that. Anyway. CAKE NUMBER THREE! **

**Me: (Nudges Ichigo) The Canadian's catching on to our ways.**

**Ichigo: (Eye-roll) **

**Justin: (Wheels in Cake Number Three, from Squee. It's a 94-story Awesomesauce Cake covered in edible glitter) **

**Justin Again: (Waves me off) Pftt, I've only read your chapps about eighty times before I applied as Carmen SanDiego's Cake-Wheeling Servant!**

**Me: (Stars in eyes) REEEEALLY? **

**JB: Well, yeah. It's AWESOMESAUCE!**

**Me: Wow, he used my word!**

**JB: I subscribed. See? (Points to Subscriber list. Among the 125 faves and 82 alerts, "JB" is listed as a name on both)**

**Rukia: (Isshin Gasp) GAH! I MUST MAKE MYSELF PRESENTABLE FOR AUTHOR'S NOTES FROM NOW ON!**

**Ichigo: Could you start by shutting up more often?**

**Rukia: (Throws gauntlet) SHUT THE HELL UP!**

**Me: (Offended noise) Hey, that's MY JOB!**

**Justin Beiber: Well, ANYWAY...**

**Me: ENJOY! AND REVIEW! AND ENJOY SOME MORE!**

**Rukia: Hey, that's MY JOB!**

**Me: Now we're even.**

**Rukia: (Droops) I suppose you're right.**

**Me: Aren't I always? (Grins, then looks at everyone threateningly) DON'T answer that!**

* * *

Everyone sweatdropped, and Ichigo crouched down to try and revive his girlfriend. "The hell gave you THAT idea, Rukia?"

Tatsuki folded her arms across her chest moodily. "Unfortunately, Ray of Sunshine's right." Rukia nodded happily. "Yeah! The administrators figured it'd be easier on the Sexual Education teachers if the students had a well-known character talking about it instead of some random teacher!"

"So they chose CHAPPY? What, are we in the 4th grade now?" Ichigo asked with another sweatdrop. Rukia rolled her eyes. "EVERYONE loves Chappy!"

"OBVIOUSLY," Ichigo replied, looking at Peyton pointedly. Speaking of which, she blinked and looked around groggily. "Huh? What happened?"

"You passed out."

Peyton looked up at him excitedly. "Really? I did? I've never done that before! Did my eyes roll back? Did they? HOW HARD DID I FALL?"

Everyone sweatdropped again, and Ichigo just sighed. "Yes to all of that, how about that?"

She sighed heavily. "Weeelll, I _guess_that works...Wait...What happened to make me faint? DID SOMEONE DIEEEE?"

"Not yet they didn't, but we'll see. Chappy's gonna teach you about sex."

Everyone waited for her to react, and her lower lip trembled, but with a sniffle and deep breath, she nodded. "Alright. I can do this...I can do this..."

Tatsuki pointed at her casually. "Hey, Peyton, your-"

"I SAID I CAN DO THIS, TATSUKI, DON'T QUESTION IT!"

She sweatdropped. "Uhh...Actually, I was gonna say your shoe's untied." Peyton glanced down and tied her shoe with a nervous laugh. "Oh. My bad."

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****HOURS LATER...**_

Ichigo shook his head as Peyton continued to tremble; she was practically in his lap and had a death grip on his shoulder. "'I can do this' my ass."

She glared at him. "I CAN do this! I haven't fainted again yet, have I?" He was about to reply when the door slammed ominously, and in strode some teacher they'd never seen before.

She had wild, curly dark hair going everywhere, with dark eyes to match. She wasn't exactly the youngest teacher at Karakura, she looked to be in her late forties or early fifties.

She assessed the room with a glare, and Rukia nudged Ichigo from her seat behind him. "Hey, look! She has a permanent scowl, just like you!"

Peyton and Ichigo exchanged a look and shuddered at the thought of him being ANYTHING like that woman.

"I'm Ms. Zavaglia, and I'll be teaching you EVERYONE'S favorite lesson," She recited glumly, with slight anger behind her words.

Obviously the very sight of them pissed her off. Keigo raised his hand, and her temple throbbed. "...Yes?"

"Are you German?"

She sweatdropped. "Italian." He nodded. "Ahh, the language of love. It all makes sense now!" There were a few snickers, but Ichigo and Renji just shook their heads. Peyton was too busy looking at the window of the classroom door for any sign of Chappy to pay attention to Keigo's idiocy.

Zavaglia glanced at the door, then at Peyton. "...You need to be somewhere, kid?" After she didn't reply, Ichigo elbowed her, and she jumped. "OW! ...Huh? I'm sorry, ma'am, what'd ya say?"

Her eyebrows shot up at her usage of "ma'am". "You must not be from around here." "She's a Southerner," Everyone replied, a few "Yankee Kid"'s scattered about the room as well.

Peyton sweatdropped. "Uhh, yeah, what they said. But what did YOU say, ma'am?" Ms. Zavaglia didn't answer.

Peyton looked to Ichigo, who just shook his head, and she shrugged.

Of course, right at that moment Chappy burst through the door, scaring the crap out of not just Peyton but everybody.

"CHAPPY!" Everyone cheered, while Peyton hid most of her face on Ichigo's shoulder. BUT OF COURSE Chappy homed in on her, she and Ichigo being the only two who didn't seem to worship the ground he walked on.

Well, other than Renji and Toshiro. They had very limited ideas on who the hell Chappy was in the first place, so they didn't count.

He bounded over to Peyton. "Now what do we have here? Is someone _shy_?" "Someone's gonna give you an early and permanent retirement if you don't back _up_," Ichigo replied dangerously.

Chappy laughed nervously and did as Ichigo suggested. "Allllrighty, guess someone's just not in the Chappy Spirit today! MOVING ON!"

Ichigo sighed and shook his head, and Peyton muttered "Thanks" before kissing his shoulder and continuing to hide behind it.

_This is gonna be a long-ass day..._

* * *

Chappy stood at the front of the room, looking absolutely honored and downright giddy to be there. "Helloooo, ladies and gentleman! I'm here to talk to you about one of the most interesting and fascinating things you'll ever learn in this school: Sexual Education."

There were a few groans, but Rukia took care of that quickly enough. "SSHHHH! CHAPPY'S SPEAKING, NOT YOU GUYS, SHOW SOME RESPECT!" Rukia then switched off her demonic aura to beam innocently at Chappy.

Zavaglia was currently watching everyone closely for any signs of perverted stupidity longing to burst forth, and once she was satisfied, she plopped into her desk chair and crossed her arms.

Chappy cleared is throat. "Why, thank you little lady! Ahem. Usually, we break you into two different groups: boys and girls in separate rooms. But we figure that you're all young adults and can control yourselves."

"Mistake number one," Peyton and Ichigo muttered in unison, and she lifted her head up to grin at him. "SOOOO, LET'S BEGIN!" Chappy boomed, making her head duck right back down.

He pulled down a random chart of some unknown woman's body, like you usually see in textbooks. Chappy whipped out a pointer and rapped it against the poster, making everyone jump.

"Can any of you BOYS tell me what this is?"

"Holy crap, it's like fifth grade all over again," Peyton muttered. Keigo sweatdropped. "You learned all this in fifth grade?"

Peyton was about to answer him, but scratched her head thoughtfully instead. "Actually, I think I learned this in sixth grade. We had some kind of soap opera about periods in fifth grade..." She shuddered at the thought, and Ichigo just sweatdropped and shook his head, trying not to laugh.

"YOU, OVER THERE!" Chappy demanded, pointing enthusiastically to one of the upperclassmen that got held back last year and was forced to take their class.

"Ummm, isn't it called a coo-"

"FORMAL NAME!" Chappy and Zavaglia said almost immediately. Chappy laughed nervously while Ms. Zavaglia stood and started pacing the room to watch everyone more carefully.

"Oh. Isn't it the, uh...uhhhh...VIRGINIA! Yeah, that's it." Everyone sweatdropped massively. Minus Keigo, who was nodding.

The girls gaped at him, and Keigo shrugged. "What?" "That...is NOT what it's called." Ichigo snickered. "It is now!"

"If you even THINK of calling it that, you won't be visiting Virginia for at _least _a month, Ichigo Kurosaki!" He scoffed, smirking down at her. "Like YOU could even last that long, Peyton Alicia Cullen!"

Peyton opened her mouth to retaliate, closed it, opened it again, and finally huffed. "...I'll try my bestest, and in the meantime it'll be hell on earth. Like my period, only FIVE TIMES WORSE."

Ichigo shuddered at the thought and nodded quickly. "No 'Virginia' it is, absolutely not." She grinned triumphantly. "That's what I thought."

Zavaglia quirked an eyebrow at them, and they snapped their mouths shut comically. "Er, Chappy, I think THIS young man knows the answer!"

* * *

Peyton looked around cautiously, having forgotten Chappy the Stupid Effing Rabbit had been there, and screamed bloody murder when he suddenly shouted from right behind her, "GO RIGHT AHEAD, SONNY!".

"HOLY SHITTING CRAP!" She shrieked, flipping out of her chair, which she had scooted next to Ichigo's desk.

Everyone sweatdropped, and Ichigo moved to help her up when there was a loud _**CRRRACK**_caused by Ms. Zavaglia's ruler whipping against his desk.

"Answer the question, Mr. Kurosaki, you're wasting time. Ms. Cullen, watch your language, it's very unladylike to cuss like that." Peyton stood and brushed herself off before slowly sitting her chair back upright and plopping into it.

As Ichigo tried to waste as much time as possible answering (turning about eighty shades of red all the while), Peyton tried to scoot her chair back up next to his as quietly as possible.

It didn't work out quite like she planned.

"W-Well, uhhh-" _**CRRK. CRRK. SQUEEEAAAK-CRRRRRRKK.**_

"Ahemuhwellit'scalledavaginaahemhumhum." _**CRRRRRRK, SQUEAKIE-SQUEAKIE!**_

Everyone sweatdropped again, and Chappy cupped a hand to his ear. "Don't be shy, Son!" Ichigo's temple throbbed. "I'm not your son, calling me that is just plain creepy ya damn pervert in a bulky suit from some low-budget costume store."

"Prick," Chappy muttered under his breath before beaming cheerfully. "Fine! Don't be shy, Boy I've Never Met! Would you like me to point it out for you on the diagram again?"

"No thanks, I've seen enough of it to know what it is," He replied calmly, making Peyton turn so red that her hair looked dark brown in comparison.

Renji and Toshiro were just about dying from nonstop laughter in the back row, and Zavaglia gave them a stern glare, making them shut up almost instantly.

"Well then, TELL US, Boy I've Never Met!"

"Hummahemum_vagina_ahemhum-"

"SPIT IT OUT, KUROSAKI!" Zavaglia demanded, rapping the ruler against his desk again and making Peyton jump so bad she nearly flipped out of her chair AGAIN.

"Dammit," She muttered under her breath, scooting her chair back up. Ichigo, wanting to just get it over with, ended up shouting as loud as possible to make sure they could hear them over Peyton's scooting.

"VAGINAAAA!"

...So of course she was done scooting a good three seconds before he shouted.

* * *

Ichigo looked at Peyton as everyone started laughing, and she just flashed the best innocently-apologetic smile she could muster while trying not to giggle herself.

That urge to giggle was gone once Chappy's rabbit hand clapped onto her shoulder. "And what about YOU? Do you know what that part's FOR?"

She turned deathly pale, and Ichigo pried Chappy's hand off her shoulder with a glare that could kill. "Get any closer to her than three feet ONE MORE TIME, and you'll be leaving this classroom in three Ziploc bags."

Chappy gulped and laughed nervously, hopping to the other side of the room. "U-Uhhh, why don't we just continue the lesson? I talk, you all listen."

Peyton grinned up at Ichigo once Chappy's back was turned. "You're so badass sometimes." Ichigo's eyebrows shot up. "SOMETIMES?"

She rolled her eyes. "Don't try your luck, Kurosaki." "Oh, I see how it is!" She giggled, catching Ms. Zavaglia's attention.

"Now, the whole point of this lesson is to not only...well, EDUCATE you, but to promote abstaining from sex until marriage," Chappy continued without missing a beat.

Zavaglia quirked a warning eyebrow at the two teens before nodding in agreement. "Yes. We like to promote the idea of being PURE for your husband or wife."

Shinji looked at Peyton and Ichigo, snickering. "Too late for some of us, ehhh?" "SHUT UP, SHINJI!" They hissed.

Ms. Zavaglia sighed impatiently and strode over to their desk. "Kurosaki, Cullen, will you PLEASE find SOME WAY to control yourselves?"

They pointed at Shinji. "He STARTED it!" They protested in slightly-whiny tones. She held up a hand. "All I heard were _your _voices, so I'm holding _you two _respo-..." She trailed off, eyeing something behind Ichigo before reaching over him.

"Kurosaki, what's this sticking out of your-"

"DON'T READ THAT!" He exclaimed, grabbing at the rolled-up posterboard she had grabbed. Peyton looked at him questioningly, until the teacher read the title out loud.

"...'The Bow-Chika-Wow-Wow Meter'?"

* * *

"DON'T READ THAT, MA'AAAAAAMMM!" Peyton wailed, looking at Ichigo for an explanation. He was turning redder and redder. "Karin and Yuzu tried to sneak it out for their project this morning...I didn't trust them enough to put it back in the house!" He hissed.

"Well, WAY TO GO! Now all OUR classmates get to know about its existence!" She hissed back. They both sank lower and lower into their chairs as the teacher's expressions changed from sappy, to appaled, to pissed.

"EXPLAIN YOURSELVES! IS ALL THIS _TRUE_?" She demanded, slapping the posterboard onto their shared desk.

Scared to look at what Isshin could have _possibly _been writing, Peyton and Ichigo looked up at her blankly.

Shinji leaned over curiously. "Huh...December 10th, so THAT'S when you guys started dating! ...Hmm...Ah, INTERESTING. Ichigo said the L-Word less than two months later, eh? Didn't waste any time there, didya? And, uhhhh-oh, WOW, Peyton! Look at this bar graph!"

Shinji held up the poster for them to see the various charts and list. There was one that listed, and we quote, "The Traits I Can Only Pray My Wonderful Daughter Passes On To My Grandchildren That Cancel Out Ichigo's Sucky Ones".

It was a moderately-lengthy list, too. There was also one that was EPICALLY perverted, and monitored how many times they were "heard" per day. It was organized like calendars, and almost every square on there was filled.

Minus a long number of days that had lines drawn through them, above which was either "Peyton Still Missing" or "Ichigo & Others Out Fetching Peyton".

Along with a tally of how many sounds were heard, a name of someone living in the Kurosaki household was put beside them in parentheses to show who heard which sounds however frequently.

Kon's name showed up a lot, which was quite disturbing.

Ms. Zavaglia was turning lots of exotic colors, and she pointed a shaky finger at them. "You two...Have already..."

"Shagged the hankypanky?" Shinji offered innocently, earning him two very threatening death glares.

She nodded angrily. "Let's go with that less-offending term. Chappy, THESE TWO HAVE ENGAGED IN ACTIVITIES THEY SHOULD HAVE SAVED FOR MARRIAGE!"

Chappy gasped dramatically, while everyone burst into laughter at how mortified the couple-in-question was. "Why, SHAME on you two! Goin' and doing something ridiculous like that! How irresponsible!"

"Did you not think of the consequences? What about SAVING IT FOR SOMEONE YOU'LL LOVE FOREVER, SOMEONE YOU'RE BOUND TO BY LAW AND THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE?" Ms. Zavaglia fumed.

At this point, Peyton just had her palm against her forehead and was shaking her head slowly in embarrassment/disbelief/tiredness.

Ichigo glared at the Italian woman. "Okay, FIRST OFF, you don't even KNOW us. We're not doing it because we're ridiculous, we're doing it 'cause we both want to and thought carefully about it, THANKS VERY MUCH. And I happen to be in love with this American right here, we've been through things you wouldn't even BELIEVE. As far as I'm concerned, I won't be marrying anyone else if it's not her. And FOR ANOTHER THING, do you mean to tell me YOU'RE a fifty-year-old virgin? Because you've _obviously_ never been married."

Everyone fell silent after that, both in awe and with curiosity. Ms. Zavaglia hesitated. "...Uh...Well...DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO! IT WAS THE SIXTIES, IT WAS LIKE A REQUIREMENT TO SLEEP AROUND AND SMOKE UNTIL YOU COULDN'T PUFF NO MORE!" She wailed, starting to sob.

Peyton's head fell against the desk, numerous times, at how stupid this whole thing seemed. "Aww, young lady, no need to beat yourself up about this!" Chappy cooed from right behind her.

"GAAAHH!" _**WHOOOSH, THUD.**_

"Awww, not again, that's SO gonna bruise!"


	96. Chappy's Identity And Gravedancing!

**Me: SOOOO sorry for the delay!**

**Carmen: It's rather unlike you.**

**Ichigo: It's 'cause she's a SLACKER- OWWW!**

**Me: (Having just hit him with a gauntlet) YOU ASSHOLE, I WAS SICK! AND THIS WAS LIKE 14 PAGES LONG, SO I THINK SLACKER IS THE LAST THING TO CALL ME!**

**Rukia: (Icepack on head, looks at audience) They've been bitchy all day. JUST GET ON WITH IT, YOU TWO! (Hisses in a breath and grips icepack tighter) Owwwww...**

**Me and Ichigo: (Huge smirks and snickers)**

**Carmen: REALLY didn't think that through, didya?**

**Rukia: (Temple throb) JUST ROLL IN THE CAKES. ...Ow, ow, DAMMIT OW!**

**Carmen: ROLL 'EM IN, MY BELOVED JUSTIN! (Waits with stars in eyes)**

**Ichigo and Me: (Whistle innocently)**

**Rukia and Carmen: (Demonic auras that only fangirls could muster) WHAT did you DO to JUSTIN?**

**Ichigo and Me: NOOOOTHINNNNG! **

**Me: I heard he was in the hospital.**

**Ichigo: I think he...um...they said he accidentally fell onto a zanpakuto and...um...accidentally nearly got beheaded and, ummm...accidentally...nearly bled to death when the crazed assailant...um...nearly hacked him to pieces.**

**Me: ...Yeah. But it couldn't have been us, because whoever it was, they were a NINJA!**

**-Meanwhile, In Some Nearby Hospital-**

**Justin: (Trying and failing to vocalize, causing his stitches to reopen on his throat) NAAAOOO!**

**Justin: (Shakes fist at the sky) Damn you, Ninja Dude With Spiky Orange Hair. DAAAAAMN YOOOOU!**

**-Back to Us-**

**Me: ...He'll be missed.**

**Ichigo: (Nods solemnly)**

**Rukia: (Eyetwitch) ...Whatever. CAKE NUMBER ONE!**

**(In comes the most disturbing creature imaginable...besides Lady Gaga and Justin Beiber's lovechild)**

**Me, Ichigo, Carmen, Random Videogamer: ...PYRAMIDHEAD?**

**Pyramidhead: ...Unh. (Cake Number One is from yeah9fun. It's a giant choco-chip-cookie/brownie cake thingie with blue icing that's a life-sized version of Chappy! but a giant Chappy the size of King Kong)**

**Pyramidhead: ...Unh. (Points to note)**

**Ichigo: (Sweatdrop) He's a man of many words.**

**Me: (Shrugs) I don't recall him talking in Silent Hill 2.**

**Ichigo and Gamer: True.**

**Me: (Takes note gently while flashing an innocent smile at my new cake assitant) ...Um...it says... "King-Kong Chappy shall be taking over Tokyo tomorrow at 4:37 pm. Be there or be square!"**

**Carmen: (Runs off) SQUEE! I'LL GO BUY A FOREMAN GRILL, 3-D GLASSES, AND SOME LAWN CHAIRS!**

**Ichigo: (Epic sweatdrop as Pyramidhead claps gleefully) ...Well, call me Ishmael.**

**Me: Ishmael.**

**Ichigo: NOT LITERALLY.**

**Me: Oh. Sorry, Ishmael. ON TO CAKE NUMBER TWOOOO! ...If you please, Mr. Pyramidhead.**

**Pyramidhead: Unh. (Runs off before wheeling in Cake Number Two. It's from Mer and Homicide. It's an Ichigo-sized Chappy, and it's white. There's a gun right next to it)**

**Rukia: Oooooh!**

**Me: THERE'S A NOTE!**

**Pyramidhead: Unnnnh. (Hands me note)**

**Me: Uhhh...thanks. It saaaays... "For Ichigo only. It isn't for eating, but to relieve stress. Ichigo, take the gun and release you emotions upon the fuckin rabbit!" (Sweatdrops as Ichigo spits out part of Chappy's ear)**

**Ichigo: I fricking KNEW it tasted weird!**

**Me: (Eyeroll) ...Whatever. CAKE NUMBER THREEEE! ...Whenever you get around to it, Mr. Pyramidhead, as long as you remember my legs may be long but are for display only.**

**Pyramidhead: Awwwwnnnnh! (Stomps off and goes to get the cake.)**

**(Cake Number Three is from Squee. It's a 95-story awesomesauce cake with anti-Chappy and anti-JB symbols)**

**Me and Ichigo: (Isshin Anime Tears of Joy) It's...b-b-beautiful!**

**Rukia: Try b-b-BLASPHEMY!**

**Me: YOU DON'T COUNT!**

**Rukia: YES I DO!**

**Pyramidhead: UNNNNH! (Gestures to the already-wheeled-out Cake Number Four. It's from SwirlzSmile. It's a chocolate cake with red and orange icing. Ichigo and Peyton are sweatdropping at the wailing sex-ed teacher, and there's some strawberries and sugar stars scattered around the cake)**

**Me: (Stars in eyes) Wowww, he's the best one so far. I DIDN'T HAVE TO EVEN TELL YOU! PYRAMIDHEAD, YOU ROCK!**

**Pyramidhead: (Blushes and waves me off bashfully) Unnnh!**

**Ichigo: (Epic sweatdrop) ...Oh dear CUPCAKE JESUS, please just wheel out Cake Number Five.**

**Me: YOU HEARD ISHMAEL, CAKE NUMBER FIVE!**

**Ichigo: MY NAME IS NOT ISHMAEL, DAMMIT!**

**Pyramidhead: UNNNH! (Cake Number Five is from xXSweetestXAngelXNightmareXx. It's a Chappy-head cake with Zangetsu stabbed into its head.)**

**Me: OOOH! LOOKIE! ANOTHER NOTE! (Peering over Pyramidhead's shoulder) It saaaays..."Ichigo, here are your deepest, darkest, not-directly-related-to-Peyton desires, come to light. ENJOI! P*L*H!"**

**Ichigo: Can we make my directly-related-to-Peyton desires come true, too?**

**Me: If we tried that, we'd be here all day.**

**Ichigo: I CAN HANDLE THAT!**

**Me: SHUT UP, PERVY ISHMAEL, AND LET'S MOVE ON TO CAKE NUMBER SIX!**

**Ichigo: MY NAME IS ICHIGO KUROSAKI, NOT FRICKING ISHMAEL!**

**Pyramidhead: Unh. Unh. (Cake Number Six is from Reason to Scatter. It's a chocolate Chappy-shaped cake with a stake through where the heart should be. The stake-hole is dripping cherry "blood". There are also 3 Ziploc bags arranged on the plate the cake is on.)**

**Ichigo: Now THAT is beautiful.**

**Me: Indeed.**

**Pyramidhead: Unh. Unh. OMNOMNOMNOMNOM. Unh!**

**Everyone: (Massive sweatdrops)**

**Ichigo: I think he wants cake. We better wrap this up. The last thing we want is a bitchy Pyramidhead.**

**Pyramidhead: UNH! (Cake Number Seven's then wheeled in. It's from austmadman. It's a cake of Ichigo being chased by Kenpachi while Rukia and Peyton stand to the side laughing.)**

**Me: ...Oh, you're AWESOMESAUCE, Pyramidhead.**

**Pyramidhead: Awwwwnhh!**

**Ichigo: (Pretends to gag) Get a room!**

**Me: YOU AND PEYTON NEVER GET A ROOM, ISHMAEL, SO SHUT UP!**

**Ichigo: DAMMIT, MY NAME ISN'T NO FUCKING ISHMAEL!**

**Me: CAKE NUMBER EIGHT, IF YOU PLEASE!**

**Pyramidhead: Unnnh! (Points drearily at the empty cart)**

**Ichigo: Oh. No more. You can eat then, Pyramidhead. I already took pictures.**

**Me: Me too!**

**Pyramidhead: YAYY! ENJOY! OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM! (Starts rolling on the ground happily while devouring cake)**

**Me and Ichigo: (Keel over in shock) HOLY CRAP!**

**Gamer: (Uses inhaler) Ohhhh, jeez. I will never look upon Pyramidhead the same ever again!**

**Rukia: ...Who the fuck's Pyramidhead?**

* * *

Miya sighed contentedly as her husband rubbed suntan lotion onto her back. She'd never been to a beach before, and it felt even better than she imagined it.

Barbados; it even had a cool name. "Nothing could POSSIBLY spoil this, hon..." She muttered happily.

"Nope. No Nanaw, no way of work reaching us, no kids, no-" Mark trailed off when they heard the distinct sound of his phone vibrating.

He winced as his wife's temple throbbed. She sat up slowly, crossing her arms. "Is that a CELL PHONE I hear?"

"W-Well, ONE of us had to bring one! I mean, Seth's in charge back home, isn't that reason enough?"

"So how come I couldn't bring mine, too?" She demanded as the phone continued to vibrate. He sighed exasperatedly. "Because YOU'D be...be...TEXTING! Yes, you'd be texting the entire time!"

Her temple throbbed again, and Miya simply tied the straps of her halter bikini back together and huffed. "Well? Answer it."

Mark did so, wishing all kinds of creative and painful deaths against whoever had enough stupidity to call him on his honeymoon and get him caught like that.

"HELLO," He answered in a deadly tone that only one of the chief coroners of Karakura Town could muster.

"_Hello, Cullen-Sempai!"_ A voice chirped from the other end. There were very few people who referred to him by his last name after knowing him, and judging from the lockers slamming that could clearly be heard on her end, it was most definitely someone from the high school.

Mark sighed. "Which kid was it?"

"_Well, technically? Two. But only one of yours!" _She replied, still chirping like a fricking ray of sunshine.

Miya looked at him expectantly, but he just shrugged. "I know as much as you do," He mouthed.

"I highly doubt _that_," She muttered under her breath, making his temple throb, but he just closed his eyes briefly in annoyance.

This was all this chick on the other line's fault, he just KNEW IT.

"Well? You gonna tell me what they did for you to call me?" He prompted.

There was a nervous giggle on the other line. _"Oh, right! Oopsie! Sorry, I'm just a temp at the moment, I'm not good with phones..."_

Mark sweatdropped. _Temps. God love 'em, I wanna shoot them all one by one like ducks._ "Alright, well...let's get on with it?"

"_RIGHT! …Uhh, apparently your daughter Peyton was sent in for...beating...Chappy? He just left in an ambulance?"_

"WHAT THE HELL IS CHAPPY DOING AT HER SCHOOL?"

"_Well, he was there for a sexual education class," _She replied quickly.

"But of course. She's _terrified _of the stupid character," He muttered, rubbing his temple with his free hand tiredly.

Miya nodded to herself. "Peyton."

"Lucky guess."

"_I'm sorry, sir?"_

"Not you, I was talking to my wife."

She giggled anxiously again, and he sighed. "And why exactly are you calling _me_?" _"Weeelll, they're sending them both home, aaand...I'm not sure if Chappy will be pressing charges against them or not-"_

"I'm sorry, both? Them? You mean more than one of my kids attacked this guy?"

"_Um, sir, first off, Chappy is a rabbit. And secondly, it was an, ummm...Ichigo Kurosaki?"_ Mark's head sunk even lower, and he just nodded.

"Yep, more than one of my kids..."

"_I'm sorry? Did you adopt?"_

"No, but I'm sure he'll be my son-in-law soon enough. Anyway, what exactly do ya'll expect me to do about it? My wife and I are on our honeymoon. In Barbados. Which, if you've covered that yet in your high school curriculum, since I'm SURE you're still enrolled in a high school somewhere, you know is very far away."

_In fact, that was kinda the whole point of GOING to Barbados..._

"_O-Oh. Well then, in that case, we're gonna need SOME kind of adult to come and take her home from school. School policy."_

"Can she stay there for eight more days, then? Because THAT'S when we'll be back."

"_Uhhhh-" _Suddenly, there was a loud noise in the background, followed by instantly recognizable shouting.

Mark just sighed and hung up. "Isshin's there."

Miya smirked at him. "Wish you'd kept your phone back in the hotel NOW, huh?" He shook his head before tossing his phone into the sand near them. "You have NO idea."

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

Peyton fidgeted with Ichigo's fingers as the young chick behind the Main Office desk chatted up her dad.

"He's gonna be PISSED," She muttered.

He smirked. "You should've thought about that BEFORE you punched that dumbass." Her temple throbbed with an indignant noise. "Ex-CUSE me? His head just 'happened' to land in the dead center of my chest? And he just 'HAPPENED' to not make any effort to remove himself? I was simply helping him, is all. BESIDES, not only was it FLIPPING CHAPPY THE EVIL RABBIT, but _you_ beat the crap out of him too!"

"Only because he deserved it!"

"Exactly!"

"O-Oh. Well then, in that case, we're gonna need SOME kind of adult to come and take her home from school. School policy," The girl was saying.

That caught her attention. She smirked evilly, looking at Ichigo. "Guess who the only adult left around is?"

He paled dangerously. "N-No. Not...Not NANAW!"

"YES NANAW!"

_**BAM! CLATTER!**_

"ICHIGOOOO, MY SOOOONNN! YOUR BELOVED FATHER IS HERE TO BAIL YOU OUT!" Isshin declared, spreading out his arms dramatically.

The chick behind the desk sweatdropped. "Uhhh..." She looked at her phone funny before huffing. "He hung up on me...!"

Ichigo snickered. "Like father like daughter, huh?" Peyton elbowed him in the ribs, and he groaned. "DAMMIT! ...Okay, I had that coming."

"Ya think?"

"I do, actually."

"You think correctly. FOR ONCE."

Before Ichigo could reply, Isshin had picked Peyton up and was currently swinging her around like a prized stuffed animal he had just won at a fair. "MY WONDERFUL BELOVED NEW DAUGHTER KNOCKED HIS LIGHTS OUT! I'M SO PROUD! I'VE WANTED TO DO THAT FOR SUCH A LONG TIME!"

"I thought you _liked_ Chappy," Peyton managed to get out while gasping for air.

"Oh, I do! ...I just love to see the guy that you BEAT UP suffer!" He replied cheerfully. Ichigo sweatdropped. "Dad...That WAS temporarily Chappy. Chappy's just a random human in a suit."

Isshin suddenly froze, still holding Peyton, his lower lip trembling. "You...You _lie_!"

"Nope. Tell him, Peyton."

"DON'T DRAG ME INTO THIS, ICHIGO KUROSAKI!"

Suddenly, Isshin was sobbing into Peyton's shoulder. "OOOOHHHH NOOOOOES! PEYTON, TELL ME HE LIES! MASAKI, OH MASAKI, ONLY A MONTH OR SO AWAY FROM OUR ANNUAL VISIT AND OUR SON PROVIDES ME WITH ONE MORE MISFORTUNE TO SHARE WITH YOU!"

The girl behind the desk looked up as Ichigo sighed and stomped over to her. "I'll sign his signature. I forge it all the time."

She just nodded and slid the check-out sheet towards him. She then pointed at the door he had flung open earlier. "...He's gonna have to pay the fee for replacing those blinds."

Peyton glared daggers at Ichigo as she continued to comfort his father. "You...WILL...die!" She hissed at him.

He gulped and rushed them out. "U-Uhhh, why don't we go apologize to Chappy so we don't get any charges pressed against us!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"I still don't understand why he didn't fight back," Peyton muttered as they waited anxiously for their medicated victim to regain consciousness.

"I mean, was he just too surprised or something?"

"Peyton, the REASON behind that would be the same reason I didn't shoot you when you murdered my hat all those months ago," Urahara replied weakly from the hospital bed.

"Which would be?"

"Too many witnesses. If I were to kill you, I'd be much more creative than THAT."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Maybe if you didn't DO STUPID SHIT, you wouldn't have a NEED to kill me!"

He sat up after a few minutes of struggle. "Now THAT'S not fair! Kurosaki there does stupid shit all the time! All he gets is attention and affection!" Urahara whined.

"That's because I'm badass, Hat-And-Clogs," Ichigo replied, wrapping an arm around Peyton's shoulders.

She smiled innocently. "In my defense, I'm terrified of Chappy. Knowing that, I dunno what the HELL gave you the dumbass idea to dress up like him for MY sex ed class! Targeting the two of us like that..."

"Why'd you do it, anyways?" Ichigo wondered.

Urahara shrugged. "Extra money to smuggle supplies so I can make my merchandise would be nice, wouldn't it?"

"So you chose to dress like CHAPPY?" They asked in unison.

His temple throbbed. "UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO PRESS CHARGES, STOP QUESTIONING MY WAYS! ...I am older, and go to bed earlier, and rise earlier. Therefore I am healthier, wealthier, and wiser. So...NEH."

Peyton gasped. "You used my word!"

"I don't see your NAME on it!" Urahara replied. She stuck her tongue out at him, and Ichigo sighed as they started making faces at each other and going "Nnnnnhhh!".

"CHILDREN!"

They blinked at him innocently, and Peyton shook her head at the mental image she got of him disciplining children. "You as a dad? Funny." Urahara burst out laughing at that. "Could you IMAGINE! Oh, the HORROR!"

Ichigo's temple throbbed, and he secretively pushed the button used to up the dosage of meds. Within moments, kisuke Urahara was fast asleep and drooling all over his pillow.

"Oh, look at that, poor guy's exhausted," Ichigo said innocently. Peyton just laughed before kissing him. "Thanks for defending my honor today."

"What honor?"

_**BAM!**_

* * *

The month of May passed by generally uneventful, as did most of June. Well, then again, it's hard to live up to seeing Ichigo Kurosaki and Peyton Cullen beat the crap out of a poor guy in a Chappy suit while Rukia threatened to kill them from the corner, in which she hid behind Renji in despair.

It wasn't until about the second week or so of June that things really got eventful again. Well, besides the occasional Hollows and whatnot.

Peyton noticed that as Monday grew nearer, Ichigo got more and more distant. At first she thought it was just her and her hormones.

Then she figured it was probably just the fact that it was close to Monday and _so _close to getting out for summer break.

But why was the same thing happening to Karin and Yuzu, too?

And then he didn't show up at school Monday. Even weirder? No one asked her where he was, which was strange since usually people immediately asked HER for information.

It was almost as if everyone knew but her. She hated it when that happened. "...Am I the only one who doesn't know where Ichigo is?" She finally asked when even MS. OCHI didn't seem surprised by his absence.

Everyone within a five-seat-radius gaped at her. "...You mean...You don't know?" One girl asked, almost as if she SHOULD know.

"Know what?"

"Today's June 15th," Orihime prompted. Peyton just blinked at her, and Tatsuki nudged her. "Today's the day Masaki died."

Oh God. She felt like a total idiot. "...Oh. OH! Right. I-I knew that...I just thought today was the 14th, is all," She muttered as her face got hotter and hotter.

The room erupted into whispers, and she sank lower into her chair. Holy crap. She was officially the worst girlfriend EVER.

"Asking the obvious, but how did you forget THAT?" Tatsuki wondered. "He never told me! That was the one thing he virtually never talked to me about," She hissed defensively, trying to hide behind her hair.

It wasn't working.

Rukia patted her shoulder understandingly, making her feel about five millimeters better. But she still felt like the worst girlfriend ever – no, scratch that. The worst _best friend_ ever, too. And she was supposed to be awesomesauce in both areas!

Shinji let out a low whistle. "Bummer. Must suck to realize the one thing he didn't tell you was the major thing everyone else knew, huh?"

Peyton's temple throbbed menacingly.

"It's not like he told YOU, Shinji!" Toshiro snapped. "I didn't say he did. I just happen to pay attention," He replied casually.

She sighed miserably and let her head bang against the desk. Her hand then shot straight up, looking a bit weird since her hair was currently spilled all over the desk every which way.

"MS. OCHI, I'M GONNA HURL!"

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

Ichigo couldn't help but look over his shoulder every five seconds, half-expecting Rukia or some other Soul Reaper or Vizard to shout his name.

In the meantime, he was plenty occupied with dodging the pinecones Dad kept kicking everywhere in his "Improvised Newly-Annual Kurosaki Family Soccer Match, Featuring Newly-Designed Balls".

After hearing Dad shout "HUSSLE! HUSSLE!" for the eighty-millionth time, Karin finally kicked a pinecone straight into his mouth with a growl.

"SHUT YOUR FACE FOR A SECOND, WILL YA? WE'RE GOING TO A CEMETARY, SHOW SOME DAMN RESPECT!" She shouted at the top of her lungs.

Ichigo sweatdropped. "...Well, THAT'S a bit hypocritical."

"SHUT UP!"

"DEAR CHILDREN, let us not argue! Like wonderful little Karin said-"

A demonic aura momentarily surrounded his sister. "I. Am. AVERAGE SIZE." Dad waved his hands in surrender. "O-Of course, bad choice of words! ...As wonderful _average-sized_ Karin said, this IS a cemetary..."

Ichigo eyed his dad suspiciously. Isshin Kurosaki...respecting rules of normal society?

Dad suddenly plopped onto the ground, strapping on some tapdancing shoes. "WE MUST DANCE ON THEIR GRAVES!"

"WHAAAAT?" Everyone shrieked, doing Spazzy Wet Noodle Dances as they neared the cemetary entrance.

"To celebrate their lives, of course! I'm sure their daily graveyard life could use some spicing up!" He exclaimed defensively, skipping his way through the gate.

Ichigo sighed and stomped off in the opposite direction, deciding to wait and visit mom until AFTER that dumbass was done cursing the entire family name. "...I should've known. It was too good to be true."

_**

* * *

**_

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

After nearly throwing up FOR REAL while debating whether to go to the cemetary or not, Peyton decided she didn't give a damn that Ichigo didn't tell her about his mom's death.

As his friend, she should be there at least to show some respect. Besides, he would be the only one that might have a problem with it, that much she knew.

On her way there, she wondered what happened to his mom, anyways. _He never did tell me...Which is kinda weird, since I told him pretty much everything I knew about MY mom's death. But...I don't care, nope. If he wanted to tell me, he would._

Finally, she neared the cemetary, making her sigh in relief for whatever reason. Peyton was immediately greeted by the sound of someone making banjo music with their mouth.

She sweatdropped as she saw the source of the noise: Isshin making banjo music with his mouth, a harmonica in his hand, as he did some kind of jig over someone's grave.

Karin and Yuzu were a little ways off, and though she couldn't see them all that well, she knew they weren't in the best shape.

She tried to creep past Isshin unnoticed, but like THAT was gonna happen. He let out that infamous drawn-out gasp of his and dropped his harmonica, running over to her.

"Peyton, my dear! You're here too!" She smiled before getting bombarded with a hug. "I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU! I COULD USE THE SUPPORT!"

Peyton made motions with her hands frantically. "Shhh! Keep your voice down!" He set her down, making her sway a little from the head rush.

"Right, right. Peaceful and calm cemetary. Got it." Peyton looked at the discarded harmonica, then looked at him. "...Nice shoes."

He clacked them together happily. "Aren't they the best? I got 'em at PAYLESS! They were in Yuzu and Karin's sizes, but I just chose the biggest pair they had and squeezed my big Old Man's Feet into 'em!"

Peyton sweatdropped. "Awesomesauce. Well, uh, don't let me interrupt, I'll just be over there..." He beamed at her before grabbing his harmonica and resuming his bizarre dance routine.

She watched him for a second before shaking her head quickly and walking over towards Karin and Yuzu.

Yuzu looked a little flushed, her eyes brimming with tears. Karin had an arm around her shoulder, looking indifferent.

From what Ichigo told her, Karin hadn't cried since mom died. Except for one time, and that was about some kind of possessed parrot.

She remembered because it was one of the few times Ichigo even _mentioned_ his mom to her. Karin looked up after hearing her step on a twig, looking just in time to see Peyton jump and hiss down at her feet "Stupid TWIG!".

She sweatdropped, drawing Yuzu's attention as well. Peyton noticed them staring, and she waved. "Yo."

"W-What're you doing here?" Yuzu asked in that same sniffly-nearly-breathless voice that Peyton used when she was upset and trying not to be.

She smiled and shrugged. "Thought I'd pay my respects. I don't wanna intrude or anything..." Karin sweatdropped. "What is this, the Colonial Era? You're not 'intruding,' Elizabeth Swann, I promise."

Yuzu giggled a little, and Peyton sat on her knees by Masaki's grave. "Your mom was beautiful," She commented, studying the picture.

It was a bit different from the poster, to say the least. For one thing, it wasn't worn and dented from constantly getting a head banged against it or hands ran over it.

Both girls nodded. "Yeah, she was. Ichigo really knew that better than anybody." Peyton glanced up at Yuzu, who smiled. "Y'know, Papa's told me that Mom was the only person who could make Ichigo stop crying. He'd always be holding her hand or at least nearby. She was...his whole world, basically," She explained thoughtfully.

Peyton quickly turned back to the picture, blinking really fast. She had no idea why that made her nearly cry, but it did. "I wish I knew what to say," She muttered quietly. Yuzu sat on her knees too. "Just talk to her. That's what I do sometimes, in my head."

"Hmmm...Why talk in your head when you have a perfectly good picture of her to talk to? I mean, who knows, what if she can't hear you clearly enough over all those angels and whatnot practicing their new songs or something?"

Karin sweatdropped, but Yuzu gaped at her as if she were a genius. "You're RIGHT!"

* * *

Ichigo decided after having time to walk a huge-ass circle around the cemetary and battle three Hollows, it was safe to go back to Mom's grave.

Before he could even see her grave yet, he heard the familiar sound of Karin chewing Dad out. He must've been serious about the tapdancing.

As he got closer, he noticed one extra person there. She was sitting on her knees next to Yuzu, talking animatedly.

Ichigo watched Peyton in disbelief and slight amusement, not realizing Karin had stopped yelling. "She's been talking for two and a half hours," She commented from his right, making him jump about a foot.

"Gah! Jeez, WARN me next time! ...Wait, her and Yuzu have been talking for two and a half hours? About WHAT?"

Karin shrugged. "Whatever mom missed. And Peyton introduced herself and stuff."

Ichigo scratched his head thoughtfully. "So, waaaait...They've been talking to MOM this whole time?"

She nodded. "Yep. Peyton hasn't shut up the whole time." He couldn't help but laugh a little, and Karin glanced at their sister.

"She hasn't cried yet today. Not really. She almost did while Dad was too busy gravedancing like a moron to notice, but...then Peyton showed up and kept her occupied with helping her tell mom everything she's missed since our last visit."

He knew it sounded incredibly sappy and all, but watching Peyton talk to his mom's grave and keeping Yuzu happy made him...well, it kind of felt like his heart swelled up in his chest. He didn't really know a better way of describing it.

Karin sweatdropped. "Bro, you look like you're about to cry. And what the hell's with that sappy look on your face?"

Ichigo cleared his throat and turned his face in the opposite direction. "U-Uhhh, I have no idea what you're talking about!"

She rolled her eyes. "Of course not. How foolish of me." "Indeed it was. I'll let it slide this time, Karin, but jeez."

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIFTEEN ****MINUTES LATER...**_

Karin's temple throbbed as Yuzu FINALLY managed to conclude her talk to Masaki uninterrupted, mere seconds before Isshin shouted Ichigo's name yet again.

Peyton winced as the dark-headed twin shouted from right by her poor ear, "DAD, SCREW ICHIGO! HE'S SIXTEEN, WHO CARES WHERE HE IS?"

She wondered if he knew she was here. Was that why he hadn't shown up since she got there?

Yuzu squeezed her shoulder as if reading her thoughts before rising and standing beside Karin. "He never shows up while we're here anymore. He usually waits until at least Papa's gone."

Peyton nodded, getting up as well. "Oh. Well...I think I should probably go see _my _mom while I'm here. I'll see ya'll later."

They nodded, and Karin ran after her father to keep him from seeing Peyton and glomping the crap out of her again. Yuzu smiled at her. "Thank you for coming. If it means to him HALF as much as it means to me and Karin – which I'm sure it does – you'll DEFINITELY be making love tonight."

Peyton turned bright red, clashing horribly with her hair, and Yuzu just giggled before running her fingers over Masaki's picture. "Till next year, mom," She muttered happily before running after her twin sister.

Peyton shook her head quickly, trying to keep the blush down. "Even when it's the last thing on my mind, someone ALWAYS mentions me getting laid..."

* * *

She took her sweet time going to Mom's grave. It was towards the base of the hill on which Masaki's grave was located, her gray marbled tombstone facing towards the river that ran through Karakura Town.

How ironic that the first and last thing her mom saw (if she were still hanging around her grave for whatever reason) every day was the place where she died.

Finally, she reached the gravesite of "Stephanie Cullen – Unforgettable Wife, Friend, & Mother".

Peyton kneeled in the grass once again, crossing her arms and trying not to yawn out of respect. Mom and Dad always used to laugh when she yawned, because she made a weird squeaky noise at the end like her mother.

"I met Ichigo's mom today. I'm sure she was a nice person- she sure was beautiful. Of course, not as pretty as you momma, but I think that's kinda a biased opinion. Me and Yuzu decided from now on when we visited our mommas, we'd talk to 'em out loud, just in case you couldn't hear us from wherever you are. Soul Society, heaven, whatever."

Peyton paused, squinting in thought. "Hmm, what've you missed? Well, I dunno HOW much you missed, 'cause for all I know, that shooting star you set off for my birthday and when I was abducted could've meant you've been watching the whole time. If THAT'S true, then I guess you haven't missed much. Although I beat the crap outta Chappy a few weeks back. Just thought you should know- I know you hated his guts too."

Of course, Mom hated him simply because she had to lug Peyton home after she passed out from fear at that STUPID party of Lindsay's all those years ago.

But how was SHE to know that some giant rabbit with a weird voice would be at the party, all in her face, asking stupid questions and being booming-loud? Everyone failed to mention _that _to the youngest Cullen, jeez!

She was suddenly grabbed by the waist and kissed, and Peyton smiled. "You're lucky I can recognize your reiatsu at the drop of a hat, or I would've roundhoused you."

"While on your knees."

"Yep. Because once you're as ninja as me, you know secret ways to do those things, Ichigo."

He rolled his eyes, an arm still around her waist. "If anyone asks, you never saw me today. I was home puking my guts out," Peyton informed him.

"Oh, about that. How the hell did you figure out where I was?"

"Because everyone _else _informed me once I had no idea where the hell you were."

He winced. "I'm so sorry I never told you much about her...I meant too, but..."

Peyton shrugged as he tucked some hair behind her ear. "It doesn't bother me. I told you about my mom 'cause I wanted to, and I figured when you wanted to, you'd tell me about yours."

"...We were walking home from my dojo, -" He was cut off by Peyton sighing. "You don't have to tell me, seriously, it doesn't bug me-" He interrupted HER this time by covering her mouth with his hand.

"Jeez, Peyton, not everything's about you. I just wanna tell you, so can I tell you without you interrupting?" He asked with mock annoyance.

* * *

She huffed from beneath his hand, making him roll his eyes. "Anyway. I was nine, and she was walking me home from my dojo. I'd been seeing ghosts my whole life, but I was so young that most of the time I couldn't tell the difference...There was a girl. She was standing by the river, and it was higher than usual 'cause there was a lot of rain lately. It was still a little rainy that day, actually."

He paused, his face getting that distant look. "I thought she was about to jump in, so of course I figured with my karate skills I could save her. ...Though, I don't think karate's really a good thing to know when it comes to swimming. ...Actually, I don't know what I thought I could do to help her, I just _had _to, you know?"

She nodded.

"Mom tried to get me to stop, but I was so worried about the girl...I just wanted to save her, but...when I got there, it was like I was forced to move in slow-motion and she was moving in fast-forward. It was the weirdest thing...And then I just remember waking up and...my mom was on top of me, all bloodied and..."

He trailed off, and Peyton couldn't help but wrap her arms around him, one across his shoulderblades and the other draped around his neck.

He didn't seem to mind too much.

"...It was a Hollow. Grand Fisher," Ichigo said after a while. "He used illusions of whatever he wanted as lures, and he used 'em to catch whatever happens to have the high spiritual pressure that he wanted. That day, it was me, and I fell for it completely, like a dumbass."

"You were nine, how were you supposed to know?" She replied gently.

"I dunno. But I should've." Peyton didn't question his screwed-up logic; she still had thoughts like that about Mom's death too.

"...Y'know, the weird thing was, I think I expected her to come back. I just figured, 'No, she can't just leave me like that. She'll be back.' And from the day after she died, for a long time afterward, I'd skip school from time to time. I'd go down to the riverbank, to the exact spot where she died, and I'd walk up and down the whole length of it 'till night came around. I wouldn't stop if I could help it, and if I did I'd be right back up as soon as I could. I think I was scared that if I stayed in one spot for too long I'd miss her if she showed up or something..."

He shook his head. "I mean, I think I always knew she wouldn't come back, but at the same time...I had to look. I had to."

She nodded, and tried not to squeak spastically when his hand suddenly touched the small of her back before pulling her into his lap.

"What, you want me to tell you what I want for Christmas? Jeez, Ichigo, it's not even really summer yet."

He grinned and ALMOST laughed; mission accomplished. He kissed the side of her face and the top of her head. "Thanks. For what you did with Yuzu earlier. I saw her skipping home and fricking HUMMING on my way over here."

Peyton smiled. "You're definitely welcome. Though I didn't do it for you," She informed him matter-of-factly.

"Oh. WELL then. I see how it is, Peyton."

"Good, 'cause I wouldn't want you to be totally clueless or anything."

"Good, 'cause I'm not."

"Anymore."

"Ever!"

"Uh-huh."

"Don't say it like that, all sarcastic-y and...and all. That's supposed to be the way I say things to YOU."

"You don't OWN that tone!"

"I'm still working on it, gimme some time, getting trademarks on things doesn't just happen overnight y'know!"

"Well, in the meantime, _I'm _gonna use it, so NEH."

He rolled his eyes and stood up, taking her with him. "Fine. You're lucky I'm not charging a fine every time you use it."

"It's because you love me."

"Yep."

She grinned and, after a little shifting (because she was SHORT, there, she admitted it), kissed his cheek.

"I'm glad you told me. I...It's nice to know what days I have to be extra nice to you on," She murmured, her lips still on his cheek.

Knowing that was her own little way of saying 'I'm glad you finally told me, jackass, because I wanna make sure I can help you when you need it, and we all know you're too much of a stubborn ass to ask for it,' Ichigo just grinned.

"You're doing a great job so far."

"It's because I love you!" She declared, waving her arms for emphasis.


	97. The Notebook, The Bite, & Driving

**Hey guys. I had this completed last night, and I'm sorry I didn't post it sooner. I just got back from Disney World this past Saturday...or was it Friday...Thursday? Fuck if I know. **

**But anyway. I, um...I'm gonna post the cakes and stuff with Ichigo and Rukia and all later, but for now, I'm just getting this up because I'll feel terrible if I postpone it any longer after going so long without updating this.**

**But right now I got off my bus around 2:50 today to find out my grandmomma's in the ICU on a breathing machine when I just talked to her last night and she sounded fine, if not a little tired, so...yeah, cakes are the last thing on my mind right now.**

**But just to clarify, and you probably already know this, but I really do like those cakes and treats and stuff. It's just...y'know, I'm worried out of my mind and I'm at her house watching the two younger kids (8 and 7, too young to understand and all that. They just think she went to get her shoulder checked since she just had surgery on it yesterday. They're not sure if that has a part in why she has trouble breathing or not, they're still running tests and stuff), so yeah.**

**Me and my grandmomma are really, really, REALLY close...and I usually don't ask for stuff like this...but please just keep her in her thoughts. Please. I think I might rip my hair out if one more person calls me for information. **

**I've gotten back-to-back calls asking what's going on since I got to her house, and do you have ANY idea how hard it is to talk about it when the kids are in the kitchen, the room RIGHT next to you?**

**Yeah.**

**Sorry, ranting.**

**So...read, enjoy. I'll address the cakes and some other subjects (mainly something you probably already know, judging from all the PMs i've been getting about her) in the next chapp. I dunno when I'll be writing really, I dunno if I'll feel like it. Right now my stomach's in knots, but who knows, maybe it'll calm me down. Until next time?**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

Peyton trudged up the stairs, eyes half-lidded, completely exhausted. It was dark out, and she was just now getting home.

Thank GOD Nanaw was asleep already, that's all she had to say. Miya and Dad decided to extend their honeymoon, because _apparently_, that one phone call from the school "threw off the rest of it". Cyeah right.

More like they wanted more alone time. Horny adults with sappy sides were NOT a good combination.

She pushed her door halfheartedly, and as it swung open, she saw Lindsay sitting on her bed.

"THERE you are, P!" She exclaimed with relief. If Peyton hadn't been so dead tired, she'd be screaming in surprise at the moment.

Instead, she just blinked. "...You scared me."

Lindsay sweatdropped. "Why the hell are you so tired, huh?" Peyton sighed and dropped her schoolbag, having gone straight to the cemetary after faking sick. "Let's just say Yuzu was totally right. More than once. I'm surprised I can still stand at the moment. Stupid Ichigo." Her older sister quirked an eyebrow. "Oooo...kay...I guess I probably don't wanna know."

Peyton shook her head. "No, you really don't."

"So where did you go? Obviously it had something to do with Ichigo and Yuzu?"

"The cemetary."

Lindsay nodded. "Ohhh, right! Masaki died today, like, seven years ago!" Peyton's temple throbbed. "...NO COMMENT on how even _you_ knew that before me."

"_I_ pay attention."

"I'm ignoring that, because I very clearly and loudly said 'NO COMMENT'," her younger sister grumbled as she shrugged off her dissheveled school uniform.

As she turned around to find some pajamas in her drawer, Peyton noticed Lindsay's expression change into one of curiosity.

"Linds, you've seen me in my bra and underwear before, what's so interesting?" Peyton asked distractedly while sliding her drawer open.

"Peyton, is that a bite mark on you?" Lindsay asked with a hint of a laugh. A perverted laugh at that.

Turning dangerously red, she grabbed the first item of clothing she could get her hands on and slipped it on, covering her exposed shoulder.

"N-No!"

"It LOOKED like one. A very HUMAN one!"

"IT WASN'T."

Seth suddenly popped his head in, looking at them. "Did I hear something about a bite mark?"

"NO!" Peyton squeaked rather pathetically, making her siblings smirk. "THAT'S a yes," he replied pleasantly before smirking even bigger at how red his little sister was.

"Jeez, Peyton, who knew you were so _kiiinnnkkyyy_?"

"GET THE HELL OUT!" She shrieked, throwing her shoe at him. Seth started laughing his ass off after she missed by a whole three feet, and just shut the door and continued about his business.

Lindsay was giggling, and giggled even harder as Nanaw suddenly trudged in. "Peyton, dear, I mean this in the nicest way...I would appreciate it if I _didn't _have to hear about you and your Hunk Muffin's sex life while I'm trying to sleep!"

"Blame my siblings! Nanaw, I would LOVE to not talk about it!"

Nanaw grinned rather mischievously. "Only a few weeks until summer. I'M SO EXCITED!" With that said, she left without another word to them.

Although, she left the door cracked open, so they heard her humming some random song with a lot of "Hunk Muffin" mentioned in the lyrics.

Peyton shivered rather violently with horror, and Lindsay pretty much collapsed onto her bed with laughter.

Ironically, Peyton realized she had unknowingly grabbed Ichigo's t-shirt of all things.

_**

* * *

**_

_**AN ****HOUR LATER...**_

"We should really be asleep right now."

"Yep."

With that lengthy dialogue, Lindsay and Peyton continued to devour their huge bucket of Ben & Jerry's Half-Baked; their favorite.

Well, Lindsay also had a soft spot for Phish Food. But her preferences didn't count. Peyton chose the ice cream, Linds chose the movie, that was good enough for them.

And of _course_ she chose The Notebook. The one movie that could make Peyton cry every time she saw it, even when she knew what would happen and kept telling herself the ending.

Lindsay rolled her eyes as Peyton shouted to Allie not to leave. "DON'T LET YOUR PARENTS PUSH YA AROUND LIKE THAT, STAY WITH NOAH SO THAT WHOLE ENGAGEMENT THANG NEVER HASTA HAPPEN!"

She sweatdropped at the thickening of Peyton's accent; a telltale sign of when she was upset or extremely annoyed or angry.

"...You...DO know it's just a movie, right?"

She sighed at her older sister like explaining something simple to a two-year-old. "It's real to THEM, isn't it? What if OUR problems are just part of a movie? Or a video game? Or a story? Just something for other people to watch and comment on or control? HOW WOULD YOU FEEL _THEN_, HUH?"

"...Are you on your period? What is that, your third one this month?"

"I'M _NOT_ ON MY PERIOD, THANKS VERY MUCH!"

Rukia sweatdropped by the front door. "Am I interrupting?" They turned their heads to look at her. "What if you are? You gonna wait outside until we're done?" Peyton asked.

Lindsay crossed her arms thoughtfully. "You must really be worn out if you're being THIS much of a smartass. You wouldn't be cracking so many of 'em if you weren't."

Peyton's temple throbbed. "I _am _tired, actually. I'm just not _sleepy_."

Rukia eyed her suspiciously before shutting the door behind her. "What exactly did you and Ichigo _do_ after getting back from the cemetary?"

"We _just_ screwed around," She said innocently.

Lindsay snickered. "Double meaning, anyone?" Rukia rolled her eyes and slipped off her shoes; Akuma bounded over and dragged one of them back to his lair, tail wagging like crazy.

"What're we watching?"

Peyton grew somber all over again, and actually sniffled a little. "...The Notebook."

"Something tells me Linds picked this one out," Rukia said slowly as she watched the younger Cullen stab her spoon into the Ben & Jerry's bucket before eating it slowly, eyes glued to the movie.

Lindsay sweatdropped. "Gee, what gave it away."

"The emotional wreck over there."

"I AM NOT EMOTIONAL! RAGING EMOTIONS ARE FOR _PERIODS_, AND PERIODS _ONLY_!"

"Then why're you SO DAMN EMOTIONAL?"

Peyton pointed at the tv. "I...It's...It's THE NOTEBOOK, for crying out loud!" She said exasperatedly as if that explained everything.

Rukia slowly shook her head. "...Well...anyway. I came over here to make sure at least ONE of you was studying."

"Studying for what?"

She threw a book at her, and Peyton caught it spastically, making her spoon fly out of her hand and hit Lindsay in the face.

"GAH!"

"That's karma for picking THE NOTEBOOK, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! ...Wait, what _is _this, anyways? A book on driving, it looks like...? ...Oh _crap_. Oh no. I can get my _license_ now! I forgot about that!"

Instead of being ecstatic like any other 16-year-old, Peyton groaned and banged her head repeatedly against the rim of the Ben & Jerry's tub. "Noooo!"

"What the hell?" Rukia wondered. Lindsay sighed. "Peyton doesn't even know how to work a _brake _properly."

She shrugged, waving the sisters off. "Ehhh, how bad could she be?"

_**

* * *

**_

_**FIVE ****WEEKS LATER...**_

"You remember everything?"

"Yep."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"You're absolutely sure?"

"YES, Ichigo, I'm sure."

"Is this your dad's car?"

"Nope, it's Seth's."

Ichigo sighed with relief and handed her the keys. "Oh, good. That means Old Winona's out of the question."

"I wouldn't go thaaat faaar," she replied in a sing-song voice.

"What?"

"Nothing," she said quickly, blinking up at him innocently. Peyton glanced back at Rukia and Nel in the back seat. "Ummm...are you sure they should be here...to witness this...IN the car with us? While _I'm _driving?"

He grinned. "I thought you said you remember everything?"

"I do!" She replied indignantly.

"Well then, think of 'em as...incentive to not forget?"

"Ichigo, just shut up while I try to find the little slot you stick the keys in."

"The ignition?"

"Yeah, that! I just kinda...forgot the name...stop laughing!" Right as she was sticking the keys in the ignition, something hit the top of the car with a _**BANG**_, making everyone jump.

Peyton shrieked and shielded her head reflexively after having it banged against a wall so many times back in that solitary cell with the Iga Clan.

"HANDS ALWAYS ON THE WHEEL!" Ichigo and Rukia shouted, making her jump. "Sorry, jeez!"

Renji slid in through Nel's window, which she had rolled down and was currently using to shout "WHEEE!" even though they weren't moving yet.

Matsumoto, Toshiro, Lindsay, Orihime, Tatsuki, Kon, and Seth were at a safe distance on the overgrown grass of the abandoned mall parking lot in lawn chairs with popcorn.

Ichigo had drove them over there like the expert he was ("If you hotwire cars for a pastime for part of 8th grade, driving skills are kinda required, Peyton."), and now he was making her do the rest.

Stupid Ichigo, knowing how to drive and having to teach her. Now it was as if he had automatically won, dammit!

"Okay, check your mirror. No, the other one. No, that's MY mirror. I meant the rearview mirror." Peyton huffed. "Why didn't you say so? ...Okay, looking...oh, EW, SETH, WHY IS THIS POINTED SO I CAN SEE RIGHT UP RUKIA'S SKIRT?"

Seth turned bright red, Tatsuki turned red with fury, and Orihime sighed and shook her head. Ichigo made a thoughtful noise. "Huh...That's actually a really good idea."

Her temple throbbed. "Considering I won't be anywhere but in the passenger seat when you're driving, you better rethink that statement."

"...CHECK YOUR MIRROR."

"I did! What am I even checking for? The invisible cars to run me over?"

"Nooo, but you always check to make sure your path is clear."

Peyton sweatdropped as a tumbleweed rolled past, as if to prove how abandoned this place was. Toshiro sweatdropped, too. "...Rangiku, you did the research on Karakura Town. Do they even HAVE tumbleweeds here? Oh, wait, THAT'S RIGHT...it's underneath all the damn paperwork you still haven't done!"

Peyton looked at Ichigo, "sarcasm" written all over her face. "Gee, I really just don't know. I'm scared I'll hit someone, this area's always the most congested around this time of year."

His temple throbbed. "Okay, fine, DON'T check your mirror, and we'll see who crashes first, me or you. Alright, start the car."

* * *

"Started," she confirmed after revving the engine to life. Rukia sank low in her seat. "Oh SHIT, we're gonna die."

Seth had sank low in his lawn chair, too. "My poor car...PEYTON, DON'T REV IT SO HARD!"

"HEY, _ICHIGO'S _TEACHING ME, NOT _YOU_!"

"Peyton, don't rev it so hard," Ichigo agreed.

She huffed. "...Fine." Then she looked down spastically. "Alright, which one's the gas...?"

"NOT THAT ONE!" Everyone inside the car screeched, minus Nel, who was still saying "WHEEE!".

Peyton laughed nervously. "Heh...uhhh...KIDDING! Jeez." Ichigo sighed and shook his head. "Great, we really _are _gonna die."

"Hey, _you're_ teaching me, aren't you?" She said sweetly, batting her eyelashes.

"I'm no miracle-worker." Her temple throbbed, and she elbowed him sharply in the gut. "OW, DAMMIT!"

"There's more where that came from if you don't tell me what to do next!"

"Put the gear in drive. That'd be the tiny little 'D' on there."

"I _know _what it stands for," she informed him as she put the gear in drive.

"Now press LIGHTLY on the gas."

Everyone waited for about three minutes, and Peyton looked around. "...Seth, I think your car's broken."

"Maybe it's the operator."

"Someone hit my brother for me!"

Three _**SMACK**_**!**'s echoed throughout the parking lot, followed by Seth whining "Owwwwwiiiieeee!".

Ichigo sweatdropped. "...Peyton, push a little harder, would ya?" She huffed. "Light, hard, make up your mind!"

The car sped up to about forty in three seconds, and everyone screamed bloody murder. "OHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIT!"

* * *

"TURN LEFT!"

_**SCCRRREEECCCHH**_!

"TURNING!"

"DO IT AGAIN!"

_**SCCRRREEECCCHH!**_

"DONE!"

"Gah! Brake, brake, brake, BRAKE, BRAAAKE!"

_**RRRRRRRRKK!**_

Everyone screamed even louder as she came inches away from running over Toshiro. Matsumoto adjusted her 3D glasses Yuzu let her borrow, bouncing excitedly. "Wow, it's like they're close enough to touch!"

Her Captain promptly keeled over, flipping out of his lawn chair with a groan.

"...Wrong way," Ichigo said weakly, halfway out of the seat, his arms and legs sprawled all over the place rather comically.

"You just said 'BRAKE' fifty times, how was I supposed to know?" She said defensively.

"Typically, when driving, we don't aim for PEOPLE!"

Everyone was panting heavily, Peyton included. Nel was screaming "WHEEE! Itsygo, make her do that AGAIN!", and finally, Peyton grinned. "...That...was AWESOME! C'mon, let's do that again!"

"NO!" Everyone shouted.

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****HOURS LATER...**_

"AAAAAnd put it in park."

"Parked."

"And you're done."

"...What?" She asked with a yawn.

"You're. Done."

"No, I heard you, but...what?"

"I...didn't know the phrase 'You're done' had multiple meanings," Ichigo said with a sweatdrop. Peyton smacked him upside the head lightly. "Alright, smartass, watch it."

"What, no thank you?"

Peyton opened her mouth to reply, but glanced at the abandoned parking lot instead. It was dark except for maybe two street lamps that weren't broken in the area (one of which were flickering), and everyone else had left, leaving three lawn chairs and some random trash bits behind.

She grinned and rolled up her window, unbuckling her seat belt slowly and deliberately. "Oh, you'll _get _a thank you."


	98. Sneezing, San Diego, & A Countdown!

**Me: BACK!**

**Ichigo: Took long enough. **

**Rukia: (Smacks him upside the head) Be nice! **

**Me: Yeah! I was sick, my grandmomma was sick...shit, even my fricking COMPUTER got a virus!**

**Ichigo: ...Oh. Right. Forgot. Sorry! **

**Rukia: You SHOULD be sorry.**

**Me: (Sweatdrops) ...Anyway. Thanks for ya'll's concern, and she got released from ICU this past Thursday. However, she still has clotting problems and she'll be on blood thinners for 6 month minimum. But oddly enough, one of my reviewers, axl88x? Their grandma ALSO went to the hospital. She had a stroke last Saturday. Please keep them in your thoughts, alright? From what they told me, she seems to be doing a little better, but they're not outta the woods yet. So keep them in your thoughts.**

**Ichigo: You already said that.**

**Me: (Throws gauntlet) HEY, STOP POINTING OUT MY MISTAKES FOR ONCE, WOULD YA? ...(Clears throat) Ahem. Anyway. I also wanna address something else. I've gotten a lot of PMs about SexyLightningFox x3 and their story American Girl. **

**Ichigo: (Growls) That little fucking b-**

**Me: HEY! ...Okay, yes, we read it. And it was...pretty...um, yeah. Read the 1st chapp and you'll understand my lack for words. She wrote another chapp and put a different twist on it, and hopefully she won't write stuff similar to Dude again.**

**Rukia: I kinda feel bad for her...if she does, she's gonna have a huge angry mob, I bet...**

**Everyone: (Shudders at the thought)**

**Carmen: Ehhhh, plagiarism is a no-no! Let's hope she doesn't do it!**

**Ichigo: Three strikes and you're out, SexyLightningFox x3!**

**Me: GUYS! Threats are NOT what I intended! Just...as long as she takes her story in a different direction, I won't report her. But if the plot looks too similar, what with that first chapp...I'm sorry, but that's just too coincidental. I might have to report that. ...And on THAT cheerful note...CAKE TIME! **

**Kon: (Runs in with cake cart) MISTRESS MANDY, I'M FINALLY BACK! **

**Me: YAY! ...Although Pyramid Head was pretty awesome.**

**Ichigo and Me: (Bow heads respectfully) He will be sorely missed.**

**Me: CAKE NUMBER ONE!**

**Kon: YAY! **

**(Cake Number One is for Chapp 96, from Squee. It's an awesomesauce cake with Peyton & Ichigo in the cemetary and Stephanie & Masaki above them smiling. With it is a note written on cool flashy paper)**

**Ichigo: (Plucks note off cake after we snap pics of the cake) "Enjoy this cake! PS-THANK JOO ICHIGO 'ISHMAEL' KUROSAKI FOR DOING THAT TO BIEBER! x3". Awesomesauce, that finally went appreciated!**

**Rukia and Carmen: (Deadly auras) So you WERE behind that!**

**Ichigo: Uhm...N-No! Pfft! I just...WISH I had! Because...I DIDN'T, OKAY, HONEST!**

**Me: (Snickering) Uh-huh. Suuuure. **

**Ichigo: Hey, YOU stay outta this, you little-**

**Me: CAKE NUMBER TWOOOO!**

**Kon: AYE-AYE, MISTRESS MANDY! (Wheels in cake)**

**(Cake Number Two is for chapp 96 also, from ShatterTheHeavens. It's two cakes back-to-back, with lots of cookies around them. One shows Urahara getting chased by Peyton wielding a spiked mace, and Ichigo with Zangetsu. The other has Isshin & his family at the cemetary while he gravedances in his fancy Payless shoes.)**

**Me: ALSO, I have an announcement for the general residents of Karakura, or those who plan on visiting! It's from Dude! (Reads off slip of paper in Announcer Voice like on the radio) Ahem:**

**"Stop by the newly-reopened bar across the street from the Urahara shop (You know the one with all the drunk Visards in it? The bar tender? That's me, Dude)! If any of you guys want cheap, high-quality, moderately-illegal alcohol, you know where to find me. 15% discount if you're supernatural, free bottle of tequilla with every purchase over 75 dollars, drinks are free for Mandy and Peyton (Mandy because she controls the fabric of space and time, and Peyton because she's awesomesauce and she keeps her boyfriend from destroying my shop, AGAIN)!"**

**Ichigo: That was ONE time, do it ONCE, and people NEVER LET IT GOOO!**

**Carmen: ...(Shakes head) You're such a sad, strange, admittedly fit, rather hot young man.**

**Ichigo: Totally taken, Carmen.**

**Carmen: DAMMIT!**

**Me: ...Anyway. ON WITH THE CAKES!**

**Kon: INDEEEEED! (Cake Number Three is for chapp 96, from Mer. It resembles a stair case on all four sides. It has 3 'steps'. On the second 'step' are Rukia and Ichigo chibi figures arguing. On the top step is a Master Mandy chibi figure wearing a crown, holding a 'JB SUCKS!' sign, smiling brightly. On the side of the first step is "The A/N Crew" inscribed in jelly beans. It comes with a huge, typed-up, neatly rolled note on parchment.)**

**Me: (Takes note after snapping pics) Ahem. "Hi Mandy! Its been a while since I reviewed! Sorry for not doing it before and I hope you like the cake! I'm sending Homicide's offspring to you, too. I think they have something against the color of my hair. They just go beserk when they see anything black... but they'll calm down if they see bright colors. Like Ichigo's hair. Sometimes I really wish they were color blind. So anyway, they listen to commands and are really sweet when they're sane. Bye!**

-Mer*"

**Me: Well, where ARE the off...spring... (Eye twitches at the sight)**

**Ichigo: (With owlets perched on his head and nibbling at it happily) GAH! GET 'EM OFFFFF!**

**Rukia: Wow, Peyton's gonna love those!**

**Ichigo: SCREW PEYTON, GET 'EM OFF! THEIR CLAWS ARE SHARP!**

**Me: ...What a wuss. Well, uh...on with the cakes?**

**Kon: Okay! (Runs to grab Cake Number Four)**

**Me: (Tries to untangle an owl from Ichigo's hair) Awwww, it got stuck! **

**Ichigo: (Growling)**

**Kon: TA-DAAA!**

**(Cake Number Four is for chapp...uh, one, it looks like. From SexyLightningFox X3, of all people!  
It's a seven-stacked cake with different shapes for each layers. The first layer is a diamond-shaped cake covered with white fondent. It spells out in orange icing: Let's Make Truce! The second layer is circlular and covered in green fondent with chappy faces all over it. It spells in blue icing: Rukia You ARE AWESOME!**

**The third layer is spherical and covered in yellow fondent. There's also a picture of Peyton holding a trophy that says: I'M AWESOMER THAN RUKIA! The fourth layer is covered in white fondent and has a picture of Mandy enjoying the cake with a side of strawberry milk and Ichigo who's atemptting to steal aforementioned milk but failing horribly. **

**The fifth layer is cubical and has Sexy Lightning Fox crying at her computer screen after reading my first review for her first chapp. The sixth layer is pyramidial and covered in orange fondent. It has SexyLightningFox ...again, laughing and enjoying chocolate ice cream with stawberries and whipped cream, reading my SCEOND review for her SECOND chapp. **

**The seventh and final layer is a multicolor-fondent-covered square cake and has in 3-D the words (bright and colorful!) FRUITS BASKET!, and in a smaller corner BLEACH!, and underneath it in purple icing spells: "Dude, What's With The Robe" is AWESOMER Than "American Girl!")**

**Me: ...I promise I did not make that up.**

**Ichigo: Are you SURE you didn't make this? (Eyeing cake suspiciously) And if it's hers, maybe it has a bomb in it! Didya ever think of that? HUH?**

**Me: ...(Kicks him into a wall) SHUT THE FUCK UP WHILE I PROPOSE MY IDEA!**

**Ichigo: (Groans) No problem...**

**Rukia: Idea? What idea?**

**Me: About Dude. Okay, so in this chapp, an idea is proposed by Ichigo. I'm thinking of making his idea into a little side story, instead of adding it to this EPICALLY LONG fic here. And then, after that one's over, just coming back to pick up where we left off on Dude. Just read, and tell me what you think through a review.**

**Rukia: And, ABOVE ALL...**

**Me, Ichigo, Rukia, Carmen, Kon, and Chuck Norris back in his epic flat in wherever he's currently living: ENJOOOOOOYY!  
**

"Hey...Ichigo?"

"Huh?"

"Why do people close their eyes when they sneeze?"

Ichigo sweatdropped and looked down at her. They were currently sprawled out in the back of Seth's car, dressed again except for their shoes. Those were back in the front seat, and one of Peyton's was on the dashboard after kicking it off.

"Uhhh...I dunno. I guess it's just some kind of brain reaction."

Peyton huffed. "No, that's a _boring_ answer. There's gotta be something else that causes it."

"Alright. What?"

"I dunno, that's why I asked you. Duh."

His temple throbbed. "...Well, if you had to guess?"

Peyton nibbled on her lip thoughtfully. "Hmm...Maybe...it's 'cause your body...spazzes out?"

"...What?"

"Spazzes out! Wouldn't _you_ be spazzing out if all of a sudden it felt like your head was gonna be blown right off from the inside?"

Ichigo sweatdropped. "That explains why _you_ do that weird spazzy thing before you sneeze."

"What weird spazzy thing?"

"Where your hands wave up and down and you scrunch your nose up."

Peyton huffed. "That's a _totally _normal reaction, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"If it's so normal, how come no one _else _does it!"

"Because they just choose not to! Probably 'cause I look so cool doing it, and no one else wants to even _try_ to compete with my awesomesaucery."

Ichigo laughed and shook his head. "Yeah, that's gotta be it. Definitely." One of his hands around her waist moved under her shirt, tracing the scar on her side. Peyton closed her eyes with a tiny sigh. His hands were always warm.

"Does it ever hurt?" he asked suddenly, which made her huff. Snapping her out of it like that, she had been so content...

"What, the scar?"

"No, the chicken pox," he replied with an eye-roll.

"Stupid head, I've never even _had_ chicken pox before!"

"Which would be why I said it so sarcastically!"

"...Oh. Well then, yeah. It hurts sometimes. Probably because Orihime said there might be some tiny metal fragments lodged in it."

She opened one eye just in time to see Ichigo wince, and she sighed. "Stop doing that."

"Doing what?"

"Feeling responsible for all that Iga Clan crap. It's kinda creepy, Ichigo Kurosaki acting responsibly." She grinned. "Besides. If I hadn't gone through all that, the Iga Clan would still be roaming around killing people, and I wouldn't have cool scars for you to trace and the other girls to stare at in the locker room."

Ichigo sweatdropped. "And that makes you happy? You're serious."

"Yep. Why wouldn't it?" She shifted so she was able to look at him without stretching her neck so much. "Hey, remember when I told ya about that time my Aunt Lynn was in a car wreck years ago?"

"Yeah."

"She had glass and metal shards stuck in her arms and legs, even after surgery. Still has 'em. But her body just grew around some of them and absorbed the rest as nutrients. The same's gonna eventually happen with my shards. So...no problems."

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "That's besides the point! You shouldn't have 'em in the first place." Peyton rolled _her_ eyes this time. "You're a dumbass. You know that, right?"

"So _you_ say."

"'Cause it's _true_." She leaned up and kissed the place where his jaw and neck met. "And for some odd reason, I love you for it. Or in spite of it, I'm not sure which. But sometimes, I wish it were humanly possible to knock some sense into your thick skull."

Ichigo's temple throbbed. "...I wouldn't know how that feels. 'Cause you're not stubborn at ALL, Peyton."

"Nope!"

"Deeniaaaall," he whispered in a really high voice, making her laugh and smack him upside the head.

_**

* * *

**_

_**THREE ****WEEKS LATER...**_

"And so there you have it! That's how you..."

_**TAP-TAP-TAP**_

"Turn a...chemical reaction into..."

_**TAP-TAP-TAP-TAP-TAP-TAPPITY-TAP**_

"A DIFFERENT COLOR!" Ms. Ochi concluded, temple throbbing. All the kids in her homeroom were currently either bouncing in their seats, tapping on their desks, talking a mile a minute, or a combination of the three.

And all of them had their eyes glued to the clock. Ms. Ochi sweatdropped. "Ugh. The first and last days of school are always the worst...OKAY! LET THE COUNTDOWN COMMENCE IN T-MINUS THREE MINUTES!" She declared, eyes on the clock as well.

Personally, she was beyond ready to go out and do shots with her fiance at TGI Friday's as a "Welcome To Karakura, Summertime!" celebration.

The only one that looked depressed was Ichigo. Peyton rolled her eyes at him. "Look, Nanaw probably doesn't even _realize_ we're out of school for the summer today."

He just groaned, letting his head bang against the desk. "Do we even have to mention her _name_? Why'd you do that in the first place, anyways? Promising her some _alone time _with me, what the hell?"

"Because it was _funny _as hell," Peyton said with a laugh. He just groaned some more, and she rubbed his shoulders like a good girlfriend.

"You suck, Peyton."

"You wish."

"Oh, you wanna go _there_, huh!"

"Not really."

"...Hey."

"What?"

"I still have those tickets."

"What tickets?"

"For Social Distortion. And guess when the big finale show is?"

"When?"

"July 15th." He looked up from his desk (_Are those tear stains or drool stains?_ Peyton wondered with a sweatdrop) to grin at her. "Almost like they planned that, huh?"

She nodded slowly in agreement. "Yeah..." Then she sighed and looked down at him. "What's the catch?"

"It's kinda...in America."

"Where?"

"San Diego."

"As in...San Diego, California?"

"No, the San Diego in Persia."

Peyton sighed at his sarcasm, then shrugged. "I could try and book a flight for that. I fly free, and we still have, like, two buddy passes. ...Yeah. I could do that. Miya and Dad won't be coming home 'till July 18th."

Ichigo grinned. "I got a _better _idea." She groaned and sat on her knees beside his desk. "I hate it when you say that. They always end up screwing me over in some way. ...Alright, I wanna hear it!"

He sweatdropped, then grinned again. "Okay, so we fly over to Memphis –"

"Why Memphis?"

"Isn't Seth goin' home in four days so he can go to the University of Memphis? And doesn't he have a car that he left back home when you guys first moved here?"

"...Maaaybe...What does all _that _haveta do with anything?"

"We take his car and DRIVE to San Diego!" he announced as if it were the most brilliant plan ever.

Peyton eyed him as if concerned for his mental health. "...Wait...lemme get this straight. We fly to Memphis?"

"We fly to Memphis."

"We take Seth's car..."

"Yeah."

"Wait, why would he let us use his car in the first place?"

Ichigo folded his hands behind his head, leaning back in his chair and propping his feet up on the desk. "Let's just say he owes me."

Peyton sweatdropped. "...Something tells me I don't wanna know about it. Okay, so even IF Seth let us take his car...I can't drive without running someone over!"

"You haven't run anyone over _yet_!"

"What about Toshiro?"

"He doesn't count, you didn't _actually _hit him."

"I came real close, though!"

"TEN, NINE, EIGHT...!" The class began, and the clock's ticking seemed extra loud.

Ichigo flashed that half-smile of his. Peyton made a face at him as she started instantly reacting, her knees getting weak and her stomach flipping; he hadn't used that smile against her in a long time, and she didn't want him to start now.

"C'moooon, Peyton. You know you wanna. Besides...think of it as extra practice to try and hone your driving skills! And you won't be the only one driving, we can switch out. C'moooon, it'll be cool."

"THREE, TWO, ONE!"

_**RRRRRIIINNNNGG!**_

"SUMMMEEERRRRR!" Everyone cheered, running out of the classroom. Everyone besides Peyton, Ichigo, and Ms. Ochi.

Ms. Ochi was busy packing up her stuff, but was also listening to their conversation with interest.

The two teens had a stareoff, trying to get the other one to relent. Finally, Peyton sighed and shook her head. "I am SO gonna regret this...Fine. You win."

"Road trip?"

"Road trip. On the highway to hell," she added cheerfully.

He grinned and grabbed his bag as she hopped up, waiting for him. "Yeah, that's the spirit."

Ms. Ochi shook her head slowly. "Ichigo Kurosaki and Peyton Cullen...on a road trip. I'll be praying for you two!" she called out after them as they left.

"Thanks!" they shouted back before grinning and tossing the last graded papers of the year into the air, as one _should _on the last day of school.

Peyton just hoped this stupid idea of his wouldn't end badly...

Then again, he WAS a good driver. And she was...moderately...non-life-threatening.

"Enh. What's the _worst _that could happen?" she asked herself as they caught up with their friends.


	99. Highway to Hell: Filler Fic Posted!

**Hey guys! The Filler Fic's been posted as of...uh...two minutes ago or so! Yeah. **

**It's titled "Highway to Hell". Should be easy to distinguish, it's gotta be the only one with "Peyton Cullen" in the Info section XD**

**Check it out! Read, review,-**

**Rukia: ENJOOOOY!**

**Ichigo: (Stomps in) ...Happy now, Midget?**

**Rukia: (Beaming with joy) Yes. So happy, I won't even kick your ass for that last remark! **

**Me: (Eye-twitch) ...Hi. What the hell are y'all doing here?**

**Rukia: For fun.**

**Me: (Long sigh) ...C'mon, let's just head over and do the Author's Note for Highway to Hell, alright?**

**Ichigo: Is that that "filler fic" you tried to explain earlier?**

**Me: (Eye-twitch) Yes. At least you picked THAT up.**

**Ichigo: I pick up lots of things, thanks!**

**Me: Except women!**

**Ichigo: Yeah, 'cause I'm kinda not single dumbass!**

**Me: Oh, and you were such a hit BEFORE!**

**Ichigo: (Scoffs and types on the computer before clicking a couple times and turning the screen towards me and the audience. On it is an Ichigo Kurosaki fangirls' club) ...You were saying?**

**Me: (Monstrous eye-twitch) Why you LITTLE-**

**Rukia: LET'S GO! (Drags me and Ichigo out by our ears as we continue shouting at each other) ENJOOOOY, READERS!**


	100. Home, Marco Polo, and Dumbassery!

**Me: HOLY CRAP! It's been so long since I updated "Dude"! ...It feels nice to do it again. :) **

**Ichigo: Yeah, too bad this is the next-to-last chapter.**

**Me: ...Way to fuck my mood over, Ichigo.**

**Ichigo: Any time!**

**Me: ...Anyway, the jackass is right. See, since the last chapter on this technically wasn't a chapter, but an announcement that I'd posted Highway to Hell, I don't think it'd be fair to end it on this and call it the hundredth chapter. ...Plus, this one was getting really long. SO, I've got one more chapter comin' ya'lls way, and then I'm on to making...**

**Carmen: (comes in with drums)**

**Me: ...What the hell're you doing?**

**Carmen: Drumroll! :D**

**Me: ...Ah, good idea! Drumroll! **

**Rukia: (starts making drum noise)**

**Carmen: (slams away on drums)**

**Ichigo: (Sweatdrops)**

**Me: ...ZE SEQUEL! AAAAWW YEAH! Now, as far as the sequel goes, it's basically picking up more-or-less where Dude's leaving off. Sorta. Maybe a time skip of mere months, if anything. BUT, I do have one thing picking at my brain. SO PAY ATTENTION, BECAUSE YOU MIGHT BE ASKING THIS YOURSELF.**

**Ichigo/Rukia/Carmen: (drop everything and listen)**

**Me: People have been asking me if I intend on bringing Ichigo's fullbring into the sequel. Meaning the whole process in which he's getting his powers back in the current manga arc. If you're not caught up on it, I'd recommend checking out mangastream or something, because I would just confuse you more if I explained it. Basically, my answer to that is - **

**Ichigo: NOOO! I WANNA KEEP MY POWERS! **

**Me: Will you shut up? (sighs) Anyway, I would definitely be interested in doing that, seeing as I find the latest arc to be really fricking suspenseful right now, but the problem with that is that I would have to include Ichigo losing his powers first. And to do that, it would have to include the Winter War. Which, since Ichigo's now 17 thanks to Highway to Hell, wouldn't be correct timeline-wise, because he's only 17 AFTER the time-skip. So basically, I would have to reinvent some other way for him to lose his powers. If I ever got off my lazy ass and did that, then yes, I would do the fullbring thing in a heartbeat. If you wanna see the fullbring thing and have any ideas on how to make that happen, feel free to share - **

**Ichigo: Tch, yeah, please share! She needs all the help she can get.**

**Me: (templethrob) ...SHUT UP. Anyway, ON WITH THE CAKES!**

**Kon: RIGHT! (Wheels in Cake Number One at warp speed. It's from SwirlzSmile, a 3 Layer cake held up by pillars made outta candy. Bottom layer is butter cake, with figures of peyton and ichigo in a car, madly swerving. Middle layer is banana cake, with Miss Ochi looking down at Ichigo and Peyton facepalming, and top layer is chocolate cake with Ichigo finally taking over driving from Peyton, the two successfully dodging a tree.)**

**Ichigo: Funny thing is, that actually pretty much happened a couple times in Highway to Hell.**

**Me: Well, with Peyton driving, it was kind of a given. ON TO CAKE NUMBER TWO!**

**Kon: Right! (Wheels in Cake Number Two, from xXSweetestXAngelXNightmareXx.** **It's a purple and green cake with "JINXED URSELF" written over "Enh. What's the worst that could happen?" in blue frosting on the side. On the top of the cake is Seth's car, made of fondent and very lifelike-looking. ****Note: "haha! Peyton, you totally should NOT have said that! When something does go wrong, just imagine me sayin I TOLD YA SO! Peace Love Happiness, xXSweetestXAngelXNightmareXx")**

**Ichigo: There were a ton of THOSE moments, too.**

**Me: Well, with EITHER of you involved, that was a given! OH! And for those who might not have read Highway to Hell, you might be a little confused about some things.**

**Rukia: Basically, all you need to know is - **

**Carmen: THIS STUFF! **

**Rukia: -_-+ **

**Carmen: Peyton and Ichigo met both Mike Ness, frontman of Social Distortion and Ichigo's idol, AND met Neil Patrick Harris. They had an epic insult fight that you should really check out, it was awesome. Isshin was held hostage by druggies who mistook Ichigo for a dealer. There was a Chappy convention, Rukia went to it, Peyton had to walk through it twice thanks to the druggies holding Isshin hostage, and Urahara sold merchandise there in a Soul Reaper Only booth. He and Rukia disappeared afterwards in a smoke bomb that made Chappies rain down on Peyton. Seth's car blew up, and Peyton has to pay him back all the money it cost plus insurance fees. AND, most importantly, Ichigo proposed on a whim and she said yes to marrying him in two years. ...Problem being, she accidentally got COMPLETELY drunk soon after, so she has no clue about the proposal. **

**Ichigo: I can't believe she doesn't remember...Actually, I can't believe I proposed in the first place...Also, I can't believe Rukia's not beating the living shit out of me right now since she had no idea I did it...**

**Me: That's because she's in a sound-proof bubble and didn't hear about it.**

**Ichigo: Ah.**

**Me: Well, anyways. Read - **

**Ichigo/Carmen: REVIEW THE SHIT OUT OF THIS NEXT-TO-LAST CHAPTER!**

**Rukia: (having just broken out of the bubble) AND ENJOOOOOOOY! :D**

* * *

Ichigo trudged off the plane, Peyton not far behind. She was grumbling moodily to herself, having just been woken up; he wasn't too happy about it either, she'd landed another punch to his face by accident again.

"Y'know, that _can't_ be normal," he said suddenly, waiting for her to catch up at the terminal.

"What can't be normal?" she asked, letting out a huge yawn.

"You. Why do you always have to swing at me when I try to wake you up?"

She shrugged. "Not like I mean to. I blame Urahara and his stupid training, it makes me paranoid even in my sleep..." she shuddered at the very thought, shaking her head quickly. "Benihime...she hurts like a _bitch_ in her pimp cane form," she informed him in that faroff tone of hers.

Ichigo sweatdropped, but decided commenting would just make her grumpy, so he settled with asking another question instead. "So...Whadda we do now?"

"What, like, _right_ now?"

"Yeah."

"Well, we don't have any luggage to pick up since it all got blown to smithereens – that reminds me, I'll have to tell Linds her favorite shirt blew up – ...So I guess we hop into Seth's car and try and get to Karakura without anyone seeing us. I'm not in the mood to answer questions," she grumbled, and he nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, me neither. ...Oh God, if Keigo saw us, can you imagine what he'd do when we told him where we went?"

"Unfortunately, yeah, I can. Especially if Lindsay's around and drops a hint on how she'd _love_ a surprise like that for _her_ birthday."

"...Peyton?"

"Yeah?"

"I just wanna make sure you know that _I'm_ driving."

"I kinda figured."

"Yeah, I'm not the one driving_ j__ust toda__y_, but I'm never letting you drive...possibly ever."

"I suck at driving, I _get it_!" she shouted, temple throbbing as they headed for the airport's exit.

"Oh, you don't just _suck_ at driving, you're a master at _failing_ the art of driving. Honestly, I think Kon could drive better than you could if I was ever stupid enough to give him the chance."

"Ichigo, don't make me kick you in the face," she growled, which just made him laugh. That laughter was cut short, though, when they heard a rather familiar, dramatic, drawn-out gasp.

"IIIIIIIIIIIIICHIGOOOO! AND MY DARLING DAUGHTER, TOO! WELCOME BACK!" Isshin shouted, barreling right for them.

Peyton and Ichigo sweatdropped, moving to duck him, but he dove and grabbed them both, making all three of them fall and slide across the airport floor. "AH! I MISSED YOU BOTH SO MUCH!"

Yuzu ran to hug them as well, and the two exchanged a look before sighing and giving up, hugging Isshin and Yuzu back. "...Hey, guys," Peyton said somewhat-cheerfully.

Karin just stood with her hands on her hips, shaking her head slowly with a sweatdrop. "Don't suffocate them, they've barely been here five minutes."

"Yeah, listen to Karin," Ichigo managed to get out, wriggling out from under his dad and sister. He pulled Peyton out as well, and she muttered a thank-you under her breath as Isshin started spouting his usual stream of over-the-top, random, usually offensive in some way declarations.

"Ever since I tripped into that smoke bomb, I was SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU TWO!"

"Dad, we pushed you into the smoke bomb. Actually, we _shoved_ you. Hard."

"NO NEED TO LIE TO YOURSELF, SON! IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT! DON'T BLAME YOURSELF FOR YOUR OWN FATHER'S SHORTCOMINGS!"

"Oh, trust me, I won't."

"GOOD! OH, YUZU AND I WERE SO _WORRIED_ ONCE I TOLD HER ALL THAT HAD HAPPENED!"

"YOU JACKASS, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT?"

"Oh, Ichigo, I had _already_ been worrying myself sick," Yuzu commented cheerfully, and Peyton and Karin sighed heavily as father and son continued to argue the whole way to the car.

Well, not arguing so much as Isshin shouting oh-so-cheerfully and Ichigo overreacting. Finally they reached the car, and Peyton and Ichigo's expressions turned into ones of pure horror when Isshin started the car; Glee music immediately started playing.

"...Oh, hell no. Dad, we're changing that."

"WHAT? SON, HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE GLEE? YUZU AND I _LOVE_ IT!"

"That's great, but there's no way in hell I'm listening to that crap-fest."

"Ichigo, it's not CRAP!" Yuzu exclaimed, climbing into the passenger seat.

"All it is is a bunch of teenagers covering songs by great artists. It's like...like..."

"Kidz Bop for adults," Peyton suggested.

"I...have no clue what that is, but I'm sure Peyton's right," Ichigo said confidently, making her sweatdrop.

"It's tough sometimes, being an American around here. Kidz Bop is the worst thing to ever walk this planet – and it doesn't even _walk_. Kids sounding completely autotuned and covering songs that often times I actually like. ...Well, not after hearing them sing it, but I _did_ like 'em."

"Sounds like Glee," he replied, and she nodded in agreement before laughing nervously and slowly backing away. "Weeeell, I have to use Seth's car...I need to get it home before I get a fine for leaving it longer than I paid for."

"Oh, not to worry, darling daughter! Your favorite future father-in-law drove that to your house when he appeared at the airport in the smoke bomb!" he said cheerfully, and Ichigo pointed at her and laughed as she grudgingly plopped next to him in the backseat.

Karin looked over at them, eye twitching slightly as her dad and twin sister blasted the music as loud as possible. "They've been playing that CD non-stop for a week now. A _week_. A week of Glee not only blasting through the stereo, but being _sung_ by them. SUNG..."

They shuddered on her behalf, and Ichigo looked over at Peyton hopefully. "Please, for the love of God, tell me your iPod's working."

She shook her head mournfully, tearing up a bit. "It died, I accidentally left it running while we were sleeping on the plane."

"Aw, goddammit."

"Tell me about it."

"This is karma for joining the Mile High Club, probably," Karin informed them, making them jump and do Spastic Wet Noodle Dances.

"K-K-KARIN, WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!"

"...Yeah. Okay. Sure you don't."

"...Out of curiosity, though, how'd you know?" Peyton asked, making Ichigo turn bright red.

"Peyton, you weren't supposed to let her know she was _right_!" he stage-whispered, making his sister roll her eyes.

"It's obvious. You both came off the plane with hair sticking out in all directions – even more than usual, Ichigo had that goofy grin on his face he always has after you two do it, and _plus_ your shirt's on backwards and inside-out, Peyton," she explained in her usual bored tone. Ichigo facepalmed and shook his head as Peyton laughed and turned bright red with embarrassment.

"...Remind me to fix that before my dad sees it."

Ichigo scoffed at that one. "Tch. Peyton, if your dad hasn't caught on about us by now, I doubt he ever will unless someone tells him. Which...I hope happens when I'm far, far, far, far, FAR away," he added, all three of them shuddering and nodding in agreement.

"AH! PEYTON! GLEE'S VERY POPULAR IN AMERICA, IS IT NOT?" Isshin suddenly asked over the music, making the three jump.

"Uh...Yeah, unfortunately it is," she answered with mock enthusiasm.

Apparently, he didn't catch the "mock" part as he clapped his hands gleefully. "OH, GOOD! YOU CAN SING ALONG WITH US THEN! WE COULD ASSIGN PARTS TO EACH OTHER!"

"Isshin, I think I'll pass –"

"OKAY, _I'LL_ TAKE THE LOW PART! YUZU, YOU TAKE THE _HIGHEST_ PART! DARLING PEYTON GETS THE MIDDLE!"

"That's really QUITE ALRIGHT –"

"Aw, is Peyton shy?" Ichigo teased, making Isshin gasp dramatically, as usual.

"DON'T BE SHY, DELICATE FLOWER! YOUR INNER STAR'S JUST _LONGING_ TO BURST FORTH!"

She glared daggers at Ichigo as Isshin continued shouting about how "delicate" she was, eye twitching to the max. "...I hate you."

"I love you too."

"Goddamn you to the deepest pit of hell."

"Like we're not already there!"

"...Touche," she grumbled before singing along to her stupid part.

* * *

_**FORTY-FIVE ****MINUTES LATER...**_

"Okay, we're almost home, WE CAN TURN IT OFF NOW!" Karin and Ichigo shouted, both of them practically _diving_ for the front seat so they could turn it off.

Isshin and Yuzu drooped, and Peyton let out a tiny sigh of relief. "Awww, we were just starting to get into it!"

"I know, it's rather unfortunate, but you _knew_ we'd have to turn it off once we got close to the house!" Peyton replied sadly, a sniffle thrown in at the end for extra effect.

Isshin suddenly brightened as they turned a corner. "AH! I just got an idea!"

"Oh God, what is it?" Karin asked wearily.

"Why don't we buy as many seasons of Glee as they have out on DVD, and then WATCH THEM ALL TOGETHER!"

Karin and Ichigo groaned. "Oh please no!"

"Sorry, Isshin, but I should probably go home!" Peyton said quickly, practically diving out of the car before it even came to a stop outside the Kurosaki Clinic.

Said Kurosakis all sweatdropped as she flailed mid-air and faceplanted, and she held up a thumb as she groaned into the dirt. "I'm okay...!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes and picked her up off the ground with one hand, plopping her down on her feet as she grinned at him. "Hey, for a second there, I was as tall as you!" she said cheerfully, which just made Ichigo and Karin sweatdrop even further.

"_Man_, she's sleep-deprived," Karin commented as Peyton spun in a little circle before wobbling down the street.

"You think _this_ is bad? You shoulda seen her when she accidentally got drunk. ...Hey, Peyton, wait up!" he shouted, running to catch up with her.

"I can get home by myself!" she assured him, still wobbling rather precariously.

"Tch. Maybe so, but I'd rather you make it home in one piece," he replied, putting an arm around her waist as she continued to wobble and sway.

"I feel hyper and tired all at once," she informed him as Isshin called out after them.

"HURRY BACK, MY DARLING DAUGHTER! WE SHALL WATCH GLEE TOGETHER AND BOND SO THAT WE CAN HAVE AN EVEN _BETTER_ RELATIONSHIP WHEN MY SON FINALLY PROPOSES TO YOU!" he shouted, making Peyton sigh and shake her head.

"SURE THING, ISSHIN! LOOKIN' FORWARD TO IT!" she shouted back, not turning around. She glanced up at Ichigo to say something, but stopped and smirked up at his red face.

"...Ichigo, why do you look like a strawberry?" she asked, the laughter evident in her voice. "He says something or other about us getting married all the time!"

He shook his head quickly, trying to force the blush back down. "I-It's nothing, I was just...thinking about something."

"About what? Can't be sex, you just get this goofy grin on your face – like Karin said."

"No, not that, just...Nevermind, okay!"

"C'mooon, tell me!"

"No way, you'll just laugh!"

"I promise I won't!"

"If you don't remember, I'm not gonna put myself through that all over again! It was the most I've sweated since I fought Kenpachi!"

"Well now, this is getting _interesting_," Peyton practically purred, which did absolutely nothing to help his sudden awkwardness. She laughed and stood on her tiptoes to ruffle his hair, which just made him scowl. "C'mooon, Ichigo, lighten up! You're acting funny," she informed him, to which he sweatdropped.

"Thanks," he deadpanned, "that _definitely_ helps the situation."

"What's the situation here?"

"The _situation_ is that you don't remember, and it took a ton of effort on my part to do it!"

"...Do what?"

"EXACTLY!" he shouted, and she sighed and shook her head as he drooped even further.

"So...If it's so important to you that I don't remember this, why don't you just tell me what it is I'm supposed to be remembering?" she suggested.

Ichigo shook his head before smiling down at her halfheartedly. "Nah, it's nothing."

"Dammit, Ichigo!" she shouted, shocking him in the arm with a temple throb.

"OW! GODDAMMIT, WHY CAN'T YOU GO BACK TO SMACKING ME UPSIDE THE HEAD WHEN YOU'RE PISSED AT ME?" he shouted, brushing the purple sparks off his arm.

"YOU'RE ACTING LIKE AN IDIOT!" she accused, crossing her arms and staring up at him from underneath her bangs. "I'm not budging until you tell me what this is all about," she declared defiantly, planting her feet firmly on the ground.

"..."

"..."

"...ICHIGO, PUT ME DOWN!" she screeched as he picked her up and slung her over his shoulder.

"You _really_ need to think of better threats or something," he said simply, laughter in his voice as he carried her to her house. She pounded on his back for a few moments before sighing and folding her arms against his back, resting her head on them. "Goddammit."

* * *

"...Wow, it feels like I've been gone for forever," Peyton mused, reaching for the key under the flowerpot as they stood on her porch a good ten minutes later.

Ichigo sweatdropped, having just noticed a...well, rather redneck-looking car on it. "The hell is that?"

"The hell's what?" she asked, looking around. He pointed at the flowerpot, making her laugh. "Oh, that. That's _The General Lee_!"

"The...what?"

"It's a car."

"No shit."

Her temple throbbed, but she continued anyway. "I wasn't finished! It's a car from this old tv show, Dukes of Hazzard. They called it _The General Lee_ – customized 1969 Dodge Charger," she explained, grinning triumphantly and feeling smart.

"...Since when do you know _anything_ about cars?"

"Oh, that's pretty much the only car I know...Mainly because it's from 1969, so I found it funny and remembered it ever since," she admitted with a sheepish laugh, making him chuckle.

"Figures. ...You're cute when you're embarrassed," he informed her, making her turn even redder before looking at him suspiciously. "...You're acting REALLY weird," she declared, looking him up and down. "You're not Kon, are you?"

"If I was Kon, my face would be smothered into your chest by now," he deadpanned, and she sweatdropped.

"...Well, I guess that's true. But still! 'You're cute when you're embarrassed'? What gives, Kurosaki?" she asked, hands on her hips.

He shrugged. "I guess I'm just nicer at night."

"...Well, I can't argue with that one. You're somethin' at night, that's for sure, but words other than 'nice' come to mind," she replied in a tone so suggestive he considered taking her right there on the porch. He moved towards her to do it, too, about to latch a hand in her hair and kiss her while lowering her to the floor, but then he remembered where they were and changed route at the last second to fiddle with the flimsy plant dying in the flowerpot.

Peyton sweatdropped. "What was _that_ supposed to be?"

"N-Nothing, I was just...Nevermind." Ichigo had no doubt in his mind that if they even tried, her dad would suddenly pop up out of nowhere and shoot him with damn Old Winona. Probably in the head...no, wait, then he'd die instantly. He'd probably shoot him in the balls, and that thought made Ichigo gulp audibly.

"...You should probably go home. Maybe you'll wake up like your normal annoying self again, and be less of a...for lack of a more insulting word, spazz," she concluded, sweatdropping further as he made the plant break in half with a loud cracking noise.

"...Whoops."

"Dumbass."

The disappointment was still written all over her face, and he guessed she had had the same idea as far as the porch went. Before they could say anything else, though, the front door suddenly flew open, making them both jump and whirl around in time to see Nanaw glomp him to death.

"MY HUNK MUFFIN! YOU'RE FINALLY BACK!"

"Y-Yeah, I'm back, but I can't breathe!" he managed to get out, and Peyton just rolled her eyes and pried Nanaw off him (with quite a bit of difficulty).

"Nanaw, heel! Heel! RELEASE!"

"If I were younger, I'd beat your ass for talking to your elder like a dog!"

"If you're not a dog, then stop acting like you're in heat around my boyfriend!"

"DON'T FORGET, I STILL GET THIRTY MINUTES IN HEAVEN WITH MY HUNK MUFFIN!" Nanaw practically crowed, finally releasing the squirming-and-resisting-the-urge-to-scream-like-a-girl Ichigo.

"First off, he's MY Hunk Muffin, let's make that clear. And secondly..." Ichigo gulped as she trailed off, an extremely devious smirk slowly sliding onto her face. "...Whaddaya say we change that to _two_ _hours_ in heaven?"

"WHAT?" they both shouted; Nanaw in her little fangirlish scream, and Ichigo in a shout of pure terror.

Peyton nodded cheerfully. "Yep! But there's a catch."

Nanaw crossed her arms, eyeing her suspiciously. "...What's the catch, possessive great-granddaughter of mine?"

"WELL, after the two hours in heaven, no more squeezing Ichigo's ass when you think I'm not paying attention. I don't want him emotionally – and maybe physically – traumatized for the rest of his life because you keep groping him! Also, no more dropping hints to Dad that we're having sex. AND, during the two hours in heaven, no seduction. It's unfair."

"But what if he wants it?" she asked innocently, a not-so-innocent glint in her eye.

Ichigo noticeably shuddered all over at the very thought, and Peyton's eye twitched. "...Trust me on this, he won't want it."

"Hey, you don't know that! You don't know how _wild_ I am. I'd do things you wouldn't DARE do for him!"

Both teens turned bright red, and Peyton pinched the bridge of her nose with an exasperated sigh. "NO, Nanaw. Regardless of what I do and don't 'do for him', at the end of the day, he's still mine and mine alone. Meaning no one else gets to do those kind of 'things' for him. Including you."

"Sharing is caring!"

"I don't care. End of discussion. Take it or leave it."

Ichigo gulped as the two women stared each other down before Nanaw finally sighed and shook Peyton's outstretched hand. "I'll take it. ...I'll be sure to wear my flimsiest nightgown," she informed them, winking at Ichigo before flipping her wispy blonde hair and going back inside. "...Oh, and it's good to see you're still alive, Peyton!" she called out over her shoulder, making Peyton sigh and shake her head.

"God, it's like talking to a horny twelve-year-old," she whined, making Ichigo sweatdrop.

"That's the most disturbing comparison I've ever heard! Especially since Karin and Yuzu're twelve," he grumbled.

"I know, that's why I said it! It's just plain disturbing! SHE'S just plain disturbing! And _so_ good at playing innocent while trying to fuck you over – mentally and otherwise!"

"Must run in the family. You're not so innocent yourself, you know," he pointed out, and she scowled.

"Yeah, but that's different. ...Oh crap, I forgot to mention she couldn't use the Cullen Woman Eye Trick on you!" she said suddenly, making him groan.

"Great. She's gonna somehow get me to do a lap dance by the time it hits the one-hour mark, all thanks to that damn eye trick!"

Peyton's eye twitched. "She _better_ not. Not before me!"

"What?"

"N-Nothing," she said quickly, laughing nervously and waving him off.

"Peyton, did you just say you –"

"Nope."

"But it sounded like you –"

"You heard me wrong, that's all!"

"...Would you pay me if I –"

"Just go home already!" Peyton shouted, temple throbbing as she continued to turn several different shades of red. Not only at the fact that she now had mental images and scenarios running rampant in her head, but he was making it even worse with the triumphant smirk he was wearing. Damn it, he just had to have a natural talent for making something as simple as a smirk look sexy.

_...Jeez, Peyton, calm yourself. You need sleep or something, this is ridiculous...Must've been the long flight. Yeah, that's it..._

He kissed her on the forehead, snapping her out of her unbelievably perverted thoughts. "Fine, fine, keep your voice down. You'll wake up everyone on the goddamn block."

She huffed, watching him walk down the street and out of sight like the natural worrier she was, and finally trudged inside. Peyton passed right by an already-sleeping Nanaw on the couch, turning off "Golden Girls" as she went. She didn't really pay much heed to the giggling in the kitchen, too tired to process it as she went upstairs. She poked a head into Lindsay's room, sweatdropping at the sight of her asleep with her head dangling upside-down off the edge of the bed.

"...Wow. And she calls _me_ an idiot. Akuma, roll over or something!" she hissed, trying not to wake her sister up as she pushed the sleeping puppy off her chest and turned Lindsay so her head was on the mattress again.

Peyton sweatdropped as Akuma kicked in his sleep, causing him to roll off the bed and land with a rather loud _**THUD**_. "...He's still asleep? Well, _he_ makes a great guard dog..." With a shake of the head, she finally made it to her room, turning on the tv as she got undressed and went to take a shower.

That's one of the few things she'd liked about the new house since she first moved to Karakura Town, even despite her pessimistic, slightly-suicidal mood upon their arrival: she had her own bathroom. No more having to share with her older sister, or dealing with the grodiness of Seth's bathroom when Linds was occupying the other one.

Just _thinking_ about it made her shudder. A tiny noise of something between surprise and contentment escaped her throat at the feeling of her muscles tensing slightly from the action; she still wasn't used to that. She was more sore than she usually was after she and Ichigo...er, had a full-body workout.

Though, considering the position she'd been in this time, she wasn't all that surprised. Peyton started turning red at the very _thought_ of how different it was having sex on a plane – for reasons obvious and ones not-so-obvious – and she shook her head quickly. "Goddammit, get a hold of yourself! I don't remember the last time I blushed this much in one night...If ever."

She felt so happy after getting out of the shower and washing the dried sweat and whatnot off her body after the past twenty-four hours' events, even humming – something she rarely did this late at night. Peyton was about to flop onto her bed and go to sleep, not caring if she was still in a towel, when she realized she was starving.

"...Ice cream," she decided with a nod. Out of common courtesy (and knowing something perverted and/or idiotic would happen to her if she didn't), Peyton clambered into boxer shorts and a Flash Gordon tank top before heading for the kitchen.

Her humming immediately stopped as she finally paid attention to the giggling coming from the kitchen. Pressing herself against the wall separating her from the people on the other side, she moved to poke her head around the corner. It sounded like Miya's giggling, and her dad was most definitely chuckling as well. Peyton was pretty sure she didn't want to see what they were doing (though she looked anyway) and to her horror, she found she couldn't have been more right.

Without a word, she went back upstairs, grabbed her cell phone, plugged her iPod into the charger for the night, went _downstairs_, and headed outside. All the while looking about eight shades paler and blinking repeatedly in surprise.

She knocked three times on the Kurosakis' door, and Ichigo was the one to answer. "Peyton? The hell you doing here? ...Are you alright?" he added, furrowing his brows at how pale and wide-eyed she was.

She didn't reply, just shook her head and pointed up the stairs. He wordlessly followed her, both of them sneaking past Isshin and Yuzu, who were sitting at the table mapping out their assault on the nearest store to find every Glee piece of merchandise they had.

* * *

He watched with fresh sweatdrops as she locked every lock on his door, grabbed a pillow off his bed, and started to shout random muffled things he couldn't understand into it.

"...Uh...Hate to interrupt your little mental breakdown, but...mind telling me what the hell's going on?"

Peyton slowly looked up at him, the trauma glinting in her wide eyes. "Dad. Miya. Kitchen. Blindfolds. Marco Polo."

"...Er...What?"

"DAD AND MIYA WERE NAKED IN THE KITCHEN WITH BLINDFOLDS PLAYING MARCO POLO!" she wailed, officially throwing Ichigo for a loop.

"WH-WH-WHAT?" he sputtered as she continued to wail into the pillow.

"OH MY GOD, IT WAS SO HORRIFIC! LINDSAY COOKS MY _DINNER_ THERE! THEY WERE _TOTALLY_ DEFILING THE KITCHEN! I BET THEY AIN'T GONNA SCRUB IT WITH ANTISEPTIC AFTERWARDS, EITHER!"

"...Peyton, to be fair, _we_ totally defiled the kitchen first," he pointed out.

"Don't matter," she sniffled, "in fact, that just makes it worse! They've defiled the place WE defiled! And at least _we_ cleaned it up when we were done!"

"...The exact place?"

"_Yes_, the exact place! Well, more like _area_ considering we kinda spread out, BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER! They ruined our hot sex with their old-people sex! And did I mention this was my dad? MY DAD WAS NAKED, AND MIYA'S BODY'S A GOOD THREE TIMES HOTTER THAN MINE!" she wailed, returning to sobbing dramatically into the pillow.

Ichigo sweatdropped, carefully pulling her down to sit on his bed. "...Um...Peyton –"

"I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE _HOME_ YET! Apparently, they didn't know _I_ was coming home! ...Oh God...do you think Dad knows where we were? Does he know what I did to Seth's _car_?" she asked, suddenly looking frightened for her life.

He sighed heavily, eye twitching as she proceeded to pace so fast around his room that papers flew around.

"What do I do? WHAT IF HE KNOWS? Oh God...What if Seth told him, _and_ told him about those text messages while he was at it? Y'know, to make you seem like a wuss for chickening outta sex? AND THEN DAD FIGURES OUT WE'RE HAVING SEX! OH MY GOD! HE'LL KILL YOU! I CAN'T DATE YOU IF YOU'RE DEAD, I COULD GO TO JAIL! ...Wait...I could just go to Soul Society and find you, couldn't I? ...BUT THAT'S STILL A LONG TRIP, AND I WOULDN'T GET TO SEE YOU EVERY DAY! AND YOU'D BE _DEAD_! This is _terrible_! WHAT DO I DOOOO?" she wailed, her voice getting more and more frantic with each word.

Finally, Ichigo grabbed her around the waist and plopped her onto his bed, clapping a hand over her mouth when she tried to shout in protest. "...Go. To. Bed. You're exhausted and aren't thinking straight. Wait until you're in your right – well, as close as you could ever get to it – state of mind before you start spazzing out, alright? ...Peyton, I think you wore some parts of the floor down," he added with a sweatdrop, staring down at the darker marks on his floor that hadn't been there before.

"...Oh. Oops."

"Don't worry about it," he muttered, already sounding groggy as he flopped onto his bed and pulled her as close to him as humanly possible.

"..."

"..."

"...Marco Polo?" he asked suddenly in disbelief, making her temple throb.

"I'd rather not think about it."

"..."

"..."

"...Wait, so who was the It person, your dad or Miya?"

"ICHIGO, HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW? I JUST FOCUSED ON GETTING THE HELL OUTTA THERE BEFORE I THREW UP!" she shouted, prompting Kon to suddenly pop up in her face.

"AH, PEYTON, YOU SOUND SO DISTRESSED! Did that dumbass do something to you?" he demanded, pointing to Ichigo.

Peyton sighed and shook her head as Ichigo brought his foot up to meet Kon's face, making him flip off the bed and hit the closet door. "WHY'RE YOU SO MEAN?"

"GET OUT, KON!"

"THIS IS MY ROOM JUST AS MUCH AS YOURS!"

"But there's one big difference..." Ichigo said, suddenly very calm. Kon and Peyton gawked at him, and she sweatdropped as he grabbed Kon and punted him out the window. "HEIGHT DIFFERENCE!"

"ICHIGOOOOOOOO!"

_**THUD.**_

"...Well, alright then. 'Night, Ichigo."

"'Night, Peyton."

* * *

_**THE ****NEXT MORNING...**_

"GOOOOOOD..."

The shout made her jolt awake, and Ichigo's temple throbbed as he continued to lay still. "Roll onto the floor," he muttered.

"Huh?"

"MOOOOORNIIIIING, ICHIGOOOOOOOO!" Isshin shouted, and Ichigo pushed his groggy girlfriend off the bed before kicking his dad in the stomach as he dove for him, causing him to fly to the right and collide with the shut window.

"Good job, son," he groaned against the window.

Peyton winced on poor Isshin's behalf as he slid down the window, landing on Ichigo's bed as the latter shook his head and helped her up. "Wait, how the hell did he not break the window?" she wondered, taking the hand Ichigo offered her.

"Plexiglass," he replied simply, making her sweatdrop.

"...Plexiglass? Your house...has plexiglass."

"No, just my window. Newly installed."

"...Jeez, Ichigo."

"What? I have Soul Reapers constantly invading my room, gotta make sure stuff doesn't get broken!" he said matter-of-factly as Isshin continued to complain about how his "abusive son needs to learn to loosen up a little!".

"Point," Peyton replied, stretching and yawning loudly. Rukia suddenly flung the closet door open, pointing at Ichigo.

"STOP locking your door at night when I'm not here! It's annoying having to flash-step in here in this stupid gigai! ...Not to mention it makes me have to prepare myself to see you two doing something I _really_ don't want to see," she muttered as Isshin stomped off to bug his daughters, making the two teens in front of her turn red.

"We didn't do anything last night, trust me on this," Peyton grumbled, shuddering at the very thought.

Ichigo shuddered as well, making Rukia cock an eyebrow. "Oh? Is something wrong?"

"Not with us, no, but...OLD PEOPLE SHOULDN'T HAVE SEX, AND MY BODY SHOULDN'T BE LESS HOT THAN MY STEPMOM'S!" Peyton wailed, stomping off to the bathroom. "What is WRONG with the world?"

Rukia and Ichigo sweatdropped. "...Do I _want_ to know what she was referring to?"

"No. I wish _I_ didn't."

"Ah. I'll just go get breakfast, then."

"...Oh, Rukia?" he called out suddenly, and she turned in the doorway to look at him.

"What?"

"If you wanna get in here before I lock the door, you'll just have to be quicker when you're screwing Renji," he commented matter-of-factly, making the tiny Soul Reaper's eye twitch and temple throb menacingly.

_**THWACK!**_

"OW!"

"I DO _NOT_ SCREW RENJI!" she screeched, shaking her head and stomping off as he rubbed his head from where she'd chunked a book at him.

"...Damn midget."

* * *

Downstairs, Peyton was almost immediately bombarded by Isshin, who swept her up into a bone-and-lung-crushing bear hug. "AH! I _KNEW_ I SAW YOU ON THE FLOOR OF ICHIGO'S ROOM!"

"M-Mornin' Isshin."

"When did you get here, Peyton?" Yuzu asked cheerfully, frying pan in hand as she poked her head out of the kitchen.

"Last night."

"Aw, you should've said hello! You could've helped Papa and I hunt down all our Glee stuff last night!" she exclaimed, pointing to a mountain of merchandise in the living room. Karin was sitting on top of it, watching tv with a bored expression on her face.

_Because **everybody** has a Glee Mountain in their living room..._

"I wasn't feeling too good last night. I, um...had...um...a _nightmare_," she muttered, shuddering at the thought.

Yuzu furrowed her brows. "A nightmare? I hate those! I once had a nightmare that all those Chappies Rukia draws popped out of the paper and dragged Bostov back with them!"

"Bostov?" Peyton repeated, her own brows furrowing as she plopped down in a chair next to a seething Rukia.

"It's what she calls Kon," Rukia murmured under her breath, eye still twitching.

"...Ichigo pissed you off this morning," Peyton stated.

"How'd you know?"

"You've got that Ichigo-Is-So-Fucking-Dead look on your face," she replied cheerfully as Yuzu went back to cooking, whistling away.

"...Oh. Right. Your boyfriend's an idiot," Rukia informed her as Isshin pranced back to the table, handing the girls juice.

Peyton snorted a laugh, shaking her head. "As if that wasn't common knowledge?"

"What's this? Did my son harm you, Rukia?" he demanded, looking around for Ichigo to properly yell at him.

"O-Oh _noooo_, Mr. Kurosaki! Nothing like that! We just had a misunderstanding!" Rukia said cheerfully, schoolgirl act fully activated.

Peyton sighed and shook her head as Isshin stomped up the stairs. "Don't try and cover for Ichigo, dear Rukia! Papa shall avenge you! ICHIGOOOOOOOO?"

"He's a bit more theatrical than usual today," Peyton muttered into her glass, taking a huge gulp.

"It's probably because you two were gone so long," Rukia replied, both of them sighing heavily as they heard crashing and shouting upstairs.

"THE HELL'S YOUR PROBLEM, GOAT FACE, I'M USING THE BATHROOM!"

"HA! SHAME ON YOU FOR BEING STUPID ENOUGH TO LEAVE THE DOOR UNLOCKED!"

"IT WASN'T UNLOCKED, YOU JACKASS, YOU _KICKED DOWN THE DOOR_!"

"...I BET IT WAS UNLOCKED, THOUGH, WASN'T IT?"

"THE HELL DO YOU WANT?"

"DID YOU HARM DEAR RUKIA?"

"...What? NO, YOU IDIOT!"

"I'VE TOLD YOU BEFORE, SON, JUST BECAUSE YOU AND PEYTON ARE GETTING MARRIED ONE DAY AND BEARING MY GRANDCHILDREN, IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN FORGET TO TREAT THE OTHER LADIES WITH RESPECT!"

"SH-SH-SHUT UP ABOUT MARRIAGE ALREADY!"

"...I give up," Karin grumbled from the living room, having turned the tv up to full volume and still not being able to hear. She turned it off and trudged to the table as more crashing, punching, and kicking was heard upstairs.

Peyton shook her head again, staring down at her glass. "I almost wish there was alcohol in this...It'd make this a lot more tolerable," she grumbled as Yuzu put something in the oven before walking over to stand beside her, hands on her hips as she looked towards the stairs.

"I hate it when they fight this early...I hate it when they fight at all!"

"They're gonna kill each other one day," Rukia noted, and the other three nodded in agreement.

"I can see it now; Ichigo kicks him out the window, Isshin grabs a cord for support that wraps around Ichigo's foot, they both go flying into the road, then they get hit by a garbage truck. ...And then a minivan, just to add insult to fatal injury," Peyton said with a yawn, making them sweatdrop.

"Peyton, that's terrible!" Yuzu exclaimed, eyes wide.

"But I can still see it," Karin added, making her twin huff at them.

"You two are so mean! What if that _actually_ happened?"

"Then I'd be heartbroken, maybe suicidal, pissed, and eventually amused, not necessarily in that order," Peyton replied thoughtfully, making Rukia snort a laugh and nod.

"Agreed."

"BREAKFAST IS READY!" Yuzu shouted, running to the oven as the timer went off.

"Out the way, Old Man, I'm starving."

"NO WAY! I SHALL FIGHT FOR MY THIRD DAUGHTER'S HONOR 'TILL THE DEATH!"

"DAD! MOVE, GODDAMMIT, THIS IS STUPID!"

"VALOR AND BRAVERY IS NEVER STUPID, SON! REMEMBER THAT!"

"YEAH, VALOR AND BRAVERY AREN'T STUPID, BUT NEITHER'S THE CASE _HERE_, DUMBASS!"

"ARE YOU TOO SCARED OF YOUR IMMINENT DEFEAT, SON? IS THAT IT? I BET YOU DON'T WANT ME TO _EMBARRASS YOU_ IN FRONT OF PEYTON AND YOUR SISTERS!"

"NO, I'M JUST HUNGRY!"

Rukia pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head as they both tumbled down the stairs, tackling each other the whole way down. Karin rolled her eyes, Yuzu was close to tears as she tried to pry them off each other, and Peyton's eye was twitching menacingly. Finally, she stood up and slammed her hands against the table before marching to stand above them on the first step of the staircase.

"WILL YOU TWO IDIOTS _STOP_ FOR JUST A HOT MINUTE!" she bellowed, Southern accent growing a good five times stronger as a vein threatened to pop in her forehead.

Everyone froze to gawk at her as she glared down at them, hands on her hips and jaw set. "...Now. Get up, brush yourselves off, wash your hands, and come back down here and act somewhat normal! Yuzu's worked her _ass_ off like she usually does, and you're trying her infinite patience, _like you usually do_, and I am still WAY too traumatized to put up with the shit _this early_! GOT ME?" she shouted, sparks flying from her fingertips involuntarily as her temple steadily throbbed.

"Y-Y-Yes ma'am!" they exclaimed, doing as she said and dashing upstairs to wash their hands, brushing themselves off as they went.

Peyton nodded with satisfaction and went to sit back down, breathing a little heavy from her outburst. Karin continued to snicker into her glass as Yuzu sighed with relief and Rukia smirked at her approvingly.

"Thank you, Peyton. ...Although, did you have to be so scary about it?" Yuzu asked timidly, hoping to never piss her off as long as she lived.

Peyton rubbed the back of her head with a nervous laugh as the two morons ran back downstairs and dove into their chairs to avoid further invoking her wrath. "...Maybe I got a little carried away."

"A _little_? I thought you were gonna spontaneously combust," Ichigo grumbled, and three kicks were heard under the table.

"OW!" he exclaimed.

"SHUT UP!" Rukia, Isshin, and Karin shouted. "YOU'LL PISS HER OFF MORE!"

"Keep it up, son, and she'll physically remove any chance of you bearing me grandchildren," Isshin advised matter-of-factly as Yuzu gave everyone their breakfast.

Ichigo's temple throbbed, but he didn't comment after noticing the vein still throbbing in Peyton's forehead.

So of course Renji chose that moment to burst through the door out of nowhere and point accusingly at Peyton and Ichigo. "YOU TWO...ARE DESPICABLE! Went to America without me? AGAIN? And _undoubtedly_ Ichigo got some, am I right? YOU DIDN'T EVEN BRING ME ANYTHING _BACK_, AM I _RIGHT_?" he fumed, the front door slowly swinging shut behind him. "I WOULDA SETTLED FOR A T-SHIRT, BUT NOOO, YOU COULDN'T EVEN MANAGE _THAT_! CHEAPSKATES!"

Everyone shook their heads quickly, urging him to shut up as Peyton's eye started twitching again. He gulped as she stood up, popping her knuckles. "U-Uh...I...Um...That came out horribly wrong," he said with nervous laughter, slowly backing towards the door.

Ichigo and Rukia tried to hide their laughter as Peyton proceeded to drag him outside and shock the living hell out of him; at least, that's what they figured was happening due to his girlish screams and the bright purple lights flashing outside.

"What on earth is she _doing_ to him?" Yuzu asked with alarm, moving to look through the window.

"N-Nothing!" Ichigo and Rukia exclaimed, laughing nervously and sitting her back down. "She got this, um, laser pointer when we were in San Diego. Yeah...laser pointer."

"Ohhh, okay! ...I hope she doesn't shine it in his eyes, that can be dangerous..."

"I have a feeling she's aiming more for his ass," Ichigo snickered to himself, earning a giggle from even Rukia.

"PEYTON, I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN IT!"

"I'VE HAD IT UP TO _HERE_ WITH DUMBASSERY! YOU WERE THE _FINAL STRAW_, DAMN PINEAPPLE HEAD!"

"SEE? YOU'VE BEEN HANGING AROUND ICHIGO TOO LONG – OWOWOWWW, I'M SORRY, I'M SO-OR-OR-_RRRYYY_!" he practically sobbed, making Isshin point a fork at Ichigo.

"See son? Without my clever intervention upstairs earlier, that could have been YOU she was punishing."


	101. PLEASE READ, I Don't Like This Either!

**Me: (sniffling) I...am SO SORRY for not updating in so goddamn long! I was sick once again, my cousin's pregnant so I was busy on that, I now have an Ask account on DeviantART that I've been regularly maintaining (meaning hooked on...I'm AskTatsuki), aaaand prison started back up three weeks ago. Oh, sorry, I meant school. EITHER WAY, I'M SO SO SORRY! I REALLY MISS UPDATING THIS AND CAN'T WAIT TO DO SO AGAIN! SO SORRY...! **

**Ichigo: You should be.**

**Me: (Demonic aura) NOT HELPING!**

**Ichigo: (slouches) ...Sorry.**

**Me: You should be. Your fate's hanging in the balance right now.**

**Carmen: Yep. Before Mandy updates, we're taking a poll!**

**Rukia: Yeah, I'm sure that's what everyone wants to hear...**

**Me: I'M SORRY THIS ISN'T A CHAPTER! I swear, I'm more than halfway done with the last chapter, but THESE POLL RESULTS MIGHT AFFECT THE END, which is why I'm posting this. Thanks to ALL who sent me ideas through reviews/PMs as to what to do with the Winter War and Ichigo's Fullbring. I've narrowed it down to three options:**

**Rukia: The first one is that Mandy uses her Fanfic Author Magic to move the Winter War so that it fits into Dude's timeline, which should be fairly easy with the references to Aizen and Orihime's kidnapping already in the fic. Basically, Aizen and Gin would've retreated instead of immediately "invading", if you will.**

**Me: So basically I'd be writing down the Winter War, plus Peyton, switching POVs every now and then. Sounds fun...(facedesk)**

**Carmen: Second option being the sequel takes place after the Winter War, _right_ after, probably not long before Ichigo wakes up from his coma. It would run through the timeskip, basically, but obviously not for long or else we'd have a good 30 chapters before the Fullbring stuff even comes UP. So it would skip around through time like "Dude" did.**

**Me: Less writing...but I'd have to wing SO MUCH...Aw, shit. (facedesk)**

**Rukia: The third option would be to have Ichigo lose his powers a different way, meaning Mandy pulls some arc out of her ass and makes it seem like it totally made sense and was all according to plan.**

**Me: Like Aizen?**

**Ichigo: Or like Kubo himself, I'm pretty sure he just finds ways to fuck me over and then pulls the solutions out of his ass.**

**Rukia: Or a magic hat!**

**Carmen: Maybe he flips a coin!**

**Me:(Sweatdrops) ...Anyway...so yeah. And then perhaps Ichigo would have a mild case of amnesia and forget everything that happened since he got his powers, and the fact that he had powers or could see ghosts in the first place...meaning he would forget the Soul Reapers and Peyton. ...Tons of writing, but interesting...(facedesk)**

**Ichigo: HEY, how come I'm screwed in every option? YOU'RE JUST LIKE TITE KUBO!**

**Me: Awww, thanks. Anyway, I'm fine with whatever's chosen, I wanna know what you READERS want. VOTE. THE SOONER YOU VOTE, THE SOONER THE LAST CHAPTER GOES UP AND WE CAN GET TO THE SEQUEL! ...Oh, and forgive the spacing...My spacebar's been stuck for a good two weeks, so sometimes there's too many spaces. **


	102. DON'T GET EXCITED, I JUST FAIL!

**Rukia: ...**

**Ichigo: ...**

**Carmen: ...**

**Kon: ...**

**Trololo Guy: ...**

**Ichigo: Look, you even made HIM silent.**

**Me: (close to tears with embarrassment) SH-SHUT UP! I FORGOT! SORRY...I FORGOT TO POST THE POLL TO MY PROFILE...I OWE YOU GUYS SO MUCH, I'M JUST...MY STUPIDITY HAS LEFT ME BEYOND WORDS.**

**Everyone: (Group facepalm) There ARE no words.**

**Me: (Mutters weakly) Vote now...?**


	103. THE FINAL CHAPTER: Finally, Right?

**Me: AGH! I KNOW, I TOOK FOREVER! SORRY, I WAS WAITING FOR POLL RESULTS (It was a three-way tie for FOREVER), AND THEN MY SPACEBAR BROKE, AND THEN I GOT A STOMACH VIRUS (which I still have right now), AND- Okay, you know what? No more excuses. Shit happened, I finally got it done, YAY!**

**Ichigo: Yeah, yay, can we get on with it?**

**Me: (Sweatdrops) You ruin everything, you know that?**

**Ichigo: Yep!**

**Me: Whatever, ANYWAY, it was still a tie between Winter War Plus Peyton and Skipping to the End, with New Arc VERY close behind. So I compromised! She'll be involved in the Winter War, but she'll be left behind in the real Karakura Town, so it'll basically pick up where this one leaves off and then skip over to when she wakes up, along with Tatsuki and Keigo. And then later on in the sequel, I might make an arc where Ichigo gets amnesia. OK? OK.**

**Rukia: But we didn't say OK!**

**Me: That's OK, because I said OK.**

**Rukia/Carmen: OK. KOOOON, GIFTS AND CAKES NOW!**

**Kon: COMING, COMING! **

**Me: Yay. Alright, first up, some gifts from Just that American. ...Right?**

**Kon: (Peeks in cart) Right! (For Ichigo: the first 3 seasons of the Dukes of Hazzard, a General Lee model and all of this is sitting on a cake shaped like a confederate flag. For Rukia: a 100 USD gift card to official Chappy merchandise. Aaand for me, a Centennial cake. This monstrosity is 100 layers of every cake imaginable!)**

**Me: AH, THAT CAKE!**

**Ichigo: I-IT'S BEAUTIFUL!**

**Me/Ichigo: (Tears of joy) I CAN'T WAIT TO EAT THAT!**

**Me: ...But first...MORE STUFF! AND THEN THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING:**

**Everyone: YAAAY.**

**Kon: HERE, MISTRESS MANDY! (Cakes Numbers Two and Three are from ShatterTheHeavens: Cake Two depicts Ichigo running from Nanaw with chocolate fudge marble and ice cream filling, and Cake Three has Peyton shocking the hell out of Renji with Ichigo & Rukia laughing in the background, with strawberry-vanilla filling and confetti sprouting around Peyton.)**

**Me: Beautiful, beautiful.**

**Ichigo: I think that's...like...the proudest I've ever been to call Peyton my girlfriend...EVER.**

**Rukia: (Sweatdrop) I wouldn't tell Peyton that.**

**Me: Well, anyway, ON WITH THE STUFF!**

**Kon: INDEED! (Wheels in Cake Number Four and gifts from The Layman. The cake is an 18" by 8" red velvet cake with chocolate icing. On it is a picture of the ENTIRE cast of both stories so far. For me: an Xbox Achievement called "The Big 1 Double Oh" worth 100 gamerpoints. For Rukia: 100 assorted Chappy bobbleheads. For Carmen: Orlado Bloom's acting career (Note from Layman: "Hey, it had to be somewhere, right?"). For Kon: 10 coupons for a kiss from a beautiful girl. And for Ichigo: a piece of fan art depicting him as Bruce Lee. (Another note: "And yes, this image actually exists on the web. Feel free to search for it if you don't believe me.")  
**

**Ichigo: ...Challenge accepted. (Googles image)**

**Everyone: (Peers at computer) ...OH NO WAY! AHAHAHA!**

**Me: Wow, that's gonna stay with me forever. ...OH, RIGHT, ON WITH THE STUFF!**

**Carmen: (Is cuddling Orlando Bloom's acting career) You smell like Old Spice!**

**Everyone: (Steps away from Carmen slowly)**

**Kon: Uh...RIGHT! THE STUFF! (Wheels in a welcome home cake for Peyton and Ichigo and a trophy for me on completing 100 chapters from Morcelink)**

**Me: YAY! (Wears trophy)**

**Rukia: ...You make MY knowledge of the Human World look phenomenal. You don't wear those on your head, Mandy.**

**Me: Oh, I know, I just thought it looked like a Viking hat so I wanted to try it out.**

**Ichigo: (Facepalms) Let's just...keep going...**

**Me: RIGHT! KOOOON!**

**Kon: RIGHT HERE, MISTRESS MANDY! (Wheels in a big cup of pinacolada and a monkey Lala(Note: "its a really strong drink, and the cup is 1 feet big!") from Dgj212 and Cake Number Five from Namine1112. It's a five tier chocolate strawberry cake, and on top is Peyton with giant purple sparks coming from her hands and Renji & Ichigo cowering in fear. Inside the cake is a vanilla pudding filling and the cake is frosted in lilac, home-made, vanilla buttercream frosting)**

**Me/Ichigo: (Drooling) I can't take looking at any more cakes, is this the last one?**

**Kon: Uhhh...(Looks in cart) Actually, nope, one more.**

**Me/Ichigo: AW, DAMMIT!**

**Kon: (Presents Cake Number Six from Syco, it's a simple cake with a Renji figurine cowering in fear while Peyton's arm is spewing electricity, and holding a laser pointer giving off her evil look.)**

**Me/Ichigo: Okay, good, LET'S DO THIS! (Star nomming on cakes)**

**Me: OH, WAIT! THIS IS THE LAST FUCKING CHAPTER, I NEED TO MAKE AN EPIC LAST CHAPTER SPEECH!**

**Rukia: Great, this'll take forever...**

**Me: Shut up. Okay. YOU GUYS, I worked on this story for over a year, and I'm still working on it even after the last chapter's finished! What with the sequel, and occasionally I go and look at old chapters and edit them, you know, polishing them up for those who haven't read the story yet. I want to thank everyone who's stuck by the story, some of you since I posted my first two chapters, like ShadowGouf and Jennifurball. I want to thank those who have just started reading it, like Dreamerboy84. I want to thank those who have reviewed almost every chapter without fail, like ShatterTheHeavens, or Reason to Scatter, Namine112, people off the top of my head that I remember reading reviews from almost every chapter within a day or two of posting it. I wanna thank Erin, aka BleachedHime, for being an amazing Fanfic friend - and a strong one at that, considering everything you've been through since I started talking to you. We hold the record for most perverted dialogues of all time, I'm sure of it. I want to thank Jennifurball for being the one who first planted the seed of thought in my head for making Ichigo and Peyton a couple -**

**Ichigo: I THANK YOU TOO.**

**Me: ...Anyway. And for being a great friend on both DeviantArt and Fanfic. I want to thank ShadowGouf for being another great Fanfic friend and looking out for me. I want to thank everyone, even those I haven't named, from the bottom of my heart for reading this and laughing and loving it. Do you have any idea how unbelievably awesome it is to log on here every day and see over 600 reviews for this story, and looking at traffic and seeing it's still one of my most heavily-read stories? Even when I suck at updating? It's amazing. And I love the funny reviews you guys leave, especially when they're about how hard you laughed in study hall or while your parents were asleep as you started reading the story late at night and couldn't stop until you caught up. Or when you think about Peyton or other characters and the stupid shit they did when you go to Disney World. It's awesome. And that's why I do the story, not just because I love writing and writing about Peyton and her family, but because I love making you guys laugh and keep reading. **

**Rukia: So keep laughing, keep reading, and keep-**

**Ichigo: SENDING IN CAKES! OMNOMNOMNOM-**

**Me: (Hits Ichigo with a gauntlet) SHUT UP, THEY DON'T HAVE TO, YOU HAVE PLENTY OF CAKE YOU BASTARD!**

**Ichigo: ...Sorry...(continues eating cake innocently)**

**Me: ...(Sigh) Well, I better wrap this up before Fanfic cuts my author's note short. Again. Thank you, thank you, thank you. It's been an awesome ride, and I can't wait to work on the sequel! So read...**

**Carmen/Ichigo: LEAVE SOME GREAT REVIEWS...**

**Rukia: AND ENJOOOOO-**

**Everyone: (Joins in) ENJOOOOOOOOOOOOY!**

* * *

"I can't believe this," Renji growled, clenching and unclenching his hands and hissing in pain.

Isshin was trying not to laugh, much like everyone else in the room. Well, minus Yuzu, of course. "You're sure he'll be okay, Papa?" she asked, brows furrowed to the extreme.

"He'll be fine, the burns are only second-degree," Isshin replied, he and Yuzu continuing to cover Renji's burns with moist bandages and trying not to break the handful of blisters among the burns.

"How the hell will you _sleep_ at night, knowing I have second-degree burns all over me thanks to you?" he demanded to know from Peyton, who was leaning against the wall on Ichigo's left.

"About as well as I usually do, I imagine," she replied simply, making Ichigo snicker and Rukia bite her lip to keep from giggling.

"It's not...that..._that_ bad, Renji," Rukia managed to get out, making his eye twitch.

"'Not that bad'? NOT THAT BAD? I HAVE _**BURNS**_ ON MY _**ASS**_!" he shouted, making the three laugh too hard to hold back any longer.

Yuzu shook her head at them, eyes flashing. "It's not funny, you three! If you had pointed your laser pointer at him any longer, Peyton, the damage could have been permanent!"

"That'd make a great story to tell your children and grandchildren, Renji," Karin snickered, making them all laugh even harder.

"Alright, alright, calm down," Isshin shouted over their laughter, looking to be on the brink of laughing himself. "Renji, be sure to keep your legs and arms elevated for the next twenty-four hours, and change the bandages regularly. Otherwise you'll be more prone to infection, plus you'll smell like shit – literally."

"Yeah, well, what about my ass?" Renji deadpanned, prompting everyone to glance at his still-steaming butt that was currently propped up on about ten pillows. It made him rather tall, much to Peyton's annoyance.

_Man, I wish I was tall...but I guess having burns on your ass in order to **get** that tall's a bit of a drawback..._

"Flip over," Isshin said simply, and Renji immediately did so.

"OWWWWWW, AH SHIT!" he screeched, and Yuzu and Karin's eyes grew wide at all the steam.

"Holy crap, she practically _cooked_ him," Karin muttered.

Isshin waved everyone off. "I'll treat his butt by myself, you guys get outta here."

Karin and Yuzu happily complied, throwing off their nurse clothing and slamming the door behind them.

"Godspeed, Renji," Ichigo said solemnly, prompting the former to glare at the latter.

"Get outta here, Strawberry!"

"Happily, Pineapple Head!"

Rukia rolled her eyes and dragged Ichigo out with her and Peyton, who bit her lip as she glanced back at the clinic. "I can't help but feel a little guilty...I guess I got carried away..."

"Ya THINK?" everyone deadpanned, making her temple throb.

"I was pissed, okay! I can't help it that I have a short fuse!"

"AAAAHHH! DAMN YOU TO HELL, PEYTON!"

"Think he'll ever get over this?" she asked, eyes wide as there were more sounds of Renji screaming like a little girl and Isshin assuring him he'd be done soon.

"...Maybe," Rukia said slowly, eyes equally wide. "What on earth is Isshin _doing_ to him?"

"I HOPE YOU GET AIDS!"

"He sounds really pissed," Ichigo commented, obviously highly amused.

"I HOPE YOU DIE IN A SEKKI-SEKKI PIT! NO, BETTER YET, A LIGHTNING STORM! HA! IRONY!"

"He's losing it," Peyton replied, shaking her head slowly.

"I HOPE YOU WIND UP IN THE KILLER CLOWN DIMENSION! I HOPE YOU AND ICHIGO HAVE STUPID CLUMSY BABIES!"

"SHUT UP, PINEAPPLE HEAD, OUR KIDS WOULD BE THE SMARTEST AND MOST BADASS KIDS ON THE PLANET!" Ichigo shouted, making Rukia facepalm and Peyton turn bright red.

"Ichigo, you idiot..."

"What? It's true."

"It should be illegal for the two of you to reproduce," Rukia replied, making both their temples throb.

"WHY THE HELL DO YOU SAY THAT?" they shouted, Peyton's embarrassment long forgotten.

"The last thing we need are kids running around that have insanely high spiritual pressures, can't mind their own business, could give people second-degree burns on their asses, manage to leave a trail of disaster everywhere they go, and have THE shortest fuses on the planet!"

"...What if both our sucky traits cancel each other out and we produce the awesomest, nicest, kindest, most badass kids on the planet?" Peyton pointed out, making Ichigo sweatdrop.

"So you agree with everything she said about us?"

"Well, it IS all kinda true."

"We're gonna have nieces and nephews?" Yuzu suddenly asked eagerly, making them both do Spazzy Wet Noodle Dances.

"WH-WHAT? NO ONE SAID THAT!"

"CAN I BE THE GODMOTHER OF THE FIRST CHILD?"

"Actually, I believe I already claimed that right," Rukia replied calmly, making Peyton sigh and turn even redder.

"No way, I did!" Lindsay suddenly exclaimed from right behind them, making them all jump with screams. "LINDSAY!"

"JEEZ, DON'T DO THAT!"

"THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!" Renji groaned, making them all sweatdrop.

"What's wrong with Renji?" Lindsay asked, her wide blue eyes glued to the door of the Kurosaki Clinic.

"N-Nothing!" Peyton and Ichigo shouted, the former laughing nervously as the latter avoided Lindsay's eye contact.

"...Oooo...kay...Well, anyway, you might wanna come home."

The two paled, and Ichigo gulped. "Does Dad know where we...where we were?" Peyton asked, pure horror written all over her face.

"No, he just thinks you were spending the night here last night and that was the only night you were gone. They just came back last night."

"It's a goddamn _miracle_ they didn't see us at the airport, then," Ichigo mused, and Peyton nodded in agreement.

"Damn right it is!"

"I didn't know you even came _home_ last night until Nanaw said she saw you and Ichigo on the porch!" Lindsay accused, and the two shivered.

"Don't remind me..." Ichigo grumbled.

"...I just won't even question it. Knowing Nanaw, the answer'd probably give me nightmares," Lindsay muttered, shivering as well before brightening. "So, how's everyone back in Tennessee?"

Peyton shrugged. "Healthy, happy cougars."

"That love shoving Southern food down my throat," Ichigo added with a shudder, making Lindsay and Rukia sweatdrop as Peyton just smiled at him apologetically.

"Hey, look on the bright side – that means they like you!"

"Yeah, your Aunt Lynn _really_ likes me..."

"Don't remind me," Peyton grumbled, temple throbbing at the very mention. Rukia opened her mouth to comment, but Lindsay just shook her head.

"Enough said. Lynn's the reason _half_ my old boyfriends ran off. You learn to just hide your boyfriends from her," she said wisely, earning a nod of agreement from Ichigo.

"I could live with that."

"Well, I could stand here and do this all day –"

"What, listen to Renji scream like a girl?" Peyton suggested, making her sister's temple throb.

"No, sis. ...Well, _maybe_, but still! We better get home 'fore Dad has a heart attack. ...Or brings out Old Winona, whichever comes first."

Peyton's brows furrowed. "Why would he do either?"

Lindsay shrugged, pulling her out the door. "Dunno, but he was pissed at you when I left. My guess is that it was 'cause you were at Ichigo's all night again. Bye Ichigo, Rukia, Karin, Yuzu! BYE MR. KUROSAKI AND RENJIIII!"

Several shouts of different variations of "BYE!" echoed out of the house before Lindsay shut the door, dragging Peyton all the way home as she rambled off about eighty thousand "What if dad...?" scenarios that mainly involved a painful end for Ichigo.

* * *

Sure enough, Dad was quiet when they got home. _Terrible_ sign. Miya was sipping her coffee, and Peyton couldn't even make eye contact after what she'd seen last night. Partly out of the fact that she was still slightly jealous of her body, but mainly out of the trauma of seeing her...well, like that.

"Ah, look. I _knew_ we had two daughters," Dad said simply, not taking his eyes off the newspaper.

Peyton decided to play the Cheerfully Naive Card, blinking down at him innocently. "Hiya guys! About time ya'll got home...How was Barbados?"

Miya seemed to forget her husband was angry, immediately brightening and using her Excited Giddy Schoolgirl tone. "Oh, it was AWESOME! The beach was even better than you guys said it was! We're going back as soon as we can, and this time you guys should come with us! I bet we could get Seth to come down...RIGHT, Mark?"

"Eh," he grumbled, flipping a page of the newspaper; Peyton gulped.

"So...Dad. What's the paper say?"

"The paper says it's really suspicious that my daughter spent the night at her boyfriend's house. Again. What exactly do ya'll _do_ at night there once everyone else goes to sleep? Lord knows you stay up until the sun comes up during the summer," he questioned in a tone so casual that she feared for her life.

"W-We play Wii, that's why I'm so toned lately! Pffft, whadda you THINK we do, Dad?" she asked somewhat defensively.

"Honestly? I think ya'll do something you REALLY shouldn't be doing," he replied simply, making her turn bright red as Lindsay snorted a laugh and Miya chugged down her coffee.

"Ya know, Peyton, I'll find out if you're doing what I _think_ you're doing – even if Seth ain't here anymore to poke into your business for me. So you might as well just tell me _right now_."

"Um," she squeaked, glancing at Miya for some kind of assistance.

"Um? Does um mean 'yes, I confess', or does um mean 'hold on, lemme figure a way out of this first'?"

"N-N-Neither!" she said defensively, hands on her hips. "It means 'lemme wrap my head around the fact that my dad thinks I'm having sex!'"

Now he was the flustered one. "I-I didn't say that!"

"'Something you REALLY shouldn't be doing'? I'M NOT _STUPID_!"

"WELL ARE YOU? ARE YOU AND YOUR DAMN BOYFRIEND _ACTING_ STUPID?"

"...SO WHAT IF WE WERE?" she retorted, glaring over at him. "What would you do if I _was_ doing what you seem to be hellbent on assuming I'm doing?" she asked with honest curiosity.

There was a long pause, and he finally looked up from his paper to stare her down. "Well, now, that depends. First, I'd ask WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?"

Everyone in the room jumped, Peyton the hardest.

"Then," he continued calmly, "I'd ask if you were okay. Then I'd ask if you used protection, at least one of you. Then I'd demand to know how long you've been going over there and having sex right under my nose, and I'd mention your mother and ask how you think _she_ would like the situation. ...And of course I'd tell you something along the lines of 'Never see that pervert again', but you wouldn't listen and you'd probably go off and get knocked up or something just to prove your point. So, knowing that in hindsight, I would probably just skip all of that, get up, grab Old Winona, and take care of it the old-fashioned way!" he said matter-of-factly, plopping the newspaper down on the table for emphasis as he cheerfully grinned up at her horrified expression.

She quickly wiped the expression off her face, however, smiling down at him just as cheerfully. "Aw. As much as I'd love for you to...murder my boyfriend, er, Ichigo and I aren't doing...that. We make out, I'll admit that much, but I'm still a virgin!" she lied cheerfully, making him cringe.

"Gah! I don't want to know the gory details of your relationship!" he exclaimed, standing up and taking his newspaper to the kitchen to read instead.

Lindsay sweatdropped. "So...he's cool with asking if you're sleeping around, but considers the thought of ya'll making out gory?"

Miya sighed deeply and shook her head. "My husband...he's so backwards."

Nanaw suddenly shuffled into the room, humming to herself. "Can't waaaaait...for my two hours in heaaaa-veeen...I've got – two-o tickets to paaaaradise! I've got – oh, wait...wrong song...Oh well."

Peyton grinned evilly, making Lindsay and Miya gulp on Ichigo's behalf. "Just the pick-me-up I need...Ichigo's suffering. Hey Naaaa-naw!"

* * *

_**MEANWHILE****...**_

"Yo, Ichigo."

He resisted the urge to sigh, not looking in Renji's direction as he continued to watch tv. "_What_, Renji."

"How would you feel if I killed Peyton? You'd eventually get over it, right?" he asked, Ichigo turning to gawk at his dead serious expression.

"WH-WHAT THE HELL KIND OF QUESTION IS _THAT_?" he shouted, throwing the remote across the room during his mini-spazz-attack.

"Tch. A damn good one! If I unleashed Zabimaru on her and won, you'd _eventually_ get over her death, right?"

"You jackass, that would be like _me_ using bankai on Rukia!"

"DON'T drag me into this stupid conversation!" the tiny Soul Reaper exclaimed, Chappy marker poised above her paper as she glared at them from the floor.

"Yeah, this ain't about Rukia! Your girlfriend's the reason I have to change bandages on my ASS! MY _BURNT_ ASS!"

"That sounds like a personal problem, Renji. Besides, it's your fault for pissing her off. I get pummeled if I piss her off enough or on the wrong day, why shouldn't you?"

"'Cause I ain't dating her, for one thing, meaning I'm not WHIPPED!" he shot back, imitating a whip once again and making Ichigo's eye twitch.

Before anything else could be said, though, their Soul Reaper phones went off. They all groaned, and Renji waved Ichigo off. "Go take care of that, Kurosaki."

"WHAT?"

"C'mooon, you're capable! Be a team player, would ya?"

"Renji, it's our duty as Soul Reapers to take care of it as well!"

"You gonna stop coloring to do it, Rukia?"

"...Ichigo, you're capable!"

"GODDAMMIT!" Ichigo shouted, getting up off the couch and plucking Kon off the floor as he ran towards him. "Oh, perfect timing."

"Perfect timing for what? I CAME TO DEFEND PEYTON FROM THAT PINEAPPLE-HEADED MORON!"

"Good, I need you in my body for a little bit." The last thing he needed was for his dad and Yuzu to complain about him sleeping on the couch while they tried to watch Glee – heaven forbid he take up their space and not even watch the show.

Ichigo went Soul Reaper and dashed off behind his house; the Hollow was in the exact opposite direction of _Peyton's_ house, from which she was practically sprinting to get to _Ichigo's_ house.

When she flung the door open, she made a beeline for Kon with a grin on her face so maniacal that even Renji gulped and sunk lower into the couch. "Hey Ichigo. It's time for your two hours in heaven!" she chirped happily, grabbing him by the shirt and dragging him out the door.

Kon started to protest, but then he processed what she'd said. "T-Two hours in...in heaven?" he asked with near-giddy excitement. He quickly replaced it with a scowl when Peyton eyed him suspiciously. "...Why're you so excited?"

"I-I'm not, I'm miserable just thinking about it," he stated in the best Ichigo Tone he could manage, scowl deepening. Peyton seemed convinced, turning back around and humming something as she dragged him to her house.

Of course, in Kon's mind he was seeing Rangiku and Orihime mud-wrestling in bikinis two sizes too small, Nee-san declaring her undying love for him, and all three girls having a pillow fight with Peyton.

Oh yeah. It took all he had to keep the grin off his face and his pants from becoming noticeably tight as she continued to drag him, laughing to herself.

Finally they reached her house, and she dragged him upstairs. For a split second, he was both terrified and excited with the thought crossing his mind that he was about to see first-hand what she and Ichigo did at night.

Or the afternoon.

Pretty much any time of day when they thought no one was around.

Either way, he was beyond confused when they went past her room and to some other room upstairs that smelled like Victoria's Secret and old people.

...Not a good combination, by the way.

Peyton gave him one of the most evil smirks he'd seen her wear, making him gulp. "P-Peyton, I got a confession, I'm not –"

"It can wait," she said simply, opening the door and shoving him inside. He whirled around to try and open it again, but some old lady was already in front of the door locking it. Kon slowly put two and two together, eyes wide with terror.

"Oh...Oh no..."

"Oh _yes_! Your long wait's _finally_ over, Hunk Muffin, LET'S BEGIN!" she exclaimed, turning her light to a lower setting and kicking off her house shoes.

"...P...P...PEEEEEEEYYYTOOOOOOOOON!"

* * *

Peyton stopped halfway down the stairs, cocking her head. "That sounded kinda weird for Ichigo's voice...Oh. Wait. He's suffering at the hands of Nanaw. ...No wonder," she muttered with a chuckle as she sat down on the couch between Lindsay and Dad.

"Peyton?"

"Yeah, Dad?" she asked warily, wondering if he was still suspicious. All he did was smirk as he set his paper down oh so slowly...and then he jumped up and gave her two big thumbs up.

"GOOD JOB, HON! THROWING ICHIGO IN THERE WITH NANAW WAS BRILLIANT! WELL-EXECUTED! MY FAITH IN YOU IS RESTORED ONCE MORE!"

Lindsay sweatdropped as Dad promptly swooped Peyton into a huge hug, spinning her around as she shouted in protest. "I LOVE YOU, YOUNGEST DAUGHTER OF MINE!"

"THAT'S GREAT, PUT ME DOWN!"

"I'M _SO_ GLAD YOU'RE NOT SCREWING AROUND WITH THAT DUMBASS, IF YOU WERE YOU FOR _SURE_ WOULDN'T HAVE HANDED HIM OFF TO NANAW LIKE THAT!"

"Y-Y-YEAH, OF COURSE! NO-NO SCREWING AROUND GOING ON HERE! AHAHA!"

"WHY CAN'T ALL TEENAGE GIRLS BE LIKE YOU?"

"ARE YOU GUILT-TRIPPING ME?"

"WHAT?"

"NOTHING, I LOVE YOU!"

"I LOVE YOU TOO!"

"AHAHAHAHAHA!"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"...You guys are ON something," Lindsay stated with an exaggerated nod as she changed the channel to some reality show and tried to watch it despite Dad flinging Peyton every which way.

Miya chose that moment to practically fly down the stairs, eyes wide. "Somethin' wrong?" Lindsay asked, only half-interested and already absorbed in the tv.

"I heard girlish screams and snapping dentures coming from Nanaw's room. What poor creature did you leave unattended up there?"

"I think Peyton stuck Ichigo up there..."

"No, there's no way THAT was Ichigo...How could he go through all he went through trying to get Peyton back and be terrified of _Nanaw_?" Miya wondered, sitting down next to Lindsay and offering her some popcorn.

Lindsay snorted a laugh as she took a handful, shaking her head. "Miya, I love you, I really do, but have you not paid attention since you moved in here? Nanaw's, like, the biggest cougar in the world. And she totally has the hots for Ichigo."

"Who says 'the hots' anymore?" Peyton and Dad wondered in unison, still spinning around.

"I DO!" Lindsay exclaimed, temple throbbing.

"_WHAAAAAAT_-EVER!" they shouted, spinning faster and laughing like morons.

"...Are they _on_ something?" Miya asked, eyeing her husband worriedly.

Lindsay shook her head, watching the tv again. "Who knows. Whooooo _knoooows_..."

* * *

Kon dove under the bed only to be pulled back out again by his ankles and lifted upside-down so that he was face-to-saggy-boobs with the old lady.

"Wait...how the hell can you lift me up like that?" Kon practically squeaked.

"I do Zumba!" she exclaimed proudly, throwing him on the bed.

"H-H-HOLY SHIT!" Kon shouted, rolling off the bed and just barely avoiding her long nails clawing for his shirt.

It was about that time he remembered that he had the best jumping skills in Karakura – _no, the WORLD...which Nee-san should totally be impressed by, Ichigo just has that giant sword and without it he'd be –_

"GOTCHYA!" she shouted, grabbing his ass and yanking him back by the shirt at the same time.

"OH GOD NO!" Kon screeched as she pinned him against the wall.

"NOW. We're gonna see just how good you are at pleasing a _woman_, Hunk Muffin, instead of an inexperienced child! First, rub my feet!" she said cheerfully, pulling him onto the bed and wiggling her feet in the air.

Kon nearly keeled over right then and there, both the sight and smell nauseating. _That's it, that's it, THAT'S IT! _

"THAT DOOR'S COMING DOWN!" Kon shouted, pointing an accusing finger at her bedroom door.

* * *

Right when Peyton was starting to feel overwhelmingly dizzy, the front door burst open to reveal Renji and Rukia, eyes wide. "WE HEARD SCREAMING!" they shouted, sweatdropping as Dad and Peyton promptly crashed into a bunch of cardboard boxes they'd never put up from when Miya moved in.

"Owww..."

"That's karma for never taking those to the street," Miya said sweetly, kissing her husband on the forehead and strolling to the kitchen as if nothing odd had happened.

"Oh, bite me!"

"Love you too, sweetie."

"...Miya, hon, can you fix me a sandwich?"

"Once you take the boxes to the street."

"...Peyton, get up, you're on top of the boxes."

"WHAT THE HELL, DAD, YOU DROPPED ME, GIMME A SECOND TO RELOCATE MY LIMBS FIRST!"

Lindsay shook her head as she took Miya's popcorn bowl that she'd left on the couch. "Huh, maybe she HAS gotten used to things around here. Scarily used to it. ...Oh, hi Renji! Are you alright, I heard you screaming bloody murder when I showed up to get Peyton!" she said cheerfully, standing up with the popcorn bowl still in one hand.

Rukia laughed nervously with a sweatdrop as Renji's eye twitched at the very mention. "Eheheh...he's fine...!"

Lindsay shrugged as Peyton finally stood up and brushed herself off. "If ya say so. Popcorn?"

Renji reached for some before yelping and grabbing his shoulder, and Peyton gulped and took off running before he even had a chance to grab her. "PEYTON, GODDAMN YOU, I CAN'T EVEN REACH FOR POPCORN! I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO USE ZABIMARU ON YOU, BUT I CAN KICK YOUR ASS _ANY_ DAY!"

"NOT IF YOU CAN'T CATCH ME!"

"AGH!"

She was about midway up the stairs when Nanaw's door was kicked across the hallway and Ichigo ran out, practically tackling her in his hurry and sending them both tumbling down the stairs.

Which, of course, caused them to take Renji down the stairs with them.

"OWWWWW, MY ASS! PEYTON, YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THIS IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!"

"RENJI, I THINK I BROKE SOMETHING, CAN WE CALL IT EVEN?"

"HELL NO!"

Isshin then practically pranced through the front door, Karin and Yuzu in tow. "Rukia, Renji, why'd you leave? IT'S NOT OVER YET!" he exclaimed, tears in his and Yuzu's eyes.

Karin rolled her eyes and crouched down in front of Akuma, rubbing his belly once he rolled over.

"Oh, Mr. Kurosaki, I'm soooo sorry! I hope we didn't upset you! I was just concerned about all the _screaming_!" Rukia exclaimed, widening her violet eyes innocently as she played up her Schoolgirl Act once more.

"What's not over yet?" Dad asked, shaking Isshin's hand.

"GLEE!"

"...GLEE'S ON?" Lindsay and Miya exclaimed, Miya practically running out of the kitchen and diving onto the couch. "OHMIGOD, LINDSAY, CHANGE THE CHANNEL!"

"I AM, I AM!"

Isshin and Yuzu dove onto the couch as well, and Dad stared at them all as they changed the channel in the middle of some musical number.

"...What in the name of Sam Hill is _Glee_?"

"Honey, I _only_ talk about it all the time! Sit down, you might like it!" Miya said cheerfully, patting the empty cushion next to her. He did so, grumbling to himself, but did it nonetheless.

Keigo chose that moment to burst through the door next, looking around. "I HEARD SCREAMING AND SAW EVERYONE COMING HERE, SO EITHER SOMEONE DIED OR THERE'S A KILLER PARTY! OH GOOD, LINDSAY, YOU'RE ALIVE! AND PEYTON TOO! AND EVERYONE ELSE! SO WE MUST BE HAVING A _PAAAAART_-"

Everyone on the couch turned towards him with rather demonic auras and twitching eyes. "SHHHHH!"

He sunk to the floor like some demented form of the Spazzy Wet Noodle Dance, hands on the sides of his face. "O-Okaaaaay!"

And _that's_ when the real Ichigo burst through the door in his Soul Reaper form, eyes wide. "PEYTON, IS EVERYTHING OKAY?" he shouted, looking around and quickly sweatdropping at the sight of everyone crowded on one couch watching the one show he hated, minus Keigo sobbing on the floor about how no one appreciated his "wicked party animal spirit", Karin playing with the dog, Kon sitting in the fetal position and rocking back-and-forth by the foot of the stairs, and Peyton and Renji pretty much wrestling each other across the floor- _Wait, WHAT?_

"HEY, JUST WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, YOU DAMN PINEAPPLE HEAD?" he demanded, stomping over as they both abruptly stopped fighting.

"Kicking your girlfriend's ass, what does it look like I'm doing?" Renji said matter-of-factly, a scowl on his face.

Peyton huffed. "Funny, I thought _I_ was kicking _your_ ass."

"Oh? Then why am _I_ the one on to-" Renji was cut off as she flipped them so she was on top of him, scowling at him.

"Want me to give you more burns or what?"

"...I'll get you back. One day, _faaar_ away from today, when you _least_ expect it, YOUR ASS IS MINE!"

"I think Ichigo would have a thing or two to say about that," Keigo snickered from the floor, making Renji's eye twitch.

"Did you say somethin', Asano?" he asked, slowly turning his head to flash Keigo a face worthy of Ikkaku's scariest.

"N-NO, NOT A THING, NOTHING AT –"

"KEIGO, BE QUIET!" Lindsay shouted, making him immediately shut up.

"...I love you?"

"Yeah," was her thoughtful reply, already back into the show. Keigo drooped by epic proportions, and that's when Peyton finally realized Ichigo wasn't in his body.

"Wait...if you were off fighting Hollows this whole time...that means...Holy crap, Kon, I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed, jumping to her feet and running to crouch next to Kon, the nervous wreck in the corner.

"She kissed me. SHE KISSED ME. SHE GRABBED MY ASS. THAT WAS _NOT_ HOW I IMAGINED IT WOULD BE. WHY WOULD YOU PUT ME THROUGH THAT _HELL_? WHY-Y-Y-YYYY? I'M SO _MISTREATED_! NO ONE APPRECIATES KON _EVER_! ...I'm talking in third person. I'M TALKING IN THIRD PER-ER-_SOOOOON_!" he practically sobbed, burying his face in her boobs.

Ichigo's eye twitched, but she gave him a glare that stopped him dead in his tracks. "Don't even. This is totally your fault."

"_My_ fault? I don't even know what the hell's going on!"

"I DRAGGED YOUR ASS OVER FOR YOUR TWO HOURS IN HEAVEN, ONLY IT _WASN'T_ YOUR ASS, APPARENTLY!"

"Heaven? That's a lie! A LIE!" Kon sobbed, and Peyton patted his back sympathetically.

Ichigo gawked at them for a second, then he started laughing. "A-Are you serious? KON TOOK THE TWO HOURS IN HEAVEN INSTEAD OF ME? AHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Renji?"

"Whadda you want."

"Hit Ichigo for me."

"_That_ I'll do."

_**BAM!**_

"What the hell, Renji, that hurt!"

"So? Take it like a man, Strawberry, you're too whipped for your own good!"

"For the last time, I'm not _whipped_!"

"Oh REALLY?"

"REALLY!"

"WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE, THEN?"

"YOU BET YOUR PINEAPPLE ASS I DO!"

"Renji, would you PLEASE stop shouting at air while we're trying to watch Glee?" Lindsay asked in a voice so polite that it was nearly terrifying, making Renji gulp as Ichigo snickered and slipped back into his body.

"S-Sorry!"

"Thank you!"

"...How come you're so much nicer to _him_?"

"CAN IT, KEIGO!"

"I'M SORRY, BABY, I LOVE YOU!"

"SH!"

"OKAY, OKAY!"

Peyton sighed and went to the kitchen, shaking her head. "I need some meds now, you people make my head want to explode."

* * *

She heard the door open once again and walked even faster to the kitchen, not wanting to see what kind of chaos was going to ensue from their arrival. She'd had an ominous feeling from the start of the day, and her feelings were never wrong. Hence why she'd been less-than-tolerant of everything. She was NOT looking forward to seeing how things would play out.

As if on cue, she had just taken a couple pills and finished her water when she glanced out the window and noticed Kisuke outside talking to Ichigo, Rukia, and Renji.

Knowing it was a long shot, Peyton opened the window and was still a little disappointed that she couldn't hear them. She quietly slid the window open a little further, bent her aura to some random wave, and crept through the window to stand a little ways to the right of Ichigo.

Habit.

"...finally here. Yoruichi and I have been monitoring it _very_ carefully, and it looks like Aizen's finally on the move, just like we expected. Gotei 13's already been notified, and they're preparing to be able to head out on a moment's notice."

_Wait, what?_

"Aizen..." Renji muttered, shaking his head.

"Like we didn't know this was coming," Ichigo grumbled. "It's what we've been waiting for for a little over a year now."

"Are the Pillars ready then?" Rukia asked, making Ichigo's brows furrow.

"Pillars?"

Kisuke opened his fan and waved it lazily. "The Four Pillars. When they're completely assembled, it'll make the switch."

"What switch?"

Renji's temple throbbed. "You honestly think we'd send the Gotei 13 in _here_? There'd be nothing _left_ of Karakura Town!"

_Nothing left?_

"So I invented the Four Pillars. They'll replace Karakura Town with an exact copy of the town, just without the people. The _real_ Karakura Town'll be in the Soul Society. Switching them back would be moderately easy, so long as the Pillars remain intact and all that," Kisuke elaborated.

"So...Everyone else'll be fine. It'll just be Aizen and his Espada against us," Ichigo stated, though it sounded more like a question.

Kisuke nodded, eyes shifting over to lock on Peyton's, making her shiver. _Dammit, he always knows._ "That's right! Everyone else will be _just fine_." His gaze wandered over the other three swiftly, still smiling behind his fan.

"When is Aizen suspected to arrive? How long do we have?" Rukia asked, her tone so serious it made Peyton's stomach twist into knots.

"That's the hard part. He could show up in three days, he could show up in three weeks, or anywhere inbetween. Which is why the Pillars will need to be activated as soon as possible. I'll probably run some final checks on them tonight – the citizens of Karakura Town should all be asleep and the Pillars activated by tomorrow afternoon."

"Asleep?" Ichigo repeated.

"Yes, you're listening, that's good!" Kisuke exclaimed, making Ichigo's eye twitch.

"...Just explain already."

"Everyone'll be put to sleep – they'll just drop in the middle of whatever they're doing, I presume. Can't have them waking up and noticing Soul Society on the outskirts of their town, now, can we? I imagine that would freak people out."

"...Point taken."

"Just act normal, we don't want to cause people to worry before we head off to battle."

_Battle..._

Kisuke closed his fan, face completely serious now. "And get some rest, Ichigo. We're counting heavily on you. You've spent about a year getting ready for when Aizen sets foot on the world of the living, you've done all you can do..."

He paused, making even Peyton lean forward to see what he was going to say, and he suddenly smirked. "So hold off on sex until this blows over, you'll need all the strength you can get and I don't need your girlfriend wearing you out."

Ichigo immediately turned bright red despite his major temple throb, eye twitching more than ever. "WH-WHERE THE HELL DID _THAT_ COME FROM? YOU PERVERT!"

Kisuke whipped his fan back open, turning to take his leave. "I _meeean_ it, Ichigo," he practically giggled, strolling casually down the road.

* * *

As Rukia sweatdropped, Renji snickered, and Ichigo continued to shout after Urahara, Peyton stood there with her eyes wide and jaw slack.

She'd been stuck that way since she first overheard the conversation. She was already starting to regret knowing anything at all. Peyton had heard bits and pieces about Sosuke Aizen since she'd found out about Soul Reapers; she knew he was a traitor of Soul Society, and she knew he had kidnapped Orihime.

...But that was all over a year ago, like they said. Why was he being brought back up again? Why was Karakura Town being moved? And why was Gotei 13 coming? Surely there wasn't going to be some huge all-out war because of this one guy...right?

Once Ichigo gave up on shouting at Kisuke, Renji sighed. "Y'know...I was expecting it to happen soon, but at the back of my mind, I was still hoping he'd just give up or get killed in Las Noches by his own Espada..._something_."

Rukia frowned. "I think we all hoped that. But we all knew it would be up to us...and ultimately, up to you," she added, looking at Ichigo.

"I knew something bad was gonna happen today," Ichigo grumbled, and the other two nodded before heading inside.

Peyton smiled a little at that, somehow feeling a little better knowing she wasn't the only one who felt it. The smile was wiped right off her face when he sighed again and commented once the other two were inside, "You can bend your aura back now, I know you're there."

_Well, dammit._


	104. Please, Please, PLEASE Read This

You guys.

I cannot. Even. Begin. To tell you all. How deeply sorry I am.

Those of you who were PM'ing me regularly, I think you last heard I had strep throat. I got sick with a stomach virus not long after, at least, that's what I thought it was.

It wasn't. I was sick for almost a month, and after lots of blood work and shots and an ultrasound, my doctor discovered I had literally _no_ Vitamin D and _no_ Vitamin B- namely B12. This equals no energy, very poor health, brittle nails, not being able to keep food down, lots of fun stuff. This was back in September of 2011, and I _still_ have to take 4000 units of Vitamin D a day and get B12 shots monthly. ...Speaking of which, I'm exhausted as I'm typing this and in need of my latest shot. But my levels are slowly going back to normal. They're almost halfway to the minimum range a normal person's level should be now.

However, I got sick with some of the same symptoms later on in the year, around November or something, I think. Couldn't keep food down, couldn't do much of anything, and when I did eat, my stomach would swell. THAT was new. And I'm not talking Food Baby Swelling, I mean "Oh my dear Aizen, it looks like I've swallowed a tire" swelling. Not to mention I had gained weight. ...Like...twenty pounds _easy_ kind of weight over the course of a few months. Which made no sense because, like I said, I wasn't eating much of anything. So, after yet MORE blood drawn, shots given, and a gallbladder test with IVs galore - did I mention I used to have a fear of needles until this April after, what, the twenty-eighth fuckin' blood test? - it took two other doctors to discover I had a motility issue. Which basically means something was causing a backup in my intestines and nothing was exiting my system as quick as it should have been.

So I was put on these little pink pills to take before meals three times a day, which I'm still on. My pill list has gone down exponentially as of recently, but it's still a pretty fucking huge list.

On a more personal note, I went through a death of a really close family member, a new relationship that damn near sucked the life out of me as he slowly turned out to be...for lack of a more flattering term...manipulative bastard from whom I tolerated things I would _never_ have tolerated before and never will again, AND most importantly, I was trying desperately to keep my grades up.

Ya'all, I am genuinely amazed I passed Sophomore year with the grades I did. After missing over 30 days of school, my lowest semester average was an 81. It was even _more_ pressure because my school's grade system is a bit more challenging compared to others nearby, not to mention my absences made me have to take _every_ exam (which counts for a fourth of our final grade), and I had an _extremely_ difficult college-level exam for AP World History that even a close college friend of mine thought was sent from hell.

Those of you who watch my deviantART account - for whatever reason - also know I've been posting stuff on there and managing Ask Accounts with almost no problem. ...That takes a lot less effort than it does continuing stories. Answering people's questions and drawings were methods of keeping me sane and from being overwhelmed with everything, and I'm not trying to excuse not talking to anyone on here or even giving you guys an update for so long, but it's the only thing I can provide as an explanation for why I was keeping things up there and not here.

That and I was wanting to write an Author's Note when I had some updated chapters and possibly the first chapter to a Bleach sequel ready to post for you guys. Or at least under the works. But I felt worse and worse the longer I put this note off, and I have to admit to you all, I have nothing written so far.

I wouldn't call it Writer's Block, just Exhausted Writing Mind. So many essays, projects, studying - it all made answering questions and drawing a welcome change. And now I have a shitload of Summer Work to do, but I have plenty of time to do it. After I get at least a third of that out of the way - which I'm close to doing, actually - I hope to get back into writing again.

I miss writing. I miss talking to you all. I really do.

I must warn you though, my writing has likely changed some. I've grown more, mentally and emotionally, and I honestly don't know whether or not that's a good thing. And I'm not sure I'll be updating regularly, I'm scared I'll get sick again, I'm scared to not stay on top of my schoolwork.

I'm one of the best slackers around, but I can't pull off _that_ good of a balancing act. And if I want to become a psychologist one day - which I do, I really truly do, and that "one day" is getting even closer now that I'm a Junior - I need to put my academics first.

Also, I didn't have a laptop until Spring break. So I didn't have THAT many options, see? And once I had it, I used it _almost_ exclusively for school; there were the occasional deviantART chat antics and Skype conversations to clear my mind.

Because if I sat here and typed down that I did nothing but schoolwork on this thing, my laptop would likely get so pissed at that bold-faced lie that it would fry itself.

Now that I think about it after rambling on this Author's Note, I think the main reason I haven't written anything is because I've been almost scared to. I didn't want to write a new chapter here and there, get everyone excited, and then disappear off the face of the earth again.

But I promise you all right now, I'm gonna do my best to get back in the swing of things. This was my most difficult year health-wise, and you honestly have no idea how much it's affected me. Physically and mentally. And how stressed I've been. And am. But I can't wait to get back to my stories again, and break out of my old habits writing-wise: firstly with fixing my habit of making redhead OCs. I honestly don't even know how that came about, _yes_ I have red hair, and I _do_ have a couple close friends with even MORE red hair. And the OCs were all of the same make-up, but to be honest, it wasn't even wish fulfillment. I didn't imagine these characters as myself, I didn't pair them with people I'd want to be paired with. They just appeared that way in my brain, I wrote down the first chapter, and from there my fingers took care of the rest. Every twist and turn surprised me as much as it surprised you to read it, and I've laughed and raged just like some of you might have. I think it was more of a familiar territory kind of thing. But you can only do so much of that before accepting your mistakes and fixing them, right?

And I'm going to work on my character development, too. You can't make your OCs well-rounded and then just kind of go halfway with everyone else. Like I said, I've grown a bit. And dammit, after the long wait I've put ya'all through, you deserve some originality. ...Well, more originality.

On that note, I'll end this rambling note and just hope you guys can forgive me. Feel free to leave a review or PM me saying whatever you'd like, I wouldn't be surprised if some of you are angry. Or if you just wanna say hi and tell me how things have been for YOU since I've been gone. I really do care about people who read the random stuff I put on here, and I remember most if not _**all** _of my reviewers, I swear on my Chips A'Hoy. ...Which I hold very dear to my heart, just saying.

And please, take care of yourselves. Exercise at least a little regularly, go out and enjoy the sun, enjoy your friends, enjoy life! I've been cooped up all year, and lemme tell ya, that'll get you to long for the outdoors like nothing else. I've also discovered that even I, the great Mandy, can perceive people through rose-colored glasses. Be aware of exactly who it is you're dealing with, and if your girlfriend or boyfriend - or anyone- gives off red flags, no matter how small they are, no matter how badly you want to just overlook them, ponder them. Think carefully about them. And don't be afraid to break things off. I wasn't, and though it was hard afterward, I can't imagine how much worse it would have been if I'd let it keep going.

Just...be careful, you guys. I care about you all.

Glad to be back,

Mandy~


End file.
